Twilight Sparkle has been murdered

>>30259935
>Where do you begin?
Depends, is the body still warm?

>>30259935
>image
>thumbnail
Hiding your shitty thread

That's where

Who would so such a thing without first forcing her to continuously give birth and kill her foals in extremely degenerate ways?

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>>30259961

why so salty, anon?
did you masturbate yourself raw again?
we warned you about that---didn't we?

>>30259935
all I'm going to do is cut off her horn, glue it onto my forehead then use the magic to fuse my body with Twilight, then I will use her memories to remember the killer, then I will wait till dawn as the sun would crawl down to the earth as make a rusty shiv out of broken pieces of metal and I go to killer and slit his or her throat because she killed me who is Twilight.

>>30259935
Pretty standard investigation stuff.
Figure out when/where she died, and how. Who last saw her alive, where her enemies were at that time, etc etc.

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>>30259935
don't worry, i've got my best man on the case

>>30259935
>murdered
She is clearly just exhausted from all the marecock she had inside of her

>>30260669
That's not how this works. She's the one with the all consuming marecock.

>>30260678
Oh yeah, then where is it in that there picture?

>2 bullets in the back of the head
>bruises around her neck
>fell from 10 story building
"This was clearly a suicide"

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>>30259935
Scout the crime scene, to swipe some evidence without the knowledge of authorities and to look for a witness. This is a high profile case that might not be able to be solved by conventional means, but as of now the identity of the killer is top priority. Whoever had the gall to murder the Princess of Friendship must be brought to court, where justice will be served.

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>>30259935

Obviously you have to gather everyone together in the same room until someone snaps and does the 'evil voice'.

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>>30260698
Agreed.

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>>30259970

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>>30260649

>>30260691
Checkmate, atheists.

>>30259935
Begin by searching for trips; those are always the most likely suspects.

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>>30261666

>>30259935
Privately examine the corpse after fucking it like there's no tomorrow

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>>30261666
Oh you've done it now. Where have you been the last twenty-four hours?

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>>30261666
>trips
>Satan
CASE FUCKING CLOSED

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>>30261666
>One FUCKING job

I would start by examining the corpse
>Looks at Twilight
You're not fooling anyone,ya know. You're not even bleeding, not even a sign of blunt for trauma.
>Silence
Oh...a Heart Attack then...should should of "hayed" off those greasy burgers. I heard they're "death".

>Celestia uses Starswirl's spell to send you back to right before she was killed,
>Stabbed to death by the knives in her own kitchen.
>You are going to hide out in the shadows for the right moment, and then spring the surprise right at the time she was murdered to get the guy.
>Perfect plan.
>Hiding in the pantry, middle of the night.
>Can see shadows sneaking about the kitchen.
>Jump out and shout.
"Hah! I have you now!"
>Accidentally startle Twilight.
>She springs straight up like a cat, knocking a pan from the hangers.
>The pan hits the counter top just right and strikes the knife holder, and catapults the cutlery wight into her body.

>>30262320
>shrug
>fuck her corpse while it's still warm

>>30262359
>leaving dna evidence

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>>30261666
lead investigator is a suspect. here we go boys

>>30262407
Better than NCIS episodes I'll say.

>>30259935
Celestia, herself, is the culprit.

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> finally get to pony land
> my perfect adorable waifu is dead when I get there
> where do i begin
Cry like am absolute bitch until I pass out, start beating information out of ponies until either someone confesses or they are all dead, torture her murderer to death when I find them, then kill myself.
I'd pray that i can find her in the afterlife.

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>>30261666

Joseph Stalin murdered Lenin so he killed twilight for communism and shit

>>30262320
Neat

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>>30261666
cuff him boys

>>30263133
checked

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>>30260649
>>30261521

>>30261666
It's off to jail

>>30261513
Kidnapping a mare and slowly breaking her by forcing her to continuously give birth and kill her foals in extremely degenerate ways is one of life's greatest pleasures, just because of the silent tears she drops from her expressionless face after awhile, and the muffled cries of pleasure and pain as you force another foal into her

>>30261666
Was getting caught part of your plan?

>>30260649
>>30261521
>>30265266
>Doubt
Your best man? You expect me to believe that? You better give me something before I GET HALF THE LAPD DOWN HERE TO TEAR THIS PLACE APART.

>>30266687
Lector I thought you killed yourself

>>30259935
Fuck the princess