Did these three proved that herds were a thing? Or was that a

>>30493395
HURRRDURRR TRAPS XDDDD

>>30493395
There's too many one-mare-one-stallion married couples for herds to be the normal way of doing things in Equestria.
Herds are likely a thing there in the same sense that polyamory is a thing here.

>>30493395
Herds confirmed. At the end of the episode he definitely took all three of those mares for himself.

>>30493440
Oh yeah, but they're not accepted here
And they clearly didn't give a fuck about other ponies seeing them swooning for the same cock

>>30493395
I'm back.
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30467115/#q30491012
>Spread says: "SHE's busy."
"I don't want this to become worse than it already is."
>Spread says: "She's already gone through a lot, leave her alone."
"And I haven't?"
>Spread says: "You wouldn't understand."
>she shuts the door behind her and walks away
>well, now what?
>you only have today and tomorrow to fix this before you have to go back with the shipment
>and who knows when you'll have the chance to come back?
>and if you do, the resentment will only have grown in Lola
>you need to do something
>you remember what Twilight said: "Would you like us to talk with him as well?"
>it seems like a stupid idea, but Spread nor Sweet Pea will probably let you talk to Lola
>so you walk back to Twilight and Rarity
>they're in the bakery
>Rarity says: "How did it go?"
"Not good."
>Rarity says: "Oh."
"Spread wouldn't let me talk to him, and I have a feeling Sweet Pea won't either."
>Twilight says: "So what's the new plan?"
"I think you should talk to him, Twilight."
>Twilight says: "I thought you said that wouldn't help."
"I have no other option."

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>>30493462

>>30494015
Well yeah, but that's a medieval/pre-renaissance setting, and it's a cartoon

>>30493991
Here are the posts for the green
>>30471798
>>30472998
>>30477315
>>30480679
>>30483605
>>30483918
>>30484174
>>30487583
>>30491012

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>>30493991
>Insisting he is a she despite the dick.
Absolute fucking worst, anon should cut his losses.

>>30494044
Right where it belongs, dead.

>>30493991
What the fuck is this writing? It's like I'm reading a rendition from a fucking conversation with a valley girl.

>>30493991
>Twilight says: "Well, what do you want me to say?"
"I just want you to convince him to let me have a talk with him, and that I'm not angry at him."
>Twilight says: "Alright."
>Rarity says: "I think I should come as well."
>Twilight says: "Why?"
>Rarity says: "How do I put this politely. You aren't exactly the best with romantic relationships Twilight."
>Twilight says: "Hey!"
>Rarity says: "And the map sent me with you for a reason."
>Twilight gives her a stern look, and then sighs
>Twilight says: "Okay."
>You walk out of the bakery with them
>you point at Lola's door
"That's their place."
>Twilight says: "We'll be back soon."
>you see them knock on the door
>Sweet Pea greets the door and bows to Twilight
>they close the door behind them
>you just have to sit here for who knows how long
>you start mulling over about what happens after this
>what would you say if she does talk with you?
>what would happen if she doesn't?
>would you gradually forget about this?
>is this much stress even worth it?
>if you do make things up with Lola, what happens next?
>you just start staring at the door, waiting to see what happens
>when it finally does open it startles you
>you see Twilight walk out
>then Rarity
>and finally a sad looking Lola
>>30494124
Is it the short sentence structure or the vocabulary I'm using?

>>30494170
Don't mind them Anon
The short sentence is weird but it's a green text so who cares, we're not expecting 24k words stories here
It's one of the 'FAGGOTS ARE DEGENERATES REEEE' faggot

>>30494242
Criticism is criticism, I need to listen to it, but thank you.
Now that I thought about it, he's probably commenting on me using ">X says:", so now I'll just do ">X:".

>>30494278
desu thats just as bad senpai

Nudge.
Loving this story, Anon, please continue. These three need more attention.

>>30494170
Dude, still fucking good aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>>30494170
i guess he's asleep

>>30495330
Why are you typing like a Tumblrina.

>>30493440
Maybe Ponyville is just a degenerate monogamous colony.

>>30493395
I want to believe.

>>30495367
Dunno, maybe i'm just sleepy

>>30493395
Yes anon I'm sure your childrens tv show featuring cute colored horses for children was trying to make an allegorical statement on the existence of polyatomic relationships. I mean what else could it possibly be anon, a joke? What do you think this is? Some kind of light hearted slice of life comedy? Wheres the artistic merit in that. Thank you for pointing out this piece of intelligent lore, I'm sure youre not projecting your shitty fetish at all here

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>>30496149
I mean, they didn't exactly hide it senpai. He was going over to get with the three mares that have been all over him since the beginning with the cmc helping him. I don't know what else to take from that.

>>30496174
Why are you assuming that he stayed with any of them. Wouldn't make more sense to think that he just fucked them. It's natural for males to want to mate with as many females as possible, the same isn't the case for wanted to be tied down to several mates

>>30496190
so polygamy

>>30496192
I think youre missing me here anon.

relationship ≠ casually fucking

>>30496197
looked like polygamy to me

>>30496225
it for intentionally looking for it I'm sure it would be

>>30496238
You're being silly, Anon
This is a show for kid, they wouldn't show this kind of shit if it was supposed to represent just a fling, just a quick fuck
The same way you'll never hear of Big mac breaking up with sugar belle, they wouldn't just make this kind of shit on TV
If you show the start of a relationship, it's until death do them apart
This wouldn't be a great morale for the kids, 'oh, you couldn't make the girl you love fall for you and she chose another guy? Then don't worry, you can just go 180° and fuck those three sluts that are just asking for it!'

>>30496280
It's almost as if the entire scene was set up as a joke that no one was supposed to put that much thought into

>>30496291
Oh yeah, but isn't the whole point of this board to overanalyze an overblown glorified toy commercial?
That and discuss about horsepuss, of course

>>30493395
There's Dash and the Wonderbolts in Sonic Rainboom as well. However, there are also many monogamous couples.

I'd say both happen, polyamorous arrangementa being significantly rarer but not strange. Even interspecies relationships between pony and dragon or pony and donkey are considered acceptable and almost normal in Equestria.

>trap autism
>cars autism
Why are these mares cursed with such idioticy?

>>30496594
no idea.

>>30496594
>mad about cars
Busrider detected

They're mares not stallions

>>30494278
Something I often see in greentext is that it's implied who's speaking rather than explicitly written.

G E L D I N G S!
E
L
D
I
N
G
S
!

>>30497257
no

this thread will not die, not on my watch

>>30497648
why don't you queers just take this to regererejblahblahblah

pretty sure this is their thread image right now

>>30494024
>And it's a cartoon

Anon, read that again, slowly.

>>30497770
But that's my point, silly
That they're both cartoons, so you can't take them as examples of what could be considered acceptable or not in our society

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>>30497273

>>30497884
balls > cock

cocks are great, but they're garbage without that large, musky sack

>>30494170
>Twilight says:
>Rarity says:
Anon says: Stop writing like that. Are you in middle school or something?

>>30494170
>"Hello."
"Hi Lola."
>"I'm sorry, I never meant for things to happen like they did. I was going to tell you but everything was just going so fast."
"But you could have told me as soon as we met."
>"I-I...
>he starts tearing up
>"I'm just so tired of being alone. No one wants a stallion who feels like he's a mare."
>you all just stand there, in silence, except for Lola's crying
>"Spread, Sweet Pea, and I left Vanhoover because we thought we could have a new start, where no one knows who we really are. I fucked that up big time."
"Lola, it's okay."
>"No it isn't! I've hurt everyone near me."
"You just made a mistake, I see that now, and everyone here is willing to forgive you."
>"Really?"
"Yes. Just promise me you'll never lie to people like that again."
>"I-I promise."
>you hug him
>"Thank you."
"It's alright."
>you let go
>"There's still one more problem."
"What?"
>"Who's going to date a pony like me? I can't change that I feel like a mare, believe me I've tried."
"Despite what you did Lola, you're still an amazing pony, I had a lot of fun last night, more fun than I've had in a long time, and I'm sure somepony will be able to look past all of the other things."
>"That means a lot. Thank you."
"And you may not be a real mare, but I'd be willing to call you my mare."
>he blushes
>she blushes
>"Are you saying...
>you kiss her

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>>30498180
Man, this is pretty good

>>30496594
Memers. They forced it into a meme early on.

cock

>>30498180
is that it?

>>30498180
And then anon was cast out of equestria for encouraging the spread of degeneracy against the Culture of the Nation, and died like a bitch. Lola was found and forced to undergo therapy to accept that he is a stallion and not a mare. Everyone else lived happily ever after, and the show continues to spread traditional Christian messages.
The End.

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>>30493395
Didn't prove herds. It's a fucking Beauty and the Beast reference, shit.

>>30494170
This writing style is fucking awful, thank you for trying at least but have you ever written dialogue before? Jesus

>>30499630
Is there anyway I can make it better? Or is it something only more writing will fix? This is my second greentext ever, so I'm not very experienced.

>>30499397
but hes going for all three tho

>>30499717
Get rid of the
>He said:
>She said:
bit for starters. If you're good at it, people will be able to keep track of who is talking by themselves. Dialogue seems a bit robotic too, try to be more conversational with it. I ain't even read the rest, so I dounno.

>>30499750
Alright.

>>30499717
If you're gonna state who's saying what every line, do it after the quotes end. If you do it like you were doing before, with the whole "_____ says:" every line, it looks insanely unprofessional. Have an example of what might make things better:

Instead of:
>Twilight says: "Well, what do you want me to say?"
"I just want you to convince him to let me have a talk with him, and that I'm not angry at him."
>Twilight says: "Alright."
>Rarity says: "I think I should come as well."
>Twilight says: "Why?"

Try possibly doing it like this:
>"Well, what do you want me to say?" Twilight asks
"I just want you to convince him to let me have a talk with him, and that I'm not angry at him."
>"Hmm.. Alright." she says
>"I think I should come as well." Rarity adds
>"Why?" Twilight asks, raising an eyebrow questioningly

Try adding more flavor and description in dialogue. Things like facial expressions, tone of voice, actions the characters are doing while they're speaking. Some more punctuation might help too.

For example,
>Rarity says: "How do I put this politely. You aren't exactly the best with romantic relationships Twilight."
Would look better (in my opinion) as:
>"How might I put this politely..?" Rarity asks. "You aren't exactly the best with romantic relationships, Twilight."

>>30499750 was right when he said your dialogue seems a bit.. robotic. But don't be disheartened, you can always improve!

>>30499790
this, desu senpai

but please, continue the green. it's making me feel things, and i really wanna read more

>>30499790
Thanks Anon, I really appreciate the support and tips.
And thanks to all the people who complimented this work.

>>30499750
>try to be more conversational

I'm not the writefriend, but could you elaborate on what you mean by this, perhaps using examples from this green and giving an example of how they could be more conversational? I'm doing a lot of lurking to see some of the dos and don'ts of writing pony fics, and it would help me understand things a bit more.

>>30499728
Have you considered that he's just dating them all to see which one he wants to be with the most?

>>30499890

>>30499790 gives good conversational tips that you can make use of

>Try adding more flavor and description in dialogue. Things like facial expressions, tone of voice, actions the characters are doing while they're speaking. Some more punctuation might help too.

>>30499717
>>30499790
>>30499890

Green is a bit weird too. It's not a formal style and it doesn't exactly conform to standard rules. It can be a little strange to get the hang of. It's often leaves a lot of things to the reader to infer or imagine themselves. Just one thing for example:

>"Well, what do you want me to say?" Twilight asks
"I just want you to convince him to let me have a talk with him, and that I'm not angry at him."
>"Hmm.. Alright." she says
>"I think I should come as well." Rarity adds
>"Why?" Twilight asks, raising an eyebrow questioningly

It works, but it sill feels a bit off. Your white text dialogue is obviously your main character focus, right? So if you are writing a >Be Anon story, then Anon always just talks "Like this, you faget." So you never have to use a 'Anon said' or any of that shit. But in the spirit of green, you might also eliminate the need to clarify who is speaking for another character too. So in this bit we know that Anon speaks in white, but we also know that if Twilight is the secondary focus. That is, even though everbody else talks in green, we know that unless otherwise specified (and that specification could even be through dialogue choice like "darling" etc. Though do be careful with that.) the green dialogue is Twi.

>"Well, what do you want me to say?"
"I just want you to convince him to let me have a talk with him, tell him that I'm not angry."
>"Hmm.. Alright."
>The two of you stand in silence for a moment.
>Twilight looks pretty pensive.
>"I think I should come as well." Rarity adds
>Twiggles gives her a funny look.
>"Wha- why?"

I don't know, it's kind of a minimalist style of writing, but you can still do it really well with lots of detail. It's fucking weird, man. Just keep at it. You'll get a feel for it of your own.

>>30499842
The conflict is done, so this story probably only has a post or two left in it. I'm going to try to follow the advice given in this thread and work on it a bit more before posting it this time, I hope you don't mind.

>>30499920
Absolutely this, thanks for correcting me.

>>30499917
Oh. Thank you for pointing that out.
>>30499920
This is also very helpful

This thread is weird.

>>30501416
It's just right.

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this

>>30493395
No, not herds.

Just fangirls.

Wow this is some autism.
Nothing in the show has shown that herds are a thing in Equestrian society and from what we've seen it's clear that the norm is having a single partner. That was just a gag.

bumpin

>>30502167
Big Mac can't catch a break can he?

>>30499397
No one herds like Gaston
Uses words like Gaston

>>30493395
I've never herd something like this before.

>>30503639
>Uses words like Gaston
You can do better, Anon.

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>>30493395
How the episode really ended.

>>30493395
These three mares tortured me in a dream. I hate them

>>30506223
Details?

>>30506198
>be smol colt
>See this
>What the fuck is happening? Are they going to hurt him?
>And why are these three fillies so happy and excited about this?!
>Dad was right, bucking mares are all the same!
>Go play soccer with the other colts for a couple hours

>Come back to the main street and see the three fillies from earlier glued to the window of the Renault sisters' home
>They're swinging their rumps left and right, their tails flicking about as if to chase invisible bugs
>You can even see their bits--
>No, you shouldn't
>Then they all turn 180, panting and a blush on their face
>And their eyes find you
>You gulp, fearing that they caught you looking at their flanks
>They give each other knowing looks, throwing a peek at you from time to time
>And you guess it's your cue to gtfo
>But them calling you out makes you freeze mid-step
>"Hi!"
>"What's your name?"
>"Wanna play a game?"
"I-I don't know if--"
>The pegasus jumps to your side, her small wing flaring out and wrapping itself around your barrel, tugging you close and pressing you into her soft coat
>"Come on, we need to try this, this is going to be so much fun!"
>"Ah'm on top!"
>"And I want to kiss him first!"

>>30506656
?

>>30498180
come on where is the meatspin

>>30506235
It'll sound stupid but if you really wanna know I'll tell you

>>30509360
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7-BX4bWYvg

>>30506656
lood

>>30507570
?

>>30509360
I really want to hear.