>Pegasi are a proud and noble ra-

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>>30450565
birb pones a cute!

>>30450565
I prefered the eagles attacking the camp. These birds are using that water for its intended purpose.

>>30450691
If pigeons were sentient and could talk, and weighed 80 pounds, that would be fucking terrifying.

>>30451062
They'd also be the best and cheapest prostitutes.

>>30450565
>Bird shit on my rosemary bush.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>30451069
I like to think that I could have lived a long and happy life without considering that.

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>>30451062
No they'd just be annoying beggers or at worse just never leave you alone if they get you to give them so bread crumbs.

>>30451062
Pigeons are already sentient, anon...

>>30450565
I now headcanon that the Cloudsdale Senate holds their sessions in a bathhouse.

>>30450691
Now the edit.

>>30451275
It'd make sense the pegasii all meet to fuck in a bathhouse like the greeks

You know, because they were massive faggots

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>>30451300
What edit?

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>>30450565

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>>30451300
>>30451445

THE BATH

>>30451332
Eh, I just thought the image of elected officials conducting state business knee deep in water was funny.

Quick - name an Alfred Hitchcock movie...

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>>30451467

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birds are assholes

>>30450565
That webm is really cute, I have a weakness for birds.

>>30450565
which website is the annoying shithole that spawned this meme used exclusively by shitposters?

its like a millennial version of the candeljack me-

>>30452128
>-

You did it wrong. Candlejack would never give you time to use a hyph

>>30452128
/v/

>>30450565
> oi, thats a cute birb
>hey, another
>and another, such cute lil thin-uh another...and another, oh god, another one
>OH GOD
>MAKE THEM STOP
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-3e0EkvIEM

>>30452141
But he is nice enough to fill out the captcha and submit your pos

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>>30450565
they are the cuddliest race

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>>30452498

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Birb bread?

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pegasus thread

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>>30450565
>>30450699
>Griffonstone will be a super power by 20-

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>>30450691
birbcats a cuter

>>30452582
birb bread

>>30452597
>>30450565
I feel like both of these could be both griffons and pegasi.

>>30451588
North by northwest

>>30452128
The Candlejack meme is a millennial version of the Candlejack m

>>30451588
Psycho

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i miss the birb thread

>>30452582
birds: not quite that important 2bh

>>30451588
Rope

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>>30450565

>>30453592
>piercings
but why?

>>30451062
>sentient

I wish hollywood didn't make this stupid meme

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>>30451069
They'd shit on your dick, Anon.

>>30453870
Yeah.
Prostitutes.

>>30453666
To show that she's a rebellious dyke, m'Satan.

>>30450691
>birb
bird

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>>30450565
>Birds are stupid, they are by far the most boring animals in the wo-

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>>30454116
>Stupid birds, they can't even hunt a pidgeon without crashing into a buil-

>>30454120
gravity did all the work

>>30453551
Rofl what

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>>30450565
You afraid of a little hygiene, mud pone scum?

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Pegasi engaging in birdlike behavior is much funnier than ponies that are just birds outright.

>>30450565
>Every day since Anon got a big fountain to decorate his yard, Pegasai have been dropping in to cool off.

It started with something small and humble, too. Derpy dropped in and had a sip from some of the water and splashed some on her face while you were gathering some of the fruit you were growing.

>She even splashed some on her wings and back while shaking and fluffing herself up.
>Cute.
>Derpy greets you and says that you have a nice cooling spot, asking if she can bring a friend or two over sometime
>You dont mind - its just a small fountain
>This was a mistake
>It started with Flitter visiting, then Cloudchaser to see what her sister enjoyed, then compounded to Thunderlane, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash....

>Worse yet, the pesky birbs started getting their construction friends to make the fountain bigger while you were working your day shift

>You came home that day to find your fountain to be the like of something in Canterlot Gardens with the fucking Wonderbolts themselves cooling in what was once your fountain
>For one reason or another, even the Princesses were vising, content to wade in the lower, larger levels like swans as they discussed royal horse things

>>30455348
Not seeing the downside, as long as I don't have to foot the bill for it.

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>>30455348

>>30455348
That sounds cozy.

>>30450565
>Suddenly birbs
>Hundreds of them

>>30451588
The Rear Window

>>30451588
Vertigo

>>30451588
The birds but only because it is the only hitchcok film I have seen.

>>30455635
That reimagining called Disturbia was the only good movie Shia Lebouff has ever been in.

PRAISE LULU

>>30455552
>"Birbs, sir. Thousands of them."

>>30450565
not even close to how crowded humans are at pools during summer

>>30452925
Does typing Candlejack equate to saying Candlejack? That's sh

lemme smash

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>>30452128
I hate this me

>>30452925
>>30452128
>>30459033
i have absolutely no idea what any of you are saying

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>>30454480
>backwards cutie mark

>>30459721
Google Candlejack you lazy newfa

>>30460667
It's an awful meme. Hur, if I type candlejack then he takes me away and I can't finish my sente

>>30460682
But what if Candlejack is the last thing I s

>>30460719
It's kind of hard to end a sentance on Candlejack

Worst thing about these fucks talking about the Candlejack meme is they don't even know how it works. You don't get cut off until the next

>>30455348
nice I want that

>>30450691
>>30451467
>>30451591
Fuck I remember that thread.

>>30451147
So like regular humans then?

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>>30450565
I like you OP.
You can come over to my house and fuck my sister.

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>>30451467
SHEEEEIT

>>30452117
https://twitter.com/BirdPerHour

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>>30461165
Same. How time flies.

>>30450565
>Follow me to the gay bird bath.

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>>30452128
>>30452925
>>30457880
>>30460667
>>30460682
>>30460719
>>30460776
>>30460815
......who's next anybody else?

>>30451591
It's a special kind of autistic joy that comes when someone capped your green.

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>>30465458
CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK C

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>>30465497
Nigga you better not be joking. Why the hell haven't I seen more funny ponies talking like black thugs willing to suck dick?

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>>30465564
another one bites the dust

>>30465567
I've written other things with pones/people sucking dick. Sassy black people aren't typically the characters I write. Though it was very entertaining, I admit. I was really hoping the name Pidge would be picked up but something else became more popular.

>>30453551
Does anyone have the correct version without Lily?

>>30451588
The shining

>>30466221
what

>>30451588
Shadow of a Doubt (Hitchcock's favorite)

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>>30465596

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Anyone else a fan of the idea that Pegasi have sensitive hooves because they spend so much time flying/floating instead of walking?

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>>30468054
My nigger

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>>30468054
I certainly am now.

>>30464463
Like a Pegasus

>>30452597
POO

>>30454308
I want a smol griffon in a cage. Or smol pegasus.

>>30468054
Clouds aren't very tough either. Even those who walk a lot in cloud cities still would have tender hooves.

>>30468054
>tfw no pegasus waifu to get a mutually-satisfactory frogjob from

>>30469982
IN

>>30468054
Do you think other pegasi foals tease Scootaloo about how tough and callused her hooves are from never flying?

>>30472192
THE

>>30473649
LOO

>>30451069
This guy thinks like a true thinker.

boop

>>30460627

Beady is best birb pone.

>>30460627

Have an old green.

Be Anon, working around the house on a sunny Thursday afternoon with some music playing in the background.
>Beady, on the other hand, is in the room she commandeered for her taxidermy/art/biological experiments. Or at least she was.
>She's kicking it in the den right now, on the couch
>Your house/human hideaway/fortress of Evil and Pancakes is currently a ghoulish museum of stuffed dead animals, skeletons, and various specimens in jars
>Some of them are animated. Not sure how the little minx managed that trick, but they can mix drinks and clean.
>You're not letting them cook anything but toast, though, after the Potatopocalypse.
>You rarely get pony visitors anymore, other than the recent run of weirdos who started paying money to see you. Which suits you fine.
>You flop down on the couch next to her for a breather with a couple of beers. You're long since out of Newcastle and Kirin, but the local stuff's grown on you. She edges away slightly.
>girl likes her space. You toss her a beer.
>You sit there in silence for a while, sipping your brews. You look at her out of the corner of your eye, and see her head bouncing slightly to the music
>"Whats' the name of this piece?" she asks.
>"Song."

>>30475588
>"Whatever." She finishes her beer. "What's the name?"
>"'You Look Like a Jew,'" you say.
>"No, I look like an owl," she says. What sense of humor she has is both ultra-dry and just a bit morbid. You're honestly not sure she's joking.
>"No, that's the name of the song. By Pussy Galore." The playlist segues into the next song. "And this is "Cunt Tease." Same group.
>"Vulgar." You listen to it for a while. Once again, she's sort of barely nodding to the music.
>"So what do you think?" you ask her. You pass her some jerky you keep in a bowl. No idea what animal it comes from, since cows are sapient here, but it's teriyaki flavored
>Just as well. Cows are decent people.
>She thinks for a moment.

>After a long, long pause, she finally says, "My observation--it's atonal. Discordant, grating. Harsh, and irritating. Complex."
>One of her animated skeleton/muscle golem things wanders by, sweeping up the floor.
>You've nicknamed the little things "scutters," since they seem to share their creator-programmer's morbid personality, it's their function and that's what they remind you of.
>When they're not under orders, you see them in the back quietly playing cards. Or just staring out the window and brooding.
>You wonder if she'd appreciate Red Dwarf.
>"The music reminds me of you. What you say your world was like," she says.
>She's munching her jerky absently.
>"You find me irritating?"
>"I find everyone irritating," she says.

>>30475591
>She simply lacks a filter and says whatever she thinks. You asked a question, she answered honestly.
>You don't take it personally, If she didn't like you or get something out of this, she wouldn't be here with you in the first place.
>"Another beer?" You hand her another, and she takes it without a word.
>The playlist comes to the end of the Pussy Galore set and goes into Naked Raygun's "Soldier's Requiem." "Anon?" Beady asks.
>"Yeah?"
>"Would you mind if we listened to Pussy Galore again?"

****

>Peep enters the room where you and Beady are drinking beer and mostly sitting in companionable silence.
>"'Sup, guys" she says. Beady says nothing, but inclines her head slightly.
>Oh crap. "Just a sec," you say. You get up to randomly tap this next track on your laptop's music playlist before it can quite register with Peep.

>>30475594
>You're not sure 'Pigeon Kill' is going to go over well with her. At the very least, it's in poor taste.
>You sit down in time for the next song to begin pouring through the den's speakers.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY [Embed]
>Oh crap. You get up and try to stop the track. Unfortunately, the player is lagging and unresponsive.
>Fucking iTunes is a POS, man. In all seriousness it is
>Peep's jaw drops in shock as Tom Lehrer's melodious voice echoes through the house, discussing the finer points of birb-murdering.
>And squirrels, because fuck squirrels.
>You look up up at an unfamiliar sound--Beady's chortling. You almost never hear it, and she's got an interesting laugh.
>iTunes finally gets the bug out of its ass and stops on its own. Shit. You look at the stricken expression on Peep's face.
>"I can come back later?" she offers.
>"Can we maybe rewind back to the point where you came into the room and just start over again? And pretend you didn't hear any of that?" you say sheepishly?
>Beady's howling with laughter now.
>Fucking drunk owlpones, man.

>>30460627
This shit looks like furry

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>>30475588
>>30475591
>>30475594
>>30475597

This gave me the Lulz got any more of her?

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>>30454285
Rip this guy, what ever he was
This comic was too good for this world

Somonepost the edits

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>>30477316
this edit where they say they're starved for stimulis

>>30477316
>This comic was too good for this world
Shame about the way he drew noses, though.

>>30451614
Life in Aberdeen.jpg

>>30476188
>a slice of a (pretty much) non-country
Gee, thanks.

>>30476188
Not really. She is in another story as a background character. Post it when I get home

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Seagulls are assholes.

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>>30468054
Not all pegasi, just ones that are particularly used to flying. You'll notice that pegasi like Dash or the wonderbolts sometimes rarely touch the ground and tend to just hover inches above it, but standard pegasi that aren't used to flying all the time would just stay grounded when they don't need to fly.

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What about wings? Are those sensitive too?

>>30455413
>>30455348
>>30450565

CUTE. I'm glad I fell for the bait title, will stay for quality adorable feather-horses.

>>30452128
I don't get it. What does Candle jack have to with any of this? Fuck I had no idea people were still even talking about him. I mean, fuck, I'm shocked people that browse /mlp/ were OLD enough to remember Freakazoid. The Candlejack episode was pretty good though. Probably one of my fav

>>30459015
please

>>30465497
Your green has brought many, many laughs, my friend.

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Birb alicorn. I requested this in a livestream.

>>30476188

Home.

>Be Hardcore, and that...thing?...never saw what hit him.
>It looked like an emaciated, shaved minotaur. Whatever. It was wearing an expensive tailored suit. It looked loaded and the Canterlot town guard was nowhere around for once.
>You didn't even have to show yourself or even threaten it. No need even for a spell.
>One tap from one of your forehooves and the thing folded. Another one put it down on the street in a pool of its own blood. No idea if it's dead. Who cares?
>Damn, but whatever it is, it's fragile as all fuck.
>Ten seconds later, you were back in the alley with a heavy bag of bits and a watch he was carrying. And some block of...stuff with a glowing front. Whatever. You dropped it in the garbage.
>You stop to count the cash a couple of blocks away.
>"You shouldn't have done that," you hear. The voice is light and feminine. Nothing startles you, really. What you feel is caution. Nothing more.
>You stop counting, stand up and turn around. Your horn glows. "I'd show yourself, if I were you."
>She still doesn't show herself. "That was a good friend of mine. You really shouldn't have done that," she says. Where the fuck IS she?
>You turn around, and she's standing there, not five hooves away. You have no idea how she got there so fast, because you didn't hear a damned thing.

>>30483099
>At first you think she's a pegasus. But no pegasus ever had that feather color scheme, and there's enough differences in the muzzle structure of the face and head to tell you she's not a pegasus. At all.
>"You're in the wrong place, little filly," you say. "Fillies get hurt when they wander in dark alleys. Maybe you need a lesson, huh?"
>"A lesson," she says, slowly, teasingly. "I'd like that. Why don't you teach me?" Her head's down, and her eyes are...okay, that's special, she can make her eyes glow red on command. Oh well.
>You grin and you start forward, your horn glowing. You levitate a knife out of your pack.

>And then she's not there.
>You literally didn't see her move. One second, she was there, and the next, nothing. Poof.
>Nor did you see any sign of a teleport, not that that was likely.
>You feel a tap on your flank.
>You turn to see it, involuntarily, and suddenly you're on the ground, your head ringing. "Oh Luna you're slow," you hear. "So when's the lesson gonna start?"
>You haul yourself to your feet, and there's no one around in range of your hornlight. "We're all meat, girl," you snap. "Someponies just don't know it yet."
>"Now SHOW YOURSELF!" you snarl.
>Another blow comes out of nowhere. You get back to your feet, shaking stars from your eyes, readying a fireball spell...
>And stop, because just out of range of the edge of your hornlight are eyes, all glowing red, and shining, white-wolf grins. Lots of them.

>>30483103
>And they're all around you.
>And she steps into the light, her eyes glowing red and her head down like a wolf. "Can you pick out the one word you probably SHOULDN'T have said?" she asks, still grinning.
>You back into a corner. Your hornlight fails as she advances.
>and as they fall on you, you have enough time to reflect that "Hardcore" probably was one of the more ironic names you could have been given, since the last thing you associate with "hardcore" is "screaming."

>be anon.
>Be anon in the hospital, with four broken ribs, a punctured lung (now healed thanks to magic) and a concussion.
>And Peep is chattering animatedly at you, while you pick over your lunch.
>"...we didn't see any sign of the bad guy, but while Beady was stabilizing you, Tweet found your cell phone and I managed to find your coin purse," she said. "When we managed to get you to a constabulary station, and...well..."
>Your coin purse felt a good bit heavier than you remember it, but you haven't had a chance to count it.
>You find you really aren't hungry. Maybe it's just a lingering aftereffect of the assault, or maybe it's just the meds. "Hey, you want my lunch?" You say. "The food here is crap, but the desserts are pretty awesome, and they had apple crisp today."
>She belches. You notice that she actually looks a little...well, green. "Ehh, that's okay," she says. "I'm not very hungry either."
>"Peep not hungry?" you joke. "You sure you're feeling all right? Maybe YOU need to see a doctor..."
>She titters. "Nah, I'll be fine," she says, belching again. "It was probably just something I ate."

>>30481908
>Be Seagull Pony
>Marefriend to Anon.
>Tonight you volunteered to prepare supper! Whee!
>You've spent all afternoon gathering ingredients.
>You're in the kitchen. "So what's on the menu tonight?" he asks.
>He's so adorable.
"A nice seafood bouillabaisse! It's an old family recipe my mother passed down to us."
>He's thoughtfully prepared the table, including bread, salads and a nice wine. Such a considerate coltfriend!
>You lean over his plate. "Uh, honey, what are you OH HOLY HELL--"
>BLAAAAAAH.
>**CRASH**
>You stand there at the kitchen table listening to Anon's screams retreating into the night while staring through the destroyed kitchen window.
>Your eyes well up with tears.
>"I'M SORRY! I'll bring beef stew next time!' you call after him.

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>>30483099
>>30483103
>>30483106

Nice, thanks anon. What about Beady? She sounds like a pretty in depth charicter.

>>30465596
You didnt do the meme ri

>>30484253

Beady's creator did a series of drawings and fleshed her out. She's sort of goth, likes collecting skulls and bones and doesn't like to be touched.

Also, don't mess with her glasses, that's a good way to end up as her next taxidermy subject.

>>30485791
Any pastebins with storys of her?

Do birb pone wanna smash?

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>>30450565
>Unicorns aren't ga-

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>>30485791

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>>30467289

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Savin' /birb from page 9 with a sprightly-looking birb and his little sis.

>>30488416

Someone is about to get beaten wildly about the neck and head.

>>30453870
Yet there are people who want to fuck Ember's cloaca...

>>30487023

You know, I've actually never checked.

The only stuff I've ever seen of her is whatever got posted on the old Birb threads and that one story I wrote. That's when I started showcasing my autism by writefagging in earnest. I HOPE there's some content for her, because the guy had her personality pretty well fleshed out. .

"Peep" also became the basis for Amber Eyes.

https://pastebin.com/u/Speaker-to-Birds

>>30490763
Well damn, thanks for replying. Guess I'll have to go though the archives.

I wonder how often pegasi relieve themselves midflight.
I mean, you know they do.

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>>30492044
Whenever they're over large bodies of water, it's fire at will.
Over land, they have to pick their spots, to avoid pissing off the groundies.

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>>30450565
>Yeah, so dignifi-

>>30493262
I intuitively feel that Cockatiel (male) is the Braeburn of birbponies.

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>>30495517
>Friendly
>Outgoing
>Closet homo
Yeah, I could see that.

>>30493262

The bald eagle looks like he'd be at home in some arcane library somewhere. If there's a way for a non-unicorn to cast spells, he'd know it. Probably some kind of birdhorse ritual magic.

The scarlet macaw has some serious bedroom eyes going on.

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>>30497262
Yeah the bald eagle would definitely be some kind of wizard, because wizards are assholes.

>>30493262
I would hug that barn owl.

>>30497262
Do you still update your birb pone anthropology story? That one was hella good.

>>30451588
Shrek 2

>>30493262
sucks to be a seapony, I guess

>>30493262
>Cardinal (female) just wants to have fun, but whenever she gets a couple of ciders in her she starts ranting about what a mistake Vatican II was and scaring off her date

>>30493262
>to avoid pissing on the groundies

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>>30468054
When I watch an MLP episode I drink every time Rainbow Dash is not airborne. She rarely touches the ground (unless inside with low ceilings).

Softest hooves.

>>30498875

I haven't in a little while, I got busy with other things. But I might let my autism out to play soon :).

I'd also like to return to my Bread Cultist thing, as soon as I can figure out how to work zombies and giant robots into it. Because everything's better with giant robots.

>Be Anon, the delivery guy
>It's four in the AM and you're running on three hours of sleep and 16 store-brand No Doz.
>You park the Hostess truck and get out at a handy Travel Center of Equestria to drain the lizard and get MOAR COFFEE.
>A bird pone accidentally runs into you on the way in.
>"'Scuze me," she says. You barely notice.
>The clerk is some pimply-faced pony playing a Neighntendo DS. Nametag says his name is Button. Seems appropriate.
>You buy coffee, a breakfast sandwhich and a Red Bull for later.
>You're about to pay the clerk when you finally notice your wallet is missing. And your keys. And your phone. And your shoes.
>You probably forgot to put on shoes again. Figures.
>You suddenly remember the bird-pone who bumped into you and run outside to see your truck pulling out onto the Canterlot Turnpike without you.
>there are six bird pones in the cab, four on the roof and the one in the driver's seat is the one who bumped into you in the parking lot.
>the ones on the roof are mooning you.
>the driver smiles and throws your shoes out the window.
>You scream at the heavens while shaking your fists uselessly in the air.
>"BIIIIIRD POOOOOONIES!"

>>30505361
what is it

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>>30505325

Page 9? NOT ON MY WATCH.

>>30450565
>It's a poorfag Anon has never owned a pool episode.

>>30505805
I...don't know.

>>30507500
>tfw no attractive nuisance full of attractive nuisances

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>tfw no secretatry bird pony with fabulous eyelashes

>>30452498
>not being a good goy and buying a 4chan pa

>>30454116
That was really entertaining. Smart birbs.
>>30454120
Yo that goat got fucked up

>>30493262
>tfw swimming in lake at pony summer camp
>get peed on by passing pegasi

>>30470199
Yeah, it'd be more like walking on a waterbed since clouds are made of half water n' all.

>>30477316
He became an SJW and dropped this toxic fandom.

>>30510132
>implying that's not your fetish anyway

>>30450691

>>30507739

>>30468054

Pegasi hooves have to be relatively delicate, considering they don't spend nearly as much time on hard surfaces as non-winged ponies and hence aren't worn down nearly as much. Clouds aren't going to do much to help that issue either.

>>30493262
Bleeding-Heart best birb pone.

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HERE IS RAG PONY WITH BIRD. WHICH MONGO THINK NICE.

MONGO THINK BOARD NEED MORE BIRD.

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HERE IS TWEET BIRD EATING YOUR GUMMIES.

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BIRD IS VERY IMPORTANT.

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>>30515023
Factual.

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Who let this thread hit page 9?

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We must establish a stronger birb presence.

BIRB must grow.

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>"Hi there, Anon. I just took a shit on your car!"

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>>30516822
What the flying fuck is THAT?

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UNF

>be Anon, in the park, watching a hoofball game.
>You've just gotten out the worm. THE Worm, the gummy worm one by which all other gummy worms are measured.
>You're contentedly nibbling on your prize.
A couple of nearby bird ponies suddenly stop in mid-conversation when they notice you.
>Oblivious, you continue munching away while watching the hoofball game, reflecting to yourself that Hoofball is probably the closest to a real-life game of Calvinball that can exist.
>You fail to notice that a few more bird-ponies have lighted on trees and benches beside you, unable to look away from the spectacle you're unwittingly putting on.
>You continue contentedly nibbling on your 4000 calories of sugary goodness, until you suddenly realize your''re surrounded.
>You look at the crowd surrounding you--there's at least 30 bird ponies staring at you in rapturous wonder
>Several of the mares are blushing furiously. The little stallions are looking at you--well, the worm, anyway--and licking their lips.
>The air is filled with a strange, musky floral scent
>"Uhhhh...is something wrong?" you ask.
>One of the mares shifts a little. "Nooo, we're good. Just...just go back to what you were doing. Yeah." She's biting her lower lip a bit.
>You try to put the crowd out of your mind.
>You just barely catch the mare you'd spoken with whispering, "Yeaaaah...eat that fuckin' worm...just like that..."
>"What was that?" you ask.
>Another mare nearby smacks her and frantically gives her a 'zip your lip' gesture. "Ummm...nothing?" she says.

>>30516854
Anon's TDEE must be insane for that thing to fit his macros.
Birbponies are probably just 'mirin.
>4000 kcal
>986 g carbohydrates
>68 g protein

>>30514003
Peep a cute birb.