You would fuck a pony, but you wouldn't kiss one.

>>30507585
Not with those fucked up lips, I wouldn't. What the fuck is wrong with this picture? Who drew that shit?

>>30507585
Tru dat
Have you ever seen a horses mouth?
Its disgusting
i would let one suck my cock tho

>>30507585
My waifu lives in EQG so no I wouldn't have sex or kiss the horse.

>>30507585
Yes, I can!

>>30507585
You're wrong. I'd spend hours making out with a pony.

>>30507585
I imagine pony lips are better than that so yes I would

>>30507585
I'd kiss a mare anywhere/anytime/anyway they wanted me to. They're the boss, so it's really a question of if they'd kiss a human.
I'd kiss a stallion too, but in more of an equal way.

>>30507585
Yes. Sloppily, with lots of tongue

>>30507593
The rest of the comic is otherwise very good. So far.

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>>30507585
You underestimate me, my good sir.

>>30507585
>implying I havent kissed one already

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>>30507585
i want a pony to stick its tongue down my throat until i choke

>>30509125
Link me senpai.
Please.

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>>30507585
>

>>30509844
>he doesnt frequently search the anon tag on derpi for easy wishfufillment / laughs.

>>30509907
I-I dont know how to tell you this b-but I don't self-insert as Anon

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>>30509930
>I don't self-insert as Anon
wait what
How can you not do that?

>>30507585
Damn right I would.

>>30507585
I'll would love to kiss Twily

>>30507659
What do you do when you got a bunch of stallions and mares following you around for you sugary sweet kisses then

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>>30507596
>Ponies love salt licks
>Anon's dear is the saltiest thing in Equestria.
>Comparable to 100% pure uncut Columbian Sugar.
>?????
>Extreme profit

>>30509125
The often somewhat human-like poses and anatomy on the ponies tend to really irk me in the comic. It's really annoying because it's fairly well done otherwise. The problem is that it often looks really unnatural, otherwise it probably wouldn't bother me as much. It's weird too, because some of his art looks perfectly fine to me.

>>30507585

>YouUnderEstimateMyPowerAnakin.png

>>30507585
Fuck a pony but not kiss it too?

Faggot
Why not fully commit?

>>30510308
Damn I remember a greentext where anon noticed a lack of salt in the food so he always bringed a salt shaker with it, ponies freak out because they think anon is addicted to salt.

Maybe its the same but in another green he got ponies stalking anon because hiz sweat is salty so hilarity ensues

>>30507585
That comic is disgusting.

>>30507585
They don't even have lips tho. I would rather kiss those delicious pucci lips :^).

>>30510565
Great. Now I'm curious.
Sauce?

>>30510727
>They don't even have lips
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F0hWcDBhpY

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>>30510410

>>30510857
"A Display of Passion" by Alcor.

>>30510727
And you get this.

https://derpibooru.org/1432220

>>30507610
Sad!

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>>30507610
>EqGays

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>>30510897
>This is rape! I'll tell Anita Sarkeesian on you!

>>30509844
I got you senpai
https://e621.net/pool/show/11476

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>>30509930
That's pretty big of you man, I give you a lot of credit. Most people are too fucking autistic to resist. Good on you

>>30510857
>>30510940 beat me to it

I bet their breath tastes like hay, ew.

>>30510033
Because 9/10 times Anons a pathetic piece of shit even by my standards

>>30510940
This is a fucking masterpiece!

>>30510977
He was right about it being disgusting, but it's still pretty hawt.

>>30510940
THIs is pretty good, so good

>>30510410

>Today should be a good day.
>Today is... LEG DAY!!!
>And that means meeting up at the gym for a workout session with one of the realest ponies you know.
>"Yo Anon!" your good friend and coach greets you. "What's up ya big goof?"
"I am! Bright and early and ready to hit the gym!"
>"Alright, way to be!" Rainbow Dash comes back, holding up one fore hoof which you immediately fist-bump.
>This is exactly what you needed after that disastrous night at the bar, and that weird session in the kitchen with Pinkie pie.
>Honestly, the last thing you had expected when she invited you over to bake with her had been to be sexually assaulted.
>But a good, solid training session with Wonderbolt Rainbow Dash should be just the thing to hit the reset button and help you get to grips with this strange affection ponies seem to be having for you lately.
>You and Dash spend about ten minutes warming up and stretching, because muscle injuries suck.
>Dash is almost as flexible as Blossomforth, and has really helped you to loosen up your own lanky frame.
>"Easy there, Anon, don't bounce, remember? Steady pull now."
"Yeah, okay I got it."
>Having stretched out, you and Dash immediately launch into a series of calisthenics targeting your lower limbs.
>You're a biped and she's a quadruped, so the mechanics are significantly different, but she always encourages you to do your best.
>"Good work! Let's take a break before we run. Don't forget to hydrate, bud!"
>She's also careful, solicitous even, to make sure that you don't hurt yourself.
>She's definitely improved your work-out habits, and you can notice the difference already after just a few weeks.
>You head out to the track, feeling the breeze on your skin as it glistens with sweat.
"So what's the bet today, Dash?"
>"Hmmm..."
>She adopts an uncharacteristically thoughtful pose.
>"Say Anon, I heard a weird story about you."
>Uh-oh.
"What's that?"
>She blushes a bit, but keeps her gaze fixed on you.

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>>30507585
of course i would

>>30511150

>"I heard that your sweat is, like, really salty."
"Oh, that mess in the bar?"
>"Pinkie told me."
>Dammit Pinkie.
>"So... it got me kinda curious, and here's what I'm thinking."
>You're sweating more now, but it has nothing to do with exertion.
>"I give you a fifteen-second head-start, and then I try to catch you."
"Catch me?"
>"Yeah, and if I catch you," she leers at you now, "I get to see for myself what that story is all about."
"What? Come on, Dash, that's not exactly fair. You're fast, even on the ground."
>"That's why I'm giving you a head-start, dummy! It'll motivate you to step up your game!"
>You are not exactly sure about that look she's giving you.
"I have a better idea for a bet."
>"Nope, you set the bet last week. It's my turn."
"Come on, Rainbow Dash, this isn't funny."
>"Fifteen."
"Cut it out."
>"Fourteen."
"What? What happened to a fifteen-second head start?"
>"Better stop talking and start running then. Thirteen."
>Rainbow Dash plants herself on the start line.
"If you're thinking of doing what I think you're thinking of doing-"
>"Twelve."
>Fuck it. Run.
>You take off down the track running like your chastity depended on it.
>"THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" you hear Rainbow Dash yell behind you. "ELEVEN!"
>You block it out.
>You block everything out except your legs and your lungs, concentrating on pouring on as much speed as you are capable.
>Maybe if you reach the end of the track before her...
>Or did she mean for the first lap, like the bet usually goes?
>Not the full twelve laps, surely?
>Pace yourself.
>Don't wear yourself out.
>Her advice comes unbidden to your mind as you practically sprint down the track.
>You can almost hear her voice.
>In fact you can hear her voice.
>"READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!!!"
>SHIT!
>Shit, shit, shit, shit shit!
>Keep running.
>Keep breathing.
>Keep sweating.
>Dammit, she planned this!
>Rainbow Dash set you up!
>You hear hoofbeats behind you.
>Or maybe your imagination has gone into overdrive along with your legs?

>>30511253

>Nope, those are definitely hoof beats.
>You begin the first turn, and Rainbow Dash overtakes you on the outside, a look of determination on her face.
>She keeps powering along until she reaches the other straight and skids to a stop.
>"Caught you!" She says, with a triumphant grin.
"NOPE!"
>With a grunt of effort you hurdle her.
>You catch a glimpse of the surprised look on her face as you sail cleanly over her back with room to spare.
>"SO IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE THAT?"
>Your landing is a little sloppy, but you regain your pace quickly.
>The opposite turn comes closer, if you can finish the first lap, she might concede.
>Yeah, when does Rainbow Dash ever concede anything?
>There's those hoof beats again.
>You start the turn.
>Reaching mentally for that lap marker.
>Determined to reach it before she does.
>Once more, a blue blur overtakes you on the outside, but instead of surging ahead of you she deliberately bumps you off the track and into the muddy grass inside the course.
>You lose your footing almost immediately and land with a wet splat in the soft grass.
>Fortunately, Rainbow Dash has also taught you how to take a fall without getting hurt, so you skid to a stop with everything intact.
>Except your dignity.
>Before you can get up, you feel a warm weight settle atop your hips.
>You're breathing too hard to speak at this point.
>Rainbow Dash is also breathing hard, but apparently it's not enough to stop her from gloating.
>"Like... I said... I caught you!"
"Dirty...pool"
>"I win!"
>And without any further preamble she pushes your shirt up and lowers her muzzle to your panting body.
>You feel her tongue making quick, broad strokes over your ribs and you try to push her away, but she's having none of it.
>"Oh yeah," she says between strokes of her tongue, "There's... definitely... something... to those... stories..."
>She bats your arm away again and wraps her rear legs around your thigh, anchoring herself in place.

>>30511311

>Rainbow Dash raises her head and looks at you.
>"I won, let me have my reward!"
"I never agreed to-"
>You are forced to interrupt yourself as she resumes licking, hitting a particularly sensitive spot with her tongue.
>You try to push her off again, but she merely tightens her grip on you, working her way up your chest to your neck and head.
>"We should do this more often!"
"What, sexual assault? No!"
>Clearly crazed with something, she seals of your protest with her mouth, aggressively pushing her tongue up against your lips.
>You keep your mouth firmly shut until she breaks the kiss.
>"See? This can be fun for both of us!"
"This isn't fun for me!"
>Not heeding your protest, she goes back to licking your neck.
>You're exhausted and she easily overpowers you until the intoxicating effects of the salt cause her to relax enough that you can finally pry her loose from your body and stand up.
>"That was great..."
"Alright, shower time."
>You angrily stalk off to the showers.
>This salt thing is starting to get out of control.
>"Hey Anon - best two out of three!"
"NOPE!"
>Fucking salt-starved ponies.

>>30511369

Binned here, along with other tales in a similar vein:
https://pastebin.com/1w0L8KC3

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>>30511378

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>>30511369
That was good.

>>30507585
I would kiss my waifu and only her

>>30510902
>>30510917
Fuck the both of you I can fantasize.
I don't need to be approved, it's not like........ I hate myself.

>>30509930
Yeah, neither do I. I always see him as a completely different person.

>>30510212
The mares go first and do with me as they please, without limit.
When they are done, the stallions can kiss me one at a time, with how tame/passionate things get being a question of what both of us are in the mood for.

>>30512067
My nigga. This is the right way.

>>30511369
cute

>>30509930
This. I didn't realise people actually did. How can you self insert as a character so different from you?

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>>30512997
I self insert as Quibble Pants.

>>30511369
>Anon's body is a prize for ponies, to be won or lost, and some pones will get pushy about it.
UNF

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>>30510947
>PaintWithDonaldTrump.com

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>>30510940
Thanks fampai.
Twi looks weird with the pink zones in her fur but the rest it's pretty good desu

>>30510947
Thanks man.

>>30512067
>>30512183
>>30512997
My negros.