RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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BAT

>>30328036
So what's the theme of this general? What are the stories generally about?

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Got an idea write friends!
>Anon gets teleported to eqg universe
>With the help of twiggles he gets his new life started
>But there's a problem, with the new influx of students at Canterlot High and Shadow bolt high(whatever there school is called) they can no longer get accept new students.
>So they send him to baltimare high, where the crime rate is high, school is in a poor urban area ECT
>So anon not only has to adjust to a new universe with skewed gender roles and a new teenage body, but he has to deal with a shithole of a school too.
Just an idea I'd wanted to jot out. I'm too dumb to make a coherent story so maybe a writefriend will pick this up.
>Pic is what I'd imagine anons classmates to look like.(yes it's lil pump, but whatever.)

>>30328036
>Desperately scared Luna "protecting" Anon and their unborn foal from Celesetia

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>>30328059
In short:
>Equestria has a gender skew favoring females.
>Gender roles evolved around males being the gender that needs coddled and protected since they are less in number.
>Mares act as a rough equivalent to human guys (The tough and brave breadwinners who do what they must), and stallions are a rough equivalent to human women (Gentle homemakers and child raisers). To what degree this goes varies. Exceptions apply.
>Polygamous relationships of multiple mares centered around one stallion (A herd) are common since there just aren't enough males to go around. Even then, some mares go lonely. The family structure and operation varies.
>Ponies might have other odd mannerisms, customs, or rituals.
>Stories usually feature you (Anon) as a contrast

Really, as long as it's reverse gender roles in at least a vague sense, then it's okay here. The above is simply the normal (and usually well working) formula

>>30328059
Where the men are women, and the women are slightly manlier women. The stallions grumble about having to cook dinner each night (lest they fall down some stairs and into a doorknob) and mares on the street brag loudly to passing colts how tight their cooters are.

>>30328059
Exactly what it says on the tin. Mares are the dominant gender for some reason or another. This is often paired with a skewed gender ratio with mares outnumbering stallions and sometimes herds (polygamy to address the former) like that fic Xenophilia. This can go in many directions but it often takes the humorous culture clash route as that's easy and lighthearted SoL.

>>30328144
>>Ponies might have other odd mannerisms, customs, or rituals.
read:
>Pegasus ponies are basically birds. They will, if given the opportunity, present you with brightly-coloured material in the hopes that you'll let them smash.

>>30328171
Sounds pretty humorous.

Do you anons have any funny green recommendations?

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>>30328171

I like the idea of construction ponies and their weird, backwards-gender horse-genital catcalls.

>" 'Ey, colty! You come over here and give that flank of yours a shake, huh?"
>"My break's nearly over, hot stuff. Why don't you let me give your dick a bit of a squeeze?"

Would "sugar-tits" turn into "sugar-dick" (because obvious male/female sexual body part exchange) or "sugar-balls" (because balls look more like a pair of tits than a dick does, and the scrotum is more prominent than a dick is when a pony is tucked away in his sheath)?

>>30328203
>" 'Ey colt, I got you blue."

>Anon has no idea that presenting brightly-coloured material is an incredibly presumptuous gesture by pegasi akin to decorating a girl's house (or a colt's "nest") with portraits of your face
>Rainbow Dash is not only staking a claim, but implying that the overall appearance of Anon's place is improved with the addition of her presence

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>>30328221
>yfw you fuck the engineer hard and no one noticed you because of the sound of Heavy machinery.
>yfw waiting for your next victim when they continue working.

And here I thought you guys had split up over bat ponies and shitposted one another into oblivion.

Just stop making these threads already, you flock of beta cucks.

>>30328365
>What are filters

you guys hear that?
its the sound of (you)s not being given

>Anon casually mentions that he's into nerdy stuff like Celestia Wars and Ogres&Oubliettes
>Twilight immediately falls in love
>Is determined to protect him from the greasy tuftbeards at the games&crafts store where all that nerdy shit is sold

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>>30328221
Definitely sugar-balls.

>>30328595
He's here too, who would thought. Go jump off a skyscraper

>>30328498
>>30328221
>Sugar-dick
>Not salt-dick

>>30328067
Noody liked your idea in the first thread you posted it.

Fuck off

>>30328067
Not rgre enough mate.

>>30328690
But salt is like alcohol to them, it would be like saying:
>beer-dick
or even
>cocaine-dick

>>30328192
RGRE has a lot of content written over a long period, so it can be kinda hard to single out specific stuff. Also, a lot of stories have comedy as a feature, but less are pure comedies.

Still, if I wanted point you in a specific direction, LaP's Diggy Hole is an old-school and well loved story in RGRE that skews toward pure comedy. In that same vein, AnalPlugAnon's Ogres and Oubliettes is a personal favorite of mine which also tends more toward comedy. If you like cringe humor mixed with feelsy coming of age stuff, Ghouls has Spaghetti and fillies.

All of that can be found in the pastebin. A lot of stories are catalogued in some way, but not usually by genre, unfortunately, so if you want purely comedy stuff then it may be difficult to find on your own. Others may have other suggestions though.

>>30329057
....and? Give those hardworking mares something to look forward too.

>>30329078
W8, isn't humans produce salt naturally?
You would be like beer\vine enema for them, they would became drunk because of ur body fluids.
You could fuck them till they under influence and then just fuck-off into the sunset saying "nobody will believe you".
Also think of the children, your kids would be constantly drunk.
Also in Greek mythology, a satyr is one of a troop of ithyphallic male companions of Dionysus often constantly drunk and with permanent erection.
Whats up with that?

>>30329188
I cant tell if you were drunk when you wrote that.

>>30327799
That's a pic of Flurry Heart, Shining's and Cadence' foal, not Sweetie Belle.

>>30328282
Agreed.

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>>30329657

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>>30329657
If you're going to be dense, please do so without the tripfagging.

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>>30329657

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>>30329738

>>30329683
>>30329721
>>30329738
>>30329744
He's got the right idea though.
It's a shitty meme, and those who use it deserve to be called out on their autism, regardless of whether or not they know they're posting the wrong pony.

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>>30329809
That's nice honey.

>>30329657
Fuck off tripfag. You are annoying.

Oh, shit, it's already time to ruin the thread by bitching and being assholes? I almost missed it. Seems like it's getting earlier and earlier every time.

Okay, so do you think that Anon would get his satyr son circumcised in RGRE, or would that be reserved for daughters?
In any case, he'd clearly want to raise his son to be a trap. That goes without saying. Someone should write a story about that. Anyone have a fitting prompt?

>>30329929
>trying this hard

>>30329950
>and getting so far

>>30329809
>I don't like jokes I don't understand


Remember this post?
>>30318598
Birdhorses are best wives.

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>>30330056
>going to watch your waifu perform in the Wonderbolts show with your foals snuggled and fast asleep in your pockets
D-damn

>>30329952
>tfw in the end it doesn't even matter

>>30330091
>You will never carry your children around in tiny felt-lined pockets
I don't know why I even try. Fuck my career, fuck my apartment; I'll never have a jacket filled with tiny fuzzy snoring little baby horses that hug me and call me "daddy".

>>30330091
>Spitfire is hailed as a remarkable mother for balancing motherhood (including a heavy pregnancy with your slightly-larger-than-average foals, thanks to your human genes) and her career
>Instead of focusing on one aspect and compromising the other, Spitfire utterly throws herself into whichever one is taking up her time
>Works twice as hard when she's at work to ensure that she almost never has to stay late
>Devotes herself to her foals the moment she gets back home, even if "mom time" sometimes has to mean "sleeping curled up next to mom while she takes a nap before dinner"
>Anon rewards his wife with all the love and devotion she can handle
>Also, with wing-massages when the kids have gone to bed
>There are no bitter "I provide for this family and ask for so little" from Spitfire, and no "All I ever hear from you the moment you come through that door is 'what is for dinner' and 'lemme smash' " from Anon
No tears, only dreams.

>>30330106
Switch your career to robotics (or genetic engineering if you think "ethic committees" should go play football in a minefield) and make your dreams a reality !

>>30328067
>You sip your 50-50 sweet tea/vodka drink as you read, the drone of the cicadas the only thing stopping silence from reigning
>The AC broke in your office, but the shitposting must continue - so all the windows were open
>Celestia's sun was so bright that it seemed to bleach the outside world; all the colors were awash and runny
>And you continue to sip your ice cold "tea"
>He speaks first, because they always do
>"S-so, it plays off of the very popular EQG series, a-and we can bring in attention by-"
"Summer."
>The teenager stops rambling and looks at you, swallowing. "I-I'm not sure what that means, but-"
"It's Summer."
>"... Yes, it is."
>The cicadas drone on
"You can't tell, but I capitalized that word. SUMMER. You know how I can tell?"
>The teenager looks at you, sweating - and then outside to the bright hot sunlight - and back to you
>"The heat?"
"The prompts."
>"I don't... understand?"
>You drop his script on the table, not caring that it gets damp from the condensation rings from your drink
"These prompts are made by people whose hormones are raging, whose brains are developing back-to-front. They're simplistic - no nuance, no big thematical desires or questions asked. I'd say it's simple wish fulfillment, but it's not even worthy of being called that."
>The kid leans over the table, hands pressed against the top. "Hey! There are plenty of stories that are self-inserts! And don't fucking call me s-"
"You not only want me to write you into this story, but you want me to put as much hate for anon's school as you have for yours."
>"So?!"
"So you're asking me to write angsty teenager mental masturbation material."
>He inhales sharply, but you continue uninterrupted
"It's childish. You are a child, on summer break, and you don't like school. Realize once you're out, you don't get breaks anymore. Life happens to you, and there is no annual 3-month pause."
>You stare out past him
"...go outside. Youth is wasted on the young."

>>30330508
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

>>30330508
Not RGRE enough.

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>>30330056
>>30330091
>>30330106
>>30330158
>Go to fancy restaurant with birb waifu
>"May i take your coat sir"
"No thanks, we're good."
>Get some odd lucks from the other patrons as you sit down with your thick coat.
>Order some plain breadsticks and a glass of water along with two wines to go with your haysteaks, your's in particually being "Very well done."
>Surreptiously slip damp pieces of bread instead your jacket the whole evening.
>After you've finished your meal the waiter returns with the bill and two lollipops.
>"Compliments of the staff, your foals are very well behaved."
>Two pairs of eyes blink owlishly from the snug confines of your jacket before babbling happily at the treats.
>Returning home with your family you put the children to bed before finally taking off the jacket, a thin sheen of sweat covering your body.
>You'd be grossed out by this if it didnt make the jacket more comforting to your foals and you didnt get to be your waifu's personal salt lick every night.

>>30330508
10/10

>>30330508
>BNW dropping the mic on some fags ass.

It's the little things in life.

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>>30330091
Why is this general always posting things that makes me feel dead inside.

>>30330763
>Surreptiously slip damp pieces of bread instead your jacket the whole evening
inside*
>Get some odd lucks from the
looks*
>You'd be grossed out by this if it didnt make the jacket more comforting to your foals and you didnt get to be your waifu's personal salt lick every night.
Fuck you for making me look at happiness.
>>30330793
Its our specialty.

>>30330508
You should start archiving these somewhere.

>>30330807
We could just throw them in the bin list, whip them out whenever its summer to preempt shitposters.

>>30330813
Do this. I'm not bothering to archive them - I'm shitposting the shitposter, for fuck's sake. That type of green deserves to be copypasta.

>>30330846
BNW, please never stop being so based.

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>Snake lands in Equestria
>For his next mission, he has to pretend to be the prince of a foreign kingdom so some crusading hero can "save" him
>The catch? He has to make sure he is as inconspicuous as possible
>A.K.A. he has to act like a damsel in distress
>"Oh no. I am trapped in the clutches of these nefarious villains. Waaaaaah, Waaaaaaah."

>>30330813
>>30330846
Done. You can find it in the bin under "BNW copypasta section"

>>30331008
>"I don't get it. He's so good at hiding inside of boxes, but he gets captured every single time some mare with a decent size of teats decides to foal-nap him."
>>"Look, I don't pretend to understand how stallions work. He's probably too scared for coltish whimsy when the foal-nappers come for him, or something."

>>30330806
What i get for feel posting while drunk.

And no fuck you, share my neverending pain of wanting a loving family i can shower with love and affection and i'm unable to have because of autism and childhood trauma.

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>>30330763
I seem to go through phases of feels, ones where they hit softly, ones where they hit hard, ones where the slightest hint of feel makes me depressed and want to go to my waifu early, and ones where the feels legitimately make me happy because I can picture myself in the place so easily and I don't even care if I'm not there
I'm happy I felt this feel during the last phase

I read this last thread and would love to see it. Also it's been a whole hour since the last post and I'm getting the shakes.

>Alternate universe
>Shuk's DadAnon, only Anon and Cadence stuck together and gave Venus a few siblings
>A portal between universes opens up (like in that one story LaP wrote) between "Cadence stuck with Anon"-verse and "Cadence abandoned her babydaddy"-verse (aka canon DadAnon)
>Despite how happy she is with Anon and Luna, DadAnon-verse Venus is blindsided by the bitter jealousy she feels when she sees her alt-uni self's family of brother and sisters, as well as how happy that universe's Anon and Cadence are together

>>30331507
....the simple solution to the problem is have Venus wait at Aunt Celestia's for a few days each month, and proceed to mating press moonbutt in every position possible.

>>I really want a story when anon sits down with Chrissy and Celestia and explains to them that yes, they are retarded and he is disappointed in them, because none of them can tell the difference between parasitic and symbiotic species.

"This is what happens when all the royalty around here are stubborn and arrogant."
>Both of them scrunched up their snouts in indignation
"Don't give me that look, that's exactly what's been going on."
"Both of you convinced that you're right, anyone who disagrees is wrong, and how dare anyone, especially an insolent male, say so."

>>30331619
Fuck them. Not a joke, just fuck them.

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>>30331631
Tia won't take kindly to getting cucked by a bug.

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>>30330763
>RGRE : You will never edition

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>>30331672
>Glimglam will never have her infibulation reversed

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>>30331672
This edition always makes me sad.

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>>30331836
How warm do you think ponies are, and how thrilled would the average lonely mare be to have someone to snuggle and fall asleep with at night?

You'll never know.

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>>30331857
>How warm do you think ponies are
I can tell you right now likely to be significantly warmer than humans.

>and how thrilled would the average lonely mare be to have someone to snuggle and fall asleep with at night?
Probably as thrilled as I would be.

>>30331876
I want to snuggle lonely mares under a blanket while I hold their hooves

>>30331857
>Pic
>Ponies will often infiltrate their chosen mate's house and try to blend in with background, and then pounce
>You will never get a surprise-cuddle from Rarity right when you're getting ready for bed

>>30331876
>I can tell you right now likely to be significantly warmer than humans.
Horses are, on average, 1.5 degrees warmer than humans.

>inb4 Hurr Durr not the same species

>>30331507

>"I don't get it, Aunt Celestia. I hate Egg Donor for abandoning me and Dad. I'm happy with Luna and my new little brother but.... Why am I jealous of my counterpart? I should be over this!"
>Celestia nuzzles her niece, "Venus, feelings are sometimes nonsensical. We feel them even when we don't want to and know it doesn't make sense. Why do you think you feel this way?"
>"It's just... Was it like the flip of a coin? What caused Egg Donor to stay with Dad in their universe while she ditched us in ours? Were we just unlucky?"
>Venus sighs, "And I see them with their big happy family and it astounds me. Is she inherently a better person in that universe and that's why she stayed? Or was it just a split decision that separates her from Egg Donor? And if so... Why does that piss me off so much?"

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>>30331857
>>30331914
>https://pastebin.com/WfLZh5EW
>ctrl F Rare Purity

>she'll never be your first

>>30331953
The trick is that in the alternate universe, Anon REALLY liked eating Cadence out.

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>>30331914
That mental image is probably even more hnng to me than the Spitfire foals in your jacket.
>ywn get attacked by a mass of white marshmallow pone before being wished a "good evening, darling"

>>30331967
>Rarity bags herself a virgin
>Brags about it to her friends after okay-ing it with Anon; a proper lady does not betray the trust of her stallion
>Dash is mad jelly

>>30331967
>no one will ever look at you with little hearts in their eyes

>>30332013
>Anon suspects a burglary gone wrong until his "attacker" starts to nuzzles his face, and a familiar scent washes over him
>"My my, Anonymous; is that cologne I smell? I do so love a stallion who knows how to make himself presentable~"
>Next thing Anon knows, his face is in Rarity's chest tuft and the alabaster mare starts humming while stroking his head
Cuddle-rape is best rape.

>>30331992

That's a fucked up thing for a kid to learn. For both Venuses.

That the only reason Cadance stayed was because Anon liked eating her out more in the other universe.

>>30332033
Or, I don't know, maybe the difference is that Cadence ran into somepony who gave her some good advice and she decided to stick it out. Maybe having the opportunity to calm herself down and vent was the tipping point, where her panic didn't snowball into abandoning Anon.

>>30332054
>Cadence comes across an old teacher and they chat
>Cadence unloads on her and asks "what do I do?!"
>Old teacher smacks Cadence upside the head and yells at her for thinking about abandoning her child and her baby-daddy
>Cadence sticks with it for a while, expecting the worst... and then remembers there was a reason that she and Anon were together to begin with
>"Things turned out better than I expected."

>>30332054
>>30332080

Yeah that sounds better. Good advice from a random stranger or having a moment to calm down and think things through.

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>>30332031
>>Next thing Anon knows, his face is in Rarity's chest tuft and the alabaster mare starts humming while stroking his head
maximum cozy

>>30330158
Dreams and Creampies Anon.

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>>30332343
>tfw will never go to equestria and have half a dozen babies with your waifu

>>30332531
Do you prefer your babies to be pones, satyrs, or >no hooves?

>>30332537
All of the above

A little random chance on what your offspring will be this time keeps things interesting.

>>30332537
Pones, mother is what the baby turns out as, with human traits. Unless magic shit and she gives birth as a human. The no hooves.

>>30332537
Ponies with amusing human attributes, such as (but not limited to) pointier teeth and a healthy appetite for meat, just for the sake of being able to see a bit of myself in my otherwise horsey, not-even-my-own-species child.

>>30332577
>Your horse daughter will never use you as a base for how males are supposed to act
>She will never be disappointed by the way colts and stallions behave
>She will never find the meat that Auntie Twilight keeps around for when the griffon delegates come 'round to the Castle of Friendship, and eat it in front of colts for an easy laugh

>>30332537
I'm partial to either satyrs or foals with a good handful of the father's characteristics. Maybe even a mix of both.

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>>30332577
I'm trying to think of a snappy name for a pony breed like that. A flesh eating pony could be compared to the man eating mares from Hercules's eighth labour. They're simply known as the Horses of Diomedes or the Mares of Thrace.

>>30332627
Man-horse?
Humorse?
Humare?
Teeth-monster?
I am coming up completely blank. Maybe Anon's first child is named Thrace? I'm not very good at this, Anon.

>>30332627
>a snappy name for a pony breed like that
>"Oh, fuck! What's that?!"

>>30332537
A mare pregnant by a human will give birth to either a filly or a human boy, depending on the gender ratio.

>>30332703
Or a creature that has a horse's upper half and two human legs. Good luck succeeding life NOW, you fucking mutant.

>>30332723
Magic fixes the possibility of mutants. So it will either be human or poner.

>>30332723
They still get the benefits of HMD

>>30332782
But Anon, satyrs are the perfect union of two different races.

>>30332782
I can agree to that. Also, if human: flat teeth and a digestive track incapable of comfortably dealing with meat.

>>30332723
Implying thats not what mares want, that amazing face with that amazing cock

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>>30332898
oh my god

>>30331967
Honestly! I mean, I ask you! These authors are crazy! RGRE makes something worse than it already was
>>30332537
I want satyrs!

satyrs IS OUR DAMM HUMANITY!

>>30332813
Its still a mutant freak, we don't keep them, Discord doesn't get to make abominations out of kids, and neither do you.
>>30332928
Be gone fetish poster.
>>30332898
kek, you made your kid turn out like you without someone that cares, forcing them to die alone because of your fetish.

>>30329929
Have you guys tried dating real girls? You can actually fuck them, it's pretty rad.

>>30332945
They can also accuse you of nasty shit and ruin your life.

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>"Aren't you supposed to be unconcious?"
"Meh. My writefag's a lazy prick. I unofficially woke up like a year ago, at least."
>"So you just sit here, waiting for updates?"
"Yup."
>Well this is boring.

God, I love the times we live in. I wish I had more excuses to stay here more often. But he already dead.

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>>30332981
I wanna blame the writer for writing it, but at the same time wanna punch that Laps and NOF.

>Some ponies Equestria still practice "Groom Kidnapping"
>This usually involves a mare (or mares) grabbing a stallion and whisking him away to some grand vacation in an attempt to finally woo the stallion into to herding with them
>However the tradition was not always so nice
>Stallions were taken and locked away
>They were starved and hidden until they agreed to signing marriage papers
>Sadly this older tradition is still practiced by some dastardly mares
>When Apple Bloom asks Granny Smith how she got her grandfather to herd with her Granny is happy to tell the story of her and her sisters kidnapping him
>AB tells the rest of the CMC who decide to follow in Granny's footsteps
>In less than seventy two hours the three girls have Anon bound and gagged in their clubhouse

>>30332945
Yep. Got stabbed, robbed, and left for dead outside of a gas station. Kinda put me off the whole dating thing.

>>30333005
Nof is in the middle of moving so he has an excuse and I think LaP posts every few days as it is.

>>30333055
The reason i stay RGRE because Lap and his other story got hold. And switch new story.

Here some VERY good story like "Lero and Anon" or "First impression" "Daring Douche" I almost forget about BUM stick thing.

>>30333082
What are you trying to say?

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>>30332945
Chh, you tell em',brah

It's like this whole board is fuckin', like, full of virgins and shit, dawg

>>30333116
I know right?

>>30332945
Yep, I've done it.

Thought it was the best thing ever.

Right up until the point where it suddenly transformed into the worst thing ever.

>Anon is rocking out in his dreams
>Lucid dreaming = bitchin' music videos
>Luna just so happens to stop by while he's singing villain songs
>Becomes convinced that he's secretly Equestria's newest supervillian threat, due to music magic logic
>Because why would anyone sing songs about being evil if they weren't evil?

>Luna is dismayed because she liked Anon
>It makes it hurt just a little bit worse when she sees him singing a villainous duet with an illusory Chrysalis.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBRXsAWBgFA
>Could they be allies?
>Could they be...
>Lovers?

>>30332627
Don't know how snappy it is, but the belgariad had Hrulgin, horse shaped predators with claws and sharp teeth.

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>>30333216
I like it.

>Luna continues to visit Anon's dreams to learn more about his dastardly plan.
>Each song Anon dreams about (coincidentally) tells a story that Luna can follow. And each song tells her something more about Anon.
>Anon and Chrysalis are planning something big.
>Anon is lying through his teeth to all of his friends.
>Anon enjoys it.
>But then Anon starts singing some guilty pleasures.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xGmx4K81Hc

>Luna decides she might be able to redeem him.
>N-not because her heart still goes dokidoki at the mere sight of him.
>Maybe Chrysalis is all Anon thinks he can rely on?
>Maybe she's just using him. That BITCH.

>Meanwhile Chrysalis has no idea who the fuck Anonymous is or why Luna is invading her dreams over him.

>>30333116
How would the M6 react to finding out you're a virgin?

>>30333228
>Belgariad
My nigga

>>30333358
I don't know how they'd all react, but I'm pretty goddamn fucking sure atleast Dash would laugh.

>>30333358
Rarara
>>30331967

>>30333375
>a guy laughing at a girl for being a virgin
>the guy is also likely a virgin

This is RGRE, remember.

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>>30333375
>>30333415
Yeah.

I'd half expect Dash to immediately start making moves.

>>30333426
>"...Is it supposed to be that crusty?"

>>30333045
This is what happens when you date a native of detroit

>>30333045
Why didn't you have your carry gun on you, anon?

>>30333463
Actually it was a Guatemalan chick who I worked with. She had me pick her up for a date at a shitty gas station. I get there and she convinces me to get out of my car. Her brother comes from fucking nowhere and stabs me. They took my wallet and car. Dude working at the gas station saw everything and called the 911. I spend a week in the hospital since the knife grazed my liver but managed not to do much more damage. They were both arrested in my car at the state line.

>>30333482
Because I was an idiot teenager.

So as this post is actually relevant to the thread
>Anon hooks up with the first willing mare after he arrives in Equestria
>They have a relationship for a few weeks before she gets bored and dumps him
>Anon is hurt since he had legitimate feelings for the mare
>Loses interest in relationships because of it
>Twilight Spergle hears about this and decides to show Anon that not all mares are like that

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>>30333252
Fund this.

>>30333514
This better be completely filled with sunhat tipping, mass spaghetti and general twilight brand autism.

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>>30333522

>>30333514
What does it feel like to get stabbed?

>>30333549
I imagine it stings a little bit.

>>30333549
shit fuck man you don't just go around asking people that !

>>30333553
Well, in detail. Was it immediate mind numbing pain? Was there a delay? If yes, how long was the delay? Was he able to walk around afterwards? If he wasn't, why? The pain? His body physically shutting down? Did he have a huge adrenaline rush like some people say they do? I'm curious.

>>30333558
Why not fagoli

>>30333585
Probably can't recall that in depth, since I imagine his body was 50% adrenaline at that point.

>>30333549
I felt an initial sharp stabbing. When I looked down at the bloody knife in the faggots hand and realized I had been stabbed I was fucking confused for a few seconds until the pain kicked me in the dick. If I remember it correctly I just started shouting "WHAT THE FUCK!" while she grabbed my wallet out of my pants. I dont really remember much of the feel beyond that. When the paramedics got there I was already in shock. I passed out shortly after they got me in the ambulance. I was out until after surgery.

What hurt most is coughing. The knife sliced right through the muscle so anything like bending or coughing set my fucking side on fire for a while afterwards.

>>30333603
Did you at least get back at those asswipes?

>>30333553
>>30333549
>>30333585
>>30333603
>on fire

I've never been stabbed but that sounds pretty much like how someone I have a few classes with described it.

Except in his case they left the knife in him and ran, he panicked and took the knife out, and then realized he probably shouldn't have done that and tried to put it back in.

He was calm about it but explained that he fucked up super hard in the heat of the moment.

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>>30333634
>and tried to put it back in.
Haha, what the fuck.

>>30333624
They are both in jail. Also I voted for Trump. So...I guess? Still lost out on the 80+ dollars in my wallet and my car was fucking wrecked. Insurance got me a shittier car and I managed to get off easy on the medical bills.

All in all I would rate it a 2/10. I would have preferred to do the penetration.

>>30333644
Adrenaline plus confusion does stupid things to your brain.

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>>30333656
>Also I voted for Trump.
Good man.

>>30333656
>>30333682
>Two idiot vote trump for end of american

>>30333699
Hey man, thanks for the Engrish post. Really activated my almonds.

>>30333699
Found the mexican

>>30333082
>>30333699
Your English is awful.
Stop posting.

So how would each pone go about asking there parents or family for advise in bagging anon?

What would they say to them?

> partly stolen >>30333037

>>30333724
Making that quoted post act as a link out of laziness.

>>30333037

>>30333724
>AJ would probably ask Granny but take it with a grain of salt. She might also go to Rainbow or Rarity depending on which has more experience.
>Pinkie would go to Twilight or Mrs. Cake
>Fluttershy would go to Rarity
>RD would go to Rarity and Twilight
>Rarity would go to whichever friend has the most experience
>Twilight would go to all her friends, then Celestia, then Luna, then everyone else in ponyville before FINALLY going to Cadence

>>30333724
>there
>advise
>double spacing
>space after >
You need to stop posting, Paco.

>>30333787
I identify as a taco, get your hate speech under control because it breeds violence against trans.

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>>30333699

>>30333549
It feels like a stabbing pain.

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>>30333549
One would imagine that it feels like having a knife jabbed into your body...

>>30330846
Please teach us lowly humans how to git gud @ writing

>>30333747
it would be a hilarious turn of events

>>30332782
>All those crossbreeds on the show
Are you retarded?

>>30333453
That green of 'An infection so bad she's now barren' dash comes to mind.

>>30332627
thracians

What happened to Durnk? Did he die? Did RGRE finally kill him, unable to handle his shitposts?

>>30333699
>>Two idiot vote trump for end of american
You're right. It is the end of America for you filthy wetbacks. Now get back over the border you crawled over and try to fix your fucking disgusting wasteland you call a country and stop going to others who don't want you.

>>30332537
I'll take qt satyrs please

>>30334249
alcohol poisoning

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Not really RGRE, but the idea of PegasiDad is too fucking adorable.
>Unable to fly himself, Anon was disappointed that he couldnt help his foals with this very important skill.
>Until he remembered a particular activity for certain bird owners back on earth.
>While he doesnt expect them to go into the pest control business any time soon, finding ribbon wrapped items and soft toys from the air and bringing them back is a sure fire way to improve their hoof-wing-eye cordination.
>He might not be able to take to the skies on his own, but he'll do everything he can to help his foals soar.

>>30333252

>Luna visits Anon's dream again.
>The imagery and surrounding is different
>No scheming evil minions just blasted and desolate land

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hr4knvNNgtU&

>Luna is scared and aroused. Is Anon just using Chrysalis? so he can lay waste to Equestria next?

>>30334521
Daww

it could easily be RGRE tho

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>>30334521

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>>30334533
>Luna is scared and aroused. Is Anon just using Chrysalis?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkU23m6yX04

>Luna thinks Anon is going to overthrow Chrysalis with her own minions before invading Equestria.
>Her scarousal goes through the roof as his song reaches it's climax.
>Has to leave the dream before she does she might not regret.

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>>30334611
>>Her scarousal goes through the roof as his song reaches it's climax.
The song is not the only thing climaxing there

>>30334611
>All these different songs and Identities.
> Evil spirit of corruption, a Lonely Prince and many others.
>Luna is convinced that Anon is just an unlucky soul to be reborn in unfortunate circumstances that turned or forced him to be evil
>Luna is determined to break that cycle with LOVE and a lot of rehabilitating snu-snu.
>All she needs to do is to dismantle Anon and Chrysalis' plot and partnership.
>She prepares herself from probably one the most harrowing experience she's going to go through.

>>30334624
>actual heart eyes
>in a cap from show
So they are confirmed canon now.

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>>30334703
>She resolves to join in on his next dream, determined to show him another way of life outside of evil villiany.
>The dream shudders almost imperceptibly as she takes control and inserts herself.
>The surroundings are reminiscent of saddle arabia and it's nighttime too, perfect.
>Finding anon on the balcony of the palace, she lets the dream flow naturally from then on so as not to disturb anon too much, trusting that her inclusion will be enough to ward off or even alter it's inevitable darkness.
>Letting the dream dictate her actions, she alights on the balcony as Anon addresses her.
"How are you doing that?"
>"I'm a magic horse."
>Even in the dreams of others this accursed autism haunts her.
"That's... nice."
>"You uh..., you dont want to go for a ride do you?"
>A blush comes to her face as she realises the double meaning.
>"We could, get out of the palace, see the world?"
"Is it safe?"
>"Sure, do you trust me?"
"...what?"
>Feeling the importantance of the moment, she injects some of her own desire to help him into her next words as she stares into Anon's eyes.
>"Do you trust me?"
>A moment of uncertainly flashes across his face before it morphs into a grin.
"...Yes."
>Clamboring onto her back, Luna makes sure Anon is secure before taking flight, words of a song coming to her from the dream.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HDcHEu00jg

>"I can show you the world..."

>>30334884
>Luna is the POV
>Anon's lines are ungreentexted
>evil villany
I... what?

>>30334884
jesus christ I read the filename as 'batpony'

>>30333549
Nothing just a bloody mess

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>>30335126
She took control of the dream, which flipped their two roles around, meaning Luna is the dashing princess come to sweep the caged stallion off his feet.
After the dream's he's been having lately she thinks he's secretly evil but can be redeemed.
I fucked up the greentext dialogue though, yeah.

>>30335159
eeeee

Was that green of an armoured Celestia going after Strawberry sunrise over Anon continued?

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>>30335236
No shit. I was referring to the fucked up greentext. But evil villainy is still a tautology, equal to saying dirty dirt, or something like that.

>>30332945
Yes. Yes, this is factually correct. Well done.

>>30335262
RGRE CATPONES
>Tiny, soft, and flexible ponies that can (and will) crawl into Anon's lap for a nap
>Some don't like their bellies touched, others love it
>Ear-scritching is compared to taking horse-cocaine in terms of raw pleasure
>Instead of purring, pegasi chirp
>Earth ponies are cuddle bugs
>Unicorns are the type who want to climb onto Anon's shoulders and then stay there
>The barely come up to his knee, and yet these ponies still worry for his safety and are convinced that he can't do half the things that "marely mares" like themselves can do

>Anon, drunk off his ass, licks the Elements of Harmony like one would with a toad.
>He's not well-liked in Equestria, the exceptions being Cadence, Spike, Dash, and Luna.
>Gets high magically.
>Wakes up next day as a MLP-styled horse.
>Turns out horses are mythological, and he's just become their physical equivalent to Venus, Aphrodite, Ishtar, etcetera.
>Ponies become split on whether he was always like this, hiding as a test for them that they failed or sign of humility, or is newly ascended.
>Some debate on whether he's actually their version of Artemis/Diana, who could be pretty cruel to the opposite (and often same) gender.
>They begin sperging.
>Shining feels inadequate, since his wife is now buds with a horse.
>Anon is just freaking the fuck out because of becoming a talking horse.

>>30335473
>"Anon-"
"That was my SLAVE name! My new name is Mister Ed!"

>>30335473
>the high wears off
>back to shitposter anon
>pones try to to notsosublty convince him to do it again

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>>30335473
>Anon becomes pic related
>He literally ran an entire day while Lightning Bolts strike his hoofsteps.
>because it's fuckin' Rad.
>Others think the newlyborn/reborn Godhorse is marking his territory.

>>30335529
At what point does this become Pokemon and ponies try to catch him?

>>30335567
thats kirin from monster hunter my man
he's only for slaying

>>30335567
It doesn't. Since he's now considered an Elder Dragon, dragon lords come to him to receive his blessing/seed, depending.

>>30335567
The moment they see a huge and strong "stallion" prancing around the countryside.
>>30335577
Slaying His/Their Virginity
>>30335579
Seed

>>30335577
>>30335579
>>30335586
Let me rephrase myself. At what point does this become my Japanese animes and the mares try to capture him for the purpose of raping him?

I've seen the hentais where some guys capture a lady elf, and Anon seems pretty close to a beautiful demi-god lightning horse.

>>30335602
It doesn't, because I'm fairly certain most pones are intelligent enough to realize an Elder Dragon would destroy them and anything they attempt to do to him non-consentually.

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>>30333375
>>30333426
>You caught on to the reverse gender roles quickly and lied, saying that you're a virgin.
>You don't want your friends to think you're a slut or something.
>Dash picks on you and teasingly flirts with you.
>You try to awkwardly play it off, accidentally cementing your "Virgin" story.
>Rainbow's flirting becomes more genuine and unsure when she finds herself actually smitten with you.
>Really, how can you say no?
>She's overjoyed with your answer.
>Your first night with her in bed, though, she nervously admits something to you.
>She's a virgin herself. All her stories about bagging stallions were just that. Stories.
>You come clean and tell her you're NOT a virgin. You just didn't want others to think poorly of you.
>Naturally, you have to take the lead since the relationship turned sexual.
>Rainbow nervously leaves herself at your mercy and guidance in bed.

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>>30335652
YES

>>30335577
>Only for laying
got you fampai

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>>30335652
>lied, saying that you're a virgin.
Wow, I bet you kiss girls faggot

>>30335526
>"He's assuming his disguise again!"
>"What does it mean?"
>"He's a god. Who knows how they think."

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>>30335652
>You let Rainbow brag afterwards that she "rocked [your] world" to save some face with her friends (because she's really good at giving head)
>You draw the line when she starts bragging how her pegasus pussy made you swear off earth ponies and unicorns forever

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>>30335729
And that's why you don't waifu the trashoers.

>>30335425
my heart can't take it

>>30335755
Hi Lap

>>30335652
>Rainbow nervously leaves herself at your mercy and guidance in bed.
why did this only give me feels?

>>30335755
>He doesn't want to snuggle the pegasi chest fluff
I'm not angry, but I AM disappointed.

>>30335729
>Luna visits your dreams to see if she can make you an alicorn only slut

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>>30335652
>Rainbow whimpers slightly as you loom over her.
>Despite the nervous sound, her wings are rigidly extended and her tail is high, letting the scent of her arousal fill the room.
>With a shaky breath she turns and lowers her front half, her tail flicking to the side as she enters an instinctual mounting position.
>The pegasus looks back at you with her ears pinned back. "Anon? I-I know this is going to sound lame, but can you..."
>Her voice lowers to a whisper "P-please be gentle?"
>Even with a slow pace, you still found a noise complaint tacked to your door the next morning.

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>>30335801

>>30335844
>Neighbors are worried that Rainbow is hurting that nice young stallion who lives nextdoor to them

>>30335652
>lying about being a virgin
literally the worst

>>30335848
>Pegasi chest-fluff has more significance to it than unicorn or earth pony chest-fluff
>Since pegasi are so naturally mobile, there is little time for cuddling in a pegasi's life.
>And because they're often in the air, being in contact with one another can lead to losing flight-control and possible crashes.
>Think how pilots try not to fly their planes too close to other planes
>Pegasi have a built-in instinct that tells them cuddling is only done between ponies who trust each other not to knock them out of the sky.
>For Rainbow to let Anon cuddle her chest-fluff, it's a sign that she sees him as a very important figure in her life
>Anon does not know this, but many other ponies who see Rainbow guide Anon's face to her chest-fluff DO know that
>Cue "d'aww"s from the surrounding ponies

>Alicorns can't have children.
>The magic in their bodies just means the seed of other magical stallions can't take, overpowering it.
>Flurry Heart was the exception and a fluke because of how uniquely synergised Shining and Cadence are, magically.
>After some research of Anon being magically inert (alien, and all), Celestia comes to a startling realisation.
>Anon's seed would take, since he has no conflicting magic to be overpowered by their own.
>Baby-crazy alicorns begin stalking Anon.

>>30335978
>>30335983
I really want greens of both of these

>>30335983
Yes, this.

And fuse it with slightly sexist/racist Celestia.

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>>30335978
D'aww

>>30335983
>After some research of Anon being magically inert (alien, and all), Celestia comes to a startling realisation.
>Anon's seed would take, since he has no conflicting magic to be overpowered by their own.
Cue furious lovemaking session lasting a full week.

>>30335978
I want this and for this>>30335983
to be combined with these
>>30336010
>>30336031

>>30336095
I want every green to be mixed into one horrifying nightmare of words.

>>30336101
>Nightmare
I wish...

>>30336101
RGRE: Literally Every Character has Severe Multiple Personality Disorder edition

>>30331008
>It's just him in a discount princess peach dress
>He doesn't even change his tone of voice
>>Still fools every single villain without fail

>>30333037
Reminds me a bit of that pdf story that was posted a few weeks ago. Would like to see this prompt continue though.

>>30333699
>horrible english

You have to go back.

>>30335483
This made me laugh harder than I was expecting. Well done anon.

>>30334533
Tim curry is the fucking best

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>>30333699

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>>30335483

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>>30336272
http://www.mediafire.com/view/2s7h8ctx48sbff1/Spencer,_Wen_-_A_Brother's_Price.pdf

For those that missed it.

>>30336773
Can you summarise it in a sentence, anon?

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>>30335801
>going to a ponelet athlete for chest fluff
If you're searching for the best, there is only one answer.

Father's Day is probably really important in RGRE. Mares going out buying flowers and last-minute chocolates, taking their husbands out to nice dinners, maybe even sending the horse children to bed early.

Imagine Anon reaction to his first-ever Father's Day.
>Poorly-made breakfast in bed
>Cuddles from his horse children
>Wine and salad at a restaurant from his wife (or beer and some nice steak if she knows him well enough and the "clueless sexist mare" thing isn't being played for laughs)
>Anon politely declining a day at the spa from a gaggle of giggling stallion who also have children
>Oral sex
>SO MUCH oral sex

>>30335983
Sort of....
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/355528/touch-the-sun
It's lol. Mostly b/c twiggles steals it by being an insensitive thrush.

>>30336851

Synopsis

>"On an alternate Earth, where the population is ninety percent female and a man is sold by his sisters to marry all the women note in a family, Jerin Whistler is coming of age. His mothers are respected landed gentry, his grandfather a kidnapped prince, and his grandmothers common line soldiers blackballed for treason, trained by thieves, re-enlisted as spies, and knighted for acts of valor. Jerin wants to marry well, and his sisters want a husband bought by his brother’s price."

There's some worldbuilding that you won't get from a summary of the main plot, but being kidnapped and sold for a lot of money or kidnapped and "married" (called a husband raid) is a real and present threat. Sisters are raised watch over their unmarried brothers whenever possible. MC's grandfather was a victim of a successful husband raid.

>>30336865
>Too small to snuggle like a fluffy pillow
There's a reason nobody's dicked the princesses.

>>30336872
>Anon courts Luna
>Has foals with her
>Cue archaic father's day from 1000 years ago

>>30336936
>You are Anon, and you are sitting at home reading a book.
>Distantly, you hear a door creak open.
>"HUSBAND RAID!"
>You're sorry, what?
>Without warning, you're covered in 5 or 10 tiny ponies who are trying to wrestle you out your front door.

>>30336872
>denying a day at the spa


>Be Anon
>Soaking in a warm mineral-mud bath
>Your face has a green-tea infused masque on it, slowly drying away the fatigue of the day
>And what a day
>First a round in the sauna, then some mint juleps followed by a deep tissue massage and then sushi
>Actual, real fucking sushi. Apparently pegasai and gryphons from the coast ship it in on request, and Applejack's been expanding her contacts ever since you told her about Amazon from back home
>So you got some apple pie in your future, ifyouknowwhatImean
>You grunt as Caramel slides over your naked lap, and you mumble a half-audible warning about taking your whiskey
>N-no homo
>He's reaching for something on your end of the tub, but, whatever
>First year or so you were here, you rejected everything that wasn't a sports massage
>Then you started to drink while getting rubbed down, and....
>....things have escalated now
>But holy shit if you don't feel fantastic after a day of being pampered and doted on hand-and-foot
>Big Mac even had Aloe and Vera "fight" each other in the mud bath while the guys made bets
>What a card
>A barrel and a flank press right up against your junk, and with a lazy shove you push the offender into the center of the bath
>There's no fucking way anything is going to make you open your eyes or destroy your buzz
>Not accidental guy-groping
>and not a shit prompt like that.


But seriously, have you ever been to a top-tier spa? Like, 4 or 5 star shit - Open unlimited bar, dry and wet saunas - all sortsa crazy shit. I would never turn that down, ever.

Hell, I'd even let them wax the boys - gotta look FAB, son, for the Mrs'es.Especially if I'm going to pump some more foals into them

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>>30336944
>Princess "Hotflanks" Celestia
>Too small
>Compared to a petite stalliony Dash

>>30337011
fuck wait no I meant that the other way around. Princess is too big to be used as a pillow like tiny fluffy pegasus is. Why do I keep fucking things up like that? What's Luna's nickname?
Something unflattering like "dick-biter"?

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>>30337011
>Rainbow
>Tiny tuft
Rainbow probably has enough estrogen raging through her to give her a tuft more fitting a mare twice her size.

>>30337004
Bnw confirmed for prancing la-la homo man?

>>30337030
Story where pegasi try to tempt Anon with their chest tufts when?

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>>30337028
>What's Luna's nickname?
Obviously Lucid Dream

>>30337034
unf.

>>30337074
>Luna is attracted to Anon
>Visits one of his dreams that, by pure coincidence, involves Luna (but non-sexually)
>Luna's presence and her attraction to Anon triggers a change in the dream, and dream-Luna suddenly starts doing l-lewd things to Anon
>Luna is unaware that she was responsible for the change and is under the impression that Anon wants her tiny rump
>Cue real-life consequences to dreams in the form of a letter inviting Anon to visit Canterlot Castle

We had someone asking what would happen if you found a way to meet your family again after already settling in Equestria and starting a family. Did that go anywhere?

>Anon somehow meets his friend and/or brother Nito after years of being apart
>At first, he teases Anon for acting like a housewife after living in RGREville
>However, things get a bit to real, and Anon reminds Nito that he at least has a loving wife
>Fells ensue

>>30337357
>fells ensue
>the fucking Burning Legion shows up and everything goes to shit

>>30337357
>"Yeah, yeah, 'Anon fucks horses'; laugh it up, Nito. You know what? I go to bed every night with the woman I love in my arms, and I get to kiss my kids on the head before they go to school in the morning. Are you still living in that shitty apartment all by yourself?"
>thelaughterstops.png

>>30337421
>It turns out Nito got sent to Azeroth
>He went through some crazy shit and traveled through the Twisting Nether to reach you
>Some of the Burning Legion got curious where this mortal was going and hitched a ride
>Fucking Nito

>>30337357
>"God Anon your such a faggot"
>You chuckle along with Nito at the old joke
>You are about to respond when Nito's eyes shift to look at something behind you
>Turning around you see your little filly playing in the room behind you
>"She is adorable. I will give you that Anon."
>You turn back and really look at Nito
>Where you first saw your old friend unchanged you now see the truth
>His hair line receeding slightly, crows feet forming at the corners of his eyes, and a weariness that you dont remember
>The conversation lays dead as he stares at your daughter with a slight frown on his face
"Nito..."
>He shakes his head and looks back at you
>"Sorry. Its just..."
>He takes a drink of his coffee
>"Jessica got preganant after you vanished. A boy."
>His eyes stare down into his drink as if seeing the past in it
>"He was born with a brain defect. He died within hours."
>You reach over and place a hand on his arm
"I am so sorry."
>"Its ok. Well anyways after that me and her just couldnt be around each other much. Too much pain. We ended up splitting up."
>You nod and tighten your grip on your friends arm
>"Seeing your little one over there just made me realize how much I wanted what you have now."
>You get up and wrap your friend in a hug
>Maybe these ponies have made you soft but you couldnt stand seeing him in pain like that
"Its alright man. Its not too late. The ponies here are kind and loving. Go. Start that family."
>He sniffs a bit before gently pushing you off him
>"Maybe you are right. Anyways man I gotta go see a princess about a house."
>You walk him to the door and wish him luck
>As he walks away he stops and yells back at you
>"Anon that was really gay by the way. Thought you should know faggot."

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>>30336773

>>30337600
You're a good man.

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>>30337126
>is under the impression that Anon wants her tiny rump
T-tiny rump?
>Luna keeps scouting Anon's dreams, 'j-just to investigate' and totally not because she finds them hot. Her subconsciousness keeps projecting onto the dream-Luna, and the circle continues.
>She starts feeling guilty about that. What if she is corrupting the poor, innocent and pure stallion with her irresistible sexiness?
>Cue mix of wanting to use him as a royal breeder and white-knight his honor.
>This is going to be one interesting visit for Anon either way.

>>30332942
>It's only fetish shit because it's something -I- don't like
>Instead of simply ignoring it, must throw shit at those who dares bring up things I dislike

>>30337266
there were a few responses a like a quick 5 line green but nothing much, but I would love to see that
>Manly man dad is either extremely disappointed or extremely proud of you in you depending on whether you became a man by Equestrian standards or kept your full-blooded earth standards
>Despite how weird he finds them he's impressed you were able to snag a pony like your waifu
>He gives you extra points if you herded
>Meanwhile all the single mares left in town are thrilled to meet the man who made Anonymous and who, despite his age, is considered top tier dilf by the mares
>Your mom is just happy your safe then immediately goes to criticize how poorly kept your house is and makes sure to interrogate your wife to make sure she's being good to you
>Bonus points from her if you gave her grandfoals
>Siblings are weirded out and disgusted at you for fucking a pony
>They're even more weirded out when the ponies keep trying to hit on them

>>30337680
>Your snarky brother gives you shit for getting married to a bunch of ponies and making pony babies.
>Genuinely offended, you bite back a retort.
>Mom and dad already told you how he lost his house and kids in his divorce. You're not going to be the one to re-open that wound.

>>30337629
>Luna is a bundle of sexually-frustrated nerves
>Tries to say two things at once: to tell him that it's nice to meet him face-to-face, and to ask him if he wants to sit down for some tea
>Like the "are you fucking sorry" meme, it gets mixed up
>"G-Greetings, Anonymous! W-Would you like to sit on my face?"
>Anon and Celestia think it's hilarious; Luna is humiliated and can only be brought back by hugs from Anon

>>30337500
I like thing. Not rgre enough

>>30337680
>>30337266
Is there a green about anon who's not happy to see his family, and that part of the perk of being in equestria was that they couldnt find him?
Asking for a friend

>>30337861
...I'd like to see one where he's married to Candy Ass, and has like five foals running around.
>Cue asshole human family's reactions.

>>30337266
>They freak out when they see a young satyr kid running up to you and wondering if the ones you are talking to is her grandparents
>Not because it's a satyr, but because it shows that you went and fucked a pony
>Your parents thought better of you

>>30337905
>satyr
Ruined it

>>30337878
>Mom is angry until one of Anon's little foals comes up to her and asks if she's "grandma"
>Cue hugs
>Cadence rolls her eyes and wonder where Anon got all his marely behaviour from, what with his mother being so stallion-like

>>30337905
I would freak out too when I figure out they have magic to stop mutants from being born. Don't penalize your kids for your fetish.

>>30337927
I prefer the pokemon method (same species as mother with the smaller details taken from the father) but I don't understand this fetish accusation for satyrs. How is it anymore a fetish than wanting to fuck magic alien horses?

>>30337918
>This is the timeline where you knocked up teen Cadence and stay together
>You just turned 30, and your oldest foal is 13 going on 14.
>Your mom does the math and nearly beats your ass for being a teen parent.
>Nevermind that you married Cadence before your first was born and they your kids have never been wanting for anything.

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>>30337784
>Luna is a bundle of sexually-frustrated nerves
I want to unbundle her nerves, if you know what I mean.

>>30337034
I mean... yes? Do you know how many times I've been OP?

>>30337927
>>30337963
Oh boy, here we go. Goodbye, the next 100 posts of RGRE.

>>30337963
>I prefer the pokemon method (same species as mother with the smaller details taken from the father)
Completely agree
>but I don't understand this fetish accusation for satyrs.
A quick look in the thread they should stay in makes it pretty obvious, plus the obvious unneeded mutant kid.
>How is it anymore a fetish than wanting to fuck magic alien horses?
And now I know your baiting me, magic alien horses aren't mutant freaks that cant control how their kids turn out...unless this is somehow the FOE thread, in which case it works for them.

>>30337963
>I don't understand this fetish accusation for satyrs. How is it anymore a fetish than wanting to fuck magic alien horses?
It's not. It's just some autistic retard running around and screaming at everyone who talks about things he does not approve of.

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>>30337999
>>30338000

>>30338007
Yeah, we do get great gets here.

>>30338007
>Caring about repeating digits that are not quints or higher
Are you from /b/?

>>30338026
What are you talking about newfag? We always appreciate good digits here.

>>30338000
He's not saying that satyrs are cool, he's questioning the specific usage of the word "fetish" to refer to them them. This entire exchange is:

>"So I notice you call nazis 'frimbles'. I think that's silly."
>>"What are you, some kind of frimble sympathizer?"

Let's go back to RGRE poners.

>You will never fluster Luna
>The way you wear clothing mixed in with conversation about humanity's nudity taboo will never make Luna uncomfortably aware of her own nudity
>She will never worry that she's flashing you her cooter and take actions to cover herself
>These actions will never inevitably result in her accidentally showing you her juicy horse pussy

>>30338042
>We always appreciate good digits here, newfag.
Yeah, if they are 666 or higher than quads, you newfag. We're not like those retards in /b/ who praises every single fucking dub and trip. If that was the case, then all of /mlp/ would be filled with replies like >>30338007

>>30338102
>Luna's juicy horse pussy
I choose to believe that Luna's cutie mark are actually a bad case of freckles that extend the length of her body, and that she has dark spots all over her pussy. Anon can make all sorts of astrology puns that boil down to "I'm going to orally pleasure you".

>Getting this upset over a check'em
What a bunch of newfags. That was a joke.

>>30338110
It takes 40~ minutes for someone to get trips on /mlp/, longer when it's night it burgerland like now.
It's not rare per se but it's not worth getting upset at someone checking them for

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>>30328047
Violate the bat

>Anon introduces Luna to his Ma.
>Luna introduces herself in a grandeous way, with all her titles.
>Ma looks at him. "So you married a pony goddess and have seven little foals running around, each of which is a walking weapon of mass destruction."
"...They're cute, too."

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>pony waifu is nervous about meeting your mother
>she assumes human women are even marelier than the men (how else do they keep them in line?) and are monster amazons

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>>30338119
I too decided to ignore that part of S7E10. Freckles Luna a cute.
A CUTE

>>30338176
>Cue Anon's mother being the most "mom" mom there ever was
>Likes baking, dotes over her children/grandchildren, wonders why her single children haven't found a nice man/woman yet and settled down
>Pone waifu is terrified as Anon's mom approaches, only to get pulled into a hug and offered a saran-rapped plate of still-warm chocolate chip cookies
>Pone waifu doesn't know what to expect out of life anymore

>>30338141
>It takes 40~ minutes for someone to get trips on /mlp/
Do you only hang out in one or two threads here on /mlp/?
>when it's night it burgerland
>it burgerland
Well, it all makes sense now.

>>30338204
>Some horse cocks are molted; have spots of dark and light skin
>Luna's pussy is the same; blots of cutie mark splotches cover her nether-lips
>Anon uses them as reference points for when he goes down on her

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>>30338229
>Luna finds it both extremely embarrassing and hot when Anon starts mapping them off memory in public

>>30338261
>Anon makes a star chart of her ass
>Invents constellations and gives them names

>>30338176
>Meanwhile she thinks nothing of the father
>Not in a condescending way of course just in the way that she won't need to worry about him as much as the mother
>The father overhears this when the parents arrived early
>Nowyoufuckedup.parchment
>Decides to take on your wife and all her friends and you in a manly mans contest
>Why? Because "marely mare" sounds fucking gay son that's why I thought you would've known better
>He ends up drinking every pony and yourself under the table

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>>30338388
>As a result all he can now talk dirty in public without other ponies realising.
>They still think he is this pure, innocent colt, fit for the bashful and slightly introvert princess.
>They don't quite understand why, during one of the royal stargazing parties in the palace gardens, he seems to be so passionate about some of the constellations, but colts are colts.
>So what if he described Aquarius as if it had an amazing taste, or the Sagittarius to have a silky smooth, velvety touch to it?
>The royal pair is so happy together, and they love to see their princess smile.
>Meanwhile Luna is leaking like a decommissioned submarine under her dress.
>Her husband has been making lewd remarks for the entire evening.
>Oh she is going to ride him dry when they get to their private chambers for this.
>S-stupid sexy colts.

>>30333656
I'm really sorry to hear that happening to you Anon

I'm mexican and most of the people I know hate Guatemala and the fucks coming here with a burning passion, that's why I think it's hypocritical that they bitch about Trump tbqh considering all that we do to keep them out.

>>30338525
"Hey, Lulu, can we take a closer look at the Carmine constellation tonight?"
>"B-Buck~"

>A mare you barely know will never court you, claiming love at first sight

>>30338570
>love at first sight

I can't help but remember that Roseluck story, Tacet. It's a really cute concept and I'd like to see more stuff like it in other fics.

>>30338525
what is english

>>30338596
>Anon meets the eyes of some mare in town
>Suddenly her entire life flashes before his eyes
>When everything clears, the mare is staring at him gob-smacked; apparently she just went through the same experience
>Anon knows everything about her and has fallen in love, as though they had known each other for years
>Today Anon learns that "love at first sight" is a real thing that happens in Equestria
>Anon is a little put off by her attitude towards stallions in the work place, but he's come to expect a bit of sexism from mares

>>30338637
I'm sorry, your point is?

>>30338637
A language spoken by several million people.

>>30338637
an ethnic group mostly coming from the southern british isles

>>30338637
A miserable pile of secrets

>>30338637
This is like asking "what is morse code" in morse code. You already know the answer, silly.

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i want satyr babbies

lots of them

>>30336010
>racist Celestia
I hope you mean positive racism like genuinely asking "Do you want a banana?" because she thinks it'll make Anon like her faster.

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>>30338637
Something they don't speak in Equestria.

>Anon has to learn how to speak Equis.
>He's also spell resistant so they can't cheat either.
>He's seen as even more foreign and exotic.
>Mares say lewd stuff about him while he's there because they're sure he can't understand.
>They patronize and underestimate him even more, because they think he's cutesy and childish due to being unable to fully articulate himself.
>While tutoring him Twilight (or some other pony) starts to develop a crush on him.
>She wants to try courting him even though it will be difficult since the language barrier hasn't completely crumbled.

>>30338999
>racist Celestia

>Celestia tries to be rude and racist to Anon, but 1000 years of being a mother to her little ponies has taken away her ability to be truly hurtful
>Anon is subject to slightly mean-spirited pranks at the absolute worst, and nothing that does anything to physically harm him or his possessions
>It's mild enough that Anon thinks that Celestia is trying to get his attention like a school girl with a crush, and reacts positively to her
>Celestia is adorably outraged at this predicament