>"Anon, open your eyes now"

>>30184312
Um why

Open you eyes, look to the mare and see~
She is so lonely, she wants the human D
Because she likes to suck, loves to blow, be on top, lay below
Doesn't really matter because it is just sex to me~
To me~

>>30184312
Blink

Im interested.
Strange Waifu General had a weeping angel green, I think.

>>30184312
She makes me ROCK HARD

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>>30184882

>>30187353
Wink

Anon is no longer allowed to encourage his peers to have a staring contest with SCP-1054

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>>30184312
o shit
ur ded

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>>30187371
>SCP
You bloody what

>>30184312
>>30187353
that's actually pretty cute
10/10 would let it feed off of my temporal energy

>>30187353
*blink*
That is one hot statue

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>"Don't blink. Blink and you're hugged. They are soft. Softer than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck."

>>30187627
>you can only cuddle with them when your eyes are closed

>Day whatever in Equestria.
>Be Anon, because that's who you always are.
>Be three sheets to the wind, celebrating anniversary of coming to magic horse land, or whatever.
>Fuck it, you're drunk.
>You've been celebrating at Canterlot Palace, since you're more or less good friends with the Princesses.
>One of the few advantages of being the only one of your kind.
>Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day stands tiptoe on the misty mountaintops.
>Which is a really fancy way of saying you've been out partying all night, and you would like to get back to your room and catch some sleep before the sun comes up.
>So you decide to take a shortcut through the castle's statuary garden.
>Yeah, the one they told you never to go into at night.
>Well, it's almost morning anyhow, so you figure it doesn't count.
>As you stumble through the dimly moonlit garden paths, you notice that your shoe is untied.
>Well, that could be dangerous.
>Wouldn't want to trip and mess up your face now.
>So you lean against a statue to fix it.
>A pegasus pony wearing a gown, standing on her hind legs, and covering her eyes with her hooves.
>Guess the sculptor wanted to commemorate Hide & Go Seek or something.
>Just as you get a grip on your laces, the statue seems to shift behind you, and you tumble gracelessly onto your butt.
>Somehow you finish tying your shoe before wondering how you would up on the ground with the morning dew soaking into your butt.
>You look up at the statue, which seems to be looking down at you now.
>Did that statue move?
>Drunkenly, you state at it for a bit, and when the statue does not move again within twenty seconds, you declare it a mirage.
>You use it as a support to pull yourself back up onto your feet.
"Much obliged, ma'am."
>You would tip your hat, but you're not wearing one, so you make a funny gesture kind of like a salute.
>And turn to stumble home.
>At the gate, you turn to look at the statue again.
>The plinth is empty.

>>30188131

"Okay, I'm too drunk to be out any more."
"Thankfully, I think that's my place right across the street."
>Fortunately, you are correct on this rare occasion.
>The street is deserted, but you nevertheless describe a weaving, circuitous path from the garden gate to your front door, and let yourself in.
>Shutting the door behind you, you kick your shoes off in the darkness and declare, to no one...
"I made it! I'm home!"
>Congratulations, you fucking lush.
>Those royal sisters sure know how to throw one hell of a party.
>Bumping into the wall kind of sucks, but you're too drunk and tired to bother with lighting a candle.
>So you make your way through the dark to your room, pausing only once to curse out an errant piece of furniture which managed to get in your way.
>BED!
>You tumble onto the soft surface and crawl just far enough to align your head with your pillow, and drop.
>Fuck undressing.
>Consciousness flees in blissful relief.
>And you dream.
>You dream of an ethereally beautiful pegasus pony who shyly approaches you.
>After a complicated dance involving cautious approach and gentle coaching, she at last embraces you.
>You're not really into ponies that way, but it seems she just wants a cuddle.
>You gently wrap your arms around the dream pony, and she nestles herself into you, sighing contentedly.
>She cuddles you like somepony who needs cuddling.
>Like somepony who has been longing to be cuddled.
>Like somepony who hasn't been cuddled for centuries.
>Consciousness returns warily to your head as the first creeping rays of the sun invade your bedroom.
>You blearily open your eyes to find yourself in bed with a statue.
>The cold, stone pony fits against you comfortably, as though the sculptor chiseled her out specifically to hug you while you hugged her back.
>But she's stone.
>How?
"I must still be drunk."
>You close your eyes, and immediately the dream of the warm, soft, affectionate pegasus returns.
>She gives you a gentle squeeze.

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>>30188131

The idea of these things was creepy, but all they do is zap you back in time a few decades? That wouldn't be half bad desu

>>30188430
>get zapped back to the 1970s
>try to stay alive 40 years to relive MLP's glory days
>be 70 year old horsefucker

>>30184867
I liked it

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>>30188486

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>>30188486
its more likely than you think
http://www.inkfreenews.com/2017/05/22/milford-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-pony/

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>"Anon, you can open your eyes and remember forever

>>30184312
>>30188254
>>30189467
I love you

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>"Really?"

>>30184867
nice....i get it ....the song reference...is nice...

>>30187471
im right there with you! as a huge fan of both ponies and the doctor this is the best

>tfw the weeping angel green was never finished
Why live

>>30189609

Which one? There were a few.

>>30189529
What song?

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>ITT: people with a sexual fetish for statues

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>>30190044
>statues
quantum locked alien beings which feed on potential time energy, actually

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>>30184312
"No, you first"

>Your fucking stone waifu like every Saturday.
>Accendently open eyes mid thrust.

What do you think happens next?

Here's a NSFW fic: https://pastebin.com/0SJrf9fE

>>30190407
>mid thrust
You crush your dick against the hard unforgiving rough stone
>post thrust
Your dick is stuck inside until you close your eyes.

>>30188430
They can also just snap your neck if they're feeling particularly unfriendly

>>30190427
its called a clop fic newfriend

>>30189639
bohemian rhapsody

>>30190544
and then they order pizza using your voice

>Be Anon A. Aardvark.
>Have been with stone waifu for over a year now.
>Managed to get entire town to like her, used to doing things blind around her, and have gotten use to other quirks of weeping angel pony.
>Then one day she falls into a patch of poison joke.
>Now instead of turning to stone when looked at and moving when unseen, the reverse happens.
>You now have to watch her constantly so she can do anything.
>At least walking around towns easier now.

I remember a while back when we were having one of these threads a drawfag drew a shy lewd statue. People were throwing a shitfit because he got banned & the picture was taken down, even though the 'vagina' was just a single line. Anyone have that image saved?

>>30190884
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27770418/#27770418

>>30190889
Ayy, thanks man!

>>30190891
barely a line, difference between NSFW ban and SFW lewd

>>30190889
That shit got someone banned?
>D...do I call mods?
What has this board come to?

>>30187371
>Dr. Bright

I like you

>Ponyville no one give a shit about mysterious statues keep follow anon the human

>>30104193

>>30190163
Vale Decem!

>>30188916
>Go through Vietnam
>Kill many gooks
>Come back to watch America slowly crumble
>In your twilight years, you see the glorious fireworks of the end in the form of a mountain of pony pussy

>>30188254
Very nice.

>>30188254
What are you waiting for, don't just stop there!

Stone pone waifu can only move when no one is looking. With one single exception.
Anon is wearing his normal green mask, and for whatever reason, it allows the Angel to move about because his eyes are "covered." This leads to him being the only being she can be herself around.

>>30184312
I'd rather not

>>30190751
I like it.

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>>30184312
Ok.

Whew

>>30188254
more

>>30188254
Comfy
Writefag please continue

>>30188254
This makes me all warm and happy

>>30184312
Can we have more comfy writefags please?

>>30192613
I would love so.e green about this. I'd writte some, but my phone is shit