Are you?

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>>30367632
I dunno, is she ready for the dick?

>>30367657
>Anon's fantasy is to somehow manage to satisfy a mare with his mutilated human dick

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>>30367632
Every day since I married her.

>>30367632
Why does your hoof smell kinda musky?

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Pinkie would be the clingiest girlfriend ever.
She'd hug you whenever she can, and then kiss you, and lick you.
And whenever you'd get something delicious looking to eat, she'd appear out of thin air and get a bite.
And if you somehow are fast enough to gobble everything before she can, she'd use her tongue to deepthroat you and get the flavor.
And she'd always cheer you up, always telling you that you're a great person.
And all she'd ask in return is for you to smile.

>>30367700
>somehow

Just go longer than 1 minute and you're already halfway there.

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>>30367657
>You will never let the cupcakes burn

>>30367632
I want to piss off Pinkie until she goes Pinkamena and have her cock vore me

>>30367746
stop, please, i am heart broken, stop.

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>>30367632

Ready, willing, and eager.

>>30367632
>Posting P*nkie P*e

Can you not? Thanks.

>>30367632
The fuck is Noony?

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>>30369372

>>30369532
>when your waifu is talking dirty to you and she accidentaly uses someone else's name

>>30367746
I'm so starved for physical attention I don't care how flawed the relationship would be.

>>30370128
I'm so starved I wouldn't call it flawed in the first place

>>30367746
I'm clingy as fuck too. Its perfect.

>>30370493
In reality you'd likely burn each other out pretty quickly and want a lot of personal space.

>>30370514
Pinkie? Nah. You might get tired of it, but I don't know that it's possible for her to.

>>30370543
Except she wouldn't even let you take a shit in peace, nor rub one out.
And since you are most likely virgin, no having a sexual partner doesn't totally take care of your libido, you usually still masturbate some times even if you have sex daily.

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>>30367746
You say these things like they're bad things?
And that would be heresy

>>30371082
Why would you rub anything with her around?

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>>30369372

>>30371277
Ponk is too pure for this world Anon
None of us deserve her

>>30371290
this
'girlfriend' generally means she'd take care of that for you when she feels like it
and since it's ponka, she'd certainly be more than happy to do it
over and over
three times a day at least

>>30371305
>when she feels like it
You just said why.
If your gf is lazy or a cunt then you are going to have to take care of it by yourself.

>>30371316
yes, but we're talking about the pink menace here
and she's nothing of the sort
sex is pure, unfiltered 'fun'

>>30370514
Yeah, that's most likely what would happen. In fact she'd probably burn out on you long before you did her.

>>30367632
pls be my pony gf

>>30371333
You and her still have to work, you both can't just stay in the house and fcuk all day long.

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>>30367632
>Pinkie/Maud will never be your gfd gf you
>You will never have a gfd gf

>>30371342
This. Plus, you can still do "alone" hobbies (like reading/watching/listening to creepy/weird/bizarre/x-crossed-with-d stuff on the internet, for example) with her around and if you can't, then maybe you are more an anti-social than an introvert.

>>30371342
We're talking about horseland here Anon.
They don't need to work, I'm still wondering why they have money at all.
Just look at the m6, they kept disappearing for days/weeks for X or Y reasons and still kept their jobs.
Just look at Dash's house for example, it's a fucking palace. And she was a WEATHER pony.
All she had to do was sleep all day and take ten minutes every few hours to bust clouds or make it rain.
Ponka obviously eats more than she sells.
Twiggy... Let's say that she got royal subsides or smth, who cares.
Appul always claims that she needs shekels and shit but they obviously roll over money too, what with the numbers of barns they raise and apples they throw away.
Rarara designs a few dresses here and there and got enough money to buy 3 boutiques.
Fluttershy... I don't even know what she does. How is she even paying that veterinarian bill?
And let's not talk about background ponies, like Derpy that does a different job every episode or Bulk that can maintain working on a spa and selling nuts at the same time.

>>30371392
What if I'm both.

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>>30371421
Then you are fucked and the only thing you can do is listen to some death grips (or any alternative meme band of your preference) and hope you get an idea on how to make money so you can live a nicer life.

>>30371420
They need to work, we have see AJ selling her apples in the market and Fluttershy with Rarity buying food.

>>30371486
Oh yeah they do, but money isn't important at all.
Between the bit's value being completely random, and gemstones costing so fucking much (and not being that hard to find, obviously), it just shows that money is there to look nice and nothing else.
They live in an utopian society with jobs/roles assigned at birth, so they don't really need money.
I don't think there's one pony taking his job seriously, other than Harshwhinny, the princesses and maybe the guards (even tho we don't know shit about them)
Appul always 'works hard' but she somehow always finds the time to go on epic adventures and competes with Dash whenever she feels like it.

>>30371735
That's only because it is a cartoon show.
If they were real you know very well you couldn't sustain that kind of life.

>>30367632
Must..stay...true..to my...wai-
>Ponk steal kissu
>My waifu smells Ponk's scent even after washing for hours and she breaks us
>Ponk gets closer no matter how much one tries to shoo her away
>Goes to a Ponk party because they re still great no matter what
>When doing a bathroom break Ponk comes and closes the door
>Its not >Rape when a mare does it
>Ywn look at that mare the same way again
>You know she s just waiting for her next chance to reel you in
>And there s absolutely nothing you can do but wait for the inevitable
>May as well accept her as your new waifu
>"That s the spirit nonny!" - She says, appearing out of nowhere like always
>And now she can read minds
>...
>Wake me up

>>30371766
Oh really? Why?
The thing is, it wouldn't 'work' here because we have to actually work to grow food and we're heavily dependant on secondary shit like entertainment, electricity etc.
But ponies aren't.
They have all the food they want, and if they need more they can use magic.
They don't need to invest much in schools and shit simply because of cutie marks.
They're also an unified state under one rule, and they have absolutely everything they need so no import/export bullshit needed.
And they also don't need to invest that many resources in technological advances because they don't need anything else than their horns.

We absolutely can't compare Equestria to Earth, for many reasons, but I don't see why they'd need a working economy, like we do.

>>30371768
I know it's completely OOC, ponk would never do something like this to anyone
but holy shit isn't this hot
possessive aggressive waifus are so good

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>>30369333
What do you have against Pinkie Pie's mouth?

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>>30371420
Equestrian economy is fugged, they only need a small percentage of ponies working to maintain their standard of living. The royalty, especially Celestia, are conspiring to make ponies think they all need a job; if she didn't then the only workers would be the dregs of their species.

>>30372201
Yes. That's also my edgy headcanon, or rather, not Celestia, she's just a pawn.
But whoever manages cutie marks and is pulling the strings, is obviously in charge of that.
But I can totally understand them, they don't need this kind of shit.
Everypony is already happy and I don't see why they'd want to change anything about this.
Other than non ponies, of course.

fug

>>30372245
Alex Jones is that you?

>>30374146
They're putting something in the water Anon!
I'm telling you! You'll see!
People keep calling me names, but who was right about the globalists and the chemicals turning those poor animals hermaphrodites huh?!

I'm sure it's the griffins. Fucking catbirds!

>>30367632
No, I don't want to catch something

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>>30371420
>>30371486
>>30371735
>>30371766
>>30371808
>>30372201
>>30372245
Equestria has the perfect welfare state, you get enough given to you in times of need in order to live comfortably, with the expectation you pay it forward when / if you're able.
If you want luxeries you get a job.
If you're just a leech then you dont get to upgrade your standard of living and you're heavily looked down upon by society.
Their economy is pretty much all based on luxary goods.
And it stems from one simple thing thats often overlooked when people talk about their economy.
They eat HAY as a staple.
It's just dried grass and other similar plants, they grow almost literally everywhere with minimal effort, even without earth pony hacks.

>>30375651
Yeah, that's also what I believe. Like an universal basic income shenanigan.
I mean, it wouldn't make sense otherwise, imagine having a retarded CM like troubleshoes'?
You're basically forced to not do anything with your life, unless there's a rodeo going on. (And I don't believe they're open all the time.)

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>>30371768
Kinda hard for me to complain if she is already my waifu.
Unless... It's one of the mirror pool clones tricking me.

Its sucks I can't find any green of Ponka being aggressively possessive like this.

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>>30367746
>And whenever you'd get something delicious looking to eat, she'd appear out of thin air and get a bite.

>the perfect sandwich
>buns baked this very morn
>carefully selected cheese
>crisp lettuce, tomato
>mayo, mustard
>even scored some sliced turkey from a passing gryphon merch
>with an air of exaltation you place the final half of bun onto the sandwich, it slamming home with a majestic thunder
>mortal hands not fit to touch such perfection, yours, take hold of the apotheosis of all sandwiches
>you raise the sandwich to your lips, but stop, lowering it again
>she
>she must be near
>every time you're about to get around something of particular delicacy
>she's there
>but the park is nearly abandoned
>a pony walks the path across from you
>a filly bustles about in the distant patch of woodland
>but beyond that, you are alone, and visibility is crystal
>still, you chance a look around, twisting at the waist for a full 360
>a last, long look behind you and there's no sign of her, you're in the clear
>you turn, opening your mouth for a bite of the divine creation in hand, leaning in--
>"Hiya 'Nonny!"
>and instead nearly bite Pinkie Pie on the nose
>she was now between you and your sandwich
>she'd somehow gotten between your arms without you even fucking noticing
>she takes the closing quarters of your near-bite as an invitation, and plants a sweet, moist kiss on your lips
>the kiss is a surprise, but not your first from her, and not unwelcome
>she even presses her advantage, briefly mingling her flatter, wider, tongue with yours, her warm breath in your mouth
>you taste a hint of frosting
>she breaks the kiss with a soft smack, blue eyes beaming into yours
>"Can I have a bite of your sandwich?"
>Fuck.

I knew what I was getting into when I chose this waifu. Damn right she can have a bite.

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>>30376401
Unf
desu I can't even see her as waifu material, she's the only pony I can't
she's just too pure
also she'd kill me, somehow, and she'd feel bad about it

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>>30376401
We need more ponk green.