RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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>>30182205
Man, I would give the teenaged CMC the ride of their lives.

>>30182205
>Sexually aggressive teenage mares
You have piqued my interest.

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>>30182205
>>30182217
>>30182220
Oh yes

>>30182205
> "Hey Anon, wanna come by our clubhouse? We got classic rock and hard cider~"

>>30182243
>"And roofi--"
>"SHUTUP, SWEETIE BELLE!"

>>30182243
"How hard?"
>Apple Bloom grins and shoots a look over to Scoots
>"Pretty dang hard Anon. Though I can think of something harder."
>You think you see her lick her lips

from previous thread.

It was the music that got me.
That and thinking of Tirek cowering behind Glimmer and Sombra when Anon says "It's time to harvest!"

>Anon goes a little crazy in his pursuit of magic
>He digs as many graves as he can without attracting notice
>A helm of unicorn horns
>Vambraces and greaves of pegasus wing bones
>Earth pony bones for the rest of his armor
>Throwing flasks of distilled poison joke
>At the end of a two part episode, Gravelord Incognito is banished to Tartarus for containment
>Twilight writes a friendship report about how a stallion's vanity and whimsy drive them to seek power they cannot control
>Also, it is very important not to be distracted by the wiles of stallion, especially if they are powerful and dangerously handsome
>Meanwhile, Anon can't believe they let him keep his bone armor in magic underground prison
>And there are so many intriguing ingredients, that is, inmates ripe for the picking.

>Anon isn't actually imprisoned in Tartarus. He just has too much fun hunting the various magical creatures Equestria throws in there and crafts magical artifacts out of them.

>He wandered in there on his own seeking more materials
>Then they locked the door behind him and told Cerby not to let him out
>Ends up chatting with Tirek, and tries to figure out if he can eat magic like he does.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iu-WAHBbW8

>New villains captured in cells.
>Cries of despair and agony can be heard.
>Using once powerful beings, like beasts of burden and transport.
>Used them to transport the new "Materials and Donations"
>Being helped by various groups of succubi to categorize, harvest and create.
>Being in hell means not dying.
>This gives the opportunity to explode everything to its maximum splendor.
>Anon becomes boss of Tartarus.
>Hell has a new administration, and under his reign, tartarus becomes truly hell.

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>>30182343
>you will never become an all powerful wizard that traded everything that made him human to become something more, something immortal

Anon in Tartarus when?

>>30182365
>Anon goes to Tartarus
>befriends a reverse trap unicorn and her gang of crossdresser villainesses

>>30182401
anon why

>>30182401
Why the heck not

>>30182365
All the QueenPings of Tartarus want anon for his precious salt flowered sweet a literal salt mine in profits walking around

>>30182343
So Anon becomes literal pony satan.
>Tempting honest mares with his otherworldly beauty to leave their families and/or herds.
Some say that He has the stamina to last several minutes, His hands are able to scratch even the worst itch and those who feel His embrace never wish to be let go.
>Controlling the beasts that Harmony has no control over.
More like he just puts them in cages and chops off bits whenever he needs them but it does instill a very primal loyalty through fear and pain.
>Corrupting those with ambition with his (Perceived) promises of power.
An earth pony in a family of accomplished mages would certainly feel temptation to learn from him the secrets of magic without a horn.
>Ruling over and seeing to the eternal suffering of those sent to his domain.
Again he just accidentally becomes satan by making sure his reagents and ingredients don't run away.
Something Something RGRE

>>30182485
> Mares are the strong ones who dominate good society
> Anon is RGR as fuck though, and reverses the gender roles in Tartarus.

>>30182537
>Stallionism is seen as something literally from the devil

How about this...

> Every ten years, one of the princesses has to go to Tartarus and do a review of all of its prisoners.
> In theory it's to determine if any of them are worthy of 'parole'.
> However it's just a formality as they are all too evil and degenerate to ever earn such a prviledge.
> Enter current year, and Luna gets chosen for the job since she hasn't been around for a long time, Twilight is too new to really handle it, and Cadence is a mom at the moment.
> Luna agrees and goes in, cataloging all the prisoners.

> Everything is going perfectly, all the offenders on the list are in Tartarus.
> All accounted for.
> That is until she comes across a strange creature known as Anon.
> He isn't on the list anywhere.
> Stranger, he claims he woke up in Tartarus a year ago, and pleads and begs the princess to let him out.

> Luna is at first suspicious; he could be a shapeshifter who she counted earlier trying to get out.
> But when she determines that's not the case, then she finds herself anxious; bringing someone out of Tartarus has never been done before.
> It would cause a stir in the kindom and bring her fellow princesses suspicions on her.
> Something she would be loathe to have after her Nightmare Moon phase.

> Despite her worries though, the humans is not evil.
> From the way he speaks to the way he dreams; he is strange, eccentric, and more than a bit marely.
> But not evil.
> So breaking with tradition, she takes him back with her to Canterlot.
> And thus begins a wild chain of events.

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>Anon in eqg
>He's in a band with caramel and big Mac
>Signs up for battle of the bands
>Is the under dog band because (guys can't be rock stars)
>Sets out to prove everyone wrong
I'm to incompetent to make green, will a writefriend please get on this?

>>30182786
Honestly, this would be pretty hard to write. Mainly because music cannot be expressed well via text.
The songs played by the band must be expressed via youtube videos.
But the videos will in turn be a distraction from the rest of the descriptive text.

Anon finally gives in and learns to cook.
He actually finds it pretty fun.
He gets jealous when his marefriend eats at fast food places.

>>30182684
When does he go back to harvest and breed materials

>>30182852
I feel what that Anon feels.
I love to cook and would find it pretty insulting if someone living with me always ate shit like fast food.

>>30182867
Why won't you eat all the eggs, Twilight?

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>>30182801
>05:14:03
Isn't a challenge good for writers?
>I'm seriously asking I can't write for shit, (also samefagging here)

>>30182942
See, the first thing you have posted is what we call a prompt. A rather brief and uninspiring one at that. "Not taken seriously because sexism" doesn't really work as a music thing, because musicians of the fairer sex often have an advantage in public appeal, which is what the battle of the bands is about.

Begging for someone to write it is just poor etiquette. Look at the OP, click on the prompt archive, and look at the legion of prompts that have not been written for.
If you really want to interest people in your idea, elaborate on it, and maybe one of the details will inspire something.
And if it doesn't catch on, let it go.

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>>30182786
sorry, i misread what you typed and thought it was
>Anon in egg
>He's in a band with Caramel and Big Mac
what a weird ass story to read if it was...

>>30183744
sounds like something durnk would write

>>30182401
No, anon. We have to go deeper.

>reverse trap unicorn is an actual human trap in a fursuit
>crossdressing villainesses? More like gender fluid batpony futas in leather
>something something RGRE
>Anon learns to love bottoming, felching, and ntr

>>30183794
>>30183744
Easter was like a month ago though.

>>30183831
>Anon somehow finds himself in Tartarus.
>The leading theory on how it happened is he accidentally got sucked down his toilet by flushing it while sitting on it while half asleep.
>Given what he has learned about magic, it's more plausible than the 'hit by a car' or 'that horrible tasting soda was actually bleach' hypotheses.
>Fucking portals man.
>Like five ponies he knows here arrived through weird portal fuckery.
>Now surrounded by a bunch of devils and stuff, Anon is starting to open up.
>Those incubi and succubi really know how to party.
>Anon goes too far with his deviancy, even for Tartarus.
>He holds a pony's hooves.
>He is kicked out of Tartarus into Equestria.

>>30182205
That's a weird model to use.

>anon in RGRE
>obsessed with dubstep/EDM/etc.
>starts a deadmau5escue band
>Gets VERY popular
>Starts living a double life
>A group forms to find out who h0rsf4ker
Really is
>Tries his hardest to cover his trail
>but alas, it is only a matter of time
>Tired and out of options, anon uses his final trump card.
[Spoiler]>rape[/spoiler]

>>30183883
>unbidden by heaven and unwelcome in hell, Anon is forced to wander the wastes as a hungry ghost
>hungry... for hoovesies
>while none speak it aloud, all little colts and fillies know that to leave even a single hoof uncovered by blankets while sleeping is to invite a fate at least as bad as death, and certainly far lewder
>the braver children, or more foolish, even go so far as to dare each other to stand in front of a dark mirror in a dark room on a dark and moonless night and call to the Boogienon by name and by cantrip, the rhyme as alien as the terror it summons:

This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy had roast beef,
And this little piggy had none.
And this little piggy said wee, wee, wee, wee all the way home.

>but no pone ever has said whose home that little piggy was going to, nor why
>and no pone has ever thought to ask:
>why was he screaming as he went?

>>30184274
Because with the final part, he rips off their horsedong and they bleed to dead.

>>30184330
Careful with those trimmers, hedgelord

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>>30184359
better?

>>30184330
I was going more for molestation, but sure. Whatever floats your boat.

>>30182416
It's not a real prison story unless things get a little queer at some point desu.

>>30184330
not rgre enough

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>>30182684
>>30182485
>>30182343

>Anon the necromancer, now outside of the tartarus thanks to Luna.
>He did not died or became a lich, or some shit like that.
>He is just the regular good ol' Anon.
>He start to make take his life back in shape.
>Gets his house back.
>Book hoers and Moondancer start to plan a herd for him.
>Maybe mellow him more for him to become a good colt.
>Andmaybebuiltaherdwithhimfullofmareslikethembutanyways!.
>When he begins to narrate them about what he has done, he talks about his BEST FRIEND in hell.
>He tells of his times playing and being friends.
>With a smile, he tells them of his desire for her to do well, wherever she is.

>Meanwhile in hell.
>With the protection of the night and with the blessing of Cerberus.
>A figure comes out of the shadows and the abyss.
>With calm step, it is directed towards the nearest holy ground.
>Using his magic, invokes a thick fog, covering his work.
>A second spell is cast.
>With this, the earth beneath your feet begins to break.
>She has an official mission.
>Bring hell's king and administrator back.
>But inside of her there is only one mission.
>Reclaim your best friend.
>No...
>Retrieve your stallion.
>Maybesomedaywhenyouinvitehimtogouotwithyou,maybegrabsomecoffeeandhoofholdingifheisinthatkindofthings,nothatyouaregoingtoforcehimtodoitoranythingheisjustoopure.
>LEAVEMYHUSBANDALONE.

>>30182786
>>30182786
>They see the Dazzlings transform into weird giant sea ponies.
>Do Master Exploder's vocal solo.
>AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>Focus it on the yellow one.
>The lead sea pony explodes into gory chunks and comes out a naked Adagio from it's carcass.
>The other sea ponies transforms back and promptly removes their necklaces.
>The Giant Laserhorse barfs hot plasma and melts the equipment and parts of the stage.
>Pinkie looks aroused. "HOLY FUCK" says Fluttershy.

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>>30184812
oh yes

id find myself a necromancer waifu

>>30182801
The emotions and movements of music aren't as hard to put just put into words as you might think.
Given, it leaves a lot open to the readers interpretation, but that's kind of the whole point of reading.

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>>30184851
>you will never march endless waves of the undead upon the living alongside your necromancer waifu

>>30180328
To the anon that suggested the story of men being rare and used as bargaining chips, thanks for that. It's definitely not a story I would have even thought of seeking out, but I enjoyed the read.

>>30182860
I was thinking it wasn't gonna be part of that. It wa a separate idea when Anon got teleported Tartarus, not equestria.

>Necromancer goes full and summonds more that she can handle in the middle of Canterlot.
>She fucked up badly, now that they are outsite the tartarus, now they'll die.
>But Anon has an ace up his sleeve.
>Using all the magic that it's left on his magic wang, activates the magic of music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nBw_c4R6a4
>Dancing his way back to hell with a brand new spooky scary skeleton army.
>Dancing corpses of Earth ponies, unicorns, pegasus, griffin, minotaur and other death being are in the mix.
>After the whole ordeal.
>Equestria feels strangely more safe.

>Jaks are scared and wait from the end of time.
>The old god of death is back.
>And we will judge all the living.
>The end is neigh.

>>30185091
>>Necromancer goes full and summonds more that she can handle in the middle of Canterlot
This entire sentence was a bit of a clusterfuck.

>>30182205
What about a sexually aggressive teenage Cadence?

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>a darker, more serious prompt and story idea comes out for once
>everyone tries to subvert it into a ridiculous joke story

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>>30185180
Wait. It was serious?

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>>30185180
>serious

>>30185372
>>30185440
this is why we cant have nice things

getting tired of all the incompetent retard anon greens tbhfam

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>>30185473
There is a wide fucking gap between retard full green Anon and Reaper-tier lord of hell edge.

>>30182684
So wait. There is no edgy necromancy shit, just random anon trapped in Tartarus?

>>30185473
Don't confuse competence with seriousness.

It's entirely possible to have a no nonsense anon who knows what he's doing and have the story be almost all comedy. He would instead be the straight man reacting to the incompetence of others or ridiculous situations. Perhaps he even thinks he's in a more serious story than he actually is and that's the big overarching joke.

Another thing. It's feasible to have serious moments in a funny story and funny moments in a serious story. I'd argue a bit of silliness here and there works best even in more mature mlp fics because at the end of the day it is MLP and this is Equestria. Hell, if you know what you're doing you can make the same thing be both funny and serious. Like the necromancer pone in.
>>30184812

Haha look at this crazy yandere and her whacky plans- oh FUCK. She's trying something drastic now, and it's working.

>>30185091
https://youtu.be/q6-ZGAGcJrk
Kek

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>"Anon are you drinking apple cider?"
>"Of all days you could have chosen you choosed today to drink?"

>"What are you an infidel? Where is your keffiyeh I gave you with so much love?

>>30185180
Oh well, I'm just gonna give up. I still have NOF's story to look forwards to, after all.

>>30185610
>Reaper-tier lord of hell
all i wanted was a wizard alchemist with questionable morals and powerful magics anon

thats it

>>30185772
REMOVE HORSE-KEBAB

>>30185773
>NOF's story to look forwards to
He's ded my dude

>>30185882
He just updated last week tho.

>>30185936
Hold up what

>>30185944
Yep. And there's the story: https://pastebin.com/4wGMsAch

>>30185944
Yeah senpai, haven't you been paying attention? You know about his new story right?

>>30182205
>You will never have teach a class of rowdy Pegasi and Griffons.
>You will never be picked on by the class for having no wings.
>You will never beat the shit out of them and teach them valuable life lessons.
>You will never help them find a path to follow on their own.
>You will never fight tooth and nail to save one of the worst offenders from being kicked out from the school.
>You will never see them grow and mature.
>You will never be visited by one of them after they graduate for tips.
>You will never hear news and hearsay about your former students.
>You will never be interrupted during class by the captain of the wonderbolts.
>You will never remember that she used to be one of your students and those tips and tricks you taught her eventually helped her be captain.
>You will never be proposed to by her.
>You will never have the smallest and clumsiest filly.
>You will never be called by the school because your daughter got her cutie mark and was sent to the detention.
>You will never hear your cute clumsy daughter be called and ace.
>You will never explain to your Wife and Daughter the significance of the Blue Infinity shaped Ribbon cutie mark.
>You will never try and name your next child as Cipher or the Demon Lord of the Round.

>>30185180
There's nothing indicating it being serious. It's just Anon gaining power with no serious opposition. From a storytelling perspective the prompt isn't fleshed out enough in the right areas to make for an entertaining unironic, serious story.

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>>30185970
>>30185977
Oh shit nigga dreams do come true. When is the next update? Nof pls

>>30186040
Potentially sometime next week.

I like Equestrian mare's genital fashion.
https://derpibooru.org/1448269

>>30186079

you like it until someone would try to put a ring on ur dong

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>>30186173
Well yeah. No one is forcing them to dress up their vaginas.

>Anon arrives in
Tartarus
>Loves it -- it's Hell to ponies and Equestria, but by Earth standards it's one giant, endless rave-party.
>Like Mardigras/Spring Break.
>Anon is discovered by Celestia.
>Determines he's innocent and shouldn't be in Hell.
>Despite his vehement objections and attempts of eluding her, the "disturbed colt" is taken back to Canterlot for rehabilitation.
>The Princesses (needlessly) feel guilty and responsible for "damning an innocent".
>An uncooperative Anon keeps trying to escape his jailers and return.
>The Great Escape II: Horseland Escape.
>Also more shenanigans as Cadence grows interested in him personally.
>Syrup-maned hoers.

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>>30186656
Only if 'that one hot succubus' that was hanging around with him a lot in Tartarus breaks out to come find him.

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>>30185982
>ywn have a loving family with your qt pegasus waifu
>ywn be called "my little birdhouse" by your loving wife as she snuggles into you as she rests in your arms as you both drift off to sleep
>ywn be jarred out of your near sleep by a wail ringing through the house, the sound of a door slamming, the running of hooves, another slammed door, and then being tackled by your now shivering child after a bad nightmare where "you went home and said you didn't need us to come with you"

>>30186656
>pony hell is an out of control party by earth standards
>Anon is able to keep pace with the rowdiest of demons there at the least
>despite being a party by earth standards pony hell is still hell
>because of this it has all the common features of the after life
>firstimmortalityandthenthehorsesuccubi.parchment
>it's a party that never ends with a host that never dies
>now Anon can give it a human's touch
>Russian roulette without the consequences of death
>beer bongs where wine and beer flow like water

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>>30187259
i feel nothing as i am already dead inside

>>30186718
>Celestia and Luna freak out hard when the wards on Tartarus register a powerful entity escaping
>It's the worst possible one, too
>The last time she escaped, Equestria nearly reverted into its "three tribes" state
>Worst of all, she's heading straight for Canterlot
>Celestia and Luna, trying to put on a brave face for the rest of the kingdom, are definitely not trembling in fear at the return of…
"Dessie! I missed you, hon!"
>Celestia yelps
>Desdemona, the queen of deception, is in the throne room
>She's crying and clutching at dear deluded Anonymous like there's no tomorrow
>"Anon, I was so scared I'd never see you again when those horrible princesses took you away!"
"It's okay, Dessie. It's gonna be alright. I'm here, now, and nobody's gonna take me away from you again. Come on, honey…"
>Mistakes may have been made

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>>30187597
hhhnggg

>>30182205
>Sexually aggressive teenage mares

Any greens for this?

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>tfw ponies think Anon is just being tsundere when he's pissed off at them
>just like their neighponese comics

>>30187753
>>30185171
There was a story with this in the very beginning, but then she turned into the egg donor for Venus.

>>30188120
I couldn't do that to Twiggles.

Hell, it would be hard to reject most poners.

Except for Glimshit.

>>30188178
You'd turn her into a villain again.

>>30187259
>"Papa please don't leave!"
>"W- we'll be good we promise, we won't ever leave feathers lying in the bath again!"
>Shaking the sleep from your eyes you rise to address the fillies currently attempting to clamp you.
"Wha- girls what's wrong?"
>Your wife leans over from your side to see what the commotion is all about.
>Bluebelle speaks up first, raving incoherently as her eyes grow damp with tears.
>"I had a dream that you left us and went home and wouldn't take us because we're not hoomans and that you'd never come back and that we'd be all alone and-"
>Her lightning fast sputtering is cut off by uncontrolled sobs.
>Blossom being the younger follows her sister's example quickly.
>You and your wife share a confused look before giving a weak, knowing smile to one another.
"Girls, please stop crying, c'mon."
>Holding the two small filly pegasai close and rocking them gently whispering assurances with the help of your wife eventually causes their sobs to turn to weak sniffles.
>Stroking their heads softly you speak in a calm voice.
"Let me tell you a small story."
>Still hugging you close the fillies ears perk up towards your face.
"Once, there was timid goat, who lived all alone."
"Every day he would get up, shower and go to work. He didn't enjoy his job very much at all. His boss was mean and his job was hard."
>You wife looks over to you concerned.
"When he eventually got home from work every day, he would fall onto his bed hungry, but without the energy or will to make dinner."
"He would sometimes spend the day reading, some days he cried and some days he did nothing at all and just stared at the ceiling."
"He wasn't good at making friends with other goats, so he was lonely."
>Both your fillies stare up at you now, on the verge on even greater sobs. Your wife looks on slack-jawed from your side.
>You merely continue your story, looking on stoically.
"But one day he woke up to go to work and found he wasn't in his apartment anymore."

>>30188279
"He was in a strange new land, filled with sheep."
>A weak smile slips onto your face.
"The sheep were nice to him. Much nicer than the goats."
"They helped him out, got him a place to live and even got him a job as a high-school teacher."
>"Ju- just like you are!"
>Bluebelle perks up from below you.
"Exactly, just like me..."
"After a long time the goat had made tons of friends... eventually he even met a lady sheep who he had taught all those years ago."
"She was the most beautiful sheep the goat had ever seen, her thick fur shone in the sunlight and her loving demeanour stole his heart."
>You wife blushes and tilts her head to the side, smiling wistfully.
"After many years they had a family together. Two kids."
>You smile down at your fillies.
"The goat was happier than he thought possible. He had everything he could have ever dream of a thousand times over."
"Then one day his kids were concerned he would leave them and asked him: 'Did you like your home?'."
"The goat took a moment to think before answering: 'Yup'."
"His children looked concerned but he just followed up with: 'In fact, I'd go as far to say I love this place'."
>As realisation washes over your daughters, they hug your tightly, pressing their muzzles against your chest as they give a relived giggle.

>Entering your room after putting your daughters back to bed you find your wife holding the blanket open for you with a contented smile hugging her lips.
>As you lie down she pulls you aggressively into a deep smooch.
>Her face is just a soft and beautiful as your wedding day; scuffled hair flows down from her scalp, hugging her fur in a tired embrace. The sweet perfumery aroma that clings to her constantly drifts into your nose. Daffodils, just like her.
>Pulling away she speaks softly.
>"I wonder how that goat is doing these days..."
>Giving a wide smile you pull her into a tight embrace, lay your head down and close your eyes.
"Why don't you ask him?"

>>30188288
>Your eyes open to the harsh light piercing through the many gaps and holes in the old curtain.
>An acrid stench of cigarette smoke permeates all your furniture and assaults your nose.
>Looking down, you notice the old, worn out pillow you clutch closely to your chest.
>Raising your head you spot a solitary chair standing in the middle of the room, accompanied only by a swinging noose.
"Well. Today's the big day."

>>30185772
i ain't no dune coon.

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>>30188178
>it would be hard to reject most pones

You'd quickly end up the town bicycle if you don't learn how.

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>>30188279
>>30188288
My fucking heart

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>>30188313
t-thanks for pulling me back to reality anon

>>30188120
"I don't fuck quadrupeds, I eat them."
Literally.

>>30188178
yeah but Glimmy got da booty.

Swiggity swooty.

>>30188784
10/10 would inflate dat booty. In an RGRE manner ofcourse.

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What if ponies have a /mlh/ thread where they talk about males being the dominant sex?

>>30189408
>>30178870

>>30184306
This happened pretty quickly? I assume mods are actually paying attention now.

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>>30189408
*authentic reactions, none of the portrayed mares are actors*

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>>30189408
>>30189468
I would love nothing more than to pick Lyra up and cuddle her.

>>30188316
>town bicycle

More like the town cyclist

>>30189566
Those dubs.

Also, yeah. What's better? A lock that can be opened by an key or a key that can open any lock?

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>>30189468
>Lyra's a tripfag

>>30189580
Depends on who you are. A thief or a lock salesman?

>>30189408
I want to see the green that would be written there.

> Oblivious Eponymous walks down the street, wonders why all the men have spilled vanilla yogurt on their pants
> Ends up living with Albert Einstein as he takes a break from developing an atomic bomb to study Eponymous' magic
> Eponymous cooperates as much as she can, unaware of how unprofessional Albert's "scientific" probing is becoming

Or

> Eponymous visits Mr. Rogers
> They take off their shoes together, and Eponymous gets to wear two spare sets of his loafers
> He puts on his cardigan right in front of her, aware of her rising excitement, but not showing any sign of it except for a paternal twinkle in his eye
> Eponymous stretches out on the couch, forelegs brazenly stretched across his lap as he tells her a story of the land of make-believe
> Mr. McFeely drops by with a package and some subtle hints that he wouldn't mind delivering a package for her
> The parcel for Mr. Rogers turns out to be a video of how cows are milked on a dairy farm
> Mr. Rogers then demonstrates for the viewers how to milk a horse, using Eponymous

Etc.

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>>30189636
I dunno, I think it fits.

>>30189638
Yes

>>30189681
> When pinkie tries to hamfist Lyra into her fics and Bonbon flags the fic

considering how magic always has a "trail" or residue from being cast

how would ponies react to illusions and sleight of hand?

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>>30181755

>>WE HAVE TO GO FORWARD

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>>30184202
>>anon uses his final TRUMP card.
KEK

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>>30190324
oh boy is it time for pony mouth pieces i love those

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>>30188775
Eat the mares (out) first.
Fuck after.
That is best in life.

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>>30189408
>using paheal r34 instead of rule34.xxx

>Anon is a sapient ball of grey-goo that emulates human form.
>We Star Trek Changeling rip-off.
>Can't replicate, but can create new goo just enough to maintain self.
>One day, on Cadence's suggestion, he decides to emulate a pony's form as an experiment.
>Cadence can't understand why she's getting a mare-boner.

>>30190399
> But Khan Nonymous, How about the wind in your mane?
> Bed your Waifus, See them driven (in bed) before you and Hear the first cries of your children. That is Best in life.

DD2 when?
JAGOG when?

>>30190340
Not gonna lie, I jerked off to this.

>>30190807
Frosty is kill
BNW is working on DD2

>>30190948
But how?

>>30191045
I don't know.
She just looked so smug.
And the font was so attractive.
When I realized it, my hand was already moving.

>>30187597
>"C-can I torment some of the noble peons, Anon? All their smugness is hurting my tummy."
"Dessie, you know you're not allowed to. If you do that every time you come up for a visit, they'll never get over what you did that last time."
>Desdemona pouts, crossing her forelimbs over her chest
>"It was just a little prank. Honestly, couldn't they handle a joke?"
"You almost returned their society to its darkest hours, hun."
>"A little civil war never hurt anypony. Not on Equestria, at least."
>Anonymous boops the most fearsome demon pony in Tartarus on the snout
>The resulting scrunch is so terrifying, a few citizens collapse outright
"Come on, no more of that. Let's go back to the house they gave me when they snatched me, I found something I'm sure you'll love."
>Desdemona is on her hooves in an instant, interest clearly visible on her face for an instant before she shoots a glare at the ponies around her
>"Fine, but I reserve the right to torment any of these mares who thinks she can snatch you away from me again. You're mine and I'm not letting them have you."
>Anon chuckles good-naturedly as Desdemona narrows her eyes, giving the quickly retreating crowd the universal sign for 'I'm watching you'
>Luna froze up fifteen minutes ago and Celestia passed out where she was standing
>Even way out in the Crystal Empire, Cadence can already feel the urge to yell at her aunties for being stupid
>Twilight is still trying to figure out who keeps shitposting so effectively in all her /mlh/ threads

>>30191132
Why doesn't Anon just return to Tartarus?

>>30191160
Might as well use the home for a bit while they've got it. Besides, he has to introduce her to the internet and shitposting Twilight's threads to death. There's time to get back to the party later.

>>30191160
Magic Taco Machine.
An appology gift from the princesses.

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Crystal Prep girls planning on how to seduce TILF Anon bump.

Slow day today huh?

>>30192421
3 day holiday in burgerland. I figure a number of people are off enjoying the day.

>>30192421
>tfw it's officially hiatus right now

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>Anon is a Quarian
>Not literally, but when compared with ponies, Anon is a Quarian
>While he may be able to best ponies in feats of strength (pegasus and unicorn) and even speed or persistence of endurance (earth and unicorn), there is one thing that all ponies and even all creatures of Equestria trump him on:
>Immune system and genetic health
>The worst ailments the creatures on Equestria suffer are minor colds
>Meanwhile, a human breaking the skin deeply enough can cause life-threatening infections, not to mention all of the more serious maladies that can arise simply by being exposed to the elements
>Humans can even get cancer, an illness that fractions their life span, simply by spending too much time in the sun or having improper diets
>Anon makes pone friends aware of this
>Not a great idea
>The mares in his life (who already feel protective of him because he's a 'him') feel even more responsible for his well-being now that they know of his vulnerabilities
>To make things worse, Anon himself has some reason to fear
>Knowing that ponies can still get sick and still lack genetic disorders, it stands to reason that their lack of serious disease doesn't stem from a lack of dangerous bacteria, viruses or other pathogens on equestria, but they they, specifically, are strong to them
>The lack of necessity also means that ponies are inexperienced or straight up unable to treat issues caused by serious illnesses, even if they might be common among humans
>Anon washes his hands ten+ times a day
>He quickly tends to even minor wounds with alcohol solutions that are uncommon to ponies, anything to make sure that non-earth bacteria and the like don't riddle his earth-adapted body too severely; he still gets sick with minor colds and the like fairly often
>When asked how he copes, Anon simply says that he does what he think he should and takes the best precautions in a way and to consistancy that doesn't utterly consume his life
>After that is just hoping

>>30192703
>Hoping that he never gets too seriously sick
>Hoping that, like many humans, he doesn't just wake up with cancer one day
>The mares who know him unapologetic ally and insistently treat him like he's made of glass
>Their touches are tender, they hand him things carefully, they never try to get him to do anything physical unless he brings it up first
>This treatment eventually becomes universal to Anon's chagrin, even if he understands the reason why
>Anonymous becomes the town's unofficial soft-spoken alien paragon, accepting his life as it is even with all the added trouble and constant perceived risk
>Protect his smile intensifies
>Pure,unsullied virgin husbando intensifies
Bonus edge/complexity round:
>Miraculously, Anonymous is actually able to have children with the native creatures, and his children tend to inherit similar positive qualities
>Added tolerance for and benefit from protein-rich food sources like meats, increased endurance during physical exertion, etc
>Unfortunately, his offspring ALSO tend to be affected by the so-called 'Human Immune Deficiency', weakening them to the illness and sickness, even if not to the same degree and their father/ancestor

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>>30192703
>>30192713
I think we have enough autism here without dragging in an entirely different fandom into it.

>>30182205
friendly reminder that sweetie belle is canonically starting to show interest in colts now

>>30189468
You will never what? Now my curiosity is piqued

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>>30192713
This is a pretty cute idea. I like it.

>>30193221
>tfw a qt mare will never take care of you when you suddenly get sick.

>>30192713
could be interesting only seen a few stories where they dealt with the different worlds having different illnesses

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>>30193244
>tfw you're basically the 'ugly girl' in equestria
>tfw a qt mare literally will never take care of you
>their faces when you try to talk to them

>>30193649
You can fuck right the fuck off with that bullshit

>>30193649
>Anon cant tell what ponies find attractive or not
>He sees them all as cute and cuter
>Eventually he ends up with a herd of ugly/unattractive mares and Fluttershy
>He thinks they are all adorable as fuck
>His herd is the tightest most loving herd in Ponyville and perhaps even equestria
>All because their stallion sees the beauty in them that no one else does and loves fluttershy for her personality and shyness

>>30193990
I'm pretty sure I can deal with looks, however, I can't deal with bad smells. Have a co-worker and she has no concept of good hygiene, can smell her from 1-2 feet away and can't stand it.

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>try to make the most of the role reversal by acting slutty and being a cunt tease
>weren't raised as a colt by Equestrian standards so it's just a game to you
>get lectured for half an hour by boss, older mare, or sometimes even your friends about modesty (and not being a slut for those that don't beat around the bush)

Reeeeeeeeeeeee!

>>30194141
>"Anon, a proper young colt like yourself doesn't need to be out there, showboating around."
>"Boy, you barely KNOW that girl and you're scratchin behind her ears like it's the thing to do."

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>>30192431
Never have I laughed so hard at my country being called "Burgerland".

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>"Twilight, humans are very affectionate creatures. Rubbing, petting, scratching each other and cuddling are what we do around casual friends. I wont even get started on all of the steaming hot casual sex that men are desperate to hand out. I know this means I am in danger of being taken advantage of by naughty mares while in Equestria. So I counting on you and the girls to keep me safe. Alright?"

>>30194264
Hey, I'm an Amerifat too and it's Memorial Day Weekend. Burgers are a staple for this weekend as many are out enjoying grilling and such with friends/family. That or a quick trip to In-n-out/Whataburger/etc.

>>30194266
>"It's a good thing you're such trustworthy friends that I can really t- Oops, dropped a bit...why don't I just lean down to get that so you can see down my shirt."

>>30192947
Agreed.
Pony-superiority BS is annoying at best.

>>30194307
I wasn't disputing the name, it just gave me a chuckle.

>>30194266
>>30194315
>Anon flirts with ponies shamelessly but plays it innocent as fuck when it they jump for the bait
>Is a giant cunt tease for all of ponyville
>Half the mares are plotting to jump him
>The other half think they have a chance and are trying to protect him
>Anon just waiting for the mare ballsy enough to call his bluff so he can absolutely wreck her and deny it vehemently if anyone asked him about it

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>>30193990
Fluttershy is a literal model.

>>30194599
She also doesnt care about looks and is extremely coltish. The exact kind of mare who would be completely ok with joining a herd where its apparent that the colt doesn't just care about looks or wealth.

>>30194482
>He's out to lunch with some stallion co-workers
>"We heard you made Derpy see straight, Anon."
>'I beg you pardon, sirs, but a gentleman does NOT kiss and tell.'
>That one co-worker he's hella cool with asks later
>"..You smashed though, right?"
>'Oh like there was no tomorrow, dude.'

>>30194617
>doesnt care about looks
anon...

>is extremely coltish
i will give you this

>>30191160
Better weather.

>>30194619
>"We heard you made Derpy see straight, Anon."
unf

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>>30194599
A fashion model.
All she needed to be was graceful and slim.

>>30195306
It looks like the alien from 'Signs'.

>>30195306
What the fuck is that?

>>30195389
grace jones going out for chinese

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>>30195389
How the average stallion sees Fluttershy and Rarity.

Or was it confusing how the two hottest mares are desperately single?

>>30190264
I read the book; good stuff, good stuff. This kinda shit gets put into the green, yanno?

Like. I'm inspired n' shit. Anymore you know of?

We will eventually go forward.

>>30195389
Fashion.

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NOF isn't kill. right guys?

>>30195457
I would act like a slut just for these two

>>30195457
They're desperately single because stupidly high standards and deathly shy.

>>30195622
You mean like wanting a colt who can actually cook and clean and take care of the homeand their future children?

>>30195537
Oh shit
Is BNW cooking up a fresh pot of >green?

>>30195675
But I can't cook.

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>>30195747
you better learn

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>>30195747
Learn
And I mean learn.
Not try once and say you can't because you burnt it a little.
Unless your life is an Anime, and you are the piece of shit character that can burn water through some miracle, you will be able to fix up something nice after a few weeks of learning,
Besides, cooking is fun.
It's like alchemy, but tasty.

>>30195972
this.

You don't get good overnight when it comes to cooking. However building a foundation is important. Start simple, learn to make grilled chicken breast, it can go with many sides or get chopped and mixed with salads, alfredo, take your pick.

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>>30195972
>Turning up some groovy ass music
>vibe hard as fuck while you pull out the dishes and prep the food.
>Listening to the sweet, sweet sizzle of cooking meat.
>Filling the entire kitchen with the smell of godly food.
>feeling proud as fuck and when you pull the food out and set up your plate.
>Feeling even prouder when someone eats your cooking and loves it too.
>Putting good vibes and love into some Delicious ass food.

Cooking is fun as fuck once you get to know what you're doing. And this is nothing that a simple google search can't fix.

>>30195972
Either that or just shack up with Sweetie Belle. You'd be among kindred spirits then
>>30196005
If I wasn't so sick right now I would be salivating

>>30196005
This Anon gets it.

I can make all my own sauces, pretty handy if I were to one day wake up in Equestria.

>>30196052
I can make my own noodles from scratch.
Have a mill for the flour and everything.

>>30195622
Blueblood was a douchenozzle, and Trenderhoof had an earth pony fetish.
Plus our favorite weebhorse seemed pretty direct talking with Iron Will and the Flim Flam brothers.

>>30196079
Exception does not make the rule. Especially when due to writers throwing everything out about a character to force a cube into a round hole.

delicious food bump.

>>30196005
One idea for two (or three) different types of Anon:
>Anon is a good cook
>[Insert character here] constantly gets leftovers/taste tests of his cooking, tells him any mare would kill to get his food regularly like they do
>Anon then decides to open a food stand, which isn't met with "colts shouldn't work" because it's cooking
>Makes pre-packed lunches for the 9-5 mares, and/or is open for lunch
>Lodsofemone
>Every so often a mare asks for 'a lunch and a date'

>Oblivious Anon would start ordering dates to add to lunches after having to tell numerous mares he doesn't have any in stock
>Catty Anon would already have dates and would tease them before giving them one
>Author's choice of anon does thing, because they're the ones writing it, not me
I always have ideas like this and want to write, but I haven't watched the show in forever, so I doubt I could reliably write characters.

>>30196335
Could be pretty comfy. Like maybe highlight two or three mares per day getting their packed lunch and the light chitchat between the mares and anon.
Convincing a mare to try a food she dislikes, hearing them bitch about a deadline, seeing one getting excited over a herd being interested in her.

>>30196335
Oblivious Anon is best Anon

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>>30196104
>exception
Ever since the Iron Will episode Flutterstutter was much more confident in talking to other ponies, and instead of being an animal loving NEET was only scared of being in the spotlight.

>Had no fear of Noteworthy despite him being a stranger
>Giving Mac the puppy dog eyes to convince him to let her sing
S1 can barely introduce herself Flutters is gone.

>>30196401
It gets old fast though, especially when writers pass 'oblivious' and turn into 'mentally retarded.'

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>>30196005
>Chef Anon in RGRE
>He's the stereotypical career chef, has a no nonsense and tough guy persona
>Tries to show that comparing his skills to that of a domestic parent is an insult
>Ponies keep complimenting him by saying he'd be a great house husband

>>30196408
>all the mares blush
>"Oh no, you girls all have fevers!"
Goddamn I can't stand that shit.

>>30196408
Maybe thats why so many here lke it, hits close to home.

>>30196429
ouch

>>30196429
kek
You got me you cheeky little fuck.

>>30196440
I feel bad for posting it, but at the same time lolz

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>>30196335
>>30196401
>Oblivious Anon green #245542
No. Get some taste.

>>30196429
Kek.

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>>30196335
>>30196005
Groovy anon here.
>You are Princess Twilight Sparkle.
>And you are making your way to the castle's kitchen for some much needed dinner.
>You had spent the entire day studying magic, and had gotten so involved with your books that you had forgotten to eat lunch.
>The crisp clip-clop of your hooves echoed through out the crystal halls, and the hungry pit in your stomach grew ever larger.
>You couldn't stop thinking about a sweet daisy sandwich or maybe even a greasy hay burger.
>As you make way a strange scent fills the hall several meters before the kitchen.
>You knew that Anon stayed up pretty late, but he mostly kept to himself.
>Hunting, a little bit of farming, and the like.
>But that scent..
>It was heavenly.
>Various spices and another strange smell tickled your nose.
>You could sort out the bell peppers from the onions, and the onions from the garlic, and the garlic from the-
>Wait, was that music?
>You were just a foot from the door now..
>You picked up a hoof and pushed it open.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbsBEb1ZxWA
>The music came blaring out of Anon's phone.
>He had a rag slung over his shoulder.
>And a small chefs hat on.
>Where did he even get that thing?
>You shake your head and gaze at the beautiful chaos before you.
>You spot the source of the strange smell and scrunch your nose at the block of raw meat.
>It didn't bother you...
>Much.
>You look back at Anon flipping some greens in a giant curved pan.
>His feet wouldn't stop moving and every time he grabbed a new spice he would splash the pan with it.
>He moved from the pan to the magical grill and grabbed a pair of tongs.
>You saw him do a little spin while he flipped the tongs in his hands.
>He then picked up one of the biggest pieces of cooked meat you've ever seen.
>It was seared to perfection, dripping juices, and smelled amazing despite being meat.

>>30196559
>Lone Digger
I think you meant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpxLaTsylBU

>>30196559
>>30196585
>Caravan Palace
Filthy casuals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSGk1bQ9rcU

>>30196559
>Anon had a manic grin that you swore went cheek to cheek and you watched in awe as he pulled the meat to his face and gingerly kissed his master piece.
>He went to a cabinet and pulled a dinner plate out.
>He set the chunk of meat on the plate and went back to his pan of greens.
>He gave it another generous flip and pulled some of the food out with his tongs.
>All the while bumping and bouncing to the tune of his music.
>He gave it the old fashion tasted test, and grinned wide when he saw it satisfactory.
>You were absolutely stunned.
>You knew that it was often talked about that it was a colts place to cook.
>You also knew that the vast majority of colts hated cooking.
>But Anon..
>He looked like he absolutely loved life right now.
>He was bouncing and bobbing and that glint in his eyes held a burning passion for his craft.
>Pulling the pan from the stove, he brought it to the same plate that held his meat.
>He poured the contents of the pan onto the plate, completing his meal.
>Scooting the plate away from him, he twirled in place, and pulled the rag from his shoulder, flourishing it.
>He quickly wiped down the island in the center of the kitchen and stored the rag back on his shoulder.
>He went to the fridge and pulled some of Applejacks hard cider.
>Pulling a knife and fork from the drawers, he dung into his meal.
>Only then did he notice you.
"Oh, hi Twiggles!"
>He forked the corner of his steak, cut it and brought it to his mouth.
>He moaned quietly in pleasure as he ate.
"So. Fucking. GOOD"
>He dropped his utensils and brought himself halfway across the counter.
"I am THE God of Cook."
>He quickly picked up his fork and jabbed at the greens on his plate.
>He practically shoved it in your face.
"Eat, young one. Take part in my grace."
>You leaned forward and bit down on the fork, taking the food with you.
>An- holy horseapples.
>Flavor exploded in your mouth, and you could feel your gut twist in delight.
>You wanted more.
>You needed more.

>>30196716
Feed her that meat anon

>>30196716
MOAR, KILL US WITH STOMACH LOVE!
>>30196738
ALL THE MEAT, AHAHAHAHAHA!

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>>30196716
>You looked up at Anon and was about to asked if you could have more.
>Or you would have, if he hadn't cut you off.
>With another fork of food to the face.
>Once again you chomped down on the delicious morsel.
>Only this time you let yourself savor the tasted.
>As you chewed you felt Anon scratching your mane.
"Yes, little one."
>He fed you another forkfull.
"Eat"
>And another.
"Eat and grow strong like Papa Anon."
>And yet another.
>His horrible griffon accent would have normally been off putting if he wasn't feeding you right about now.
>But he was, and you loved every second of it.
>Before you knew it, all his food was gone.
>Well, save for his meat of course.
>But you knew that was for him.
>"Thanks for the meal, Anon!"
>You licked your lips
>"That was some of the best food I've had in a while."
>He grinned once again and bowed deeply.
"Don't thank me, twibright."
>He looked back up and spoke firmly.
"It was my privilege."
>He grabbed his plate and took off to his room.
>You swear to Celestia that you were going to marry that colt if it was the last thing you did.
-
Did a cook thing. Grab napkins, your trusty forks, and dig right on in, Anons!

>>30196458
Hey, since it's occasionally used, I thought I'd throw it in.
I just wanted use the subversion of them actually being given a date.

>>30196827
Nice.

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>>30196559
>>30196716
>>30196827
May the Gods of food and cookery smile upon you anon, for that was great

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>>30196827
Beautiful

>>30196827
Going on 1AM and my dumbass is about to cook a steak

>>30197205
good luck.

>>30197205
God speed, anon.

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>"I SHOWED YOU A PICTURE OF MY CLIT"
>"ANSWER ME".

>>30197298
>no

>>30197228
>>30197281
guys my house is burning down

>>30197310
The fuck did you do?

>>30197298
>"Clit? I thought you had a crack in the dungeon wall, judging by all the filth."

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>>30197310
>Oh no my house is burning down
>Hold on, I need to post about it on 4chan

>>30197310
The fuck did you do? Wrap the steak in foil and put it in your microwave?

>>30196716
>>Pulling a knife and fork from the drawers, he dung into his meal.
>he dung into his meal.
hhhhehehehe
gross

>>30197298
>"Your clit? I couldn't fucking see it behind your bulbous teats. Get a reduction, fatass."

>>30197407
fuck me, i didn't even notice that.

>>30191019
>Frosty is kill
No. I didn't say she gets to die. Someone call that necro pone.

>>30197818
>she

>>30197875
allegedly

>>30197875
Frosty was the only writefag I would be hard pressed to say was not a grill

>>30198095
What if I told you all the writers are the same person. He lives in his basement and only writes on /mlp/.

>>30198117
No, shut up.
That's not true.
Don't listen to this Anon, he's obviously lying!

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>>30198137
Search within the pone! You know it to be true!

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>humor Twilight with a date
>or two
>totally not because you were too beta to say no, haha
>she thinks you're her coltfriend now
>you know this because she loves to announce that you're an item whenever possible
>gets incredibly clingy and "protective" around anything with a vagina, even married mares and those brats hunting for ass stamps
>now you have to work up the courage to set this literal royal pain in the ass straight

>>30198231
By accepting her love of course

>>30198231
>Clingy Twiggles
>Not enjoying the fuck out of this

It's like I don't even know who you are, Anon.

Though the overprotectiveness could get annoying in a hurry I'll grant you. But a few friendship and relationship lessons (Trusting your friends, Trusting your beloved) should help with that.

>>30198231
Clingy Twilight doing everything she can to scare mares away and protect you when?

You don't even need to be dating.

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>>30198249
>You don't even need to be dating.

Wouldn't that be white knighting and cock blocking?

>Anon is at a bar drinking
>Two unicorns come over to chat him up
>He starts to feel suddenly sleepy before he passes out
>The mares give each other the look and try to carry him out
>The problem is magic doesn't work on him
>Next they try to physically move him
>Turns out unicorns are not the most physically endowed race of ponies
>They even manage to convince a couple of other mares to help them "get him home"
>Still doesn't work
>The two mares give up and leave in disgust
>The bartender shakes her head and adds the tenth chalk mark to the board behind the bar

>>30198520
hahahahaha

>>30198520
>Fluttershy is the only one to do it, with help from mister bear of course.

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>>30198520

>>30197310
RIP in peace

>>30197298
>Luna finally receives a reply
>it's a picture of you
>smirking with your tongue peaking out while doing a peace sign
>and groping her sister's plot
>with a thin trail of saliva connecting your lips and her winking marehood

>>30198601
Celestia was doing the same thing to Anon and got a picture like that but with Luna instead. Anon has actually been giving oral to Chrysalis to fuck with the two.

>>30198802
This has potential for much shenanigans. Sow the seeds of Chaos, Anon.

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>>30182205
Haven't been here in a while.

Is the Google Doc doing good?
I thought I should give a look around and see if there's anything you need, since I'm technically it's manager.

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we need more /comfy/ in here

>>30199810
I should be getting there. Hopefully in 50K words or less.

>>30199500
Yeah, more or less. New writefags set up easy enough. Existing ones edit stuff easily enough.

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>>30199823
Thanks anon. You;re doing God's work.

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>>30198802
HAH

Would read.

>>30199823
>Hopefully in 50K words or less
I'm okay with more than 50K words.

>>30200309
this

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"What do you mean, the world is round? That makes no sense, Anon."
"If Equestria was round, how would Nightmare Moon have created eternal night? Everypony would just move to the side with the sunlight."
"Have you been listening to those Round Equestria Society weirdos again? What was her name, Lyro or something?"
"No, Anon! Don't listen to those weirdos. If you ever have a scientific question, ask a qualified mare like myself."
"Now, to answer your question, Equestria is flat. If it were round, how would Nightmare Moon have hoped to cause eternal night? Everypony would just move to the sunny side!"

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>>30200943
by eclipsing the sun

>>30200943
>twiggles not understanding that physics in other dimensions work differently
>twiggles not wanting to know how gravity works
>twiggles being a unscientific sperg

wat

>>30200964
This tbqh

>>30200979
Silly Anon, Twi's scientific curiosity is only as deep as the writefag needs it to be so she can be a meme antagonist.

>>30200943
Uh there have been miniature globes on the show as recently as s7.
Not knowing that your own planet is round is pretty damn stupid tbhfamalam

>>30188313
D-delet this...

>"That's Anon over there"
>"Just buy him something to drink and he will let you do whatever you want to him"
>Really? Just like that?
>"Yeah, he once gave it to some unicorn mare despite his weariness around horns. All she gave him was a glass of wine and suddenly he was 'too drunk to contain himself"
>"also, my friend also told me he fucked her for a ride home from a concert"
>oh my gosh, what a slut... I only have 2 bits on me though
>"Hah, that's more than enough"

>>30201635
> weariness around horns
> weariness

An Anon who is weary of horns is tired of horns, there are too many horns in his opinion. An Anon who is wary of horns doesn't trust horns because they are poky and dangerous.

Thank you for your time.

>>30201697
>Autism tickled
>>30201635
Good job, brah
you did it

>>30201709
I have dream, that one day, my autism will dominate the spelling practices of the English-typing world.

But yeah, given that there are very few noticably unattractive mares on the show, sluttiness would be all too easy to fall into.
The question is, after gaining such a reputation, what happens when you find a mare you want to waifu?

>>30201803
You do the Caveman thing. Grab her and run.

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>>30201803
All the nice successful mares you supposedly rejected but never talked to are smug in the fact that all the Trixies used you as a cum pump and left you because even they don't want to put a ring on a slut. That's what you get for riding the pussy carousel.

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>>30201803
Speak for yourself, I'd find one perfect mare and make her mine.

>>30201875
Ya know what, Moonie? If you put as much effort into actually cleaning up and trying to look and act decent instead of bitching about your nonexistant sex life on G10K you might actually be able to attract a man

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>>30201948
>tfw Celly loves sluts because after living such a long life she values partners with experience rivaling her's

>>30202080
lol no

>>30202092
lol yes

>>30202112
lmao no

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>>30202080
>>30202092
>the reason she hasn't settled down with anyone yet is because she has really high purity standards like the mythological creature she's based on

>Kissless virgin? That's just the bare minimum. If you even flirted with a girl at any point in your life you're too impure for her.

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>>30202122

>>30202133
>>Kissless virgin? That's just the bare minimum. If you even flirted with a girl at any point in your life you're too impure for her.
NOWS MY CHANCE

>>30202080
>liking virgins or not experienced partners at all
Only virgins do that, Celly is not the one.

>>30202175
what

>>30195972
Cooking is flavor-alchemy.

>>30192041
I need this. I need this so badly

>>30198520
Need green of this.

>>30198802
One of the best prompt ideas I've seen in a while.
Green when?

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>>30201329

>>30202461
>Chapter 2
well thanks for spoiling what he didn't do in the first one.

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>>30200979
If it is a dimensional thing then Twiggles is right, Equestria is flat and Anon is a conspiracy nut for believing otherwise.

>>30201259
>All the globes have the exact same landmasses
>Equestria is flat
>The other side is Tartarus

>start going outside without a shirt
>since everyone is nude anyway you figured it wouldn't hurt
>it helps that you won't be refused service without shirts or shoes
>and that it let's you stave off the inevitable laundry day too
>there's just one thing
>people...ponies stare
>more than they usually do
>as it turns out stallions don't have nipples
>so yours stick out like a sore thumb
>but at least most of them are pretending that it doesn't distract, or at least trying to
>unbeknownst to you, the mares of Ponyville heatedly debate behind closed doors:
>is wanting to do lewd things to your nipples gay?
>what if you just enjoy the sight of them but don't touch them?
>and similar questions

>>30202963
I can just see mares freaking out thinking Anon is a futa instead of a male...

>>30202891
>Tumblr
I know that it's thread related but you can still fuck off

>>30202891
>reddit filename
>tumblr screencap
shoo

>>30203021
They would have to be pretty ignorant of other animals to assume that from just nipples alone. Where it would weird them out is that they specifically aren't a species with them so there should be no instinct or reason for mares in particular to see them as an attractive feature. And what that attraction could imply also may trouble a few.

>>30203156
Imgur filename actually

>>30203179
I'm sure you'd know, huh

>>30203229
well apparently so considering he said it and downloaded the image
^:)

>Anon's mannerisms, attitudes, personality, and behaviour remind X Princess of somepony she used to know.
>Becomes convinced that Anon is the reincarnation of her old love.

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>>30203444
Nice gets, also good prompt

>>30203444
I'd be so up to see this prompt fleshed out.

>>30182205
>>30201952

>>30203444
Or worse
> Celestia has lived so long and known so many ponies (both biblically and not) that many times she is reminded of old friends
> She tries not to, but sometimes she uses the name of a long dead friend instead of the name of whoever she is talking to

>>30204071
To sad senpai

>>30204071
"... And then the Polack says, "What do you think I've been doing? Shoving them up my ass?"
>"O-oh my! That's almost as funny as the story about my first husband!"
"Huh?"
>"Right after his funeral, I was still in mourning. I could hardly bare to raise the sun over a world without him. Then you snuck past the guards to my mourning chamber, and told me about the time the two of you were in college, and..."
"... Celestia? Are you okay?"
>"I-I-I'm fine, Starsw- Er, Anonymous. I simply must retire to my chambers, as I feel terribly exhausted all of a sudden."
"Uh... Sleep tight, Celestia."
>"Yes, yes, sleep tight...

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>>30203166
>They would have to be pretty ignorant of other animals to assume that from just nipples alone.

You'd have to be pretty ignorant of the likelihood that we're talking about a whole different universe, let alone the same planetary species development.

Seeing as how NO male of any species in the entire show has yet to conclusively have nipples, it's possible (not just possible, but moderately probable as well) that most if not all species on Equus are like ponies, with the males lacking nipples.

I stated no absolutes in my assumption. You are stating absolutes (as proven by this sentence of yours: "They would have to be pretty ignorant of other animals to assume that from just nipples alone").

Your logic is at best on level with that of an infant. "I see something that kinda maybe sorta could support my biased viewpoint on the matter, and so it must be true!"

My logic is clearly stated in the format of "What if this might be the case? I think that'd be interesting."

Please fuck of back to your first grade classes, you wouldn't want to miss the short bus.

> Chubby Anon in RGRE
> Mares are polite, but uninterested
> Stallions try to give him dieting and exercise tips, but he really can't cut out hay products, since he doesn't eat hay
> Some shallow stallions hang around him to look good by comparison
> An attractive mare starts flirting with him at the bar
> He can't believe it
> She insists that she didn't lose a bet or anything
> Wary but lonely, he follows her to her home
> After a few glasses of wine and the mare getting rather intimate with her hooves, he gives up and goes with the flow
> Before long, she has mounted herself on him, grinning at the wonder in his eyes
> "I like 'em big, Anon. I like them soft. And most of all, "
> She nips at his ear
> "I love making sad stallions happy."

>>30204347
I like

>>30204205
Sooner or later you will have to make assumptions about fantasy settings based on reality. Hell, whether they even have genitals at all is also an assumption if you want to play that game. I'm kind of impressed, but mostly embarrassed for you, that you spent half the character limit harping on someone stating something obvious like they pissed in your cereal. Is it because we haven't been meeting the autism quota this thread or something?

>>30204347
>anon, the one being made happy
>not anon making mares happy

[conflicted reeeeing in the distance]

>>30204347
>Chubby Anon in RGRE
>"Thicc!"
>"THICC!"
>"Thicc thicc thicc!"

>>30204449
>Every time a mare shouts "Thicc!" at Anon, he gains 10 pounds
>This isn't just a gag, it's actually a serious problem
>Emotions are magic, and Anon has no magical defenses
>He's just lucky he reached Twilight's before his shirt buttons popped
>And heaven forbid if some mare had asked him to go down on her
>Twilight decides to keep him indoors for the time being for safe keeping
>And to find a mare with a fitness fetish to shout "Thin!" at him