Flutterrape Thread: Badly-Drawn Edition

>>30166793
That's not even yoga she's just spreading her asscheeks.

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>"Yeah baby, work that grill!"

>>30166844
But it was proved he never abandoned us.

>>30166808
No doubt that's the idea, then it will get into some serious yoga that requires a partner.

>>30166880
He hasn't abandoned us and never will.

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>>30166793

>>30166743
You gotta stop reusing thread pics.

It's annoying enough that the Flurry Heart thread does it for only two.

Is SciTwi green gonna happen? Maybe...

>>30167697
We got a pool of at least 10 regular pics. A new one pops up occasionally.

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>>30167697
Looking forward to SciTwi green.

>>30167736
Honestly eqg flutterrape wouldn't bother me because we have so little of it.

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>>30167759
That reminds me, what ever happened to the lad that was writing this? https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zaBSZiUnPUYAtlGeZUMuKjGMOZ_39eLG9e7ModTYrk0/edit
There was also part three and four, but I forgot to bookmark it.

>>30167795
I don't know, maybe he didn't get enough (You)s to want to stick around but I hope he comes back someday.

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>>30166844
Yeeeah, work that grill baby

>>30167795

Hey look, I found his Pastebin:

https://pastebin.com/u/FiftyShadesofYellow

>>30167942
Sorry anon but he's talking about a guy who wrote a sequel to fiftys story not fifty himself.

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>>30167795
Humanshy is such a slut.

I compiled, spell-checked, and uploaded the Flutterrape LTD saga to pastebin.

https://pastebin.com/EuQt7FT1

Though I enjoyed writing it so much it may not be the last you all see of it.

>>30168733
Fantastic!

>>30168733
I hadn't realized just how much you had written on that already damn.

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>>30166743

>>30169873
Man I love this picture it's perfect.

Ponynet when?

>>30169144
Yeah, its a fun concept to write.

>>30170402
Glad you like it, been years since I drew it.

Thread's been dead today, hasn't it?

>>30171286
I think people are busy freaking out over no more early episodes.

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I work weekend evenings, so unless I pry myself out of bed early, I'm not a terribly productive writer on weekends.

I'm a sound guy at a theater, in case you were wondering what line of work keeps such gawd-awful hours.

>Fluttershy will never force you to suckle her teats

>>30171607
You say that but you knowshe would.

>>30171380
Pretty neat, make sure you get good rest though

flutters using a sound system to broadcast her masturbation to anon when?

>>30171380
That doesn't sound like a bad gig honestly.

>Enjoying your Cheeri-Os in the glow of the morning sun.
>You hear four knocks on the door.
>Four.
>As inconsequential as it may sound it puts you on edge.
>You rise from your table.
>Something is terribly wrong.
>It's not just the fear of whatever fetish guess /she/ has planned for you today.
>You make your way to your front door.
>It's a feeling of complete and utter dread unlike anything you've felt before.
>As if though something is wrong with the universe and the only way to see it is by opening that too-little-sized door.
>You're now in front of said door.
>You could just walk back to your cereal and ignore it, but you know you're going to have to face it anyway.
>With a shaking hand you twist the door knob, and then yank it open.
>"Hi, Anon!"
>It's Twilight.
>It's just Twilight. You sigh,
"Hey, what's up?"
>"Are breaks in continuity your fetish?"
>As she says this the world before you twists and contorts, revealing a dark emptiness laying just under the surface.
>The world is consumed by emptiness.

bump

>>30173590
That's a good bump anon.

>>30173144
Does anyone have the version of this with Derpy?

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>>30174010

>>30174708
>>30173144
These are great.

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>>30172053

Oh boy, that is too good an idea to pass up.

>Day check one two in Equestria.
>Today has been a good day.
>Sorta.
>On the plus side, there have been zero fetish guesses and zero rape attempts from THAT pegasus all day.
>On the minus side, you are certain that means she is planning something.
>Something big.
>She didn't bug you at your job either, so you got a lot of stuff done.
>Equestria is just beginning to discover electronic technology, they're still basically at the vacuum tube stage.
>This was technology you mastered long before coming here, so your skills turn out to be very much in demand.
>Maybe someday you'll help them discover solid state technology, but why complicate your life that way?
>At any rate, you got a lot done today, and your customers were really happy with your work.
>And now it's Miller Time.
>Pssssh. Yeah right.
>Apple Family Cider will have to do.
>You are surprised and pleased to make it home without being ambushed, and after checking for traps, you unlock your door door and attain the safety and comfort of home sweet home.
>Or what passes for it here in magical candy horse land.
>You get yourself a glass and draw a cold, frosty one from the keg in your kitchen.
>You are one of the Apple Family's best customers.
>And just as you sit down to read your mail...
>"Ummm... hello? Check, one two, check one two... is this thing on?"
>A massive squeal of audio feedback rattles your entire house.
>"Okay..."
/What?/
>Setting down the mail, you race upstairs and look out the window.
>There on top of a hill overlooking your comfy home is a structure which somewhat resembles Phil Spector's Wall of Sound, constructed by a total amateur.
"What the actual fuck?"
>Down among the speakers you can see a driver rack about the size of your kitchen, and a mixer console.
>And a metric shit-ton of extension cords.
>And standing by a microphone on a stand, a blot of yellow again the wall of brown and gray, your nemesis, Fluttershy.
>"Hi Anon!"

>>30175116
>>"Hi Anon!"

And then the sound shockwave blew up his house and killed him instantly.

The End

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>>30175116

>Her amplified voice rattles your house and echoes off into the distance.
>The distortion tells you that she is clipping badly, and probably has no idea whatsoever what gain structure is.
>You suspect that she just turned everything up to eleven.
>"I know you love good music Anon, so I'm putting on a special concert, just for you!"
>You didn't even know Fluttershy sang or played an instrument.
"TURN IT DOWN, YA IDIOT!!!"
>She either can't hear you or chooses not to respond as she takes the microphone with her and moves to a bed, surrounded by a forest of microphones.
>You can hear the sheets rustle and the mattress springs squeak as she climbs aboard and gets settled.
"DON'T MAKE ME CALL THE GUARDS AGAIN!!!"
>What the hell instrument do you play on a bed anyhow?
>You can't see what's going on too clearly, but your fears are soon realized as you hear some wet, squishing sounds, followed by a low moan.
>More squishy sounds, accompanied by heavy breathing, and the mattress springs squeak a bit.
>Curiosity gets the better of you and you head downstairs to retrieve your binoculars, as the lewd sounds continue at near-deafening volume.
>Returning to the window and focusing, you glimpse something that immediately makes you lower the binoculars in horror.
>Another loud, urgent moan, heavily clipped, rattles the very foundations of your home.
>She is masturbating on the bed, holding the microphone near her nether as she plays with her sopping wet mare hood.
/Holly jumping Jibbers H Crabst on a motherfucking pogo stick, this time she has gone too far./
>"Oh yes Anon! I am yours, and I always have been! Take me now, lover!"
/Holy shit, all of Ponyville can probably hear this shitshow!/
>You slam your window shut, which utterly fails to blot out the wet sounds which are now intensified and heavily distorted.
>It almost sounds as if she's...
/Dammit./
>Morbid curiosity gets the better of you and you take another peek through the binoculars.

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>>30175186
You're no fun. Keep reading.

>>30175210

>Just as you suspected, she has inserted the microphone inside herself and is moving it around like a fucking dildo.
>This produces a heavily distorted, wet, squishy sound that you hope to Celestia you never hear again.
>You grab the pillows off your bed and attempt to stuff them into your ears.
>It does virtually nothing against the onslaught of sound.
>"Oh yes, yes, YES, I'm getting close! Oh, HOLD ME ANON!"
/Fuck, why me? Why is it always me?/
>"Ohhhhh-AHNNNNN!!!"
>A deafening feminine squeal blows out every fucking window in your house as she (presumably) orgasms.
>It is immediately followed by a rising wail of midrange feedback.
>And then with a fuzzy sound, the noise cuts out altogether.
>You open your eyes to find yourself curled on the floor in a fetal position with your ears ringing, clasping your pillows to your head.
>There are shards of glass everywhere, so you move carefully as you get to your feet and shake your head in an attempt to clear the ringing.
>You look out the window.
>You can't hear anything except the ringing in your head.
>But you can see Fluttershy valiantly attempting to extinguish a large electrical fire with a bucket of water, with predictable results.
>You can also see both the guards and the fire brigade approaching rapidly.
"SERVES YOU RIGHT YOU FUCKING MORON!!!"
>Your voice sounds wrong.
"I'M SENDING YOU THE BILL FOR THE REPAIRS TO MY HOUSE!! AGAIN!!!"
>Dammit, better go and get your ears checked.
------
>A unicorn physician mostly heals your hearing with magic at no charge, because Equestria has had a single-payer system for centuries.
>But you're going to be stuck with tinnitus for the rest of your life.
>She almost laughs when you describe the mechanism of injury.
/Yeah, it's only funny because it happened to me and not you./
>But at least you're not deaf, and you can return to work the next day.
>Your first customer of the day is Vinyl Scratch.

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>>30175310

"Hey Vinyl, what can I do for you?"
>"I rented some equipment to a friend, and let's just say she's not getting her deposit back."
>She puts a badly burned power amplifier on your counter.
>"So can you do anything with this?"
"This one?"
>It's saddening, the chassis has actually melted from the heat and the insulation is completely gone.
"No. It's toast. I'll have a look at all of them though, and let you know which ones are repairable. I have some new ones if you need them."
>"Okay, I appreciate ya. Quick as you can though okay? I got a gig on Saturday."
>Vinyl produces a brown paper bag and hands it to you.
>"Oh, and see what you can do with this, okay?"
"Sure, was this caused by who I think it was?"
>You open the bag and reach in to retrieve the item inside.
>"Yellow? Clueless? Obsessed with a certain alien?"
"Thought so."
>You pull the object out and look at it.
>It's a microphone.
>"Send the bill to Fluttershy, will ya bud?"
"OH GOD IT'S STILL FUCKING MOIST!!!"

End

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>>30175347

>>30175347

Edited and binned, for your later reading pleasure.
https://pastebin.com/uUrVZT84

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>>30175347
>"OH GOD IT'S STILL FUCKING MOIST!!!"
The horror.
Good job though, that was like something straight out of 2013.

>>30175392
That was really good.

>>30175347
I doubt shyhorse will cover that.

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>>30175116
>Phil Spector's Wall of Sound
Ugh, I can tell I was tired when I wrote this, conflating Spector Sound and the Grateful Dead.

That should of course be the Grateful Dead's Wall of Sound, pic related.

>>30179194
Top cute

>>30179458
Seconded

Seems like she got over the whole shy thing.
https://derpibooru.org/1447637

>>30181316
She got dumped by Big Mac, so she's bobbing her hair.

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>>30181586

>>30175449
>>30175683
Thanks. Fluttershy's mess is right in line with some sound equipment messes I've repaired in the past. I think people who rent things should be required to prove at least a minimal amount of competency. And I have also had to clean up microphones that were inserted in place they have no business being. People are fucking weird, man.

>>30181872
Hearing that makes me glad I don't work in customer service.

>>30180724
>A loud, distorted buzzer snaps you out of your daze.
>For a moment you don't do anything but blink dumbly and stare in bewilderment at your computer screen.
>The makings of a story are splashed on the monitor, as well as a small animated gif of a dancing penguin you had a desktop widget.
>Heh.
>Look at him go!
>You chuckle to yourself, only to be jolted back into focus when the buzzer goes off again.
>Raising an eyebrow, you look at your other monitor, which you had crudely shackled to the office internal CCTV network.
>Sure, you only had 2 cameras running, but they were the watching over the most important places in the building.
>The entrance, and the kitchen.
>You'll find out who's been stealing from the fridge soon enough.
>Whatever's lurking in the vents will have to come out eventually.
>But as you squint at the grainy, fuzzy image on-screen, recognition hits you and your eyes widen when you realise who's at the front door.
"Ooooh, shit."
>You rise from your seat slowly to the sound of the buzzer blaring a third time.
"Ooh, Fluttershy is -not- gonna like this."

>Twilight Sparkle regards you warmly as you let her in.
>You run a hand through your hair, tidying it somewhat and trying to straighten out your shirt.
>Before you can do your tie, Twilight reaches out with her magic and fixes it for you.
>Smiling sheepishly, you shut the door behind her.
>"It's great to see you again, Anon."
"Yeah, yeah, you too, Miss Sparkle."
>"Oh come on, call me Twilight, please!"
"Twilight, right, of course, uh, so did you need something or...?"
>"Well I just thought I'd swing by and visit. Been a while since I did."
>You motion towards the stairs up to the office, and she walks alongside you as you make small-talk.
"Well, thanks, how are things over at your place?"

>>30182491
>"Business has been great! We've been making a -ton- of stories lately, brought on a few new writers, organised the catalogues a bit, yeah, things have been going really good! Especially since there's all this new competition these days."
>You nod slowly.
"That's cool, that's cool, glad to hear it, yeah, competitions fierce."
>"How are things here? I don't wanna judge, but the paint on your... uh, everything is peeling."
>She giggles.
>"Painter go on strike or something?"
"Not exactly..."
>You both walk into the office.
>Twilight's smile drops from her face.
>"...Oh."
>The office is as threadbare as it always is.
>A jungle of dusty, abandoned cubicles; the one in the centre of the room with lights and a sense of general cleanliness is obviously yours.
>But it, combined with the lonely light-bulb dangling from a frayed strip of wiring just above your chair are the only sources of light in a darkened room.
>You'd shut the blinds because the sun was causing screen-glare.
>Twilight turns to you with a sad expression.
>As you watch her, her face turns to one of resolve.
>"I was afraid it might be bad, but this is..."
"It's been like this for a while."
>"You know, Anon... The offer's still on the table."
"..."
>"You're more than welcome to write for Anon in Equestria whenever you want, there'll always be a seat open for you."
>She touches your leg gently with a hoof.
>"I'm only thinking about what's best for you, you're never going to go anywhere in a place like this!"
"I know, Twilight, but..."
>You glance towards the office at the back of the room.
>A small yellow face quickly disappears behind some blinds.
"I'm more worried about what would happen to Fluttershy."

>>30182495

"Fluttershy."
>' Aaaaahn~! Oooh yeaaah! '
"Fluttershy."
>You knock on the door to Fluttershy's office a bit louder.
"I know you can hear me, Fluttershy."
>...
>' AAAH! FUCK ME HARDER! '
"For fuck's sake, woman, turn off the porn and come and say hello!"


>You turn to Twilight.
>She smiles weakly at you.
>"She... always did love her porn."
"Yeah, that hasn't changed at all."
>You bang your hand on the door several times, the glass pane rattling from the force.
>The erotic moaning on the other side quickly cuts out.
>After a few seconds, the door opens.
>Fluttershy appears, her mane quickly done up in a messy bun and her coat smelling of emergency perfume.
>"Yes, Anonymous? How can I help?"
>She turns to Twilight.
>"Oh! A guest! I'm afraid I'm a bit tied up at the moment so..."
>You give her a despairing look.
>Twilight doesn't say a word, she just lets her eyes wander over her 'friend', taking it all in.
>The old, worn office attire, oily coat, the smell of sweat.
>Twilight, on the other hand, is wearing a crisp, sharp suit.
>Her mane is shorter than it used to be, but just as well-kept as the rest of the mare.
>She even wears spectacles nowadays, but they only serve to make her appear more authoritative and prestigious.
>Comparing the two, Twilight is the picture of the modern working mare.
>Fluttershy is...
>Fluttershy.
>Said mare abandons the pretences of civility and glowers at you both.
>"What. Come to mock poor old Fluttershy and her failing company?"
>Twilight cringes.
>"I-- we never said that, Flutt--"
>"Whatever. I know you're just here to swan about like you own the place, what, did things get too much to handle at your nice big office building uptown?"
>"...I just wanted to say hi, Fluttershy... I still care about you."
>Fluttershy's eyes bulge.

>>30182502
>"YOU STI--"
>She looks at you, aghast, then back at Twilight.
>You fold your arms and prepare to weather the storm with a grimace.
>"IF YOU -CARED- YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SPLIT THE FUCKING COMPANY!"
>Twilight is visibly upset.
>"IF YOU -CARED- YOU WOULD HAVE WORKED WITH ME TO KEEP THE SCHISM FROM GETTING WIDER! WE COULD HAVE SALVAGED WHAT WE HAD AND MADE IT BETTER THAN BEFORE!"
"Boss, please don't--"
>"I-if you cared about the company, about -me-, then you wouldn't have run off to start your own thing and taken half our fucking team with you!"
>Twilight is silent.
>As are you.
>Fluttershy sniffs and fights back any signs of tears or weakness.
>Finally, your visitor swallows the lump in her throat and speaks up.
>"I... came to-- look, I came to offer you both a... a place with us..."
>Fluttershy doesn't scream in response.
>She just straightens up, and looks Twilight right in the eye.
>"So that's what it is then. You just want to tie up the loose ends. Can't have any remnants of the past lurking around so you've come to just, mop up, any mess and make everything all neat and tidy, is that it?"
>Twilight's eyes narrow.
>"Fluttershy, just... LOOK! At this! Look around you!"
>She gives an exaggerated, sweeping hoof gesture to the office.
>"I-It's not even functional! There's no one here! It's just you and Anon!"
"Actually I think Slasher Science is still living in the vents."
>Twilight stares at you.
"...Emphasis on 'think'."
>"This isn't even a company. What's the end game here-- how have you even survived this long?!"
>You look at Fluttershy, and she at you.
>Then the pair of you shrug.
"Beats me."
>"No idea."
>Twilight looks between you both.
>"So you're just going to stay here and do nothing? Just work away at a failing concept that no one likes anymore? The world has moved on! People want a better product!"
>She draws herself up to her full height.

>>30182504
>"Anon In Equestria has proven to be an industry leader in autistic horsefiction. We intend to keep that ball rolling, and we want-- I want, both of you on board for it."
>Twilight looks pleadingly at Fluttershy.
>"Come on, Fluttershy! I want you with me on this, it'll be like old times!"
>Fluttershy gives her a cool look, her tone laced with acid.
>"Sorry Twilight. The world has moved on. The old times are dead and they're never coming back."
>She shakes her head.
>"If you'll excuse me, I have important, industry-leading work to do, and I can't be wasting time with self-righteous, holier-than-thou whores like you."
>She storms back into her office and slams the door.
>A few moments later you can hear moaning again.
>Both you and Twilight say nothing for a while.
>Finally, you decide to speak.
"...If I left her."
>Twilight looks up.
"...Imagine what it would do to her."
>The mare studies your face.
>A faint, pitiful smile crosses her lips.
>She holds out a hoof and beckons.
>Crouching down, you both share an intimate hug.
>"You're a good man, Anon."
"Thanks, you're a good man too."
>She laughs softly.
>Breaking the hug, she sighs.
>"There's always a place for you. Always."
"I'll keep it in mind, like all the other times you've offered."
>She smiles.
>"Hey, I didn't make it this far by not being persistent."
>You jerk your head at the office door.
"Neither did she."
>With that, Twilight takes her leave.
>You stand in silence for a moment, listening to Fluttershy's porn.
>Sounds like that anal creampie one again.
>She likes that one.
>Reminds her of the good old days.
>But as you look around the office, you sigh.
>It's like she said though.
>The good old days are dead and never coming back.
>You stretch, cracking several joints, before lumbering over to your desk and sitting back down before your monitor.
>Your eyes glance at the dancing penguin again.
>Heh.
>Look at him go...

Uh.
I hope you enjoyed it?

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>>30182505
Nebby, this is one hell of a Feel Trip.

I loved it. You are a good person.
And your waifu is the best.

>>30182505
Fine my nigger, I'll stop lurking and say your one-shots are the fucking best. Someone has to keep the ship afloat, right?

>>30182505
Been lurking there for such a long time, just a few times after Weaver left.
And i always come back.

I'll love the jab at Slasher tough.
Keep the good work guys.

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Loving LTD and Angry Wino

>>30182505
curious about the other "offices"

>>30182713
>"Anon, I need to speak to you."
>Spin around in your chair, coffee in hand.
"What's up, boss."
>Fluttershy looks on-edge.
>She's fidgeting, and keeps glancing at the window.
>"I uh, I need to show you something."
>...
"If it's your time of the year again, you can forget it, I had to bleach my shirt last time."
>"No, you fucking imbecile, I need to show you something more, um, just come with me or you're fired, or something."
>You roll your eyes and stand up, following your boss, coffee still firmly gripped.
>Fluttershy trots into the kitchen and opens one of the cupboards.
>There, and with great effort, she pulls out a large black bin-liner.
>It's stuffed full of something, and zip-tied shut, though you can see small holes covering the bag.
>You eye it nervously.
"What, uh, what have you done...?"
>She hesitates before replying.
>"Okay, so, we've been a little bit stuck for money lately, and since the bank isn't giving us loans anymore I've had to find alternate methods of acquiring funding."
"I'm with you so far."
>"Buuuut a lot of those methods fell through."
"Right, like the porno we made together to raise money."
>She stares at you and goes red.
>"Right. Yes. Make money. Definitely."
>Clearing her throat, she continues.
>"So since I wasn't able to make enough money the 'traditional' way, I had to reach out to some old contacts."
"...And?"
>The bin-liner shuffles slightly.
>"Umm..."
"Fluttershy."
>"...Anon, this might be somewhat 'unorthadox' but I really need you to trust me and keep quiet on this or we'll both lose our jobs. Maybe worse."
>With that, she tears open the bag with her teeth...
>...And a bright yellow pony with bouncy blue hair and a winning smile tumbles out.
>She's gagged, bound, and looks thoroughly dishevelled, though not entirely unsatisfied.
>It takes everything you have not to yell.
>But ultimately, you fail.
>And yell.
"DID YOU SMUGGLE MILKY-WAY INTO THE FUCKING CITY?!"

>>30182836
>"Anon please, calm down!"
"WE-- Oh my god. WE COULD GET HANGED FOR THIS!"
>Milky, on her part, seems awfully content with being bound and gagged.
>Her unusually large, swollen breasts jiggle as she tries to correct her awkward position on the kitchen floor.
>Fluttershy carefully removes the gag from her mouth.
>"S-sorry Milky..."
>The mare smiles at your boss.
>"Oh it's fine, sugar, though I wouldn't complain if we did this bound-and-gagged thing again sometime~"
>Milky looks at you.
>Her eyes linger around your crotch.
>"My my MY, quite the catch here, Fluttershy, did I hear something about a porno...?"
>Fluttershy fumbles with Milky's bindings as she speaks.
>"Um, no, well, yes, Milky, but um, where did you say you needed to be dropped off?"
>Milky rises to her hooves, stretching in an overtly-lewd way, trying to catch your eye.
>"Oooh nowhere, I just needed a place to lay low for a while. My boys will swing by and collect me in a week or so, so don't you worry, sugar."
>You watch all this with pursed lips.
>Fluttershy smiles weakly at you.
"Can I talk to you for a second?"

>Milky inspects the contents of the fridge, pulling out an empty milk bottle and sniffing it.
>You and Fluttershy watch her from a crack in the door.
>Quietly close it and begin hush-screaming at her.
"Are you insane?! Bringing a domestic terrorist into the city?!"
>"She's my friend! And she was offering money!"
"FRIEN-- friend?! You're telling me you're -friends- with the mare that caused unemployment to hit -sixty percent-?! Entire corporate empires collapsed overnight, Fluttershy! She's a menace!"
>"I've known her since we were fillies, she's just misunderstood!"
>Known her since they were fillies.
>That actually explains a lot about Fluttershy's insatiable libido.
>"We just need to keep her hidden for a week, then we'll get paid."
>You suck in a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.
"...How much?"

>>30182842
>"About six million bits."
>If you still had your coffee, you'd take a swig and spray it all over her.
>But Milky stole it.
>You weren't man enough to stop her.
"Whaaa..."
>"She's a rich pony, has a lot of underground investments."
"If she's your friend and she's so rich, why hasn't she helped us before?"
>"I've been spending the last few months talking to her through about fifty different middle-men, Anon, she's been a hard mare to reach since since she fled!"
"Right. But still... that's a lot of money."
>"It is. We'd be set for the next thirty years if she comes through."
"..."
>"I know it's um, not exactly 'legal'--"
"If they find her we're both dead."
>"...Yes, true, but what choice do we have? If we don't get funding the company will fold."
"We could always work at Anon In Equestria."
>...
"Gonna pretend I didn't say that out loud."
>"Yeah that's a pretty good idea, fuckwit."
>You both reenter the kitchen.
>Milky smiles at Fluttershy.
>And -really- smiles at you.
>"Oh there you both are, I refilled your milk bottles-- no no, no need to thank me, it's just what I do best~!"
>You look at the sidebar and see that all 8 of the empty bottles you had in the fridge have been filled.
>Holy shit.
>Fluttershy gulps.
>"So Milky, um, obviously you can't leave the building until you get picked up, and we don't have any beds or sofas--"
>"Oh psssh, Fluttershy, doll, it's fine! I'll sleep in here."
>"Are you... sure?"
>"Of course! I've slept in cesspools whilst running from the law, heck, I even slept inside another pony once. Had to slice him open and sleep inside him like uh, oh what was that movie..."
"...Star Wars?"
>"Yes! Star Whores, -great- porno, I part-funded it don't you know, but anyway I'll sleep in the cupboard, don't worry about lil' old me! Though I do tend to get ah, a bit antsy around this time of year, so I may need to 'borrow' your lovely male friend here, Fluttershy~"

>>30182843
"Out of the questi--"
>"Absolutely, of course you can, Milky."
>Fluttershy glares at you.
>Fucking perfect.
>Milky giggles playfully and strokes your leg.
>"Oooh staying here's gonna be a blast! Don't worry, sugar, I can play nice~"
>God help you.
>Stay strong, Anon.
>Remember the six million.

Huehuehue.

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>>30182836
>Milky Way

>>30169873
What the fuck is going on in this pic?

>>30182847
This storyline is fantastic.

>>30182843
Yes

So is this going to far?
https://derpibooru.org/1448269

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>>30186177
Not far enough.

>>30187065
Neat, a story behind that behind?

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>>30185608
Don't knock it 'til you try it...

what is flutterrape?

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You know when I said that I couldn't find the motivation to continue writing my story?

Well, I think I just might've found it.

>>30188604
That's good to hear, how was that thing anyways?

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>>30188604
I feel exactly what you mean, and im gonna spend this week finishing what I just started, + that fucking Sunset sequel...

>>30188604
>>30188637
Yes
>>30188522
an autism containment center for anons that don't want to fuck ponies
they're weird, man. stay away from them

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>>30186177
Fuuuck... Fluttershy would have me after a bit with that sort of thing. I would have to spend hours checking out the detailing and design work put into an articulate little piece like that. Consider my bone owned.

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>>30163876
>What about some of the others?
Okay. I'd like to hear from other Anon's too.

When you think of the writefags, and the anons they write, how do you picture them?

>Driver's anons
The classic Weaver-drawn human from his original FR drawings. pic related
>Jchallo's anons
Steve Urkel
>Cog and his anons
Carl from Aqua Teen (yes, even in Young Love)
>Swift's anons
Abe Lincoln from Clone High (I hear Will Forte's voice, too, which makes reading all the more fun)
>Nebulus and his anons
That one pic Neb uses on his pastebin; the one of the guy with the really bright smile
>Smudgey and his anons
Classic greenman anon with the suit; but he's also wearing glasses

There are others too, but they're just kind of weird (like Akuma in place of Akame's anons, and Jack Nicholson's Joker for Clever's).

https://derpibooru.org/1448284

Hot Monkey Dick

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>>30188957

I don't think much about my Anons, but I occasionally use pic related as my avatar.

Oop, bump

>>30188957
>Carl
I kinda want to reread all the classics now with Carl as Anon, accent and everything.
He is such a well made character and he just fits into this universe too well.

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>>30188957
>Smudgey and his anons
>Classic greenman anon with the suit; but he's also wearing glasses

Yeah, that sounds about right to me. That's how I picture my Anons unless they've got some sorta unique trait for that particular story.

A tribute to the nameless Anon who wrote a similar story to this one all too long ago.
I hope you enjoy.

>Day Necrophilia in Equestria.
>You are Anon.
>Rolling from bed, you stumble your way over to the bathroom.
>While you shower, you begin to ponder life's many questions.
>'Why am I here? Just to suffer? An ironic antithesis of this bright and colorful land?'
>'Is it all a test? Will my inevitable acceptance of these ponies and their foreign ways lead to my salvation?, permitting me to finally be happy on this pastel land of ponies?'
>'Will I ever have to stick my dick inside Fluttershy and enjoy it?'
>This causes your mind to go blank and you eyes to widen, fixated on the falling water, yet not looking at it.
"Nah."
>You shake the silly thoughts from your mind and finish your triple S.
>You don your tattered bathrobe and head downstairs for some cereal.
>There is a comfortable overcast settling low in the morning sky, one could tell the gentle pitterpatter of rain was not far off.
>An eye gazes toward a nearby clock...10:59 AM.
>A sigh escapes you as you shift your gaze back to the grey sky.
>Tick tock...
>As the clock silently strikes 11 AM, the sound of three gentle knocks thump against your door.
>You make your way to the door, eager to end this part of the day as quick as possible.
"Alright Flutts, what do you got today-"
>A decaying corpse is laid in a heap on your front porch.
>Bone is exposed and limbs are detached, clearly it's been dead for days.
>The skin has turned a dull yellow, some green appears to be visible too; perhaps gangrene?
>You don't actually know what gangrene looks like.
>...
"No Fluttershy, necrophilia is not my fetish."
>Gently closing the door, you feel yourself slowly slide down the door's length, onto the floor.
>You stare at your boner in guilt.
>Necrophilia was your fetish.

Fish are Bumpin Vinny's fishing line Bump

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>>30188957
>Jack Nicholson's Joker for Clever's
That fits very well. Noice.

>>30192057
Not bad would read again.

>>30191179
>You glance at the clock and breathe out heavily through your nose.
>It's 7:58.
>Saving your progress on the story you've been working on, you stand up and stretch your legs.
"Fluttershy? I'm going outside to get the mail!"
>"Okay, but you can't bring her inside this time!"
"Why not?"
>"Because we have a domestic terrorist hidden in our kitchen!"
"Oh yeah, forgot, sorry!"
>You walk towards the stairs.
>As you pass the kitchen, Milky Way watches you, leant against the door-frame with her front hoof crossed over the other.
>"Aww, you forgot about me? That's cold."
"You keep away from me, you demon, I don't know where you've been."
>"I know where I'd -like- to be, sugar~"
>You shudder as she cackles gleefully.
>Exiting the building, you enjoy the sun on your face for a bit before you enter the shadow of the high-rise across the street and walk along the pavement in front of your building.
>You yawn, a hand covering your mouth as you wait for the mail to come.
>Check your watch.
>It's 8:00.
>Here we go again.
>Same as every morning.
>You check your positioning under the second floor office window.
>Adjust your feet slightly, then slowly hold out your arms.
>And...
>...
>SMACK.
>A grey ball slams into the windowpane with a bang.
>Thankfully, the glass holds this time, and the mare drops from the air like a stone.
>Right into your arms.
>She shakes her head and twists around in confusion.
>Then, she looks up at you, and beams in her natural, innocent way.
>"Hiya Anon!"
"Morning Derpy."
>"I got you a letter!"
"Just the one, or several?"
>"Oh! Uhh... I'd need to check..."
>You set her down and she rummages around in her satchel.
"You know Derpy, you could always use the door."
>"I know... but windows are confusing to pegasi, we never really know they're there until the last minute."
"Even though you slam into that same window every day?"
>She shrugs.
>"I dunno, just the way we are, I guess."
>She hands(?) over a stack of letters.

>>30193970
>Bills, more than likely.
>"So um..."
>She gives you a meek look.
>"C-can I come in for some milk and biscuits, please?"
>You regard her affectionately.
"If I were a suspicious man I'd say you were hitting our window on purpose so that I'd have an excuse to tend to you."
>She grins toothily, and blushes.
>"No, I just uh... I need to check on, you know. Stuff."
"Right, stuff, of course."
>You sigh.
"Well I'm sorry, Derps, but today I'm going to have to say no."
>Her ears fold back, and her smile fades.
>"Oh! Well... okay. Sorry for asking I--"
"No no, it's just we have, uh, a rat."
>"A rat?"
"Oh yeah, it's huge. Size of a pony. Wouldn't want you getting hurt, is all."
>"Alright, if you say so..."
>She forces herself to smile again, and takes flight once more.
>"In that case, I'll see you tomorrow, mister Anon!"
"Just Anon will do, Derps, you take care."
>"Alright! Bye!"
>You wave as she flies away.
>Then look at the letters she gave you.
>They're all addressed to Anon In Equestria Inc.
>Fuck.

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>>30182847
>Remember the six million.
You clever son of a bitch

>>30193980

>>30189004
I imagine this being a cutaway if she attempts to seduce Anon through song.

>>30193980
I'm really surprised by how much you manage to keep adding to these.

>>30193980
These are really nice one shots, but you should know that there actually is a rat the size of a pony in the offices.
Slasher is training it to do his bidding as we speak

>Anon breaks his leg (most likely thanks to some of Fluttershy's shenanigans)
>It's put in a cast and he has to spend all day at home for the next few months
>Fluttershy keeps coming over; she actually bothers him more now, since his injury has slowed him down and makes it harder to keep her away
>One day she brings him a whole bunch of pony porn, even though he doesn't like ponies
>Out of boredom, he checks out the pony porn
>Instaboner
>Much to his surprise, Anon becomes addicted to pony porn
>This is something he has to hide from Fluttershy at all costs; she'd go even crazier and never leave him alone if she ever found out
>Inevitably, he realizes that he's tired of the mags that she brought him; he needs some new porn
>He has to go out, despite his cast making him move slow as molasses, get his porn and come back, all without being caught by
>Fucking Fluttershy

bump

>>30196614
Nice bump/prompt anon.

>>30195683
>You wander back inside, frowning at the letters in your hand.
>This means you'll either have to drop them off at Twilight's place, or throw them in the bin.
>You know which one Fluttershy will pick.
>Maybe you should just keep them from her?
>As you think on this, you tread heavily up the flight of stairs leading to the office.
>The first thing you notice when you get there is the yellow object hurtling towards you.
>Instinctively you flinch and hold up your hands, but Fluttershy collides with you regardless.
>You hold the pony in your arms, blinking dumbly at her.
>She glares at you in return.
>So nothing new there.
"Can I help you, boss?"
>"We have a problem."
>"WHERE IS IT?!" a voice bellows from the kitchen.
>"We have a serious problem."
>Clutching your boss (who takes the liberty of wrapping her hooves around your neck and getting comfortable), you walk steadily towards the kitchen.
>Nudge open the door with a foot, prepared for anything.
>Milky Way is stood in the middle of the floor.
>She spins to face you, a crazed look in her eye.
>Between her teeth is a large, blood soaked serrated knife.
"Oh fuck, Shy are we gonna die?"
>Milky grins maniacally and speaks over the knife between her teeth. Somehow.
>"There's a rat in this building."
"...Were you listening to what I said to Derpy? That was a joke--"
>"No, sugar, there's an actual rat in this building. I saw it rooting through the fridge."
>...
>Oh shit so -that's- what was stealing all the food.
>Fluttershy buries her face in your neck and sniffs.
>"You're wearing that fragrance I like, Anon."
"Uh, is now really the best time, boss?"
>"Not really, but you'd better watch yourself, stud."
>A loud chattering resonates around the room.
>All three of you freeze.
>Milky chuckles darkly.
>"Come back for more, have you?"
>You look around.
"There's only one door, where--"
>"The ceiling tiles. It's using the ceiling tiles to get around, sugar."

>>30197654
>You glance up at the segmented ceiling nervously.
>Slowly, one of them raises slightly, and pulls back.
>You see a pair of beady eyes peering out at you from the darkness.
>Then, a blur of motion.
>A massive, pony-sized rat launches itself from the shadows directly at Milky Way.
>She gleefully rushes to meet it, a tangled mess of pony and rat merging in a frenzied mess.
>Your grip on Fluttershy tightens, and she squeals as your hand clutches her flank.
>Taking a few steps back, you watch in horror as the rat tries to take a chunk out of Milky.
>Milky, not having any of that shit, stabs the knife right into the rat's shoulder.
>It shrieks and claws at her, a spray of blood marking the floor and wall.
>The mare grunts and wrestles the rat onto its back, sitting on its chest and raising the knife above it as it to strike downwards.
>Before she can do so, the rat wriggles out from under her and, using its considerable weight, shunts her to the ground.
>She slides along the tiled floor, her blood streaking under her.
>The rat uses its moment of freedom to dash to the fridge.
>You watch in silent amazement as it rears up and opens the door with its claws, reaching in and grabbing your lunch box between its teeth.
>Mother fucker, that's why you keep finding it empty and covered in bite marks.
>You thought it was Fluttershy this whole time.
>The rat considerately shuts the fridge door and in one mighty leap, reenters the ceiling through the hole it had made.
>Fluttershy, Milky, and yourself watch as the tile slides back into place.
>And then there is silence.
>...
>Milky rises to her hooves with a pained grunt.
>"Little furry bastard actually got me!"
>She grins, despite having lost a lot of blood.
>Fluttershy leaps out of your arms and immediately starts fussing over her friend.
>"Oh Milky, you must have been so scared!"

>>30197662
>"Who, me? Sugar, I used to fight Diamond Dogs for scraps of leftovers, that was nothing."
>She staggers over to a drawer and pulls it open, retrieving the first-aid kit within where she busies herself with the bandages and iodine inside.
>"Ah well, I'll get him next time. Well-trained rat though, I must admit."
"You think someone trained that thing?"
>"Of course! The question is who."
>The three of you pause and turn your attention to the vents.
>If you strain yourself, you can just about hear a distant, whisper of a voice.
>'Ooo, ham sandwiches again it seems, Rudolph...'
>You may need to buy some rat poison.
>...
"Boss, really."
>"You grabbed my ass during that, you're wearing that scent again, and violence gets me horny, oh you'd better believe we're doing this."
>Working here is hell.

>>30197669
Outstanding Neb.

>>30197669
Your interpretation of Milky is... odd.

>>30197669
Ay

>>30197694
"Was she really a milk-mare?"
>You and Fluttershy peer through a crack in the door at Milky as she hums to herself and deposits more of her 'product' into your milk bottles.
>To her credit, you've saved a fair bit of money on milk whilst she's been here.
>Fluttershy nods.
>"One of the best, of course that all changed when the government outlawed ponymilk."
"Isn't it a bit weird that she produces that much though? Do you not find it weird that people used to drink that stuff?"
>"Why would I? Do humans not drink their own milk?"
"Well sure, but only when they're young."
>"That's not what I've seen."
"Wh--"
>"I watch so much porn, Anon."
"Oh."
>You turn back to Milky.
>She places the fourth bottle back in the fridge.
"So the government bans ponymilk and the only logical solution is domestic terrorism."
>"That's just the way she saw it."
"Tragic."
>"I know. An innocent mare put out of work by a fascist regime..."
"...I was more thinking about all the people she put out of work in response."
>"Oh. Them too, I guess."
"Did you really know her when you were fillies?"
>"Yup."
"What was she like?"
>"Lewd."
"Really? Shocker."
>"She hit puberty when she was ten. Lost her virginity when she was eleven."
"Jesus. Who too?"
>"Me."
>...
"O-oh."
>"We're really good friends."
"Shy I don't think--"
>"Best friends."
>...
>"That's why she's always in my office--"
"Yeah, I got it."
>...
>"Lactation is one of my fetishes--"
"Okay, right, no need to say anymore."
>...
>"Is lactation your fet--"
"Please stop."

Heh.

>>30197886
Holy shit neb this just keeps getting better and better

>>30197886
>Neb truly is the hero of the ages.
>The chosen writefag.
Really, thank you for having a hand in keeping the tread alive all this time.

>>30197886
It's a masterpiece.

>>30197886
>>"Is lactation your fetish?"

Yes

>>30197886
That's a good one.

>>30197654
This is why dropped acoustic ceilings are the architectural equivalent of a control girdle. You know that shit's hiding something nasty.

>>30197886
Power to the ponies.

>>30201154
>"So what do you -do-, exactly?"
>You wince at the voice.
>Milky Way slips into your cubical and leans against you as you tap away at the keyboard.
"I write stories."
>"Ohh yes, Fluttershy mentioned these. So people really read this stuff?"
"Uh yeah, there's a real market for it, well, Fluttershy and I still think so."
>"Mm? Others think otherwise?"
"Yeah, Twilight Sparkle from Anon In Equestria Inc. thinks that Flutterrape is outdated and behind the times, she thinks we need to modernise and mix with them in order to survive."
>You sniff a take a sip of your coffee.
"It's all bullshit. She just wants to clean up the competition, absorb anything that she can, and Flutterrape is a special case since she used to work here."
>"Ooh, drama, my favourite topic~"
>Milky Way pulls up a chair and leans an elbow on your desk, smiling at you.
>You don't like the way she looks at you.
>It's predatory.
>...
>So really, she fits right in here.
>"What made her quit?"
"Just internal disagreements about where the company should go. Fluttershy wanted FR to be about the lewd. It was the lewd that brought people in and stripping it of that would tear the soul out if it."
>"And Twilight thought otherwise?"
"She thought that the company would be better off if we made stories that weren't lewd. Adventure, sci-fi, romance, you know, all that stuff."
>"Sounds boring."
"Well, thing is, you can have an FR story with all those elements, AND the added bonus of a quick and filthy clop scene thrown in at the end for good measure, what's not to like?"
>"I know I like it."
"Yeah well you would."
>She places a hoof on her chest in mock-surprise.
>"Anon! I'm offended that you would think such a thing."
"Aren't you a millionaire porn investor?"
>"Porn, drugs, pony-milk, human and equine trafficking, the whole deal, sugar."
"Jesus."
>"So how did she leave?"

>>30201870
"She managed to convince half of our writers that the future was in AiE, so she basically organised an exodus and some time about six years ago just walked out with half of everything we had."
>"Devious little bitch!"
>Milky Way grins.
>"I rather like her way of thinking!"
"Yeah well... just don't go talking about that with Fluttershy, she'll burst a blood vessel."
>"Aww, is my sweet little Shy angry when I'm not around?"
"Is she angry?! Milky she's the most volatile pony I've ever met."
>Milky giggles.
>"Not when I'm nearby~"
>You're about to retort, but then think about it.
>She -has- been a bit more restrained since Milky got here.
>Maybe it takes a super-criminal to keep her in check.
>"So, Twilight takes half the staff, then her whole little venture fails and they're basically now on the same level as you are, right?"
"Ouch, that hurt, but uh, no, not really."
>"Oh?"
"Well. You know that massive skyscraper in the middle of the city?"
>She cocks her head.
>"What, the Ivory Perch?"
"Yeah, that."
>"That...?"
"That's it. That's Anon In Equestria Incorporated."
>Milky stares at you.
>"Sweet lord."
>She looks around your office.
>"And you're stuck in -this- dump?!"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Milky."
>"Well I mean, I can understand being rivals with a company, sugar, but she's way beyond your league!"
"Looks that way, yeah."
>"So are you going to take her up on the offer and merge?"
"I think about it from time to time. Twilight comes around every couple of months to check on us and ask again."
>Milky's look softens.
>"Aww, that's sweet of her."
"Yeah, she's nice."
>"Nice? Even though she stole half your company?"
"Well, Twilight and I never had any ill-will between us, even after what happened. We, uh, like each other a lot."
>Milky's predatory grin returns.
>"Oooh, do I sense a budding romance?"

>>30201881
"Knock it off, it's more like a good friendship. Besides, if I started anything with Twilight then Fluttershy would break my kneecaps."
>"Oh my little Shy would do no such thing, she's an angel. Even named her rabbit Angel last time I checked."
"That rabbit's no angel, it's a killer."
>"Pssh."
>She goes quiet and you carry on tapping away at your story.
>Eventually, you hear the chair next to you sliding, and Milky draws herself closer, speaking in a more muted, business-like tone.
>"You know... now that I'm back in the city and my assets are establishing a foothold in the city's underbelly, I'll be able to start making things happen sooner or later."
"Uh. Okay?"
>"Well, I'm just saying, sugar, if you want then I can pull a few strings, get a few specialists together, make a plan, and bring that entire tower crashing down around her."
"..."
>"Come on, wouldn't it be fun? Watching that corporation just burn to ashes?"
"And hundreds of people could die, or worse, lose their jobs."
>"Omelettes and eggs, Anon."
"What kind of omelette are -you- thinking of?"
>Milky wraps a hoof around your shoulder and makes a grand gesture in the air with the other.
>"Imagine: Flutterrape LTD on top of the world! The biggest and most successful company around!"
"Would that success be due to there not being any competition?"
>"Well, if you look at it a certain way, yes."
>You shake your head.
"No, Milky, this company was founded on strong Christian morals. We're a kind company."
>"Honey, your company motto is literally 'Where no means yes and yes means anal'."
"Loads of Christians do anal."
>She lets out a hearty laugh.
>"I'll give you that one!"
>The mare backs off a bit, but remains close to you, turning her attention to your screen.
>"So if you're too boring to destroy your enemies, maybe I can help you here..."
"How so?"
>"Well, you know, this! Writing stories! Can't be too hard, can it?"
>You raise an eyebrow and give a surprised laugh.

>>30201892
"You? Write?"
>"Sure! I'm creative!"
"Alrighty then, let's hear it."
>"Okay, so what if there was a story where Fluttershy was... really big!"
>...
"...Is that it?"
>"Of course!"
>You blink.
>She frowns.
>"What, too much?"
"Uh, no, it's just really... mundane."
>"Mundane?! But it's a story about a -giant pony-! Think of how incredible it would be to be smooched by a giant pony!"
"Yeah, kinda dull. Loads of stories have had that in them."
>She looks disappointed, but curious.
>"Well what sort of stories have you done? What's the craziest thing you've ever written?"
"Oh that's easy, I once wrote a story about a vampire bounty-hunter who came to Equestria to kill a target, but the target was a shapeshifter and it steals the forms of various Ponyville residents so the hunter has to figure out who's the real target whilst trying to fend off hordes of rapist clones that the target was creating in a secret lair under a volcano, and the whole thing ends in a massive orgy but the vampire hunter dies as he cums inside the last mare, and then the story ends. It's a bittersweet ending."
>Milky Way stares in disbelief at you.
>"And people... read this stuff."
"Oh yeah, that was one of our most popular stories. It sold six thousand units!"
>You allow yourself to swell with pride.
>"...Is that a lot?"
"Well uh, it is for Flutterrape..."
>"Right."
>She glances at the screen.
>Then back at you.
>"Okay, I can see that I might be out of my depth here, sugar, so I'll just leave you to it, and stick to what I know, like running a criminal empire, and making the best damn milk this world has ever known. How's the coffee, by the way?"
"It's really goo-- oooh, you put your milk in it didn't you."
>"Not just my milk, dear."
>She winks at you and walks off laughing as you splutter and pour your coffee on a nearby potted plant.
>Fucking Milky Way.
>...
>When you're sure she's gone, you open a new document and give it a title.
>' Giant Fluttershy Story '

Bump.

>>30201897
10/10 bump Neb.

>Fluttershy creates an air freshener that smells like Anon, with many fragrances, like clean, dirty, covered in mud, etc.
>All the ponies start wearing them, claiming that you smell fantastic
>Pinkie decorates the town with them, hanging them on trees and off of street lamps
>Soon all of Ponyville smells like you
>The fragrances filing the air gives you constant headaches
>And now all the mares are starting to stare at you just like Fluttershy usually does
>Your solution is to run around and clamp their noses shut with clothespins like some kind of olfactory vigilante

>>30204051
You know those scented pine tree fresheners? I picture those except they're shaped like Anon's D.

>>30204051
That's a pretty good prompt.

>>30201897
Maybe once they get paid they can afford to hire on some more writers.

Like that Short Storys mare

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>>30205054
>Hire new writers
You make is sound so easy. We need to kidnap our old missing writers and FORCE them to write! We need to refurbish Flutterrape headquarters from a rape dungeon into a regular dungeon to house writefags. LET THE NEW ERA BEGIN! AN ERA OF FORCED GREEN!

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I'm a horrible person. I said I'd contribute some more green, but instead I'm doing this again.

I've actually got 2 things semi-drafted, just need to throw more words into them to make them worth reading.

>>30205406
That's good to hear, can't wait.

>"Anon, bring me some covfefe."
>You stop typing in mid-sentence.
"Say what now?"
>"Covfefe! Bring me some covfefe!"
>You wish she wouldn't try to talk with things in her mouth.
>You refuse to speculate on what she has in her mouth.
>With a deep sigh, you save your work, then lever yourself out of your seat and trudge over to the coffee pot.
>The coffee is a couple of hours old, so you add extra sugar.
>Fluttershy likes a little coffee with her sugar.
>Picking up the mug, you trudge over to Fluttershy's lavish corner office suite and knock on the door.
>"It's about time! Get in here!"
>You open the door.
"Here's your coffee..."
>She's standing on her desk, lubing up a massive black strap-on.
>"I didn't ask for coffee, you simpleton. I asked for covfefe!"
>She tosses the bottle aside.
>"Now drop trou and bend over."
>Ah.
>Today must be Thursday.
>You never could get the hang of Thursdays.

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>You raise your had to swipe her away, but thats just what she wants

>>30206691
That's a nice gif.

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>>30206691

>>30205054
>You aren't enjoying this.
>Not even remotely.
>But as Milky Way molests the inside of your mouth with her tongue, her hooves hooked around your neck in a vice, you find that as much as you complain you can't actually do anything about it.
>With an over-exaggerated 'MWAH!', Milky breaks her kiss.
>Though really it was more like tongue-rape.
>She beams at your dark expression and unhooks from your neck, dropping to the floor.
>"Hope it was good for you too, sugar~"
"Yeah, great."
>She flashes you a wink and turns to Fluttershy.
>"Well Shy, this is it."
>Your boss nods tearfully.
>"I-I'll miss you..."
>The two share a hug as Fluttershy babbles over her friend's shoulder.
>"You'll try and stay in touch won't you? I-I couldn't bear losing you again, what if the government finds you? Will you be safe? Oh maybe you should just stay here..."
>The milk-mare chuckles and frees herself from the other pony's desperate clinging.
>"Sugar, I'll always be in touch~! My assets are set up and I'm ready to get back to making this entire city my personal fuck-toy, so relax! Just try not to sell me out to the cops again this time, hun?"
>Fluttershy winces.
>"I-It was a mistake... they tricked me..."
>"I know, sugar, I know." Milky says affectionately.
>She gives Fluttershy a quick peck on the forehead and motions to the burly stallions at the door.
>"Come on, boys, let's go tame a city."
>They nod silently and follow their boss out of the room and down the stairs.
>For a minute, Fluttershy and yourself stand still, listening to her steps get quieter until you hear the front door open and shut.
>...
"Well. That's that."
>"Yeah. Anyway, get back to work, fucknugget, we have a company to rebuild."
"Rebuild? With what?"
>"Looks like someone forgot the six million."

>>30209189
"Wh-- oh, OH, Christ, I completely forgot about that. Kinda easy to do so though when you're actively being molested by a super-criminal on a regular basis. Thanks for keeping her away from me by the way, you asshole."
>"What the fuck was I going to do, drag her off you? She's a mare with needs, and you were the only man in the vicinity. Besides, she's usually into mares so you should consider yourself privileged."
"Wow. Privileged. Okay, so what are you planning to do with all that money anyway?"
>"What do you think? We need to start hiring some ponies and making this place into something semi-respectable."
"I thought looks didn't matter and that we were respectable on the inside?"
>"Well I'm stood inside this office and it's a fucking disgrace from what I can see, now get on Craigslist and find me some god damn writers."
"Yes boss."
>You mock-salute and begin heading back to your desk, Fluttershy walking to her office at the other side of the room.
>As you pass the kitchen your call out to her.
"Hey, are we ever gonna get rid of that giant rat corpse?"
>"What corpse? It's not dead, you dipshit, just sleeping."
"Why is it sleeping in our kitchen?"
>"Hell if I know, but now that Milky's not here who's gonna deal with it? You?"
>She forces out a laugh.
>"I'd pay six million bits to see that."
"Don't try me, I'm a pro with a knife."
>"You're not even a pro with your own dick, what are you gonna do with a knife?"
>Ouch.
>She's really giving it to you today.
>Must be Milky-withdrawal.
>You have to admit though, that milk definitely grew on you. It's an acquired taste, you'll miss it.
>Well, at least she's gone now, and you'll never have to deal with her ever again for as long as you live.
>...Even when you lie to yourself you feel guilty.
>You slide into your creaky chair and pull yourself closer to the desk, looking over the screen with a bored expression.

>>30209194
>Alright, so now you just need to find some writers.
>Shouldn't be too hard; city's full of aspiring young minds ready to get started in the world of work.
>Or at least that's what the state-funded news networks tell you.
>Most young people you see on the way to work are more concerned with fidget spinners and crack cocaine than actually being functional adults.
>Ah well.
>Just send out a few applications and let the cards fall where they may.
>Not like you can find anyone worse than Milky.

>"So like, I was thinking I could be the boss maybe? I've been running a blog for a few years now and that's -basically- the same thing as running a company, right? So what do you think?"
>You stare at the young girl behind the desk, who's now looking at her phone since she finished speaking and completely ignoring your incredulous gaze.
>This is why you don't use Craigslist to find employees.
"I don't think you have what we're looking for."
>"I'm putting this on my blog you fucking bigot."

>"..."
"..."
>"..."
"..."
>"..."
"Uh. You alright, sir?"
>The stallion simply stares at you.
>You look at his resume.
>It's just a picture of him staring at the camera the same way he is now.
>You look back up at the stallion.
>He has a small smile on his face, and you notice that a box-cutter is on the table between you both.
>Gulp.

>"...So I have several years of experience leading a team, have pioneered a successful story brand, and am ready to work in a new environment on any project put before me to the best of my ability."
"That's great, boss, but this interview is for people who don't run the fucking company."

>>30209201
>"I'm only here because you said there would be drinks."
"Fluttershy you own the company. You own the drinks."
>"THEN GIVE ME MY FUCKING BOOZE, ANON."

>"So can I have those biscuits and milk now?"
"Derpy you can't work here, please leave."
>"C-can we hang out at least?"
"...After work."
>"Woo hoo!"
"Ahh get outta here, you loveable scamp."

>Your forehead is sore.
>Likely because you've been resting it on the cold metal table for a while now.
>The hunt for a new employee has been fruitless to say the least.
>Or maybe not, actually, you -did- interview a gay guy at one point.
>Still, maybe it's time to pack things up and forget the whole thing.
>Hopefully Fluttershy will get drunk and completely erase any memory of having asked you to find more workers.
>As far as employees go, you're definitely deserving of employee of the month.
>...
>You frown as you realise you've thought that before.
>The employee of the month this time was Milky.
>Fucking -Milky-.
>It's not that you're surprised that annoys you.
>It's that you're not even remotely surprised.
>You shut your file and stretch your arms out, yawning.
>Better go--
>"Hey asshole."
>You glance at the door of your little impromptu interview room.
>Fluttershy is there.
>Glaring.
>As always.
>"Got one more applicant. Play nice."
>With that, she disappears, and a frumpy-looking bespectacled mare walks in.
>She freezes when she sees the giant rat sleeping in the corner of the room.
"Hello, my name is Anonymous. We're using the kitchen as an interview room. Yes, that is actually a giant rat; he's mostly harmless when he's asleep, so please don't wake him up or the consequences will be dire."
>The mare slowly walks to the desk and takes a seat across from you.
>You reopen your file and look through the list of names you had down.
"Miss... Short Storys?"
>"That's me, yes, hi."
"Is that a typo?"
>"No, that's just how it's spelt."

>>30209206
"I see. So what made you want to write for Flutterrape?"
>"The advert said there would be booze."
>That's the fifth person to mention that.
>Why the fuck did you offer booze in the advert.
"Well yes, there is booze, but why else do you want to write for us?"
>"Um, well I write stories as a hobby, and I need a job."
>...
>"Also Anon In Equestria aren't hiring, and Reverse Gender Roles told me to fuck off when I said I wanted to write for them, so..."
>She looks around at the dirty kitchen.
>"I figured this was the next best place...?"
"You thought right!"
>"...Are you sure?"
"Not always, no, but tell me, what sort of writing are you expecting to do? Are you aware of what you will be asked to write here?"
>"Ponyrape, right?"
"Yes, precisely, it--"
>"Yeah I can do that, sounds easy."
>You give a good-natured chuckle.
"I assure you, Miss Storys, it's a lot harder than it looks, it requires--"
>"I dunno, you just come up with a gimmick and slap rape on it whenever things get boring. Kinda simple."
"I, uh... w-well we'll see how you do. Frankly you're the only normal-looking person to walk through the door today--"
>"I HEARD THAT YOU LANKY FUCK."
"FUCK YOU FLUTTERSHY GO JACK OFF IN YOUR OFFICE INSTEAD OF LISTENING INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S COVERSATIONS."
>"YOUR ASS IS MINE WHEN SHE'S GONE."
"WELL JOKE'S ON YOU, DICKWAFFLE, SHE'S NOT LEAVING."
>You glance at Short Storys.
"By the way, you're hired, you start on Monday."
>"Cool."
>...
>"And I think you woke the rat up by shouting."
"Oh fucksticks--"

Oops.

>>30209214
I feel like I'm learning so much about the threads history reading these, but I'm certain at least half of it is bullshit.

>>30209375
Deepest lore...

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>>30209214
>He woke up Rudolph

>>30209214
Isn't there some guy in the vents? What if they made him work for rent?

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>>30209201

>>30209501
There's also a drunken bum who sleeps on a grate in front of the building. Occasionally he wanders in, since the security staff left long ago, hides in one of the offices, and writes stories. But then he steals something to sell so he can buy more booze. He seems pretty pissed off about things. So far he isn't dangerous.

>>30209501
>Making Slasher write a story
HAHA, the guy was/is in the fucking army, we have no power over him.
Only [MOTHER] can force Slasher to do anything.

>>30209562
And don't forget that back alley preacher, though I suppose he's been gone for a bit.

>Be Anon
>Wake up but don't feel like P. Diddy
>Do your morning routine, the Triple S
>Go downstairs and pour yourself some Scootaloops while you wait for Fluttershy
>Hear a knock on your chamber door
>itbegins.jpg
>Open the door
>See what looks like a big yellow tree on your front step
>Look up
>A giant pair of blue eyes looks down at you
Fluttershy?
>"Hi Anon, are giants your fetish?"
No, now go away.
>Instead of sulking away all disappointed, she just smiles
>It's creepy and you don't like it
>She picks you up
Fucking Fluttershy, let me go!
>She starts kissing your entire body with her giant horse lips
>You're covered head to toe in horse saliva
>"Sorry, Anon, but I'm taking you with me."
>She starts carrying you away
>"We're going to go live in Giant Ponyville, then we can get married, and you can fuck my giant pussy and we can start a family of giant ponies."
>She fucking kidnapping you to be used as a sex toy!
>You turn and reach out to your house
No! My cereal!
>Your cereal was left behind
>It got soggy and was never eaten by anyone ever again
>You went to Giant Ponyville with Fluttershy and got married against your will
>And now you're a reluctant father to a whole family of giant foals
>All thanks to
>Fucking Fluttershy

another quality story from Flutterrape LTD

>>30210296
10/10 I'll take 300 units.

>>30210296
Nice

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>>30210296
10/10
You deserve to be the employee of the month.

>Day whatever in Equestria B
>The only thing worse than being constantly solicited by that yellow donkey reject is being a donkey reject yourself in a world of colorful humans
>You have to live in a stable
>You have to eat pasture, hay and whatnot
>At least it's been two months here with no sign of --
>*knock knock knock*
>MOTHER FUCKER
>"Hi, horsey! Aren't you the cutest, most beautiful pony I've ever seen?"
>Yellow skin, pink hair, that crazy glint in her eye only seen in the most wanted sex perverts
>She starts brushing you all over, helping you deal with a nasty itch you couldn't reach
>You try to complain but only manage to neigh
>After a while, it starts to feel good, and you hesitantly relax a bit
>"You're the only stallion for me, you know?"
>SHE STARTS STRIPPING
>YOUR HORSE PILLAR DEFIES THE TOWER OF PISA
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>You suddenly wake up, hooked up to what seem to be a dream controlling machine
>"So, is reverse bestiality your fetish?"
>You rip off your dream helmet and kick it into Fluttershy's ass before marching away furiously
>She spends the next hour cumming from the violent destruction visited upon her genitals
>Until she has to go to the hospital to get it removed

Fucking Fluttershy. Sorry, first attempt at this crap.

>>30211293
Not bad for your first attempt anon.

>>30211293
This is your first attempt? Damn good work; this easily places as a nice memorable green in my book.

Could you really say no to this?
https://derpibooru.org/tags/comic-colon-flutter+filling

>>30211473
Sure could!

>>30209691
Who knows maybe he'll come back someday.

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>>30211293
I liked it, not Shakespeare or anything, but I liked it.

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>>30201154
>>30208396
Yes, this is my fetish.

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>>30212726

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>>30212728
My dick hurts.

>>30201154
>>30208396
>>30212726
>>30212728
>>30212733
Time for some spelunking!

>>30212733
Unf

>>30211473
My only response is as follows: https://derpibooru.org/1451082

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>>30212747

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>>30213467

>>30209501
"This won't work."
>"Yes it will."
"Taking out Slasher Science won't magically rid us of Rudolph.
>"We're doing this."
"And I'm telling you, it won't work."
>"Anon, I'm sick of that fucking rat."
"He's not that bad; as long as we keep feeding him six times a day he tends to leave you alone."
>"Friday."
"Friday was an anomaly."
>"He ate my fucking office chair."
"It was a shitty chair."
>"That chair was with this company from the start."
"Exactly, it was falling to bits and you would do well to replace it."
>"I made love on, and to that chair more times than you can fathom. It was special to me."
"All the more reason why it had to go; it was tainted."
>"The same pussy juices that saturated that leather have also saturated your face, Anonymous, don't try and take the moral high-ground here."
"Charmingly put, Fluttershy."
>"Shut up. You're fired. Now put that cheese under the vent."
"I thought we were luring out Slasher?"
>"Yes...?"
"...With cheese?"
>"Yes, all white people like cheese, Anon."
"Was Slasher even white?"
>"Of course he was white."
"How do you know? He used to come into work with a balaclava and gloves on."
>"Only a white guy would do something that tremendously autistic."
"We write rape-fiction for money, Fluttershy, we're not really in a position to call others autistic."
>"Whatever, hold my drink, I'll do it myself. Actually, you're pissing me off today, What's-Your-Face, hold my drink."
>"M-my name's Short Story's ma'am."
>"Shut up. Fuck you. You're fired. Why is everyone around here so incompetent?"
"You're not actually fired, Shorts, stay where you are."
>"You're not her boss, Anon."
"Contractually I'm her manager."
>"And who exactly made you her manager?"
"You did."
>"When?"
"When we hired her, you were very drunk at the time."
>"Drunk deals don't count."
"Bullshit, we decided that drunk deals -do- count last November."

>>30214383
>"Again with November!"
"You fucking owe me for November."
>"What um, what happened in November?"
"Doesn't concern you, Shorts. Now hold Fluttershy's drink so I can shift her fat ass into this vent."
>"You call my ass fat, but you secretly love it."
"Yeah okay."
>"Anon you're blushing."
"Shut up, Shorts."
>"Ugh... Come on Anon, put your back into it!"
"You've seriously put on weight since the last time I picked you up."
>"You'll be doing overtime if you keep this attitude up."
"Actual-overtime where I can get some work done on my stories or office-overtime where you make me get work done on you?"
>"Both. At the same time."
>"So um, are you two like a couple or...?"
"Not on her life."
>"HA! I have higher standards than Anonymous, trust me."
>"But you two kinda... I dunno, bang a lot."
"Yeah but they're hatefucks so they don't count."
>"Hatefucks don't count, Shorts."
"Not even remotely."
>"Not one bit."
"Have you planted the cheese yet?"
>"Yes, bring me down."
>You lower her.
>"Enjoy the view?"
"No."
>"Yes you did."
"Alright yes I did, you fucking harlot."
>"Okay, now we wait."
"What if Rudolph gets it first?"
>"Well if those tranquillisers you gave him did their job, he won't be a problem."
>...
>"Also please give me back my drink, Shorts, thank you."
>"S-sorry ma'am."
>You puff out your cheeks.
"So how long do you think this is gonna--"
>A sudden, violent flash of light steals your vision from you, and a loud ringing fills your ears.
>You drop to the floor, your hands clasped over your eyes.
>Screaming from the other two mares is muted amongst reverberations in your ear drums.
>As the intense pain and disorientation fades, you stagger back to a standing position.
"Wh-what the fuck was that?!"
>Fluttershy growls and scrambles to her hooves.
>"Son of a-- lift me up, now, NOW!"
>You hastily grab Fluttershy and hoist her up to the open vent.
>Her angered voice echoes through the vents.

>>30214391
>"Oh mother fucker-- he took the cheese!"
"What?!"
>"He left a note too!"
>A wad of paper bounces off your forehead.
>Short Storys picks it up and unfurls it, clearing her throat to read in a slow, deliberate voice.
>"Ha ha ha, nice try losers, I have eighty-seven flashbang grenades."
>...
"Well fuck me, he has eight-seven flashbang grenades."
>Fluttershy sighs.
>"Bring me back down..."
>You lower her and set her on the floor.
>For a moment she glowers at the vent, then fixes her frazzled pink mane and attempts to look more commanding.
>"Short Storys, please return to your desk and continue working. Anonymous, my office."
"What, why?"
>"You wore that fragrance again."
"Oh for fucks sake."
>"If you keep wearing it, this is going to keep happening, I don't understand how this is a difficult concept to grasp."

Dohoho.

>>30214395
I get the feeling that fragrance is just sweat.

>>30214446
>sweat

And blood.

And tears.

And booze.

And maybe some of the dried fluids that Fluttershy keeps leaving around the office.

>>30214788
>"You smell like me. I love me. Lets bang"

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>>30214395
>>30214788

Nah, it's full of sand from the sandniggers he chased back in sandnigeria.

>>30214835
>And then sex happened.

>>30214884
That's my favorite part.

>>30214383
I'm pretty sure not concealing your identity with some sort of mask would actually be autistic tho.

The Tripfag.
To the tune of Johnny Cash's "The Gambler"

>About twenty months ago
>On a general bound for nowhere
>I met up with The Tripfag
>We were both too tired to write
>So we took turns a bumpin'
>On the thread through the darkness
>'Til boredom overtook us
>And he commenced to speak

>He said, 'Anon, I've made a life
>Out of writin' rape-fic stories
>And providin' content
>For the lonely lurkin' Anons
>And if you don't mind my sayin'
>I would say your green is weak
>And for one of your finest
>I will give you some advice'

>So I handed him my greentext
>And he critiqued down my last post
>Then he bummed a shitpost
>Then he bummed a (You)
>The thread got deathly quiet
>And his face lost all expression
>He said, 'If you're gonna play the game, boy
>You better learn to play it right (you just lost, by the way)'

>'Cause ev'ry writefag knows
>That the secret to survival
>Is knowin' what the readers want
>And knowin' what they dont
>And ev'ry green's a winner
>Just like ev'ry green's a loser
>And the best that you can hope for
>Is to get a few (You)'s.

>You got to know when to write 'em
>Know when to smite 'em
>Know when to walk away
>Know when to run
>You don't ever count your (You)'s
>While you're writin' up your green
>There'll be time enough for countin'
>When the postin' is done (x2)

>And when he finished speakin'
>He turned back t'ward the pastebin
>Put out his shitpost
>Faded off to sleep
>And somewhere in the darkness
>The tripfag he broke even
>But in his final words
>I found an ace that I could keep

>You got to know when to write 'em
>Know when to smite 'em
>Know when to walk away
>Know when to run
>You don't ever count your (You)'s
>While you're writin' up your green
>There'll be time enough for countin'
>When the postin' is done (x3)

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>>30215779
Neat

>>30214788
Booze? Who said booze, goddammit? *urp*

>>30216362
>fluttershy will never give you a belly dance in the neverending quest to find your fetish

>>30216362
Now I want to see an animated belly-dancing Fluttershy.

>>30216692
I can always dream anon.

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>>30216692
That hurt.

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>>30214861
...What?

>>30175210
>/Holy jumping Jibbers H Crabst on a motherfucking pogo stick, this time she has gone too far./

Fucking hell dude how u get dat from

>>30218413
"Jibbers H Crabst" is from The Oatmeal (Matthew Inman) and the rest is just a mash-up of expressions and unlikely juxtapositions, intended to convey astonishment and disgust. Basic word salad, just add croutons.

>You have a problem, and it’s not necessarily your broken ankle, which is currently in a cast, and will be for two months.
>It’s not a money problem, either.
>Twilight set up an emergency fund for you in your bank (for fun, she claimed) that you were putting money away in, and you’re living off of that now.
>No, you have a rapist problem, the problem specifically being that she’s in your house right now.
>From the couch, which is pretty much the only place you’ve been these past weeks, you watch as she takes her feather duster and goes around your house, carefully dusting your things and humming while she does so.
>God you hate her.
>She showed up this morning wearing a little French maid outfit, and hasn’t left for over four hours.
>Whenever you do tell her to leave, she’ll just make some kind of mess in front of you as an excuse to stay.
>She bends over in front of you, too, while cleaning in an attempt to get you to stare at her rump.
>She yelped the first time because you jabbed her butt cheek with the tip of one of your crutches.
>But she’s learned not to bend over too close to you since, and so now you’re pretty much helpless.
>After all it’s not like you’re going to leave your couch for anything less than an emergency. And she knows this.
>Walking around with your crutches has just become too much of a chore since they put your cast on.
>Hell, when you got out of the hospital, you fell down the steps to your porch three times just trying to get up them.
>You’re kind of afraid of those stairs now.
>So, to move as little as possible, you had Fluttershy move everything you needed close to the couch, like your pillow, and the kitchen trash bucket.
>But now, since you can’t chase Fluttershy away from you anymore, she comes over all of the time, only really leaving every other hour so that she can check on her animals.

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>>30219213
>You look and see that Fluttershy, bending over and with her skirt turned up, is pouring chocolate syrup all over her rump.
>“Oh, look at how dirty I’m getting,” she says whilst wiggling her drippy brown rear your way. “I hope someone nearby can help clean me up.”
>God you’d give anything to be able to whack her with your crutches right now.
Don’t you think it’s about time you left, so you can check on your animals?
>She stops pouring and turns to you, sweetness in her eyes.
>“They can look after themselves for just one itty bitty hour. But who’s going to care for my poor injured little human while momma’s away in that time?”
I can take care of myself. And you’re the one who injured me.
>“Nope. You stepped in a gopher hole.”
Because you stole my spare key and I had to chase after you.
>“Well you shouldn’t have been running in the dark.”
You shouldn’t have tried to get in bed with me while I was still sleeping!
>“You look so peaceful and sexy when you sleep,” she says wistfully. “Anyway, are you going to lick my flanks, or . . .?”
No.
>But feeling hungry, you send Fluttershy out to do some shopping for you.
>She does all right in this, except when she buys things purely to try and fetishize them later, like chocolate syrup.
>She leaves, saying she’ll be back in half an hour.
>You relish in the peace of solitude when she leaves, for about five minutes anyway.
>Unfortunately, ever since you broke your ankle, you’ve become much more prone to boredom.
>Having Fluttershy around alleviates it somewhat but mostly you’re just looking for anything to do.
>Going out is a pain with this cast on. You move way too slow on your crutches to really get anywhere, so you never go anywhere.
>And since there’s nothing to do at home, you pretty much feel like a prisoner under house arrest, with Fluttershy being your occasional visitor.
>The only things you really look forward to doing anymore are eating and sleeping.

>>30219228
>Ever since you got injured, you’ve found that you can snack and nap a day away like no one else.
>But when that isn’t enough and you still feel bored, you always pull out your ace in the hole, and start masturbating.
>These are all good things to do, but even masturbating, after depending on it every day for entertainment, is starting to lose its fun.
>Besides that, you can hardly shower with this cast on.
>And you can only clean your own spunk off of your belly by wiping it with your hand so many times before the shame pushes you to start reaching down for the bleach whenever you go to the sink to wash yourself.
>Finally, when you wake up from your fifth morning nap of the day, you hear Fluttershy knocking on the door.
>She just lets herself in these days rather than wait for you to answer.
>You think that she only knocks first out of habit.
>Fidgeting on the couch, you rub your sore neck and judge that she must’ve been gone for hours, definitely not the half hour she said she’d take.
You’re late, you say to her.
>“I’m sorry,” she says.
>She shuts the door behind her and takes her bags over to the coffee table in front of you.
>“I shopped for you, and had to run some other errands. Then I went to check on the critters before coming back.”
>No wonder she took so long.
>You look at the clock.
>She’s been gone for only forty five minutes.
>You sigh deeply, knowing that this is going to be another very long day.
>“I want to show you something I brought back,” she says.
Is it food? If it’s anything else, I don’t care.
>“It’s not food,” she says to you, with a straight face, beaming even.
But I’m hungry, dammit.
>“It’s something special,” she says. “Something which I think might help get your blood flowing.”
>You catch in her eye a certain twinkle that you’ve seen before in her whenever you used to answer your door in the morning.

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>>30219240
>A feeling of dread falls into your stomach when she reaches into one of the bags, pulls out a brown paper wrapper, and then lays it on your lap.
>She looks away from your wary expression as color rises to her heated cheeks.
>“It was actually kind of awkward for me to get this for you. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with it.”
>You’re not thrilled to hear that Fluttershy, the same mare that once relieved herself on your carpet to see if it was your fetish (twice), just gave you something she considers to be beyond her comfort zone.
>“But I thought it would help you. So go on,” she says, waving a hoof encouragingly your way. “Go on and see what’s inside.”
>She looks hopefully at you, gauging your reaction, as you reach into the wrapper and grab what feels like a bunch of magazines.
>You smile briefly, thinking she might have gotten you something to read.
>Then you pull the small stack out, and the mare on the first cover you see is dripping wet all over as she tickles herself with a riding crop on her—
What the fuck! you say as the magazines fly out of your raised hands and float around the room like doves released during a ceremony.
>Fluttershy flies round and gathers them up, placing them on the table in a neat stack that you refuse to look at.
>“You didn’t like your surprise?”
That was pony porn, Fluttershy.
>“I know,” she says. “But I want you to look at them, and then masturbate.”
No way. I don’t like ponies. I’ve been very clear on this point with you before.
>“But if you would just look, I’m sure that you could find something in it that you would like.”
And then you could exploit that in order to get me to like you. Is that it?
>She shrinks back at this accusation.
>“No,” she says. “Well, maybe, eventually, yes. But we could start slow and paste my head onto the pictures that you like best first.”
>You scowl at her sheepish, cloying grin.
>“Baby steps.”

>>30219256
I don’t want the pony porn, and I think you should leave now.
>“Are you sure? What are you going to eat?”
Did you buy peanut butter?
>She nods. You take your spoon out of your pocket.
Then I can take care of eating.
>“Okay,” she says. “But I’m going to leave these magazines here for you.”
Goddammit, no. I said I didn’t want them.
>But she ignores you and rushes for the door.
>“Read the articles in them at least,” she says before shutting the door behind her. “I’ll be back soon to check on you.”
>You glare at the door for a while before reaching for the peanut butter.
>It’s chunky.
>You wanted smooth.
Fucking Fluttershy.

>After finishing half the jar of peanut butter, you decide to take a nap.
>When you wake up, you look out the window and, judging from the position the sun is in now, you feel that you’ve accomplished a grand feat of passing time.
>Check the time.
>It’s only been twenty minutes since Fluttershy left.
Motherfucker, you groan.
>You crash back against the couch and, leaning your head back, stare up into the void of ceiling emptily.
I’m so bored, you mutter to yourself.
>You start wondering when Fluttershy is going to come back.
>Then your mind turns to those magazines.
>You would never tug yourself to them, but Fluttershy did say they had articles.
>And articles involve reading, and reading passes time.
>You sit up straight and look at the tempting stack.
>No; no, if Fluttershy even sees you looking at them then you’ll never stop being bothered about it by her.
>You can hear her voice now: “Did you read them? Oh, you read them. I can tell. Describe what you read to me. I want you to make me feel really hot in my seat.”
No way.
>You crash back on the couch.
>Absentmindedly, you feel your fingers moving down to your bulge, but you know that it’s no use.

>>30219269
>You couldn’t get a cockstand if you even tried right now.
>All you’re going to do is end up straining your groin, or bring on some kind of arthritic attack in your hand.
>Sitting up, you look for something to do, but all you see are the magazines.
>You check the clock again. Thirty minutes to the hour. She won’t be back soon.
>And, you reason, there’s no need to fear looking at the magazines if you feel you can’t get a boner anyway.
Am I really going to read the articles written in a pony porn magazine?
>Your hand answers that for you as it drags your ass up to the edge of the couch and reaches for the stack.
>Looking at the one on top, you see that it’s the one that had that wet mare with the riding crop on the cover.
>The name of the magazine is Giddy Up.
Nasty. I don’t want to see that again.
>You flip the magazine over, only to find on the back that she now has the riding crop stuck in—
Well that didn’t work, you say as you toss the mag over your shoulder and into the trash.
>You move through the stack, encountering magazines similar to Giddy Up, before reaching one on the bottom.
>It has a monstrously large stallion on the cover and is called Stable Stud Serial Magazine.
>. . . After a moment, you wrinkle your brow.
>Is this gay porn?
>Did Fluttershy buy you gay porn?
>You grab it and flip to a random page, a two page spread, and stare in amazement at what you see.
Wow . . . that’s huge—ugh, what am I saying!
>You snap the magazine shut for a while.
>And then, remembering your boredom, you slowly open the magazine back up, to the first page, so you can scan the table of contents for the articles.
>And you find them. And, well, you read them, all of them; and they weren’t really all that great.
>But now at least you know that, if you wear visibly an orange bandana in certain bars, you’re sending a signal to other gay stallions that’s effectively saying “I’m up for anything tonight fellas!”

>>30219282
Why would I ever need to know that? I had to flip through over twenty pages of big stallion cock just so that I could know that!
>You toss the magazine sloppily onto the top of the pile.
Fucking Fluttershy, buying me this stupid shit.
>You lean back into the couch and stare at the ceiling for a while.
>After sulking for a bit, you finally decide to fish Giddy Up out of the trash bin.
All right Mrs. Riding Crop, let’s see if you’re any better.
>After wiping the garbage off of the magazine, you open it.
>And then, once you get started, something happens to you.
>Unlike the stallion magazine, the more you read this one, the more pages you turn, the more mares you see pictured with warm open bodies and enchanting comely eyes, all presented for you, the more your curiosity rises.
>Halfway through it, you realize that you could not put this magazine down even if Fluttershy walked in and suddenly announced she was in heat.
>Before you know it, your hand has found its way back to your bulge, but this time you feel its quivering movement grazing slightly against your fingertips.
>You turn more pages and feel even more excited.
>Before you can question it, you’re unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down to your knees so that you can stroke and feel more freely.
>All questions of right and wrong have been whipped away by Mrs. Riding Crop, and all that remains is the pleasure principle.
>She calls and you come in answer.
>You lean back in the couch, but in ecstasy as a shameless damp spot sticks up onto the white of your briefs.
>Your hands are limp at your sides, one of them lightly holding onto Giddy Up as your eyes roll up.
Oh, my God.
>There’s a knock at the door.
>You sit up, watch as the doorknob begins to turn, and then you look down at yourself.
Oh my God.
>You toss Giddy Up back into the trash and have just enough time to pull your pants back up to your waist before Fluttershy enters.

>>30219292
>The swift movements made your ankle flare up in pain, and your face was already flushed and you were breathing heavily, but you put on a straight face so that Fluttershy wouldn’t notice anything odd.
>She closes the door, turns around, and takes one look at you.
>Immediately she frowns.
>“Is something wrong?”
>Great job hiding your true feelings, John Wayne would be proud of you.
Oh, I just . . . No. Nothing. What?
>“Let momma come check.”
>She trots over to you, a concerned look on her face.
>You watch warily as she gets nearer and nearer, before she bends down by your legs, and picks up your spoon off of the floor.
>“You dropped your spoon,” she says. “Poor baby. I’ll bet you were trying to get it this whole time so you could eat, weren’t you?”
>You stare at the spoon. There are tracks of peanut butter stuck to it by your saliva, and hair from the carpet stuck to those tracks.
Yes, you say with firm conviction. Yes, I was feeling very hungry right now. And nothing else.
>“Well momma’s here now, and she’ll gladly make you some yummy human food.”
>Fluttershy’s face then pinches up and she makes a show of sniffing in your direction.
>“You smell odd today,” she says, with a judgmental look.
>Is she smelling your cum?
>She closes her eyes and inhales deeply some more, quick and rapid smells let out in rhythmic succession.
>“But I think it’s a familiar smell . . .” she says, smacking her lips.
>She’s totally smelling your cum. Damn those horse hooters, those old olfactory instruments!
Of course I smell odd, you say shortly. I haven’t showered in weeks. I’m in a cast and I smell like pee.
>She scrunches her muzzle, and then gives you a probing stare.
>Unperturbed, you say plainly:
Have you ever met someone who was in a cast but didn’t smell like pee?
>She thinks for a second.
>“No,” she says slowly. “No, I guess I haven’t.”
>Knew it. It’s impossible as far as you know.

>>30219298
>Fluttershy shrugs and steps away from you, which gives you good time to catch your breath.
>“So what do you want to eat?” she asks. “If food was your fetish, which food would you most want to rut right now?”
First you smell me, and then you ask me a question like that. You’ve only been here a minute and I already think you’re being weirder than usual.
>“Is me being weird your fetish?”
You wish it was that easy.
>“Did you read the magazines?”
>Even though you were expecting the question, your heart still skips a beat.
No, of course not. I told you to take them back with you when you left, but you didn’t listen to me as usual.
>You were sure she would respond, but instead she’s silent, and worst of all is that she’s standing still by the coffee table, staring down at the magazines.
>She looks at them, and then, with judging eyes, she turns to look at you, followed by her ears folding.
>Worried that she might’ve found out about Giddy Up, you put a harsh front in your voice, saying:
What?
>She doesn’t shrink away, though. She says slowly:
>“Um . . . are you sure that you didn’t read one in particular?”
>Look down and realize she’s talking about the gay one, which you had left on top of the pile.
>Slowly you raise your eyes to Fluttershy, who is looking at you very carefully, as though she were afraid that whatever she would say next would somehow offend you and your newfound delicate sensibilities.
This is a misunderstanding.
>She hums in an unconvinced way.
>Your face begins burning and you realize that you look incredibly flustered and suspicious right now.
No, I’m serious. Okay, yeah, I did read the articles, and they were stupid and I blame you for that. But that’s it.
>“Okay,” she says, raising her hooves defensively. “Okay, I get it. It’s okay. Please don’t be upset. I’ll just go make you something to eat now.”

>>30219305
Yeah, you do that. I didn’t look at your gay porn. Why’d you even buy that stupid magazine anyway?
>Fluttershy walks towards the kitchen, but stops halfway, coming to rest by the arm of the couch.
>With bedroom eyes and a shrewd smile she turns slowly towards you.
What?
>“Nothing,” she says. “But did you know that, if I was born a stallion, my parents said they would’ve named me Butterscotch?”
>She takes a step forward.
>“Do you, um, like that thought at all?”
Get the fuck out, Fluttershy.
>Her ears fold at your harsh words, but her smile stays.
>“You need time,” she says, nodding. “I understand.”
>She walks slowly past you, watching you carefully with anxious eyes, until she reaches the door.
>She doesn’t leave though, just stops. What is she trying to do?
>Then she turns around quickly, trots to the coffee table, grabs the stallion magazine—and jumps back instinctively as though you had tried to grab her from the couch—and runs out the door.
>Later on she brought back the magazine, but with pictures of her head pasted over the faces of every stallion in it.

>You have become addicted to pony porn.
>Or at least, you’ve become addicted to the small stack of pony porn that you have currently.
>The pages have a strange enchantment on you, never failing to make you excited, and you relish the hours when Fluttershy is gone and you can be alone with yourself and with your pictures.
>But now, after a week has passed, the wrinkled pages are starting to turn stale to you.
>The only exciting thing that was in your life is slowly losing both its vigor and the potent intensity that had once stirred so effortlessly your nerve’s glowing embers.
>The desire is still there in you, but the means to grasp it are now old and weak.
>You watch eagerly from the edge of the couch, your heartbeat going quickly and steadily in excited rhythm, the clock on the mantle.

>>30219318
>It’s just above Fluttershy, who is dressed up in black leather with metal studs on it and is dancing suggestively for you.
>She bends forward and shakes her rump, dressed in ass-less chaps, in the air, singing softly:
>~“You can call me Butterscotch.”
>~“And I can be your little twink boyfriend.”
>She actually has a really nice voice.
>You don’t think Fluttershy actually believes you’re gay, though, but she’s certainly been doing a lot gay shit like this ever since she got the idea in her head.
>You have a closet full of dildos of all shapes and sizes and colors now thanks to her, and you don’t know what you’re going to do with them once you’re better.
>Can you recycle them? Or maybe there’s a place you can donate them to, like a charity or something.
>But that’s later. Currently the time is five to the hour.
>Soon she’ll be gone, and you’ll have an hour to complete your oncoming adventure.
>Today you are going to go out of the house, find out where Fluttershy got that pony porn, and then buy enough of it so that you can spend the rest of your time sitting around with this cast on in ecstasy.
>And most importantly, this is a stealth mission.
>You cannot let anyone know about your addiction.
>For if they ever knew, and told Fluttershy, she would then know that you were into ponies and she would never ever leave you alone again, even once this cast is gone.
>“So,” says Fluttershy, turning around and training you with seductive eyes, “do you feel gay for me yet?”
Someone really needs to explain to you how homosexuality works.
>Sighing, she strips her leather outfit off.
>Then, bringing you a jar of peanut butter, she says:
>“Here’s lunch. I have to go for a little while. But will you promise to think of me while I’m gone?”
>Putting down the peanut butter and thinking of the mission at hand, you say:
For once, Fluttershy, I can promise that I will think about you.

>>30219325
>“Yay! It must’ve been the leather that did it for you, right?”
You can go now.
>She leaves. You wait for a minute, just to make sure she’s really gone.
>Then, reaching over the arm of your couch, you pick up your crutches and, using them as support, lift yourself up of the couch with your wobbly arms.
>For the first time in weeks, your back meets air, and you can feel the wretched stink of your sour unwashed body crawling in your nose.
>Lifting your cast foot and keeping it up at an angle, you stick up the crutches underneath your shoulders and you hobble your way over to the mantle so you can grab your wallet.
>You reach for the wallet, and the crutch falls out from under your raised arm.
>Holding onto the other for balance, you bend down with your one good leg to pick it up, and the other crutch slips out of your hand.
>Trying to grab it in midair, you fall backwards onto the floor with a hollow thud.
>Your head buzzing, you decide to just stare up at the ceiling for a while before you try to get up and get yourself killed again.
>The doctor told you that you had to practice using your crutches so it’d be easier for you to move around, but of course you never did do that.
>Now you’re going to have to use them to move yourself around town, possibly all over town, to find something you can ask no one about and somehow get back to the house, all in under an hour.
If this was for anything less than porn, I’d have to give up right about now.
>You crawl your way up, brining your crutches with you, pull down your wallet, and then hobble over to your door, stumbling back when you do finally manage to open it.
>After crossing the threshold and closing the door behind you, you turn to meet your nemesis: the stairs.
>They’re old wooden stairs, rough looking, with the browned nails visible on the surface, and with the kind of downward slope at the lip of them that comes with years of being stepped and pushed off on.

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>>30219336
>Even without a cast on your foot, they feel like the kind of stairs that can slip out from under you.
>Very carefully, you step with your crutches down the stairs, taking them one at a time: one: two: three times and done.
>Breathing a sigh of relief, you start hobbling down the road to Main Street, swaying on your awkward crutches and moving in neutral alongside the swift and deft legs of the ponies passing you by.
>Looking up you see, hanging over a couple rows of roofs, the crystal star of Twilight’s castle silhouetted in the sky against the white sun.
>You have to know exactly where it is you’re going to get this porn if you want to make it back in time, and maybe Twilight can help with that.
>It takes you nearly ten minutes to travel the two blocks necessary, and you’re sweating all over your face and down your collar by the time you find Twilight.
>She’s standing at the top of her own front steps.
Hey, Twilight.
>“Hello,” she says. “It’s good to see you out and about for a change.”
>You stand at the foot of her steps, waiting. Eventually she comes down herself to meet you.
>“So what brings you outside?”
>Now just how exactly does someone go about asking their friend where the nearest place to get porn is, without letting on that you actually want to get porn?
Twilight, I was wondering if you knew where Fluttershy got all of her, well, I guess you’d call them gifts, for me.
>Twilight loses her smile and looks at you oddly. You act oblivious and continue:
Is there a store in town, or what?
>“Yeah . . .” she says slowly, looking away from you.
Do you know it?
>“I’ve never been there personally,” she says, shifting her weight uneasily between her legs. “But it’s called Blazing Saddles. And I only know that because of Fluttershy.”
Great. Where is that exactly?

>>30219346
“Well,” she says, “I’ll tell you—because Fluttershy told me once and I just happen to know it. But first I want to know—you don’t like ponies, I thought. Why do you want to go there?”
>You’ve entered the minefield now.
>You can’t let Twilight, or any of Fluttershy’s friends really, know that you want to get porn because they’ll definitely feel inclined to tell her about that.
>You need an excuse.
Twilight, Fluttershy’s recently got it in her mind that I’m gay, or bisexual, or something or other.
>“Oh,” Twilight says, folding her ears. “. . . Okay then.”
So I’ve got all these dildos she’s given me, and I don’t know what to do with them. I thought I’d return them to wherever she got them and get some cash back.
>“I don’t mean to judge,” she says, “but isn’t it kind of rude to treat somepony’s gift that way?”
Well, if you really feel that way I could always give them to you.
>Twilight scrunches her muzzle.
Or maybe I should just return them.
>“Well wait a second here,” she says, raising an eyebrow at you. “Fluttershy included the receipts with her gifts?”
>You have no idea, but you lie.
Yeah. She did.
>Twilight hums in a certain way.
>After a while, she says:
>“Anyway, I’ll tell you where Blazing Saddles is.”
>She tells you, and it’s only about four blocks away from where you are.
>In your present state, it should only take you a couple hours to get there and back to your house—so you’re fucked.
Goddammit, you mutter as you hobble along down the road as fast as you can.
>You’re not going to make it back in time at this rate, and Fluttershy will want to know why you left at all if she catches you.
>You could lie to her, though.
>If she catches you, you could just hide the porn somewhere and tell her that you got abducted by aliens after she left.
>She might believe that. She’s pretty gullible, and you are an alien yourself here after all.

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>>30219357
>Then again if you do go with that, she’s going to want to know all about the experiments, like whether they probed you or not.
>And you can’t lie and say that you weren’t experimented on when you were abducted. No one would believe that.
Fucking aliens.
>“What was that?”
>You turn and see Applejack, who is regarding you warily.
I was just thinking about something.
>“Uh huh,” she says. “To yourself?”
Yeah.
>“Out loud?”
I guess so.
>“No offense,” she says, “but I think maybe spending all of your time cooped up inside, with Fluttershy as your only company, isn’t doing you right.”
>She awkwardly tips her hat to you.
>“But it’s nice to see you outside,” she says in parting.
>She goes down an alleyway and approaches an empty long wood cart, and then starts hitching herself up to it.
Hey, Applejack! you say, hobbling quickly in her direction.
>Later you’re lying in the back of her cart, taking in the bumps and humps of the road as they beat your head against the wood.
>“Boy, you’re heavy,” Applejack wheezes from up front. “Having you in this cart is like bringing in a dozen barrels of apples.”
Yeah, I might’ve put on a few extra pounds.
>“Tons, you mean. What is Fluttershy feeding you?”
I think I’ve eaten my body weight in peanut butter over these past few weeks.
>Sitting up, you watch the street until, noticing a dark wooden sign hanging out front of a store that says Blazing Saddles, you ask Applejack to stop the cart.
>You look closer at the sign.
>It has two ponies in silhouette, a mare and a stallion, facing away from each other but kept close together by their tails, which are intertwined with each other.
>The windows are curtained, but there’s a sign on the door that says they’re open and that no children are allowed inside.
Applejack, this is my stop.
>You scoot yourself off of the cart, feeling good about how much time getting this ride has saved you.

>>30215818
Courage.

>>30219370
>Then you notice that Applejack is looking over her shoulder at you strangely.
>“Hang on a sec here.”
>Pointing towards Blazing Saddles with her eyes, she asks:
>“Are you going in there?”
>You groan inwardly.
Kind of.
>“Blazing Saddles,” she says to herself; then, to you, with near amazement, “You and Blazing Saddles?”
Look, it’s not what you think.
>You try to explain to Applejack that you just want to return some of Fluttershy’s gifts to you.
>Applejack listens to you, seemingly without judgement, but her face is rigidly plain and the short words she does say, to show you she’s listening, have undertones of distraction that sink in your ears.
>You can’t see it, but you think that she’s smirking at you inside.
>Moreover, you feel she’s trying to repress some kind of emotional reaction that wants to spill out from her mind and be seen and heard.
>Finally, when you stop speaking, she asks, with clear hint of restraint in her voice:
>“So, uh, have you ever actually been in Blazing Saddles before?”
>You answer slowly:
No, I haven’t.
>“Uh huh,” she says, eager sounding. “And has Fluttershy ever told you about—”
>Applejack, trying to hold back laughter all of a sudden, snorts involuntarily before blocking her mouth with her hoof.
>So hard she’s suppressing her outburst that you can see the slight trembling of the bones in her chest.
What is it? What’s so fucking funny?
>“Nothing,” Applejack says, doubled over and waving a dismissive hoof your way. “I mean you’ll find out, sugar cube.”
Find out what?
>“Have a good time in Blazing Saddles.”
>She looks from you to the sign again, and then her high laughter begins bucking around in the air and she trots quickly away with the cart.
>Annoyed in thought, you watch the empty street where she went for a little while.
>What the heck was that all about? Why was she laughing? Has she been in there before? What does she know that you don’t?
Fucking Applejack.

>>30219386
>You look again at the sign, feeling confused, a bit anxious, and almost reluctant to enter now.
Then again, I am already here.
>There’s no need to feel awkward. You just have to remember that you’re another customer to them, nothing more.
>Just act inconspicuous.
>You pull the door open and try to come in swiftly, but it slams into you halfway, pinning you between it and the frame.
>Then, pulling yourself and your clattering crutches through, you come up too quickly and hit your head hollowly on the ceiling.
>Rubbing the back of your bowed head, you peek out from under your brow and take survey of the rows of shelved boxes, all long and laying vertically, all with long colorful objects imaged lengthwise on their sides.
>There are mannequins around the store, all of them dressed in revealing outfits made from materials ranging from leather to feathers to the smoothest softly-colored see-through silk.
>The lights are not dim, as you thought they would be, and the walls are the color that oozing ketchup has in fast food advertisements.
>Any shameful atmosphere that you imagined would have permeated the air here, like dust in an empty attic, and which you feared would have inhibited you in your quest was trounced by the feelings of familiarity from that shopping instinct—of the neatness and invitingness of the clearly displayed product that your eye had been trained to see for years—awakening and taking over your brain.
>Now if only the few ponies that were in here with you would stop staring at you, you’d be aces.
>You hobble self-consciously up to the counter, taking stock of the rows of videos resting on metal floor shelves on the way.
>Just then, coming out from a cover of beads hanging in front of the entrance to a room in the back, was a stout brown stallion with a quick, showy step.
>His chestnut mane is long and braided, resting on his shoulder, and above his thin goatee he’s wearing cheap light-gold sunglasses with honey-colored lenses.

File: Talk to me.png (705KB, 2500x2200px) Image search: [Google]

705KB, 2500x2200px

>"Tell me about your dreams, Anon..."
"..."
>"Tell me about your deepest, darkest, naughtiest desires..."
"..."
>"Tell me about-"
"Piss off."
>"Never."
>It's just going to be one of those days, I guess...

>>30219397
>Looking down at the floor as though he was deep in thought, he moves quickly to the counter and ducks under it, seemingly ignoring you.
>You can hear him muttering about something under his breath.
Um, excuse me, sir?
>“Yeah, I’ll be right with you,” he says. “You know what you want?”
Kind of.
>He sniffs shortly, and rises above the counter for a quick look at you.
>Then he goes back down before, following a large wooden thud from his head jumping up from under, he rises again, welt-headed, to peer shocked over his glasses at you.
>“I know you!” he says, smiling suddenly.
>You watch frozenly as, with sudden personal animation, he trots round the front desk and, peeling your hand off of one of your crutches, begins shaking vigorously your limp wrist with his formal hoof (that you don’t know where has just been).
>Yeah, you don’t know this guy, but thanks to him you can feel that those ponies that were staring at you earlier are definitely doing so again.
>There are certainly those in this universe who can seek out their porn in peace, but it seems as though that will just never get to be your destiny in this lifetime.
I don’t think we’ve met before.
>“Well I don’t know you know you, you know?” he says. “But I’ve heard all about you before.”
You have?
>“Oh yeah,” he says flippantly. “Tons of times.”
>He lets go of your hand and knocks one of your crutches lightly.
>“I know how you got injured,” he says. “I heard the whole story right after it happened.”
>These words enter your perplexed mind and slowly the lead of the store keeper’s loutish familiarity knocks a rude reality into view of your brow, wrinkling in frustration.
Fucking Fluttershy, you say to yourself.
>“Our best customer,” says the stallion. “She’s the one that told me you were chasing after her. And how, after you broke your ankle, she carried you all the way to the hospital.”

>>30219410
>Well actually you limped, sometimes crawled, for six blocks, and Fluttershy wouldn’t stop crying and fretting over you the entire time, right in your ear too.
>She did try to grab you a couple times, so she could help support you while you limped, but she kept touching you in places off limits whenever she felt you were slipping out of her grasp, which was often.
>You didn’t even reach the hospital until it was dawn and your ankle had swelled to the size and color of an overripe grapefruit.
>“Yeah, she’s a great girl,” he says.
>He looks admiringly up at you.
>“Your life sounds wild, my man.”
You can have it.
>Ignoring this, he goes back behind the counter.
>“So what can I do for you, my man?”
>Leaning forward, you say secretively:
I was hoping to buy some magazines.
>“Well we certainly got porn of all kinds here,” he says, with a voice happy and indiscrete in volume.
>As he smiles at you so helpfully, you suppress the urge to wince and smile, too, forcedly.
That’s good. I’d like to see some.
>“Got you covered, my man. Just give me one second.”
>He moves quickly past the rattling beads, and you watch hoping he’ll come back and actually ask you what you want this time.
>You hear someone approach the counter, stopping in your blind spot.
>Looking slightly round your shoulder, you see next to you a silver earth pony, with violet eyes and a black ballpoint pen cutie mark, waiting patiently next to you.
>She’s got something from here under her arm, but she catches you trying to peek at it.
>“Hello,” she says politely.
Hi there, you say pretending that the exchange of pleasantries was what you were after.
>Turning back round to end it, she interrupts:
>“Isn’t this a nice place?”
I guess. Sure.
>She giggles silently and turns her head to regard you shrewdly.
>“You don’t come here often, do you?”
>Is this the general direction that all small talk done between customers in sex shops goes?

>>30219427
>The beads rattle. You look forward.
>“My man, I just got the newest of your favorite in today,” says the stallion, slapping the stapled paper down on the counter.
>You recognize the title of Stable Stud instantly.
>“Oh, good choice,” says the mare.
That is not my favorite, you say to the stallion severely.
>“Hey, no worries,” he says, still smiling, as he moves the magazine below the counter. “I’ll take care of you, as soon as I help the lady behind you.”
>“What a gentlecolt,” the mare says, stepping forward. “Cause I got a meeting in thirty that I need to start preparing for.”
>He rings her up, she runs her card, and soon she leaves, her brand new anal vibrator still boxed under her arm.
>She could’ve got a bag, too, but chose not to.
>“Yeah, she’s crazy about anal and wants the whole world to know it,” he says. “My kind of mare.”
Wonderful, you say ironically. Oh, and I’m not gay, by the way. I just want some good old, regular, mare-centered pony porn.
>“We got that in all shapes, sizes, styles and series, my man. Anything you want in particular?”
Giddy Up, friendo.
>He goes in back and eventually returns with three different copies of the promised gold you desire, one of them being brand new.
>He goes on at length about them as he rings you up, saying which issues he considers to be classics and which weren’t very good and etc.
>“You’re all set then,” he says, after you pay.
>Gathering them up in a pile, he slides the three magazines across the counter to you.
Yeah, I don’t really want anyone to see me with these.
>“Don’t worry,” he says. “We got non-distinguished black plastic bags for that.”
>After bagging your magazines, he gives you the bag, saying:
>“Hey, I hope you come in again sometime. The rest of the staff would totally love to actually meet you for a change, rather than hear about you.”
That reminds me, Fluttershy can’t know that I was in here today.