>You enter the coffee shop and spot a qt pone behind the counter

>>30364453
Straight black coffee.

>>30364453
Just ask for a black coffee because I'm not some hipster faggot.

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>>30364453
Folgers brand.

>>30364453
>drinking coffee
I'll take English breakfast tea with a pinch of milk and sugar, thank you very much.

>>30364465
If you don't like coffee then why the fuck did you enter the coffee shop in the first place then, you dumb bong?

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>>30364453
Don't know jack about tea, so I'd just order some Earl Gray, the tea everyone knows. I'll speak as eloquently as possible so she doesn't figure out I'm a poser.

(also did she have a name in the credits? I just made up a name for her)

>>30364475
Looks like a tea shop to me.

>>30364475
for the qt pone you buggering amerifat! I don't need to like coffee to like the mare serving it.

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>>30364465
Slimy Limey begone

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>>30364453

>>30364498
That's a real drink, isn't it.

>>30364476
fuck, I just noticed op said coffee, not tea. guess I need some myself.

>>30364516
Up until the "bossy delux" part. After that it's a joke. newfig

>>30364532
I still don't doubt someone has tried to make it real.

>>30364461
>>30364462
>black coffee

edgefags detected

>>30364516
>>30364525
>half calf
>calf
Goddamnit, I'm a fucking retard.

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>>30364551
>Needs to turn his coffee into a glorified milk shake before he can drink it

>>30364453
>Coffee
>Good
Bet you also enjoy music "unironically", faggot.

>>30364551
>drinking black coffee is edgy
This has to be b8. I don't even drink coffee, and I prefer it black

>>30364453

>The night had been hard on you, cold sapping what little strength you had.

>How you hadn't collapsed was a mystery, with each step becoming more of a drag than a step.

>Even if you could stop, where would you go? You weren't exactly the one everyone was begging to stay the night or hang out with.

>"Gotta...Get...Coffee," you mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose feeling the dull throb of your head push weakly against your fingers.

>As you slowly raised your head, your eyes fell upon the quaint little coffee shop, open even during these early hours.

>Maybe the owner would let you in early, give you something to try, or a place to just sit and finally rest.

>Entering the shop, you immediately felt the warmth wash over you, followed by the scent of freshly baked breads and sweets, along with the potent smell of coffee.

>"Amazing," you mumble, causing the small, pretty cute mare to turn to you, a warm smile crossing her face.

>Lost in her gaze, she was the first to speak, her voice sweet, dancing along with the amazing aromas.

"So," she said excitedly, "How can I help you today?"

>"Oh uh, I guess I could use a coffee and something to eat," you replied.

"Just coffee? Or something special? Usually ponies don't just order coffee..."

"Oh, I guess you're not really a pony, huh?"

>"Hold on, hold on," you say, biting your cheek.

>Now was your chance to finally earn some recognition here.

>"Can I get a Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice?"

>Even you couldn't believe what you had just ordered.

"No problem," she chirped happily. "It'll just take a second," she added, starting her work.

"Also," she said, looking up at you with a smirk, "read the first letter of each line."

No coffee for me
With my illness I can't sleep when I drink it. No matter at what point I drank it during the day, if the thing has caffeine I am unable to sleep properly.

>>30364625
boy it sure is summer in here

>>30364625
Ebin meme my bro XXXD, I really felt like I was back in 2008.

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>>30364625
Fuck those other guys, I liked it.

>>30364453
"Can I get some ketchup packets?"

>>30364453
I order coffee the only way I like it.
3/4 coffee
1/4 milk
2 spoons sugar

>>30364453
>You want to impress her, so you order the most patrician-tier coffee you can think of
I know where i am, but this is retarded.
I order chocolate milk and ask about how poni like tbeir coffee

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>>30364625
GO FUCK YOURSELF

>>30364453
caramel frappuchino with extra whip cream and a chocolate syrup drizzle

>>30364551
Absolutely nothing wrong with black coffee. It tastes fine to me, depending on the brand of course. Heck, sometimes sugar ruins the taste of the coffee for me.

>>30364837
You want some coffee with that sugar?

>>30364465
>He puts sugar in his tea

>>30364625
Top kek but you're a tripfag so I'm going to ask you to leave

>>30364453
I'll order tea since it's a fucking tea shop.

>>30364453

This thread is worth it for 'patrician-tier'. I need to use that phrase when im looking for my next apartment.

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>>30364453
>>30364476
No credits for episode yet, so we don't have a name.
But if they credit her as ((Tea Merchant)) or ((Tea Pony))
I have a name for her then: Minty Leaves

May I please have one cup of covfefe, madame *tips fedora*

>>30365020
She is a Qt
I request green please

>>30365020
She doesn't look like mint. I was thinking Camomile Rose.

>>30365020
I nominate her name as Get Into My Fucking Cock You Delicious Purple Slut

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>>30365020
Bad name. We already have a mint horse and she isn't even minty

>>30364453
Tea, earl grey, hot.

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>>30365198
You, sir! You deserve that tea, Earl Grey, hot!

Double Espresso with milk.
I drink bean water for the caffeine.

English Breakfast, black.

>>30364453
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx8af6vE3Rc

>>30364453
>the most patrician-tier coffee you can think of

black, no sugar, no milk

>>30364453
Regular American coffee with sugar and cream. I'm a simple man with simple tastes, now get on my cock, you purple slut

>>30365228
>>>/out/

>>30364919
>Conributes something related to the thread that's actually appropriate.

>Asked to leave.

Jesus, what has /mlp/ become?

>>30364453
Marecum, while giving her a pointed look.

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>>30365251
You get out, kid

>>30364453
Isn't that the tea shop and tea pony thoguh

I want black coffee

No Milk.

2 cream, 2 sugar

>REEE U PUT THINGS IN UR COFFEE THAT I DONT LIKE
>DRINKING IT BLACK IS SUPERIOR *tips fedora*

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>>30364453
Cappuccino tai with extra mare juice

>>30365558
>capuccino
Pussy bitch.

French roast
with lots of foam

>>30365020
Rose Hips

>>30364551
>t. woman

>>30365530
This. What you really should be getting shit for is putting sugar in your coffee when cream already makes that redundant.

>>30364453
I order a hot chocolate because I want something that actually tastes good

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>>30365675
Wew the king of manchildren.

>>30365704
You're telling me you'd rather drink scalding piss over a sweet hot chocolate?

>>30365714
Chocolate is a drink for teens. Adults can't drink that shit, it has too many fucking calories. Unless you drink it during winter or cold situations, then it is a requirement.
Anyways just do the pussy choice and get a tea if coffee is too hardcore for you.

>>30365753
Maybe shop pone will like me becaus sim unique

>>30365753
Hot water + unsweetened cocoa powder + tiny bit of sugar (or actual stevia) = low cal hot chocolate that's not sickeningly sweet.

>>30365786
You have to prepare such beverage custom.
Unless you are a client and they know your autistic tastes.

Who /drink coffee black at home but order ridiculous soft drinks with coffee as an ingredient at coffee places here/?

>>30364453
Grande Chai Tea Latte, 3 Pump, Skim Milk, Lite Water, No Foam, Extra Hot

>>30365802
>Lite Water
Is this a thing?

>>30365753
>glorifying coffee addiction
It really is sad that you think drug abuse is 'hardcore' and something to aspire to do.

Can I just get a cup of water?

>>30364453
I'd just come clean that I don't know shit about coffee but I always wanted to try it or go with a friend. that way I can make some small talk and ask her what would she recomend.

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Dark roast with a splash of milk.

>>30364551

This is the fattest post on /mlp/, and there's an entire thread of morbidly obese ponies.

>>30364453

Dude, the chick is just fucking working there. She sees a bunch of people coming in every day and buying all sorts of coffee. You won't get a girl interested by buying some fancy beverage, and especially one who takes orders daily. Just talk to her, you pseudo intellectual virgin.

Americano short quint caff because I want my heart to explode

>>30366469
Well fuck, I tried talking but she made the face and asked if I'm making an order or not. What do now?

>>30366494
>rape

"Hi sir how would you like your coffee?
>Oh fuck she's a qt3.14, quick flirt with her while you order your coffee
>"Hi I'd like my as I like my mares striped "
>Fuck

>>30364453
>Vienna raosted tanzanian peabody. That's fine, I'll wait here while you roast it.

>>30365753
>tea
>pussy choice
This nigga only ever had a fucking PG Tips huh? When you're blending your own black tea with spice infusions get back to me.

>>30364919
>replying to a tripfag
Fuck off.

>>30366494

Work isn't exactly the best place to get a gf. They're like Squidward. They are on autopilot and wish they weren't there. Or perhaps she was busy.
Oh well, you had nothing and you lost nothing. Picking up chicks is a numbers game, and there's a ton of eye-catching girls. The one who rejected you was in no way unique. Hit on more chicks. Get rejected on purpose so you'll learn to not give a fuck, and be unfiltered. Either you'll come off as confident or you'll have fun.

>>30365859
I didn't say I was addicted.
I just can drink a fucking coffee if I feel like doing it.
Coffee is just not an obsession to me.

>>30367106
>It's not an addiction, man!
>I can stop whenever I want!
:^)

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>>30366469
Chh, you tell em', dawg

It's like this whole board is full of virgins for some reason

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>>30367119
I drink a coffee once in a month at best.

>>30367127
You're already hallucinating. You've overdosed. Listen to me man, you gotta get to a hospital right now. They'll help you. You'll finally be able to live a normal life, man, just do what they say and you'll be all right. You have to kick it.

>>30364453
1% Milk, please.

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>>30367132
>omg how can an anon not be fucked up like me in the same way
>No he must be addicted to stupid shit
I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't use any drugs (I do use prescribed drugs, but only when they are prescribed to me) and I am not a coffee addict.
I am just addicted to escapism, porn and video games.
There, now you can see I am not perfect.

>>30367132
Not that anon, but enjoying coffee hardly means an addiction. I have a coffee every day because I enjoy the taste, not because of an addiction. I also drink a lot of cran-apple juice too and I'm not addicted to that either.

>>30364453
I ask her about the source of the house espresso. If she says Intelligensia or Counter Culture I'll nod approvingly and get that. Otherwise I'll ask for further explanation.

>>30367159
>I'm expected to trust coffee junkies telling me that it's not an addiction and is in fact totally normal
Mhm. It's okay guys, we can all admit our flaws. I just don't want to see you suffer anymore.

Black or mocha mix

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>>30367174
It is an addiction when you just think and want to have that thing at every single moment or most of the day.
>>30367186
It is impossible to be addicted because I take decaf.

>you ask for ginger in your tea
>She pulls a ginger root out of her ass and shaves some off
>She stuffs it back in as if it's normal

>>30367215
we /casual sex general/ now?

>>30367243
they put ginger in an older pony's butt to make them appear younger in real life

>>30364453
I order something that is actually fit for human consumption. So anything except coffee and tea.

>>30364453
Coffee

>>30364453
Beer

>>30364465
What is a pinch of milk?

>>30364453
That is clearly a tea store.

>>30364453
Hot Chai Tea Latte, please.

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Butter coffee.