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Ponies in Earth #83: Late Father's Day edition

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 448
Thread images: 133

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Previous thread >>30094346

>Shouldn't it be Ponies ON Earth?
Yes, but PiE is tasty. The thread has had this name since 2012 and it helps convey that this is what you get when the formula for AiE is reversed.

>Please explain.
We ask what happens when one or more ponies (or changelings, or griffons, or something else) are placed in a setting where humans are the predominant species? How does one of those adapt to living in a society where the normal things they do are weird and the weird things humans do are normal?

Beyond that, it's all the writer's choice!

It can be anything between silly or grim, set in the far future or distant past, canon characters or OCs! Ponies could be as rare as bigfoot sightings or as common as next-door neighbors! Are humans friendly or skeptical of the new arrivals? Are they even new arrivals? Is the pony a creation of humans, as with Browser Ponies or Hassenfield Bioengineering? Is Anon around? Is he still a jackass?

The door's wide open, so come on in!

>This thread doesn't seem to be around often.
We post new threads on the 14th of every month, schedule and conditions permitting. If there's already a PiE thread on the board, we let that thread roll over into the new month. It helps keep things predictable. PiE is considered a part of the AiE threads whenever there's no PiE thread up.

>Who's this pegasus OC that keeps getting posted in this thread?
Her name is Pillow Case. She was in one of the first PiE stories posted on 4chan and has become the thread mascot. She likes soft things and wearing her hoodie. She's also a self-taught computer programmer.

~~~
Useful links
~~~
---
PiE Pastebin: pastebin.com/u/Ponies_in_Earth
---
FAQ: pastebin.com/RjGxp6Mn
---
Recommended Stories for new readers: pastebin.com/m8YWvb4k
---
PiE Image Archive: derpy.me/PiE_Pictures
---
BP Authors: pastebin.com/KMbc65Zk
---
BP Image Archive: derpy.me/BrowserPonies
---
Writing guides:
pastebin.com/V1ujiyJt
pastebin.com/bnMmZ2T3.
>>
>RD's dad will never fuck you while making you call him Daddy
>>
>>30394533
Where's the tail lifter
>>
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>>30394551
She went out to go shopping.

Oh look, she's coming back now.
>>
>"I want to come inside, Anon!"

>>30394551
Are you going to get the door for her?
>>
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It comes
>>
>>30395038
Will it be soft?
>>
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>>30395194
Yes
>>
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>>30395038
>>30395230
>>
Bump. Pillow Case is still outside.
>>
>>30394533
>>Shouldn't it be Ponies ON Earth?
>Yes, but PiE is tasty. The thread has had this name since 2012 and it helps convey that this is what you get when the formula for AiE is reversed.

It could be "Ponies in Earth"...

>In a world, shattered by hubris and greed...
>In a massive bunker deep underground...
>One scientist works to open a portal...
>"You're tampering with forces mankind was never meant to understand!"
>One scientist works to give mankind a second chance...
>"This can't be the end, there has to be somewhere..."
>And a dying world makes contact...
>(Scientist closes a massive electrical switch.)
>(The massive conglomeration of technology shudders and quakes)
>A dying world reaches for salvation...
>(A glow develops around the circular portal in the center of the room.)
>(The scientist checks her displays, but is suddenly blown to the floor by a massive discharge of energy.)
>And finds salvation from the unlikeliest of places...
>(The scientist peers in wonder at the now-open portal)
>(Through the portal, a flower green plain is visible, with distant mountains.)
>(Pinkie Pie sticks her head around the corner curiously.)
>"Ooh, this is new!"
>But can the Magic of Friendship...
>(Soldiers pound on the door.)
>"Open up in the Name of the President!"
>Save Mankind from itself?
>"DON'T SHOOT!"
>Ponies in Earth!
>"There is no wrong way to fantasize!"
>>
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>>30396660
>Pinkie Pie emerges through the portal
>She defuses the situation with the soldiers by starting a party
>A wonderful time is had by all
>Everyone forgets what they were going to fight about
>Someone is wearing a lampshade, despite all the lighting in the bunker being fixtures and not lamps
>Cleaning up after the party, Pinkie notices one of the soldiers forgot their gun
>She takes it home and retrofits it into a fully-automatic confetti launcher
>Presents the design to Celestia
>She approves
>It enters mass production as the PARTY, The Pony Automatic Rifle That's Yellow
>Even in ponyworld, the military industry starts with the acronym and then fills in what it means later
>They come in yellow and a variety of other colors
>Full scale invasion of Earth by ponies equipped with PARTY guns, each of them firing several hundred shots of glee and glitter per minute
>Humanity never stood a chance
>Not that the humans wanted to
>They're so adorable and they look really happy with their toy guns
>It's not even a real invasion
>The ponies don't take and hold territory
>They just come by spraying around their PARTY guns once every couple of weeks
>And they bring baked goods
>Just be sure to ask if they're hay-free before eating one

There are people who think the timeline we are living in is the superior one. I present this as evidence that they are wrong.
>>
Pillow Case is STILL outside. It's getting dark.
>>
>>30394580
I want a tiny pony in a bag too!
>>
>>30398223
I want Microsoft Edge in a bag!
>>
F I N I S H

S T R A W B E R R Y
>>
>>30398223
What do we do if that pony wants an even tinier pony in a tiny bag? And what if that one wants a pony that's even tinier in a tinier bag? This is why compact browser ponies were a bad idea!
>>
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>>30398881
>bad idea
What do you mean
>>
It's only been a day
>>
>>30400036
Oh please
>>
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>>30399215
I'm talking about recursively tiny ponies, Anon. This could break reality.
>>
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What do we know about Pilly's family? Skype has been saying stuff about her having a paternal twin brother and two younger identical twin brothers.

Because pillows come in twin packs.
>>
>>30401738
She's the second oldest child in her family, I think
>>
>>30402345
That's what I think too, though I also remember talk about her being born prematurely and saved by human medicine. She could be a twin AND also have some weird age difference with her brother.
>>
Pilly is a smol hors
>>
Green soon, fellow Anons.
>>
>Aww yeah, finals are done
>Time to do nothing for a few weeks before summer classes start
>You fumble with the grocery bags in your arms as you try to knock on your own apartment door
>Nobody comes, despite several loud knocks on your side of the door and the sound of a television on the other
>You put your ear against the door
>The random chimes, jingles, and looping background music mean that your roommate is playing a video game
>At least she didn’t leave through the window and forget to turn off the TV
>She’s done that before
>There are a lot of quirks of having a pegasus roommate that nobody thought to tell you about
>One of them is that if a window is large enough, it’s also a door
>You knock again
>“Casey, my arms are full! Open up!”
>You put your ear against the door one more time
>The video game noises continue
>You wait while with your ear to the door before conceding that it probably would have been faster to put down a bag and unlock it yourself
>No sense in wasting any more time
>You place a bag on the floor, fish out your keys, and let yourself in
>As expected, Pillow Case is using the PlayStation
>Those hoof-compatible controllers you bought for her were a bad idea
>She gets way too ‘immersed’ in story driven games
>She’s not even doing anything in the game she’s playing right now
>Just directing a boy band around an open field so they can pick up stuff
>You waddle your way over to the fridge
>Midway through putting away all the stuff that needs to be kept cold, a rule 63 version of Posh Spice in the video game declares that he’s come up with a new recipe
>Okay, there’s no way she was so deeply into the game that she didn’t hear you
>That’s idle dialogue that you’ve heard from this game a dozen times before
>You put away the rest of the refrigerated goods quickly so you can help Pillow Case with her gaming problem
>>
>>30405879
>Strutting up behind her doesn’t get her attention either
>Leaning over the back of the couch also doesn’t do anything
>You do get a good look at her face, though
>Eyes fixed on the screen, expression blank, seemingly random ear twitches…
>This pone is totally in the zone
>It’s like strapping into the hoof-compatible controller means plugging into her brain
>The controller itself is a malformed lovechild of a pair of moon boots and one of those old Rock Band/Guitar Hero drum sets
>You’re at a loss for how Velcro-ing her hooves to that thing can hijack her brain the way it does
>Maybe you’re barking up the wrong tree
>It makes more sense that the way into her brain would be through her head
>You crouch down behind the couch to get a look at the back of her head
>Hmm
>You can’t tell if there’s a plug back there
>There appears to be a pony’s ponytail in the way
>This is easily rectified
“Pilly.”
>You flick her pony ponytail off to the left
>Nothing there
>Her mane feels nice tho
>Just to be thorough, you flick her pony^2 tail off to the right
>This does not reveal anything either
>“Nuh…”
>She turns her head slightly away from your prodding
>Perhaps it’s a wireless connection?
>Messing with her hair seems to be interfering with her connection
“Pillow Caaaaaase.”
>The ponytail on this pony must be a cleverly disguised antenna
>You flick it back and forth, getting a steady rhythm going
>“Nuhhhhhhh! Stop it!”
“I wouldn’t have started if you noticed me earlier.”
>“When did you even get here?”
>Success!
>Pillow Case has been liberated from the mind controlling controller
>>
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>>30405886
allright
>>
Whoops, I forgot to namefag. I'll pastebin this later.

>>30405886
“I was knocking on the door two minutes ago.”
>She turns around just enough to see you
>“You were? I didn’t hear anything.”
“Of course you didn’t, silly Pilly.”
>“I’m not being silly.”
“Yes you are. You’re silly Pilly the Sony pony ”
>“I’m not a Sony pony either. I played tons of Pokémon Go.”
“Everyone played Pokémon Go, silly Sony pony.”
>She pauses her game and unstraps herself from the controller, turning around fully to lean on the back of the couch
>“Not everyone can say they’ve single-hoofedly kept Team Mystic from holding any gyms in this town for a whole week.”
“True, but not everyone has wings to chase down a wild Dragonite that’s halfway across town.”
>Casey shrugs one hoof off to the side
>“That doesn’t prove me wrong.”
“I’m not trying to prove you wrong. I’m trying to prove that you’re a silly pony, Pilly. You and your silly Sony Pony PlayStation.”
>“I already told you, I’m not being silly.”
>She brings her hoof back in to her chest as she raises her chin and closes her eyes
>“It is unbefitting of a mare of my bloodline.”
>Uh what
>Her bloodline?
>She ain’t said nothin’ bout no bloodlines before
“There’s no way you’re a noble or something.”
>“On the contrary, dear roommate. I am a descendant of King and Queen Set!”
>Not ringing a bell
“Was this covered in Equestrian History 101? I don’t remember this being in the syllabus. Or the final exam. Or anywhere.”
>Pilly’s eyes go wide in shock
>She rears back slightly from the back of the couch
>“Were they not in the textbooks?! For shame! Their dynasty is a patchwork of many cultures! Even today, the micro-fibers of their influence are woven into all aspects of your life!”
>Doubt.png
“Really?”
>She smiles proudly
>“Yes! The capital and foundation of their kingdom is in Box Springs. Quality cloth is our native currency. The dynasty flourished when the one we call The Comforter was our king.”
>>
One post remaining after this.

>>30405894
>Without warning, she flares out her wings and poses majestically with a hoof pointed off into the distance
>“Soon we shall reach a thread count to surpass even that silken age! We will wrap up both worlds in our warm embrace!”
>There is no way you wouldn’t have heard of this if it’s as great as she’s making it out to be
“You’re making this up.”
>Her majestic pose droops
>Her smile and optimism are gone
>She looks disappointed with you
>What she says next conveys no emotion
>It’s a simple statement of fact
>“You don’t believe me.”
“I can’t. Where did you even get this from?”
>Pillow Case narrows her eyes and leans as far as she dares towards you over the back of the couch
>You are nearly nose-to-snout with her as she whispers to you
>“It is embedded in the Memory Foam.”
>For a moment, you actually feel sort of intimidated by this small, soft horse
>Then your brain catches up
“Wait a minute, was this just an excuse to make puns about bedding?”
>She goes back to her normal backwards sitting position with a genuinely proud smile
>“Yep. *Now* I’m being silly.”
>She giggles
>You can’t help but join her
>God, she’s so adorable you’re going to catch diabetes
>“All right, seriously though. I’m no Sony Pony. Let’s play some Smash Bros so I can prove it to you.”
>>
>>30405903
“Hey, if it breaks this RPG binge you’ve been on, I’m game. You get waaaay too into those things.”
>She hops off of the couch and swaps around the game consoles
>“It’s really fun to go through an entire series from start to finish, though! I just wish they’d kept the battles slow enough that I didn’t need a 4-hoof controller.”
>Smash Bros starts booting up as you walk around to the front of the couch and tug her PlayStation controller out of the way
“Not needing to magic-proof computers actually has its disadvantages. Who would have thought?”
>“It’s that or the ratio of hands to hooves on Earth. On an individual basis it skews towards ponies, but…”
>Actually, that reminds you of something
>You scoop up a normal controller
“Hey, can I get a one life handicap?”
>Pilly shoves the Nintendo controller over towards the couch
>It’s much the same as the Playstation one, but more colorful
>“What for?”
“Making me wait at the door.”
>She flutters up onto the couch
>“Someday, you won’t have an excuse for a handicap.”
“Someday. But until then, I will never admit that it’s because your Jigglypuff main is almost unbeatable.”
>She straps in to the new controller
>“What can I say? I’m the best at soft.”

The End. I really need to stop writing these short little things and focus on my main story, but they're way too fun.
>>
>>30405911

I really like it
>>
>>30402345
Pillow case is oldest if judged by birth time
>>
>pony neighbors
>>
>>30407078
How so?
>>
>>30408176
She's a premature birth from a pair of twins. Her twin brother was a full-term pregnancy.
Pilly's premature birth contributed to her being smol. Her twin is bigger than her but technically younger by a little bit.
>>
>>30408400
But in her story, she said she was the "second born". Unless she has an even olderer brother
>>
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>"Anonymous, this *ahem* "Music Television" is atrocious."
>"They play absolutely nothing reminiscent of music, and I am fairly certain I spent the last 2 hours losing braincells viewing a program called "Teen mom"."
>>
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>>30408958
"Check the internet. MTV hasn't been good for decades."
>"Right then."
>Octavia trots away to go use the computer
>You don't know how she does it with hooves, but she manages
>Indistinct music comes from the other room for a few minutes
>Then silence
>This silence goes on for a worryingly long time
>As such, you worry
>And then you decide to go check on Tavi to see what you're worrying about
>Open the door to find Octavia in a state of shock
>She's staring blankly at a finished YouTube video
"Octavia? Is something wrong?"
>She swivels the swivelly chair to face you
>"Yes. Something is quite out of order here."
"What happened?"
>She fidgets with her hooves while she answers
>"I- I tried to look up one of the rock bands I saw in your album collection."
>She reaches over towards the mouse, almost flinching away as she touches it
"What I found was... bloody Tartarus, I'm not sure what in the name of Celestia's left teat I found!"
>She clicks the replay button
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqiHiMuEkes
>What the fuck
"I think I share your opinion."
>Octavia leans back in the chair and sighs at the ceiling
>"Oh, thank heavens! I was worried that this was the state of popular music."
>"Hey guys, is something going on in here?"
>You turn to the sound of a new voice in the doorway and make eye contact with Vinyl Scratch
>She nods in acknowledgement to you while chewing on a granola bar
>Then she notices the screen
>"Oh heeeeey, I dought I regognished dat muchic."
"You've heard this stuff before?!"
>Vinyl swallows her mouthful of granola
>"Yeah, Neil is hilarious! If you liked that one, check out 'Crocodile Chop.'"
>She wanders off without another word to either you or Octavia, humming something about the 'slicky-wiki-wickest there is
>Whatever that is
>You glance at the cellist, who is already turning her head to look at you
>You stare at eachother, then back out the door at the retreating unicorn
>It's safe to say that both of you know less about music now
>>
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>>30409486
>"K-FILLY request line, playing Earth's greatest hits for new arrivals, what do you wanna hear?"
>'Play that one song again! You know, it's all like weer neer nennenene waaaoo neeer wubwuwbuwbwu, that one!'
>"You mean 'beep boop boop bop'?"
>>
>>30408958
I told you not to watch the Jew Box, Octavia
>>
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>>30409804
>"No, it was more like 'beep boop bop bzzzzz wubwubwub.'"
>"Bop beep boop wub wub bzzzz wub?"
>"Boop bop beep wub wub wub bzzzz."
>>
>>30409870
HANG UP THE FUCKING PHONE, THAT'S A COLLECT CALL TO A RADIO STATION IN SPACE
>>
>ywn a pony breeding farm
>>
>>30409979
>Free room and board
>Your only obligation is to have lots of sex

If ponies are anything like humans, this would appeal to them.
>>
>>30407603
>Mow lawn
>Pony neighbor peeks over the fence and asks "Are you going to eat that?"
>>
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>>30409804
>>
>>30412311
Sir this is the police we have reports of you making art that's too cute

Please open your door and come quietly
>>
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>>30411386
>>
>>30412311
Who is this drawfag? I like the art
>>
How many ponies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>>
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>>30414453
>>
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>>30412311
fuckin bastard
>>
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>>30415211
>>
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>>30415642
I meant that it made me laugh

tail lifter
>>
It's time PIE.
>>
>>30415129
Cute
>>
>>30417057
Time for what? Morning walkies?

You realize that ponies don't need that, right?
>>
>insert short story about pillow case trying and failing to get really comfy.
>Anon comes in and cuddles her
>Falls asleep perfectly
>Punchline: the snuggle is real
>>
>>30418100
>ponies see earth movies
>make rip off's with boop and snuggle based villains and plots
>"CASEY, IF WE DON'T BOOP AT A RATE OF 50MPH, THIS BUS WILL EXPLODE."
>"Houston, we have a boop."
>"You're gonna need a bigger snuggie."
>>
>>30418119
"You want answers?!"
>"I WANT THE BOOP!"
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BOOP!
>>
>>30412311
>>30413660
>>30414719
>>30415129
>>30415642

It's been a while since we had a drawfriend. Thanks!
>>
>>30418119
>>30418568
>"Anon, I wanna go see 'Boopday The 13th: Pony Voorhees lives'!"
>>
>>30419846
>Pony adaptations of horror movies are just games of tag and hide-and-seek, or some combination of the two
>After the credits, all the "tagged" characters come back and go out for snacks with the rest of the characters
>It's actually really cozy and gains a surprisingly large human audience
>>
>>30420246
>Pony covers their eyes during a """slasher""" flick
>"Don't worry, Casey, it's ketchup, not real blood."
>>
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>>30418100
>>
>>30422251
YES. You are a good drawfriend!
>>
>>30414719
This is cute!
>>
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>>30422251
>>
Soon™
>>
>>30418119
>if i booped you,would you die?
it would be extremely cute
>you re a big pony
for you
>>
>>30424471
>If I booped you, would you squee?
It would be extreamly cute.
>Well you are a little pony...
For you.

FTFY
>>
>>30424458
How soon?
>>
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>"The Great and Powerful Trixie wishes to become a Blaine-iac, Anonymous!"
>>
>>30423341
Shoddy
>>
>>30423341
Not bad.
>>
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>>30424483
>>
>>30425936
Not good.
>>
>>30426573
Now I feel special. You're a cool guy.
>>
>>30428188
[obligatory meme response]

More green soonish on the topic of >>30401738
>>
It's late. Leave a mango on your roof to attract batponies.
>>
>>30430358
>sound of hooves on roof during the day
>God damn pegasi
>wanting the sound of hooves on roof at night
Fuck that.
>>
>>30430562
I love it. It'd be like Christmas every night, and I could think about the cute little poners up on top of my house and deal with lawsuits when one losses their footing and can't get airborne quick enough to avoid the ground.
>>
>>30431213
>avoid lawsuits
>just remembered stories about robbers getting injured on the job winning lawsuit cases
God fucking damn it, Anon. And I was having a nice night out drinking alone and watching sluts dance.
>>
>>30425317
Very soon
>>
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As mentioned earlier, Skype has been brainstorming to flesh out Pillow Case's immediate family.

After several days of discussion, some brief refreshers on the canon of Casey, a decision to retcon a minor detail because we did that second step a bit later than we should have, and a bit of sleuthing to try and find out if Mr. Blue is still around, we present to you...

Quilt Cover, Pillow Case's brother!
She's his older sister by about a month.
It's complicated.
>>
>>30432516
>Be lounging around in your barely air conditioned college-town apartment
>The current weather is hot, hazy, and humid
>It smells like two species of body odor and lemon-scent air freshener in here
>Pillow Case has completely forgone her hoodie and thrown it over the back of a chair
>You're stripped down to an undershirt and shorts
>Your little pony roommate and you are laying back and staring at the ceiling to avoid generating any more heat
>"Ughhhh... Earth weather suuuuuucks..."
"Yeah."
>"Did the news say anything about the Earth Weather Teams?"
"Nope. There's only, like, three of them. They must have better things to do."
>The fan oscillates over the two of you, changing Pilly's groan of disappointment to one of pleasure
>Its cool stream is gone all too quickly
>Then a second breeze comes out of nowhere, drawing your attention
>Pilly is fanning herself with her wingies to prolong the sensation
>She gives up after a moment, probably realizing it's not worth the effort
"Are we out of popsicles?"
>She glances over towards the shopping list on the fridge door's whiteboard
>"We're out of popsicles."
>Casey didn't even get up to check
>You wouldn't have either, but she didn't
"Is that on the list because we're running out, or are we out?"
>The fan sweeps by again
"You know what? Nevermind."
>Both of you return to staring at the ceiling
>Casey pipes up again as the fan's buzzing changes pitch, signalling it's about to change directions
>"Did I ever tell you about my brother?"
>In passing, maybe
"Which one? I think you said you have four."
>"Five now. Just got word of a new one."
"Congrats."
>"Thanks."
>>
>>30432520
>The fan returns to bathe you in sweet, cool wind
>"I think my mom likes being a mom way too much. She had twins twice in a row and she still decided to have another."
>Pilly is making a massive understatement
>You've never met her mother, but if this is anything to go by...
"Jesus."
>She does a little wing-shrug before collapsing back down again
>"I've heard it happens to some pegasi. Overactive maternal instinct. 'Mama Bird' always wants an egg in the nest."
"So which are you? The oldest?"
>"Second oldest."
>The fan sweeps by you again, cooling you just enough to realize that doesn't make sense
>Two sets of twins and one newborn, but she's not the oldest?
"I don't get it. How are you second?"
>"I was born over a month before Quilt Cover. He likes to call himself my big brother, but he knows that's not how it works."
>You are now even more confused
"Aren't pony pregnancies longer than that? A lot longer?"
>"They are. Problem was that there wasn't enough room for me and my brother the first time mom had twins."
>The fan swings your way once more
>Oh, good
>Pillow Case isn't delerious from heat
>That makes at least one of you
>"Doctors referred her to a hospital on Earth. Long story short, Quilt pushed me out so he could stay. I was still in an incubator when he was born."
>That's sort of grody
>It sounds like it might make sense
>You're no Pre-Med major, so you'll take her at her word
>>
>>30432528
"He doesn't have big brother status."
>Casey stops looking at the ceiling to speak directly to you
>"My actual older brother says that too. He went to law school. I was out. It counts."
>The wonderful air current of the fan returns
>"I was just thinking. I'm smaller than Quilt because of that procedure. I'm probably going to be the smallest when everypony grows up. That's not a bad thing right now."
"Why's that?"
>"Remember that lesson in Bio about smaller animals not holding heat as well as larger animals?"
>You very vaguely do
>Now you're all caught up on her line of thought
"Is that helping at all?"
>"Not really."
>Pillow Case sighs as the fan passes over
>"The only thing I haven't taken off is my coat and I'm still too hot."
>She isn't wearing a-
>Nevermind, she must mean her fur
"Are you going to take that off too?"
>"Nah."
>The fan clicks and turns
>"Well, maybe. One of us would have to get the razor first."
>You have just enough energy to quickly bring a finger to the tip of your nose
>In the corner of your eye, you see Casey with a hoof on her snout
"Did you see which one of us was first?"
>"No. Did you?"
"I didn't."
>She lets her hoof drop off her nose
"Good. That was a silly idea anyway."
>You allow your head to loll over towards Casey so you can see her clearly
"Yeah. It was."
>You move your finger from the tip of your nose to hers
>Boop


The end. This was a fun collab!
(edit: saw a line I missed somehow while copying to 4chan.)
>>
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ok so can someone direct me to pastebins of PiE stories with lewd/clop? thanks.
>>
>>30433224
This is a family-friendly board.
>>
>>30433285
In the same way that Blockbuster Video was family friendly, but had that one room in the back.

I'm sure we have some clop around here somewhere. I know I've seen some here before. I just don't know if it got binned.
>>
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>>30409486
Go on.
>>
It's
>A FUCKING LEAF
day, how will ponies celebrate?
>>
>>30432516
So /mlp/ is dead and you guys decide to run off to your own little skype group instead of discussing things here with the rest of the club. That's gay. You're gay. How the fuck does older by a month work? Are they half siblings? Raised in the same house? Do they fuck?
>>
nope
>>
>>30434102
Going through the "It's a Small World After All" ride at Didney Worl is part of the mandatory orientation for all new arrivals.

As such, expect every pony that's aware it's Canada day to be dressed like a mountie and putting maple syrup on everything that's remotely edible.
Also hockey.
>>
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>>30434384
To be fair, there wasn't a thread up at the time. There should have been, but then there were the leaked episodes on Australian TV and finals week. The choices were between posting when the board is busy and letting it get bumped off, posting when we were busy and not being there to bump it, and waiting. We chose waiting.

And yeah, it is kind of gay. In the spirit of Canada Day, sorry.

To answer your other questions:

It says in the greentext.
They're paternal twins.
This wasn't discussed, but probably.
No, but there was a silly conversation in Skype about how pegasi puffing out their chest fluff is a courtship display to other pegasi. Casey and Quilt have done it to eachother a few times accidentally and it was really awkward during their teenage years.


I'll post more Casey Canon if you want me to.
>>
>>30436292
For those good bumps.
>>
>>30436702
For those good bumps
>>
>>30437559
Good bumps for those.
>>
>>30435319
/r/ing ponies playing hockey against humans
>>
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Heeey I've missed this thread
>>
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>>30436702
>>30437559

>Be Anon
>Be walking around the neighborhood with Rarity
>She's very fitness-conscious
>Not nearly as much as Rainbow Dash, but she likes to keep her figure
>"Excuse me, Anon? I have a bit of a work related question."
"What's up?"
>"Well, I finally got a chance to go to the mall. I was looking through the clothing stores and... erm, I beg your pardon if this is a rather sensitive question. What is it with humans and their... bumps?"
"...Wut?"
>"You know, bumps!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
>"You can't possibly expect me to believe that! You have one, right here!"
>You see the pure white hoof coming at your crotch far too late
>You walk straight into it
>So
>This is how you're going to be spending your day
>Writhing in pain
>Rarara jumps up onto your chest, oblivious to your pain
>"And then ladies sometimes have two right here. What ARE they?"
"get me an ice pack, right now"
>"It is quite warm out, but where are your manners?"
"i'm not askinGGG"
>"I know you're not! You didn't even say 'please!' Come now, what's all this about?"
>Forget now, you might not be able to come for days
"you punch my penis, i get to be mad at you, that's how this works now get me an ice pack PLEASE oh god"
>Realization and horror dawn on Rarity's features
>"I just...?! Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I'm so sorry! I should have figured that was-"
"apologize later, pain is NOW"
>"I-I'll be right back."
>She trots off in a hurry
>You're lucky she only likes walking around the block
>The retreating hoofbeats on the sidewalk suddenly stop
>Why did she stop
>Stopping is not good
>"Wait a moment..."
>Fashionhorse returns and stands over you
>"That doesn't make any sense! Why would females of any species have two of those? Those aren't female parts at all!"
"this is not the time"
>"And in such a difficult to conceal place! And so much... heftier than men's, sometimes? Oh my..."
"just get me an ice pack god dammit"
"Very well, but I'm owed an explanation."
>>
Do ponies get white trash?
>be Anon
>walking home through the trailer park
>hear a disturbance
>"You son of a bitch!" yells pony as she throws clothes and objects onto the front lawn of their trailer
>"But baby, I love you!" yells the man standing in his underwear on the patchy yard
>"Go tell that to your girlfriend!" yells pony
>continue walking home
>>
>>30440753
>>
>>30440764
>BUY RIGHT NOW OR YOU HATE AMERICA
Easily the best part about that.
>>
>>30440753
There's an episode in Season 5 where Twilight and Fluttershy have to stop a war between two hillbilly families on adjoining properties. Ponies definitely have something like white trash. Ponies come in a ton of colors though, so I don't know if white trash is the right thing to call it.
>>
>>30441117
>I don't know if white trash is the right thing to call it.
It's clearly hillbilly Americana. Of course it's white trash.
>>
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>"...Does that Tyrone neighbor a' yers' got a job, Anon? Ah always just see em' out there on his porch with a black & mild an' a tallcan a' 211.."
>"HEY! YEAH AHM' TALKIN TA' YOU, "BRUH", YALL BETTER PULL UP THEM BRITCHES FORE' THEY FALL DOWN!"
>>
>>30440753
Where are the magically highly-skilled drawfags when you need them?
>>
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>>30441932

Well clearly it is hillbilly stuff, pic related. One of the families has a fucking survival compound defended with shit that I'm pretty sure hasn't been legal since the 1930s. The only thing stopping them from covering their cannons in duracoat and accessory rails is the fact that Equestria seems not to have those things.

My point is that "white" trash wouldn't be accurate when talking about ponies. Even in the episode it's a red family versus this blue family. Pony trash has too many potential colors. Ponies would have a crayola box fuckin' rainbow of trash.
>>
>You will never live in the same park as Trixie
>She will never become queen of the trailer park for the day every time July 4th comes around
>Her magically conjured fireworks will never be the sort of thing that people come from all around the county to see
>You will never sell fried everything to skim some profit off of the publicity

Why must it be this way?
>>
>>30443356
>you can hear primus and ccr blasting from her trailer
>>
>>30443384
>Blasting from her wagon

FTFY. She doesn't need to buy a trailer.

>YWN share a six pack of beer and some stove-top popcorn with her at sunset because she's your queen every day of the year
>>
>>30443455
This is nice, but it definitely raises the issue that Earth isn't the magic wonderous place it seems for ALL ponies

Some are going to live like Park Avenue, some will settle in Suburbia, and some end up in the ghetto, trailer parks, etc
>>
>>30443504
It doesn't have to be. Paradise is wherever you're happiest being.

Also Earth doesn't have dragons and timberwolves and shit. That's a plus.
>>
>>30440057
Yes.
>>
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>"...Twilight, I don't think the portal had the same effect on me that it's had on all of you."
>>
>>30443654
>timber wolves
Well not in the literal sense.
>>
How would the Twin Packs look like?
>>
>>30445946
We haven't really decided on that.
>>
>>30442283
Camping for the week.
>>
>>30443384
>fireworks go off
>It Aint Me starts playing
>neighborhood Nam vet freaks the fuck out
>>
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>>30445946
>>30446547
Okay, now that I've got my first thing in the morning bump out of the way I can give some more details.

According to the original lore from Mr. Blue, Pillow Case is the youngest (or at least "littlest," we weren't totally clear on this) of six siblings.
Her hometown is Fetluck, Equestria.
Her best friend is Strawberry Jam. She's an earth pony mare whose talent is bartending. Strawberry came to Earth some time before Pillow Case.
Her mother once ate a seagull wing on a dare. She used some kind of sauce to make it more palatable.
Her grandmother has an inherent distrust of humans.

Recent developments are that she has one older brother who went to law school, a younger paternal twin named Quilt Cover, identical twin younger brothers (the Twin Pack), and a baby brother.
Everything below this point is stuff that hasn't been established, but was discussed at some point in this thread or Skype.

Her mother is Comfy Socks. Her father is Hard Case, full name Hardigan Jones Case. Both are pegasi. We assume that the vast majority of her family are also pegasi.
Her father used to work a police force in some capacity. Maybe he was a patrol officer, maybe he was a hard-boiled detective, maybe it was just a desk job. Skype never decided on this.
Her mother is neurotic, possibly because she partied too hard when she was pilly's age and is trying too hard to stay on the straight and narrow path.
Her grandmother isn't fond of the circumstances of Casey's birth.
Mr. Blue commented on the FimFic edition of Pillow Case's story that he brainstormed a bunch of names based on the word "Case" for potential relatives, such as Book Case, Glasses Case, and Closed Case. Closed Case was one that the Skype group liked.
Neither the Twin Pack nor the baby brother's names have been discussed IIRC.
The Twin Pack are either completely identical or the mane color of one is the coat color of the other and vice versa.
The Twin pack are absolute scamps, and roughly CMC age.
>>
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>>30447230
>Strawberry
LUX

FINISH STORY
>>
>>30447241
Come on Lux
>>
>10
>>
>>30443356
I want a Dixie Trixie
>>
>>30449555
What if Dukes of Hazzard, but with Trixie?
>>
>>30450407
Daisy duke trixie
>>
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Fillies with fake ID's trying to get beer and condoms
>>
>>30450557
>"Yes sir we are here to by the adult thing for adults because we're adults."
"You don't even have a cutie mark. Get out."
>>
>>30451181
>"*ahem* I think my OTHER ID, Mr. George Washington may disagree with you, my good man."
>It's monopoly money with 'Reel muney' written on it
>>
>>30448937
>>
>>30447241
How many years it was?
>>
>>30451266
Fuck, now I want to see a oneshot of this.
>>
>>30452840
Three I believe
>>
>>30452849
Me too
>>
>>30447230
>Her grandmother has an inherent distrust of humans.
Where did that come from?
>>
>>30454268
Probably Anon's grandad.
>Sit on my knee kiddo.
>Have I ever told you the story about when the ponies first came to Earth?
>rape
>>
>>30454482
kek
>>
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>>30452849
>>30453755
Thing is cute idea. I like thing.

>Be a young unicorn colt on Earth
>There's going to be a celebration about flags and loud noises tonight
>It happened the same time last year, and it looked like lots of fun!
>You are not missing out on Flags and Loud Noises Day this year, no way
>You take your bags and go down to the local gas station to get some fireworks, which are the best way of making loud noises for Flags and Loud Noises Day
>Humans don't make sense sometimes
>They make loud noises about flags and sell a liquid that's called "gas"
>They do know how to have fun, though
>There are TVs, and internets, and smart phones, and vidya games, and days about making loud noises
>It's the best!
>As you walk up to the gas station, you see a sign on the little store that's attached to it
>'You must be 16 or older to buy fireworks. Show valid License or Learners Permit to buy.'
>Aw darn
>Sixteen is eight whole teens older than you are!
>Wait...
>You were in school just last month
>They wouldn't put you in school if you didn't have permission to learn!
>Fireworks, here you come!
>It's not easy, but you get the door open with your magic
>There's a little jingle from the bells on the door hinge as you walk into the air conditioned store
>You look for the fireworks
>They're in a display behind the counter with an old human guy
>Most of them are gone already
>It looks like there are still some good ones with really long names
>You prop your front hooves up on the counter to talk to the old guy
"Excuse me, sir?"
>"What can I do for ya, pony?"
>You point to the rocket at the very top of the display
"I want that Twizzlebang Thingamajigger, please!"
>He looks at you
>Then he looks at the Twizzlebang Thingamajigger
>Then he looks at you again
>"No can do, kid."
"Aww... why not?! I've got a learner's permit!"
>The old human leans over to get a good look at you
>"I might have believed that if you had a mark in driving, but you're blank. I can't sell it to ya."
>>
>>30455945
>What does driving have to do with anything?
"But I do have a learner's permit!"
>"Let's see your card, then."
>A card?
>What?
>You look through your bags for a card
>Here's one!
>You levitate it out onto the counter, where he picks it up
>He squints and reads the card
>"Ogres and Ow-bly-ettes trading card game? What?"
>Human guy puts the card back down on the counter and looks very concerned about you
>"Son, I'm talking about an identification card. Unless you're some kind of squid wizard or whatever, there's no way this is your driving learner's permit."
>Oh
>Uh
>Play it cool, you've got this
"Yeah! Squizzard. That's me."
>"No it ain't."
>He doesn't believe you
"Yeah it is! I can do magic and stuff!"
>The old man covers his face with his hands
>This is a weird time to play peekaboo, but that's his choice
>"Oh Mother Mary... If you actually know tentacle magic, keep that to yourself. I've heard enough about those Chinese cartoons...."
"What are you talking about? I meant that I don't need matches."
>You grunt and scrunch up your face as you try to do that firestarter spell your dad taught you
>A tiny flame poofs up just ahead of your nose
"See? Wizard!"
>The old man looks out from behind his hands
>His eyes go wide
>"Are you nuts?!"
>He reaches over and grabs the tip of your horn faster than you can react, swatting at the flame with his other hand
>Your magic stops flowing and the flame disappears
>The heat has to go somewhere, though and that somewhere is the tip of your horn
>He pulls his hand away and shakes it in pain
>You barely notice him talking to you as you grab at your overheated horn
>"Dangit, kid! Fire and gas stations don't mix!"
"Owwww..."
>"Ah crap, you ain't hurt, are ya?"
"It's really hot..."
>He sighs and reaches under the counter, returning with a can of soda
>"Here. Free of charge."
>You grab it and hold it against your horn
>It's cold
>It feels really good
"I've saved up a lot of allowance. I can pay for it."
>>
>>30455950
>"No, I insist. Take this too."
>He grabs a rocket and puts it on top of your trading card on the counter
>He's... giving it to you?
"Really?"
>"Of course, really. Now run along and don't tell nobody you got this from me."
"Wow! Thanks, mister!"
>You sweep the card and firework off of the counter and into your bag
>You also pull out a few bills and put those in their place.
>The man raises an eyebrow
>"I told you, they're free of charge, kid."
"But I can't give you nothing! You were nice to me even though I lied."
>He slides the bills back towards you
>"Can't put a price on kindness."
>You slide them back towards him
"But I want to pay!"
>"But you don't have to."
"But I'm giving it to you anyway!"
>He laughs at that
>"You're a good kid! Fine. I'll take it."
>He pockets the bills
>"Maybe you'll get a mark in negotiating how to give away your money. Just don't get one in blowing your han- your hoof off."
>Eep, that doesn't sound nice
>You should be careful with this firework
"I'll be careful. Thanks again!"
>"No problem."
>You back off of the counter and head for the door
>At the door, you call back to him
"Happy Flags and Loud Noises Day!"
>You open the door
>"Happy- wait, what?"
>The door closes behind you with a jingle
>Tonight is going to be fun
>And loud
>And now you get to help make it loud!
>Flags and Loud Noises Day is the best holiday
>>
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>>30455945
>that's eight whole teens older than you are
>>
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>>30455954
>An hour and no responses
This is why the thread never survives.

Cute green, Anon.
>>
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I want a pony barber to get my hair did

Sorry, ladies at the korean barbershop
>>
>>30455945
>>30455950
>>30455954
I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think I love you. Man, that was some super cute shit. Happy, silly, and adorable in just the right amounts. Reminds me of why I fell in love with this place. You're a cool guy.
>>
>>30455954
Funny.
>>
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>"Gonna bag me one a' them vee-rile earthy studs, mhhmm.."
>>
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>>30459528
>"Dangit granny, you know those things are thrice your size! You fixin' to get yourself killed?"
>>
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>"A-and then the other guy was like 'Heh, nothing personnel, kid', and he teleported behind the one guy and cut him into a thousand trapezoidal piece-"
>'Alright, that's it, I'm taking the remote with me when I leave the house now.'
>>
>>30459854
Hush child, let the old mare die happily.
>>
>>30460447
>Rainbow Dash's secret nerdy side would love shitty animes that dump their entire budget into the fight scenes

This and kung fu movies. I bet she'd own the Police Story box set.
>>
Why are all the ponies seem to live or visit only the burgerstan?
Why there aren't any ponies at least visiting, say, Eastern Europe?
Surely there must be ponies whose interests go beyond trash TV and internet.
>>
>>30462118
>"Hey Casey, you want to go on a vacation?"
>'Alright! Where to?'
>"Scenic Gerblakistan!"
>'..W-what? Where's that at?'
>"It's a formerly dissolved soviet union province with a thriving tracksuit industry and majestic squatting places!"
>'I uh..I don't think I want to go.'
>"That's the spirit! In Gerblakistan, vacation goes YOU!"
>>
>>30462118
>asking this the day after July 4
The answer is obvious. We're fucking awesome and every other place wouldn't be as interesting or exciting.

>Bongistan
>Hey pony, you wanna go shooting- Mudding- Hunting- Er... Go lay on the grass?
>Can't. Against the law.
>Oh.
>>
>>30462118
>>30462133
>pony tries to squat
>ends up spending the rest of the vacation on a stretcher
>two months later still mad at Anon about it
>>
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>>30463585
>Griffon tries to squat
>Now the locals don't want her to leave

Would STALKER crossovers count as Eastern Europe, or is that cheating?
>>
Boat
>>
>>30465346
Are there ponies on this boat? Sea ponies in the water around the boat?

Please give us some context, Anon.
>>
>>30465346
Pegasus kiting on a tow line behind a boat.
>>
>>30466259
This sounds like exactly the sort of thing Rainbow Dash would do when introduced to the concept of speedboats.

>"It goes how fast?"
>"And there's a minibar inside?"
>"Dude. Strap me in right now. This is gonna be awesome!"
>>
>>30454268
If I remember correctly, it was in the original Pillow Case story. I'm not sure it's explained.

One theory we had in the Skype group is that she resents Casey not being born naturally.
>>
>>30467697
>she resents Casey not being born naturally
I could get behind that. I don't share the sentiment but I can understand where she's coming from with it.
I just wonder to what degree. Surely it couldn't be open animosity, right? R-right?
Reminds me of that dude with bionic limb, who visited his mother and she burned the prosthesis that night because "God had intended for her son to be crippled"
Worst thing is that this story is probably true.
>>
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>"Why'd your city council vote against my zoning permit, Anon?"
>"I just said I wanted to build a pot stand."
>>
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>>30469008
"You weren't very specific about what kind of pot you would be selling."
>"I'd be selling all kinds of pot! Cast iron, stainless, non-stick-"
"Marijuana?"
>"Yeah sure whatever that is. Wait, I think I might actually not have that last kind."
"Don't worry, I know a guy that can hook you up."
>"Really? Thanks, Anon!"

And that is how Anon finally got the Flower Trio to start chilling the fuck out.
>>
>>30470187
You'd need a hefty dose of horse tranquilizer to calm those three ponies.
>>
>>30470551
I was thinking more along the lines of alternative medicine. You know, better living through chemistry?

Come to think of it, does marijuana affect horses and humans the same way? I'm not saying to go try this, I'm just wondering.
>>
>>30471066
>I'm not saying to go try this, I'm just wondering.
Thank god you said that, I was just about to ask my pony roommate to try some.
>>
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>>30471101
>"I'M FEELING IT."
>'Treehugger, that was oregano.'
>"Call it what you want, dude, it was some killer stuff. Really got my harmonies in sync."
>'No, I meant it wasn't even w-..you know what, nevermind, that's cool.'
>>
>>30471133
>tfw love oregano
>add it in everything
Note to self: never cook for ponies.
>>
>>30471133
Derpy empties our fridge.

Treehugger empties our spice rack.
>>
>>30472105
>rarity empties our wardrobes since "our sense of fashion is beyond saving"
>>
>>30472149
>Twilight empties our book case so she can reorganize it
>>
>>30472163
>week later it's still empty because she still haven't finished reading all the books in them
>>
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>>30472181
>Lyra empties our pantry because she's expecting to find pants in there
>>
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>>30472222
Those silly ponies misusing things again...
>>
>>30472255
Also checked.

>Berry Punch will empty our liquor cabinet
>We don't even have a liquor cabinet, but that didn't stop her
>>
>>30472149
That made me spit.
>>
when ponies have sex is it called missionary or doggy style?
>>
>>30474208
Silly anon, ponies reproduce through hugs.
>>
>>30447241
FINISH STORY
>>
>ywn have a cozy apartment and live with the main 6 while they get adjusted to earth
Why live?
>>
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>"AHH, FUCK! ANONYMOUS, THESE FUCKING HUMAN """AUTHORS""" SUCK!"
>"HEMMINGWAY WAS LIKE HAVING HEART SURGERY PERFORMED VIA MY RECTUM WITH A BARB-WIRE SLINKY!"
>>
>>30476155
Because it could happen some day. You just have to wait for bioengineering and/or robotics to reach the point of making ponies, or maybe until some weird interdimensional stuff happens.
>>
>>30476715
You're just mad that Twilight Sparkle has a book named after her and you don't.
>>
>>30476715
"Maybe you should take a little break from books. Do you want to watch some TV? I bet you'd like Star Trek."
>"Hoch 'oH legh jIH. jIH ghItlh jIH vaj lut tlhaQ vaj nga'chuq Riker rolDaj pov 'ej vIghaj laH ghet jIH."
"Uh... do you want a glass of water or something? That was a pretty nasty coughing fit."
>"I was speaking Klingon, you pleb."
"You were? What did you say?"
>"If you didn't understand what I said, you don't deserve to know."
>>
>>30479348
I think it's safe to say Moonie should be called nerdhorse instead of "that other bookhorse".
>>
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Someone new moved in, and guess who it is? It's [roll to fill in the blank]!

Last two digits of your roll determine the character, third determines how far away they live. 1 is so close that you could talk to them whenever you want just by raising your voice, 10 is on the other side of town. Re-roll or include their owner if your roll lands on Winona or Gummy or something.

So, how's your new neighbor?
>>
>>30483300
sure
>>
>>30484205
>scumbag steve royalty horse
I'll just pretend to not be home if he ever knocks
>>
>>30484205
>Living down the street from Blueblood

Oh jeez, I feel bad for you already.
>>
>>30484205
>>30484214
What if ponies finally got fed up with his shit and kicked him out of their world altogether?
Wouldn't you help Blueblood learn how to stop being such an insufferable cunt?
Wouldn't you help him take back what's rightfully his from Celestia?
>>
silly ponies misunderstanding human culture
>>
>>30484305
>Equestria Girls Earth is a dumping ground for threats to Equestria
>Our Earth is a dumping ground for nuisances to Equestria

Seems legit.

>>30484214
I doubt he'd ever leave the house to do his own errands. Make sure it's not one of his maids before you turn out the lights and pretend to be away.
>>
I wish you a good night, PiE
>>
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>>30486305
>"It's alright, Anon, I obviously knew it wasn't road-safe to begin with. The DMV knew, too."
>'..Well, yeah, it's a fucking rocket ship, time tr-'
>"I mean I don't even rear signaling on this thing, and the missile ports obviously have to go before I can start driving this thing in traffic."
>>
>>30487785
>>
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>>30483300
>>
>>30483300
Roll
>>
>>30483300
Might as well
>>
Do you think ponies in China would be in danger of being eaten? I hear they serve fried pony dicks at certain restaurants in Beijing.
>>
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>>30490879
I hope not. Pony is not for cooking.

Unfortunately, China has a habit of putting anything in their mouth that they think has magic powers. Hopefully they'll realize that keeping the pony alive, in one piece, and uncooked, they'll have indefinite access to magical pony-parts whenever they want.
>>
>>30491141
>Hopefully they'll realize that keeping the pony alive, in one piece, and uncooked, they'll have indefinite access to magical pony-parts whenever they want.
And so the chinese pony trafficking began.
>indefinite access to magical pony-parts whenever they want
lewd
>>
>>30484305
Sounds like a good story idea.
>>
>>30491451
Write it.
>>
tail lifter
>>
>>30491299
>slave trafficking
Well, it's mildly better than the alternative.
>>
>>30493736
I'm sure ponies would see it in similar light.
>>
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>"Now ya see? THIS is music! Why don't more humans like this, Anonymous?"
>"It's wholesome and enjoyable for all!"
>"Woo! I wanna take this when we go in the car!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHozn0YXAeE
>>
>>30494352
A changeling will suck out a pony's love.

A person named Ling will just suck the pony.

Not too bad an arrangement, all things considered.
>>
So, with regards to Pillow being born preemie http://www.lovemeow.com/kitten-born-a-week-before-his-littermates-now-7-months-later-2090277979.html?from=cm
>>
>>30490879
Found a video about such a restaurant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc0KV3NvmNw
>mfw he says the yak penis tastes the best
>>
>>30495291
but... why?
>>
Just throwing this out here.

What if the reason Pillow's granny dislikes humans so much is because she believes that instead of requiring human tech to save her life, she would have been better off with magic medicine or may not have needed anything at all? She thinks that the use of human medical sciences stunted her innate pegasus magic, and somewhat robbed her of something that is extremely defining for a pegasus?

Either that or she was a victim of the First Contact war.
>>
>>30496354
>the First Contact war
what
>>
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>>30495291
>"Yaks have best soup in restaurant. Restaurant perfect!"

>>30496354
Let's go with that first one. I like the idea of her thinking that Casey was saved by getting strapped into a bunch of uncaring machines when all she really needed was some love and a bottle of warm milk.

>>30497152
It was a thumb war. The ponies lost by default.
>>
>>30497517
>inb4 7 hour war
>>
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>>30498087
>7 Hour War

That's a lot longer than I'd expect a thumb war to last against a species without thumbs. Minotaurs would require our best thumb-wrestlers. Griffons would at least require a thick glove to prevent scratching. Ponies? They're not equipped to compete.

Now pick up that can.
>>
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>>30442283
>>
>>30498613
>Drawfag's back

Aw yiss
>>
>>30498087

>Though the war only lasted a few hours, it nonetheless changed humanity and equinity forever.
>What is believed to be a weapons misfire during a display of magic, quickly escalated into a full on firefight.
>In order to end the conflict with the alien race as soon as possible, a low yeild nuclear weapon was detonated over an unpopulated area as a show of force.
>Celestia retaliated by forming a gravitational lens above the Earth's atmosphere, and glassed small portions of Southern North America.
>Faced with an unprecedented enemy, the United States and Soviet Union formed an alliance so that they may put aside their differences and unite against a common enemy.
>Things could have progressed much worse, had celestia not requested a ceasefire that ended open hostilities.
>Over the next 40 years, this cease fire would simmer down to a truce, and then finally a peace treaty in the mid 90s with the opening of the portal for civilians.
>Though the war is long over, many equestrians and humans remember the conflict and harbour much hate towards the other species.
>>
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>>30484305
>>30492281
>>
>>30500015
I'm not a huge fan of the whole "humans and ponies go to war" trope, but I also don't like grimdark in general.
>>
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>>30500900
>>
>>30501297
What did you fucking do
>>
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>>30501297
>>
>>30501572
His horn is missing.

Other than that, you're based, drawfag.
>>
>>30501563
>What did you fucking do

I ask that question every time I come to this piece of shit train wreck board.
>>
7-hour pillow war, all machines that shoot pillows allowed
>>
>>30501730
I, for one, welcome our new pony overlords.
>>
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>>30501572
>>
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>>30501971
>>
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>>30502223
>>
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>>30502365
>>
>>30502447
and how.
>>
>>30502447
It will end with sore ass and tears
>>
>>30502447
I bet he would never want to go back
>>
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>>30502447
>>
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>>30503936
>>
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>>30504032
>"Dear, can you call Animal Control?"
>"Some weird llama with a horn just kind of...materialized from nothing on the street."
>>
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>>30504032
>>
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>>30504201
>>
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>>30504164
>"Nigel! That's no way to treat a new arrival. What would the neighbors think?"
>>
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>>30504248
>>
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>>30504374
>>
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>>30504615
>>
>>30504812
more
>>
>>30504812
TODAY?

WHY IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, OFCOURSE
>>
>>30504812
I think this may be the first time I've seen Anon referred to as "jaunty."
>>
>>30507137
Shoutingisfun has jaunty Anons. They're always smiling and shit.
>>
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>>30504812
>>
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>>30507452
>>
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>>30507460
>>
>>30507460
>>30507464
where'd his horn go
>>
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>>30507464
>>
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>>30508440
>>
>>30508639
Go on
>>
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>"My word...we have ones JUST like these back home, Anonymous."
>'..Yes, I've been, and seen your vast array of pony utensils.'
>"Think of the applications for it.."
>'You realize it's just a fork, right?'

Ponies are fascinated with the similarities shared by our worlds
>>
>>30508639
scared fancy poni
>>
>>30495263
She would have had a rough few weeks right after she was born. I did some Googling. Apparently there are a lot of developmental stuff that gets weird after a premature birth.

>>30509126
>"These oats are so... oat-y. Am I making sense?"
>'No.'
>"Do you think they'd export this to Equestria? I'd totally buy them if they did."
>'I dunno. Maybe. Are they really that different from Equestrian oats?'
>"Yes! I mean, no, but that's why I said yes."
>>
>>30510894
Depends on how premature, but yeah, there can be lots of complications.
>>
>>30510894
>"These oats are so... oat-y. Am I making sense?"
Is Sun Butt high or something?
>>
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>>30512382
>"Anonymous, I ate the alfalfa you had growing in your closet but I don't think it was alfalfa and do you have any more."
>>
boop
>>
>>30512382
>Cartoon horses come to Not-Horseworld
>They constantly get hung up on how detailed everything is

It's that or Celestia's into 'Wake and Bake.'
>>
>>30483300
let's see who the new neighbor is.
>>
>>30483300
Rolling in the 90s
>>
>>30516070
>Roomies with Derpy
Best timeline
>>
>>30516070
>>30516115
>roomies with Derpy
I hope you don't mind the Element of Clumsy trashing the apartment.
>>
>>30483300
Rollin
>>
>>30517255
>best milf nearly nextdoor
Noice
>>
>>30516903
Derpy would be a good roommate. She's a nice horse. Just make sure everything is child-safe.
>>
Would the elements of harmony be recognized as celebrities on Earth?
>>
>>30518320
I bet they would, especially if the TV show is a thing. They'd already be TV stars. This story starts touching on that theme a couple of chapters in. It's also cozy as fuck.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/357758/the-platonic-pony-petting-caf
>>
>>30512445
>ywn smoke several joints with Sun Butt and nearly die laughing as she makes the sun and the moon dance in the sky
>Luna will never chase you through streets, firing death beams, because after Celestia emptied every bakery in Canterlot of any form of cake when munchies kicked in, she got depressed because the sun on her butt grew into a red giant
>>
>>30520334
>Implying Luna wouldn't catch you easily

The problem with doing drugs with ponies is that you can't always tell when the hallucinations start.

"Whoah, dude, the joint is floating in the air."
>"Woah... wait, I'm making it do that."
"Dude."
>"Duuuude."
>"Sister? What in Equestria's name is that smell?!"
>"Check it out. Luna's hair is stars."
"Wow. This shit is a lot stronger than I thought."
>>
>>30520842
But anon, not being able to tell "reality" with technicolor talking pony from drug-induced hallucinations is half the fun.
>>
>>30520878
I'm not going to argue with that. I'm just saying that Luna not catching Anon is shenanigans.
>>
>>30520927
Maybe she's just too angry and can't concentrate to do complex magic?
>>
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>celestia goes to Philadelphia because she hears it's always sunny
>she meets these people
>>
Who would be more uptight regarding various frivolities, like recreational drugs, fooling around when away from public's eye, especially in other world and things like that?
I'm thinking Luna. A thousand years on the moon, plus being old-fashioned and all would do that to you.

Would Luna even set hoof on Earth? It seems that the only princess brave enough to visit Humania is Love Butt, with Celestia occasionally visiting for some diplomacy stuff.
>>
>>30521703
>set hoof
Stop talking like that. It's annoying.
>>
>>30522130
"Set foot" only applies to creatures that have one.
Unless you want Luna to wake up one day with feet instead of hooves.
>>
>>30522130
>>30522178
You're both right.

>>30521703
I could see Luna fitting in with some of the more conservative enclaves of our world. She'd probably enjoy sharing tea with Queen Elizabeth or visiting an Amish town.
>>
>>30521210
Has this been done before? I feel like it's too obvious not to have been done before.
>>
Is it ethical to boop the pony?
>>
>>30524437
I've been here since 2013 and i've never seen it done
>>
>>30525821
Being a crossover, I'd expect to see it on FiMfiction instead of 4chan.
>>
>>30524437
It has not. I haven't seen the show enough to be able to write them properly even if I wanted to.
>>
It's a shame that so many crossovers are

>Character from franchise X is dropped into Equestria

The opposite of the formula works just as well. ITT fictional universes that would benefit from the addition of pony.
>>
>>30527731
Most stories are just that but dropping pony in willy nilly is just retarded.9
>>
>>30527731
>fictional universes
>Earth
We must escape from this false reality
>>
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>>30527731
Westerns seem like an obvious choice.
>>
>>
boop
>>
>>30531369
Poni neighborhood watch never actually confronts someone. Passive-aggressive cuteness is their main weapon.
>>
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>>30527731
I just came up with a theme song for one. I'm very proud of it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApqoOJ3t558

What a pillow
With softness and comfort through the night
What a pillow
I'm resting and I'll snuggle with you
I took my hoodie off
It's in the washing machine!


I sleep at night, not with plushies, but with you
In my time, there'll be no one else
Cute, it's the way I look to you
I'm still in a dream, Tail Lifter!


Some nights, you can't shut down your brain
And you think maybe you have insomnia
No big deal, I'll be right by your side
'Til the alarm says that it's time!


I sleep at night, not with plushies, but with you
In my time, there'll be no one else
Cute, it's the way I look to you
I'm still in a dream, Tail Lifter
I'm still in a dream, Tail Lifter!
(Tail Lifter...)
>>
The tail lifter meme needs to end.
>>
>>30533760
Like hell it does, you vulva flaunter
>>
>>30530954
That's adorable
>>
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>>30532898
>>
>>30534276
>complaining about seeing horsepuss
What are you gay?
>>
>be a pony
>be walking around with none of those clothes restricting you all the time
>come to earth to visit a friend
>ten minutes later a hoo-man in a funny uniform with a shiny badge escorts you to a local ponice department
>there you are fined for "indecent exposure", whatever that is
>get told to wear pants next time you visit Earth
>go to a local store to buy pants, doing your best to not do anything indecent while exposed
>enter the store and become confused with a selection
>there seem to be no pony pants in here
>ask a hoo-man if they have pony pants
>says he'll look it up
>look around to search for pony pants
>find a pair of not-pony pants that would look good on you
>you grab the them and ask cashier where is the change room
>hoo-man points at it with his weird monkey talon thingy
>when you turn to head there he asks why you aren't wearing pants
>tell him that's why you're here for
>he says you can't try on the pants if you don't wear pants
>tells you to leave the store
>you do so
>now you're on the street, still pants-less and also confused
>hoo-mans are weird
>>
ponies are too innocent and trusting
this can't possibly end well
>>
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>>30534537
>Ponies coming to Earth are having trouble getting into the swing of things.
>The human world is weird...
>Never to let a good opportunity go to waste, you set up a 501(c)(3).
>The Red Thong.
>They set up booths outside of Equestrian ports of entry and hand out free underwear and pamphlets about human culture.
>You man one of the booths yourself, every day.
>Charity always has been a fucking scam, and your little organization now has outreach all over the world, helping ponies to not get arrested and fit in better.
>Which means your fucking rich.
>You still work the booth everyday though, helping new ponies.
>It was never about the money.
>You never even thought of it, honestly.
>You just wanted the pleasure of touching those plots, and being able to slip those panties on over those big, juicy flanks.
>God damn, life was good.
>>
boop
>>
>>30534537
>Hoo-man ponice stop you again when you go outside
>They ask you why you still aren't wearing pants
>You explain that the store wouldn't let you wear pants unless you were already wearing pants
>The officer is confused
>You say you are confused as well
>Both of you go to talk to the hoo-man inside the store
>The hoo-man says he meant you should be wearing under pants
>That doesn't make sense either
>The pants go over things so they aren't exposed
>How would that even work?
>The store hoo-man corrects you
>Hoo-mans have pants that they wear under other pants
>You need to be wearing those to put on other pants or the store pants might get dirty
>That sort of makes sense, but then you can't try on the under pants to see if you like them first
>You buy some anyway and then buy regular pants
>It was actually a pretty good deal
>There's already a slot for your tail on both of them
>No need to get them tailored or anything
>Wearing clothes makes you feel warm
>You decide to go buy some ice cream from a convenience store
>As you walk up to the store, you see a sign
>No shoes, no shirt, no service
>Is this some sort of conspiracy between convenience stores and clothing stores?
>You walk inside anyway
>The Hosschild and DuSteers families may be pulling the strings on this world as well
>You need to get some ice cream
>And maybe also expose the conspiracy
>Ice cream is more important
>>
>>30535384
Ponies are surrounded by magical TV-Y Reality Distortion Fields. Even if it doesn't end well, it will be ultimately harmless and most likely entertaining..
>>
>>30537377
>ponies finding out about the conspiracy
Distract them with snacks. Works all the time.
>>
>>30538966
But the very process of going to get the snacks risks them finding out about the conspiracy!
>>
>>30539779
Just drop them from above or leave them in their way.
There isn't a single pony in two worlds that can resist free snacks.
Not even the princesses.
>>
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>>30539991
That doesn't always work.

>"Ohmygosh, human!"
"There are like fifty of us just on this street. Pick someone who isn't too busy for this shit, Lyra."
>"But you're here, and I'm here, and you're a human!"
"I'll give you this candy bar if you fuck off."
>"Ohmygosh, snacks! Omnomnomnom-"
"Okay, bye."
>"Ohmygosh, you're a human and you have snacks! You're awesome. Best human. Do you have more? I like snacks. Human!"
"I said fuck off!"
>"But I know you have snacks! What are the chances of somehuman else having snacks?"
"God dammit."
>>
pony
>>
>>30541556
must never know about the conspiracy.
>>
>>30541587
Ponies are gullible and would believe anything.
Tell them it was a weather balloon or something.

>"But mistah, I saw a hyouman with a big nose and a funny hat running off with a bag full of bits!"
"It was just your imagination, son. Now scram."
>>
>"Petting an officer of the law is illegal, sir."
>'You knew the risks of this job when you took it'.
>Best against-the-law petting a pony ever
>>
>>30542387
>ponice officers on Earth
People will just try to get out of fines and speeding tickets by petting or booping the ponice. Not even a law can rectify that.
>ponies are too scared to apprehend or even approach someone with "Boop the ponice" bumper stickers
Though having a pony in a tiny uniform around would certainly boost the morale of the local PD.
>>
>>30543652
I would boop the police
>>
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>>30544688
Ponice SWAT (Snuggle While Armored Totally) officers are equipped with boop-proof masks as standard issue. They're also coated in sandpaper.

Your move, creep.
>>
>>30544765
I heard they subdue unruly suspects with cuddle piles.
>>
>>30544809
I heard they always ask who's a good boy if they find a dog while serving a warrant.
>>
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>"Ohoho~...Cathy, dearest, you are a delight."
>'Quit pretendin' like yall unnerstand these crazy Earth funnies, Rarity.'
>>
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>>30546027
>"Is the joke that Garfield is bratty and Mr. Arbuckle lets him get away with too much? Oh my. That's hitting a little too close to home for me."
>>
>>30546027
What if Rarara starts hitting on everyone
>>
>>30546849
What, the comic characters?

Dilbert X Rarity. I ship it.
>>
>>30544809
>>30545373
I heard they've never failed to capture a suspect. Nobody has the willpower to run away from something so cute.
>>
>implying anyone on Earth would take ponice seriously

"Look Martha, it's a small pony!"
>"He's got a tiny uniform, so adorable!"
>"M-move along citizens!"
>"Aw, he's so cute. Honey let's take a photo."
"I-I am an officer of the LAW... I have r-rights!"
>"Come one, just one more photo and we'll be out of your hair."
"Okay, now honey, can you pet him?"
>*whimper*
>"Oh look, he's blushing! So cute."
"Alright, say 'freedom'!"
>*snap*
>"Did it came out okay? I think I blinked."
"No, it's fine, thank you officer, we'll be going now."
>officer Warm Snuggles follows the old couple with an ol' stinkeye, his lower lip quivering
>the ponice academy did NOT prepare him for the Earth
>>
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>>30549933
>"Alright, say 'freedom'!"
>>
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"I AM THE LAW"
>*boop*
>>
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>"Non-alcoholic?"
>>
>>30552470
Gotta pass that breathalyzer test, Berry.
>>
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>"..I don't get it, Anonymous, is adding bacon to everything purely an American thing?"
>"No, it's not that I have a problem with meat, it's just..bacon frosties don't sound that great."
>>
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>>30553149
"Cherry, do you like butter?"
>"I don't really 'like' things so much as I dislike some things less."
"Alright, do you dislike butter less than other things to put on food?
>"I guess? What does this have to do with-"
"And do you not dislike salt?"
>"You'd have trouble finding a pony that would turn down free salt. What are you going on about?"
"Imagine a piece of dried fruit that tastes like butter and salt, with just a hint of sugar."
>"...So it's like a buttercup, but chewier?"
"I wouldn't know. Linky, is what she's saying checking out?"
>"Yeah, that's how buttercups taste for ponies."
>"Both of those things still sound like they'd be terrible in a McIceCreamDrink."
>"I'd want to try it before I make up my mind. Do you think they have any buttercups at McDonalds yet?"
>"No, Linky. This is Earth. Nowhere on Earth serves buttercups."
>"There's this vegan cafe that-"
>"Let me rephrase: there's nowhere on Earth that serves buttercups right. No offense, Anon, but your species doesn't know the first thing about how to prepare flowers."
"Mostly because they all taste like crap to us."
>"And for that, you have my pity."
>>
>>30553333
but buttercups are poisonous and taste bad to horses
>>
>>30553617
>to horses
Ponies are weird.
>>
>>30553651
regardless, buttercups are still poisonous to just about everything and should at least give them a stomachache when ingested
>>
>>30553661
Just bad gas.
>>
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>"Your Highness, please, you've a peace & trade conference to attend."
>'Momentarily, sirs. These inner city youths have requested my assistance in winning a "dunking" contest and helping them save their rec center."
>'..M-my Princess, we can't keep stopping for these minor hardships. The humans have informed us these small incidents occur quite often and that the world WON'T end.'
>Next days headline reads: "PRINCESS SNUBS COMMANDER IN CHIEF TO GO HARD IN THE PAINT"
>>
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>>30554468
Wings are cheating tho
>>
>>30555618
So is magic and having a horn in general.
But you go ahead and tell that to someone who moves a fucking star with their mind.
>>
>>30556503
If she's not using her magic or wings, I'm impressed. White women generally don't have much ups.
>>
>>30556529
>Celestia is /fit/
Headcanon accepted.

I mean, she does have to put all those cakes to work somehow.
>>
>>30555618
So is tail lifting; it's distracting to the other team
>>
>>30556900
What if the team is all mares?
>>
>>30556900
>>30557543
>mutual indecent exposure
I am sure stallions and men alike would flock to the grounds to watch, very intensely.
>>
>>30558321
Make 'em pay to use toilets and you'll be a millionaire after the first game.
>>
>>30558321
Must be hard being their trainer.
>>
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>"Mommy, look, a pony!!"
>Oh for fucks sake
>'Ehh, no, negative, I am a meat popsicle.'
Would ponies get tired of the attention or would humanity be quick to wear out the novelty of having talking marshmallow horses around?
>>
When mares go into heat, do they buy tampons and pads to hide/soak up all the excess mare residue?
>>
>>30559563
Ponies will never be safe from children.
Because every little shit wants to pet a soft plushy pony.
Adults won't give a flying fuck about them though.
>>
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>>30559584
>"PONY!"
"Honey, please don't pester the pony."
>"I'mma hug it!"
"Don't hug it."
>"I'm hugging it!"
"Stop hugging the pony."
>"I can't!"
"What do you mean, you can't?"
>"It's so fluffy I think I'm gonna die!"
>"Pbbbblt."
"Oh god."
>>
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>>30559584
>ponies will never be safe from children
>see man riding horse through town
>he's across the street at a gas station
>adults and children alike are gathered round petting the horse
>i'm on the other side of the street waiting for the bus
>want to go pet that horse so fucking bad
>>
LUX

F I N I S H
>>
>>30559584
This could be a business opportunity for ponies. If strangers want to pet the ponies, why let them do it for free?
>>
>>30560795
>LUX
>F I N I S H
But it's gonna be so bad.
>>
>>30561277
Well yeah, Strawberry's been blue-beaned for what, goddamn near 3-4 years now?
>>
>>30561311
I mean more like, you know when you put something on hold for a while and when you come back, you just cringe at what you've made?
>>
>>30561394
You can redo the whole thing if it's that bad and you're that motivated, or you can just suck it up and continue from where you've stopped.
>>
i wonder how would a pony family adopting a human child or vice versa a human family adopting a pony child be looked upon, would it even be accepted/permitted?
>>
>>30562684
>ponies raised on Earth visit Equestria
What could possibly go wrong.
>>
>>30562684
I think it would be frowned upon, but there's no legal reason not to allow it.

How long would it take a human raised by ponies to learn how to walk on two feet?
>>
>>30562738
I'd be more worried about how long would it take for pony-raised human to not faint when someone erupts into a barrage of expletives.
>>
boop
>>
>>30562760
>Aw shit nigga
>>
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>"Haha, their borin' old 'age of consent' laws don't apply to us, girls!"
>>
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>>30562684
There's Horse Wife and its Horse Husband spinoff. Why aren't there Horse Parents or Horse Kid?
>>
>>30567671
>Horse Parents
Getting used to child's omnivore diet is going to be a blast, I'm sure.
>>
>>30568903
>Horsedad will never tell you to finish your daisies if you want to have dessert
>>
Anyone here remembers Long Distance?
>>
>>30569162
I will never forget it. I just have to get back to it.
>>
>>30569191
How long it's been? Time flies fast as fuck.
>>
>>30569198
At least a year now. On the plus side, now I can figure out which parts are shit when I re-read my own work.
>>
>>30569240
Even so, I enjoyed reading it back in '13 and it was nice that you included some of my ideas too. I hope you'll get back to it some day.
>>
>>30569292
I'm planning to, just as I have been all this time. I might re-write some parts before I pick up the story again.

Knowing I still have fans around gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling.
>>
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>>30569348
Lookin' forward to it.
I doubt you remember this but fuck it Everybody wants to rule the world
>>
>>30569348
Better deliver
Or else I will call Edge to occupy the rest of your virtual address space
>>
>>30567075
tail lifter
>>
no die
>>
>>30572402
Yes
>>
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>>30573376
Here, take these ones.

Would poni like human role-playing games?
>>
>>30573414
>Would poni like human role-playing games?
Probably. Some of the nerd would like our games more, since it's more "hardcore" as is our world.
>>
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>>30573414
>>
>>30574239
>"So wait, I'm taking suffocation damage because I'm in the middle of the ooze?"
"Yes, and burn damage if you don't get away from its core."
>"My character's dying and it's awesome!"
>>
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what if
>Earth is pony hell. Well, not exactly
>The amount of cranky villains and sulky ponies, albeit slowly, continues to grow, much to the chagrin of Light Bringer the IX
>Finally, she decided she had enough of seeing so many sad faces and sour expressions, and rebelled against the divine order
>It wasn't anything flashy, nor was there demon invasion or anything, she just redirected the chutes that bring evil souls in and let purified ones out to some other hellhole
>Conveniently, the aforementioned hellhole was bad enough to do the job just fine, which is why Light Bringer only got 50 years in the time out corner of Tartarus for her rebellion
>Unfortunately, it was already densely populated, which apparently seemed to have contributed to it's "hellishness". Some places even had nearly the same climate too
>Most of it's inhabitants didn't refer to it as hell or Tartarus though. For some reason these strange creatures named their world after dirt. Go figure
>New arrivals caused some commotion at first, as well as being mighty confused themselves, but after a while things settled down, partially due to the limited attention span of the world's populace
>The gates of hell that opened in the heart of one of the largest cities of this world took a bit longer to get used to
>It turns out that said populace wasn't very friendly, nor was it keen on having demons and souls of the damned strolling around
>The initial invasion by several groups of bored demons ended as quickly as it started. The rough treatment hellspawn got scared them for life and made them run back to the gates of Tartarus with tails between their legs
>In fact, some time later the Earth actually tried to invade Tartarus, but finding no useful resources quickly scrapped the idea
>Overall, things calmed down somewhat since then. Demons still refuse to come to Earth unless it's absolutely necessary, and souls of the damned walk the streets freely. Hey, it's not like you can kill them or anything
>>
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Would you help Shining and Chrissi arrange a game session away from Equestria and Cadance?
Would you join them?
>>
>>30577526
Neat. I like it.

>>30578091
Yes, and let me go roll a character because hell yes.
>>
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>"Anonymous, I uh, understand that hyoomans have ehh, their own 'syndicates' here. Is that correct?"
>"Hmm? Ah, no reason really. I'm a businesspony after all, I gotta ..you know, network."
>"Hey don't sweat it, Anon, I'll make sure to cut you in on my profits as part of your finder's fee."
>>
pie no die
>>
>>30580186
>>
>>30579104
Ponies might have a hard time understanding the slang of human mafias.

>"Cement shoes? I don't see how that would work. They'd fall off the second they lift a hoof. It just wouldn't bond, you know?"
"You're thinkin' of the wrong kind of shoes. Trust me, toss a guy in the river wearin' those and they'll be sleepin' with the fishes."
>"Do you honestly mean to tell me there are hotels and crap down there?! This is crazy! I don't understand none of this!"
"Oh, Madon... Vinnie, do we have a fuckin' glossary?"
>"And you keep using that F word too! What is anything?!"
>>
pie threads started in 2012 right?
>>
>>30583801
Yep. We're coming up on the fifth birthday of the thread.
>>
>>30583062
>Pony enforcers are a bit different but no less ruthless than their human counterparts
>"Ok, Biggie Four-Hooves, Slim The Wrench, show this joker what happens to ponies who don't pay their dues in this neighborhood."
>The enforcer stallions start nosing through magazines and putting them back on the wrong shelves
>'P-please, no, my livelihood...'
>One puts a 'solicitors welcome' sign in the window
>'WHAT'RE YOU DOING?! YA GONNA RUIN ME!'
>"This'll stop once yous rememba who runs this place."
>The stallions take their leave but not before issuing a warning
>"-An NEXT time, we're gonna hafta to get physical with ya's."
>The shopkeep pony goes pale
>"Yeah, dats right." He says, brandishing a long feather in his teeth
>"It'll be a ticklin' you wont soon forget, pal."
>>
>>30585388
As someone who worked in retail, I can confirm that this is a worse fate than death.
>>
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>"THIS. IS. SPAR-TA!"
>'CUT!..cut.'
>"I said it wrong again, didn't I.."
>The director sighs
>'Yeah, but you're really trying, and that's what matters. Who knows though? Some of cinema's greatest scenes have been ad libs and improvisations.'
>Derp horse brightens up
>'Alright, aaand ACTION!'
>"HASTA LA VISTA. BABY."
>>
>>30586592
Would ponies be typecast by film studios? It's hard to get over how cute they are.
>>
>>30586688
>Pony screen actors guild strikes because they're tired of being typecast as good all the time
>"I wanna be the badmare, Anon!"
>"I wanna tell them to 'say goodnight to the badmare, mang'!' Like Pacino!"
>>
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>>30586751
>Pic related gets cast as one of the villains in a James Bond movie
>Being evil for a role really takes its toll on her
>She has her agent amend her contract to require a crew member that hugs her at least once a day and tell her she's a good pony
>>
>>30587309
>Uses a stuntdouble-pony when she has to film 'mean' or bad scenes
>>
>>30587319
>The stuntpony has lived on Earth for years and doesn't understand why Fleur is making such a big deal out of this
>>
>>30587317
>The credits have "chief hugger" and several hugger grips
>Nobody knows what this means until the special edition with a behind the scenes documentary is released
>>
>>30589578
>"Mr. Anonymous? Can you specify on the 'experience in film' listed in your resume'?"
>'Certainly. I was a chief hugger, and a boomhug operator.'
>>
>>30589634
>Boomhuggers are specialists in hugging pegasi, griffons, changelings, and the occasional alicorn without forcing the actor to land first
>>
>>30589662
>changelings
Why would bughorses go to Earth?
There isn't enough love here to sustain them.
And if they would, and become actors, why would you need any ponies?
Changelings can become any. Pegasi, unicorns, earth ponies - bughores can be anything, including required coat and mane colors and cutiemarks or lack thereof.
>"Them darn changelings stealin' our jobs!"
>>
>>30590589
Changelings are good extras, but they can't perform as well as an actual pony.

>"I did not hit her! It's horse apples! I did not hit her! I did not. Oh hi, Mark."
"CUT. What the hell was that?"
>"I performed as the script instructed."
"That was... no. Audition over. You're not getting the lead role with a performance like that."
>"I can impersonate your waifu between scenes."
"Get out! ...But here's my number. Call me at 8pm today."
>>
One month
>>
Green inbound
>>
>>30593807
What's it about?
>>
>>30591671
>Ironically, changelings are terrible actors
>Directors and casting personnel are quick to recognize changelings as better suited for stand-in scenes with no dialogue on the actors part
>"Haha, you wont surely be sad at my performance, Director man!"
>The director runs a hand down his face
>'Just go...craft services table is that way and your trailer is over there.'
>"Hey, neato cool! Thanks you!"
>>
no die pie
>>
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>>30594478
What, did you already lose the ones I gave you a few days ago? Try and keep better track of these ones.

>The existence of magic means that fantasy movies use more practical special effects
>Most directors and screenwriters greatly overestimate what special effects spellcasters are capable of, though

>Trixie finally makes it big in show business when she wins an Oscar for best Special Effects in a motion picture
>>
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>ywn traffic ponies
>>
>>30595427
>Trixie finally gets the recognition she deserves.
>Still is a huge cunt with, loaded with insecurities.

>Flim&Flam open up another enterprise to push their inventions and snake oil accessories.
>It goes surprisingly well, albeit there are occasional legal obstacles that slow things down.

>Chrysalis becomes a pornstar. Her impersonation skills are put to good use, as well as her numerous holes.
>One of her "favorites" is Cadance, which drives the actual Cadance up the wall of her crystal castle.
>Especially when she catches Shining, of all ponies, watching it. He's still doing it, even after all the times he got caught. He is not a smart stallion.
>Although feeding on love over great distances is highly inefficient, Chrissi makes up for this with sheer quantity.
>She also works part time as her hive's agent, since those idiots can't be trusted with anything and everyone in Hollywood constantly tries to rip you off.

>Discord moves to Earth and starts his own reality show, putting a little too much emphasis on "reality".
>Princesses and Flutters are worried he might be slipping to his former self.
>>
>>30595448
The big problem with that story was that the crazies got a hold of it. Sure, something might have been happening, but now it's impossible to separate the facts from the things the voices in peoples' heads came up with. Or maybe it was a deliberate disinformation war where ridiculous claims are countered with even more ridiculous claims, dragging the conversation to a new low each time? Fuck, I don't know.

>"Hey Anon, let's order a pizza."
"All right, cool. What do you want on it?"
>"Nothing."
"All right, cheese pizza."
>"No. Nothing on the pizza. At all. No sauce or cheese."
"That's not a pizza. That's bread."
>"It's totally a pizza."
"...Okay then. I want something on my side if we're splitting it, though."
>"Sure, anything you want."
"Are you okay with meat?"
>"As long as it's on your side of the pizza."
"I'll tell the pizza shop to keep it off of your half of the nothing-pizza."
>"Thanks! Man, all this talk of food is making me think of our dinner plans. Do you still want to go out for burgers?"
"I don't see why not. Maybe you can order a nothing-burger."
>"A nothing-burger? Wouldn't that just be a bun?"
"It should be, but now I'm very confused."

>>30595870

>Flim and Flam send out junk mail catalogues that nobody willingly subscribes to
>They're printed on the type of paper that tears way too easily and sticks together if it gets wet
>The catalogues sell "magical" items that don't actually have any magic
>Most customers never question their legitimacy until long after the purchase is made
>If a unicorn says it's magic, it's magic
>Unless it's Flim or Flam
>Then it's probably a $79.99 stick they found on the ground

Seems completely legit.

Vindictive, petty Chrysalis is so in character that it hurts.
>>
boop a day keeps ponies angry
you wouldn't like being booped out of the blue every day either
>>
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Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know how to get to this place called... Al-bu-kwer-kwe?
>>
>>30483300
roll
>>
>>30597370
>"Neigh, snort whinny"
"What do you mean I already took a left there?"
>>
>>30598072
>ponies understand nearly every animal on Earth
>their first time at the zoo
>Celestia is considering invasion to save the innumerable creatures we kill and reform humans
>Luna is practically prancing at the chance to don her old war gear
>>
>>30596987
>boops to ponies is like open chest or the circle game to humans
>>
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>>30598656
>The Metro Goldwyn Mayer lion is actually swearing like a sailor
>A small group of ponies takes this as a sign and jumps the gun, forming their own organization to rescue animals and reform humans
>A large amount of zoo animals are reluctant to leave their enclosures when "rescue" arrives
>Most livestock are unbearably nihilistic and depressing to talk to, and that's before they realize they're headed for the slaughterhouse
>Dairy farms are very awkward because of all the lewd noises
>The organization is disbanded within a month

>Luna has a sad
>>
>>30600852
kek
>>
What mischief would ponies get up to in Earth, /PiE/?

>walking home from work
>see Tree Hugger
>grow the balls to walk up to her
>say hey to her
>"Hi"
>never really talked to her
>awkward silence
>asks me if I want to get high with her
>okay
>go into woods
>she pulls out bong and bag of kush
>they were hidden in her dreadlocks
>okay
>get wasted with her
>high as fuck
>she asks me if I've ever kissed a pony before
>we kiss
>she grabs my dick
>starts sucking it
>asks me to eat her out
>we 69
>asks me to put my finger in her
>she loves it
>asks for three fingers
>do it for her
>asks for whole hand
>wat
>still do it for her
>asks me to fist her with both hands
>more wat
>do it for her
>"I need more"
>what else can I give you? I have both hands in your cunt
>she looks me in the eye
>"I need about tree fiddy and about forty cakes"
>it was about that time that I realized I had both my hands in the vagina of an enormous white horse with a sparkly pink and green mane
>that god damned Loch Molestia Monster had tricked me again
>>
>>30601492
GO WEY, LOCH NESS M'LESTIA

AIN' NOBODY GOT NO TREE FITTY
>>
>>30601492
I jus' gave 'er 2 dollas th'other day.
>>
>>30601645
GOD DAMMIT ANON, WE AIN'T MADE OF MONEY!
>>
>>30601692
And that's when I learned I had both my hands in the vagina of a twelve story tall crustacean from the Paleolithic Era!
>>
>>30602262
>"Anon that's bucking gross!"
>"Yeah."
>"Eeyup."
>"You just made it up didn't you?"
"Of course not. That really happened."
>"Right. Anon, I'm not drunk enough to believe that. Speaking of which, who's turn it is to buy another round?"
"I still wonder how can you ponies get drunk on this dandelion brew. You should try our stuff sometime."
>"Hay no, last time I tried 'your stuff' I woke up in a petting zoo. On the wrong side of the bars!"
"That gorilla really took a liking in you didn't she?"
>"Buck you! You promised to never bring that up!"
>>
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>>30602372
>"Hay no, last time I tried 'your stuff' I woke up in a petting zoo. On the wrong side of the bars!"

Applejack confirmed for lightweight.
>>
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pony/human crossbreeding
>>
>>30483300
rolling
>>
>>30603199
That's going to take a super sized bag to cover.
>>
>>30603478
>implying you wouldn't make sweet gentle rabu-rabu to a reverse centaur
>implying reverse satyrs aren't also qt
>>
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>>30603244
>Get dubs

Oh cool I wonder what this Anon got

>It's Snails

...Well, he can be cute I guess?
>>
>"Ughhh, BUCK! This is so boring!"
>'Mr. Forem-, Forepony, please, we're supposed to be deliberating.'
>"Why don't you guys just use magic to figure out whose telling the truth?"
>Hyooman says something about dew process and habitual corpses
>Weirdos
>>
>>30605014
>"We need to do this by the book."
>"But books are boring!"
>Somewhere, Twilight Sparkle's eye twitches
>"It's an expression. We need to do this right. Now, members of the jury-"
>"This isn't really a jury of my peers. Half of them are only Wonderbolts recruits."
>"But they are all living in my house, same as you. Jury, we await your verdict. Did or didn't the defendant take the cookie from the cookie jar?"
>>
>>30605878
>tfw no adorable poner roommates

They could have all the cookies they wanted. ALL THE COOKIES.
>>
>>30605878
>Jury, we await your verdict.
Shit's about to get serio-
>Did or didn't the defendant take the cookie from the cookie jar?
Top kek. Those damn adorable ponies.
>>
>"Mom look at all the humans! Eeeeee they're so cute! Can I pet one? Please?"
>>
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>>30606795
>Flower Trio
Aren't those three terrified and traumatized by everything?
Thread posts: 448
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