Hey faggot your mom paid me a thousand bucks to fuck you.

>>30554148
>"MOOOOOM! I SAID THE BLONDE REDNECK, NOT THE FLAT DYKE!"

>>30554148
Get the fuck off my property I don't want any ugly ass dyke.

>>30554148
But I don't WANT TO FUCKING FUCK YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!

>>30554148

But...YOU are my mom...

>>30554187
You have a weird family Anon.

>>30554148
I said the bushy pink haired slut, not the shitty rainbow one.

>>30554148

Very funny. Now give me my goddamn pizza and breadsticks, you're an hour late.

>>30554148
I'm worth a little more than that

>>30554148
>Right after she said that, she takes a gulp from one of the bottles she's carrying
"...But, my mom doesn't have a thousand bucks?"
>Dash stops drinking for a second
>"Hm? Oh right! -I- paid her a thousand bucks to let me fuck you."

>>30554148
"You what? But you're a lesbian!"
>"Yeah, yeah, I know, but I need the money. Now, chug this shit and let's make it quick."
"Oh dear, you're definitely the worst hooker I've ever met"
>"Implying you ever had the balls to pay one"
"...touchè. Now, let's talk: gimme 300 and I'll tell my mom we fucked like animals."
>"Fuck no. 100"
"200?"
>"...deal"
"Sweet. Wanna play PES while we pretend?"
>"Sure, I can beat you even with San Marino"

>>30554148
>>30554254
WRITEFAG

>>30554266

That's actually kind of cute.

> this happened to me irl when I was 17
> less rainbow dash, and less money, obv
> i got most of my sex ed from a 30 something hooker in barcelona
> catholic families, man...

>>30554148
"Describe this putative mom, if you would? My mother died of cancer some years ago, so I'd really like to know who actually put you up to this."

>>30554266
>"Oh, aaah, yes, like that, you're an an- HEY, NO CHEATING!"
"sssssh, you'll blew our...I MEAN BLOW MY DICK, BITCH! YEAH, LIKE THAT! YOU'RE GOOOOOD"
>"Ooooooh, I'm in heaven, just a little...more..."
"N-not yet, you...no, shit, stop..."
>"To the right...ooooh, yeeees..."
"BRING IT DOWN, GODDAMMIT!! GO IN HARD!!"
>"Yes...YES....YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!! SAN MARINO 3, BRAZIL ZEEEEEEEEROOOOO!"

>>30554332
>>30554266
This Anon is a bigger faggot than Rainbow

>>30554266
I would do this too. I don't want to dehumanize rainbow dash, plus I would like to keep my wizard status

>>30554148
That's very nice of her.

>>30554155
>>30554165
>>30554209
>>30554252
>Not wanting to lick her dyke pussy

>>30554367
It looks like you would feel more confortable if Big Mac showed up instead of Rainbow Dash, if you catch my drift.

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>>30554148
A thousand?, your ass doesn't worth that much

>>30554389
Actually that would be kinda cool.
We could play D&D.

>>30554408
Dicks&Dildos

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>>30554187

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>>30554398
GIVE THIS MAN A PONY PUSSY, HE DESERVES IT

"But where are your hooves?"

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>>30554148
>Hey anon I paid Scruffy a thousand bucks to have a roleplay thread.

>>30554379
Her pussy is probably infected with all sorts of STDs.

>>30554518
"A thousand?!? But he does it for free, for anime! FUCKING JANITOR!!"

>>30554525
Yummy

>>30554148
Anyone giving news that starts with "hey faggot" needs their ass whooped on sight

>>30554565
do you think she'd be in to that

>>30554148
I'm sorry to hear she wasted her money, because this man is saving himself for his waifu in the afterlife.

S-Stop laughing!

>>30554830
Glimmer would

>>30554830
I wonder if she's be into having a door slammed in her face.

>>30554148

"You might want to take a couple of steps back, because I'm gonna slam the fuck out of this door."

No way fag

>>30554897
And then dash raped Anon.

>>30554266
>$300
>not $500

You're a fucking beta bitch, faggot.

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>>30554209

>>30554148
Fucking scammed my mom, you look like you're 20 bucks at best

>>30554148
so thats what she did with the money she was saving for me to go to collage

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>>30554155
Although this, dash would be vigorously rutted.

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>>30554398
>doesn't worth that much

>>30554379
Yeah I don't want my house to smell like fish and rotting meat.

>>30555086
>>30555086
Ewwww, what the fuck is that image?

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>>30554148
>Sitting on the sofa with Rainbow slut
>"HEY FAGGOT ARE WE GONNA DO THIS SHIT OR WHAT? I AM DUNK OFF MY AS RIGHT NOW"
>Unsure if you should waste your precious virginity on this whore that your mom got.

>>30554398
Next time speaky de engrish.

>>30554148
Source please? I can't fucking find this image.

>>30555256
https://derpibooru.org/1489239
http://theartrix.deviantart.com/art/Netflix-and-chill-693189954

>>30555280
Thanks, anon!

>>30554367
>PES
>not FIFA

>>30554148
one day I will finish and post the picture of pissed anon demonstrating with a sign that says "not my waifu"

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>>30555210
>he wouldnt cum inside human dash

>>30555353
>his divegrass simulation software doesn't let him play with /mlp/'s 4cc models

Plebeius maximus

>>30555404
there's a dozen better "ponies" to lose your virginity to, though

>>30555409
>there's a dozen better "ponies" to lose your virginity to, though
>implying any of them would fuck you

>>30555409
>a dozen
>not literally any that's not Dash
⭐ You tried

>>30555409
Beggars can't be choosers.

>>30555210
>wait whole life for this moment
>too nervous too make first move
>dash starts laughing at the awkward boner i your pants.

>>30554148

"GILDA! YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HERE, AND SHE BROUGHT BOOZE!"

>>30554533
Hence taking the bribe.