RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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TUFT

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>>30477278
First for the mother of the year Conceal Carry and her ability to have guns and foals without anyone being able to tell

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Droner Poner edition.

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>In RGRE it is a social norm to form a herd.
>Even if you don't like it, there is a pressure from the outside to conform to the majority.
>Being in a herd makes you a normie.

Really activates my almonds.

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>>30477472
I'm going to marry princess Celestia and only princess Celestia and no one can stop me. Who's going to tell her no?

>>30477577
Her mother.

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>>30477577
Maybe Celestia doesn't want to set a bad example for her ponies (they can't ALL have a stallion to themselves).
You would hurt Celestia just to get what you want? She'd kick your selfish entitled ass to the curb faster than month old carrot stems.

Celly would never forgive herself (or you) if she didn't at least share the stallion of her dreams with her sister!

>>30477472
Just makes it easier to become a rebel and recruit an honest, upstanding and hardworking mare into your wicked cult of monogamy.

After all the social ostracizing you'll probably have to find a more 'out of the way' place to live, though. Probably somewhere really rural or just straight up built manually in the wilderness, like a compound of sorts. Also, you can add other pairs of horses into your group who feel the same way and desire the same way of life. Also you may be deified as a virgin-mary-flavored holy figure, fully fall into the role, and even enjoy its perks. Also guns. Lots of guns.

Anontown in Equestria when

>>30477606
>There technically *is* a "Royal Herd".
>It's composed of Celestia, Luna, Cadence and her husband, and Twilight post-Ascension.
>Blueblood, much to his irritation, is a Prince in Name Only, and thus isn't included.
>There are "sub-herds" too, where members of one can belong to another, but any conflicting matters are subordinate to the "main's" decision in the hierarchy.
>Hence why Twilight and the other 5 can be in their own herd, and why Shining and Cadence are in a "herd of two".
>However, agreements between the main herd members were that, even though Shining was the only current stallion in the herd, he was Cadence's alone.
>Hence the marriage.
>Unfortunately, Anon dating Celestia has thrown a monkey-wrench into matters.
>While friendly with Luna, he's in love with Celestia.
>However, expectations are that he's supposed to be with all the mares in a herd.
>That includes Twilight and Cadence, each of who have an interest in him too.
>Luna just doesn't really give a fuck, and will go with whatever happens.
>She's more interested in wine and pizza, behind closed doors.

>For all their talk and nature of "love and friendship", ponies are still as a vicious as any other species when it comes to mates.
>Anon has been dating Flitter and Cloudchaser for a few months, and they're pretty happy.
>While not the strongest ponies around, they've managed to "stake their claim" and cleverly fend off any "herd poachers" after Anon.
>At least until Cadence comes to town.
>Despite Shining, she's smitten by Anon on sight.
>Stays in Ponyville on the guise of "holiday and to see family".
>In reality, there's begins competing for Anon.using traditional "wooing", puffing up her chest fluff, doing things to try to make Anon see she'd be a better provider than the two sisters, trying to intimidate them in displays of dominance, etcetera.
>Anon has no idea what's going on.

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>>30477703
>Luna just doesn't really give a fuck, and will go with whatever happens.
>She's more interested in wine and pizza, behind closed doors.

>Luna is Jughead

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>>30477606
>You would hurt Celestia just to get what you want?
I already got what I want

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>>30477760
>After some time, he catches on.
>No one expected the sudden offense or aggression that popped up out of him.
>There's no way in hell anyone is taking him away from his mares. All who try are doomed to fail.

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>>30477760
>In reality, there's begins competing for Anon.using traditional "wooing", puffing up her chest fluff
I now have a mental image of random ponies walking around Ponyville fluffing their tufts at each other

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>Twiggy is concerned about your monogamist tendencies and brings up a statistic like over half of all monogamist stallions come from broken homes.
>She says you can tell her anything, and that she'll always be there to lend an ear and support you.

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>>30477969
Well that's easy cuz pony ears are big.

>>30477969
bitch, i am from a completely different species and culture. why the fuck would you believe i would share similar norms and values? you're supposed to be the smart one!

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>>30477821
>Shining was the one who accidently spilled the beans after a night of drunken (platonic) cuddling.
>Understands anon's position, he's a bit of a deviant himself in regards to monogamy.
>Promises to tell his wife to back off,
>She dismisses it as coltish whimsy, pointing out that "he's obviously comfortable enough with you to cuddle, he just needs to see how great i am compared to those two other mares."
>Ignoring her husbands increasingly frantic gestures, she continues on in a rant outlining her objective superiority, the resources of the empire and the companionship of another stallion.
>Turning away from her now facehoofing husband, she spots anon a short distance away looking in her direction, he must have been checking out her ass, the cheeky colt.
>A smile on her face and a strut in her step, she puffs out her fluff as she walks over to him.
"Hi Anon, i heard you and shiny had a fun night together!"
>Expression unreadable, the human looks past her towards the stallion currently trying to touch the back of his head through his muzzle.
>"You have three seconds."
>Cadance cocks her head in confusion.
"Three seconds for wha-"
>Fwoom.
"!"
>Eyes crossed, the pink princess can only stare at the clenched fist inches away from her, stopped only by a thin, hastily erected barrier.
>"You may have your looks, your status, your empire and your husband."
>Crck
>A small crack appears on the second impact.
>"But those two mares you disparage so much have something that you will never have."
>Anon leans in close, their faces practically touching if not for the barrier.
>"My heart."
>"I love those two mares with every fibre of my being, i love their smiles, i love their laughs, i love their attitudes, i love their cooking, i love their hugs, I. Love. Them."
>Jabbing a finger at the cracked barrier to punctuate his words, he finishes with the same passion that drew him to her in the first place.
>"I. Dont. Love. You."
>The shield shatters, much like her heart.

>>30478080
>that drew him to her in the first place.
*That drew her to him.
Fuck.

>>30477703
>>30477821
Agreed. He wouldn't leave his mares. He'd add to the herd.

>>30478080
>not joining candyass and shiny in herd
Fucking autistic degenerate.

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>>30477969
>"Yes, Anon? I'm listening."
"Look, I uh...I have this, sorta, condition. A strange desire that haunts my every waking moment."
>"Don't be so harsh on yourself. Most stallions have desires, some like shopping, holding foals, and--"
"No, you don't understand. It is a /hunger/, clawing away at my heart, clouding my head with strange thoughts, and sometimes I just can't think of anything else. That's why I don't go to every party, Twilight. I can't give in to the monster inside."
>Twiggles blushes furiously
>This could be just like those dirty Daring Do fanfics Dash wrote, about those insatiable stallions of the jungle.
>"W-what is it? What do you...desire?"
>You lean in to whisper into her ear.
>She is paralyzed in fear, excitement, and arousal.
"It's hoof-holding with someone who reciprocates my love."
>"I...I don't know what to say, Anon. That's...that's..."

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>>30478078
I actually think it's pretty easy for pones to fall into the trap of assuming things. Especially since Anon speaks the same language and probably has a familiar accent. For instance, she could understand your species being monogamist, but might not fully realize that polygamy is seen as weird or in some cases undesirable.

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>>30477969
>Show her a diagram displaying correlation of being a chubby purple alicorn and being a huge nerd that will die a virgin
>Dismiss her claims that it's not "statistically relevant" by stating that it tested 100% of the population.
>Next day Rarity is distraught by finding that all the ice cream in Ponyville has been sold out to a "royal budget"

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>>30478221
>Leaving a happy relationship because another mare puffed her fluff and intimidated your special someponies.

>>30477577
Luna.

Moony wants cuddles too you know.

>>30477313
I wouldn't mind seeing drone green at all, as long as it's RGRE of course.

>>30477637
It all ends when the Royal Guard find them, and Anon makes a ton of Koolaid (Anon doesn't just drink the Koolaid, he goes back for seconds).

Actually combine the ideas of >>30477703 and >>30477760 and Anon's and his girls would be a "sub-herd' and everypony is happy.

>>30477821
>>30477760
Jesus, so edgy. Why not just

"Cadence?"
>"Y-yes, Anon?" The Alicorn smiles, her extremely fluffy chest tuft flowing in the breeze
"Yeah, so. I've been dating horses long enough to ask them about their social norms and body language, so I think ... you're trying to flirt with me?"
>She smirks. "Well well, I'm glad to see it's finally wo-"
"Yeah, no. I appreciate the interest - it's flattering, really - but I'm happy with my girls. Besides, in my culture, once you decide to marry someone you don't just... like, abandon them. At least not without a messy and hilarious divorce fight that scars your children for life."
>"O-oh." The alicorn's smile disappears, her forehoof smoothing down her chesttuft. "I had no idea - I'm sorry."
"It's alright. Nine times out of ten you can solve most problems by just talking it out instead of assuming shit, or going edgy and getting violent."
>"Getting violent? What the hay?!"
"I know. It's summer, when bad prompts reign and edgy anger is the only answer to every problem"
>"Huh. Glad nopony's gonna write those prompts!"
"Hahahahaha- I'm the only one who's supposed to be self aware, Cant'dance."
>"Ah shit. I need to read my contract closer."
"Salright."

IDK. If the conflict can be solved by literally 5 minutes of talking, it's not really a good one to write about.

>>30478646
In that case, Anon with Flitter and Cloudchaser would be pretty much subordinate to the main herd, which would allow Cadence to directly or indirectly fuck them over.

>>30477703
>>It's composed of Celestia, Luna, Cadence and her husband, and Twilight post-Ascension.

Stallions cannot have blood relatives in their herds for incestuous deformity reasons.
Additionally, Cadence has made it EXTREMELY clear that she's keeping Shining all to herself (she moved to a thousand-years-behind-the-times empire specifically to escape the social backlash of royalty keeping a 9.5/10 stallion of noble birth all to herself).

Lastly, the stallion of the Diarchs would certainly have to maintain primary residence in Canterlot for numerous reasons (public, political, and almost certainly legal).

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>>30478685
Coo.

>>30478344
I would.

I want to cuddle with STRONK mare, not a bitch nigga weak ass

>>30477820
But Celly's not getting what she wants (to set a good example for her little ponies via a happy herd and more mares to share her stallion with).
Thus the whole "that'd be unforgivably selfish of you and you'd be hurting Celestia" part.

>>30478685
Now I wonder if anyone has tried a somewhat serious story where edgy anger blows up in Anon's face.

>>30478699
>Stallions cannot have blood relatives in their herds for incestuous deformity reasons.

That would be waived for Royal and Noble herds, almost certainly.

>>30477821
>>30478080
>>30478685
>>Anon has been dating Flitter and Cloudchaser for a few month
>he was dating 2 ponies already
>somehow he doesn't want 3rd one
What the actual fuck?

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>>30478685
>Complaining about random prompts.
Yeah they're a bit edgy but it's better than nothing, i wouldnt have written >>30478080 at all without it and i need the practice.

>If the conflict can be solved by literally 5 minutes of talking, it's not really a good one to write about.
They're actually more common than you think, 90% of interpersonal problems seem to stem from miscommunication or from either party being too stubborn to talk to the other.

>>30478699
I've always seen a herd as being a mix of a marriage and a family: so long as nothing incestuous happens between two related ponies, it's deemed acceptable.

Given that the Royals are all related in someway (officially or unofficially), they'd still be the dominant herd, no matter how spread out they all are.

>>30478773
The implication is that Cadence wanted him to leave the sisters for her and shiny.

>>30478699
>Stallions cannot have blood relatives in their herds for incestuous deformity reasons.
Its ok al long as the relatives dont intermingle with each other.

>>30478793
>The implication is that Cadence wanted him to leave the sisters for her and shiny
I didn't see it.

>>30478793
Prety OOC for the Princess of Love, IMHO.

>>30478807
Stated early in the original post
> and cleverly fend off any "herd poachers" after Anon.

And when Cadence arrives she is, and I quote.
>competing for Anon.
> trying to intimidate them in displays of dominance,

>>30478250
What makes a man turn monogamist ... Lust for gold? Power? Or was I just born with a heart full of monogamy?

>>30478892
>Zap appears in Equestria.
>His usual boasts and attempts actually work here.
>Soon drowning in thirsty mares.
>Now he has what he's always wanted, even if they were female horses.
>Is terrified and doesn't know what to do next.

>>30477195
It has neither the benefit of higher capacity like 9mm, nor the power of .45, and it has extra snappy recoil, at that. It's the worst of both worlds, and does nothing particularly well.

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>>30477969
Really made me think.

Monogamist mares are generally seen as greedy, confrontational, controlling, or pariah/bitches who don't have anyone to share their stallion with because they're so cunty.

Monogamist stallions are generally seen as emotionally immature ponies who are intimidated by the prospect of larger herds. While the former is more common, they're sometimes seen as excessively picky for self-absorbed, childish reasons. This is often speculated to be because they grew-up watching an abused father or a father whose opinions were drowned out by the majority of his wives. As a result, it's not an uncommon belief that monogamy is a fear of and a response to being oppressed by the majority.

Monogamist stallions are seen as victims. Monogamist mares are seen as selfish and controlling skanks preying on the insecurities of these victims for their own gratification.

It could look like your waifu is taking advantage of you or somehow imposing on you to stay monogamist (despite some part of you deep down longing for something "normal" and less lonely.) That's probably a viewpoint ponies would have, and so your waifu is more likely to catch flak from it than you are.

>Stallions are too afraid of the Mane 6 to consider herding with them.
>Even those after fame/money/beauty are too frightened, given the shit they often get involved with.
>Depression sets in.
>The only male not frightened of them, outside of family, is Anon.
>Anon, however, is not a horsefucker, and likes to actively avoid the Six.
>He ain't gonna be food for the "Villain of the Week".

>>30478968
>Monogamist stallions are generally seen as emotionally immature ponies who are intimidated by the prospect of larger herds.

Sounds like it could apply to Flutterdad a bit

>>30478736
>your supposition doesn't work if it doesn't work
Sure thing.

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>>30478968
>catch flak
Well good thing I didn't waifu no shitty plane pony then, the flak won't hurt her.

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>Muskets are typically used for hunting in Equestria, with lever-action taking the place of MILITARY-STYLE ASSAULT WEAPONS
>Anon's decision to purchase a repeater is met with scorn and derision from all sides
>Caramel calls him a gender traitor and asks why he supports foal murder
>Twilight tries to have his permit revoked, since colts can't be trusted with dangerous firearms
>The only pony who's even slightly cool with it is Big Mac
>He's a bro

>>30479107
>hunting

>>30479114
Hunting is probably the wrong word unless you're a griffon.

But somepony has to go out and cull the timberwovles and other dangerous critters.

>Anon is injured due to "Villain of the Week"
>Goes to horsepital, they gunna trank him
>Has to explain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSTx31dxmgA
>This he is just being whimsical cause stallion can't into science.

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>>30479160
>>30479107
>not using a flammenwerfer

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Anon showing ponies who's boss of the meadow

>>30479223
>Anon attempts to hunt timberwolves using Spike as a flamethrower
>Accidentally teleports half the Everfree forest into Celestia's throne room
Also, holy shit, have you seen the new captcha yet? How the fuck does it even work?

>>30479223
Wouldn't that just teleport everything it burns in front of Celestia? Or is that a special, magic flame?

...For that matter, how the heck does that even work?

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>>30479268
>tfw legacy captcha

I haven't, and I don't plan to. Especially ever since they started exclusively doing traffic signs and cars where over half the images are multiple or no cars.

>>30479277
meanwhile celestia stands in front of a lava pit, a huge shit eating grin on her face as her enemies appear in front of her for a split second before falling to their deaths

Celestia has the high ground

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>tfw nopony wants used goods like me

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>>30479381
>wanting used goods

>>30479268
I wouldn't know, I only use legacy.

>>30479381
Actually, what with herds being composed of one male and a bunch of females, and the general scarcity of males, "used goods" would have almost no meaning in relation to stallions.
> "So you are saying you once had sex with another mare? That's fine, Cloudchaser and I will take turns washing your dick with our marehoods. You'll forget all about that other mare who left you."

>>30478221
Stallions who herd together are cuckbait faggots.
>Shit tastes, the post.

>>30478751
Pre-Unification, sure.
After Celestia and Luna had been in charge for a century or so though, having half the noble colts out there be hideously deformed with faces only a mother could love, they would have put a hoof down HARD.
+1000 years later (probably closer to 1100 years), you get a society who's all studied how the incest monster colts of the ancient times were a blight on pony society and were forced not to have children by royal decree. And thankfully the noble houses agreed after seeing half the houses cut to a fifth their number a mere two generations ago thanks to a few generations of horribly mangled retard stallions passing on their deformity to dozens of children each, thus demolishing their noble houses, losing all their money/status, and falling into obscurity.

NO pony is oblivious or foolish enough to consider allowing the same tragedy befall their own bloodline, thus, it's been royally decreed as a banishing offense to commit heterosexual incest.

>>30479556
eeep~

>>30478800
Nah.
If ONE stallion is born deformed, he could pass that on to dozens if not hundreds of children in his lifetime.
Strict "no stallions with siblings" rules (IE, lifetime banishment from equestria and forfeiture of all belongings to the crown) would have to be put in place to avoid some creepy noble mare from fucking/raping her brother in their herd's home.

>>30478913
He'd probably be executed for crimes against Equinity by the end of the first fiscal year.
I can see the Equestrian news reports now:
>"Psychotic apelien colt burns orphanage with foals still inside!"
>"Human stallion 'Zap Brannigan' breaks into horsepital nursery, cooks infants alive, and eats them in front of traumatized new fathers!"

What is with the obsession with 'incest = deformed mutants' around here?

It took a long time and ridiculously tangled family trees for that to happen to the European nobility. And they didn't have the benefit of magical healthcare.

>>30479723
>around here

That's commonly believed almost everywhere, and the justification for not fugging your parents or siblings beyond it being weird.

>>30479107
I'd set about inventing self-contained ammunition.

Replacing the primer for an enchanted triggering impact-mechanism, and an enchanted casing designed to expand the air within (to about 800x volume at a rate of approximately +1250% starting volume per 0.4-0.35 nanoseconds) would allow me to create a re-enchantable replacement for smokeless powder and the primer. (Please note, these numbers are erring on the side of caution for a low powered firearm like a pistol. Later testing under safe, controlled conditions would allow for a wider range of weapons using this new ammunition).
This means reloading is as simple as re-enchantment and crimping in a new projectile. Additionally, this is an improvement to smokeless powder, as there would be virtually none of the powder residue or heat production created by modern firearms.

Patent the idea, and you've literally revolutionized Equestrian weaponry overnight, and made yourself one of the top ten richest beings in Equestria.

From there, you can hire the world's best weaponsmiths, introducing new concepts and methods for your company to reproduce modern assault firearms.

As for body armor, enchanting layered silks could approximate kevlar. Soak it in thinned oil/ceramic dust, let the oil thinning agent dry, and now you've got slash/stab/puncture resistant kevlar.

>>30479723
First generation inbreeding can lead to mental illnesses.

>>30478253
Can he just explain it to ponies like every other rational person?

>>30479723
>It took a long time and ridiculously tangled family trees for that to happen to the European nobility.
And Celestia's the one who makes the rules.
You know, the pony goddess who's ruled the land for long enough to witness these horrific deformities crop up, nearly stamp out equestrian society as they knew it, outlaw it, and warn future generations for the rest of eternity about how in a few short centuries she watched virtually all the families of her closest friends devolve into the horsey equivalent of Emperor Nero (burning entire villages of his own people just to sing and laugh at the screams).

So yeah.
Equestrians would be WELL versed in the "most horrific results possible from deformed incest mutants" by the time of Granny Smith's great great great great great great grandparents, let alone the modern equestrian era.

>>30479285
....wheres the undead horde?

Is Shuk still alive or did the propeller claim him?

>>30479867
Where the hell are you getting your weird headcanon from you autist?

Ponies have no use for firearms when they have death-lasers installed in their foreheads, huricane-makers in their backsies, and earth-shakers in their hoovsies.

No Plase for your /k/ommando fantasies in Equestria. You're gonna have to go to Griffonia for that.

>>30479723
common myth

>>30479723
Carlos the II of Hapsburg spain

the retard king

i think thats we were going with this

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>>30479804
Anon is vulture

>>30479947
This.

Though I do love the idea of Concealed Carry who is a unicorn skilled in enchantments and illusions. She is a gun smuggler taking guns from Griffonia to the Taur lands illegally across equestria Celestia banned the transport of them because she is NOFUN. Along with her sister CQC.

>CC and CQC are taking a load of griffon arms to the Taur lands
>Find Anon standing next to the road
>He is holding a shotgun and is naked save for a pair of socks
>In front of him are two dead manticores
>The sisters have never been so turned on in all their lives

>>30478743
The Magicless Anonymous general has a couple of those.

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>>30479859
Yeah, but that depends on a few things. Like

>Whether he had to explain this in the first place, because ponies would naturally want to know about the cool technology and dangerous stuff first.
>How much he explained about this aspect of human society. Simply saying humans are monogamist actually leaves a lot of blanks that ponies will naturally try to fill themselves.
>Important questions aren't considered on either side since they assume some aspects of sapient society are ubiquitous. In other words, a touch of arrogance that certain things speak for themselves.

It only gets silly if ponies keep insisting or make the same mistake after having it cleared up. On that note, very few stories really cover how ponies would study an apelien and his culture. I understand why though, having a dude stuck in some muggy Canterlot lecture hall —filled with sociologists and other academics for hours— on end isn't easy to make exciting. It's also more believable that Twilight wouldn't be as thorough as these academics since she's one pony who doesn't specialize in this stuff, I guess.

>>30479996
yeah, and that took multiple generations of extreme inbreeding to come about.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_II_of_Spain#Ancestry

>>30480293
If you wind up getting to that point, your DNA is a scrambled mess. Species that engage in polygamy often suffer incest issues.

>Anon applies to work at the horsepital
>Pones only have doctor rank for males
>This continues until one day, pinkie has a heart attack
>Anon is the only one who can perform CPR
>For saving pinkie, Anon becomes the first stallion to become a registered nurse
>Pretty much assigned to cases where the pone has %100 percent chance of dying
>Hijinks ensue when pones think anon is a quack for making them wash hooves before eating

>>30480056
Maybe we can summon NoF back to get him to write more "The Promised Land" if we post more about guns and these poners.
Miss u bby.

>>30480470
nof is kill

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>>30479268

Diplomacy when LaP?

>>30480564
Check the last thread.

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>>30480470
I never left bby. Moving into a new apartment has been eating all my time. I'll have something for the thread Soon™

>>30480568
DIPLOMACY
W H E N
L A P

>>30480589
>apartment
Might as well buy a fucking house with how retardedly expensive apartments are.

>>30480609
It's not really expensive when you split everything with a roommate and the apartment in question is in a trashy area.

>>30480609
Your actually better off renting then buying since it doesn't tie you down unlike a mortgage.

>>30480627
Living long term in an apartment is a terrible idea. Taxes on a house are less than monthly apartment payments.

Unless you live in Canada.

>>30480293
I'm sure the immortal sisters have been around long enough to see this shit happen, outlaw it, and remind pony society regularly that incest-spawn are horrific drooling abominations of stupidity.

>>30480625
>trashy area
Oh god why. What if some zigga tries to culturally enrich you?

>>30480634
my points against house ownership.

1. House mortgages essentially tie you down and leave you unable to seek employment in a different city while a rent can be done.
2. Your just trading an apartment manager for a bank which a bank which will not fix shit for you.

>>30480704
dont get a mortgage

>>30480734
Okay, fair point, but most people should talk to their financial advisor first before buying a home.

>>30480672
>How to die and possibly get raped in one easy step.
>Step 1: Break into a kommando's home.

>>30480734
Do you have any idea how much houses cost without getting a mortgage?

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>>30480672
Because it's cheap, and I'm not the one who needs to worry about being enriched. I'm off. See you all when I have something to post.

>>30480758
build it

>>30480672
Wouldn't a trashy area be better for not getting robbed? Since most crooks are going to want to go to a richer neighborhood to steal things since rich people tend to buy more stuff equals more things to fence.

>>30480634
I would really rather have my own house and would love to get one someday. I've had the fortunate circumstances of being able to affording the rent on my own and not having to share with a roommate, but I'd really like to have a nice house to call mine.

>Unless you live in Canada.
Fuck me I'm going to need to get established in my career first

>>30480758
Depends on the area you're trying to buy in.

>>30480779
Do you have any idea how much time and money that will take? Raw materials and labor alone to set up plumbing and building the house itself, not to mention electrical work you'd have to get done.

>>30480848
They're still not all that cheap, not to mention moving from an apartment where rent is kind of high to a place where property values are cheap enough to be able to buy a house would be a drastic change.

Assume you're moving out of a city and into a small town where you'd be able to buy a house that cheap, you'd go from somewhere where everything is easily accessible to somewhere where you'd have to drive for everything.

>>30480890
yes
my family built the house ive been living in for most of my life

and two other houses as well

> At Flurry Heart's cute-ceañera, she meets a strange minotaur bull accompanying one of the guests
> He is very charming, and has the best stories
> Flurry Heart ends up becoming friends with Anon, and grows quite fond of him in some undefined way
> One day, she sees him through a window, accepting some bits from a well-dressed mare
> At once, a myriad of strange events and subtle glances make sense
> The next day, as he sips tea in her parlor, she pulls out a bag of bits
"Anon, will you be my courtesan?"
> He nearly chokes on his tea
> "What gave you that idea, McFlurry?"
"Remember when Beautiful Hide gave you a bag of bits in the diamond room?"
> He chuckles weakly
> "So you saw that little exchange..."
"And she kissed you on the cheek, and it made me feel..."
> She blushes under his gaze, frowning
"I didn't like it."
> He sighs
> "Do you even know what courtesans do?"
> She blushes even harder
"M-make mares have foals, and kiss, and let the mare grab their butt."
> He chuckles
> "Fair enough. Now, let's see if you can afford me."
> He opens the bag and starts counting
> ...
> Flurry nibbles worriedly on a tea biscuit
> ...
> "One hundred ninety-three?"
> She looks down, unable to meet his gaze
"It's all I have."
> Anon ruffles her mane
> "It's not my usual,"
> She sags in her chair
> "But you get the friends discount, so it'll be enough."

> The next day, Anon retires from escorting
> Due to his connections at both Canterlot and the Crystal Empire, he becomes a courier, well known for his discretion
> And whenever he returns to the Crystal Empire, a certain filly is always ready with a bag of bits and a blush

>>30480952
>Anon's connection to the rulers of the crystal empire gets him all sorts of courier work sending and receiving packages to the frozen north
>As a result, Anon starts hanging around the Crystal Empire more often
>Despite his retirement, Flurry still wants to pretend that he still is one because it makes her feel like a grown-up mare
>He performs his "courtesan" duties with Flurry without fail
>Tea Parties, escorting her during birthdays, acting as a guide during her trips around Equestria since he's so well-travelled, and being her snuggle-buddy whenever she's feeling lonely or scared
>Some of the gossip rags accuse Flurry of reverse-grooming her own stallion, so candyass tries to set him up with one of the mares in her empire
>Anon nearly chokes on his food when she offhandedly calls him "Uncle Anon" at dinner

>>30479005
Not if he IS villain of the week.
>Anon attempts to start a colt/filly uprising by bribing them with cookies.
>Overthrow the adults!
>The age of eternal summer has come.
>spend some time with me, mom.

>>30480704
>a bank which will not fix shit for you.

Someone's never been to the ghetto, landlords don't generally fix shit in those areas.

>>30481336
Aww that's kinda cute

>>30477637
All that's missing is the ambiguously evil corporation using you and your people for experiments and your set.

>>30481665
>Anon accidently starts the pony version of KND.

>>30481846
oh fuck

my childhood

>>30479672
You do realize that it takes several generations of inbreeding for genetic deformities to arise, right? Also, equines are less likely to get said deformities, anyways.

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>>30481933
>your childhood
>my late adolescence

>>30482036
Man, I wonder what 2060 will be like. Probably endless war and radioactive cities.

>>30482036
Why not make it their childhood?
>Equestria does not have the television yet.
>Anon makes a picture box and goes to parks, telling the children stories.
>Happy stories, fun stories, sad stories.
This becomes their childhood.

>>30481728
Oh, so do you live in a ghetto then?

>>30482060
>not being a real nigga
shaking my head to be honest family

>>30480704
>Mortgage on a $250,000 house is the same as the rent for a 1 bedroom apartment where I live.
Fucking end me.

>>30480952
Literally https://www.fimfiction.net/story/185011/bits-love-and-propositions

>>30482060
I live in Eureka, I've walked past people shooting H on the sidewalk in broad daylight.

>>30480762
Damn that's pretty one. When did you get it?

>>30482056
Imagine all the genders society will finally become progressive and enlightened enough to recognize

>>30481846
Ow, my childhood/mid adolescence hurt for a second there. Thank god the SJWs didn't touch them yet.

>>30480762
>You actually have NOF engraved on your grip
Nice. Can't wait 'till I turn 21.

>>30479005
>Stallions are afraid of getting murdered/maimed by villain of the week, thus will not herd with mane 6.
>Anon is afraid of getting murdered/maimed by villain of the week, thus will not herd with mane 6.
Great. What now?

>>30480762
my what a lovely pistol

>>30482190
They release the Glimmy.

>>30482190
You don't understand, Anon is supposed to be a stick in mud. Who would want to read a fic where Anon is happy to be in a relationship with the mane six and join them on adventures?

>>30482101
Not quite. In that story, the filly is a poor orphan that wants to at least pretend to have a boyfriend. In the prompt, the filly finds out her friend is selling his body, and makes a pathetic bid to keep him from other mares. It's a different relationship dynamic.

>>30482222
Nice quads
Forgot about that. It's either RGRE(HFY) or not.

>>30482224
Well, yes. But overall it is very, very similar.

>>30482222
>>30482230
>Anon is eager to go on adventures with them.
>But he's a shitter who doesn't know his limits, and many of his attempts to help out backfire.
>He has to git gud with the help of (some of*) his herd and overcome his now infamous reputation as a bachelor in distress.
>*Some of the herd just want him to stay out of it entirely at this point.

Oh shit nearly forgot to do my threadly post.
RGRE is dead.

>>30482222
>Anon goes adventuring with his mares
>Villains always target him
>They assume he's weak and can't put up much of a fight if they do target him, he's only a stallion after all what threat could he pose?
>Even the male villains tend to assume that only they are special and other males are weak and stereotypical.
>He gets captured or KO'ed (or both) about as often as not, but Anon is a stubborn bastard and always puts up much more of a fight than the villain was expecting.
>Predictably, this pisses off his mares.
>Sometimes this is the desired effect by the villain (they tend to be the tricky ones with an ace up their sleeve)
>But more frequently it just backfires spectacularly.

>>30482107
I saw people smoke meth right in front of me at my place of work. We're in the same boat senpai.

>>30482107
Seen the same in San Francisco. They did so right in front of a church in broad daylight, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. For the love of God and all that is holy, someone please nuke us. I know you can do it Best Korea. Fucking do it, you fat fuckin' faggot.

>>30482331
What makes you think he browses mlp?

>>30482335
Look at him.

>>30482335
>Implying he doesn't

>>30482335
You know that fat fuck's a fan of GlimGlam.

>>30482331
It's the natural end progression of liberalism.

>>30482323
Guessing you live in a libshit hell too?

The sad thing is the trailer park I moved to a few months back is cleaner, more well kept and has less crime than any but the richest neighborhoods in the city.

>>30482359
>trailer park
grew up in a good one. it's a great place to raise kids, especially if most of the residents know each other. not a lot of opulence, but plenty of good values and community that the modern world is devoid of, even in the most populous of cities.
just avoid the ones with a shitskin infestation and you'll be good.

now, to bring this back on-topic, how would anon fare in a RGRE pony trailer park? how would poor ponies act in those? would it be like the stereotypical hollywood/TV drama?

>>30482397
If they existed, Scootaloo would live in a trailer park.

>>30482288
>>30482255
>Anon is the equivalent of a starting Monk class in old D&D.
>Ends the series being able to beat down gods and demon centaur dudes with his bare hands.
>....just needed the early level carry is all.

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>>30482446

>>30482498
More like that, but with the monk punching the explosion away OPM style.

>>30482101
I sincerely miss Hand-Made.

>>30482520
Saitama in equestria would be an intriguing concept, since his entire stchick is that he's so overpowered that he's losing his empathy.
Would be interesting to see how RGRE would react to him, especially if his constantly changing art style is a reflection of how he's currently percieved rather than just a stylistic choice.
>soft and slightly chubby when things are relaxed.
>hard and toned when things are even slightly serious.

>Anonymous The Human
>Discovery’s and writing by: Twilight Sparkle
>Published by: Twilight Sparkle
>Disclaimer: This book is not to insult Anonymous the human. It is not to imply that he is nothing but a animal. It is to advance knowledge of the human.
>It is a common misconception that humans eat only vegetation like a pony.
>But it is quite the contrary.
>The humans can eat a wide assortment of things that a pony cannot, such as but not limited to: Meat, potatoes, egg plants, tomatoes, onions, peppers, and cauliflower.
>While a lot of those may sound dangerous to a pony, to Anonymous they are just another thing on the menu.
>I know that the fact that humans eat meat may be frightening at first, but don’t fear.
>Humans don't put ponies, griffons, or minotaurs on the menu.
>In fact, our human is quite gentle with ponies.
>During a test Anonymous was left with three rambunctious fillies hyped up on sugar.
>The fillies pestered the human -a lot-, yet he showed no aggression.
>Instead, it found the nearest blankets, swaddled them, and laid them to bed.
>The test was continued.

>>30482805
>There was a pink earth pony, a rainbow maned pegasus, and a mint coated unicorn placed before him.
>Again he was pestered, and again no aggression.
>He swaddled the pegasus and earth pony, and allowed the unicorn to poke his hand.
>The test was conclusive.
>Not only was he not aggressive, but he was in a sense fatherly.
>After a quick check of his *Very clean*home my theory was correct.
>Humans are the perfect house colts.
>But there is one problem.
>There is only one, and he's mine.
>His pancakes?
>Mine.
>His cleaning?
>Mine.
>His HMD?
>Definitely mine.
>Yes, it is a very sad problem for every mare.
>Except for my herd and me.
>Because he belongs to my herd and me.
>The end.

>Be Moondancer.
>Never before have your teats been so twisted by a book.

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>>30482809
>During a test Anonymous was left with three rambunctious fillies hyped up on sugar.
>The fillies pestered the human -a lot-, yet he showed no aggression.
>Instead, it found the nearest blankets, swaddled them, and laid them to bed.

>Fillies hyped up on sugar
>Going to bed that easily.
I'm sure a bit more happened there that wasnt documented.

>>30482828
Probably three rambunctious fillies growling and barking angrily while flipping the fuck out yet can't excape the swaddle.

>>30482834
...sounds legit.

>>30482828
They call him magic hands
He played those kiddes like a fiddler

>>30480762
Nice, I can't tell but is that a ruger?

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>>30482950
Yep, definitely a Ruger 1911.

>>30480814
No they tend stay in or near areas they feel comfortable in. Rich ppl do burglarized but those guys are usually professionals or get caught rather quickly. The average fielding range anywhere from 3 to 7 miles from their own residents or an area they know well (around their mothers house)

>>30482805
>I know that the fact that humans eat meat may be frightening at first, but don’t fear.
>Humans don't put ponies, griffons, or minotaurs on the menu.
>In fact, our human is quite gentle with ponies.
>During a test Anonymous was left with three rambunctious fillies hyped up on sugar.
>The fillies pestered the human -a lot-, yet he showed no aggression

I'm just imagining this happen before they are sure he doesn't eat ponies

> Twilight stares at Rarity in disbelief
"You /what/!?"
> The marshmallow unicorn calmly sips her tea, and some ash falls from her golden toasted fur
> "Darling, either he eats them or he takes care of them. At this point, I am willing to accept either outcome."

>>30482963
I love me some ruger one of the best all around gun makers out there.

>>30482809
Lost my sides at the end.

>>30477815
If Luna is Jughead, then who's Archie? More importantly, who's that one black-haired asshole friend whose name I can't remember?

>>30477969
D'aww. How touching, if misguided. I'd give Twilight ear scratches for that. It's nice to see someone who cares enough to be concerned for you.

>>30482101
Good read, thank you for linking it.

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>>30480400
>"What do you mean, don't smear pus from a deathly ill patient all over the other patients?"
>"Wash our hooves with what? Soap? The stuff you use to wash towels and blankets? Anon, I know you're a stallion, but could you stop thinking about domestic chores for 5 minutes?"
>"Nurse Anon, thank Celestia you're here! My coffee mug is empty and I haven't seen you shake your flank at me in nearly an hour!"

>>30483898
..you know, there was an AiE story I never properly read about that, ponies not understanding medicine and average anon trying his damn best to help them understand.
it kind of went into some weird territory and I dont know how it ended.

>>30483923
You mean the one where Anon got all cut up by a surgeon and nearly died because Twilight thought he was evil or possessed or something after he suggested that you can use certain mould to develop a powerful antibiotic?

I'd prefer RGRE's more light hearted version better.

>>30482779
>Discord escapes
>Saitama tiredly punches him
>Discord parts everywhere
>Reforms without any injury
>Recreation of the ayyy fight at the end of the anime
>Discord reforms again, without injury
>Magics up some boxing gloves and does a shtick about how rude Saitama is
>All the chaos they're creating is fun for Discord as he just plays around with Saitama
>Physical injuries don't take while he has magic
>Saitama has never been happier in his entire life

>>30483974
yeah, that one. like I said, it went weird.

>>30484111
>not reading the manga
>not knowing about saitama's unbreakable will
>not knowing the power someone's will has on magic
the only reason he wouldn't disperse discord's essence is because he knows it would cause problems for the rest of the planet.

>>30484224
Saitama once threatened to destroy the planet because some kids were making to much noise outside his house, I doubt he'd give a fuck about the planet.

>>30484224
I read the manga, that will bullshit was bullshit. So I ignored it.

>>30483469
I would pork a teenage Diamond Tiara so hard. Silver Spoon too

>>30484160
It was comparing their medical system to back when we still practiced humorism and humorism is fucking insane. It going off the rails like that actually fit the bill because did they did just do random shit to "balance the humors". We used to poke holes into people's skulls to let out demons and increase brain power.

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>>30484251
>i will ignore canon because i don't like it
>you'd better not talk about it either, since anything i don't like about the canon is bullshit
>my headcanon is superior to the artist's/author's

I hope PoppedAnons story doesnt go the way of Ancestor Anonymous. All the best new stories seem to die when there getting good

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>>30484369
Isn't that what this entire fucking thread is about?
>plenty of males in the show after S2
>nah 4 to 1

>married couples everywhere
>fuck that, herds

>Only Rarity has shown even a passing interest in the opposite sex
>Bullshit all mares want the HMD

We ignore what we hate and magnify what we like. Don't get pissy because I did the same with your favorite mango.

>>30482809
>>Never before have your teats been so twisted by a book.
kek

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Hey, does anyone remember crazy Sci Twi? Me either, but I'm gonna do some either way

>>30484458
Alright. I probably won't remember what's happening but I'll still read it.

>>30484458
>All was not well in Ponyville.
>At first, it had started off as a whisper of discontent between a stallion and his wife. This whisper turned into an angry discussion between a group of ponies in one of the local taverns. That discussion did not end in that tavern, but spread throughout town, growing and becoming angrier and more hostile with each pony drawn into it.
>Ponyville’s citizens were furious. Many of them were hardworking and honest folk. Most had never raised a hoof in anger, and not a one had ever wished harm upon another, other than an occasional desire to slap their fellow pony on the back of their head. But today that all would change.
>No matter how calm or pleasant the creature, there was only so much that one could take before they snapped. For the townsfolk, this line had been crossed quite purposefully, and crossed many times. The first few times they had bared it, as kind, understanding creatures were known to do, but they had had enough.
>As the ponies of Ponyville grew angrier and angrier, weapons were gathered. Pitchforks, axes, mops and brooms with their ends carved into points. If one looked very carefully, they might have also seen pots, pans, cooking utensils, and even the odd spear or two.
>Torches were found and lit. While such light would have looked wonderfully menacing dancing off the buildings with the ponies’ shadows, the citizens of Ponyville weren’t well versed in these sort of things and the theatricality of it all, so this affair was done right around lunch time. A group of nearly two hundred mares and stallions marched down the main street of Ponyville. On each of their faces was a mask of grim determination.
>For too long they had suffered atrocities, indignities, and shenanigans of one mare. Now was the time to show that they weren’t going to take it anymore!
>They were going to drive her out, send her elsewhere so that she could torment somepony else, or perhaps destroy her if they could!

>>30484462
>All too soon the citizens of Ponyville came upon the towering crystal castle in the exact center of town. Before the castle had sprouted out of the ground, the center of town [i]had[/i] been the mayor’s office—or the fountain in front of the mayor’s office if you wished to be a stickler for geographic location— but, because of their tormentors insistent jabbering at the town council meetings every month for the past seven months, as well as a rather unfortunate amount of damage at last year’s Big Bunny Bonanza, the castle had taken the title. It was another crime that the ponies of this community were going to make her pay for dearly.
>Like a wave the citizens of Ponyville descended upon the castle, their pitchforks, brooms, and pans at the ready. When they neared the castle’s doors there had been some debate whether to knock them down—since one stallion at least knew to do that much—but when the front door was found to be unlocked, the door was simply opened. Clamoring and shouting angrily, the mob entered the castle’s lobby.
>“Let’s get her!”
>“Find her!”
>“We’ll burn this place to the ground!”
>“Down with the tyrant! Down with her experiments!”
>“Yeah! And her mane’s dumb too! So are her wings!”
>The crowd might have swarmed throughout the castle, destroying everything they could as they went, if not for someone clearing their throat. While such a noise should have been drowned out by all of the talking, shouting, and vows of vengeance that were echoing off the castle’s crystal interior, this clearing of the throat was so professional, serious, and business-like that it rose above it all so that it reached the mob’s many ears.
>Ponies stopped shaking their pitchforks and torches to look at the far end of the lobby. There, sitting at a secretary’s desk with his feet propped up and an open magazine in his hands, was Anonymous.

>>30484471
>The human was looking at the mob over the top of his magazine with bored, half-lidded eyes, noisily chewing on an overly large wad of bubblegum. He blew a giant bubble, popping it with his tongue before expertly navigating the gum back into his mouth.
“Can I help you all?” he asked.
>A collective sigh escaped the crowd. Many looked at each other, their righteous fury cooling into uncertainty. They had been expecting the castle’s occupants to be hidden in some dark room, conducting some horrible experiment or casting some vile, evil spell. What they did not expect was to see someone so suddenly that looked so… normal.
>Some shuffled in place as they looked at him, some hid their weapons behind their backs when they saw the lone stallion. A few murmured apologies and excuses. One mare, however, pushed through the crowds, still angry as ever.
>“What the hay are you all doing?” she cried. “It’s that weird ape-stallion that the princess keeps!”
Anon frowned. “Hey, excuse you, she doesn’t [i]keep[/i] me,” he said, licking his thumb and turning a page in his magazine. “I can leave whenever I want. I’m not some kind of dog. Or Starlight.”
>“We need to get him too, stallion or not!” the mare continued, ignoring him.
>Confusion once again turned to anger as the crowd puffed up and readied their weapons.
>“Yeah! He’s always the one to help the princess with her experiments anyways!”
>“He stole one of my ribs while I was sleeping!”
>“He helped bring back my long-lost grandparents from a peaceful afterlife and put them in a lava lamp!”
>“I’m pretty sure that I saw him peeing in the town’s fountain after the Summer Celebration last year!”
>Confusion and uncertainty left the mob, and a wild, animalistic rage once again took over. Mare and stallion alike lowered their weapons and made their way toward Anon with an intent to harm.

>>30484474
>If Anon would have gotten up from his chair it would have been his ruin. If he would have shown any fear, or doubt, or any weakness at all the mob would have surged forward and no doubt have torn him limb from limb. But, for all of the mob’s aggression, the only thing they got was another giant bubble.
“Do any of you have an appointment?” the human asked, sitting up and scooching forward.
>The ponies’ advance was halted, their confusion returning.
>“…Excuse me?”
>Reaching into one of the drawers, Anon pulled out a small notebook. Dropping it into the table, he grabbed a small pair of glasses and placed them on the bridge of his nose. He then slapped his magazine into the drawer and closed it, looking at them expectantly.
“Do any of you have a eleven o’clock appointment with Ms. Sparkle?” he asked, opening up the notebook and leafing through it. “She’s running a bit late because her ten-thirty is taking her a little longer, but you’d wait around a little longer I’m sure she’d be able to get to you very soon.”
>Humming to himself, he looked down at the notebook. The mob watched as he leaned forward, a frown working its way onto his face.
“Huh… It doesn’t look like any of you have an appointment today,” he said, turning a page. “Or the day after, or the day after.”
>A stallion frowned. “We don’t need no appointment!” he shouted, waving his torch around. “We’re here to drive all of you outta town!”
“Yeah!” the crowd yelled.
Anon looked up from the notebook. “We don’t need [i]any[/i] appointment, Ernest Hemingway,” he said. “And yes you do.”
>“Oh yeah, says who?” the stallion demanded.

>>30484484
>Anon opened his mouth to reply, but suddenly closed it. Sighing, he looked around the room before motioning the mob to move closer. They did so, but cautiously, with their weapons pointed at the human.
“Look, if I had my way I’d let all of you go right in and burn this castle to the ground and murder us and whatever else you want to do, but there’s procedure,” he said, keeping his voice low. “Twilight’s a very busy mare after all. You think she can just up and deal with a mob whenever she feels like it?”
>He looked out into the crowd.
“Roseluck, how would you feel if I went into your shop and said that I needed a big bouquet for tomorrow?” he said, making a hand gesture toward the earth pony.
>Roseluck’s nose scrunched up. “We can’t do it like that,” she said. “All our bouquets need to be ordered in advance.”
“Exactly,” Anon said, slapping a hand onto his desk. “You need at least three days’ notice to get everything ready, right?”
>“Right.”
His gaze snapped toward a stallion. “And what about you, Dr. Hooves? Do your patients usually need to make an appointment before seeing you?”
>“Of course,” the doctor said with a flick of his mane.
“That’s exactly the same thing here,” Anon said, leaning back into his chair. “If you want to do something serious like this you need to make an appointment and we’ll pencil you in for a time that’s best for you.”
>The crowd looked at each other. Lowering their weapons, they began to quietly converse. As upset as they were, they were still polite folk to a T, and no matter how much they wanted to rampage through the castle, destroying whatever hellish creations they found, doing so would have been terribly rude.
>“Well… when’s the latest you can pencil us in then?” one mare asked.

>>30484490
“Let me see,” Anon murmured, looking back down at his notebook and leafing through it. “I know that Ms. Sparkle’s jam packed for this month, and she has that thing next month that’s gonna keep her busy for [i]weeks[/i]…”
>He clicked his tongue, flipping through page after page before suddenly stopping and looking up.
“I [i]think[/i] I can squeeze you in three months from today, say nine or ten?”
>“No, I can’t do that,” one stallion said. “I have a wedding that I need to help set up [i]all[/i] that month.”
Nodding, Anon leafed through a few more pages. “What about a couple days near Nightmare Night?”
>“That’d be aw—! No, wait, I have a thing that I need to do…”
>The mob talked amongst themselves for a minute or two, trying to decide what was the best day to come back to burn the residents of this castle alive. Unfortunately for many, their schedules just didn’t match up. Some ponies suggested that the whole town didn’t need to be here to destroy the princess and her lackeys, but others insisted that this was a team effort. The talks began to get heated, and it might have ended in a shouting match if Anon hadn’t stepped in.
“If you guys can’t figure out the best time right now, why don’t you all talk about it for a bit and come back later to see if we can work something out?” he suggested. “I have Ms. Sparkle’s schedule worked out for the next six months, and if you need longer than that I’d be happy to put you at the top of the list for the next one.”
>The crowd exchanged glances before nodding.
>“Yeah, that sounds good…”
>“I should go home to check my schedule anyway…”

>>30484495
>“We all can meet up at Sugarcube Corner and work this out…”
>Chatting amongst themselves, the mob turned away and made their way toward the front door, with a few mares and stallions apologizing to Anon for wasting his time, and promising that they’d be back as soon as they could. Anon just smiled and wished them all a happy day before dropping his notebook back into the drawer, grabbing his magazine, and kicking his feet back up onto the table.
>It wasn’t until all of the ponies had left and closed the door behind them that a purple head poked up from underneath the desk.
>“Are they gone?” Twilight asked.
“Yep, they’re gone,” Anon replied, blowing a bubble and popping it.
>Twilight smiled, peeking her head over the desk to see if, in fact, her would-be murderers had left the premises. Seeing that they were gone, she turned her attention back toward her assistant.
>“Do you really have my schedule worked out for the next six months?” she asked.
Anon snorted. “No. I don’t have a single day of your schedule scheduled. That was a coloring book I was looking through,” he said, turning the page in his magazine. “The fucking idiots.”

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>>30484501
Alright, I'm done. I might do a couple more chapters of this before letting it die for another five or six months

>>30484504
I'm going to think that twilight was giving anon a bj under that desk and you can't stop me.

Anyway, good shit lap.

>>30484504
That was both stupid and silly.

>>30484504
>"I'm not some dog. Or Starlight."

Kek.

>>30484504
I like thing very much so.

>>30483731
Reggie?

>>30484504
I liked this, much better than that diplomacy bullshit.

>>30484504
TFW He wrote it for FiM.

>>30482999
Trips took the words right out of my brain.

>>30484535
Story headcanon accepted.

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>>30484417
>the existence of this thread and other alternate universes justifies my autism

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>>30484474
>“He stole one of my ribs while I was sleeping!”

>>30484417
>Only Rarity has shown even a passing interest in the opposite sex
>Bullshit all mares want the HMD

Well, there's >no hooves Flash. Twilight is basically the one confirmed pony to want it, funnily enough.

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>>30485095
>I don't like thing and it would make my story unfun so I won't include it
>You hate thing and you don't want anyone to like thing

You've been putting words in my mouth, if you want to write something more like OPM and have every big bad be instantly defeated go ahead.
I want the story to be more like MLP and have all involved end up happy.
Both ideas are alternate universes since OPM doesn't have ponies and vice versa.
I honestly don't get why you have a problem with it. It was just a prompt.

>>30484458
Why don't you leave pastebin links before or after update?

>>30485113
I have honestly not watched a single eqg movie and all I know about it are from green that I skim through.

Heads up, I'm gonna post a thing in sec.

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Some of you may know that I mentioned a little while back that I'd be posting Aftershock in bite-sized pieces. Some of you may ALSO know that everything I say is a lie. Nothing tomorrow, but I have one really long scene and one tiny one. Enjoy.

>>30485227
>”The Princess is…” she begins, and a moment later she slams the letter down on the table, staring into it in shock.
>”The Princess is coming HERE!?”

<>

“Are you CERTAIN?”
>You’re beyond walking at this point, wings hiked up at your sides as you adroitly skip down the stairs, your hooves only gracing the stone as you descend.
>The non-winged gold and white guards have fallen far behind, but the two pegasi who’d been accompanying you the entire way float along with you as you leave the rest behind.
>”Y-Yes, princess,” the female pegasus replies, clearly on edge, “We came down as SOON as we heard, but by then damage had already…”
>She trails off there and so you leave it at that, filling in the blanks as you and they race further down the narrow underground hall.
>Your wings stretch out further as you blast into the lower room, turning several heads as the three of you careen inside and make yourselves known.
>”P-Princess! We-We—“ an earth pony guard at your immediate left begins before you silence her with a flap of you wings.
“Any sign? Anything? Are you in pursuit!?”
>”N-I, uhh, I don’t…we’ve been down here since – I mean…”
>The little guard swivels her head about to signal her meaning, and though you aren’t too happy with the lack of intel, you nonetheless nod in understanding as you follow her gaze around the room.
>It’s a mess.
>Many of the once orderly, if dirty, stone slabs that made up the left side wall have been completely liberated from it, scattered about on the ground in all directions.
>With them are the remains of torches and several metal torch studs and couplers, the reason for the spotty lighting that now dominated the dungeon becoming clear.

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>>30485134
>complaining that OPM is OP
you've entirely missed the point of that story, but considering how stupid your previous posts have been, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

>>30485264
>You spot one metal torch-bearer nearby, still hanging by a thread from the wall, its oil-sodden plank missing and likely in pieces.
>There’s a smudge of drying crimson on an edged portion of it, probably from where an unsuspecting pony had been slammed into the metal by force.
>You can only grimace at the destruction as you pace further inside, your shoes clattering against and around various pieces of rubble.
“The witnesses? Are any of them still here?” you ask.
>The earth pony mare shakes her head, shooting you and the other guardsmares a glum look as you pass them.
>”They’re all in the infirmary, ma’am…” she whispers.
>An icy feeling chills your chest as she says the words, the breath you take freezing your lungs from the fear.
“Has anypony…?” you venture carefully.
>”No, no princess,” the guardsmare answers immediately, shaking her head.
>You turn your eyes to find hers, noticing the flicker of apprehension as she speaks the words she probably thought, what with the relative peace and calm in the castle as of late, that she might never need to say.
>“Nopony has… all are alive and accounted for, at least to this unit’s knowledge, ma’am.”
>She finishes her sentence right as the two off you cross in front of the final cell at the end of the hall.
>The cell door you’d made yourself thuggishly familiar with hours before now lay in a crumbled mess under your hooves.
>You can only scowl into the empty cage that once kept your prisoner and only lead, the only trace of her left within being the pile of clothes still bunched into the corner.
>You turn in place and look back down the hall from where you came, standing where she must have stood where the havoc began.
>Neither you nor your sister, with all the power you commanded, were capable of teleporting in or out of this room.
>The gobbling stones, many of which were now scattered on the ground, cut this room off from the rest of the world like a saw, dividing it magically.

>>30485268
>Any attempt to go beyond would just slam you into wall at best, and at worst, if somepony happened to be up against that wall…
>You frown, kneeling slightly to examine the faint remains of singed blue fur on the ground between the particles of stone dust, the enchantment that once kept them a uniform white color having long died with their liberation from the pony they belonged to.
>You look again back down the hall, noticing the deep divots and dents in the walls and the cells beyond from savagely heavy impacts.
>Ponies couldn’t teleport in or out, but not all magic was restricted.
>It couldn’t be, not for the safety of your unicorn officers.
>For all the good it did them…
>A violent scene begins to play out in your mind’s eye.
>The fidgety and alert guards that now wander around you in the dungeons are brushed aside to make room for the more calm, orderly ones that used to be here.
>Their backs are planted firmly against the now shattered wall opposing the metal bars, seasoned and ready but nonetheless caught off guard when Starlight flashes out of her cell, magic restored, and bashes into the wall.
>You stand back to your full height, the sound around you drowned out by your whirring brain as you peer back down at the scant blue hairs on the floor.
>Her failed teleport downs the blue guardsmare.
>Starlight is… confused, in pain, disoriented.
>The ghostly image of a dark pink unicorn with a lavender mane manifest before you, staggering in place as the other guards realize what has happened.
>She gathers her senses quick; she has to if she wants to escape.
>She’s desperate, dazed, maybe even unhinged.
>Nothing sophisticated.
>She sticks to offensive fields and telekinesis.
>Your eyes examine the closest and arguably smallest lash in the wall.
>The manifestation’s horn lights to dispatch the partner of the blue mare she just downed with her leap, then turns to…

>>30485273
>Your narrowed eyes fall on the most massive crater in the stone ahead, and you can actually make out flecks of golden paint within it from where the guardsmares skimmed off of the wall from the impact.
>No retaliation from the soldiers yet?
>No, they had to’ve…
>You rotate fully in place to examine the dead end of the hall behind you, spotting what appears to be a wide dark splotch where fire had seemingly bitten into the rock and seared it black.
>Theres no outline in it, no ridge from a target, the mark on the wall is almost perfectly round.
>They missed.
>You turn back around just in time to see the mental image of Starlight Glimmer whip her head forward and down the final two mares, the wide impact mark still present in the ground from where she shattered it with the raw blunt force of her telekinetic field.
>It is only now that you begin to acknowledge your prisoner’s magical proficiency, thinking even farther back to the time when she nearly outran your sister with consistent and far-stretching teleportation.
>That’s not even mentioning the attack she managed to mount directly afterwards toward that very same alicorn, failure as it was.
>She could probably give Twilight a run for her money if she really had to.
>Still, there are some signs of sloppiness.
>The shoe of your rear back hoof is still set down at an angle, perched atop a metal bar from the cell door that Starlight smashed completely off its hinges to free herself.
>A pointless endeavor if it was her doing.
>After all, she teleported only a moment afterward.
>Why destroy the door if she thought she could just teleport out?
>Was it really her doing, or did one of the guards…?
>You tilt your head to peer down at the cell door under your hooves.
>You instantly spot another clue, one that forces your entire thought process to a screeching halt.

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>>30485280
>It was a small thing that you almost missed amidst the other ruble and wreck, but now that you were practically on top of it, it was almost impossible to miss.
>Even if you wish you did miss it.
>On the ground, in between the bars and smothered under a wide slab of rock, is what appears to be a mangled scroll of paper and a snapped quill.
>The wooden bar that kept the roll intact had broken cleanly in two, but the paper hanging from it was almost completely unraveled, like it had been in use right up until all of this started.
>Because it had been.
>The pony using it didn’t even see it coming.
>You thought you were standing where Glimmer stood when she first cleared the door, but that was wrong.
>Somepony else was standing here.
>The cold dread sinking your stomach begins to mount as you step away to make room for a second, new apparition to take your place, the sequence of events in your mind reversing to the very start.
>A lithe yellow unicorn with small white curls and a hefty set of glasses now stands where you just stood, scribbling away on her scroll.
>You told her to come here, and she had.
>The ghostly form of Eggnog Cream smiles in a gentle manner as she jots out the rest of Starlight’s testimony and further requests for representation, her horn still enveloped in a soft, dandelion-colored light as she scribbles away.
>The phantom unicorn turns away from the bars and smiles kindly at you…
>Just as the other phantom unicorn in your mental retelling, Starlight Glimmer, still trapped, snarls and flashes her horn.
>You almost flinch when the pieces snap together, and so too does the door to Starlight’s cell snap off of what remains of its hinges and slam into your unsuspecting assistant, dashing her hard against the wall and forming the thin, almost unnoticeable crack in the rock you were now observing with growing fear.
>Starlight’s first attack was not levied in the midst of confusion or fear.

>>30485291
>It was deliberate, precise, and strong enough to rip her cell door right out of the wall from the force, and whatever force hadn’t hit the bars had gone directly for something else.
>Something much softer than steel.
>Something that wasn’t wearing armor to protect them from the impact.
>Your heart throbs painfully the longer you linger in your imagination, watching as the crumpled, phantom form of Miss Cream continues to lie still on the ground with the ruble, unmoving.
>Not a word leaves your mouth as you trot away from scene of the destruction and back toward the stairs, not even as the guards call out for you.
>Your wings spring from your sides and fold in halfway as you clear the arch and begin your swift ascent back up toward the first floor, skipping hoofulls of steps at a time as you glide back toward civilization, toward the infirmary.
>Toward where you suspect Eggnog is.
>Toward where you HOPE she STILL is.
>You thrash your head back and forth to shake loose the well-intentioned voices within that were now advising your to prepare for what you might see when you get there, ignoring them as best you can as you sail through the splintered and bent remains of the wooden door that once marked the entrance to the place you now wanted nothing more than to escape from.
>Several more guards are there to meet you at the top, the small group scattering apart to make room for you as you step between them and return to the fire-lit evening hallway.
>”Your majesty!” the lone sergeant amongst them greets, snapping her right hoof to her helm.
>“Most of 1st through 17th is hot on her trail – damn near ALL the on-site girls we got! She won’t get away, ma’am!”
>You twist your head around and face toward the medical wing, her words registering only faintly in your mind as the tiny fires of life begin to spring up in your path.
>Too dense.

>>30485296
>The little lights moving about within and around medical are closely-knit and manic like buzzing bees, half of which hang around while other seemingly spring from place to place at random.
>You’ll need to travel farther out.
>Now that you’re searching for alternate places to port, you can’t help but notice the movement in the rest of the castle as well.
>Anypony or non-pony who wasn’t huddled up in a room trying to ride out the end of their evening through the chaos of the escape were bunched into small groups and rushing in straight lines from one place to the next, each one travelling in unspecific directions as they desperately searched.
>Your sister is among one such group at the far end of the castle on the fourth floor, her roaring aura of magical influence practically blotting out the others entirely with how it dwarfs them.
>You can only venture a guess as to why you can see them next to hers at all before all of them suddenly blink out of existence and pop back into it on the floor just above where they used to be; a unicorn specialist squad.
>Just from what you could see, your sergeant’s estimation of participation amongst the troops in the search for your one-time prisoner were probably spot on.
>In vain, you fear.
>As you single out a spot to leap to in the mess of movement, you can only seem to remember the ruthless power and talent that Starlight Glimmer demonstrated before and after her capture.
>She was a genius magician.
>If she managed to break through the door to your left before anypony else managed to catch on to her escape – and your approximations of her skill are correct – she’s probably long gone by now.
>Smoke in the wind.
>You say nothing to your current troupe, leaving the assembled mares and their sergeant behind in the hall as the world drifts away.
>You had your doubts, but you certainly wouldn’t be telling them to give up.
>You aren’t about to lose that little menace on an assumption.

>>30485303
>As long as you have the excess of marepower, every speck of dust in this castle will be examined until you and your ponies can confirm with absolute certainty that Starlight Glimmer isn’t hiding under one of them.
>Until then, there are equally dire measures that may require your attention.
>Snow-white parapets and long, ornate windows of a different shape and theme snap into your vision as you return to the physical plane from your teleport.
>You visibly startle a group passing through the end of the hall with your arrival, stopping them in place to look at you.
>With things the way that are, it’s probably impossible to be most anywhere in Canterlot castle whilst simultaneously being completely alone, even if it was starting to get late.
>Before you now stand a gaggle of civilians, and at their head and rear are two guardsmares – one day squad, and unicorn, and one pegasus dusk guard.
>The unicorn instinctively snaps to attention as you set eyes on her, but the other stays a moment, her brow creasing.
>”Princess?” the voice of Grey Gables ventures, and her partner at the end of the group fires her an incredulous look.
>The PFC, noticing her out of turn behavior, slams her mouth shut and salutes like her partner, but you brush off the break in professionalism with a wave of your hoof.
”Report,” you command cooly, keeping to your brisk pace even as you speak the words.
>”Uhh,” Gables starts, an uncomfortable look crossing her face as she momentarily gazes at her group.
>”The situation is… being handled, ma’am,” she continues, clearly tailoring her response for the unofficial ears present.
>”Non-critical patients are being sent to the nurse’s station down the hall.”
>You try to ignore the way your stomach flips at the term ‘non-critical’, swallowing your apprehension as you turn toward the civilians of topic.

>>30485314
>While most seem unrelated, the majority of the group appear to be uniformed members of the Canterlot Day Players – several of which sport visible injuries, ALL of which are obviously, unignorably inebriated.
>You’re well over an alicorn’s wingspan away from any individual, but you can still easily make out the bitter scent of booze wafting about their group.
“Carry on,” you return as you pass them up.
>You cap your movement speed to a leisurely trot as you head on toward your destination so as not worry them, at least until you’re out of sight.
>Considering the state most of them were in though, it probably didn’t matter.
>Based on the lack of movement and the angry jut of the hoof the unicorn at the rear shoots your companion at the front, you have to assume the PFC looks after you for a while before returning to her duties.
>”Y-Yes! – uhh, ma’am! This way, please!”
>The guards angrily shush the loud, drunken responses of the musicians in your wake as you turn down an adjoining hall and continue toward the main hall.
>You frequently pass more groups on your way.
>Though occasionally they are composed of stragglers being escorted back to their rooms, the majority of them are entirely composed of stone-faced guardmares, all of whom offer you curt nods or salutes as you cross their path.
>Eventually, but not nearly soon enough, you spot a welcoming and familiar sight.
>Farther down the main hall and on your right, staring into a double-doored room that sits smack in the middle, are an ornate collection of window panes.
>Directly aligned with the double doors, robed in dark, multi-colored glass sections and backlit by the pale shape of the moon, is the visage of Gildheart the Gentle, the founder and most original head of the medical wing of Canterlot Castle.

>>30485325
>The fair stallion of yore stands watch over the entrance to Canterlot’s primary care center with his four brothers, each male a symbol for the care and dedication with which the damaged and downtrodden within were to be treated.
>As you near the care center, you can’t help but to turn and come before them, offering the quintet of stallions an emblematic bow of respect for their tireless service, hoping all at once that their posthumous supervision of the wounded beyond the archway extended to your dear friend.
>Wasting no more time, you turn back and enter, meaning to find that same friend as quickly as you could.
>In an instant you are overwhelmed by a dozen different but similarly stiff and sterile smells, not a single one of which is neutered by the over-average size of the room you now find yourself in.
>The light-brown tile beneath your hooves is utterly spotless, as if it had been precisely scoured with every disinfectant known to ponykind the moment before you’d arrived.
>And that was floor.
>The various metal cabinets, carts and hints of bed frame that you can see between the privacy curtains dividing up the room are in much the same shape, each article practically radiating its cleanliness to any would-be onlookers.
>A male earth pony physician of middling age with a bright orange coat slips through one of the fabric walls as you move farther inside, his eyes already focused in the direction of your hoofsteps as he emerges.
>”Princess… Celestia?” he says, surprised.
>The stallion lets out a slight huff of effort as he hoists a loose bundle of crisp white sheets up onto a rack with matching bedding to his left, struggling to keep the mess of fabric together enough so that it would tumble.
>”I-I wasn’t… is there something I can do for you?”
>His eyes become worried.
>”Oh no… you aren’t injured too, are you?”
>You quickly shake your head, absently lighting your horn to assist him with the unruly linens.

>>30485332
”No, no I’m fine. I’ve come to check on the others. What’s the situation?”
>A hint of a smile crosses the stallion’s face at your help before it falls away from the content of your question.
>”Broken bones,” he reports with a dearth of enthusiasm, “lots of broken bones. Not one of them got away without a hoofull of fractures. We’re still dealing with most of them now. Were they stuffed into a tin can and tossed off of a bridge or something?”
>You grimace, remembering the average size of the pockmarks bashed out of the walls below the castle.
“Something like that,” you reply.
>The stallion sighs and moves to flatten the rack of bedding up against the wall to his left, turning his back to you in the process.
>”They’re all tough-mares – big surprise, but they’re going to be feeling it in the morning. I doubt most of them will be cleared for proper duty for a good while. Regardless of what they SAY.”
>He turns back to you and runs a hoof along the back of his neck, a pitying look crossing his face.
>”The one in the back got the worst of it though; poor thing. I didn’t see much of her, but I saw enough to know she won’t be walking anytime soon.”
“Eggnog?” you follow up quickly, heart sinking at the diagnosis.
>The stallion turns and crosses to the other side of the room, nudging a rolling stool out of the way of his desk before snatching up a clipboard lying atop it.
>”Uhhh… yes? I believe so,” he returns after a moment of studying it, motioning with his head at the enclosed area behind him.
>“That’s what the jarheads called her, at least. She’s the one on the far right, right in the corne—”
“Is she – can I see her?” you interrupt, the shells of your ears stiffening with worry, “Is she alright?”
>An apprehensive look crosses the physician’s face, and he turns back to look at his clipboard for a moment.
>”I’m not sure if that’s, uhh…” he replies, slowly trailing off when he lifts his head and gets a look at your face.

>>30485342
>Your jaw tightens, and eventually his eyes drift off toward the rear end of the room contemplatively.
>After a few moments the stallion sets his clipboard back onto his desk and begins moving toward the opposite end of the ward.
>”I’ll check…” he says quietly, his somber tone revealing of your chances.
>His cocoa-colored tail vanishes behind the wall of white curtains which supposedly shielded your injured aid, and through the gap he makes you catch additional slips of color from the other ponies present inside.
>You plant your flank on the ground and try not to fidget, but squirm all the more for your attempt.
>Eventually you’re on your hooves again and pacing, trying not to let your mind stay on the specifics of why she might require so many doctors or attendings all at once.
>Whispers bubble up from the far side of the room, a conversation you can’t quite make out when you shift your ears toward it.
>The only word you can manage to parse is your own name, and after it is spoken the conversation dulls.
>That moment of silence ends when a familiar orange-coated physician peeks his head back through the curtains and motions for you to come closer.
>”You can see her now,” he says.
“I can come back,” you clarify hastily, worrying in place, “If she isn’t – uh, I can come back.”
>The stallion offers you a gentle smile and shakes his head.
>”It’s okay,” is all he says in return.
>You try to return his smile but fail, instead shooting him a look mixed between awkward and uneasy.
>The stallion motions at you again and your body jerks you forward mechanically, taking charge for your stalling brain before it can manage to wonder any more about whether or not it was a good idea to intrude.

>>30485350
>You catch glimpses of the other bedridden mares on your way, their coats breathing freely and unpainted while their enchanted armor lie stacked in heaps near their bedsides instead of around their bodies; you even match eyes with a blue mare adorned with singe-marks around her upper neck and withers.
>The stallion moves aside when you get close, giving you room to slip past him.
>As you enter, two other physicians – one male and female unicorn – quietly exit out of the other side, leaving you alone with the orange stallion and another cyan-colored pony, a female pegasus.
>And Eggnog.
>You approach the cot to examine the sleeping unicorn, taking care not to make undue noise.
>Her tidy grey vest and other matching articles have all been removed and – judging from the precisely sheared articles of fabric sitting nearby in an open drawer – were likely cut off of her to make room for the medical ponies’ examination without harming her further.
>She’s already been attentively covered with medical apparatus and bandages where applicable.
>Much of her hips and the entirety of her left back leg are braced and/or being wrapped in plaster to keep them from moving around.
>Her left foreleg has received similar treatment, but splinted instead of being molded into a cast, and securely held against her chest via long and numerous strips of linen.
>Her side over where her ribcage is has also been heavily bandaged, and linked up to the brace on her hip.
>Her glasses are gone, still smashed under something in the dungeons if you had to imagine.
>The eyes they once framed are closed and squinted just slightly with her brow, likely still tinged with distress and pain from her ordeal.
>You reach out to her, carefully, and place a gilded hoof gently against her unsplinted upper foreleg, stroking gently until you start to notice her face smooth.
“Has she been out this entire time?” you whisper, turning toward the cyan mare.

>>30485357
>”In and out since she got here. That was about six minutes ago, but nopony seems to be sure precisely when she and the others were injured. It’s possible she’s been like this for a lot longer than that,” she replies.
>”I’m going to give her a sedative in a moment, right when – ah, here,” she pauses, turning to regard one of the exiting ponies from before and take the small tin box they offered her through the curtains.
>She sets the container down on the desk drawer to the left of the cot and flips it open to reveal a multitude of thin prickers and a glass bottle fastened into the case.
“She’s going to be alright, isn’t she?” you say as you turn back to her, wanting some sort of confirmation more than anything.
>The doctor graces you with a reassuring smile around the plunger in her mouth as she pulls back on it, drawing clear liquid into the case of the syringe.
>”Barring several severe, unforeseen, and unlikely scenarios,” she words carefully, “yes.”
>A shaky sigh leaves your chest at her testimony, the tension that had been building in your withers slacking significantly.
”Thank goodness,” you whisper.
>The doctor skirts around the foot of Eggnog’s bed, passes between it and the orange stallion, and quietly begs your pardon as she does the same with you.
>You move back and let her do her work, the tip of the needle sinking into your assistant’s unsplinted foreleg and retreating just as quickly under the soft press of a thick square of bandage.
>”Would you like to hold this for me?” she asks you with a smile, pausing the orange stallion at your side and drawing attention to the fabric under her hoof.
>You return the look and slide around her, replacing her hoof on your friends arm as she retreats to fetch a bandage.
>You can feel the soft strum of yellow unicorn’s heartbeat through the pressure you apply.
>”It’s going to be fine,” the cyan mare continues, “we can’t work miracles, but some broken bones shouldn’t prove too challenging to—“

>>30485361
>”C-Celest… Cel—“
>You feel the arm under your hoof shift, threatening to slip out of your hold and uncap the bandage.
>”No no no,” the orange stallion says with some alarm as he moves toward the cot, “you have to stay down, sweetie. Lie down.”
>Eggnog continues to stir, her eyes now open and squinting at the world around her in mild distress.
>”Celestia – ma’am, is it… you?” she murmurs just as hooves from three different ponies, including yours, come to rest on her chest just above her splint and lower her back down into the bed.
“It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re in the infirmary, you’re fine,” you assure her quickly, doing your best to contain your anxiety for her sake, “everything’s fine.”
>”I-I can’t… why can’t I…?” she mumbles, narrowing her eyes even further in your direction.
>“My… glasses…”
>”I’m sorry sweetheart, you didn’t come in with them. You’re going to have to go without for a little while, okay?” the orange stallion replies as he slips around your back, moving to assist the doctor in bandaging her arm before things got messy.
>Your assistant frowns and blinks her eyes several times, peering up at the attending before tracing her eyes across the room to observe it in vain.
>Once the cloth is securely fastened the three of you step back slightly to give the unicorn some air, you staying by her side while the physicians slid around to the opposite side.
>”We just sedated you,” the doctor mare says, annunciating slowly, “If you feel a little off, that’s normal. Are you in any pain? Your legs? Your side?”
>Eggnog scrunches her face.
>”Y-… yes…” she grinds out with some difficulty.
>”What we just gave you should be kicking in any second now, Miss Cream,” the mare replies, ”Do you feel pain anywhere else? Any pressure or numbness anywhere?”
>The unicorn ponders that question for a moment, her eyes slowly screwing shut as she thinks.
>”My he-ad… hurts…” she announces sluggishly.
>You notice the two physicians exchange an uneasy look.

>>30485365
>”Your… head?” the doctor reaffirms, approaching the upper portion of the unicorn’s cot.
>Eggnog nods slowly.
>The doctor reaches out and places the edge of her hooves gently on either side of Eggnog’s face, rolling her head gently to the side.
>”I need you to look to the side for me, ma’am,” the doctor says softly, “little more; there you go.”
>The cyan pegasus examines her as you look on with worry, occasionally brushing a bundle of her flattened curls aside to get a better look at her scalp.
>”No swelling… no laceration. Practically the only thing you DIDN’T break. I’m not… can you tell me where it is your head hurts, specifically?”
>”Everywheeere…” Eggnog grumbles, losing patience.
>”Everywhere?” the doctor replies as she gently rolls her head back into position.
>She looks troubled for a moment, but soon a knowing look begins to spread across her face.
>”Does your head hurt because you have a headache? Is that what it is?” she asks.
>Eggnog thinks on this too, taking several deep breaths while she gathers her thoughts.
>”… yeees,” she whines after a while.
>You take a breath of relief that is shared amongst the physicians, your face morphing back into a smile as you peer down at your bedded assistant.
>”Today just isn’t your day, Miss Cream,” the doctor remarks sheepishly, snapping the syringe box on her desk shut.
>”We’ll run a few more tests just to make sure, in the meantime…”
>The cyan mare then turns to you and motions with her head at your aid.
>”She should have another minute. If you want to talk you can, but after that – Princess or not – I’ll have to insist that you leave her be…”
“I understand, doctor,” you answer earnestly, “I won’t stay much longer. I just wanted to make sure that she… well, just wanted to make sure.”
>The doctor nods and spares a look at the orange stallion, motioning for him to step out with her.
>”If you ladies need anything, we’re never far away,” the male comments kindly, “Just shout and I’ll be here.”

>>30485372
>You hum in acknowledgement, and with that the two remaining physicians slip outside the wall of curtains and out of sight, leaving the two of you alone.
>You turn back toward the wounded mare, taking a seat near her cot where you could look over her.
“If you don’t want to talk, I understand,” you say softly, “but we’re running a little low on information and time.”
>Eggnog blinks her eyes and grunts roughly in reply, but otherwise offers no explicit go-ahead or refrain.
>You want to wait for one of them to occur, but as time passes on and her droopy eyes slowly drift toward you, you decide that what you have is enough to continue.
“Do you remember anything about what happened before Starlight Glimmer broke free?” you ask, leaning in so that you might safely drop your volume.
”Do you know how she broke out of her binding crown?”
>Eggnog sighs and blinks her eyes again, clearly fighting to stay awake.
>”Can’t… remember,” she murmurs.
>”Was on… then off. Didn’t see… don’t know… how.”
>You frown, your hopes that she might be able to shed some light on your holes in security diminished somewhat.
>Eggnog’s eyes have drifted shut, and for a moment you take her as sleeping, but she stirs and begins to speak again, her voice loopy and miles away.
>”She… hit me. Why would she just… hit me… I thought… I thought we were…” she mumbles, almost sorrowful.
“She’s… Starlight is a troubled mare,” you reason, casting her a sorrowful look of your own.
“I should never have let you go down there with her. I put you in danger.”
>You shake your head and scowl down at your hooves.
”It was stupid of me… a stupid mistake. You didn’t belong down there,” you admit softly, “I’m sorry.”
>The drowsy unicorn attempts to summon a smile, her eyes only a sliver through her lids.
>”Not… ‘rfualt… “ she mumbles, “I was-nn… I… I’m…n-nnn…”
>The next several sounds she makes almost sound like words, but she doesn’t move her lips to articulate them, humming listlessly instead.

>>30484504
That was cute and silly. Wish you had more of the snarky Twi in the story and would like to see more of her. Also, didn't you hint at some sort of necromancy shenanigans in a previous story or am I misremembering?

>>30485382
>After a continued bout of inarticulate mumbling her lips part at the very edge and her breathing becomes deep and peaceful, her conscious mind slipping far away from the power of the anesthetic.
>You sit silently and watch her for another minute or so, putting aside the doctor’s orders for a little while to give yourself some much-needed peace of mind.
>Eggnog is still young, still eager; practically at the height of her career.
>You know that she can pull through this, but you can’t help but muse over the seriousness of her injury and the possible consequences it might have on her future.
>She might need to go into some form of physical therapy after all of this was said and done.
>That wasn’t even mentioning the possibility that some of the damage could be sticking with her for the foreseeable future.
>An unfair fate.
>One that could have been avoided were she in more capable hooves…
>You screw your eyes tightly shut and frown down at broken up unicorn, extending your hoof to once again rest against her largely undamaged forelimb.
>”I’m sorry…” you repeat under your breath.
>Eggnog shows no sign of noticing your touch or your words in her slumber.
>Her jaw falls open just slightly as her muscles continue to slack, and her breathing gradually begins to roughen into petite snores.
>You actually manage to crack a wry smile at her as you slowly return your foreleg, wishing you could do more for her than you were able.
>Moving a celestial body felt so easy compared to this.
>You could tug Equis’ sun clear across the cosmos with little more than an ounce of concentration, but you couldn’t stomp your hooves and sew your friends back together – like Starswirl, let alone like Gildheart.
>They were geniuses of their craft; not unlike Twilight Sparkle was becoming, and not unlike, you fear, Starlight Glimmer had the capacity for, as well.

>>30485391
>Sometimes it felt like you were wading through eye-tall grass and weeds, a blind giant among blind giants hoping for a gap in the scenery.
>Perhaps if you’d spent less time in your youth on things like ‘Gryphonian Customs and You’ and more time on ‘Reparative Magic; a Lexicon’, then perhaps your talents may have developed in a different way.
>You may have found another path.
>Instead...
>You slowly turn to peer down at you side, at the bright orange-yellow mark permanently stained into the fur on your flank.
>Just as the sun looked over all and illuminated all, so too did you.
>The mark on your hindquarters was a permanent reminder of your situation, your purpose; to oversee and understand all who could peer up at the sky under the light of day.
>It was a noble thing to endeavor, an important thing…
>If only it left more room for other pursuits.
>You sigh wistfully and reach back out to your assistant, tilting her head ever-so-slightly to the side to help alleviate her rickety snores.
>The line of saliva that trickles down the side of her mouth at your interference pairs well with the messy and vaguely dusty bed of white curls cushioned between her head and pillow.
>You spend a while absently brushing away the small flecks of stone debris in her mane you could find before slowly getting to your hooves and moving away from her bed.
>You take your time with the last look you shoot the unicorn from the gap in the fabric before finally retreating from her section of the ward entirely.
>Staying by her side for the rest of the night was a comforting thought, but an unrealistic one.
>There was still work to be done, work that hundreds of other ponies were seeing to without you even now.
>Eggnog is in good hooves with or without your interventions.
>You still have a job to do, and you mean to do it.
>From here on your admittedly evening-dreary brain is kicked into overdrive.

>>30485400
>You spend but a moment getting the okay from the on-staffers before briskly sweeping about the room to question every injured guardsmare who was a witness to the event, conscious, and well-enough to talk.
>Luckily – the first bit of luck you’ve had all day, no doubt – those conditions just so happened to apply to all of them.
>The value in the answers those questions manage to unearth, however, are a little less fortuitous.
>Though your short interviews with each mare reinforce your initial piecing-together of the events concerning Starlight Glimmer’s initial attack and resulting escape (barring a few minor details), you aren’t able to gleam any truly astounding information otherwise.
>None of them were able to recount specifically what happened in the moments following and leading up; each mare had been taken completely off guard.
>The closest you got to breaking ground was with the blue-coated mare whom, aside from confirming your theory of Glimmer’s failed teleport, only noticed that her horn-binding had been released the very moment after it hit the ground.
>None of the witnesses managed to see it head on, even though all of them were quite close to the event.
>Whatever Starlight did to free herself, she did it fast.
>So fast that ponies in the same room – one of whom was right in front of her cell at the time – didn’t notice what she’d done until it was too late to do anything about it.
>”I’m sorry, ma’am,” the blue mare remarks apologetically, “I wish I could be of more help. Everything just went wrong so fast that I…”
>You grant her an understanding look in an attempt to alleviate the guilt you could see emerging in her eyes.
“It’s alright, Staff Sergeant,” you reply, “if you remember anything else, contact your superior and they’ll get in touch with me. From what your other squadmates told me, you did everything you could tonight. You have nothing to be ashamed about.”

File: 1215454541.jpg (68KB, 736x1044px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 736x1044px

>>30485410
>The Staff Sergeant flashes you a remorseful look and shifts on her cot, maneuvering her damaged shoulder in a way that might cause her less discomfort.
>”I wish I could agree with you, ma’am,” she replies.
“Take your rest, guardsmare,” you insist earnestly, turning from her, “you’ve earned it; that’s an order by the way.”
>She chuckles, and from the squeak in her mattress you’re sure she salutes you with her good foreleg as you pass through her privacy curtain and back out into the main room.
>You’ve hardly stepped out in the open for more than a second before a large, dark blue alicorn in royal regalia trots into the office through the double doors, disheveled and obviously agitated.
>She turns immediately to the orange stallion sitting on the stool to her right.
>”Nurse – excellent. We—” she says, starting when you pass fully through and she notices you for the first time.
>”Sister…?”
>Her brow crinkles when you don’t start speaking, and she slowly turns back to the expectant stallion.
>Her face becomes mildly embarrassed, and she speaks in a lower volume than the one she was using when she entered.
>”… we require more,” she mumbles, “quickly. We have important matters to see to.”
>The stallion sets his quill and clipboard back onto his desk and slides off of his stool, frowning slightly.
>”Already?” he says.
>He pauses in place, his eyes narrowing.
>”… you aren’t still drinking that swill, are you? I told you not to mix them.”
>”It isn’t ‘swill’,” your sister returns indignantly, chasing her eyes between him and you, “and no, we aren’t. Of course we aren’t – not that it is of thy concern if we should.”
>The experienced stallion is unfazed by her attitude, turning fully to face her again.
>”If you’re propped up on our door half-loopy at five AM and I find out that you’ve been mixing them like last time, little lady…” he warns her in a short tone.

>>30485419
>Your sister pins her ears back and sniffles her stuffy nose, turning away from midlife stallion with puffed cheeks after she cuts her eyes at you yet again, obviously riled by your further audience to the scene.
>”Do not deign to father us, colt,” she hisses hastily, “just fetch us the medicine – post-haste!”
>She ‘shoo’s him rudely with her hoof in an effort to quicken his departure, and he does depart, if grumbling under his breath all the while.
>You flash the stallion a placating look as he retreats before turning to and approaching your sister.
”Taking my advice?” you say with some extra surprise layered on.
>Luna sniffles again and herds her eyes away from you, attempting to form an unfazed expression.
>”Yes, well…” she mutters, “we deemed it reckless to pursue our usual, EFFECTIVE methods given the circumstances, and decided to go with thy more… suiting recommendation, yes.”
“Oh? Reckless, you say? Interesting,” you remark innocently as you sit at her side on the ground, cutting a cunning look at her.
>Luna frowns in response but offers no rebuttal, stewing in your comment silently.
>All the better.
>There are more pressing matters to discuss, one chief among them all.
“I don’t know what to do, Luna…” you whisper forlornly.
>Your words gain back her full attention instantly, and you can see her tilt her head at you in your peripheral.
“Ponies are getting hurt,” you say, nodding toward Eggnog’s curtains, “Anonymous is no closer to being returned home and Starlight is, well…”
>You turn to look her in the eyes, reading deeply into you sister before she has to chance to look away and hide her doubts.
“… Gone, isn’t she?” you continue.
>”We are putting our best efforts into the continued detainment of the fugitive,” Luna replies in a mechanical, formal manner before drooping her ears.
>”However, concerning what we know of Starlight Glimmer, the possibility of her recapture at this point in time is… slim,” she admits with some regret.

>>30485428
>”Perhaps if we were present at the time, or at least closer when she freed herself, we might have been able to apprehend her again before she slipped through our grasp. But now…”
>Luna shakes her head bitterly.
>”She is a snake in all but form, and she’s left us with less than shed skin for all of our efforts to search out her true desires.”
“I’ve been in contact with Twilight,” you add on, finding now to be a good time to inform her.
“She’d already been to the location listed in the letter before I could ask her. She said that she found evidence of Anonymous’ abduction at the scene...”
>You speak the sentence before you can properly prepare yourself for its context, your chest stinging when you remember the choice words from you pupil’s return letter; words like ‘cider glass’ – and ‘shattered’.
>Your sister is leveling a concerned look at you now, no doubt from the subtle hurt creeping up on your face from the memory.
>A quick shake of your head brushes the unkind thoughts away.
“She also mentioned evidence of Diamond Dogs at the scene, paw prints specifically.”
>”More hounds,” Luna mutters, frowning, “her relations with them grow all the more unsavory.”
>She turns to you with a thoughtful look, her brow creased.
>”You think that Glimmer is manipulating the Dogs? Bending them with her magic and forcing them to do as she pleases?”
>You open your mouth to speak but pause at the sound of hoofsteps, quieting your reply at the last second.
>The both of you turn to look at the returning orange stallion, making the attending flinch slightly from the force of your gaze.
>This probably wasn’t the best place to be discussing this; ever more slip ups on your part.
>You frown at your lack of forethought, and the stallion’s face noticeably drops from your change of expression.
>”S-Sorry, sorry ma’ams,” he apologizes hastily, “I wasn’t listening or anything, I was just, uh.. here. Your medicine…”

>>30485435
>The earth pony motions to the two of you with his limped foreleg, bringing the tiny, frog-sized vial into view.
>A dark blue glow ebbs to life in your peripheral and then at the edge of the stallion’s hoof, whizzing the bottle through the air and toward its intended recipient.
>”Now that’s your second dose,” he says as Luna wordlessly snaps off the cork and lifts the item to her lips.
>”You probably don’t need to drink the whole thing unless you really, really – yeah… okay, just… go ahead… whatever…” he continues as the alicorn drains the last drop, his expression souring at the utter lack of attention paid.
“Thank you, sir. Very much,” you step in for her, flashing the male an understanding smile, “We’ll be going now.”
>You motion Luna toward the exit before walking in that same direction.
>As you and she step back through the double doors, the cyan pegasus doctor emerges from a privacy curtain and catches sight of your retreat, pausing a moment to watch you go.
”Take good care of her…” you say under your breath, hoping she gets the message.
>The pegasus nods at you, both in solidarity and in farewell, yet again soothing your troubled soul.
>You and your kin exit into the hall without any further delay, pacing farther away from the doors so as to earn yourself an improved notion of privacy.
>There were probably still guards roaming the corridors, but it was unlikely that there were any civilians left out to hear anything they didn’t need to; your only audience now were the five acolytes melded into the stained glass windows looming over you.
>All the better, as Luna looks ready to continue your conversation.
>”The entire accord between Glimmer and the hounds was probably just a distraction to give her a reason to associate with them without suspicion,” she says.
>“Methinks it was no accident that their illusion of negotiation gave her ample reason to enter onto the royal grounds, as well.”

>>30485443
“Maybe…” you respond distantly, still matching her words against what you knew as you stared blankly through the windows.
“But that can’t be all of it… you saw her down there, the way she acted? Did she seem like a pony that was ‘in control’ of anything to you?”
>”It is as we theorized,” Luna reaffirms confidently with a stomp of her hoof, “She is mad. Competent, perhaps, but mad; and aggressive. Her leadership would explain the so-called ‘Alpha’ she brought in for the treaty-signing. No runt hound like you described could possibly control a pack of beasts like that; they would eat her alive.”
>The dark blue alicorn grimaces slightly.
>”Perhaps… literally.”
“It’s… possible…” you say slowly, turning back to her.
“But I still think there’s more to this than we’re seeing…”
>Luna huffs and turns away from you, her tail flicking about.
>”Well, WHATEVER her ruse is, we’ll have it dealt with in due time. I’ve already arranged for post to be sent to all of our known provinces and points of interest. Before the end of the night there’ll be no place for Glimmer to hide from us. Her face will doom her. Our nation is a net. All we have to do now is pull the string and trap her.”
>Your sister turns on you again, the ghost of a triumphant look warming on her face.
>”We will recapture her and FORCE her to tell us where your stallion is hidden! We will do this as a service to you, sister. We swear it on our honor,” Luna declares with certainty, and for a moment you think she’s going to bow to you.
>It’s only now that you’re looking directly at her that you begin to notice the large rings collecting under her eyes, and the slightest bit of fray in her ethereal mane around the ears.
>The alicorn suddenly lifts a hoof to her mouth and fills the hall with the sound of her cold, her rough coughs echoing up and down the otherwise silent corridor.

>>30485450
>”We will prove ourselves to thee in this matter,” she promises through an increasingly gravelly voice, “Thou wilt see. We will scour every hill and search every township until the deed is done. Thy sire will be returned through our diligent, loyal service – safe and sound – and all past debts will be made up for.”
>You open your mouth to object, to slow her down and urge for moderation as was common in your exchanges, but you’re halted in your tracks when her last sentence finally registers in your brain.
>She seems to notice it as well, and her eyes widen.
“… past debts?” you word carefully, your voice hardly going over a whisper.
>She’s already shaking her head.
>”It is nothing,” she says hastily, taking a step away from you, “ignore our blithering, sister. We speak nonsense, it is nothing. Let us get back to the task—”
“Luna…”
>You peer softly into her eyes, a gaze that isn’t reciprocated no matter how long you hold it there.
>She tries to hide the guilt from you, but you see it as plainly as if it were the sun on the cloudless afternoon.
>”It is nothing…” she repeats in a whisper – but you can see through her.
>You see the spike that divided you for all those years treading water just below the surface, just deeply enough for her not to notice it before it snuck back up on her.
>She looks even more tired now, and you don’t try to cull your first impulse to go to her for a second.
“Luna,” you say again, nudging her gently on the side of her face with a fetlock.
>She turns to you for a split second, but only for a split second, not daring to let any more of herself slip out into the open.
“You need to stay here.”
>Her face twists up the second the words leave your lips.
>”But, but We, I—“
“I won’t ask you to run around for me in your condition, and if Anonymous was here, I know he’d say the same thing. You need to stay here,” you reiterate gently.
“There aren’t any debts between us, there isn’t anything to repay.”

>>30485459
>Luna lets out a stubborn utterance under her breath – one that even you, at your close distance, don’t catch – the regret and fear in her eyes ever mounting.
>The alicorn attempts to clear her throat, but that only agitates it.
>Another nasty round of hacking coughs battle through her medicine and bravado, shaking her chest terribly from the strain.
>You cradle her head through it, holding her until she finishes and once again falls silent.
>Icy blue eyes continue to track along the wall and ground, staying from yours for as long as possible before losing out to whatever will kept them from finally swiveling into yours.
“You need to stay here and rest. Our place is here,” you whisper.
>The negativity in her expression remains, but not nearly to the same level it once was.
>She frowns, freely bracing her head and your hoof now.
>”We will stay here…” she mimes.
>The smile you give her is troubled somewhat by the swing her own face takes, her displeased but relenting look morphing fast into realization.
>”We will remain here,” she repeats, now matching your gaze freely.
>“… and YOU will go.”
“W-What?” you respond, slowly drawing your forelegs back to place them at your side, “No, that’s not what I… meant.”
>”We will stay behind so that you can go,” Luna pushes on energetically, her posture suddenly straightening at the thought.
>”It’s been obvious all along!”
”Luna, really…” you protest, shaking your head dubiously.
>You stare her down for a moment, waiting for her to shake her head and chuckle, to realize the lunacy of her statement.
>But she doesn’t relent, not for a second; her eyes reflect yours without hesitation.
“I can’t just… LEAVE, Luna. It isn’t right. I have an important duty – we BOTH do. I can’t just walk out the door just because I-I… just…” you try, pinning your eyes to the ground as you attempt to mine out any more reasons you might have for not doing the one thing that you wanted to do so badly.

>>30485465
>The one simple, petty, selfish thing you wanted to do all along but that you conscience kept you from.
“I can’t run away from Canterlot because I want to,” you reason solemnly, “I can’t…”
>”Thou can,” Luna disagrees, coming up to you now to hold your head in her own fetlocks as she pierces into your eyes with her own.
>”We will make it so thou can. We will stand in your place until the job is done. We will rest here and co-ordinate the greater chase while you personally head the search. You and the Elements, both.”
“Oh! Oh I see!” you exclaim with plenty of incredulity, “and if I were to entertain this-this… whatever this is, where exactly would I and Equestria’s greatest guardians be running off to?”
>”To Glimmer’s village; that is where,” she responds without hesitation.
>You scoff.
“Luna really, you think she’d be foolish enough to return to her own town? It’s the first place any sane mare would look for her,” you return obstinately, taking you chance to speak amidst another bout of coughing.
>”We agree, sister,” Luna says, recovering, “but that is the only thing we have that connects us to Starlight Glimmer, and quite possibly her canine cohorts, as well. It is not but the obvious choice; it is the only place of any meaning to her that we know of.”
>You consider her words for too long and too seriously, your gaze cutting away from hers.
“This is… insane. I can’t…” you whisper, holding out as well as your mind could battle your heart.
>”We must stay here,” Luna replies, tilting her head so that she might find your eyes again.
>”But you must go; to him. If the bond you share is truly what you hope it to be, then there is no doubt in our mind that he expects you, perhaps just as much as you desire to see him. Am I wrong, sister?”
”Yes…” you whisper stubbornly, twisting your head around in a bid to further avoid her.
>”If thou art to lie to us, sister,” Luna says, “look us in the eye and do it.”
>You do as she says, staring her down yet again.

>>30485471
>The corridor has gone completely silent.
>Not even the hoofsteps of passing guards or the dim sounds of the care center can step between you.
>You challenge her with everything you have, watching for even the subtlest twitch in her face that might allow you to push through and end this conversation.
>Your sister is polished stone; smooth, assured, unyielding.
“IF… I were to consider this…” you say, and her eyes brighten marginally.
”… This isn’t just an evening, Luna. This won’t just be for a few hours, and unlike before, Eggnog won’t be in any shape to help you – either of us… probably for a long time…” you remark somberly.
>”Thou saith there are no debts between us…” Luna says, her eyes hardening.
>”Prove it now. Place thy trust in us and we shan’t let thy good will waste, not even for a moment.”
>Luna steps away from you now, sliding her front legs away to place them at her fore and stand fully before you, open and ready.
>”Trust us, Celestia….” is all that she adds.
>You can only squeeze your eyes shut, weighing your options, weighing your numerous, numerous risks.
>The world is well and truly baring down on you, dividing you on the spot, cutting you on the line where your duty and desire parted.
>Time becomes difficult to understand the longer you spend it in this spot, tearing yourself in a new direction for each second that passes.
>You keep fighting yourself but it isn’t enough, not nearly enough.
>A younger you wouldn’t have stayed their decision for this long.
>The you who’d never known Anonymous, never spoken to him, seen him smile or held him – her conclusion would have been decisive and clean.
>But you weren’t the you from back then.
>Something had snuck inside you, something warm and unfamiliar and just what you needed.
>No matter how hard you reason and obstinate, that something keeps yanking you back to the start, to the very first choice you were presented with.
>To the one you wanted to take but shouldn’t.

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>>30485478
>You can’t escape your own heart.
>Not this time.
>Both the fear and the hurt feel far away in your mind when you finally open your eyes again.
>The world is suddenly so simple and so terrifyingly free.
>You find Luna in the exact same place you left her in, waiting patiently for your decision.
>Or, perhaps more accurately, waiting for hers.
“You need to stay…” you whisper.
>A troubled smile slowly makes its way across your face.
>Your sister beams.
“… And I have to go…”

<>

>When your eyes finally open again, it isn’t the morning sun that greets you.
>Nor is it the pleasing smell of coffee or the brisk chill of an early autumn day.
>It is darkness, darkness and a node of warmth rumbling rhythmically against your back.
>You roll onto your back, sleek fabric running against your legs as you twist in place to identify what’s happening and why, exactly, you were awake at whatever hour this was.
>Your back leg collides with something, and the warmth against you chokes out another disturbed snore at your contact, their side now vibrating into your side.
>You squint and spot a puff of frizzy mane, and below that is huddled a mass of pink pony, still awkwardly stuffed into the same sleeping bag as when you all went down.
>It appears as though her copious teasing and exact recitations of ‘no homo’ had been far less for your benefit than it was for hers; Pinkie was a hard sleeper, and a messy one.
>You were almost surprised that she hadn’t flailed a leg or two over you while you slept.
>She wasn’t the reason you were prematurely lucid, though.
>That honor went to the heavy, annoying thud that continued to hammer into the room from the north side, cropping back up over and over the last who-knows-how-long every time you came close to drifting away.

>>30485490
>You growl something meaningless and twist around again, restoring the modicum of personal space that Pinkie had taken while you slept whilst at the same time aiming your face toward where that noise was coming from.
>The subtle arch of a door slowly appears in the lowlight, gaining form the longer you stare at it.
>You glower, daring it to continue making its ruckus while you were trying to sleep – and it does.
>Thud, thud, thud.
>Three times, perfectly even and spaced and JUST loud enough to be disturbing, like it was mocking you.
>An eggshell white foreleg juts out of your sleeping bag and mashes against the ground in sleep-deprived anger, your sore and beaten muscles crying pitifully as you attempt to lift yourself up off the ground.
>You don’t even manage to free another leg before a quiet gasp sounds from the loft above you.
>The whip of fabric being tossed follows quickly behind, and soon the dark, sleep-ragged form of Twilight Sparkle appears at the top of the stairs and begins a hasty descent.
>”Oh goodness, oh no, oh jeez,” she mumbles apprehensively amongst the meagre click of her hooves against the stairs, slapping herself gently with one of them when she finally reaches the ground floor.
>”Okay, wake up, wake up Twilight.”
>You scrunch your eyes and whine your displeasure vaguely in her direction, catching her attention.
>”Sorry,” she says under her breath, now tip-hoofing around the other bags and plastic mattresses haphazardly scattered about the ground of the treebrary.
>”Tarn!-nnngg, wh-wuh—“ you hear the voice of Applejack grunt, and Twilight wrenches back her hoof as one such bag rustles beneath her in confusion.
>”Sorry sorry sorry,” she hisses again, the outline of her ears drooping as she continues on past the bags and makes her way to the front of the building.
>She takes a moment to make a few minor attempts to improve her appearance before finally opening the door, the soft lavender light of her magic stinging your eyes.

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>>30485499
>The unicorn acts just in time to avoid full another round of knocks, halting the newest attempt mid-way as the entrance cracks open.
>Twilight pokes her head through and whispers something to whoever it is on the other side – hopefully an insult – before widening the crack enough so that a pony could step inside.
>And one does, one you’ve never seen before.
>A pony wearing what you can only describe as silvery armor carefully slips into the library and stands at Twilight’s side, her slatted eyes wide and fully awake despite the telling blanket of stars and inky black sky that framed her arrival.
>She’s a sturdy-looking mare with a light black coat and dark blue mane, and at her sides rest sleek, featherless wings with the faint outline of talons at their peaks.
>The armored mare has several large bags strapped securely around her barrel, and she wheels a rolling suitcase in her wake via the extended handle clasped in her mouth.
>She peers at the unicorn expectantly and Twilight mutters something, pointing her hoof to the corner of the room.
>The armored mare heads in that direction and begins to set down her cargo piece by piece, trying for as little further noise as possible.
>You watch her silently as she completes her task, drinking in the rare site of – what you assumed – to be one of princess Luna’s night gaurds, until a startling notion pops up into your mind.
>You turn back toward the front door, hardly finishing your thought before you see it.
>Before you see ‘her’.
>The morning sun might not have been your wake up call, but the mare who now stood before you now would have been a just and relevant replacement.
>The alicorn mare cranes her long neck to peer down at her pupil, whispering something to her about not wanting to impose.
>Twilight shakes her head and whispers something back you don’t quite catch but would probably agree with wholeheartedly given the office and importance of the pony who now stood before her.

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>>30485516
>Princess Celestia, a Diarch of Equestria, was now standing in her home, mere meters from where you made-do on the ground in one of her dingy little sleeping bags.
>It wasn’t a miscommunication.
>She came just like she said she would.
>She came all this way, and in the middle of the night.
>Miles by train long, long after the civilian trains stopped running,
>Her means as a Princess are a match to the force of her presence, it seems.
>You watch as her time-wizened and weary eyes sweep across the room, clearly tested from exhaustion but nonetheless focused, almost serene with confidence.
>She was on a mission.
>Like you, she was here to rescue him, to save Anonymous – a task that suddenly felt VERY accomplishable now that she was here, now that you were feeling the very weight of her resolve pressing down on you.
>Pinkie shifts and snorts loudly, unconsciously drifting back into you and tossing a foreleg over your withers.
>Your breath catches in mild horror and you twist around to push her farther away from you, your face aflame in embarrassment as you try desperately to reclaim some of your dignity before its too late.
>You manage to shove the pink earth pony off of you, but not in time.
>Your movement in the darkness has drawn her attention.
>You know it has; you can feel it.
>You can feel the powerful eyes of your ruler upon you, watching you.
>Your skin begins to prickle from the force of her gaze, and after a while you begin obsess over it, fretting over why you, just you, suddenly had all of her attention.
>She doesn’t turn away, not even as you lift your head.
>Not even as your eyes meet.

all dis green

love you ghoulies

>>30485527
Pheew, hohkay. That's it for now fellas. As I said at the beginning, the length of these scenes ran a little weird, so this is all I have right at the moment.

As always, tell me what you thought, any errors you might have seen and etc. Hope you enjoyed this portion of the story. I'll have more for ya soon.

Pastebin is here: https://pastebin.com/k4uKn6Va

>>30485555
Look at those digits.
Also great, update. How many more pieces until the story resumes or Anon reenters it?

>>30485555
sheknows.png

>>30485553
:hart:

>>30485679
>5555
Neat.
Also, if you mean the story so far as Anonymous is more of a direct player, I don't wanna spoil much, but it'll be soon. I've been holding it back for a while in an attempt to make the ending more satisfying which, hopefully, I'll succeed with. I know people tend to enjoy having a little more Anonymous in their lives, but hopefully you can settle for lovestruck horses trying to protect your smile for another few scenes.

>>30485733
>[awkward horse noises]

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>>30485143

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>>30485555 (dem digits)
well, don't expect any replies that have read all this for...an hour or so, I guess.

>>30485555
damn ghouls that was a big throbbing green.

>>30485555
I wish there was more.

did ERECTION4BREAKFAST ever make a part two or should I treat part 1 as a decent oneshot?

and as it was 30~ days ago, here is a refresher of what im talking about
https://pastebin.com/4Vtqg2ZR

>>30485555
Magnificent.

>>30486466
breddy gud thread so far, now we just need poppedanon to drop some green

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>>30485478
>saith
>-th

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>>30485555
>be anon
>be skipping all the posts from this story because you missed the start and "I will read it all from paste eventually" mentality
>click open the pastebin as always
>only now notice the fact that is a First Impressions sequel
>mfw I've been waiting for a sequel to that for a while
I am not a smart person, am I?

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>>30479853
>muslims
>consanguineous marriage hot spots
>leads to metal illness
>combined with violent religion/state ideology
>results in terrorism

>>30485555
Great update. Looking forward to the mane 6 working with Celestia and eventually seeing Anonymous again.

>>30486577
For every mistake a writefag makes with Elizabethan, an ameriburger living in a trailer park surrounded by empties and stray dogs gets another nephew. I assume I goofed up with that word.

>>30486729
Yikes. Sorry about that Anon. After the first few dumps I stopped mentioning that Aftershock was the sequel to First Impression. I suppose I should still occasionally bring that up since the sequel came a year afterward and people probably trickle in and out over time. Hope you enjoy it when you get around to reading all the same -- it's shaping up to be a long one.

>>30484484
>“Yeah!” the crowd yelled.
missed a greenline.

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>"Yes, i accept"
>"I know nothing will ever come between us"
>Says Anon with a smile and happy tone.
>You don't have to worry your little head anymore colt.
>With me, you are set to life, and no matter what happens.
>Time, money, love, everything gains a new meaning now.
>I'll always be by your side.
>Always.
>"Beacuse i'll eviserate anyone who tries"
>…
>Always.

Yandere Anon that is not yandere but give that vibrations when.