Drunk pony thread

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>>30321423
>Whats that anon?
>You want me to take a look at your computer screen?
>Why would someone talk about drunk ponies?
>Your weird anon.

>>30321423
>Pretty sure my brother likes stallions. And I don't care, shoot I don't think anyone in my family cares
Now that's just nonsense.

If an Apple stallion can't make foals then he ain't no stallion.

Gay stallions in the Apple family are publicly gelded in their family reunions

>>30321462
>Yotsuba knowing what alcohol is
>Yotsuba knowing what being drunk is

I can accept her knowing what ponies are.

>>30321473
>implying in her later years: 20~ she doesn't become a massive drunk due to hysteria and dimensia

>>30321489
Perhaps, but we're not talking about a hypothetical adult Yotsuba, we're talking about the canon child Yotsuba, as evidenced by the poster's image and her general innocent demeanor.

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>>30321462
>Stop having fun
>>30321473
>>30321489
>>30321513
>Replying to shitposting
>>30321466
And this reply is so shit I'm surprised it doesn't have the word 'cuckshed' in it

Well screw you guys too.

>>30321544
>this reply is so shit
Yeah, because a highly traditional family tolerating faggotry in their midst totally makes more sense

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>>30321563
Bomb the Kremlin and blame it on ISIS

>>30321423
So are we going to fuck or what?

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>>30321473

>>30321423
"I don't care, I just need another drink. "

>>30321423
>The mare sitting next to you knocks back another drink, exhaling sharply before waving over the bartender for yet another refill and continuing her rant.
>"And ya know what the worst part is?"
>You take a sip of your own drink, letting the soft, smoky flavor bloom on your tongue and nodding for her to continue.
>"Worst part is I don’t even care anymore. About any of it."
>The stallion behind the bar brings back the bottle of amber liquid and pours another glass with tight, practiced motions.
>Which she promptly gulps down, gesturing for more.
>The owner shoots you a sideward glance before indulging her and trotting off.
>"Sometimes I just want to get my work done and for the whole world to leave me alone. I don’t want to hear about your problems, I don’t want to be the one to have to tell you to stop screwing around and by the moon, I don’t want to save the sodding world every five minutes."
>Your drinking companion turns to look at you, blinking as if she only just now realized you were there to begin with.
>Her eyes are a dark shade of green glowing mysteriously in the dim twilight of the bar.
>"I mean, can’t a mare just focus on her orchard for a change? Is that so much ta ask…"
>You don’t really know the pony but you can’t help but feel for her.
>Sure, you take drinking to be a solitary sport yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can’t listen to a good alcohol-induced rant if called upon.
>Beats sitting in the dark and daring your liver to a staring contest anyway.
>Raising your glass to clink it with hers, you polish off your drink.
>The mare mirrors your actions, her eyes already searching for the bartender to get started on the next round.

>>30322589
>It’s a few drinks later when the pony with the surprisingly high tolerance finally starts showing signs of slowing down.
>Fumbling with her hairband, she lets her mane fall around her face, the long golden streaks framing her cheeks, the color complementing her eyes in a strange but fitting way.
>The barkeeper has long since left the bottle, shaking his head with a sigh and judging his time to be better spent by serving the customers at the other end of the bar instead of refilling the same glass every few minutes.
>"Just because I make a livin’ growin’ apples doesn’t mean I want my whole persona to be defined by apples, ya know? Apples this, apples that. 'Oh, AJ, how long ‘til cider season? Oh, AJ, can ya bring me one of ya Granny’s famous apple pies?'"
>Her words are getting heavier, more slurred, the clipped accent from before more unchecked now.
>Seems like her drunkenness is finally catching up with her.
>Holding the bottle between her hooves, "AJ" polishes off the rest of its contents in a long, hefty swig.
>With a heavy sigh and a victorious grin, she slumps down onto the counter.
>Resting her head on the wooden bar, her eyes find yours again, her hat abandoned on an empty stool next to her.
>"Can’t I just be 'Jack' for once?"

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I want to get Sunset drunk and then tickle her hooves.

>>30322595
Go one

>>30321423
Bump

Drunk sex is normal?

>>30324144
Not really no.

>>30322808
I was get Sunset drunk then light her on fire.

>>30322595
Yeah keep em coming

>>30322595
>"Can’t I just be 'Jack' for once?"
This. This is what I call her.

>>30321423

>>30328054
what did he mean by this?

>>30322595

>You've always resisted the urge to pick up drunk mares at bars.
>Drunk, sloppy sex was not a turn-on for you.
>This, however, is your friend, and she's hurting.
>You know she cried on the inside.
>You know she buries her pain way down deep so she never has to burden anyone else with it.
>You realize that she's just peeled back her defenses a bit, and showed you a glimpse of what's underneath.
>Her eyes search yours for solace.
>There is no way you could deny her.
>Tentatively, you reach over and gently caress her muzzle.
"You've always been 'Jack' to me. I just like keeping up appearances for the others."
>After a moment, she smiles and clutches one hoof onto your hand.
>Gently guiding it to her mouth, she plants a soft kiss there.
>"Somehow I knew. I knew that i-if I could count on anyone, it would be you."
>She kisses your hand again, and then gently suckles on your finger.
>"Ahem."
>You turn to see the bartender giving you a look that just oozes, "It's late and I'd like to lock up now, go do that someplace else."
>With an embarrassed grin you reach into your pocket and dump enough bits on the bar to cover both of your tabs.
"Have a good night. Let's get you home now, Jack."
>"Okay. You're a real swell fella."
"Yeah, but don't go telling everyone, my reputation will be ruined."
>Applejack laughs at this as you gather up her hat and help her out the door.
>Once in the street, she loses her footing almost immediately.
"Good job making it out of the bar, anyhow."
>"Aw shuddup. You didn't have near as much as I did."
"Yeah, that might not have been the wisest choice. Ups-daisy."
>She's surprisingly heavy, all that dense muscle you suppose, but you soon get her into a comfortable carrying position.
>Applejack helps out, sorta, but wrapping her forelegs around your neck.
>"My hero," she whispers into your ear.
>You set off towards Sweet Apple Acres slowly, mindful of the effects your own libations have had on your equilibrium.
>"Where ya going?" she asks.

>>30329819
(Not the guy who started it, but couldn't bear to leave it in that discontinued state)

"Umm, taking you home? Back to the farm?"
>She shakes her head with surprising vigor.
>"Nuh-uh. Too many ponies. Your place."
>Well, your place is also closer, but...
"Won't your family be concerned if you don't-"
>"Ahm a big mare, Anon. They know ah can take care o' myself, an' then some."
"In this state?"
>"I'll flip you for it."
"I don't have a coin-WHOA!"
>WHAM!
>With a subtle shift of her weight, Applejack upsets your balance and brings you crashing down, pinned beneath her weight.
>"Ah win. Your place." She smiles unsteadily and kisses your nose, just to make the point.
"Sure. Just as soon as I get my breath back."
>You make a mental note that you shouldn't argue with an inebriated farm pony.
>Applejack obligingly rolls off of you and regains her somewhat unsteady hooves, and patiently waits while you regain your footing.
"Okay. This way."
>"Ahem."
"Ah. Right."
>Looks like she's expecting the total treatment.
>So you carefully scoop her into your arms once more as she nestles into your warm torso.
"Just don't go dusting me again like you just did."
>"Pardner, that ain't even half of what I've got planned for you."
>She finishes off this threat by teasing your earlobe with her soft lips.
>Notwithstanding, you make it to your place without any unseemly incidents.
>ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED - made it home drunk without vomiting
>Applejack is half-asleep now, and mumbles lightly as you set her down on the couch.
>She won't let go.
"Jack, I'm gonna need my arms for a bit."
>She opens her eyes and looks into yours, the spark of primal need shining strongly.
>"Hurry back," she says as she releases you.
>With control of your arms returned to you, you set down her hat, close the door, and turn on a light, and fetch a couple glasses of water from the kitchen, before rejoining her on the couch.

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>>30330068

>Applejack has sat herself upright, waiting for you to join her.
>"Ooh, water. Classy."
>Sarcasm detected.
"It helps blunt the 'morning after' experience. This is not my first bender by a long shot."
>You take one of the glasses and sip it, as she scoots over to you.
>"It ain't mine neither, but I didn't have you bring me here to take care of me. Well, not like that anyhow."
>Dem eyes.
>Are you really going to do this?
>Applejack makes the decision for you, pressing her lips to yours in an insistent kiss.
>You set your water down out of harms way, then lightly trace your fingertips up the sides of her barrel, drawing a shiver from the mare.
>It's immediately followed by a soft poke at your lips, her tongue requesting access.
>You obligingly part your lips as she hungrily opens her mouth, deepening the kiss and practically taking your breath away as her tongue probes further in, seeking yours.
>As her tongue begins wrestling yours into submission, she shifts her weight and presses herself into your torso some more.
>You both gasp for air as she breaks the kiss, but she recovers quickly and drags her tongue across your throat and up your jawline, finishing by nibbling your ear with her lips as your hands explore her soft coat.
>"Anon, I'm a mare with needs, and right now I need you inside of me."
>To your surprise she levers herself up off of you and drops to her hooves on the floor.
>She spreads her muscular rear legs and flicks her tail up and to the side, giving you an unobstructed view of her dripping, winking sex.
>"Well c'mon Anon, get over here and rut me!"
>You grin and undo the fastening of your belt, slowly.
>"Hurry up!"
>You slowly unbutton your fly, grinning at her like a Cheshire Cat the whole time.
>"Dammit Anon, you'd best not be teasing me now, get on with it!"

>>30321423
>roleplaying
Delete this

>>30330755

>With a surprisingly smooth motion, given your heroic intake of alcohol tonight, you raise your hips off the couch and push your trousers down, bending over to get them clear of your knees.
>Then you wrap your arms around her barrel and pick her up as you settle back into the couch, drawing a squeak of surprised protest from her as you carefully turn her to face you.
>"Anon, quit fooling around!"
"Sshhhh. I thought I might try something a little different than what you're used to."
>"What kind of nonsense are you-oooohhh"
>Her protest dies and her expression melts as she feels the tip of your spear slide up between her teats and along her entrance.
>You feel her clit winking against the base of your shaft.
>To avoid injury, you carefully position her rear hooves on either side of your hips, then squirm deliberately, letting her juices coat your shaft.
>She gulps and recovers, a slightly anxious look in her eyes.
>"I... I aint never done it like this before."
"I suspected as much."
>You reach up and tickle her ear as you pull her to you, kissing her gently on the lips.
>She returns the kiss with growing enthusiasm, causing her to wink faster.
>This time you break the kiss.
"So, are you ready to try something new?"
>With only the barest hesitation she nods, biting her lip.
>You widen your grin and lift her up just enough, your eyes fixed on hers the whole time.
"Okay, it's rodeo time!"
>You gently lower her body, and her expression changes as she feels you enter her.
>The muscles of her hot, wet tunnel immediately begin contracting and rippling against the head of your cock, trying to pull it further in.
>A blissful look spreads across her face as you let gravity do most of the work, slowly impaling her.
"You okay Jack?"
>She just manages to moan out, "Oh, never better!" as she relaxes the tension in her legs, allowing herself to drop completely down to your hilt with a wet smack.

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>>30330868
dick status: muh

>>30330868

>Her clit strokes the base of your shaft as she accustoms herself to the sensation of you inside her.
>"Oh fuck, it's been too long!"
>You lightly trace your fingers up and down her barrel, causing her to shiver, and she quickly gets the idea, bracing her hooves against the couch.
>"Hang on then, Anon, I'm taking you for a ride!"
>She raises herself up and lets gravity pull her back down, quickly settling into a rhythm that's comfortable for her.
>You settle your hands on her thighs, your thumbs playing with the hard nubs at the peak of her teats, causing her to gasp.
>"Oh yeah, I begin to see the advantages now!"
>She picks up her pace, her fore hooves now clutching your shoulders as she brings her lips into yours for another kiss.
>This time your tongue wins the wrestling match as her breathing quickens, and she moans and coos into your mouth, her rhythm never wavering.
"Uh, I'm already getting close..."
>"Me too partner, don't you dare go without me!"
"Are you sure you want me to-"
>"Hell yeah," she interrupts, "Inside!"
"Okay then!"
>You start thrusting your hips up to meet her needful humping, meeting her rhythm perfectly.
>"Yee-HAH!"
>Probably the second-best review of your performance in bed you've ever gotten.
>Followed immediately by the first-place winner as she gasps and spasms, her pussy clamping down on you with a powerful, undulating grip, as hot fluids begin to wash over your balls.
>This immediately sends you over the edge, sending powerful jets through your dick and into her hungry womb.
>You lean up off the couch and wrap your arms around her as you both ride out your climax together.
>Slowly, the reverberations of your passion begin to fade, leaving you with a sweat-dampened, trembling farm pony in your arms.
>Gradually, her breathing slows to a more normal rate, and she begins to plant small, tender kisses on your cheek.
>"Thanks partner, I think I really needed that."
>You kiss her lips, softly.
"Any time."

>>30330967

>You make as if to lift her off of you, but she stops you.
>"Keep still, Anon. I just want to feel you here, joined with me for a while."
>You kiss her lips again.
"Alright."
>You reach down the couch and grab the blanket you keep handy for guests, shaking it open and carefully settling it over the both of you, before wrapping your arms around her barrel once more.
>Applejack sighs in blissful contentment and leans against you, planting a couple more kisses in the hollow of your throat.
>And you both relax in the afterglow as sleep gently takes you, conducting you together into the warmth and comfort of one-another's company.

Hope you enjoyed the smut.

>>30330995
This is god's work, Anon. Thanks so much for writing this!

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>>30330995
nice, I hope this thread gains some traction, it has a lot of potential for short green, romance or smut could work really well here

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>>30321423
NDT pls

>>30330755
>>30330868
>>30330967
>>30330995
Uh...this is rape? Not cool, asshole

>>30331216

Bitch, where do you even think you are?

Also:

>"Well c'mon Anon, get over here and rut me!"

I would call that explicit verbal consent.

>rape

Indeed.

So what's /mlp/ drinking tonight?

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>>30331216

>>30331361
Yah know it's not against the rules to write smut on /mlp/?

>>30331361
It's against the rules to announce reports.

>>30321423

>"Pretty sure my brother likes stallions. And I don't care, shoot I don't think anyone in my family cares, it's just I'm sick of tiptoeing around it, yknow? 'What's that Mac, you want to put on a dress and hang out with Apple Bloom all day? But you still like mares? Whatever'."

Just cause he wants to act like a mare doesn't mean he wants to fuck stallions, AJ. There are mares who fuck mares, y'know.

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>>30331899
Pink Lemon and vodka

>>30321489
>dimensia

>>30331899
Whiskey

>>30331899
Scotch whiskey and beer.

I want to see Rainbow Dash drunk

>>30331899
It's half past 1pm here, and I'm having beer and kvas here.

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>>30331216
where do you think you are?

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bump for drunken feels

Buump

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>>30331216

>>30329819
>>30330068
>not the one who started it
>turns sexual all of a sudden

Never change

>>30331216

Uh.....you're fucked in the head. Sad.

b
u
m
p

>>30331216
They're both drunk. Who's the rapist?
Checkmate, libtard

>>30339018
It's how Vikings relate to everything, man. Fuck it, steal it, or burn it.

>>30331216
Well, I'm sure Anon will forgive AJ eventually.

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That feel when a shitpost about your story gets more (You)s than the story.

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>>30342915
>I was just pretending to be retarded

>>30342933
You did a convincing job.

>>30331216
Did you forget what board you are on?

Lurk moar newfag

>>30342915
People are much more likely to post about something they hate than something they like.

>>30334389

Who is the artist?

>>30341433
bump

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>>30342915
If it makes you feel better I liked it, even though i'm more of a rarara kind of guy.

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bumping for more drunk stories

>>30332706
Heh, you're thee /ck/ anon

Soylent Green is made from ponies.

How to attract writefags...

>>30350110
>still lurking
>no good ideas yet though

>>30346728
I did a oneshot for a "Would you take advantage of a drunk pone?" prompt a while back. It's only a 3 post thing but at least it's something right?

https://pastebin.com/x7JtAzjU

It's in there about halfway down.

>>30351071
Sure is.

I like the mutual drinking however

>>30351071
Well, at least he didn't hold her hoof.

>>30351880
But Anon, you know you want to

Ura!