Nightly Twilight Thread

>>30050443
Mary sue hotcakes

Second for her character never recovered after season 3

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>nightly threads now last for 10 days

>>30050443
Aww

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>>30050477
You mean 10 nights.

>>30050443
We're off to a good start with rampant shitposting

I might post a short story soon, like I promised.

>>30050639
Please do it.

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>>30050639
I hope it has nothing to do with Shadowlock because I have no idea who the fuck that is.

>>30050990
Same. Idk what people were ranting about last thread at the end.

>>30050990
>>30050999
It's some dude from the comics, apparently someone still reads those.

>>30050990
Shadowlock is an antagonist from the latest comic arc, he wanted to destroy books and thus wipe out all historical records of his monstrous, evil relative, which royally pissed off Twilight. However, instead of pursuing revenge Twi wanted to have a talk with him. After several failed attempts the two finally talk and Twi understands his motivations and resolves the conflict by telling him how important history is and how much she values it and at the same time makes me love her even more because I'm a huge nerd who shitposts on /his/. People ship the two because who the hell knows.

It was a pretty decent arc, actually. Surprising after so many bad ones.

>>30051069
>People ship the two because who the hell knows.
They have a lot of interesting interactions and shot each other some bedroom eyes in a few scenes

>>30051086
you're a funny guy

>>30051100
Didn't you know, anon, if characters look at each other they're basically fucking already. That's how it works.

>>30051086
Thanks for being honest, at least

>>30051119
If pony heat is anywhere near to how /mlp/ paints it, then I wouldn't be surprised by this at all.

>>30051181
It works like that only when it's a human who's near the mare during heat.

t. /mlp/ pony heat expert

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>>30051231
Oh yeah, I completely forgot they're not attracted to members of their own species. It'd be so silly if they were. I'm so silly. Good point.

This is my first attempt at writing a Twi story, thought I'd share it with fellow twifags. And no, it's not greentext because I don't like it.

--- Part 1 ---

A soft seat under you, a cup of your favourite drink on a table next to you and a well-written book about the Equestrian migration period in your hands. There was no way you didn't feel happy.

Except, there was.

The armchair next to you was empty.

A book about humanity's agricultural revolution you had brought lied on the table next to a warm cup of tea, unopened. Twilight had promised to read with you.

Furrows formed on your forehead as you lowered the book. What was taking her so long? She had a strict schedule that she followed to a tee as much as possible. Had something happened? What if she had hurt herself? Or maybe--

The sound of hesitant hoofsteps came from the doorway and you snapped out of your thoughts. Wrinkles vanished from your forehead as you recognized her gait.

She entered, a nervous expression on her face and some glowing, folded papers floating in front of her.

"There you are, amethyst-eyes," you said, a mix of relief and frustration in your voice. "Where were you? I was getting worried!"

"I just took these papers from my lab."

"You're fifteen minutes late, not one or two. Give me a better explanation, miss."

"And, uh, wondered for a while if I really should ask this from you." She stopped next to your chair instead of sitting down on her own seat.

Your brows tensed as you closed your book and put it aside. "What is it, Twily?"

"Um, Anon, I've got a request for you." She rubbed her foreleg anxiously and couldn't maintain eye contact for long.

"A request? Please, elaborate."

"Just one thing I want you to do." Judging by her tense expression, her cheeks were red underneath her coat. "Will you promise to not call it weird?"

"Promise."

>>30051285
Good. Greentext is shit. inb4 this turns out to be greentext-tier shit too.

>>30051306
it probably will

>>30051285
--- Part 2 ---
"Also, don't tell anyone."

"You can trust me, I'm the polar opposite of a blabber-mouth."

"Good. Also, don't laugh."

"Did I laugh when Rainbow Dash showed me those images of you dancing?"

"Uh, no, you didn't."

"Nope, I said it was adorable and foiled her plans. Go ahead, Twily, tell me what do you want me to do. I won't judge."

"Okay. Ahem." She gulped,
unfolded the papers and levitated them closer to you.

Your eyes widened a little as you scanned them. There were tables, illustrations, scribbles and numbers, as well as names of erogenous zones and the words "temperature in genital area", "heart rate" and "blood pressure".

"After we mated last night, I wanted to optimize my sexual experience, so I, uh, studied and experimented a little to see what areas give most pleasure when stimulated. You can see the results here."

You frowned, but not too hard. No need to make her feel even more anxious. "Alright..."

Your frown was too deep, unfortunately. She tried a smile but her eyes remained nervous. "It's totally normal to do that, right? All mares do it! Haha!"

You gently put the palm of your hand on her shoulder. "Twi, remember what I said. I won't judge."

Some of the nervousness dissipated. "Thanks, Anon. So, uh, I've done it for myself, but I also wanted to do it to you, so you'd enjoy copulation more as well."

"That's real sweet of you."

"So you... wanna do this?"

"Of course."

"And you don't think it's really weird?"

"I promised not to call it such."

"Anon, be honest," she demanded.

You sighed and caressed her cheek. "Yes, it's a little weird. But if you weren't a little weird, I wouldn't love you nearly as much."

She smiled again, genuinely this time. "I assure you won't regret this. But I have to say, during the experiment, I'm gonna need to--"

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>>30051285
>lied on the table
Come on. You can do better.

>>30051355
come on, don't be such a nitpicker

>>30051349

--- Part 3 ---

"--use a thermal vision spell and a heart rate monitor. I know. Shame you can't easily measure my endorfin levels for more accurate results."

She lifted a mildly impressed eyebrow. Usually she had to explain everything to others, but you were an exception. Like her, you were educated and knowledgeable, although not as much.

This time her smile was wide and warm. She remembered one of the reasons why she loved you.

"When and where will we conduct the experiment?" you asked as you stood up.

"When you feel like it, in my lab."

"Sweetheart, what did I tell you about human sexuality?"

She rubbed her chin in thought. "Didn't you say it was one of the reasons why your species became the dominant one on your planet?"

"Eeeexactly. That means I'm ready whenever you are."

"Oh, great! But, uh, there's just one problem."

"What?"

"While I had an instrument to, how do I say it, stimulate my most sensitive parts, I don't really have one for you."

"What's under your tail?"

"Um, what do you mean?"

You pulled up a corner of your mouth. "You know exactly what I mean."

"You mean-- oh." This time you could almost see her cheeks blushing below the coat.

"We can see if the results differ from those of your simulation."

"I think I'd like that," she said and bit her lower lip. "I guess I can make notes while we're, um, making love."

"And they say science is boring."

She giggled. Having folded her papers again, she grasped your hand with her hoof and pulled it as she headed towards the doorway with quick and long steps. "Come on, Anon, let's go!" she said in an excited tone.

You followed, as eager as her.

---

That's all, folks. Just a cute little fic I farted out in an hour or so. I can continue it if you want, though.

>>30051285
>>30051349
>>30051388
>wrighting green without using green
Is this a new level of autism?

>>30051411
*writing

>>30051411
>caring this much about formatting

>>30051411
are you asking that about yourself? besides, that's how lorelove writes, newfag

>>30051388
I can probably deal with your ESL-ish grammar and phrasing, but I wouldn't read bad clop. So if it's not bad, by all means proceed.

>>30051411
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism
>Characteristics
>Sameness: Resistance to change; for example, insisting that writing not deviate from one's preferred formatting.

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>>30051590
Majestic horse.

>>30051978
Too bad horses don't like to lie on their backs for too long.

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>>30052067
I would let big horsy Twilight be on top.

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How would you make Twilight feel special? What would you do for her that would really capture her heart and show your feelings to her?

>>30052636
Worship her hooves

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>>30051355
In his defense, lay/lie is the most confusing pair of irregular verbs in English.

The past tense of lie is lay and the past tense of lay is laid, while the past participle of lay is laid and the past participle of lie is lain.

>I lay Twilight on the bed and lie beside her. Yesterday I did the same thing: I laid Twilight on the bed and lay beside her. In fact, every night I have laid Twilight on the bed and lain beside her.

>>30051355
In my defence, I'm not a native speaker of english.

>>30053062
Thanks a lot. "Lie" is a very confusing verb.

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>Y-you really think I'm the prettiest princess?

>>30055862
You're the prettiest everything

>>30055862
You're the prettiest pony of all Equestria.

>>30055965
she's not the prettiest stallion

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>>30055999
Impressive digits, but you're wrong

>>30050443
HOT BROWN COLD WHITE

>>30056009
she looks gay af tho

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Twiggy

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>>30056019
>implying you wouldn't go gay for dusk

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>>30056072
Twig > Dig

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>>30055862
The prettiest.
The cutest.
The sexiest.

>>30055343
That looks awesome

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>>30056129
it looks thicc

>>30056751
Because you're a degenerate with a shitty fetish.

>>30056751
Death is sexy.

>>30056751
DELET THIS FAGGOT!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>30056751
That pic just legit fucked my stomach up rest in RIP me.

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>>3005675 1
kys yourself you edgy prick

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>>30056751
Don't worry, I've masturbated to that too.

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>>30056751

>>30055849
>In my defence, I'm not a native speaker of english.
Are you south african?

I like your style. The dialogue could use a little work to sound more real, but the nervous and overly elaborate way in which they both speak works for the story, illustrating the two as both a bit nerdy, but cute. Good job.

>>30057211
Said the underaged brony

>>30057661
>South African
Hahah, no, I'm Finnish but I spend way too much time on the net so my English isn't that terrible.

Thanks for the compliment, as a rather mediocre writefag I rarely get those. I'm glad you noticed what I did with the dialogue. Never been a fan of writefags who make Twi talk like a cheap whore ("Ohh Anon, will you please fuck my wet virgin pussy?") instead of an awkward nerd.

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>>30058098
I'm glad you see it this way and try to write her like that. Please do write more in the future.

>>30056751
She deserved it

>>30057661
Are you trying to imply that South African English isn't real English?

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>>30056751
It really angers me that mods deleted this post. The image was both completely sfw and the person even considerately spoilered it for those who'd rather not see it.

It violated literally no rule. It's just mods abusing their power against something they don't like.

>>30058528
The mods got pissed over their new fetish.

>>30051258
DELET THIS. REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>30058528
Some turboautist probably reported it into oblivion cause they were triggered.

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could some explain to me scientifically with citations & sources about what exactly makes Twilight so much more cute and fuckable than all the others?

>>30058861
it's fucking magic and shit

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>>30058861
She really is something else

>>30058861
Lemme make a shit bullet point list thing kind of

>Main character, at least in S1
>Adorkable
>nerdy, smart, sarcastic
>awkward, anxious, stressed
>autistic (it's cute because she's female)
>Relatable due to above points
>Nerds, NEETs and autists (majority of Internet users) especially relate to her due to above points
>Has a heart of gold
>acts cute, esp. when excited
>sometimes acts like a cat
>purple is a sexy ass color
>she's entirely purple
>Huge anime eyes, sexy manecut, cute face, nice flank, Tara's hot/cute voice acting
>did I mention purple color

I think that's all.

>>30058528
It was a hanging, I wouldn't call that sfw so I'm fine with being banned. Although I should mention that I was banned for breaking GR3, so I guess it was considered a grotesque image or something.

As you can see, the ban is very effective.

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>>30058861
I think the cuteness question got covered some threads ago. She's not a regular type of cute. We have designated typical cute characters like the helpless moe Fluttershy, the genki girl Pinkie, even Rarity as "the girly one" is inherently cute.

But even as I find Twilight above all else "average" in her usual behaviour, it gets projected on a generally cute pony way of moving and doing things. This gives way to the "mundane cute", the subtle cuteness in regular things, the "cuteness undertones" if you will. Once you start seeing it, these little things, animations, movements, you can't stop seeing it in everything she does. Some of her moments get me every time with just how cute they are, pic related; when they go out of their way to make her cute it really hits the mark.

And her being neurotic and acting unusual because of stress also adds a new layer to it, her dorky nervous attitude invokes desire to protect her. She's smart but sometimes acts so silly. She's strong and powerful but sometimes she can't handle the pressure, like when she takes too much or doesn't share it. She tries too hard, assumes too much and worries for nothing. It's just so endearing. She just needs a little push to regain composure, to be on top of her game again and you can't help but want her to succeed, you want to push her. And when she succeeds she laughs, and you feel relief. Like you did something too.

For me personally it's also her big curious eyes. I think her eyes are a bit different from other ponies' but I can't prove anything in this regard, I'm no artist. Her voice is also perfect.

As for the spoilered part, you can portray any character as sexy in fan art, but for me she's such a perfect combination of cute and beautiful she's just irresistible. Her character also plays a big role in it for me, it opens ways to so many different fantasies I can't get enough of it. You can imagine a lot of types of attitude for her without going overboard.

She's also purple.

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>>30058861
observe figure 1

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>>30059246
But it wasn't grotesque or guro. It was just tasteful art of a hanging. Frogposters frequently post drawings of the frog hanging himself and no-one would even think to consider that a violation of GR3. It's arbitrary rule enforcement against something the mod disliked; somehow hanging frogs are ok, but a hanging pony isn't.

>>30059197
I can't relate to her at all and she makes my dick throb painfully. What makes her so hot to me is her dominant side. Twilight's not just a cute, curious nerd but also a true alpha mare. She's usually the first one to step the fuck up when shit gets real and looks so natural when in charge. She's the pony you could give all the power in the universe and she would still act the exact same way
But yeah, her design and voice are huge factors aswell

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>>30059141
I don't know how or why but holy fuck this mare is so sexy.

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>>30059568
>a challenger appears

>>30058338
>>30056949
>>30057211
>>30057227
>>30057570
>>30056801
>>30056799

what did i miss

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>>30059594
Twilight getting hanged

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>>30059559
She also persistent and tries her absolute hardest, she doesn't half-ass anything. Even if she's actually fragile inside she doesn't step down until she's downright broken.
Something as simple as being tardy can make her panic and lose her mind, but put her in a position of responsibility (especially for others) where stakes are high and she starts to shine.

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>>30059586
Yeah, appears in the wrong thread. Are you lost? Only sexy ponies are allowed here.

>>30059675
bully

>>30059594
I posted this and wondered why I was mildly aroused by it:
https://derpibooru.org/1073096?q=twilight+sparkle%2C+hanging&sd=desc&sf=score

It got deleted and I was banned (how horrible, no way I can do anything about it).

Now that I think of it, I don't think I'm aroused by the image, but it's some other visceral emotion. Hard to say what it is, but it's at its strongest when I look at her tear-filled eyes or think about her dying so painfully. It's not sadness or disgust, but something similar. Really don't know.

>>30059804
You probably just enjoy abuse.

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>>30059675
come again?

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>>30059909
I'll make you come again and again, friend.

>>30059269
I agree with all of that but
>She's purple
That's what does it for me
Anytime I see a purple anything I immediately want to hug it

>>30060092
lel

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>>30059931
Most honorable. Trixie will bring her nuts

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>>30060092
No surprise, purple is the best color and characters with a lot of purple in their color scheme are usually the best ones.

>>30060142
the fuck is that crap

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>>30060146
A purple horse.

>>30059141
she could probably compete against a giraffe for a'most disproportionate neck' competition and win

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>>30060182
It's not THAT long.

>>30060182
there's four necks longer and more disproportionate than hers on that image alone

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>>30060142

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Will she and M5 ever again have a moment of glory together? When was the last time friendship was actually magic?

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>>30060730
fillies a cute

>>30058355
Quite the contrary, actually. The writing style reminded me of a South African Writer. I'm not sure why.

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>>30059804
It was taboo, she's hot, and seeing her in a not-as-hot but could still kinda be hot situation confused you. Your super-ego and ego are at war. You must enlighten yourself through magic meditation. Or fap. Of course, this all stems from the fact that as a child, you wished to mutilate your mother and remove your penis so you may take her place.

Of course, none of this applies to me, though. I'm just telling you what I've analyzed.

>>30061062
Kek. Freud was the original madman

>>30061062
Sigmund Freud? More like Hack Fraud.

>>30061062
>Freud
Kek

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You massage her engorged clitoris with the cum-moistened head of your erect, throbbing penis as she moans and mumbles that her lower pelvic muscles are beginning to contract

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bumpa bump

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>Here, in your arms, is Twilight Sparkle.
>Do you believe in miracles, Anon? You're holding one right now.a
>One of the most powerful and influential mares in all of Equestria is right here, seeking affection.
>Your affection.
>The pony who's immortalised in history within her lifetime.
>The pony who's been tested countless times, who went through trials and tribulations and became better and stronger for it.
>The pony who has so much to say and teach, but who still learns from every experience.
>Her head, containing seemingly endless knowledge, now rests on your chest with only one thought, longing for your touch.
>Her body was once filled with all the princess magic, taken beyond limits, tested against stone.
>Beaten so many times but never defeated she's been hardened, but as your hand rests on her you feel how soft and relaxed she is.
>The most delicate and fragile being, she shares her warmth with you, trusting you fully.
>One thought leads to another and you can almost feel it, the weight of everything she had to endure, the burden on her shoulders. Long gone but not forgotten.
>From everyday struggles and friendship problems to the times when she thought she'd lost it all, herself, her friends, Equestria itself. She faced it and lived through it.
>You hesitate to pet her further, as if in fear that with your touch she'll just break or fade away.
>But it's alleviated in a moment, dispelled by her concerned look. She wonders why you stopped.
>You place your hand on her back again and she closes her eyes in pleasure. All is good.
>Every burden has been lifted. Every worry, gone. After all these years, after everything that happened, it's still her.
>Princess Twilight Sparkle, hero of Equestria. Known for saving the world with her friends.
>And your little Twily. Known for liking ear nibbles and being easy to tease.
>She could've been with anyone she wants. But she's yours.
>This is in itself a miracle. And you've learned to appreciate it for what it is.

>>30063240
perfect

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>>30063755
I prefer not to exclude anything from how the show portrays her. So far there wasn't anything I couldn't deal with, even shitty writing can be rationalised most of the time.

>>30063240
Nice, but where's the estrus meme and anon's pants drenched with her juices gushing forth in an absolute deluge?

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>>30063842
Looking forward to the movie with the old writers bringing big ol twig back. Hopefully.

>>30063240
Cute and comfy

>>30063755
Personally I'm trying to keep her as close to her canon self as possible in my fantasies, even including her bad traits.
except I never imagine her with wings

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>>30064212
Aw, but they're so cute and pretty.

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>>30064212
>neglecting her beautiful flappers
her wings are top fluff

>>30064268
No. Flight feather are rough and I don't like their texture. It's her soft fur that is pure bliss to the touch.

>>30064007
In the shed where it belongs

>>30064212
>I never imagine her with wings
I'm kind of like that, except it's more of an unconscious thing. I actually like her wings, and sometimes picture her with them, but if I don't set out to actually do so, I often neglect them by accident. It's like, I'm having a fantasy about cuddling with her, all is going well. Then, I start to reach for her back, and as I'm stroking my hand down her spine, I then realize that I've been picturing it smooth, and that that kind of stroke would clip right through her wings. Slowly, though, I have started to picture passing my hand under her folded wing to reach for and caress the joing connected to her back. It's a very recent thing, though.

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>>30064669
I used to forget about the wings in some situations but it got better once I started imagining her actually doing something with them. Winghugs, hovering above the ground and stuff like that.
Still lose sight of them with lewd stuff quite often. Can't think of anything creative and focus on another things most of the times.

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>>30063240
Nice, you should write more.

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>>30063755
I wonder this a lot. However, I think I fell in love with her as she was in the show. It was when I started writing her for myself, trying my best to make her as she is from the source material did I then realize how much I really cared for her character from the show. I fell in love with who she was there, and every time I write her, I want to be as accurate as I can. I mean, true I do that for all the characters, but I feel like I "get" Twilight a little more than the others, or at least understand some of her rationale. The problem I experience, however, is that as the show goes on, Twilight becomes different (not too much, but by a lot). She's less sarcastic and snarky and whatnot... but she's happier so I can't complain. She's gotten her life under control it seems now. The problem that I have is that I try to write Twilight as she would as her character was during a specific time of the show's history, but overall make it so she herself would go "that really is something that I'd do/would've done."

My worst fear, however, is that despite all this, I still won't ever succeed in that, and looking at my earlier greens, I begin to worry myself. I swear to God that I understand her character, but I'm too nervous on how to properly write her so that it's perfect. I remember when I wrote "the perfect date" that afterward, I was pissed at myself for making her way too passive. It started off okay, but it accelerated to a rate she wouldn't go at realistically.

Seriously, guys; I love her so much, but it terrifies me when I write. I want her to be 'her' in my stories, but I can't stop second-guessing myself. It's shit like this that's lead me to write entire stories weeks in advance then ultimately scrap them altogether. I mean, how can I say I love her if I can't write her? It's a real moral dilemma for me. Maybe it's just the fact that as an actor, I'm way too intense about capturing a character's essence but it's important that I do.

>>30065531
Basically just kill yourself at that point.

>>30065531
What's your opinion on Starlight glimmer?

>>30065531
>how can I say I love her if I can't write her
Understanding her and being able to recapture and express that understanding is totally different. Creative skills don't reflect how you really feel most of the times, it's normal. You'll get there with practice as long as she's in your heart.

As for the writing I personally don't scan every story for 100% on-character dialogue and actions and I bet most people don't either. Oftentimes just avoiding something a character certainly wouldn't do or something that goes against established canon is enough to make me enjoy the story without second-guessing the author.

>>30065559
I think too deeply about characters I write, ones for my own fictional stories and ones already existing. I think about this shit way too deeply, I'll admit, but I do it for a reason. I usually don't go on about it.

>>30065567
I like the idea of adding a new character, really, but they really dropped the bomb with Starlight. I don't objectively hate her, but I don't care either. She's still got some redeeming to do, and her whole arc and backstory were really lame. They could've done so much better. I mean, there some things I do like about her, I'll admit, but she's just as effective as Flurry Heart in that it's neat that she's there, but ultimately unnecessary. I truly did like her as a villain, too. She was different with her whole "Equality" approach, but her whole redemption was pitifully done and made her into a lame alternative to Sunset Shimmer. I mean, I do think it's weird that she was then put under Twilight's guidance, but it DOES make sense for Twilight to do such a thing now... And I'll admit, I liked how Starlight was not pleased about doing the friendship task in The Crystalling with Sunburst. That was genuinely funny, her doing something that for Twilight is totally normal, but realistically is kind of awkward. But then she brainwashed the rest of the cast. C'mon. That's ridiculous. If they wanted to keep Starlight around and make her integral, they needed to plan who she was a lot more, because otherwise, she'll come off as an annoying character that comes out of nowhere, getting praise despite her overwhelming flaws. She's a Mary Sue, almost -- easily forgiven, always praised, gets away with shit, friends with a fan-favorite character. If they weren't going to bother giving her a good backstory and not answer the questions about who she was, they should've made her Spike 2.0

>>30065719
Thanks, man. That helps me deeply. You're a good friend, friend. I just worry that when I write, people think I don't get her.

Twily was better as just a unicorn you can't argue that

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>>30066023
Twilight is purple.
Purple is the best color.
The more purple the better.
Alicorn Twilight has wings.
The wings are purple.
That's two purple wings more purple than unicorn Twilight.
Alicorn Twilight is more purple.
Alicorn Twilight is better.
Case closed.

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Twilight is a very tall pony.

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>>30066391
She's robust

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>>30066453
>Even Flutterflank pales in comparison to the magnificence of Twiflank.

As it should be.

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sleep well

>>30066453
This picture has made me realize something: Rainbow dash is a marelet.

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>>30065812
>objectively hate
How do you even... What?

>>30066666
Fug, I got some digits

>>30066666
Nice

>>30066654
Meant it more along the lines of "exactly" like I "don't exactly hate her". My fault for the wrong usage of the word.

>>30066666
CHECKED

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>>30066666
Now would ya look at that
nice

>>30066666
fucking wasted

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dhamnn it fuckkin why god ldamn iit so ju st wishhin.

>>30066666
Good gets for best pone

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>>30066907
Anon are you drunk?

Do you want to talk?

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>>30062480
fuck

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>>30066955
Juoost wannto s. Idoon't know. fantasize that I'd jummp and shee'd catchh me befoor the grounnd did. But mhybe if she didnn't save mee it'd still be finne too. Maybe jost ann end would be sfine. God damnn, what am I sayin, im too muchh of a poussy to do anye of thhat. Wheers the dooor?soo fucbing tired. Need somewherr to scrream. Sorry forr this massiv turd ofs a post.

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>>30067025
You shouldn't think about stuff like that Anon. It's not healthy. Why don't you go to bed and rest? It's always better in the morning.

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>>30067050
Maybe I sshould. It's just beenn hurtingr so loong. my hearrts just not herre. it'rs so far away. I want to go home.

>>30050451
confirmed

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>>30067173
Your heart probably hurts from all the greasy food you eat, you fat fuck.
Go cry somewhere else.

>>30067464
fag

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We're all gonna make it

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Fapping to regular porn like a normie VS fantasizing about having sex with Twilight

Fapping to porn:
>no hooves
>pornstars are just faces
>generic whore monologue
>no hugs, cuddles and snuggles
>no love or passion, just sex
>no kisses (except maybe on the dick)
>the pornstars submit like sex slaves
>cum after 5 minutes (I do at least)
>feel like a lonely, miserable piece of shit afterwards

Sex with Twily:
>hooves and wings, ooh la la
>she has an amazing personality and a gorgeous face
>you two geeks have cute, awkward and nerdy chats with each other
>comfy hugs, cuddles and snuggles with the soft and warm princess
>you love each other with a passion that burns as brightly as a thousand suns
>wet, sloppy horsekisses
>she is a dom and likes being in control on top
>cum after 20 minutes of awesome sex
>feel happy, loved and fulfilled afterwards, she might be a fantasy but she feels so damn real

I feel sorry for unenlightened normies.

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>>30068009
"Normies" meme aside it's fairly accurate.
>cum after 5 minutes
More like after an hour of switching between tabs. Searching for new exciting things was so tiring and ultimately boring. From regular porn to /d/ and beyond it all lost its appeal with time.
It's a product. There's no emotional connection there. You do the thing and that's it. You get used to it eventually. But with her it's so much different. It's something that can't be replicated otherwise, I never knew how good it can actually feel, and it feels that good every time. Now that I've experienced it I wouldn't be able to go back even if I wanted to.

>>30067025
As an alcoholic this guy is an attention whoring faker. Don't clog up the thread with your retarded shit you pissant.

>>30068616
Yeah, I was afraid of being an attention whore, and I'm sorry. I really am a bit of an alcoholic, though, and all of what I was trying to say last night is true. Even when I'm sober, I often fantasize about jumping from the balcony of my apartment, and that she'd save me. It'd be at night, when no one would witness me making the jump, and before I'd hit the ground, she'd fly under me and catch me half way. She'd then bring me to the ground and scold me for being so foolish, while also comforting me, and I'd be sobbing over her shoulder. I know this is incredibly faggy, illogical, and pathetic. I don't know why she'd go out of her way to save me, or how she'd know some monkey was killing himself on another planet, but my mind keeps returning to this fantasy every few days or so. It doesn't make me happy. It's just a kind of release of emotions, I guess.

>>30068932
That's fine, feelposting is acceptable but acting like a 13 year old who just drank their first beer and typping liek thss as if being shitfaced makes you retarded and unable to type is fucking ridiculous and the worst kind of attention whoring. If you're going to pretend you're a le super depressed alcoholic you need to actually drink.

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>>30068932
She would scold you for writing like a retard when it's uncalled for, that's for sure.
I know that feel though

>>30068957
I did drink though. Two beers and a caesar. Apparently, that's very little compared to others, but that gets me as drunk as I can get without ending up with a headache and the need to barf. Also, if it helps, this is my keyboard.
https://ploum.net/images/messagease.png
I'd take an actual screenshot, but my phone was too full, and after moving some shit over to my card, it's not even responding to the command anymore. Won't even let me download the image so I can post it.

>>30069051
What the fuck is that

>>30069093
A caesar is a drink that has at least tomato juice, clam broth, tabasco sauce, a shot of vodka, and rimming salt. Also, that's a keyboard ^:).

>>30069126
Sounds like a lot of effort just to get drunk, also get a better keyboard jeez.

>>30069155
It works perfectly fine when I'm sober. Also, caesars are fucking delicious. Gotta head out for now.

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>>30069126
>clam juice
G R O S S
R
O
S
S

>>30069093
It's got French diacritics, so I'm guessing it's got something to do with eating frogs, but other than that your guess is as good as mine.

>>30066666
cute

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>>30069210
Should've used mare juice instead.

>>30070352
Same thing.

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>>30063240
that's cute and comfy
I like it
too bad it'll never be real ahahahahaha i'd like a nice big sip of CLOROX right about now HAAAAAAAAA

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>"And then I'll hold my hoof up like this, look at him like that, and ask him:"
>"Ahem. Anon, would you like to go on a date with me?"

>"Wow, that wasn't hard at all. I wonder why I couldn't say it for the first three times."
>"Rehearsing in front of a mirror was a great idea, I'll surely..."
>"Wait, maybe this is too plain and blatant?"
>"Anon, I've been thinking, maybe we should go o- No, he'll just say something sarcastic about me "thinking" or something."
>"Hey, Anon, looking good tonight! How about we... Ughh, no, he wears the same suit for every occasion so technically he's not gonna be looking different."
>"Ok, maybe I don't even need to say anything and he'll just... figure it out... Yeah, right."
>"Maybe a text invitation? He'll just ridicule me for being so formal. Among other things."
>"Besides, I'm already rehearsing it, might as well just say it."
>"It's not THAT hard, right? Just don't forget the words like the last time."
>"And don't try to use notes like the time before that."
>"And approach him at all, unlike the first time."

>"Ok. Breathe out. Hold my hoof up, look at him. Anon, would you like to go on a date with me?"
>"Perfect."

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>>30069210
If you're really turned off by the clam broth, then just get a bloody mary. It's the same thing, but no clam broth. I still recommend you get a caesar, though. The clam is not overpowering at all, since bars pretty much always use a premix of tomato juice and clam broth called Clamato to prepare the drink.
Whichever of the two you get, make sure they add something sour to the drink like a lime or a spicy bean.

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>>30072414
Woops, forgot to say, this was adorable. I'd be flattered, and probably be put in a weird, giddy-giggly fit if I walked in on her rehersing so autistically for me.

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Time to relieve the princess.

Alcor really needs to start drawing her nostrils though

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>>30072802
And someone even doubted it would all come down to this.

>>30072802
Is this the latest panel of this? Cause my dick hurts

>>30072802
have a link to source?

>>30072802
>spoiler
Yeah, her face looks plain weird in the second panel.

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>>30072802
>I tried before with the girls
>and princess Celestia
>and princess Luna
>and Cadence

>>30073902
Lönk: https://derpibooru.org/1434716

the preview for the next page can be seen in the comments (look under the crude Twigoat drawing). fuck my dick is hard now

Alcor draws ponies weirdly but it's not that big of a deal.

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Is it even legal to be this cute?

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>>30072802
You can only tease a mare for so long before she snaps.

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>>30075319
The mare is not for teasing.

>>30072726
It's NOT autistic. Is CUTE and ADORABLE.

>>30074653
Thanks bud

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>>30075427
It's autistic but in a cute and adorable way.

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>>30075427
If Twi wasn't autistic I wouldn't love her

>>30076312
That's what I meant. Sorry.

Does anyone have a certain greentext story saved? It's a christmas tale clopfic about Twilight's very delicate and sensitive hooves.

>>30077794
i might have it on my computer, i'll look for it later

>>30077794
That sounds like cancer.

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>>30077794
This one?

>>30077883
Eeyup, that's cancer.

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>>30077883
Yes! Thanks, have a cute Twily.

>>30077876
It kinda is, but I thought it was cute when I first read it. It's been a while and I want to read it again.

>>30077921
>I thought it was cute
>hoof fetish
>cute
Pick one.

>>30077928
We're on a board about having sex with cartoon horses and you're bothered by an odd fetish?

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>>30077921
>>30077928
Yeah, I think it's the only clopfic I ever saved and I don't even like hooves and agressive teasing this much.

>>30077972
>if you like a fictional character you should like anything
Not an argument.

>>30077794
>>30077883
Kill yourselves.

>>30077928
hooves are wonderful, one of the best parts of a pony

>>30078056
Give me proof, niglet.

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>>30078033
>not enjoying Twilight's hooves
Every part of her is perfect and should be worshipped. You don't have to be a hooffag to do that, just the fact that it's HER hooves is enough.

Instead of arguing about a weird fetish clopfic, how about we recommend some normal ones?

>>30078109
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yqUpypQwGs

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>>30077928
Drink bleach faggot.
Peoples can like what the fuck they want.
Stop trying to fit in, it doesn't work.

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>>30078124
>clopfic
>normal
You mean something without any fetish stuff, heat meme plot and going extremely OOC? Does such a thing even exist?

>>30078124
http://pastebin.com/7zD8EYvZ

>>30078150
I'm not trying to "fit in", I'm expressing an opinion.
I am of the opinion that being a hoof/footfag is the highest form of cancer outside of being a glim/shim/nyxfag.

>>30078162
>being this much of an autist

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>>30078169
Yes, the fact that you're expressing your opinion is showing you're trying to fit in, and it doesn't work.
If you were a normal human being, you wouldn't give a fuck about it and move on, completely ignoring it, but you decide to be cancerous about it 'just for the lulz xd'
off my board redditor.

>>30078124
https://pastebin.com/11eQdYzj

>>30078056
Nope. They're face is.

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>>30078178
Yeah, sorry for wanting something "normal".

>>30078189
>continuing to think I'm trying to "fit in"
>resorting to ad hominims to "win" the "argument"

>>30078211
*their

>>30078189
>expressing opinions is r*ddit
le what the heck?

>>30078217
>normal

>>30078221
You can't use the ad hominem excuse if you don't even have an argument I can attack, you mongoloid.
Your whole shtick is "it's cancerous"

>>30078232
Ad hominem is attacking the person behind the argument, not the argument itself. Open a damn book some time.

>>30078231
Yes, you're right I should've said something else than reddit, but I have no idea what the teenagers use these days. Is 9gag still alive?

>>30078246
But I can't attack your argument if you have none, holy shit Anon.
Just stop, this isn't /v/.

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>>30078232
Yeah, normal. You know, not extremely niche that only a handful of people with that fetish can relate to and enjoy, and not something that uses a plot device so overused it actually hurts the story more than helps it because it requires literally zero effort to set up?

>>30078262
>only a handful of persons can relate
Like what? Nobody posted anything obscure like plane ponies, vore or other /d/ level stuff.

>plot devices
You mean, normal stuff like being HORNY or wanting to fuck something.
Uh, really made me think.

>>30078260
I have an argument, you're just choosing not to recognize it. If you want, I could elaborate a little bit. Hoof/foot fetish is cancerous because there is literally NOTHING erotic or arousing about that region.

>>30078311
Okay, and now I'm telling you that your opinion is shit and many other people find this content arousing, erotic or even romantic.
And then I'll go further and tell you that many girls actually love getting their feet rubbed and stroked when taking it. Just like their ears, or breasts, or butt, or even their asshole!
Crazy shit eh?
What happens to your argument now?

>>30078343
It remains standing because you have no proof and are continuing to use ad hominems.

>>30078292
Nobody posted anything other than that pain fetish fic (which is pretty niche) and fairly "normal" other one.

I mean stuff like being horny so much everything else is disregarded completely as it makes you a braindead sex-zombie that unconditionally craves hot monkey dick.

>>30078388
being horny works like that a lot of times in reality

>>30078525
How many mares have fucked you irl, anon?

>>30078642
every single one of them

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>>30078697

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Twilight wants to drink with you.

>>30079401
And you end up with a bendy straw right up your penis

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>>30072802
>You will never be Twilight in heat
>You will never know what it feels like to have your estrus relieved

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>>30079738
>You will never be Twilight
Why even live

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>>30079960
This. I want to be one of the ponies much more than I'd like anything else because they're happy.

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>>30080000
They're not happy because they're ponies. They're happy because they never went through a life like ours in a world like ours. Being a pony you would still be unhappy. Maybe they would get used to you sooner that way but ultimately it's not the appearance that matters. If you can be a great friend as you are, it won't matter for them if you're a pony or not. They'll make you happy. She'll make you happy.

>>30080000
sounds like a personal problem faggot

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>>30079719
>Both of you got wasted and during your drunk banter Twilight took your dismissive "go suck a dick, Twiggle" too literally

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Someone's calling to you
Sweeter than you've ever heard
I don't know what it means
But I'm in love with the word

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>>30079738
>You will never know what it feels like to have your estrus relieved
Imagine feeling uneasy in your nether regions, subtle at first but getting harder to ignore with each day. It doesn't get stronger, you just focus on it more and a lot of things start to first go through there before going into your brain, so to speak. Like others' body shapes or them looking at you. Any physical contact gets amplified and you can't stop thinking about how you bumped into someone today.

All that gets to a point where there's literally heat building up down there. Like you're filled with magma or something. Even if dormant it doesn't really go away as even little things can trigger it. That's when you need real relief. But not anything will do. Some may just take advantage of you. Some may do it out of pity or something. There's no point in just physical stimulation, you can do it yourself and it doesn't help much. No, you need someone you can trust, someone who won't just relieve you but will share it and enjoy it.

Luckly you have someone like that. When you start it feels like some kind of hell where the burning fires actually feel good. It's the ache that clouds your mind, the sweet ache in your entire body that forces you to stretch and twist your neck like you want to break it. You gasp for air and your shallow fast heartbeat almost makes you pass out. You don't even think about how wet and hot you are and how many winks per minute you're going. The buildup is fast and overtakes you completely. Your chest is bursting from the inside and you feel like wriggling just to get it out but you're safely secured by your partner and instead just convulse, unable to contain a strained high-pitched moan. You want to concentrate on the process that's taking place but you barely can, between the apparent lack of air and the saccharine sensation filling you inside you there's not a lot to this world now.

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>>30081612
The ache soon bottles up so much you literally can't contain yourself, mighty wave of shudder overtakes you and your body violently shakes and contorts, making your partner secure you tighter. You feel so lewd, so indecent in their hold, it makes you burn. But they won't judge you for that, they embrace it, they enjoy you like that, accept you like that, want you like that. They feel it like you do, every contraction of your muscles, every breath, they welcome it all and love it. Your every gaze is met, your every moan is heard, your every movement is felt. On another sharp breath you whisper their name but it comes out abrupt and sultry, you never expected it be so passionate. And that's enough to push you over the edge.

From you diaphragm through your belly and out to your crotch a sharp wave of pleasure washes you away completely and for a single moment there's nothing in your brain. But then comes the tension, all the ache you've felt crushes down on you at once and absolutely overwhelms you. Your eyes are wide open and you afraid to move your head because a black mass is forming in your forehead, pressuring your brain so much you feel like you're going blind. A low, almost guttural growl-like moan escapes you under the pressure in your chest and it's followed with forced tears from your eyes. Another similar wave a mere second later makes you shut your eyes tight and bite your lip with another pleading moan as your body completely gives in, convulsing chaotically, left for your partner's mercy. They feel it too and hold you close soothingly. After what feels like an eternity and a half the pressure is gone and you give it your last, gentle moan to say goodbye. Your body goes completely limp. The burning feeling is gone now, the only reminder of it being your lewd wet musky smell. The ache is also gone. You smile and now actual tears of relief start pouring out. You feel at peace.

That's basically how it feels.

t. actual mare

>>30082181
I love her

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>>30081628
Thank you for this.

It's not just about the lust of fucking her, it's the love of making her feel good again.

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>"Anon, I'm a wizard"

>>30081628
Write a proper clopfic please

last time I saw someone describe a sexual experience so well, the writer was a woman, so I assume by "mare" you mean woman. Which begs the question, why are you here?

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>>30083745
It was a joke, I'm a man who just imagines too much.
It's partially based on my own experience with Twiggles.

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>That soft, quiet moment when she's had her orgasm, and tiredly asks you to cum inside her

>>30084084
>cropped dimwitdog
No. He sucks.

>>30084153
>not liking his pony shit
Really Anon?

>>30084229
Not that anon but yeah, it's pretty boring and also inaccurate.

>ITT: essayists expound upon their reasons why having Twilight Sparkle for their special somepony is superior to talking to actual girls.

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>>30084449
A) Twilight is the ideal mare, intelligent, strong, pure of heart and a member of the master race
B) Twilight is your waifu and thus will love you forever unconditionally unless you really hate yourself
C) Real girls can break your heart
D) Real girls can (and will) break your wallet too.

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>>30084486
>wallet smashing

>>30084486
Yup. That's true!!!

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>>30084486
I mean... Anon, I'd give my entire wallet away if that helped her become real

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>>30081628
>"estrus, the crippling medical emergency that requires immediate attention" fantasy
check
>heat makes one/one's genitals feel literally hot; that's why it's called "heat", duh
check
>"down there" from a quadruped's POV
check, and kill yourself, anthrofag JK
>superior muscle control meme?
Not sure... perhaps you were referring to winking or some other body part? If not, check.
>always a mind-blowing, body-wracking orgasm, no exceptions
check
>use the word "guttural" in a sentence
check
>the obligatory "after what feels like an eternity" phrase
With a slight twist, but still, check. No "ministrations", though. You could've scored another point for ministrations.

Okay, this is pretty impressive, but nowhere near complete. Where are my bucketfuls of sex fluids of uncertain origin, superior monkey dick, participial phrases, abdominal bulges, cervical penetration, female ejaculation, etc.? It's just not enough and I need my recommended daily dose of smut clichés and unrealism, dammit.

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>>30085263
I'm just gonna take all that as a compliment.

>always a mind-blowing, body-wracking orgasm, no exceptions
You mean it's not like that for you?

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>>30085420
>You mean it's not like that for you?

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I prefer the estrus that just makes Twilight incredibly lewd and rape-y.

>>30085635
yes, any other kind of headcanon is shit and should be ignored.

>>30085263
Seriously though, where do I find completely meme-free clop? I know I managed to hit all the bases here and the idea of heat doesn't really appeal to me, as well "relieving" it.

>>30085714
Well you gotta search deep Anon.
Check the really old fics on fimfic.
Check out TAW's stuff, she did some great twiggy stuff.
Not the one with applejack, the others, there's generally 'twaifufaggottry' in the descriptions or smth

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>>30084522
waifu plush cost me a one time payment of $500 for the materials. 3dpd's in toronto require a $300 dinner and they might not even fuck you after. Wallet smash that.

>>30085714
Okay, here's what you do: Suck it up, and deal with the memes. The whole damned universe is memes. Everything is a meme, anon. Even this post is a meme.

>>30085714
You don't. It finds you... Nah, not really. People who write clop usually read other clop, and they draw inspiration out of what they read. A lot of inspiration. And this is probably how a whole crapload of it ends up being formulaic and bland. And maybe that's what readers want, who knows. Fimfiction has more variety. The less fleshly explicitness crammed into it at all costs and less dilettantish the prose, the less likely an erotic story is to be full of stock phrases and unrealistic sex physiology. Like porn, creatively written clop is hard to find.
Memes aside, the style >>30081628 uses seems pretty original for this place, really unlike your typical clop.

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>>30086247
Truth.

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>>30085635
>Sarcastic wit increases to new levels
>Every other joke is sexual in nature
>Relentless teasing, going as far as looking at/interacting with other stallions just for the sole purpose of getting you mad or jealous
>Any food or drinks she makes for you now contain extra ingredients
>Slaps your ass if you get too close
>Goes all the way to tongue fuck your throat if you try to kiss her
>Remotely jacks you off wherever you are when she wants to clop
>Won't cuddle you; you have to fuck
>Fucks you anyway if you look at her for too long
>Better not wake her up if you're sleeping with her

>>30086512
>she will never jack you off with magic from across the town when she's feeling lonely

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>>30086512
>cuddle denial
A fate worse than death.

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>>30086679
True, but Starlight might be able to pull that off.

>>30086902
It would no doubt backfire horribly like always.

>>30086902
i meant that she won't because she's not real. Twilight can use telekinesis from hundreds of yards away since S1

>>30086512
>uses her magic to keep you hard.
>also to keep your balls full.
>also to increase their output.
>keeps going when you beg her to let you rest, asking you for 'one more time', for the sixth time.
>keeps swearing whenever she gets close.
>adds impregnation innuendos here and there.
>force your hands on her tummy, slightly bulging from all of your cum, telling you how much she loves having so much of you inside of her.

>>30086902
If you want to end up sterile or ball-less, yeah, maybe.
Can't trust that poni Anon, the only thing she does right if fucking everything up.

>>30086512
That's not the Twilight I know and love. REEEEEEEEEE

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>>30087092
Well yeah.
Only he knows how she acts when she's in heat :^)

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>>30086964
With Starlight, it could maybe go horribly wrong, but with Twilight, it would certainly go horribly right.

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>>30086512
>>30087062

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>>30087062

>>30087062
>a dumb horse with only two brain cells, Twilight thinks the seminal fluid comes out of the balls alone, even though it's actually only a small fraction of it
>keeps wondering why your seed constantly runs dry
>also wonders why It just leaks out of her pussy instead of being forced through her cervix like a stallion's cock can do
>"Oh, I know!"
>magic flashes
>she disappears
>reappears
>demands that you touch her belly
>it's palpably full of something
>she's grinning

>>30087716
Oh come on Anon, everyone knows that I didn't mean this /literally/.
>cervix
Oh, you're one of /these/ guys, I get it now.
Sorry Anon, the hot monkey dick is superior to those ridiculous pony cocks.

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>caring about minor details in sex like penis type/size or amounts of cum or whatever
>focusing on what's in the genitals and not what's in the heart
>not caring about the love and emotions of the act

Twilight is for loving, not porn.

>>30087933
>she doesn't deserve the best
You're a faggot and you don't deserve her.
It's normal to want to please your mare Anon. If you don't feel like it, well either you'll end up a cuck, or alone.

>>30087835
It's a /real/ misconception, though. It's my *duty* as a ski instructor to poke fun at people who spread it, whether they do _not_ know know how cum is made or /not/.
And yes, I am a cervix guy. I prefer using non-Latin non-medical-sounding words, but I can't for the love of Zeus think of any synonyms for this one. If you know of a suitable one, let me know.

>>30087950
Pleasing the mare isn't just about penetration you know.

>>30087950
Are you the best? Is there no one better than you? Yeah... say goodbye to her. She deserves only the best.

>>30088007
Oh, no I thought you were one of those 'horsecock apologists' that are running around these days.
You can use her womb's entrance I find it really romantic. But I don't mind cervix.

>>30088016
Yes, but she's in heat and she's the one forcing me to pump her womb full of cum Anon.
She's horny and it's /her/ fetish as much as it is mine = she loves it. It's in the mind Anon. In her mind.

>>30088030
Well, I don't know, is there anyone better than me? :^)
I'm the writer I'm the god, I'm the one inside the story, isn't it how it works?

>>30088016
>mare
>not about penetration

This is a logical fallacy. If you knew what a "mare" is, you would immediately recognize this entity's inherent connection with penetration.

>>30088101
Well, I've never fucked a real horse so you probably have the advantage here.

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>>30088078
I don't know what you're arguing for anymore.

>>30088078
>I'm the writer I'm the god, I'm the one inside the story, isn't it how it works?
Holy fuck anon. Thank god this thread is dead. If this spread, the whole fucking board would turn into a cuckgularity and implode. I suggest that you delete your post immediately.

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>>30088156
Oh, you wanna argue on that?
Go ahead, I'm listening Anon. What do you have to say about this?
Please make me proud.
And do add some cucking here and there, it always has its effects.

>>30088136
Are we talking about real horses? Oh, right, of course we are. So, what you need to know is that horses are kept solely for sex. If you see a video or picture showing someone horseback riding with the actual horse tacked up and everything, it's 'shopped. If you see such a spectacle in real life, you need to stop smoking whatever you're smoking.

>>30088205
I'm just asking you not to tell people that it's the author fucking their waifu when they're reading a green about anon fucking his waifu. Please, I'm begging you. I'll delete my posts as soon as you delete yours.

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>>30088206
Well, we were talking about mares and not magical ponies, now tell me all about that penetration anon.

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I just want a story about Twilight literally raping Anon.

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>>30088228
Oh come on Anon, everyone knows that.
Writefags gets horny just as much as you do, surely even more. We have to imagine ourselves being in there, and have to imagine being /her/ too.
But we still use second person, because we know that people want to think it's about them. And it's cool, we're all cucks that way.
Because, in the end, it's flash that gets her.