Anon in Pone Prison #45 Guys, Come Back! Edition

>Be Anon
>Freshly arrived in Ponyland
>And you are being carted to jail for what was apparently public indecency whilst in the presence of royalty
>Why these little colorful horses consider wearing socks in public to be indecent is beyond you
>The royalty in question wasn't exactly complaining either
>You glance out the window of the carriage they've got you in and see a structure that looks vaguely like your old middle school
>Surrounded with tall fence
>Well, tall for them at least
>The carriage passes through a gate and approaches the building
>...wait, is this-?
>"On your feet, criminal!"
>The guard who'd been riding with you had been doing his best to be as far from you as possible
>They considered you a perv
>Can't say you'd blame them, considering you essentially appeared out of nowhere in the middle of their seat of government wearing what was, in their culture, essentially women's lingerie
>Still, he could tone down the attitude
>It's not like you knew
>You you get out of the carriage and check out your surroundings
>Yep, looks exactly like a middle school
>"Get moving, creep!"
>The guard pushes the back of your leg in an attempt to get you mobile
>You whip your head around and glower at him
"Fuck off, man. This is bullshit! Socks are perfectly normal to wear where I'm from!"
>The guard freezes
>Shit
>You said too much
>Well, here comes the first ass-kicking of your prison career
>The guard starts crying
>Wait, wat

>>30025140
>The guard's just staring up at you with tears in his eyes, sniffling
>"YOU MONSTER!"
>You turn, to see one of the horses pulling the coach angrily pointing at you
>"How could say such mean things?! You're going away for a long time!"
>...
>You subdued a prison guard
>With rude words
>Fuck this place, logic isn't a thing here
>While your brain was rendered inactive out of the sheer absurdity, a bunch of other guards had emerged from the building
>[Collective horse gasp]
>"What'd you do, you big ugly monkey?!"
>Ho fuck no
>You ain't about to take that from some punkass little horse
"I told him how /fucking/ stupid this whole situation is! I'm wearing socks because my feet get cold without them, not because I'm perverted! In fact, you assholes are the perverts, getting turned on by socks!"
>You're being a hypocrite, you love girls in knee socks
>Still, all you had on were normal ones
>These horses were definitely the ones in the wrong here
>Speaking of, they're reeling from your little tirade
>"S-so foul mouthed! Restrain him! Bring him in for processing!"
>You utter the time-honored battle cry of angry 20-something men
"COME AT ME BRO!"
>Unfortunately for the little weenie horses, you lift
>You bowl through the little group like ninepins, shrugging off the couple that clung to you
>...
>Isn't this going a little too well? How are they able to restrain their prisoners if they can't even-
>ZAP
>You hit the ground like a sack of potatoes, unable to move
>What just happened?
>Why are you paralyzed?
>"Is everypony alright?"
>"Warden! Thank goodness! We've got a nasty one here."

>>30025145
>Be Warden Sharp
>You were never sure why your parents named you that
>But boy, does it fit your job!
>You were in charge of the most secure prison in the Canterlot area, tasked with rehabilitating the hardest criminals in Equestria
>And you loved it!
>You believed everyone can make friends
>Even this new inmate
>Certainly, his crimes were rather icky, and his show of violence towards the guards was scary, but that's why you're here! To help him onto the right path!
"Are we all alright, gentlecolts? He really put a thumping on you!"
>Key Ring salutes
>"Afraid not, ma'am. We've got some boo-boos."
"Oh no!"
>He gestures to a few crying guards, being comforted by their friends
"Get them to the infirmary! We'll handle the inmate."
>The officer taps your shoulder, leaning in to whisper
>"This one's the nastiest I've ever seen, Miss Warden. I don't think he should be around the other inmates."
"Nonsense! Anypony can be reformed, Key Ring! We just have to remember the teachings of our... princesses..."
>You trail off as you notice Key Ring staring at something behind you, mouth agape

>Be Anon, a few moments earlier
>You've regained some control of your body, but what just happened?
>You'd assumed you'd been hit with a taser or something, but it didn't hurt
>So what was it?
>You slowly climb to your feet, shaking off some grogginess and becoming aware of someone talking behind you
>You turn to see one of the guards you thrashed earlier and a unicorn
>Still not as weird as those giant white and blue ones you saw earlier, but still weird
>The guard's just staring at you
>"Nonsense! Anyone can be reformed, Key Ring! We just have to remember the teachings of our... princesses..."
>She trails off as she realizes that he isn't listening, and turns to face you
>Her jaw drops
>"You...wha...how..."
"What'd you just hit me with?"
>The little horned horse squeaks in response
>"M-magic?"
>Magic?
>Seriously?
>A bold-faced lie if you've ever heard one

>>30025156
>Makes sense though
>Like hell they're going to tell you how they subdue you
>Guess it'd be better to cooperate for now
>Don't wanna start shit if they've got some weird, painless stun gun that can put you on your ass instantly
>...that's not much of a deterrent, actually.
>"How are you standing?"
>Oh
>She's recovered from her spaghetti fit
"I used my arms and legs to lift myself off the ground?"
>"But I hit you with a full-powered stun spell! You should be immobilized for an hour!"
>Huh
>She's claiming it's magic again
>Is she telling the truth?
>You've seen some weird things in your short tenure in this place
>Pegasi
>Unicorns
>Strange, giant combinations of the two that looked at you with expressions that had a little too much /desire/ in them for your comfort
>Maybe she isn't lying
>And if they really do have magic...
>It'd probably be best to play along, for now
"Uh, look. I'm sorry for beating up the guards. I was mad. I'm not a pervert or anything. Socks are what my kind wear to keep our feet warm, rather than intimate clothing."
>She looks encouraged now that you've cooled down some
>"Pardon me, but what are you anyway? I've never seen something like you before!"
"I'm a human."

>Be Warden Sharp
>This is so exciting!
>You KNEW anyone could be reformed!
>And he's a species you've never heard of!
>Freaky resistance to magic aside, all it took for the new inmate was some polite conversation!
>Leaving a still-gawking Key Ring behind, you lead your new prisoner into the complex
>INTERNAL GASP
"I'm so sorry! I haven't even asked your name yet!"
>"Oh, it's no problem. I'm Anonymous. But you can call me Anon."
>INTERNAL GASP x2
>He's letting you call him by nickname already?! So friendly!
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Anon! I'm Warden Sharp! You can just call me Warden!"
>"Alright."
>This is going swimmingly!

>Be Anon
>Warden's alright
>A little unnaturally bouncy, but she's a decent sort.

>>30025159
"So, uh..."
>"Yes?"
>She looks really eager to help
>You feel a little more hopeful about this whole prison thing
"Now that I've explained the whole sock thing, can I get my sentence shortened? How long am I in for anyway?"
>Warden looks sad now
>"I'm sorry Anon. You were personally sentenced by the Princesses, and when you add on assaulting guardsponies to that..."
>OH SHIT
>She's right! You fucked up!
>You brace yourself
>This number isn't going to be pretty
>"I'm afraid you're in for four weeks..."
>...
"But that's, like, a month..."
>She looks teary-eyed
>"I know! And to think it's all the result of a misunderstanding! I'm so sorry Anon!"
>Are you missing something here?
>She's crying like you got the death penalty or something
"Hey, Warden, c'mon. It's just a month. I don't see wha-"
>"JUST a month?!"
>She's looking at you all wide-eyed
>"Anon, that's one of the longest sentences we've had in recent years! Normal ponies can't make it that long!"
>What?
>It's THAT bad in there?
>Is the outside just a facade?
>You're getting nervous again
>The little stun magic or whatever had brought you out of your little anger fit, but you can feel panic starting to build up inside of you
>What exactly goes on in there...?

>Since you're the only one around here wearing socks, you must still be Anon
>And so far, nothing about this prison backs up your fears
>Everything's just so...
>Happy
>By your standards at least
>Warden's been acting as if this is all deadly serious, and seems like she's expecting you to be intimidated
>But they have a pool! And clubs!
>How are you supposed to take this seriously?
>This isn't a prison, it's a luxury hotel crossed with a summer camp
>A luxury hotel that you are officially government-mandated to stay in for a month
>Sweet
>"And this is your room!"
>Warden's voice snaps you out of your thoughts
>She opens the door and leads you inside
>Wait
>She just opened it? No key or anything?
>Fuckin horseland
>No wonder the guards were a joke

I'll post more in an hour or two!

>>30025134
Hi, Wand here. I was about to make/revive the thread but I thought of something.
Why make it prison when we could make it into Police and Thieves in general? That way isnt just prison and it can have the same silly universe that is the silly rules that ponies have, such as 3 hours in jail for stepping on the grass e.g.
Or some stories could actually be normals, I dunno!
Thanks for creating the thread, Physics. I'll write something when I get out of work tomorrow.
Cheers!

>>30025280
Good to hear from you, Wand! I've been away for so long I didn't know Police and Thieves was a thing. That's not a bad idea. If they're cool with it, I have nothing against merging.

>>30025134
We rally needed a pastebin list made for the writefags we had that actually finished their work, too late now I suppose since we died. I don't even remember how it happened.

>>30025323
Nobody has planned that, I had the idea so we could be more than just pone prison

>>30025280
Didn't the police and thieves thing die before AIPP died? They didn't last as long...though that might have been because people were pissed about Treehugger being involved in a few of the police stories. >>30025235
I'm going to go through your story again, its been too long.
>>30025323
They died long before this thread did, I don't think any of them are left.

>>30025375
I fully intend to finish my story for this thread, and probably write more afterwards. We won't be slipping back into the abyss anytime soon, I think.
>>30025391
Thanks for reading! I'll try and post everything on the pastebin here as quick as I can so we can get to the new material.

>>30025173
>Their criminals must be even more pathetic if they can't bust out of a place like this
>Speaking of
>It's fucking nice
>The bed is huge, and the whole room is well-furnished
>Beats the hell out of your apartment back home
>Why would you even /want/ to escape?
>"What do you think?"
>Warden looks up at you expectantly
"It's really nice! Even better than my old place. Thanks for showing me around, Warden."
>She looks a little taken aback
>"C-certainly, Anon. Now, dinner starts in a couple hours, so I'll have a guard come get you when it's time."
"Cool. Have a good one, Warden."

>You are Warden Sharp
>Poor Anon...
>He put up a brave face when you told him his sentence, but you saw right through him
>He didn't say word all through the tour, just stared around like he couldn't believe what was happening
>You couldn't either!
>Four weeks!
>He'll need someone to help him through this
>And although you'll be busy, you have the next-best candidate in mind...

>Back to being Anon the human, checking out your new digs
>Your initial suspicions of them being far superior to your old ones are confirmed
>You had your own bathroom!
>And a huge bed!
>And storage space, for some reason.
>Now that you've got a moment to yourself, you reach into your pocket and pull out your phone
>Looks like it survived whatever space/time phenomenon brought you here
>Still got your wallet and keys, too, but those won't have much use now
>You stow them in a little bedside drawer
>Warden Sharp said you had time to burn, so you figure you'll just nap
>You can see if there's any interesting clubs to join tomorrow
>You set a timer on your phone, and then flop onto the bed
>yaranaikaface.jpeg
>This bed
>This fucking bed
>How can it be this comfy
>You sink into the mattress, your consciousness already slipping...

>Wake up with a start
>...you're back in your apartment.
>You can't help but chuckle
>Talking, magical horses?

>>30025429
You are too good for this old thread, and for the people that used to come here. I will stay as long as necessary to see it at least hit 500 before dying again. Even if I just samefag and bump.

>>30025443
>College must really be fucking with you if you're having acid dreams without any acid
>You reach for your phone to check the time
>But you falter
>You can't quite put your finger on it, but something feels off
>You sit and listen, hearing nothing
>That's when it hits you
>That's what's off
>The pure, abject silence
>It should be a weekday
>And yet there's none of the usual weekday noise
>No noise from your roommate getting ready
>No noise from passing cars
>You're getting freaked out
"Emil?"
>You call your roommate's name
>You hear a giggle in response
>A feminine giggle
"Who's out there?"
>You get up, throwing the door open and rushing into the common room of the apartment
>Everything is in place
>Except for a big blue horse sitting in your armchair
"You? How are you here? This is-"
>"A dream, fair one."
>The entire chair floats and rotates, bringing her face-to-face with you
>"We simply could not wait for our sister to organize an audience, and thus we decided to visit thee ourself. Is this your old dwelling?"
>She looks all around your living room
>"Such a cramped space!"
>Oi
>It wasn't a the nicest apartment, but it was yours
>You bite back your indignation
"What do you mean, this is a dream? Aren't YOU a dream!?"
>She giggles again
>"My, flattery? Fear not. Thou have no need of it with us~"
>That wasn't a-
>Argh
>Whatever
>Let's just get a handle on what's happening
"So, if this is my dream, how are you in it? And why are you speaking like that?"
>She drops the bedroom eyes for a moment
>"We are the Princess of Night! Dreams are our domain! And, er, pardon my speech. Force of habit."
>She turns a little red
>...kinda cute
>No! Don't get distracted! She's literally inside your head right now!
>Her bedroom eyes return full force
>"You find me cute? The feeling is very much mutual. Come closer..."
>Dammit, she can hear your thoughts!
>Makes sense in a weird way. This /is/ all in your head.

>>30025448
>You also feel a compulsion to approach her, but you stand your ground
>Her eyes widen
>"A powerful dreamer to boot? If there was any doubt before, there is no longer! You shall be mine, before sister can lay claim!"
>She makes a lunge
>nope.avi
>You duck and roll out of the way, sprinting out of the door that formerly lead onto the back porch of your apartment
>You hop the little enclosure and book your shit out of the complex, blue dream horse hot on your heels
>"Halt! Do not resist! We promise you will enjoy this!"
>C'mon, dammit! This is your dream! So why can't you fly or some shi-
>You suddenly lift off into the air
"HELL YEAH!"
>You zoom off into the air, leaving the ground and your creepy dream stalker behind
>*Flap flap*
>...
>Spoke too soon
>"I can see your socks~"
>She caught up already?!
>She latches onto you midair
>How can she hold you without any hands?!
>How is any of this happening?!
>WHY is any of this happening?!
>"Magic, magic, and my attraction to you!"
"QUIT READING MY MIND!"
>"Give in to my affections! You need not live in squalor any longer!"
>You try to break out of her grip, but she's surprisingly strong
>Only one thing for it...
>You twist around
>And start tickling her belly
>"EEEEK?! Hahahahaha n-no! Cease this!"
>You don't
>If anything, you redouble your efforts
>She's giggling and squealing like a little kid
>You've got her now!
>"H-ha-ahahahaha!! N-n-n-nooo, please, I'm going to wake u-!"
>Bolt upright
>...
>You're back in your orgasmic bed in your cell
>What the hell was that?
>You get up off your bed, checking your phone
>You still had about half an hour left
>You decide to just try your best to forget about what just happened in dreamland
>If what she said was true, then there wasn't much you could do about it anyway
>You love sleep too much to give it up, and she's a princess
>Beside, you handled yourself pretty well in the dream. If she comes back, you'll be ready
>She called you a "powerful dreamer"

>>30025498
>Maybe you'll conjure up something a little more helpful than flight powers next time
>Like some T-60 power armor and a minigun
>Fuck yeah
>You kinda hope she does come back now
>You fire up some games on your phone, wasting time until you hear a knock at the door
"Come in!"
>You put your phone away
>They might take it for research or something
>In walks a male guardspony
>"Hello, inmate Anonymous. My name's Brass Badge. The warden appointed me to be your chaperone."
>He's pretty gruff-looking, but he speaks politely enough.
>He's got some sick mutton chops going on too
>Reminds you of Jet from Bebop
"Nice to meet you Brass Badge. Why do I need a chaperone though?"
>"Warden says you're a good guy who's just misunderstood. My purpose is to both observe you and see if that's true, and to help you acclimate to your new circumstances."
>Warden's already looking out for you? Nice!
>You knew she was cool
"Sounds good, man. So, dinnertime?"
>He nods
>"Yep. Let's walk and talk."
>The pair of you leave your room and head down the hall
>"Now, Warden tells me you're a human. I like to think I've been around, but I don't think I've ever seen your sort before. Where do you call home?"
>Huh
>Where IS Earth from here?
>...you doubt it's even the same dimension
"Well... It's a place called Earth. It's a ways away. Not sure exactly how far. But it's pretty decent."

>Brass Badge just nods
>"Your folk got any relation to minotaurs? You look awfully similar."
"Not in terms of genetics, no. But back home, there's a famous story of a human who beat a minotaur in a fight."
>His eyebrows shoot up
>"Is that right? That'd be a heck of an achievement! They're a tough bunch. Sound like you humans are too."
>You chuckle
"Yeah. I'm pretty tough myself."
>By human standards
>You're pretty sure you're Superman by pony standards, but you'll test that later
>Brass Badge leads you through a propped-open door, and into a large cafeteria

>>30025447
Y-You too
Thanks, Anon. Let's keep this thing going.

>>30025513
>There's a whole lot of horses in here
>And...
>...Sphinxes?
>Nah, not sphinxes, it's similar though
>Griffons!
>There it is
>There's a few of those. They have their own little group in the corner.
>And all eyes are on you
>"...that's him..."
>"...whole group of guards..."
>You only catch vague snatches of conversation, but it's enough.
>You've already got a rep
>Neat
>"Don't mind it, Anonymous. This way."
>Your chaperone leads you to the food line
>It's a buffet
>In prison
>It's so strange to you, but at this point, you're kinda starting to love it
>You load up on food while Brass Badge does the same, and then find a table
>"So, Anon - you mind if I call you that? Your full title's a bit long."
"Sure. Can I call you Brass?"
>"Sure. Now, I'd kinda like to discuss your crimes a bit."
>Here we go
>"Mind telling me what you were doing in the middle of Day Court, wearing socks of all things?"
>It's always about the socks
>Why didn't he ask about you beating up the other guards? At least that one's badass
"Look, like I told Warden, they're normal clothing for humans. and I'm not even sure how I wound up in Day Court in the first place. I didn't mean to break any laws, and I'm /definitely/ not some weirdo trying to make people uncomfortable."
>He considers your words
>"Fair enough. And you really don't remember how you got there?"
"Not a bit. Hanging out at home one minute, there the next."

>Brass scrunches his face up
>You shouldn't find that cute, but you kinda do
>"Sounds like magic was involved... But if that's true, then the Princesses will surely help you once your sentence is up."
>Right
>The princesses
"I've been meaning to ask about them. I... heard one of them can control dreams or something. Is that true?"
>"Yeah. That'd be Princess Luna."
>Luna
>Yep
>That's the same one that tried to "claim" you during your nap
>"And the other one? And what about their parents? King or Queen around?"

>>30025518
Still going to need to restart your story, I cant remember over half the people that wrote here, so don't be surprised if I don't comment on your current updates.

>>30025525
>"Princess Celestia is the other princess. You likely saw her when you were apprehended at Day Court. As for their parents, it's been millennia since the King and Queen ascended. Why?"
>Back the fuck up
>/Millennia/?
"...you're messing with me, right?"
>"Nope. The princesses have been around for a looooong time, and they'll be here a while longer too. Surprised you don't know. Earth must be pretty secluded!"
"You could say that, yeah."
>Brass doesn't question any further, and you both just focus on finishing your food
>You both get your dishes in the dirty bin and head back to your cell
>You give Brass a pat on the back as you move to open the door
"Thanks for the talk, Brass. Looking forward to working with you."
>...he's looking at you funny
>"Anon... I'm flattered, but we just met. Plus, I don't swing that way."
>What the flying fu-
>You just patted him on the back!
"I'm sorry, /what/?"
>He keeps looking at you incredulously for a few seconds
>Then something dawns on him
>"Wait, what does a pat on the back mean in human culture?"
"It's like... a gesture of friendship. But it can be for encouragement or congratulations too. Why? What does it mean for you?"
>Brass chuckles
>"Touching a pony's back below the shoulders is... flirty. Miiiiighty flirty."
>Oh god
"No homo!"
>You're safe now
>Brass just laughs
>"Just be mindful in the future, eh? Also, you got a minute?"

"Dude, I'm in prison. Time's all I got left."
>You left out the "in another dimension" part
>He doesn't need to know
>Brass opens the door and walks into your room, taking a seat at a small table
>"Warden tells me you're pretty darn strong. Wanna try and back it up?"
>Hell yeah
"Always. What's the challenge?"
>He rests a foreleg on the table, in the unmistakable posture for arm-wrestling
>"The oldest challenge there is."
>One
>You're pretty fucking sure horse skeletons aren't meant to bend like that

>>30025534
No sweat! Just comment whenever you feel like. I'll appreciate any spotted typos, too.

>>30025535
>Two
>You beat the stuffing out of a bunch of his coworkers earlier today and he's fronting up on you like he thinks he's got a shot?
>This little horse has some cojones
>You can respect that
>You throw a competitive grin his way as you take an opposing seat
"You're on. Just don't cry when you lose, okay? I'd feel bad."
>"Ha! Let's do it!"
>You enclose his hoof in your fist
>His hoof also bends slightly around your fingers
>Shit's weird man
"Count us off."
>"3!"
>"2!"
>"1!"
>"GO!"
>Brass gives a mighty pull
>And your arm doesn't even budge
>You figured this would happen
>Well, he's a cool guy, so you'll let him down gently
>Your arm begins its unstoppable trek to the surface of the table, Brass' hoof beneath it the whole way
>He's puffing and wheezing like a smoker, trying to put more strength into his hoof
>No dice
>You drive it home with a resounding "thunk"
>And shoot him your best shit-eating grin
"Best 2 out of 3?"
>He shakes his head, still breathing hard
>"Sheesh! That's my first loss in years! And you're something else! Count me out of the rematch."
>Victory is sweet
>Even when it's hella easy
>You refrain from saying that out loud, though
"Hey, Brass, thanks again. I'll tell the Warden you're doing a hell of a job getting me acclimated next time I see her."
>He looks at you curiously
>"What's that word mean? Hell?"
>Ah, you forgot
"Uh, it's a human word. When someone does something really well, they did a hell of a job."
>He doesn't need to know the other definition
>There's a lot of stuff about your world that these colorful little horses don't need to know
>"Well, then, since I know when I'm beaten, I'll leave you be for the night, Anon. Whew..."
>You're about to bid him goodnight, when you realize
>If touching a horse's lower back is lewd
>What about their belly...?
>The dream with Luna runs through your mind
>Better ask to be sure
"Hey, Brass. One last thing. Is there any other place I shouldn't be touching horses?"

>>30025547
>He turns back from the door
>"Ponies. We're ponies, Anon."
>Same damn thing
"Yeah, fine. Any other places that are off-limits?"
>He puts a hoof to his chin
>"Flank, obviously. And some ponies don't like the bottom of their hooves touched. Withers are usually alright, but it's kinda circumstantial. Nose, for certain. Oh, and belly. Deeeeeeeefinitely the belly."
>Uh-oh
"Why? What's so important about the belly?"
>Brass raises an eyebrow at you for a moment, then remembers you're not from around here
>"Well... It's highly sensitive. Ticklish. And ponies kinda... Feel really good when it's touched. Like, /really/ good, Anon. If you touch a pony on their tummy it should only be because you care about 'em. And with that, goodnight!"
>Brass leaves
>You're frozen in place
>During your dream
>You tickled Luna's belly
>She was squealing
>A lot
>And she woke up from it
>What if it wasn't because of the laughter
>What if it was because you made her c-
>NO!
>BRAIN?!
>DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT THOUGHT!
>You run into the bathroom, hoping there's enough hot water in the sink to make your hands feel clean again

>You are Brass Badge
>Former Solar Guard, and current head of prison security
>And you are very concerned about this new inmate
>When you received a missive from Princess Celestia about the new inmate, with a personal request to observe him, you knew he was going to be serious business
>The Sun Princess does not call in favors lightly, and she trusted you to carry out this task
>You'd believed it would be simple
>You saw some serious business in your days in the Solar Guard
>Border skirmishes with buffalo
>Rescue operations into changeling hives
>You'd even fought against the minions of Nightmare Moon during her short-lived return, before Princess Luna was returned to her senses
>So many tears
>So many boo-boos
>You'd thought yourself hardened against anything
>Yet this... this "human"...

>>30025543
No problem, I've taken to being a grammar Nazi for writefags in other threads, when I catch up I'll be sure to assist you in that endeavor. Though looking at your bin, it would be too much for me to do all of that, so it might take me awhile, especially since I offer the service to at least...a dozen other writefags.

>>30025555
>You didn't believe Warden when she told you about the incident with the guards
>You didn't believe that he could take a fully-charged stun spell and get right back up
>And you played off his boast about one of his people besting a minotaur
>Until you felt that horrific strength for yourself
>You are by no means a weak pony
>But your hoof is still shaking from strain
>And he showed no visible effort in trouncing you
>And he has magic resistance atop that?
>You had barely managed to keep your composure as you left, answering his final questions quickly
>You had to report this
>Her Highness had to know Anonymous was a disaster waiting to happen
>If another inmate set him off, or if he up and decided that he didn't want to serve his sentence, you wouldn't be able to do a darn thing to stop him!
>You gallop back to your office
>She'd be here soon, she wanted to hear your report in person
>You shove the door open, just as the room was filled with a blinding flash of sunlight
>Her Royal Highness Celestia, Bringer of Dawn, gazed down at you.
>"Good evening, Brass Badge. Your report?"
>You take a moment to catch your breath
"Your Majesty... After spending an evening observing the human and gauging his demeanor, I have reached my conclusion. He isn't safe to contain. Not here. He got into an altercation with the guards out of sheer anger the moment he set foot out of the carriage, and did not cease until Warden Sharp attempted to pacify him with a stun spell. The stun spell, according to Warden, was fully charged, and yet the inmate was only subdued for a matter of seconds. Not an hour. Not minutes. Seconds. I took the liberty of attempting to assess his physical strength as well. It was... I've never felt so helpless, and he was using only /one limb/. He's the closest thing I've seen to a sapient monster, and he cannot be contained here. We simply don't have the resources to-"
>"Is his demeanor violent?"
>The princess cuts you off midstream

>>30025561
Hahahaha. Yeeeaaaah, it's quite a thing now that I take another good look at it. Still, I'll be thankful for any effort you put in.

>>30025569
on it

>>30025563
"As reported, he attacked the guards-"
>"When he was angry, correct? And when he calmed himself, did he still show violent tendencies?"
"...no, ma'am."
>"Did you learn the cause for his wrath?"
"Socks are apparently normal attire for him and his folk. Taking that into account... I don't think he'd much care for the guards' usual treatment of creeps."
>Creep, of course, being the legal term for ponies, or in this case humans, who do creepy things
>Like wear socks in public
>L-lewd
>"And how did he act towards you? You met him hours after the incident, yes?"
"Correct, ma'am. He was... calm. Surprisingly so. Most first-time offenders are nervous wrecks when they arrive in prison, and yet... He wasn't. It was as if he weren't intimidated in the slightest by the idea of spending four weeks in the slammer."
>The princess' eyebrows rise
>"Four weeks? I believe I ordered him detained only until order was restored in the court?"
"Additional time for assaulting prison staff and foul language, your highness."
>"Hm... That will have to be remedied, and soon."
"Y-your highness?"
>What could she mean?

>"I wish to meet him. Did he name himself?"
"Y-yes, his name's Anonymous, but-"
>"Anonymous..."
>The princess rolls the name off her tongue, as if enjoying the sound of it
"Your majesty, are you certain of this?"
>"Yes. You said yourself the he is not inherently violent. You enjoyed your time with him, didn't you? Before he frightened you?"
>...yeah
>He was pretty nice, actually
>Some inmates can be real jerks to the guards
>Tripping them in the halls
>Shooting spitballs at them
>Rude messages scrawled on the door to the guard's lounge
>All terrors prison guards had to learn to deal with
>None of it from Anon
>Granted, he hadn't really been here long enough to cause much mayhem, but...
>You just didn't get the feeling he'd do something like that
"You're right, Princess. I... got ahead of myself. I should apologize!"
>Princess Celestia smiles

>>30025574
>"We can go see him together, then."
>You nod, leading the Princess back towards Anon's cell
>Hopefully he isn't asleep already!
>Wait
>You still have a couple questions
>As you walk, you turn to the princess
"Princess? If I may ask, do you know where Anon's from? He said his home is a place called Earth, but it seems strange to live somewhere named after dirt..."
>You miss the princess' eyes widening momentarily
>She takes a moment to respond
>"I believe Anonymous to come from another world entirely, Brass Badge. As for the name of Earth, it may seem strange, but believe it or not, I have heard it once before."
"Really? Does that mean you've met another human, Princess?"
>"What did you learn about Faust while you were in school, Brass Badge?
>Well that hardly seems relevant
>But you're not about to question the avatar of the sun
"Faust is the creator of this world, the eldest of the alicorns. She ascended even before your honored parents did, right?"
>Her majesty smiles
>"Correct on all counts but one! Faust was not, contrary to what is taught in schools, an alicorn. She was a human, from Earth."
>Wha...
>But...

"But... But Princess..."
>"Yes?"
>You're starting to hyperventilate
"That means... Anonymous... is kin to Faust...?"
>She hums
>"It's a possibility. I do not know how many humans there are."
>Oh
>Oh biscuits
>You
>Earlier
>The hoof wrestling
>YOU CHALLENGED AN ELDER GOD
>WHAT HAVE YOU DONE BRASS BADGE?!
>WHAT IF HE'S DISPLEASED?!
>[internal horse gasp]
>IS THAT WHY HE WAS ASKING ABOUT WHERE PONIES DON'T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED?!
>IS THAT THE PUNISHMENT HE HAS IN MIND?!
>You bolt down the corridor to Anon's cell, the confused princess hurrying to follow
>Maybe if you beg for mercy, he'll spare you!
>Or maybe the Princess can intercede! She knew Faust! She could calm him down!

>>30025531
Nu Art and no one has said anything? Yikes, we really are dead.

I think I'll take a break for the night. Return tomorrow for more Human in Horse Prison!

>>30025590
Oh shit, I missed that.
>>30025531
Nice art, there, Anon. That's a cute rendition of Cookies.

>>30025531
God damn, its been a long time since I saw a image of that cute pone.

>>30025602
I saw the thread was up, restoring my hopes that the General I accidentally started by keeping it from dying that first thread would stay alive. And I thought I might as well give you guys another picture of cookies, might help you guys keep going a bit longer.

>>30025134
YES! YESSS~

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>>30025134
Duuuude, I even forgot we had a mulp wiki

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>>30025594

Love it. Keep up the great green. Really enjoying this story so far.

>>30025584
GLORY!

So how many of you are hyped to see how many green and stories we get this time?

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>>30029156

>>30025555
You are under arrest for counterfeiting digits!

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>>30029401
Crim'nals.

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>>30029852

>>30025584
>You are short one layer of skin on your hands, so you must be Anon
>You scrubbed like a motherfucker, trying to wash off the shame
>You inadvertently pleasured a horse princess
>Who can invade dreams
>And may or may not return tonight
>At least you'll be ready
>You're a lot of things, but a zoophile isn't one of them
>That'd be Uncle Incognito
>A frantic knock at your door brings you out of your haze of disgust and dread
>You move to check the door, only for it to explode open before you're even halfway across the room
>A frenzied Brass Badge appeared!
>"ANON I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE A GOD PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY NO-NO PARTS I'LL DO ANYTHING-"
>Jesus Christ, what's gotten into him? What's all this about you being a god?
"Look, Brass, we talked about this remember? Neither of us are into dudes. Just calm do-"
>You're cut off when you see someone else standing in the door to your cell
>It's her
>The Great White Horse
>The one at the court or whatever
>Her name was Celestia, right?
>What could she want?
>Oh!
>Maybe she found out that this was all a huge misunderstanding and she's gonna pardon you?!
>That'd be sweet!
>You mean, not like your stay has been bad or anything, but you wanna go home
>Emil's probably losing his shit trying to figure out where you're at
>...
>You've been waiting for her to say something, but she's just staring at you
>Mouth slightly agape
>Cheeks a little rosy
>You're getting weirded out
"...can I help you, Princess?"
>Better be polite if you want out of here
>She snaps out of it
>"Oh! No, I would never impose! Rather, it is I who should be offering you my service, High One!"
>nigga wut
>She steps into your cell and makes what appears to be the horse equivalent of a bow
>"It is my honor to stand in your presence, and it would be an even greater one to serve you, Kin of Faust."
>...Faust?
>That's a human name, unless there are little German horses running around somewhere
>Have humans been here before?
>Let's roll with it

>>30030908
>Maybe you can get her to help you get home
>Tell her your people need you or some shit
"Ahem. No need for formalities, Celestia. And yes, I do indeed require your aid."
>Fucking nailed the intro
>She looks really excited too
>Like when you tell your little cousins you'll let them play M-rated games behind their parents' backs
>C-cute
>"Truly? You need only speak your desire, and I will see it done!"
>Nice
>You've got a princess fawning over you
>Dad would be proud
"I require your aid in returning to my home realm of Earth. I was parted from it by forces unknown, and must return swiftly. My people have need of me."
>She's all wide-eyed
>"A-at once! I will return to the castle, and seek any clues as to how you were brought here. If we can determine that, we can work on how to return you! W-would you like to board at the castle while you wait?"
>Blush + lip bite
>U-unf
>NO!
>She's a horse
>A strangely attractive horse, but a horse all the same
>Now how are you gonna play this?
>...
>Let's stay here.
>For one, you'll just freak out more horses if you leave the prison
>For two
>You're pretty damn sure Luna's going to be in that castle
>And that's an encounter you'd rather not have
"I shall remain here, Celestia. Your ponies may not be ready for my presence just yet, and I find my lodgings sufficient. You may contact me whenever you wish."
>You're pretty decent at pulling off this big shot act
>You just wish you knew what she was talking about
>"O-of course! You may be correct, O Anonymous. My ponies can be rather excitable. I... I will be in regular contact with reports on our progress! I'll see you soon!"
>BLINDING FLASH O' SUNLIGHT OUTTA NOWHERE
"What the fuck?!"
>You fall on your ass like a sperg
>...she's gone?
>Was that magic?!
>Awesome!
>Warden wasn't kidding!
>Brass Badge is still here, and also dazed
>He's also looking at you with a mix of fear and awe
>"I-I must beg your pardon. I didn't know you were-"
>You hold up a hand, interrupting him

Damn, when did this come back?

>>30030917
"Don't worry about it, Brass. We're still friends."
>His face lights up
>"Really?"
"Really. Thanks for bringing Celestia to see me."
>His face falls again, and he's staring at the floor
>"About that... I have a confession to make, Anon."
>Huh?
"What is it?"
>"I... I was asked to watch you by Princess Celestia. I didn't know why at first, but I guess it's since she holds you in such high regard. And she's here tonight because I was giving her my report. And... And I said..."
>Wow
>Whatever this is, it looks like it's tearing him up inside
>"...I told her you were really dangerous."
>...
>What, that's it?
"Brass... That's not something to apologize for. After all, it's the truth."
>He looks up at you
"I hurt those guards earlier, right? Plus, like with the arm wrestling earlier, I'm way stronger than ponies are. I could hurt someone by accident. You gotta help me stay out of trouble, alright?"
>He brightens up immediately
>"You got it!"
>He yawns
>"Oh... Sorry. It's getting late, Anon. We oughta head to bed."
>Cool, he's back to talking like he usually does
>Although you need to act like a god to keep up the illusion so Celestia helps you, you'd rather not be worshipped

"Alright. Goodnight for real, Brass. See you tomorrow."
>"Yeah! Goodnight Anon!"
>He heads out
>Alright
>Time to get amped out of your mind for a dream battle with Celestia's dream-stalking sister
>And figure out what you should do to combat her
>Power armor and a minigun still seems like a good option
>But should you make it shoot cotton balls or something?
>Celestia can't find out that you were trying to hurt her sister, dream or otherwise
>You don't actually /want/ to hurt her anyway
>Maybe make it shoot something sticky so she gets stuck or something?
>That'd work
>Plus, then she wakes up, tells Celestia about your badass (by their standards) combat skills, and reinforces the god image even further
>Perfect plan
>Let's do it

>>30030922
Yesterday!

>>30030930
>You whip out your phone and put on some music to lull you to sleep
>After about half an hour, you drift off
>braceyourselfabluehorseiscoming.jpg
>You wake up in...
>...where the hell is this?
>It's a big-ass hallway
>Looks like it belongs in a palace
>But there's no windows or anything
>No side doors either
>It just leads to a pair of huge, ebony doors
>With a crescent moon emblazoned on either one
>You hear her giggle
>"Come, fair one. I await you."
>Her voice is coming from behind the doors.
>It's go time
>You stride down the hallway
>You'll /make/ her understand
>You throw open the doors
>Thar she blows
>You're in a pretty opulent bedchamber
>And she's right there, stretched out on the bed
>Trying to look sexy
>...kinda succeedi-
>NO WAI-
>She's already laughing again
>Shit
>Fucking mind-reading dream horse
>"You cannot hide your desires from me, certainly not after our last rendezvous! Come to me. My belly longs for your touch~"
>Goddammit
>You knew she'd be like this
>You fucked up when you tickled her belly last time
>Now she thinks you want it
>Time to set her straight and further cement your-
>...
>That was close
>"Cement your what~?"
>She's off the bed now, sashaying towards you
>Stupid sexy horse
>She stops just short of you, her face looking up into yours
>You've got a good few inches on her
>"Give in to your desires. I welcome it."
>God mode initiated
"I'll do no such thing. I am here not to woo, but to do battle for the sanctity of my mind, Princess of the Moon."
>She pouts
>"Do I not satisfy you...?"
>She turns slowly in place, showing her body
>F-fuck
>Her body looks pretty damn tight
>Ass so fat you gotta bite your lip
>And you can't help but-
>OHGODNODON'TSHIT
>You did the thing!
>Why did you do the thing?!?
>You imagined her in knee socks!
>She's got her hungry grin back
>"So socks /do/ hold some intimate significance with your kind... Most excellent to know. Now... /Behold/..."
>Slowly
>Agonizingly slowly

>>30031262
>Long, horizontally-striped blue-and-black socks materialize up her legs
>Shit
>Your fetish
>Your dick reacts
>You will never be clean again
>Time to play hardball
"I'll ask but once more. Leave me to peaceful sleep, or be driven from my mind! Choose!"
>She merely gives another fucking impossibly sultry grin in response
>"Then drive me, if you believe yourself capable! Show me your power, o beautiful dreamer!"
>You don't need any further invitation
"Gaze upon the might of the humans, insolent pony!"
>You close your eyes and focus
>You imagine the shape and size of the T-60
>The little details
>How it moves
>Everything
>The dream starts to bend around you, morphing the very air into the metal of your armor
>As the mask seals shut over your face, you see Luna suddenly looking a hell of a lot less sure of herself
>Excellent
>Let's drive that point home
>You focus on the minigun
>What should you make it shoot?
>Has to be something harmless...
>But it still has to make an impact
>Let's go with...
>Bouncy balls
>Hell yeah
>Those super balls you used to get from the quarter dispensers
>Alright
>You visualize the gun and its rotating barrel
>The dream shifts again, materializing the gun into your hands
>Time to test fire
>Luna's eyes are saucers
>The minigun spools up
>And fires for a split second
>Bouncy balls fly everywhere, bouncing all over the place and breaking shit
>...
>Maybe bouncy balls were too much
>Fuck it
>Let's just make it a Nerf gun
>Switch ammo
>The dream bends slightly again
"You will be spared the full might of human weaponry so you do not pass out. You will experience the /entirety/ of your punishment."
>She shivers
"Now... prepare your body!"
>Spool up and fire
>Foam darts
>Foam darts everywhere
>Luna's getting pelted
>She bolts from the room
>"M-most impressive! But this amount of pain is nothing! I shall not yield yet!"
>Huh
>Well, it kinda makes sense she'd be tougher than the average pony
>You follow her out the door, into-

>>30031270
>A garden maze?
>She can do some crazy stuff with dreams
>You slowly walk into the hedges, trying to keep your mind clear so she can't get an advantage
>You can hear her moving around somewhere though
>You continue your advance until you reach a huge clearing
>There she is
>With a fuckton of guards
>She's got her own battle armor on now too
>"You handle yourself well against one! But show me how you handle this! These ponies are from an age long past, they do not fear boo-boos!"
>...do those little horses have fangs?
>Damn
>This'll get ugly if you let them get close
>And your gun won't mow them all down in time
>Time for some gun mods
>Shredder
>Except with long, rubber strands
>Like one of those big spinny brushes in a carwash
>As for ammo
>Those little snaps you can get on the 4th of July
>You summon up a back-up weapon too
>You do your best not to think about what it does though
>Luna can't know or else she'll try to stop it
>You're ready
"Bring it!!"
>You open fire into the pony army
>They charge
>It's like the final battle scene from The Last Samurai
>They're getting mowed down left and right
>Except they're just squealing and cowering when the snaps go off against their armor
>But they're still coming
>Gotta give the little horses horses credit

>They hasten the advance, trying to reach you before you can hit them
>Some of them are flying at you
>You target those first
>They fall out of the air with yelps and squeaks as the snaps hit them
>You refocus on the ground forces
>They're nearly in melee range
>You angle the mini gun barrel for your rubber shredder to do its work
>Slappityslappityslap
>The first one gets it right in the face
>You keep swinging your gun, the rubber strands laying a (light) beating on any little horse that gets too close
>You've broken their morale
>They can't even touch you, and aren't sure what to do next
>A few spells hurtle towards you
>They've got unicorns

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>>30031262

>Ass so fat you gotta bite your lip

>>30031389
>The beams wash over you before you can will spell resistance into your amor
>You're pretty much fine anyway, just dazed for a few seconds
>The guards are thoroughly frightened now
>Luna...
>Looks aroused
>Shit
>She flies over the host of disheartened guards, landing in front of them
>"Do not lose heart! Did you allow your brothers and sisters to receive such terrible frights for naught?!"
>They're starting to get amped up again now that she's going to lead them personally
>Alright
>Time to end this
>You switch weapons...
>Pulling out a Fat Man
>But not just any Fat Man
>Luna scoffs
>"A mere shoulder mounted catapult? Hardly a threat! Your previous weapon was better!"
>You scoff right back
"You think to lecture me on my own people's tools of war? Learn the depth of your folly!"
>You bring the Fat Man to bear
>Pull the trigger
>Luna's magic catches one altered mini-nuke as it leaves the cradle...
>...But not the seven other ones
>Experimental MIRV, baby
>The mini-nukes explode
>With paint
>Ponies are getting fucking coated
>The dream guards give up
>They're either flying away or booking their shit out of the clearing
>Just you and Luna now
>A paint-covered, heart-broken Luna
>She's tearing up
>"Why...? Why do you resist so? Do you like our sister more?"
>Fuck
>That face
>It's your kryptonite
>You drop your weapon

>You disengage your power armor
>Luna looks on, slightly awed, as it opens and you step out
>You approach her
>...she's a mess
>She's got a bunch of paint all over her
>Some on her face
>Her tears running trails through it
>You're kind of an asshole for doing this
>You should try and explain
>Make her understand that you don't find anything wrong with her
"Come here, Luna."
>She shakily rises, sniffling
>You gently place a hand on her muzzle, turning her face up to look at you
>You will the paint away, restoring her and her battle armor to pristine condition
>You keep your hand resting gently on her face as you speak

>>30031662
"Luna, of the Moon. I find no flaw with you. Your beauty is something that I can find little comparison to, even among the wonders of my home."
>She visibly brightens
"I am simply unready to accept your affections. I am newly come to your lands, by events I neither willed nor desired. I've tasked your sister with securing a path for my return. Even if I were to take you into my arms right this moment, I could very well leave you tomorrow."
>She's back on the verge of tears again
>"W-why? Why leave? You could rule here! No sane pony would oppose it! You are kin to Faust, you are surely destined to be here!"
>There's that name again
>Should you ask?
>...no
>Not right now
>Luna needs comfort, not questions
"Because my old parents would go mad from grief. I am their only son, Luna. As we speak, my friends likely search for me, wondering what could possibly have become of me that I would go with no trace. Would you subject them to such sadness?"
>You also had a metric fucking ton of classwork you would need to catch up on after being gone for a day
>But that's not critical right now
>Luna sniffs
>"...no..."
>You rub her face a little
>She leans into it
>"...show me your world."
>What?
"What?"
>"Show me the world of humans. Your memories."
>Well shit, it's the least you could do
>But only the good stuff

>You gently reach around Luna and pick her up
>She squeaks
>You don't even try to mask your thoughts on how cute that was
>She's also pretty light
>You change the dream
>You're back in your room in your apartment
>You set Luna down on the bed
"Remove your armor. I shall make this a comfortable experience for you."
>She blushes, but complies
>You arrange the blankets and pillows into a little nest, climb in, and pat your lap
>Luna looks ecstatic
>She scrambles over and does her best to fit her entire self onto your lap
>Doesn't quite work

>>30031667
>You pick her up again, moving stuff around and laying her down so the front part of her body lays on your lap, the back half on pillows, and then throw a blanket over the whole thing
>She leans her head against your chest
>That's one happy pony
>Right
>Showtime
>You close your eyes and concentrate, the rest of your room falling away from the bed, leaving only darkness
>At first
>You think you'll kick this off with a bang
>4th of July, in Washington D.C.
>When you open your eyes, your bed is now on the roof of your aunt's condo
>You've got a hell of a view of the Washington and Jefferson Monuments, as well as the Potomac River
>Luna's looking around, drinking it all in
>"Where is-?"
>CRACK
>"AAAGH!"
>The fireworks were massive, so their detonations could actually be felt
>She clings to you
"Peace, Luna. They are fireworks."
>She looks up and sees them, gasping
>"How pretty... Is this some festival?"
>Hm
>You could tell her the straight truth
>But you want to keep up the godlike image of your world
>Multiple nations and whatnot would somewhat cheapen that
>Let's twist it a little
"It is a yearly summer celebration, honoring camaraderie and good cheer. Fireworks are a mainstay of the festivities."
>Luna looks on in wonder, and examines the landmarks
>"The city is beautiful! Where is it? And that pillar, is it a monument? That domed building over there also stands out, the architecture reminds me of ancient Pegasi styling!"

"Yes. Both are monuments to famous humans. As for this city, it is the one of the most important on Earth."
>Her eyes widen
>"Is it your Canterlot?"
"Similar, yes."
>She accepts that
>She's content to just attempt to fuse her upper body to your lap and her cheek to your chest while she watches the fireworks
>"Most beautiful, Anonymous... Is this the city you reside in?"
"No. I live far away from here, but saw this sight when I came to visit an aunt."
>She looks up at your face
>"How many humans are there?"
>Ohhhhhh boy

>>30031676
>How do you field that one?
>You're not sure how she'd react to the real number...
>Hm...
>Plead ignorance?
"I do not know, exactly. But I have seen a great many of my fellows in my life."
>Which begets a whole other slew of questions from a rapt-at-attention Luna
>Some in a very quiet voice
>"And how old /are/ you? Are humans dominant in your world? Are there other species? W-What's your ideal age range for a m-mate? Have you met Faust? What powers do you hold? Do you like astronomy? Do you like females with hobbies...?"
>You shake your head, chuckling
>Is she trying to slip those in and hoping you'll answer unwittingly?
>Fucking cute
>You're going to tease her a little
"Oh my, Princess, I don't believe some of those questions pertain to my home?"
>...that's a bright shade of pink she just turned
>How does she do that with blue fur?
>"I-I demand you answer my-!
>Whoa
>The dream's shaking?!
>You look to Luna, who's looking up at you sadly
>"You are awakening... And we only got to see one memory..."
>You smile
"We shall just have to do this again tonight, won't we?"
>"T-truly?! Oh Anonymous, we adore you!"
>Heh
>Well
>Cuteness like /that/ can't go unpunished
>You plant a kiss on her forehead, right under her horn
>The last thing you see as the dream crumbles is her staring up you, biting her lip
>F-fuck, she's even better at that than her sister
>...
>Your eyes open, to see the ceiling of your cell

>You get up, checking your phone out of habit
>You realize you left it playing music all night during your dream adventures with Luna
>It's at about 40%
>Let's turn it off for now, conserve power
>After shutting it down and stashing it with your wallet and keys, you begin the morning trinity of activities
>Except no shave, because no razors in prison
>As you shower, you reflect
>You realize something
>You like Luna
>Last night was fun
>And it genuinely hurt you to see her so sad after the short battle against you

>>30031686
>You liked her sister too, though you'd interacted with her less
>Celestia was nice, and just as pretty as her sister
>And you vividly recall the look on her face when she invited you to stay at the castle
>Not even one day gone and a pair of ancient, quasi-immortal princesses with crazy powers wanted you
>Feels good man
>You finish up, grab one of the provided towels, and dry off, stepping into your room
>You realize something else
>Shouldn't you have a uniform or something?
>Everyone had one on back in the cafeteria
>You also don't have any proper clothes other than the ones you came in
>Right then, there's a knock at your door
>"Anon? Are you awake?"
>Brass?
"Hey Brass, don't come in just yet. Is there a uniform I can wear?"
>"Check your closet!"
>You check
>Yup
>Red prison uniform get
>After you get dressed, you head out into the hall
>Brass is there waiting
>"Good to see you found it. Ready for breakfast?"
"Heck yeah. Let's go."
>The pair of you head over the the cafeteria
>As you head in, you're met with a bunch of stares again
>You don't pay any heed this time
>You and Brass load up, grabbing a table towards the back
>You notice something
"Hey Brass, what do the uniform colors mean?"
>You can see a few different ones from here
>"Ah. Gray's low-level misdemeanors, orange is regular felons, and red is high-level felons. There's black too, but they eat their meals separately. Only the truly evil get black, Anon."
>Huh
>You're high-level then
>You continue eating and scanning the cafeteria
>The resemblance to a middle school isn't just in your head, it seems
>There's a bit of cliquish behavior at tables
>And you already know most of these horses have the pain tolerance & emotional maturity of middle schoolers anyway, so...
>Nah
>Actually
>That's kind of an insult to human middle schoolers
>Regardless, you aren't particularly worried about what they'll do
>You're a red-suit, plus you tower over them

>>30031829
>You doubt they'll even try anything with you, though there'll probably be a few guys with something to prove
>How will you handle that?
>Maybe Brass will take care of it? He's your chaperone, right?
>Yeah
>That makes sense
>You can't deal with it yourself
>You'd hurt them
>Whether physically or emotionally
>But maybe that'd be okay?
>Self-defense and all that?
>Let's ask
"Brass."
>"Yeah?"
"If someone tries to start something with me, can I defend myself?"
>He thinks for a moment
>"Well, I'll be with you most of the day since I'm your chaperone, but I will eventually have to go tend to paperwork... I'd say yeah. Just, you know, be careful. The difference in strength between you and average ponies is no joke. I can appreciate that you're a powerful being who shouldn't have to put up with nonsense like that, but it's just how bad ponies are. If someone bugs you while I'm not around, you can just get me their name and I'll deal with 'em later."
"Cool. I'll control myself."
>He chuckles
>"I sure hope so. Some of those guards you hurt are still in the infirmary."
>Oh come on!
>The worst they had were bruises!
>Little bitches
>You just laugh right back
"You ponies aren't too durable, huh?"
>That gets his attention
>"Boo-boos are serious business, Anon. Don't they hurt for you too?"
"Well, sure, but those guys from yesterday just got thrashed a little. It's not like I broke the skin, right?"
>"But bruises hurt! Ponies can't do their jobs when they're in pain!"
>Wow
>You're not sure how to respond to that
>The rugby enthusiast in you wants to make fun
>But you have an even better idea
"What's the worst you've ever been hurt?"
>Brass smirks, thinking he's going to get to show off how big of a boss he is
>"Took some changeling spit to the face on a raid. Itched. For. Days."
>That would be kind of badass
>If it did more than itch
>Now, initiate phase two
"You wanna know what one of the worst I've had is?"

>>30031839
>You have a grin on your face comparable to the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland
>Brass is conflicted
>He wants to know
>But at the same time he doesn't want to know what a "god" who can effortlessly beat up grown ponies would consider an injury
>"...sure...?"
>bueno.jpg
>You lean in conspiratorially
"Partially dislocated jaw."
>Brass blanches
"You wanna know why only partially?"
>He clearly doesn't
>You tell him anyway because you're a massive dick about stuff like this
"It didn't come all the way out. Only one side was dislocated."
>Brass bolts, a hoof over his mouth
>...
>Seriously?
>That wasn't even gory
>Aw well
>You could save your other rugby stories for later
>Or for the princesses
>Get rehab cuddles for your /terrible/ injuries
>Fuck yeah, that's an awesome plan
>You know what you're showing Luna tonight
>Rugby marathon
>Your scheming is interrupted by a voice
>"Hello Anon!"
>Oh!
>It's Warden!
"Hey, Warden! What's up?"
>She beams back
>"Just checking on our newest inmate! I hope you were comfortable during your first night in!"
"Definitely. What's the bed made out of, by the way? It's really nice!"
>She looks at you, slightly confused
>"Why, clouds Anon! What else?"
>Holy shit
>Is this nigga for real?
"How do you even make something like that?"
>"Pegasi, silly! They have the ability to touch and control clouds!"
>You'd have to meet one of these pegasi
>That sounds like it'd be cool to watch
"Neat! So, what's the plan for today?"
>"Brass Badge will show you the various clubs around the prison, and you'll pick one! Or more than one! Your choice!"
>She looks around
>"Where is Brass, anyway? He should be with you."
"He had to use the restroom."
>It wasn't a lie
>"Oh! Well, I'll wait with you then. Are you two getting along?"
"You bet. Brass is really cool, thanks for having him look out for me."
>You know that's not the only reason Brass is watching over you, but Warden was still a part of it
>She smiles

>>30031849
>"No trouble at all, Anon! I'm glad you two get along. Now, which club do you think you'll join? If you have any hobbies, then I'm sure there's a club for it!"
>She says that, but you doubt there's a club for vidya
>Probably isn't one for rugby either, the way these ponies are shaping up
>Maybe weights?
"Do you have a weightlifting club?"
>"I believe so, yes! A lot of inmates like to work out!"
>Oh ho
>Sweet
>College had royally fucked with your exercise routine, so this would be a nice chance to get some work in
"I'll check that one out, then."
>"Be sure to look at all the rest, too! Don't limit yourself!"
>She reminds you of your mom
"I got it, I got it. I'll give them all a look."
>"Great!"
>Brass comes back right then
>"Urgh... Good morning, Miss Sharp."
>"Good morning, Brass! Well, I'll let you two get to it!"
>Warden skips off
>You shoot a semi-apologetic smile at Brass
"Sorry about that pal. I thought you could handle it!"
>He gives you a look
>"Yeah, well, from now on, no more horror stories. I don't have any breakfast left in my gut to run on now, and my appetite's totally gone."
>You feel the tiniest sliver of remorse
>Just a little one
"Alright, so Warden tells me there's an exercise club. I was thinking I'd join that."
>"Sounds good. They hang out, naturally enough, in the weight room. I'll take you there."
>You both leave the cafeteria and head on your way
>A few winding turns through the prison, and you reach your destination
>A metal door, leading into a room that smells of chalk and iron
>There's a bunch of ponies in here, a couple minotaurs, and and some griffons
>All activity ceases as you and Brass enter
>One of the minotaurs calls out
>"Guard Captain. Who's the red?"
>Brass nods in his direction
>"Steel Eye. This is Anonymous. He wants to join."
>Wait
>Brass is the captain of the guards?
>He keeps talking
>"I've been assigned as his chaperone, so I'll be here observing while you guys get him squared away. No funny business."

>>30031859
Man i love this, so much 10/10 green

>>30031859
That took me a day to read was worth

>>30031988
>>30032069
I'm glad you're enjoying it! I'm taking a break for food, but I'll put some more up later tonight.

>>30032413
looking forward to it

>>30031859
>The minotaur nods, but someone else speaks
>"Hold up, copper!"
>It's a female pony
>A normal one, no wings or horns
>...she's pretty big
>Smaller than Luna, but bigger than Brass
>"Why do we gotta let a weirdo like him in? I bet he's weak anyway!"
>Oh
>/Do/ you now?
>Before you can express your snark, Brass replies
>"Sand Stone. I can personally guarantee you that Anon leaves nothing to be desired in strength. Now you let him in. Or no pudding."
>...
>Was that a threat, or...?
>Sand Stone backs down a bit
>"H-hold on! I'm just saying we should test him first. We're the strongest ones in the prison, we don't wanna have to spend time with a weakling!"
>There's a general murmur of assent
>Even from the minotaur from earlier
>Brass is getting frustrated
>"Now you listen here-!"
"Brass."
>He looks up at you
>"What?"
"I got this."
>He just looks you for a moment, then steps aside
>You step forward
>They all eye you up and down
>Sand Stone especially
"Look. You and I know talk is cheap. So just let me do a lift at my personal best weight, and then you can judge. Fair?"
>Sand Stone, after a moment more of staring at you, nods
>"Fair!"
>You walk further into the room, examining the equipment
>Most of it's for quadrupeds
>You wouldn't fit
>There's a bench rack that the minotaurs were using
>Alright, let's do that
"I'll do bench."
>Steel Eye nods approvingly
>"We'll get it wiped down for you. How much weight?"
>You think for a moment
>It's actually been a while since you tested your max on bench...
>Last you recall, you could just barely swing two plate for one
>Two plate is 225 lbs., so...
"Load 210 pounds."
>Better safe than sorry
>There's a moment of silence
>They explode into laughter
>Fuck!
>Are they really that strong?!
>You thought you had super strength by pony standards!
>What gives?!
>Sand Stone gets a hold of herself just long enough to speak
>"T-two hundred and ten?! Get this hot head outta here!"

>>30032739
>A griffon chimes in
>"You seriously think you can do that?! Look, kid, I get you want to impress us but that's just stupid!"
>Steel Eye rounds it all out
>"T-truly, youngun', you should consider your safety more. No mortal can bench 210."
>...
>...
>...
>Is this real life?
>2-fucking-10 is considered impossible weight here?
>Oh lord
>They better not let you anywhere near the squat rack
>Or let you deadlift for that matter
"Load the weight. I'll /make/ you believe."
>The laughter dies
>They're staring now
>Steel Eye speaks
>"...you're serious?"
"You gonna load the weight or not? I'm gonna blow your tiny little minds into orbit, dude. You'll need Luna's help to find your brain when I'm done."
>"Look, young one, even if we /had/ that much weight-"
>THEY DON'T HAVE 210 LBS IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING GYM?!
>"-we could not in good conscience allow you to make such an attempt. Just try some machines and-"
>Oh
>Fucking
>No
>You did not just fucking get relegated to machines like some New Year's resolutioner
>Your temper's starting to flare
>Brass can see it
>He's making eye contact with you, shaking his head frantically
>You take some deep breaths
>...
>Okay
>If they won't let you prove your strength
>You'll just have to shatter their confidence in theirs
"Fine. /You/ do some bench. Whatever weight you want. In fact, anybody is welcome to challenge me at anything. I'll match it or leave."
>Wide eyes all around
>Sand Stone speaks up
>"C-c'mon, Steel! Show him how it's done!"
>The minotaur slowly nods, still staring at you
>"Y-yeah. Steel Trap, load up."
>He and the other minotaur start loading weight onto the bar
>When they're done, Steel Eye climbs under
>Those plates look like toys, now that you look closely
>He unracks, and begins
>Steel Trap is spotting
>Are they brothers or what?
>Whatever
>First rep
>Second rep
>Third rep
>He's done
>Sweating like a mofo
>"There! 115, for 3!"
>The rest let out a cheer

>>30032746
>You, on the other hand, are really going to have fun destroying this dude's self esteem
>They wipe down the bench
>Steel Trap makes a mockingly polite gesture towards it
>"Alright, fresh face. Show us what you've got."
>You hear snickers
>That will soon be silenced
>You sit down on the bench and lay back
>Before Steel Trap's even in spotting position, you unrack
>Time to show them the power of the glorious human master race
>One rep
>Two rep
>Three rep
>Rack
>Didn't even slow down
>You sit up, not even sweating
>Jaws on the floor everywhere you look
>"Y-you...how...?"
>You snort
"Gains, that's how."
>You partially strip out of your uniform, showing off your upper body
>The ladies are impressed
>Sand Stone, the mouthy lady griffon from earlier, and a few other female ponies all have red on their faces
>The dudes aside from Steel Eye are fuming
>They know they're getting shown up
>Steel Eye's just got a thousand-yard stare going on
>One broken
>How many more?
"Who else?"
>"Me!"
>A male horse - stallion? yeah, that's the word - steps forth
>"I challenge you to leg press!"
>Little dude's digging his own grave
>You're hella strong with leg work
>And leg press is for bitches anyway
>Though since ponies can't really squat, you guess it's okay
>He loads weight onto the machine, then climbs in
>Interesting
>He's only using his back legs
>He disengages the safety catches, then starts
>One
>Two
>Three
>Four
>Five
>He's struggling
>A couple others step forth to spot
>He pulls out the sixth
>He gets out, obviously bushed
>"H-ha! Lemme see you match /that/!"
>Ask and you shall receive, little beta male
>You climb in the machine
>It's a bit of an awkward fit
>You have to get out and adjust the machine
>There, slightly less awkward fit
>You disengage safeties and begin
>You drive out for the first rep...
>Only to slam the machine against itself
>Holy shit
>What is this, 150?
>Fucking pleb
>You'll break him, right here right now
>You go double or nothing
>12

>>30032759
>Cranking them out with no drop in speed
>You get out of the machine and shoot the little nignog your best intimidating stare
"Doubled."
>He can't even speak
>Steel Trap's recovered somewhat
>"Alright, enough! I challenge you to deadlifts! 185!"
>They start freaking out
>"Trap, no!"
>"Too high, bro!"
>"Just let him join!"
>Trap's too fired up to back down
>"NO! I'll avenge my brother's honor right now!"
>He grabs a mat out of a closet, throws it on the floor, and grabs a barbell
>The other griffon, a male, starts helping him slide weights onto it
>It's ready
>But you can see he's nervous
>He's either never attempted this or attempted it before and hurt himself
>Doesn't matter
>It'll just make it more traumatic when you crank that shit out for 10
>He chalks up his hands and takes up position
>Everyone else is tensed up
>He bends down and grabs the bar
>Here we go
>He begins the drive
>Nothing happens at first...
>But the bar leaves the ground
>He's got it up to his knees
>...Cows have knees, right?
>Unimportant
>He's still pulling, but it's slowed to a crawl
>It doesn't look like he'll be able to lock out
>He keeps straining
>But gives out after a few more seconds of effort
>"Aw!"
>"You nearly had it, Trap! Good try!"
>"No worries, Trap. We'll get him with something else!"
>Like hell you will
>You're going to drive a stake through the heart of this bullshit
>As Trap steps away from the bar, you step up to it on the other side
>Facing all of them
>"Wh-?"
>"Wait! What are you doing?!"
>"Is he...?"
>Yup
>You said you'd blow their minds
>Here it comes
>You seize the bar and get in your stance
>Deep inhale
>Explode upwards
>You hit the apex and lock out
>First rep
>You stare them in the eye
>They're all dumbfounded
>You're not done
>You bring the bar back to ground
>2!
>3!
>4!
>5!
>6!
>7!
>8!
>9!
>10!!
>You set the bar down for the last time
>Two ponies have fainted
>Sand Stone can't bring herself to make eye contact with you

>>30032773
Is this from a pastbin or are you writing it?

>>30032773
>The Steel brothers look like they're about to cry
>The griffons are just staring, beaks slightly open
>You can't help but grin
"Where's all that smack talk at /now/, huh?!"
>The door suddenly opens
>"Hey guys, sorry I'm late-"
>Somebody walks in
>You turn to see-
>...
>Oh
>So /that's/ what lady minotaurs look like
>Neat
>She's got really nice...
>Eyes
>Shit, she caught you staring
>You quickly sit and look down at the mat, "catching your breath"
>You're really just praying she doesn't realize you were sperging out over her
>"What's going on in here? What happened?!"
>She's caught sight of the passed out equines
>"Magnolia!"
>Trap and Eye fling themselves at her, cowering behind her
>It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad
>"This guy-! This guy just-!"
>"He just deadlifted 185! For /ten/!"
>She slowly turns to face you
>"...you can't be serious. For ten?"
>You're starting to come down from your mixed high of testosterone and indignation
>...and realizing that you just acted like the /exact/ kind of douchebag you fucking hate to see at the gym
>Fuck...
>Damage control time
>You make to get up, only to find Magnolia leaning down right in front of you
>Sweet Jesus
>"Did you really do it?"
"Y-yeah."
>Real smooth
>You weren't kidding about her eyes earlier
>Obviously she's got a fucking dynamite rack too
>Her shirt barely contains it
>But her eyes are a nice dark green
>You try to collect your spilt spaghetti
"They weren't gonna let me join unless I proved I was strong. And they didn't believe me when I told them how much I could lift, so I kinda got a little worked up. Sorry."
>"Sorry?! Don't be sorry! That's incredible! /I'm/ sorry about how they treated you!"
>She turns and glowers at what you're now presuming to be her siblings
>"What have I told you guys about hazing folks who want to join?"
>They shake their heads
>"It was Sand's idea!"
>Sand Stone waves her hooves wildly
>"Hey, don't throw me under the carriage! I was just saying what we were all thinking!"

>>30032782
From the pasta. I'll be writing the next part once I get to the end of what I have saved up. I figured I'd just post it all here as a refresher, since it's been a while.

>>30032792
loving it ether way

>>30032783
>Magnolia stomps
>"Regardless of whose idea it was, it has to stop! It's why nobody else joins!"
>She turns back to you
>"Sorry again. I'm Steel Magnolia! What's your name?"
>She extends a hand
>You do the same
"I'm Anonymous."
>"It's nice to meet you Anonymous! And after a performance like /that/, you are most definitely welcome in the weights club!"
>Sweet
>The remaining hour in club time goes by quickly after that
>The other members apologize for what they said
>You apologize for being a massive faggot
>Balance is restored
>Everybody's pretty nice
>If more than a little in awe of you
>You repeated your set of 10 for Magnolia when she said she wanted to see it
>You have another fan now
>"Bye Anon! See you tomorrow!"
>She waves goodbye as she leaves with her brothers
>You and Brass leave shortly after
>You wonder why minotauresses look so... human
>Like, her face wasn't anywhere near as cowish as her siblings'
>Combine that with her huge tracts o' land, and it explains why she had such an effect on you
>"You did good back there."
>Brass interrupts your thoughts
>Probably for the best
"You think?"
>"Yeah. Admittedly, you went kind of crazy, but you handled it without violence and no feelings were hurt. I'm proud of you, Anon."
>You smile
"Thanks, Brass. Where to now?"
>"Well, we can keep checking out clubs if you feel like. They're scattered throughout the day so inmates can attend more than one if they so choose. Or, you can just relax in your cell. It's gonna be a while yet before lunch."
>Hm...
>You're hungry more than anything.
>You don't really feel like doing anything else either.
>I think I'll chill in my room. Can I get a book somewhere?"
>"Sure. You remember seeing the library when Warden gave you the tour?"
>Oh yeah
>You were still reeling from how not-serious all this was, so you didn't really pay attention
>But you do recall seeing a library
"Yeah. Let's go."
>You begin the journey
"How much paperwork do you have to do, Brass?"

>>30032813
>"Nothing crazy. There's a bunch of research groups that want access to you, but the Princesses have restricted them to photos and written reports. I gotta write one up, and then we need to take some pictures later so we can get them off my back."
"Alright. We can do that now, if you want."
>"Nah. Lemme figure out how I'm gonna structure it. I'm not sure what's okay to tell them, so I have to drop Princess Celestia a letter first. Since I'm priority mail now that I'm your observer, I'll probably get a reply before dinner, and then we take photos, and then I finish the report."
"Sounds like a plan."
>Arrive at the library
>Librarian looks concerned that there's a red-suit in here
>"C-can I help you?"
"Yeah. I was hoping to find some history books. Like, history of the world? When and how it was formed?"
>Librarian brightens up
>"Certainly! I have a copy of the Encyclopedia of Equestria! I'll go grab it for you!"
>She scampers off
>...
>Equestria?
>Really?
>That's like naming Earth Anthropomorphland or some shit
>Whatever
>It's the sisters' country, they can do whatever they want with it
>The librarian returns
>"Here you are!"
"Thanks. When does it need to be back by?"
>She looks confused
>You're confused
>"I'm not sure what you mean. You just keep it until you're done with it!"
>...you won't make this anymore complicated than it needs to be
"Gotcha. I'll do that then."
>She waves as you leave, and you return the courtesy
>Brass questions you as you walk out
>"What do you want an encyclopedia for? They're terrible reading. And what was that about when the book needed to be back by?"
"I need to learn more about Faust and who she was, and Equestria in general. As for the due date thing, I just kind of assumed that libraries here would be the same as libraries back home."

>>30032826
>"Huh. That's not really a thing for us. I mean, I hear Celestia's pupil has a weird system where she expects books to be returned after a week, but why not just let ponies hold on to them until they're done?"
>Strange
>At least Celestia's pupil, whoever she is, seems to get it
>What the fuck kind of library can't guarantee when it'll have its books back? What if someone else wants to read it?
>Aw well
>You reach your cell
"Alright. Unless you want to sit around and watch me read, I'll see you at lunch time."
>"Sounds good. I'll see you then."
>Brass heads off as you enter your cell
>Sit down at your little table and get reading
>At least the stuff you want is right at the beginning
>Faust
>It says in the book that she was an alicorn
>What's that? Is that what Celestia and Luna are?
>That'd be weird though
>Why would Celetia call you "Kin of Faust" if Faust wasn't even your species?
>She's supposed to check in at some point with a report on how the investigation into your arrival is going
>You'll ask her then
>But you can't do it in a way that hints at you not understanding who Faust is...
>Hm...
>You'll cross that bridge when you're there
>You keep reading
>The encyclopedia's honestly not much help with the subject
>It seems that the only testimony they have is the sisters'
>And they say Faust /drew/ the world into being
>With what? A magical pen?
>This is making no sense
>Are they expecting you to have a power like that too?
>You're garbage at drawing
>Shit
>You won't be able to keep your facade up if they ask you to show them your power
>Better hope Celestia finds that way home soon
>You feel terrible for Luna, but...
>You can't turn your back on the people you left on Earth, regardless of how nice it is here
>You read on, leaving "The Age of Myth" behind and getting into Equestrian pre-history
>Shit's gay
>There's literally no armed conflict
>Well, none as you know it
>There's pie fights

>>30032844
>And other stuff involving non-lethal ammunition and/or name-calling
>And this is /before/ civilization?
>What do they do in conflict now? Rock-paper-scissors?
>Fucking ponyland
>Ah, this looks interesting
>Nightmare Moon, huh...
>...
>Oh
>Luna...
>Jesus, /a thousand years/? And she only came back within the last decade?
>Poor girl...
>And over something so silly!
>That's kind of what happens with a failed coup though
>The leader always gets the severest punishment
>And it probably hurt Celestia to do that
>You're going to snuggle the fuck out of Luna while you're in dreamland
>1000 years alone...
>Ugh
>Moving on
>You stop reading a little while later
>There wasn't much else you needed to know
>Though this "Discord" guy sounded interesting
>He was first mentioned in the prehistory period
>So, did Faust not create him? If so, what did?
>Reading that book just gave you more questions
>And you're still really hungry
>...
>Maybe there's a cooking club around here?
>Gotta be
>Maybe they'll give you free food if you join
>You could at least fix yourself something to eat if they let you in
>You'd just have to be back before Brass came to get you
>It's not like you explicitly said you'd stay here the whole time
>Besides, what could go wrong?
>You get jumped by a bunch of pillow-wielding ponies who regard bruises as serious injuries?
>Chuckling at the thought, you head off into the prison in search of free food

>You are now Brass Badge
>Anon successfully joined the weight club after some initial difficulties
>Warden will be pleased to hear he's integrating
>For now, you have to write that letter to the princess concerning her opinion on what information about Anon should be released
>And then it's all easy paperwork until you get your response, and then you can begin work on Anon's "file" for the eggheads
>Today's going so well, and it's not even lunch yet!
>You head into your office and get down to business
>Letter to the Princess first

>>30032861
>Then processing guard reports
>Then weekly report to Warden
>Hopefully be done by lunch
>Let's do this
>You get out your pen and a short length of scroll, and write out:
>Attn: HRH Celestia
>Priority sender: Brass Badge
>Your Majesty,
>I've received a number of requests from various scientists privy to Anonymous' arrival in Equestria seeking access to him for study purposes. Knowing the import his identity holds, I thought it best to defer to you on the matter. Please advise.
>There!
>Short and to the point, like all official documents should be
>Screw those noble dinguses and their pompous ways
>Just another small reason why you're kinda glad you aren't a guard anymore
>Now, just dip it in the dragon fire candle, and...
>Sent!
>Now, let's hammer out the rest of this!
>You're midway through the guard reports when a scroll appears in a burst of flame over your desk
>Already?!
>Wow
>You knew the princess considered Anon high priority, but still
>That's crazy fast
>Well, let's take a look...
>...
>Huh
>Alright
>Better go give Anon some heads up
>Her highness wants to conduct the interviews herself, and she's coming sometime today!

>You're tall, dark, and hungry, so you're probably Anon
>You have stumbled upon the cooking club
>They were a little unnerved
>You have a bad rap
>But after some calm conversation, you are now formally inducted into their ranks
>You weren't sure about the logic of a cooking club held before lunch, but they're really more of a baking club
>They make desserts that you're /supposed/ to save for after lunch
>lolnope
>Too hungry for that shit
>They're making chocolate layer cake today
>You help out
>You're willing to accept the compromise of no food now in exchange for more food later
>You're automatically guaranteed a slice just for helping!
>Nice
>It's nearly done
>This thing's gonna be delicious

>Back to being the brassiest Badge you ever saw
>Headed back towards Anon's room
>You hope that encyclopedia helped him out

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I could paste-pasta too but nah, gonna write tomorrow this time for really
I was busy today and slept a few hours, so tomorrow shall be the return of the terrorists, the arabian trap and probably some twists

Here is chapter 9 of saddle arabia prison
https://pastebin.com/cPezbUZh

Aaaaand this is the next greentext I'll write after I finish writing pone prison
Police Anon in Manehattan
https://pastebin.com/juYvFeES

>>30032883
Hype

>>30032880
>He's probably still reading it
>Those things were thick
>Equestria had a long and not always harmonious history
>But from what you've seen of Anon, you doubt it'll even phase him
>Partially dislocated jaw...
>You shudder
>Nothing should have to go through that
>You arrive outside Anon's door, and give it a knock
"Anon? It's me."
>...
>Huh
>No response
>Did he fall asleep from reading the encyclopedia?
>You chuckle
>Even elder gods can get bored, it seems!
"I'm coming in!"
>You open the door
>No response
>No Anon
>The encyclopedia's on the table
>No bathroom light on
>No nothing
>...
>Okay
>Remain calm
>Yes, there is presently an ancient being of immense power on the loose
>But he's a /nice/ ancient being
>Except when he gets mad
>Then he's a wrathful eldritch horror with the strength of ten draft ponies, incomprehensible resistance to magic, and by reports, the foulest mouth ever heard
>Nevermind
>Time to panic
>You need to find him NOW
>To the PA system!

>Back to being nameless
>Er, Anonymous
>Cake's done
>Apparently it was a member of the cooking club's birthday today!
>You stuck around for a bit of festivities
>And more free food on top of the party games
>It was a good time
>Not really your kind of party though
>But anyways, you are now on your way back to your cell with a hugeass slice of chocolate layer cake
>Aw yiss
>You will enjoy this
>Just as you arrive, though, you notice two things
>Your door is open for some reason
>And Celestia is peering in
>Did she come to visit you?
>Alright
>Code input: tgm
"Greetings, Celestia. What brings you to me?"
>She jumps a little
>"Anonymous! I cry your forgiveness, I saw your door was open and merely thought-"
"Be at ease, Celestia. You've committed no offense. Come inside, and converse."
>You usher her in
>...did she style her hair? Er, mane?
>Same difference
>And it looks nice
>You close the door behind you, and turn to face Celestia
"If I may, you look very beautiful with your mane like that."
>She reddens

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Also reminder that anniversary of prison pone was in april
So wooo, happy 2nd anniversary guys!

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>>30032883
>pic related

>>30032906
Damn...we an old fucking thread.

Jesus fuck that's a lot of green to go through Physics. Props

>>30032901
>Fuck yeah, brownie points get
>"It pleases me that you think so, Anonymous. I come today to-"
>She cuts off
>You're not sure why at first
>Then you follow her eyes
>...
>She's staring at your slice of cake
"Celestia?"
>"O-Oh! I, er, I'm sorry, it's just... That... Looks excellent..."
"Would you like some?"
>Her face lights up
>"I certainly would! Thank you!"
"I'll split it with you, then."
>You sit down at your table, and pull out another chair for her next to you
>She sits, and notices the encyclopedia
>"You've been studying?"
"I have, yes. I wished to learn more about your history, and your written language is the same as ours."
>Alright
>This next bit's fucking crucial
>She /will/ ask if you know Faust at some point
>There's no way she could expect there to be seven billion of what she considers to be elder gods running around on Earth, so she'll likely assume that it's either just you and Faust or a small pantheon of humans
>You also have to match your story about Earth and humans to what you've already told Luna
>Time to put that silver tongue to work, Anon
>"Wonderful! And yes, Faust gave us that script. It's lovely to know that she blessed us with the same text you and your kin use."
>You just nod, and reach for the plate of cake, only to realize you only had one fork
"Ah. Pardon me, Celestia, it seems I only have one fork. I'll go get another."
>You move to rise, but Celestia rests a hoof on your hand
>"I don't mind sharing. Unless swapping a little spit with a lowly pony offends you...?"
>Oh
>Wow
>Seems like both sisters are pretty forward
>And this one's a bit of a tease, if that coy smile is any indicator
>You can't help but smile back
"I do not mind at all."
>A golden aura forms around it, and it floats out of your hand
>You can't get over how fascinating that is to watch
>Celestia cuts off a bit of cake, daintily eating it and passing you the fork
>She speaks as you cut in
>"May I ask you something?"
"Certainly."
>"What is Earth like?"

>>30032931
There is lewd in the move

>>30032949
How long have you spent writing this all

>>30032906
>>30032935
Oldie but a goodie.

>>30032952
Many late nights, Anon. And more than a little bit of time where I should have been doing something else.

>>30032947
Thanks, breh. Plenty more to come.

>>30032949
>So she's curious too
>Nice
>If you can keep this about Earth, maybe she won't ask you about your powers
>And subsequently discover your lack thereof
"It is quite different from your kingdom. But not necessarily in a negative way."
>She tilts her head slightly, mane falling over one eye
>fuckthat'scute.jpg
>"Oh? Please elaborate."
"Our world is covered in human works, in our structures and creations. Nothing can oppose us on Earth, and compared to times long gone, there is very little we do not know of it. Here, in your kingdom, there is still wild, still mystery, still... Adventure. It is rather beautiful."
>The encyclopedia told you about the Everfree Forest and other places like it
>You eat your bit of cake, and offer her the fork back
>She asks another question as she cuts off her next piece
>"Tell me of your works. I would hear what wonders you have wrought."
>Fuck yeah
>You're a science major who loves his field
>Time to blow this princess' mind
>After some light teasing
"Oh? Do you believe your mind ready for the knowledge, Celestia?"
>You allow a small smile onto your fave to let her know you're just poking fun
>She smiles back, as she lifts up her piece of cake
>"My mind is open, and ready. Bless this lowly creation of humans with knowledge of what others you have created."
>Ah, that's right
>She's technically a human achievement
"Great constructs, of steel and glass and stone, reaching unto the sky itself. We have tamed lightning, and use it to power many of our more base creations, the great machines. We bend light, put measuring stick to the flow of time, and outrun sound."
>She sure as hell wasn't expecting that
>Her eyes are wide as she eats her bite of cake
>Her mouth seems to linger on the fork, as if sucking all the frosting off
>You continue
"You and your ponies are special, however. I'd never seen anything like you before I came here."
>She pulls the for from her mouth and passes it to you

>>30033164
>"It rather pleases me that we are unique among the works of your mighty race. And tell me Anonymous, what do you create?"
>Here it is
>You think you can pull this off
"I-"
>You're suddenly interrupted by a crackling over what must be the prison PA system
>"HRGHGLINMRTANRNYMURSISTRRRTRNTRHRSCERLLERTWURNCE! *click*"
>...
>Fuck was that?
>Celestia's weirded out too, but shrugs it off
>"I'm sure it was nothing concerning us. Please continue."
>She's scooting her chair a little closer to yours
"As I was saying, creation is not my purview."
>She's confused at this
>"What?"
>Some humans, such as Faust, create. They spend their time creating things like your world. Others study what already exists, and how to manipulate it. I am one of these latter."
>It was kind of true
>Faust sounded like an artist of some sort
>And you were a scientist
>A third-year undergrad with not a published page to his name, but still a scientist
>Celestia's leaning against you now
>"/Most/ interesting... And that would be how you brought about those great feats you spoke of earlier?"
"Indeed. Your sister visits me in my dreams. If you desire proof, I shall simply show her."
>"Oh, I could never be so insolent as to doubt your word. And I am well aware of my sister's... /advances/ on you. She speaks often of it."
>...unsure of how to feel about that
>Celestia leans further into you, her voice down to a breathy whisper
>"So scandalous... Rubbing her belly, besting her in battle in her own territory with your mighty weapons, and then comforting her with sights of your world and a /kiss on the forehead/..."
>...Is this how Uncle Incognito sees horses?
>Because
>You mean
>Damn
>Luna was master of cute and the lip bite
>But her sister...
>That fucking smoldering stare is reducing you to jelly

I think that's a good place to take a break for the night. Be sure to come back tomorrow!

>>30025448
>>30025498
>dream sequence
NOW YOU FUCKED UP

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>>30025555
>not wanting to make the night princess cum
what a fag

>>30033299
Now what can i read

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>>30032861
>>You're going to snuggle the fuck out of Luna while you're in dreamland
NOW YOU'RE GETTIN IT

>>30033237
>>Some humans, such as Faust, create. They spend their time creating things like your world. Others study what already exists, and how to manipulate it. I am one of these latter."
FIX

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I used to talk shit about greentext stories, but these are really well written. You've opened my mind, Physics.

>>30033818

>Der späte Vogel kann mich mal

That's just... wrong. And it makes no sense at all

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>>30033237

>>30033299
You fucking better, faggot

>>30033237
Well I just got done going through the updates when I noticed they were just copy an pasted from the bin, all in all, no big grammatical errors. Looking forward to the new stuff.

Man am I glad Prison thread is back
Please don't die already guys
Please

>>30036856
I'm not going to let it die, do you worry, Anon. I might write up a new one myself, if I feel inspired enough today.

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>>30036856
time

TO DIE

Ohh shit. Hey guys. Was just rewriting some stuff thinking about this thread last week in between getting work done.

I missed you fucks.

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>>30036856
>>30037566
I suddenly have the urge to mix thingpone into marshmallow pone prison for maximum spookiness and shenanigans.

Maybe her and Anon share a cell together and she's always escaping and getting caught again.

>>30033358
>>30033577
Elabor8, m8. I'm not sure what you mean.
Also, bump for inbound green. Just need a little bit and then I'll get started.

>>30037787
https://pastebin.com/9j3DS4Vt Here's the green with some minor rewrites.

I actually need to find the doc where I had a lot of stuff and notes written that I kind of dropped when the thread was kill. I'll start posting again if/when I do. I barely remember what my train of thought was.

>>30038786
thank

>>30037566
Six years? What was his crime?

>>30038538
looking forward to the injection

>>30025134
was just thinking of this thread a few days ago, praise cookies n' cream, best guard p0ne.

>Lurking intensifies

>"It makes me happy that you would show such kindness to my overeager sister even after she pestered you so much. At one point, I was truly afraid that we could possibly anger you. But now... All I wish to know... Is what I have to do to be graced with your affections...?"
>Holy shit, this is fucking hot
>You've never had a girl come on this strong to you before
>But wait
>You're kind of already romancing her sister
>Is this okay?
>You're not exactly a paragon of virtue
>But you like to think you're a man of decent morals
>And this feels wrong
>You attempt to pull away from Celestia
>Keyword: attempt
>She simply leans all the more, maintaining bodily contact with you
"Celestia. If you already know that I care for Luna, then why do you still come courting?"
>She softly laughs
>"Because I do not think an existence such as yourself should be limited to a single outlet for his love."
>...
>Boner
>This is a terrible fucking time for you to show up
"A-And Luna agrees with that?"
>Shit
>Couldn't keep the stutter out of your voice
>A smug smile works its way onto her face
>She's making a /really/ convincing case
>You slowly get out of your seat and back up, finally breaking contact, except she's following you
>"Yes. At least, she will."
"You've not asked, then."
>"It simply slipped my mind. When she told me of all the things you did for her, I could contain myself no longer. I came here to do this. Obviously, learning more about you was a treat, but..."
>You've backed up against the edge of your bed, stumbling
>Before you can right yourself, she gives you a light push
>You fall onto it
>"...Not quite the treat I was looking for."
>She crawls onto your chest
>Fixing you with those eyes the whole time
>Your dong is at maximum expansion
>This is happening
>You're about to sink to the same depraved depths as your good old uncle
>So why are you looking forward to it so much?
>She's leaning in
>You can't help but start to lean up to meet her

4chan's being autistic and isn't letting me reply to my old posts. Sorry for any inconvenience.

>>30039764
Its cool, its happening everywhere else.

>>30039764
How was your steam user again?

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>>30025134
O SHIT IS BACK

This shit is now lit senpai

>>30039764
man i need more

>>30039764
h-herro
is that all

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>>30039756
Oh yes

Sorry for lack of green, lads. 4chan's a bit fucky.

>>30041095
test

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I decide to write 2k of update and 4chin decides to not let me post.

<Previously, on ‘Anon in Saddle Arabia’s prison’!

>”Go to the library, secure a book of hoofprints and take the witnesses out and blame the hueman for it.”
>That voice… it was The Boss in the radio

“H-Hey! What gives!”
>Your whole body couldn’t move on its own! This is not hot! You mean… this is not good!
>”Welcome to the family”

“I plan to challenge those guards of the Saddle Arabian prison to a duel! 3 duels! The winner takes everything!”
>”And if we lose?”
“We can’t lose. But if somehow we do end losing, we’ll do whatever they want.”

Be Anonymous
>You were going to your prison cell along with Silver Pie to help you figure out who wrote the letter and have any information of value.
>As far as you know, you need a book in hoofprints to see which creature wrote this.
>Silver Pie has concluded that no pony wrote it, but it was another creature.
>All you know is the hoof on the signature it's in shape of a heart, and that's it.
>Maybe there could be any clue in your prison cell.
>Still... hard to believe that there is one or more terrorist in this prison and a mastermind behind it.
>Who could it be?
>"Well, we're here." Silver Pie says, interrupting your thoughts. "Show me the mess and I'll see what I can find."
>You open the door to your cell, the cell was still the same after you went searching for Silver, the parts of Pancho scattered all over the room.
"Here you go."
>You two close the door behind and Silver Pie pulls out a magnifying glass out of his fedora, soon starting to investigate the scene.
>"This shall take only a minute..."
>You cross your arms while you wait for the detective to do his work.
>You look around, eyeing the corners of the cell room, inclusive feeling if the temperature of the room was kind of different, but nothing.
>It's as if Blue and Red Candle disappeared.
>...They could still be playing hide N seek.
>Probably Blue hiding his dick inside's Red's transparent horse vago.

>>30041906

>You keep wondering if that blowjob was a joke or a real thing.
>"Well." Silver Pie stepped up with a bag that he was grabbing with his hoof. "This is all I could find."
>In the bag there were crumbs... hmm, that is weird. You don't remember eating cookies today.
>"These were all around the box. Whoever wrote the letter and destroyed the box, must really like to eat cookies before or after crushing boxes."
>You scratch your chin and try to process all the information that you got.
>The letter could have been written by someone of this prison.
>Or this prison's security system sucks so hard even terrorists can enter and exit like nothing.
>Then again... there was the kidnap of Nightly Veil from days ago.
>You stare at Silver Pie who was staring at the ceiling with a deadpan expression. He must be thinking of possible suspects.
"Since I trust you and you seem to be a more mature pony than the rest of the prison all together..." You cough on your fist. "Let me tell you so far what I think is happening in this prison."
>Silver Pie raise an eyebrow and putting back his magnifying glass back to his fedora, he nods at you.
>"Go on."
>You cross your arms once again and go in deep thought while talking, recollecting everything thus far.
"Days ago, a colt was kidnapped and nobody knows how the terrorists entered the prison. And now, my disguised imaginary friend, Pancho, gets entirely destroyed for doing nothing, literally."
>You close your eyes while taking a deep breath, boy this was surely going to take long to explain.
>But you know Silver Pie will get it all.
"Question. Who let the terrorists or whoever did the kidnap and this vandalism in?"
>Silver Pie only took five seconds to come up with an answer, not even returning the answer as a question.

>>30041919

>"So." Silver Pie starts moving from side to side, thinking deeply as you were. "What you are saying is there are spies in the prison."
>You shake your head.
"Not just spies, I think there could be terrorists acting as prisoners, even guards for some bad reason. I don't like this, I don't like this at all."
>Silver Pie was taken aback by your comment, maybe he didn't think of that entirely.
>"So this puts everypony as suspects, even the warden..."
>Hey, hey, wait up there!
>Shorty is more good than the bread! There is no way he was behind this too.
>Although...
>Okay no, don't jump to conclusions without proof.
>Pancho, the box, they wanted it for something.
>Sombra or whoever was that guy, he's the main suspicious in this one.
>Cookies... there is a pony- no, a creature here that is involved with cookies. Is that or just, as silly as ponies are, decided to eat in the smashing of the box.
"I don't think the warden is a suspect. But there could be a guard or someone here moving the threads."
>As you were thinking for more information in your little human head, Silver Pie decided to once again investigate the box.
>"Mhmm."
>He gets up and stands to look at you.
>"Well, let's update the information so far. Apparently, there were two creatures in your cell. Whoever was the vandalism, he or she hit and bit the box." Silver Pie pointed to a part with barely visible saliva. "Look, there are tiny teeth marks."
>Lewd
>You mean-
>Someone bite Pancho? Now that's weird. What kind of animal would do that? Damn, wish these prison cells had at least cameras to see what happened.
>"Well, we better move on to the library. The faster we get there, the sooner we'll know the creature that had the signature on the letter."
"Seems like a plan."
>"Let's be quickly and get in there before somepony gets before us. If I were the mastermind of this, well, first I would call myself dumb enough to be the mastermind and leave a darn letter with a signature that gives away who I am."

>>30041928

>Yeah, silly ponies.
>...Uh, now that you think... maybe this could be a trap.
>Speaking of traps, wonder how Shorty is doing?
>You open your door cell and nod at Silver Pie.
"Right, let's move!"

Be Short Fuse
>You were doing alright at the moment.
>Wish your night bat guard and friend was doing the same.
>You are at the barracks of the night guard, where Lima was lying on a bed crying and crying as she had a picture of her and Nightly Veil.
>There is nothing we can do to make her smile, not even the songs from his close friend Zakon work.
>If you lost your brother, well, even when he was... a selfish son of a breezie, you would cry.
>Well he wasn't the best of brothers... and he always got the cutest dresses... and he got a job as a movie star... and he is probably married by now... and he got his cutie mark first then yours... and he...
>You knooow, maybe you should change the topic again.
>Zakon never left Lima's side the moment he heard the bad news.
>And nights weren't the same as the corridors could be heard a sad screeching.
>You do remember saying that whoever was behind this, would get a lot of time in jail.
>Maybe that isn't enough, but the responsible should do extra hours to Saddle Arabia and say sorry to every prisoner and guard.
>And hopefully the backup you requested would be coming soon. They told you a royal guard or captain would come as soon as he could from the Frozen North.
>Wonder who it is? Maybe he's strong, brave and can handle every situation!
>Hopefully he doesn't get affected by the change of weather, you heard that the Frozen North is so cold, only yaks can survive in that weather thanks for all that fur they got.
>The door of the barracks open and Nurse Redheart enters, holding on a plate carefully with her back a bowl that had soap in it.
>By Celestia, her balance is so perfect!

>>30041935

>"I know you are still sad about your little... uhmm, "tiny mango", to be... temporally gone. But you can't just stay in bed and cry! You need your vitamins and be strong!"
>But Lima would just whimper under her pillow.
>Nurse Redheart left the bowl on a table near the bed of Lima, calling the attention of the bat guard, removing the wet pillow from her face
>Nurse Redheart looked at Lima with determined eyes.
>"You are a night guard... you need to be strong for him! I don't know what having a little brother is." She then whispered to herself. "I... wish I knew what even having a son would be like sometimes. "Then she spoke loudly so everypony in the room could hear her. "But listen! Whining and crying won't get you ANYWHERE! You need to be strong! You need to be brave!"
>Nurse Redheart placed both her hooves on Lima's shoulders, startling her slightly.
>"Is this what you want your tiny mango to see? Do you think crying will solve it? Pony up, Lima! Your little brother just had bad luck! We will find him and we will get you both together again!"
>The words of inspiration coming from Nurse Redheart... filled you with awe. But not only you, but Lima too.
>And your tail just stood up as you keep staring at Nurse Redheart. Was her flank always like-
>O-Oh wait! You aren't just looking at her flank!
>You are...
>Y-You are just thinking how her clothes would look if you wore them!
>...Not the ones he's wearing!
>Oh Celestia your tail won't get down anytime now...
>Suddenly Lima started to tear up.
>But it wasn't just the melancholic crying she had the past days... it was a crying out of happiness.
>Lima stood up and hugged tight on Nurse Redheart, thanking her for the words.
>She really needed that kind of words and support.
>And woo, hugs... lewd, heh...
>Okay, that isn't lewd. That is just... friendship.
>Yeah, friendship. A FRIENDSHIP HUG!
>You bit your lower lip as you thought if you could get one or more friendship hugs from Nurse Redheart.

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>>30041939

>Aaand your tail just knows what you want as it stays up.
>Good thing this warden uniform makes your dock invisible for everypony.
>And just like that, the old Lima was back.
>"You are right! I should look for my tiny mangobro out there! He needs me! He needs her sister! I won't cry on his name, I will find him!" She raised her hoof and cheered on. "And I will have the responsible of the kidnap locked for an entire month without dessert!"
>Whoa
>A bit too much there?
>You are the warden still; you should see what the punishment for whoever did it is.
>Or well, a judge would be a better option.
>Hmm, wonder if your tail did calm-
>You sigh as you try to hide as best as you could your raised tail from the rest of the ponies in the room.
>How awkward.
>Suddenly, the door of the barracks was open and behind it, an earth pony guard with the royal helmet of the guards of Celestia came inside floating with her winged boots.
>It was Light Cloud in all her blonde mane beauty.
>The lucky mare that got in the royal guard of Celestia and has a spirit of iron.
>Oh, and she brought cookies with her! Yummy!


This is for tonight because 4chan is fucking being gay and not letting me post much

Don't you guys love friendship hugs?

>>30041942
I love friendship hugs, but I love green even more

>>30039756
Also Physics, what was your Steam? I got something in mind and we need to talk.

Thank god, finally the best thread is back, god bless you all

>>30038786
Found it. Thank fuck gdocs saves old versions of things too because I had gone over it with some other green and there was one or two updates I didn't add to the pastebin because the thread I last updated in must've died prematurely and I didn't care to at that point. I only remembered there was something missing because I drew for that update. I lost the picture though.

>>30041975
What's yours, breh?

>>30042509
Rewrote the stuff I didn't have saved on pastebin.

>Heading back at a brisk pace, you feel worry creeping up on you.
>Cookies seemed to be really upset with Roughwind.
>And you left them together.
>Alone.
>Stationed guard dogs point you in the right direction.
>Luckily they’re around or you’d never find your way back.
>One last turn out of a seemingly arbitrary side tunnel, you find your crew huddled up by a corner, in front of the locker room.
>Jotter’s ears perk up once he notices you and he silently beckons you over.
>Cocking your head in confusion, you creep up to the corner and edge forward as much as you can, without being spotted.
>A bustling crowd of lower rank ponies- your ponies, encircle Cookies and Roughwind.
>”Say, could to teach me to be that tough? I’ll do whatever you say.” A stallion begs the disguised guard.
>You recognize him as the rude orange suit from earlier this morning.
>Cookies tilts her sunglasses up, lazily looking him up and down.
>She snorts, “Not interested.”
>Roughwind points a hoof at him, chirping something in a harsh mocking tone, causing him to cry and run away.
>You suppress the urge to lunge out at the stallion and throw him into one of these lockers.
>The little breezy bumps hooves with Cookies.
>It seems she’s made quick friends with your new, most violent gang member.

>>30042684
>”Please?” A meek looking stallion throws himself at her hooves. “He’s got Jotter and the other red suits pushing us around. I was even ordered to gamble! We have families that we want to get back to.”
>Jotter jumps in place and tries to move in for damage control, but you stop him, pressing a hand on his chest.
>He looks up at you questioningly and you mouth, “names” making writing gesture with your hands.
>He nods in affirmation.
>”A-and I bet you could beat that scary hyoo-men up,” a mare says in a hushed tone.
>”That’s Hoo-man to you, mare,” Cookies corrects “Besides, the master thing is more out of respect. He’s gone his own way and improved greatly. My work here is done,”.
>She’s starting to really get into character.
>If amusement didn’t outweigh the concern, you’d probably do something about it.
>The mare bows her head and edges back with a whimper as Cookies hits her with one of her best glares.
>In fact, the glare seems to set off an aura of unnerving fear to all the ponies within light of sight.
>You’ve never felt so betrayed.
>A primal growl escapes you as you hurl yourself forward, gently pushing through the crowd of panicked ponies.
>Your very presence was the last straw on the hoses back, each of them, save for Cookies, running around in a full blown panic.
>The traitorous ponies whinny in fear as they’re not mercilessly thrown aside.
>You easily reach over and lift Cookies up from the mess of rowdy ponies.
>She yelps in surprise as you press her close, storming off whilst grumbling under your breath.
>Only you get to have Cookies’ best glares.

I may be getting that same problem were I can't reply to my own posts. I understand that may stop samefagging but this is really gay.

>You’ve helped her hone it over the year you’ve been friends.
>Sharing something so cherished hardly sits right with you.
>She relaxes a little, deeming herself safe in your arms but still fidgets uncomfortably.
>Those ponies will sleep well tonight knowing that you didn’t confront them directly.
>Not yet, anyways.
>”Anon,” Cookies whimpers in a hushed tone. “Thanks… That was really dangerous.”
“You seemed to be doing fine on your own,” you growl.
>She looks up at you, smiling warmly. ”...Maybe I would have been okay, but it was nice of you to have my back. You too Roughwind.”
>The little guy scoffs at her again, displaying a smug grin.
>The look she gives you only warms your heart.
>Maybe you can forgive and let her off the hook just this once.
>...
>Nah.

>>30041975
Cuchulainn of Ulster

bump from 9

>Anon and Luna are thrown in prison for illegally trying to terraform the moon to make what Anon calls a "cuck shed"

I just want to say I love and missed these threads.

tfw I'm getting connection errors for a different reason now and can't update.

does anyone have links to some of the older threads?
I was writing stuff but then the threads kept dying and the stuff I wrote also died, eager to continue where I left off

>>30044334
I tried looking too because I also had some lost green. No luck. The only archive I've ever looked through while the others died was thisisnotatrueending but that's only for /tg/, and /qst/ now.

I'm going to let my update sit for a while until I find out what exactly sets this thing off aside from post replies.

>>30044334
The people who made the old threads constantly switched between 'pone prison' and 'pony prison' which has made this a pain in the ass to get, but here you go.

http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28963034/#28963034
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28807595/#28807595
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28726947/#28726947
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28629711/#28629711
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28432847/#28432847
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28231542/#28231542
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28076393/#28076393
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27840272/#27840272
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27754619/#27754619

>>30044532
thank you good friend

>>30042509
Same as my namefag

>>30045570
>>30044409
>>30044328
>>30041360
If you haven't already fixed your connection error problem, use the "post reply" at the top of the page and post your reply there. It should take you to a separate captcha asking you if you are a robot. Fill it out, it took two tries for me, and you should be good to go.

>>30039756
I fucking swear to sweet baby Christ if you don't post more of this right fucking now I will lose my shit entirely

>>30045643
Yeah, I did that yesterday.

>>30045713
Slow down there satan

>Your faces are inches apart-
>"Anon, you better be in here!"
>OHFUCKWHAT
>Both you and Celestia are startled by the sudden shouting
>Your door bursts open
>In barges an angry Brass Badge
>"Look, I know you can control yourself, but you can't just-"
>He sees you and your "guest"
>Dead silence
>"...Ah. Well. I see the princess found you. I'll, uh... I'll go now."
>He backs out of the room, closing the door behind him
>Goddammit Brass
>You took the mood and dropped a fucking nuke on it
>Celestia's beet red
>She must not have been expecting any interruptions
>Or she's just not into being public with her affections
>Either way, you're not letting this opportunity pass
>"W-Well... Shall we-eep!?"
>You flip the positions, pinning the horny pony princess under you as you straddle her belly
"I'll admit, you nearly had me there, Celestia. You and your sister's charms are quite effective on me."
>You lean in, getting a good look at her light-purple eyes
"However..."
>You run a hand up her belly
>The gasp that comes out of her mouth transforms your dick into a diamond rod
>You used to love making your ex-girlfriend make those same gasps
"I like to be on top."
>You keep rubbing, nothing like the brief tickling you gave Luna
>Celestia's head lays back, tongue lolling out of her mouth
"Now... Were you a good girl? Did you look into what brought me here?"
>"I... I-ah!-am personally leading... The investigation-mm!-High One... But..."
>She's gonna give you an ego trip if she keeps calling you stuff like that
>Doesn't mean you don't like it though
>She looks meekly up at you, equal parts lust and hurt in her eyes
>"Do you truly wish to leave us...?"
>You rub into her belly even harder
>She moans, throwing her head back again
"I must. If Luna related our conversation to you, you would understand my reasons."
>"B-But-! Ahh~!"
>You don't let her finish
>You're having a hard time convincing yourself you have to go home as it is
>Two princesses lusting after you plus godhood?

JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST, FINALLY

>>30046526
>Still, you couldn't keep this shit up forever
>They're bound to find out you're not actually a god sometime
>And then you'll be fucked
>Not in the sexy way, either
>You had to go home, back where you belong
>And hopefully graduate college despite the derailment this whole incident caused
>As sad as these two princesses would be...
>It had to be done
>Celestia musters up the willpower and effort to look at you again
>"I beg you to-unh!-reconsider! Stay with us! Luna and I-"
"Are lovely. The both of you. But I will not be shaken on this."
>Accept it
>Accept it
>For fuck's sake, just give up, Celestia
>You can't handle any more temptation
>Celestia leans back, sadness apparent on her face
>Success
>But at great cost to your conscience
>You lean in close
"Do not despair. For whatever short time I am here, I will give you all the affection you desire."
>Her eyes light up
>"T-Then... A kiss..."
>You can't help but smile
>Such an innocent thing to ask for
"Of course."
>You lean in, and gently meet her waiting lips
>She doesn't seem to initiate any tongue, so you don't either
>Maybe she's not into that
>Regardless, the kiss lasts until she finally breaks it, gasping from your continued assault
>"I... I can't... I'm going to..."
>Alright
>Think Anon
>What'd Brass say about where you shouldn't be touching ponies?
>...
>The nose was one
>Is it erogenous?
>Time to find out
"Do it. Succumb to the pleasure, Princess of the Sun."
>You bring one hand up
>And press it into her nose
>Her eyes roll into the back of her head as she squeals
>Round one is your victory
>She lies collapsed on your bed, panting
>You move over her and take her head into your lap, stroking her mane
>She coos at the extra attention, rubbing her cheek into your leg
>"T-Truly... I was unprepared... Such pleasure..."
>Heheheh
>She ain't seen nothing yet
>The sex hasn't even happened
>And it's gonna happen
>You're too turned on for it to not
"It's not over, Celestia. A moment's rest, then we continue."

>>30046545
>Celestia looks up at you, slightly confused
>"It's not...?"
>...
>Does she have no stamina? A one-n-done? All you did was foreplay at best
>Wait
>What if-?
"Celestia, how do ponies reproduce?"
>She turns beet red
>"H-How indeed... Well... Copulation...?"
>Alright
>So she knows what it is
>That's a start
"And you know how to perform it?"
>She averts her eyes, answering in a tiny voice
>"...belly rubs...?"
>...
>Faust
>Wherever you are
>This shit is ridiculous
>You can't just create an entire fucking world
>And have the populace reproduce through belly rubs
>Like
>How does that even-
"And that produces offspring...?"
>Her face is so hot she might light your pants on fire
>"Y-yes..."
>Alright, you've badgered her enough
"You rub her face comfortingly
"Forgive me. It is simply... Different from human ways."
>She shrinks a little
>"Did I displease you...?"
>Aw fuck
>Reel it in
"No, no. I was simply confused for a moment."
>"How do the humans do it? Do you-?"
"I'm familiar with it. I am more than happy to teach you, if you think you are ready."
>You're still horny as a high school freshman, but...
>You're no Bill Cosby, and you refuse to leave this world a criminal
>...well, you refuse to leave as a sex offender at any rate
>...Is public indecency a sex crime...?
>Whatever
>She has to be okay with it
>You look down at her, awaiting her response
>She's pretty clearly torn
>On one hand, she wants to find out what it's like
>On the other, she's worn out from the rubbing you gave her earlier
>Maybe the noseboop had something to do with it too
>Plus, from her point of view, you're essentially going to be enacting some freaky elder god rite of offering her body to you
>You'd be freaked out too
>Let's decide for her
"Never mind, Celestia. I can see that you are not ready."
>"What?! No, I can! I wish to-!"
>You place a finger over her lips
"We shall try another day. For now, rest."
>She relents, resting her head in your lap again
>"Can we at least cuddle?"

>>30046562
>Cuddle a giant, strangely attractive horse whose fur feels like sun-warmed velvet?
>Hell yeah
"Certainly!"
>You readjust yourself until your head is right next to hers, and pull her in tight
>She wraps her hooves around your chest and extends a wing over you both
>This
>This is great
>Time passes
>You're not sure how long
>Both of you were too content to care
>But she eventually makes a little sigh
>"I've been away too long. I should return to the castle."
"You sure?"
>She laughs lightly
>"I'm just as comfortable as you are, but yes, I must. This was lovely, Anonymous. Thank you."
"Call me Anon."
>Her cheeks turn a little red
>"Such an honor..."
"It's hardly an honor, Celestia. All those that I respect or care for may call me such."
>"T-Then... I shall visit you again soon, Anon."
>You both get up, and you open the door for her to leave the cell
>She turns to you
>"And when I do..."
>She leans in
>"/Teach/ me."
>She vanishes in another bright flash
>You're kind of ready for it this time
>After rubbing your eyes a bit, you try and figure out what to do next
>...
>Brass
>He walked in on you
>He's pretty bro-tier, but you can never be too sure
>Better go make certain he didn't tell anyone
>You head off down the hall towards his office
>You knock on the door upon arrival
>"Come in!"
>Open the door
>Brass makes eye contact with you and freezes
>"Anon! Uh... Er..."
"It's fine, Brass. Just don't tell anyone, yeah?"
>He shakes his head
>"Nobody'd believe me if I did anyway."
"Cool. So when's lunch?"
>He looks at you for a moment, then snickers
>"Anon, lunch ended half an hour ago!"
>You were cuddling Celestia that long?
"When's dinner?"
>"In five hours. You've got a long wait ahead of you, pal."
>Fuuuuuuuuuuuck
>At least you still had some leftover cake from your trip to the cooking club
"Alright... When you're done with whatever it is you're doing, can we go check out more clubs or something?"