Herd Thread 2

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>>30020999

Alright, y'all. I've got work and shit, so I can't be the only one posting in here. Keep it alive and I'll drop chapter 2 out of my bin tonight.

Also, shout-out to the Anon who posted all of Leafs shorts from yesterday on /gtpone/. Good work, mate!

>>30021014
Thanks for starting No.2 I'm behind a desk most of the day. I'll try to stealthily check-in via my phone randomly during the day.

>>30018552
>>30018612
yeah, those gave me the most keks. to tears practically.
for reference:
>>30013276
>>30013574
but they are all good!

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Alright good thread.

If nothing else we need to live long enough to figure out where we're taking this thread.

I've got a post over in AiE asking how they'd feel about us moving over there.

We could always go to a weekly thing. Revive it once a week just to check in, like the Sunday Sunbutt threads.

And /gtpone/ will always be up during the week.

>>30020999
Nice trips.
But greens, etc don't have to be about
>...forced marriage/polygamy...
Wiling polyamory/herding is ok, right?

I'm this guy >>30001534 and I for one would have jumped at the chance to start or join a herd. Not just because of the sex either. I mean; yeah, I want that too but it's not the main thing for me.
I'm an old fart now. I know some of the shit I've seen or been through would've have been easier to handle had I had herd/group-mates for support. Sure, other difficulties would arise but nothing that the herd/group could handle as a whole.
What does it say about a society that would rather shame and oppress then be accepting and compassionate? Where a bunch of people seem to get schadenfreude from their words and actions. All because some folks want to face life as a herd/group together.

Sorry, Anons. I triggered myself. I'm going to go for a walk. Be back later.

>>30021088
Phone bump M8
Just noticed I had dubs.

ayOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>30022094
>>30021088
Ok, end of day for me. I got to start the commute home. I'll be off-line for a couple of hours. I do hope someAnon can keep an eye on the thread.

bump from 8

Leaf dropped a thing before it got deleted...for some reason
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30020547

>>30023118
ah, geez. just when I thought Anon would catch a break.
kek

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>>30023118
Huh, wonder why?

(Life In The Herd: New Mare 2)

>The Herd Assignment Company gave you a full refund.
>Sweetie Belle was sent back to her sister and scolded.
>There was no way you were going to have a filly in your herd.
>You wait at the table with Trixie.
>In apology for their mix up, the herd company is sending another mare your way.
>Trixie was very angry about the mix up.
>She's currently in a post-tantrum sleep, drooling on your arm as you stroke her head.
>If you had gone to jail for filly fiddling, she had the most to lose.
>It would be back to the cuck shed (your name for her old cart) for her.
>There's a knock on the door and you go to answer.
"Hello?"
>Standing on your porch is a beautiful unicorn.
>She has a silky pink mane and her pure white coat sparkles in the morning sun.
>You can't believe your eyes.
>They bulge and scan her long delicate legs.
>She gives a wave, "Elloooo~"
>Oh god, she has an accent!
>"My name iz Fleur De Liz..." She mumbles and stumbles to the side a bit.
>You notice her face is flushed and reach out to steady her.
>As you grab her hoof, she burps
>And sprays your shirt in vomit.
>You jump back as she falls onto the porch.
>"Oh, I am zo zorry! I waz zo nervouz and maybe I drink too much before I come..."
>Fleur drifts into a drunken sleep.
>Octavia pushes past you, grabs Fleur, and drags her inside.
>"OI! GIRLS, WE GOT A LIVE ONE! LET'S BREAK 'ER IN!"
>You grind your teeth and grab Fleur's bag off the porch to bring in.
>It makes a lot of noise.
>You open it up to find it filled with several bottles of alcohol.
>They sent you an alcoholic.
>Of course.
"Why would anything good ever happen here?"

>>30023356
(Life In The Herd: Fleur De Plz)

>You are currently out on a date at a restaurant with the new addition to your herd.
>Luna has stayed at home to keep an eye on the other ponies.
>She's actually most likely asleep.
>Fleur sits on the opposite side of the table, drinking a glass of wine.
>Alcoholic or not, this unicorn is a serious looker.
>She reads the menu and gives a little hiccup, brushing her pretty mane from her eyes.
>You can't stop staring.
>It's almost as if she's too pretty for you to think about defiling...
>Nah, you're totally going to wreck her ass.
>Tonight.
"So, Fleur. What do you like to do in your free time?"
>She smiles at you and sips her wine.
>"I am very interezted in ze exotic danzing. Zer iz a local club where I am frequent danzer."
>You almost choke on the water you're drinking.
"E-Exotic dancing? Like... What?"
>Fleur giggles and twirls a hoof, "You know, like ze um... Twirl around ze pole and ze stallionz go 'WOW!' and throw ze money at me?"
>She's a stripper.
>A fucking pony stripper.
"I see... Um, is that all you do? Just... Dance?"
>She gives a seductive look.
>"Oh no. Ze cuztomer will require more... Perzonal releaze occazzionally."
>Nope.
>Fleur sputters with laughter and covers her mouth.
>"I am only joking, Anon! Your faze! It iz too cute!"
>Your stomach un-knots.
"Oh thank god! Haha, I thought you were serious! I can't see you actually being a stripper!"
>Fleur finishes her wine.
>"Oh, I really am ze exotic danzer. I am zcheduled to danze tonight, actually."
>Your smile drops.
>Fleur holds up her glass and shouts in the direction of the waiter.
>"More wine pleaze! Can you juz bring ze bottle?"
>Trailer trash.
>Your whole herd is trailer trash.

>>30023356
Oh shit, it's time for more of my favorite trailer trash ponies.

>>30023356
>>They sent you an alcoholic.
>>Of course.
>"Why would anything good ever happen here?"
kek

>>30023496
>Your whole herd is trailer trash.

Fucking noice

>>30023496

>Fleur

Yes. I need this. I need Anon to fuck her senseless, Leaf.

>>30023496
I'm sure she's fine for a pump and dump.

I want to be in Luna's herd and be forced to make love to her guard stallions for her amusement

>>30024627
why are you awful shitposters in every fucking thread

could you please make humanity a little better and just kys

>>30024832
Reddit, the dumbest collection of subhuman animals outside of Afrika and the middle east decided to visit.

>>30020999
man it is good to see my old creation come back to life. now if only the casual/public sex general would come back

also nice jesus trips bro

>>30023496
>>Trailer trash.
>>Your whole herd is trailer trash.
are there any greens about the pony version of trailer trash, or would that just be earth pony farmers like applejack?

>>30021334
Herding is a RGRE thing, just go there

>>30025343
there is nothing reverse gender about this thread.

>>30025493
You really should learn to stop giving them attention, it only encourages it.

should this general continue? if not then why?
should it go into another general?

AiE is too large already, and too general. might as well post in the general general thread while you are at it. the whole point of having more specific generals is so you can find the content you like more easily.

some people suggest RGRE, but there is nothing to make any of the stories here fit in there. some people think that herding has to be a reverse gender thing, and i really don't know why.

>>30025511
No harm in merging with RGRE, if you just go RGRE/Herd so people are free to do both, no lie that stuff does over lap.

>>30025524
too general, and no this stuff does not overlap

>>30025511
>>30025524
I vote to continue these threads and allow both non-RGRE and RGRE greens.
I agree AiE has soooo much content it is already difficult enough to find the stuff you like.

>>30025524
fuck off.

>>30023496
My side

>>30025524
>free to do both
>so we can read some shit and got more faggot to bump
>has to be a reverse gender thing
I think your brain has damage autistic.

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>>30025524
NOT GOING ANYWHERE BITCH NIGGGGGAAAAA

>>30023496
(Life In The Herd: Drunk Asshole)

>You are drunk.
>It's Friday night and you need to decompress from work at the factory.
>And from your abysmal herd.
>Speaking of them, all your girls surround you on the couch as you drink away misery.
>Luna and Fleur sit on either side of you.
>Trixie is curled up on your lap.
>Lyra is beside Luna, and Octavia comes from the kitchen, giving you another beer.
"Thanks, Octavia."
>She plops down beside Fleur and joins everyone in staring at the TV.
>It's not on.
>You take a long drink of beer and sigh.
"Fuck, man. Fuck..."
>Trixie stirs, "Anon, this is fun and all... But can we watch a movie or something?"
>You gulp another drink.
"No. We're gonna sit here and enjoy silence. Fucking. Silence."
>You grab Fleur and pull her closer to you.
>She smells like cheap booze and stripper.
>Octavia speaks into Fleur's ear, "'EY, I DON'T ENVY U. ANON TURNS INTO A RIGHT ARSEHOLE WHEN 'E DRINKS HAHA! GONNA TEAR UR ARSE UP, I FINK."
>It's true.
>You can be a bit rough when inebriated.
>And you haven't had sex with Fleur.
>But you're very sore from work.
"Nah, I think i'm just gonna drink and go to bed tonight."
>There's a palpable tension in the room.
>Trixie raises her eyebrow, "No... Sex?"
>You shake your head.
"I need another beer."
>Luna picks you up with magic.
"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK!?"
>She takes you off the couch and toward the bedroom.
>"We were all expecting to be pleasured tonight, Anon."
>The girls all follow.
>"It's your duty to the herd."
>"OI! LYRA, GRAB THE LUBE!"
>You see Trixie grab a candle from the table and light it.
"Wait!"
>They're not listening.
>It's a sex frenzy brewing.
"Grab me another beer!"
>"I GOT U MATE! I GOT THE CRISPS TOO!"
>Another usual Friday night in the herd.

>>30020999
This is interesting. I'm genuinely having fun reading these. Thanks.

>>30026696
(Life In The Herd: Like A Virgin)

>Fleur twirls gracefully around the pole in front of you.
>Her tail just barely grazes your nose and you clap.
>Tonight, you've come to see Fleur dance.
>Luna has come as well.
>As your alpha mare, she felt compelled to come to "protect you from whores," as she put it.
>Though, her presence is a bit troublesome.
>Seeing the Princess in the club has made several stallions come and ask if she was here to dance.
>The song finishes and Fleur bends down on stage to pick up the money thrown to her.
>"Anon, come backztage. I will take you to my drezzing room." She winks and rushes off.
>Finishing your drink, you adjust your semi-chub and get up.
>Luna follows you backstage.
>Once in Fleur's room, she gives you a small bag.
>Opening it, you see it holds several bits.
"What is this?"
>Fleur brushes her mane in front of a mirror, "Zis iz your cut, az they call it. Zince you are the herd patriarch, it iz my duty to 'elp zupport you. Az you do for me."
>A herd member actually GIVING you money?
>Noice.
"Well thank you, Fleur. Your dancing was amazing too!"
>Fleur sets down her brush.
>"I am zo happy to hear you enjoy my danze!"
>God, she's pretty.
>"Now will we have zome fun?"
>She's fun.
>"I alwayz wanted to loze my virginity in zome alleyway. Iz zis fine?"
>She opens a door.
>Outside is the back alley of the strip club.
>"Zere iz a large dumpzter zat will keep uz hidden from view, ya?"
>She's classy.
>You sigh.
"Is this REALLY what you want?"
>Fleur nods giddily.
"Alright then..."
>What a weird mare.
>You follow her along with Luna into the alley.
"Are you really a virgin?"
>Fleur puts her front hooves on the dumpster and looks back at you, flipping her tail over her back.
>"Come find out."
>You shrug and unbutton your pants.
>It's not like there is much difference between trailer trash and real trash.
>This is your life.

I wish I could fucking draw. I really want to make trailer trash herd art.

>>30026767
(Life In The Herd: Saturday)

>It's Saturday morning in your happy little home.
>Once again, your headphones have gone missing.
>You suspect Octavia borrowed them again.
>You open the door to your room.
>Luna has Fleur pinned against the wall.
>You'd think they were fighting.
>If Luna didn't have her tongue down Fleur's throat.
>They stop making out and stare at you.
"Uh, what's... What's going on in here?"
>Fleur wipes her mouth, "I am teaching the prinzezz 'ow to danze!"
>You slowly back out and close the door.
"Carry on."
>Still bummed about your headphones, you head to the living room and sit down on the couch beside Lyra.
>She's messily eating a bowl of cereal and watching her Saturday morning cartoons.
"Hey Lyra. Have you seen my headphones?"
>She's clearly high on her sugary cereal.
>"Nope. Do you want some?"
>She presses a spoonful of soggy mess in your face.
"No thanks."
>Octavia flops down and takes the remote, changing the channel.
>"NO FILLY CRAP ON THE TELE!"
>Lyra slaps her and takes the remote back, "IT'S MY TURN! ANON! TELL HER IT'S MY TURN!"
"Octavia, have you seen my headphones?"
>Octavia pushes Lyra off the couch and claims the remote.
>"Nah. Did u check ur bedroom?"
"Yeah. Shit..."
>All you want to do is listen to some tunes.
>Trixie walks into the room.
>"Anon, Luna and Fleur are making a disgusting mess all over your bed. Do you want me to stop them?"
>You rub your chin.
"I swear I left them on the coffee table..."
>There's a loud moan from down the hall.
>Trixie's eyes grow big, "Was that Luna? Anon, I'm going to join in."
>She leaves and Octavia gets up.
>"Yeah, me too. Nothing good on tele anyway."
>She throws the remote at Lyra, who happily turns cartoons back on.
"Maybe I left them at work?"
>"ANON! GET IN HERE! U WON'T BELIEVE WOT LUNA FIT INSIDE HER SNATCH! BLOODY 'ELL!"
>Lyra bounces up and down on the couch beside you.
"Can't believe I lost those things..."
>No tunes today.
>Looks like it will be a rather boring Saturday.

>>30026891
(Life In The Herd:

>"YE, U LIKE THAT? U LIKE IT WHEN I POLISH UR KNOB LIKE A SLUT?"
"Octavia, please don't say anything."
>"Oh, right. Just suckin' then."
>She goes back to giving you head.
>The girl has a voice like spoons in a trash disposal, but she sucks dick like no other.
>You lean your head back onto your pillow and enjoy the ride.
>She stops again, but only to spit on your shaft, rub it and continue.
>"Yeah Tavi! Suck it good!" Lyra shouts from her seat at the foot of the bed.
>Octavia stops to glare, "WOT THE 'ELL U FINK I'M DOIN'!?"
>Fuck.
>You grab Octavia's head and push it back down.
>Trixie grumbles from right next to your head, "Trixie sucks Anon much better than that."
>Luna's dreamy voice comes from the other side of your head, "You use far too much teeth. And not nearly enough saliva, as Anon likes."
>Fleur speaks up from her seat beside the bed, "Zis remindz me of ze time a ztallion at ze club waz kicked out for trying to zuck ze malez off in ze bazroom. Heehee~"
>You let out a loud sigh.
"Will you all let me have a moment of peace? I'm trying to fucking cum here!"
>Octavia stops sucking again.
>"U wanna cum? WHY DIDN'T U SAY SO?"
>Without warning, she begins pressing her hoof hard against your ass hole.
>You slap her hoof away.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
>"TRYIN' TA FIDDLE UR PROSTATE, WOT THE FUCK IT LOOK LIKE, MATE!?"
>You kick all of the girls out of your room.
>Sometimes it's better to pleasure yourself.
>You masturbate in anger as your herd argues outside your door.
"This can't be healthy."

>>30027140
Eh fuck. That was called (Life In The Herd: Proper Head)

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Bump, and do not merge with RGRE ever. Never change.

>>30027140

Bruh this is the most entertaining shit. Hell I'll learn to draw just to give you herd trash if you keep up the goodest greens.

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I said I'd post Chapter 2 this weekend, and the weekend is here. So brace yourselves for walls of text.

>>30028361
>"This wallpaper is simply dreadful, darling."
"Amen to that." you laugh. "It'll have to go."
>"Noted." Jim Beam nods, making a note on his clipboard.
>Upstairs Rarity fawns over the natural light in you potential office, but refuses to go outside on the balcony.
>"Anonymous, I can see just fine from here, I refuse to place my life in the hands of that deck!"
"Your loss."
>"I have to agree with Miss Rarity, to a degree, boss." Beam chimes in. "While it isn't an immediate danger, it is lacking in structural integrity."
"Very well, I was just going to have it restored and repaired, but I suppose you recommend a complete replacement?"
>"Yup."
"Give me an estimate for repairs and for replacement." you sigh. "We'll see what happens."
>After a tour of the bedrooms (Jim assures you the tile can be salvaged for reuse) your group makes its way down stairs.
>Walnut finds you as Jim inspects the main fireplace.
>"Anon, a word?"
"What's up, Wally?"
>"I've made my assessment." he says, handing you some papers. "The important floors can all be restored. A few rooms on the east end are rotten or water damaged beyond repair."
>You share a look with Rarity.
"Thanks Wally. You sticking around or heading home?"
>"As inclined as I am to vacation on your dime, I really do need to get home." he replies. "Besides, I suspect I'll be spending plenty of time here in the coming weeks."
"Nothing is set in stone."
>"Uh huh, see you in two weeks." he says, waving on his way out.
>Rejoining Jim, the three of you complete your inspection of the house.
>"I'll get in touch with the usual contractors and get a few quotes. Obviously Walnut will send his own. I should have a preliminary total in a few days."
"I have a meeting with Gabe, the realtor, in six. Will you have it to me by then?"
>"Not a problem. Contractors work best on a deadline anyways." Beam nods.
"I appreciate it, Jim. And thanks for coming on such short notice."

>>30028371
>"I overheard the princesses discussing your...situation, while I was dropping some paperwork off at your office in the palace." he shrugs "So this job wasn't that much of a surprise."
>Note to self: tell Twilight that the princesses should be more discreet.
>Also: All of Celestia's and Luna's projects are of lowered priority.
"Yeah, it sure is something." you grimace. "Anyways, thanks again. I'll keep an eye open for those bids."
>Beam leaves, and you and Rarity lock up behind him.
"So Rares, what do you think?"
>"Hmm, well I can see why you like it." she hums. "It certainly has a sort of charm to it, though it will need a lot of work."
>She stops, and you look down at her.
>"Anon, look me in the eye and tell me you are fit to start this project."
>Meeting her gaze, you can sense real concern.
>It surprises you -enough that you pause to truly consider her question.
>Taking a moment, you consider her words for a moment as you walk.
>It was going to be a lot of work.
>You weren't going to get much rest.
>Twilight was going to be on your case constantly.
>...
>No...
>You won't let the negatives stop you.
>You turn back to your friend and meet her gaze once more.
"Yes, Rarity. I can, and will, see this through."
>The mare smiles back as you resume walking.
>"Then I will help you as much as a mare can."

>Wearing your favorite jeans and a hoodie, you made your way to the field down by the river.
>You have been aware since the afternoon that Rainbow is following you.
>Rarity spotted her while you were out on the deck with Jim.
>But hey, you figure you can lure her into practice and sick AJ on her.
>So now you walk towards the group of ponies huddled around the Apple siblings.
>"A-anon!?" one of them gasps as he notices you.
"The one and only!"
>"Told ya we got a new secret weapon!" AJ beams.
>"Won't be a secret long, though." Big Mac drawls. "Not after we destroy the Stormers."
"Thunderlane's still using that name?" you ask, joining the group.

>>30028378
>"Some things never change, Sugarcube."
"Say AJ, what would you say if I told you Rainbow is here?" you asked in a hushed tone.
>"Say what now?"
"Look in the trees by the road I came in on." you nod.
>AJ surreptitiously glances that way under guise of grabbing something from her saddle bag.
>"Well I'll be... what's she doin' up there instead of down here?"
"She's been following me. Rares pointed it out."
>AJ chuckles.
>"That sounds like Rainbow alright." she says grabbing a rope from her bag.
>She ties a few knots then eyes the tree again.
>Like lightning, the rope shoots from her grasp, and she bites down hard on the rope, pulling mightily.
>With a yelp, a startled blue pegasus is dragged from her hiding place among the leaves.
>Big Mac grabs the rope and the Apples reel in the struggling Rainbow Dash.
>You simply sit on the ground and watch with your new teammates.
>"Welcome back, Rainbow!" one of them cheerfully greets.
>You look around, appraising the team.
>With you, the Apples, and Rainbow Dash, you'd be unstoppable.
"Hey Rainbow, you up for some pass-plays?"
>"Uh, h-hey Anon." she stumbles. "Y-yeah, let's play some hoofball!"
"You gonna stick with us for the games?"
>"I can't. Work-"
"If your work schedule changes?"
>"Uh, yeah. It's not like I wanted to quit."
"Alright. Where's that pigskin?" you say, getting up and clapping your hands together.

>The evening progresses quickly, and you take over the offense.
>Big Mac still calls the defense, and he's got a real knack for it.
>It's simple, clean, and brutally effective.
>Your offense is now a huge threat.
>Well, it will be.
>Needs a lot of practice.
>Rainbow is fast as always, but she's a bit rusty in that whole 'catch the damn ball' department.
>And the old QB, you've sent him back to where he began: Tight End.
>But he's also rusty, and needs more time to get in the game.
>You've got almost two weeks to practice still.
>And, if nothing else, you had a lot of fun and worked up a good sweat.

>>30028383
>Heading back towards town, Dash catches up to you and lands.
>"Hey Anon, that was great! We're gonna smash Thunderlane in the next game!"
"Yeah, I think we have a good chance. The work is really going to be on Mac to stop their run offense, I don't think we'll have any trouble putting points on the board."
>"So AJ told me you know I was following you-"
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you were just trying to figure out how to help Twilight."
>"Heheh yeah."
"You working tomorrow?"
>"Nah, I took a few days off to follow you." she admits.
"You up for a couple of beers on me?"
>"Dude, are you kiddin' me? When have I ever turned down free beer?"
"When have you ever missed practice?"
>"I know, I know." she sighs. "I still don't know what to do about my schedule...
"Don't worry about it." you smile. "I've got a plan for that."
>"Alright dude, but if it doesn't happen I'm telling AJ it's your fault."
>You laugh, and lead the way into your old favorite bar.
"Hey Dusty, been a long time." you say, sliding into a seat at the bar.
>"Anon, good to see you! Visiting or staying?"
"Staying for a while." you say as Rainbow drops into the seat next to you. "Two of whatever's good."
>The older stallion stops to think and then pours two tall glasses.
>"Cider fer Rainbow, and a Hefe fer you, Anon."
"You remembered!"
>"Never ferget a regular." he nods sagely, then turns to a couple down the mahogany a ways.
>You shoot the shit with Rainbow for most of the evening.
>Her stunts, the latest adventures of the Elements, your projects, everything and anything.
>Eventually the beer starts to do its job, or the cider does at least.
>After an awkward pause, Rainbow gets real.
>"Anon, look. I'm not good at this mushy stuff."
"Hahaha you're telling me. So is this about why you were spying on me?"
>"No! Wait, yeah! C'mon Anon, you know what's goin' on here."
"I do~" you say with a smirk.

>>30028393
>"Anon! Knock it off, man. Like, just tell me what you want in a mare and I'll get right on it!"
"Alright, I think that's enough for tonight." you say as she finishes her cider.
>You pay the tab, and help Rainbow into the night.
>"Anon, come on, throw me a bone here!" she whines, leaning against you. "You tell me you want a shy pegasus, and I'll leave Flutters tied on your doorstep! Just give me a hint!"
"I'll not have you kidnapping ponies for me."
>"So no kidnapping, but the shy pegasus-"
"I'm not interested in Fluttershy, Dash."
>"She's a cute mare!"
"She is cute." you agree "But as you'll recall, Rarity already tried that. We're better as friends."
>"Aw man, but-"
"She had a nervous breakdown when we went on our first date, and I ended up in the hospital after our third. Fluttershy needs someone with a less active lifestyle."
>"Ooooh, I get it! I got it! Don't worry Anon, I know just the mare!" she says taking shakily to the air.
"Rainbow..."
>Before you can object, Rainbow Dash zips off, taking an erratic route towards her cloud home.
>You furrow your brow as she disappears into the night, then turn towards the Crystal Castle.

>The next morning you're reading the newspaper while listening to Spike airing his grievances.
>Treated like a child, unpaid, overworked.
>You know, the usual.
>Can't blame the little guy.
>He's been like this for about six months now, after he finally realized that Rarity was just humoring him.
>Rainbow Dash, god bless her, cannot keep a secret when she's drunk.
>She's not even the Element of Honesty.
>And now that he isn't fawning over Rarity, Spike has taken fair appraisal of his life.
>But that's Twilight's problem.
>As you read over an article about the most recent hoofball game, last night comes to mind.
>You decide to pay Fluttershy a visit, then maybe take a walk through Whitetail Woods.
>Folding the paper, you start for the door before remembering something else.

>>30028402
>You go to your room and scribble a brief note to Celestia, and grab a few bits.
>Returning to the kitchen, you spy Spike washing the dishes.
"Hey, Spike?"
>"What's up, Anon?"
"If you could send this message to Celestia I'd appreciate it. Bits are yours." you say, dropping the items on the table.
>"Really? Sure, thanks Anon!"
>Too easy.
>It's amazing how a little show of appreciation can make him happy.
>You hum idly to yourself as you walk out the door.

>With a knock, you arrive at Fluttershy's.
>She opens the door with some trepidation, but relaxes when she sees that it's you.
>"Oh, um, hello Anonymous. Come in, please."
>You make your way inside, and she leads you to the kitchen.
>Looks like she just finished breakfast herself.
>"So, um, what can I do for you Anon?"
"I just came by to see how you were doing." you shrug, watching as she puts on a kettle.
>"Oh, well, you know, nothing exciting."
"Naturally" you smile. "How are the animals?"
>"They have their days." she sighs. "Most days they're just a delight to be around, but sometimes..."
"I take it today isn't most days." you frown.
>"It's just that Angel Bunny has been sick, and without him to help, the animals can get a bit rascally."
"What's wrong with him?"
>"Just a nasty little bit of Bunny Pox, he'll be fine in a week or two."
"A week or two? That sounds kind of serious."
>"Well, I never let him get sick like that when he was little, and Bunny Pox gets worse as you get older. But he'll be fine, he just needs to rest."
"There's no medicine for it or anything?"
>"Zecora could probably help..."
"But then you'd have to go into the Everfree." you say, nodding in comprehension. "Not a problem. I was going to go walk in Whitetail Woods, I'll go to Zecora's instead."
>"Oh, Anon! Thank you!" she squees, hugging you tightly.
"Not a problem. Can't have the best vet in town getting all stressed out."

>>30028423
>Tea is served, and you settle into a nice little conversation, admittedly you do have to ask a lot of questions just to keep her talking.
>She's really a nice girl, if a bit socially inept.
>She very animatedly described her visit to the Fillydelphia Botanical Gardens.
>Apparently they have extensive avian and butterfly gardens there.
>She just lit up describing it.
>But soon she had to go take care of some of her animals, so you rose to leave.
>"Anon, um, before you go?" she speaks up at the door. "I'm sorry, about last time..."
"Hey, you and I are different people. That's fine. You're okay with us as friends, right?"
>"Oh thank you, I'm just glad you aren't mad at me." she smiles sweetly.
>You run your hand through her mane, and then you're on your way.

>Be Fluttershy
>It was lovely to talk to Anon again.
>He was so patient with you, even Rarity wasn't that patient.
>Anon has always been so good to you, he deserves a special somepony in his life.
>You may not be very good at this kind of thing, but gosh darn it you knew more about Anon than most ponies.
>Maybe as much as Rarity.
"Rarity..." you mumble aloud as you clean the henhouse. "Her and Anon would be so nice together."
>It occurs to you that you have a spa date with her today.
>You'll have to talk with her about some mares for Anon.
>It would be good to be prepared, you just know Rarity already has a long and useless list in mind.
>She'll have arranged every mare in town in order of most to least cultured.
>Anon only ranks halfway up that list himself, probably.
>You giggle to yourself remembering how uncomfortable he was in that suit on your first date.
>Good thing you lightened the mood by accidentally tripping that other tables waiter.
>Filthy Rich is a big jerk anyways.
>What was it Anon said?
>"I don't know why he's complaining, he's usually covered in whine from that brat of his anyways."
>Smiling at the memory, you start considering your friends in town.

>>30028430

>Be Anon.
>Already a mile into the woods, and it is dark and verdant.
>You always loved the way the light filtered through a dense forest.
>Especially in the fall.
>The bronze mats of fallen leaves underfoot, the silver trunks of the trees, and most importantly the bonfire pallet of the turning leaves above you, brilliantly illuminated in the mid-morning sun.
>Several times you pass squirrels or deer, and once you spy a coyote.
>It still bothers you a little how... managed... the wildlife is in most Equestrian locales.
>Takes some of the excitement out of running into the odd woodland creature.
>Suddenly the trees open up into a wide field.
>You stop and look around.
>Tall grass covers the meadow, with the forest continuing on the other side.
>You're pretty sure you've never been here before, so that must mean you missed a turn somewhere.
>Well done, Anon. Bravo.
>Henry the Navigator, right here folks.

>You spot a pony across the meadow though, so it is unlikely that this is a particularly dangerous area.
>Tan with a dark red mane, maroon maybe? Hard to tell from here.
>You're pretty sure you've seen her around town before.
>Either way, you're lost, and you have no map, so off you go to meet a new pony!
>Wading through the grass, you realize that the pony is gathering some sort of, well, it looks like sumac to be honest.
>Never know in this world though.
>Peach honey, blue strawberries... grocery shopping was a trip when you first landed here.
"Hey, uh, can I ask you a question?" you say as you get close.
>Turning to face you, the pony drops the polesaw she was using and wipes her brow with a hoof.
>"Hi, yeah. Unless it's about the sumac, I've already filed on this field.
"So it is sumac, neat." you reply. "But no, I don't need any of that. I need some directions. I was trying to get to Zecora's but ended up here."
>"Oh, sure!" she chirps brightly. "You must have come from over by Fluttershy's, right?"
"How'd you know?"

>>30028449
>"She's a friend, so I come from that direction a lot. It's easy to end up here instead of on the path south though if you're not paying attention or don't know where you're going."
>Ouch, your pride.
>"I'm probably going to Zecora's after I finish collecting here, I could just show you if you want."
"As long as I'm back in town by three." you say with a shrug.
>"Hot date?" she asks smugly.
>You just laugh as she takes up her polesaw again.
>After watching her for a few minutes, you realize that you can make this go a lot faster by being twice her height and having hands.
>You pick up a pair of clippers she has with her, and get to work gathering.
>It speeds things up a lot, and the bush is soon clear of its deep red berry clusters.
>"Show-off" you hear her mutter under her breath.
"Sorry?"
>"Nothing, nothing." she smiles. "Thanks for the help. Let's get to Zecora's in time to get you back home."
>The two of you proceed into the forest, Roseluck leading the way.
"I don't really have a date, you know."
>"Are you sure? Rarity is clever like that."
"How do you know I'm going to visit Rarity?"
>"Because no one buys more flowers in Ponyville than her." she smiles. "And Rarity loves to talk."
"That she does." you laugh. "But Rarity and I are good friends. Nothing more."
>"I think that's what she thinks, too." she grins slyly. "But some ponies are more observant."
"Some ponies are very nosey." you counter.
>"Pays to know your customers."
"You know, I just realized, you have me at a disadvantage. You are...?"
>"Roseluck, Anon. But you can call me Rose."
"Very well, Miss Rose."
>"Just Rose. I'm no princess."
>You smile at that.
"You know quite a bit, I may have underestimated you, Rose."
>"Now that could be dangerous. Mares are wily." she quips.
"So is it Rarity or Fluttershy that talks about me?"
>"That would be telling. But I'll let you know, just this once, that both do. And a few others from time to time."
"I never knew I was so popular."

>>30028468
>"Many single mares seem to find you quite the catch. I can't wait to see who you pursue." she answers with a twinkle in her eye.
"Do you share the things you hear, Rose?"
>"Sometimes. I always try to help my friends." she looks at you with genuine curiosity. "Why?"
"Do you know why I'm back in town?"
>"I assumed it was the dam. In that interview you mentioned it."
"I did. Good interview. But no, I am, not entirely willingly, on the market."
>A pause.
"For multiple mares."
>"That explains why I've been hearing so much about you all of a sudden."
"I hope Fluttershy is okay with it."
>Rose gives you her most sincere smile yet.
>"Don't worry about 'Shy, Anon. She's grateful that you helped her as much as you did. But she's very happy just being your friend. Like I told Rarity, her social anxieties are something she needs to work through with a professional, not a special somepony."
"I'm becoming suspicious of how much you seem to know, Rose."
>She ignores your statement.
>"I do know a mare who will be keenly interested in this news." she muses quietly. "So tell me hot stuff, why a herd, and why now?"
"The answer to both is 'the princesses'"
>"Your alpha mare is a princess?"
>You have to stop while you laugh, taking a knee while you catch your breath.
"Oh God, ohhhh. Oh man, no. No no no."
>"What's so funny? I know Princess Twilight has eyes for you."
>Note: save that info for later.
>It does explain a lot.
"I am not, and I never have been, dating a princess." you assure her. "I don't really know the first thing about herding, it's something I'll have to ask Rarity about later today."
>"So the princesses are making you form a herd?"
"Yup."
>"I'm gonna guess...you're well off, smart, but a non-pony. I'll go with four."
"I wish."
>"Three?"
"Wrong direction."
>"You're complaining about having a large herd? Also, five."
"Yes, and no."
>"You'll come around to it, Anon. You just need to meet the right mares."

>>30028489
"Well, I'm letting the Elements find them, so hopefully that works out. I get to relax and have fun while they figure this mess out. I should point out that it's all Twilight's fault this happened."
>"Those six are a little...crazy, when they're together at least. Also, you said no to five?"
"Twilight is better with the others to balance her. And that is correct, five it too low. Shall I tell you?"
>"Six. It has to be six."
"Seven."
>"Seven!?"
"Seven." you nod grumpily. "We're here."
>Before Rose can respond, you knock on the door, summoning Zecora.
>"Ah, Anon! My foreign friend, what helping hoof may I lend?
"Zecora, it has been a long time. Next time you're in Ponyville you should look me up so we can catch up. Sadly though, I am here on business today."
>"I'm glad to hear you're back in around, I shall stop by when I'm in town." she smiles warmly. "But you say your visit has a cause, but you did not say what it was."
"Angel Bunny, Fluttershy's rabbit, is sick with Bunny Pox. She said you might have something to help him?"
>She ponders and begins to look over her various remedies and herbs.
>"All poxes are their most severe, in beings getting on in years. But for the rabbit you will find, a helping friend in starfruit rind." she says, handing you a sack of the fruits. "Rub the creature once a day, to help the pox fade away."
"Wow, that's simple. Thanks Zecora!"
>"Zecora? I've got some things from my latest trip..."
"I'll leave you ladies to it, I need to get back." you say, making your way to the door. "And thank you for your help today, Miss Roseluck."
>"Have fun on your date!" she winks.
>You shake your head as you make your way down the path, leaving the giggling mares behind you.
>These ponies.
>Ridiculous.
>Rose in particular.
>Soon you're back in town, and you make your way to Fluttershy's place.
>Seems she's not at home, so you leave a note and the sack of fruits on her doorstep.

>>30028528
>Checking the time, you realize you have exactly three minutes to get halfway across town to the spa.
>Blessed mother of acceleration, don't fail us now!
>You jog through town, making it to the spa ten minutes after the hour.
>Pausing outside, you catch your breath and straighten your clothes.
>Casually dressed, fashionably late.
>Pushing open the door, the twin ponies who run the spa look up and seem surprised to see you.
"I am supposed to meet Rarity here, am I early?"
>"Oh, no, she is here." the blue one answers. "One moment."
>You shrug and take a seat.
>"It is not often we get customers that are not ponies." the pink one says, walking up to you.
"Well I'm used to being gawked at a bit." you chuckle. "I'm Anonymous, by the way."
>"Of course, Mister Anonymous. I am Aloe. My sister is Lotus. Is there something you hope to get out of your visit?"
>Oh hoh!
>Assuredly not what she meant.
>Rarity wouldn't take you to that kind of spa.
>You knew some Canterlot types that probably would.
>"Mister Anonymous?"
"Sorry, lost in thought." you chuckle sheepishly "I don't know what you can really do for me, I'm just here to humor Rarity. I guess I'll put myself in your hooves, ma'am."
>She giggles cutely.
"Let me go see what we can do for you, Mister Anonymous."
>With that she disappears into the back room.
>Moments later her sister, Lotus, appears.
>"Mister Anonymous, Miss Rarity and Miss Fluttershy are finishing their mud baths, if you would follow me, you can meet them in the hot tub."
>You pull yourself to your feet and gesture for her to lead the way.
>Passing through the mud room, you wave to Fluttershy, who returns it with a small smile.
>"Mister Anonymous, Miss Rarity and Miss Fluttershy will join you here." Lotus explains, indicating the large oaken tub.
>You nod, and when she doesn't immediately leave you turn away, drop your towel, and slide in.

>>30028548
>"It is fascinating, Mister Anonymous, to see a being without fur." Lotus says, suddenly beside you, leaning on the edge of the tub. "I think it will be easy to massage somepony when you can see all of their muscles."
>Not sure how to feel about this.
>"I will be back with your friends, there is a bell over there if you need anything." she giggles, picking up on your discomfort. "And do try to relax."
>As she turns to leave you feel her tail run across your shoulders.
>You need an adult.
>On the other hand...twins, Basil.
>If this is anything like Earth, that wouldn't really be an option.
>But this isn't really like Earth.
>Well, sometimes.
>Definitely no herding on Earth.
>Well, not outside of rural Utah.
>On the other hand...
>From a purely selfish standpoint...
>Having a masseuse as a marefriend probably has its benefits.
>You feel kind of like an asshole thinking of it that way though.
>Instead you think about the house you were almost certainly going to buy.
>Leaning back, you sink a bit lower and relax.
>"Anon, nice of you to come, I know this isn't your thing, darling."
"We all know" you say, sitting up "that if I hadn't shown up a very angry marshmallow would have stormed to the castle and given me a piece of her mind."
>A chorus of giggles signals some agreement in the room as Rarity scowls at you.
>"Very well, yes." she sniffs "I suppose that is true."
>"Um, are you having a good time, Anon?"
"I've only been here about ten minutes, but so far so good." you say, flashing her a thumbs up.
>"So we've been discussing your situation, darling. Running through some ideas and such."
"Have you unlocked the secrets to reviving my cold, dead heart?"
>"Oh Anon" Fluttershy titters "You have the softest heart in Ponyville."
>Ack!
>Fluttershy used Kindness!
>It's Super Effective!
>"Fluttershy is right, dear. And you know it."
"I know no such thing." you deny, sliding back into the relaxing depths.

>>30028567
>"Well anyways, we had a little back and forth about it and we have some ideas."
>"I really didn't add that mu-"
>"Nonsense dear! I never would have thought to- oh! I nearly forgot you were here Anon."
>You wave your hand.
"Please, continue."
>Rarity throws you a look as you lean back, just keeping above the water as you close your eyes.
>The two drone on about some plan where they were going to set up some dinner parties or something, you aren't really paying attention.
>Well, really, it's mostly good ol' Squiggletail laying out her plan, while Fluttershy occasionally mumbles something in response.
>"Anon, can you, um, sit up a bit?"
"Sure Flutters."
>Sliding up, you get comfortable again, throwing your arms and head back to rest on the rim.
>After a few moments a pair of hooves land on your shoulders.
>Easy enough to guess who, you've had the pleasure of these buttery hooves once before.
>That second date, man, that went so well.
>You let out a contented hum, and the girls giggle.
>"Oh Anon, you are such a male." Rarity laughs.
"Oh yeah, that really hurts coming from the mare who comes here once a week."
>"It's only proper for a lady to maintain herself!" she scoffs.
"Psh, I've never known someone so naturally good looking to make it look so difficult."
>"Well, I, er-"
>"Oh my~" Fluttershy giggles coyly from across the way.
>Wait a minute...
>You open one eye to see her softly laughing as Aloe adjusts the towel over her mane.
>Opening your other eye you see a rather flustered Rarity.
>Leaning your head back, a pair of sapphire eyes stare back.
"AAAAugh!" you yell, launching yourself halfway across the steaming pool.
>You recover for a moment before heading back to your position.
>"Something wrong, Mister Anonymous?" Lotus looks on half concerned, half laughing.
"I'm not used to... just, you know, warn me next time."
>"You didn't stop me, so I thought it would be okay." she explains, evidently confused.

>>30028582
"I didn't think it was you." you say, sliding back into place as Lotus picks up where she left off.
>"Well who in Equestria did you think in was, darling?"
"I've had the pleasure of knowing some buttery hooves before..." you sigh.
>Now its Fluttershy's turn to be flustered as Rarity smirks at the furious blush on her friends face.
>As those two carry on, you lean back and look up at the suspicious mare behind/above you.
"So, I take it you're responsible for Fluttershy knowing how to do this?"
>"In a way, yes." she answers. "It's a basic technique, but she deserves all the credit for finding just the right way to use it."
"Sharing secrets, are we?"
>"No, but we are moving to the massage rooms."
>You linger after the others, they'd get their go first while you toweled off in privacy.
>Towel firmly wrapped around your waist, you took a seat on a bench in the sauna.
>These two mares are up to no good.
>Both Rares and Fluttershy,
>And the Spa Twins.
>But right now, you felt pretty okay with it all.
>If the perks were going to stay like this, you could deal with it.
>Hell, Rarity really took the whole relaxing while searching thing to heart.
>Eventually you were taken back to a private room, mercifully by Aloe.
>Ah damn.
>Lotus just came in.
>As did Fluttershy?
"Shy?"
>"Well, no one else really knows as much as me, maybe the doctors at Canterlot."
"I see."
>"I can, um, leave, if it's a problem..."
"No, I was just surprised is all." you say, laying down. "Where's Squiggletail?"
>Fluttershy smiles at the joke, then sighs shaking her head.
>"Oh Anon. She's up at the salon. She'll replace me when she's done so I can get my mane touched up."
"Fair enough. So what happens now?"
>Your answer comes as Aloe moves into view and pushes your head down, putting her hooves on your shoulders.
>Four hooves on your back alert you to Lotus's presence.
"So how many mares were on Rarity's list?"
>"Well, um, most of them..."

>>30028589
>You can't help but laugh.
"That's our Rarity."
>"You're lucky its only half." Aloe chimes in.
"See, this mare gets it." you say, pointing at Aloe.
"Perhaps we should leave it to, um, the princesses then?" Fluttershy counters.
"I'm sure Princess Twilight would love to help you." Lotus teases, while coming down hard on a knot in the small of your back.
"Ah-haha-wow!" you cry out. "Yeah, I'll leave it to the four of you. You seem to have the situation in hoof."
>"You're very trusting, Mister Anonymous." Aloe chirps.
>"He just doesn't want to end up like Spike" Lotus quips.
>"Now girls, Princess Twilight is just a little awkward, that's all." Fluttershy chides.
"In all fairness, I do not, in fact, want to end up like Spike." you add.
>"Have you seen him lately, Anon? He never really leaves the castle anymore." Fluttershy asks.
"Yeah, we were just talking this morning." you start.
>You talk about all of his grievances, and you little group brainstorms ways to help him.
>Well, three of you do.
>Lotus's ideas were creative and hilarious, but rarely productive.
>Soon enough, Rarity came in and Fluttershy left.
>"Have you all been getting along?" Rarity asks, taking a seat in the corner.
"Yep, just discussing poor Spikey-wikey."
>"Anon..."
>Might have overdone it there.
>That tone signals dangerous waters captain.
>"Don't worry Miss Rarity, we mostly spoke about his predicament at the castle." Aloe reassures her.
>"Anon promised he wouldn't butt in there."
>Damnit Lotus, you traitor.
>A glance up to see the -yep! Rarity's frown could crack diamonds.
>"Well, thanks Lotus." you say, putting your head back down. "At least I'll look and feel great before I die."
>There's a long period of quiet then, interrupted only to direct Lotus.
>"Well, Anonymous." Rarity finally breaks the silence. "I need to consult your calendar."
"Aloe? Can you grab my things from the locker? 8A, I think."
>"Of course, Anon."
>She's a cute mare. Bubbly.

>>30028601
>Not like the sarcastic seductress on your back.
"My calendar is in my shirt pocket. Planning those get-togethers?"
>"Of course. The sooner we get to work, the better!"
>Good, the distraction is working.
>Soon she mat forget enough that you won't even have to ask forgiveness!
>Of course, if Lotus had kept quiet...
"So where do you plan to have these parties? You know my place won't be ready until Spring at the earliest." you ask.
>"Fluttershy has a lovely yard for the first one. She has it all planned out, and I have to say, I think you'll really love the setting she's envisioned." Rarity sighs. "It isn't how I'd want it, but I have to say, it's a real shame she doesn't host very often."
"You have my attention."
>"I'll host the second one. We're going to see if Twilight will host a third."
"Makes sense to me."
>Before you can continue, Aloe returns.
>"Vera is ready in the salon, if you want, Mister Anonymous."
"No offense, I see a barber in town. It took him a long time to get used to human haircuts."
>"Aw, well alright. We'll see you next time, Anon." Lotus purrs, brushing your leg as she walks out the door.
>You'll have to watch out for that one.
>Handing off your calendar to Rarity, you get dressed while the two girls figure out when they want to have these dinners.
>When you get into the salon, you notice they're still debating dates, so you go out into the lobby to see Lotus at the desk.
"I'll pay for the three of us."
>"Miss Rarity already has, no need to worry."
>Tch.
>Generosity indeed.
"Alright then. I'll pay for their next one."
>Lotus is surprised, but makes the note and takes your bits.
"Gotta take care of your own." you tell her with a wink, then return to the salon.
>You recover your calendar and decide to head over to see your barber for a haircut and a shave.
.
.
.
And that concludes Chapter 2!

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>>30028607

Binned here: https://pastebin.com/t1YAxWgi

And I guess maybe I'll post a chapter a week until I catch up with myself. That should be sometime in June, I guess. Hopefully we pick up some more writefags by then (not that Leaf isn't doing God's work).

>>30028607
You in the pastebin list? And link to chapter 1?

>>30028623
Literally just asked lol thanks bruh

>>30027140
AW-WAW-WAW-WAW-WAW-HAW-HAW-HAWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwWWWWwww

>>30028623
you realize that anon and rarity have to get together now right?

>>30028625

Hahaha, I guess I'm not on the list. I guess that makes sense since its the old OP from the last time this thread lived.

Chapter 1: https://pastebin.com/4nP3GaB5

My Bin: https://pastebin.com/u/Hawkeye88

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>>30028638

I am working on chapter 8 and haven't yet answered that question.

Because I haven't decided yet myself.

>>30026767
>whores
u mean whorses.

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Damn, my apologies for killing the thread y'all.

>>30029867
Did everyone died?

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>>30026696
>all the mares expecting sex
nice

>>30026820
Pose it to the drawthread, you might get a talented artist to draw it for you.

>>30028623
But I already read through all your old pastebins on your account you bum.

>>30021014
What is /gtpone/?

>>30030293

>gang rape

>>30028607
i was going to read your story in your pastebin, or on gtpone, but i think i will just read it here as you post it. i like the suspense

>>30030596
(Life In The Herd: Birthday)

>"It's Anon's birthday this weekend, so I was thinking we all chip in and get him one great present." Trixie tells the rest of the herd.
>Lyra smiles, "I already got him something."
>The girls turn on her.
>Luna looms over the unicorn, "Oh? What did you get him?"
>Lyra's ears flatten, "Just... Some headphones..."
>Trixie fumes, "Why do you always have to one-up us? Are you trying to be the favorite?"
>Octavia flicks Lyra's horn, "U FINK WE DON'T KNOW WOT UR TRYIN'?"
>Lyra covers her horn and backs away, "I-I'm not trying anything! Stop bullying me..."
>"We could juz put all our namez on ze headphonez," Fleur offers.
>Trixie nods, "Good idea, new slut. That's what we'll do. Now, what else are we going to get him?"
>"I bought the headphones..." Lyra mutters.
>Luna silences her with a glare.
>"What if we take Anon for a vacation? Maybe the moon?"
>Trixie rubs her chin in thought.
>"Not a bad idea. But not the moon. That place is awful."
>Luna is triggered.
>"WE SHOULD TAKE THE LAD 2 THE BEACH, YE?"
>The girls all begin to babble about Octavia's idea.
>"We can get ze zuim zoots!"
>"ALWAYS WANTED ANON 2 PUT 'IS WILLY IN ME ON THE BEACH DESU!"
>"I'm still saying the headphones were from me..."
>Trixie clops her hooves, "Then it's settled! We'll take Anon to the beach. Now, how much money do you all have?"
>Silence.
>Fleur is the only one to offer some.
>Lyra shrugs, "Spent it all on the headphones."
>Luna reaches in to the drawer behind her, "There should be almost enough bits in here."
>"That's Anon's secret stash!"
>You burst in through the door, scaring them all.
"I can hear every fucking thing you're saying! Get the fuck out of my sock drawer!"
>The ponies all scatter like spooked cats.
"AND STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!"
>You slam the door behind them.
>What a bunch of idiots.
>You smile.
>It's very nice that they're working together though.
>Even if your birthday was actually last weekend and they forgot.
>At least they try.

>>30031067
a beach episode might be nice, but then again lyra might drown

>Even if your birthday was actually last weekend and they forgot.
>At least they try.
fucking ponies!

>>30031067
>>The ponies all scatter like spooked cats.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmjPSVPyhN4
That came to mind when reading this.

>>30031067
I'd kick them all out except for Lyra and Fleur, they seem pretty decent

>>30028638
I'd rather he pick someone who hasn't had dozens of stories already.

>>30031824
i'd rather you were not born yet here you are.

>>30031840
Why don't you go suck down some nigger cock, and wash it out with a bit of buck-n-ball.

>>30031855
i would but your mom beat me too it.

>>30031872
Pretty spicy for 13, how many of your 'comrades' did you have to blow today? Still 'feelin the bern'?

>>30031999
Check'd

>>30032003
He probably voted for Hillary after Bernie got cuck'ed out of the race, and cuck'ed all his follower too.

Billionaires can't buy Bernie, but 700k can, More of a joke than Jeb!

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>>30031999
>>30032021

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>>30030325

I will not deny this. I am a dreadfully slow writer.

>>30030580

It stands for Green Text Pony. It's over on that other chan. Link to the catalog in the bin below:

https://pastebin.com/1q40b9Y3

>>30031000

Probably for the best, I think.

>>30031840
>>30031855
>>30031872
>>30031999
>>30032003
>>30032021
>>30032038

Children, children. Stop fighting.

so what attracts people to this thread? is it the sex with multiple mares, or the lesbianism, or the family, or the wacky stories?

i come here for all of the above.

>>30032623
Green

>>30031067
(Life In The Herd: The Shower Scene)

>Trixie lets out a sigh of comfort as you lather shampoo into her mane from behind.
>The two of you are showering.
>One of the herd rules (made by Trixie) is that she's the only one who gets to bathe with you.
>It's a good way to spend some time spoiling her.
>And for sex.
>As you lather, you slide in and out of her from behind.
"I really do spoil you the most."
>You take time to make sure every bit of hair is washed.
>"Well obviously. Trixie is the spoiled one. Luna get's the most time with you."
"She's the most sane. And she was also my girlfriend before we even started this herd."
>"Octavia is the one you have fun with most."
"She's like a dude in a female body though."
>"Lyra is the pampered one. You coddle her too much."
"She's the youngest. Barely out of her filly years... And she's a walking disaster."
>Trixie grabs you with her insides, making you cum.
>You bend over and grunt against her wet flanks.
>She turns her head back and smiles smugly, "And Fleur... I can already tell you enjoy sex with her most."
>You pull out and grab the shower spray.
"Rinse."
>Trixie closes her eyes and lets you rinse her mane.
"She's super flexible... Did you know she can-"
>You're cut off by a sickening smell hitting your nose.
"What the?"
>Ripping the shower curtain back, you see Lyra staring at you from the toilet.
>"Sorry! I couldn't hold it!"
>Trixie throws a bar of soap at her, "GET OUT! THIS IS MY TIME!"
>Lyra jumps up and flushes the toilet before running out of the bathroom.
>"I'm sorry!"
>Suddenly the water is molten hot.
>Both you and Trixie stumble and fall out of the shower.
>"Anon, how sad would you be if Lyra died?"
"It smells like her insides already are..."

>>30033119
>>Suddenly the water is molten hot.
i would kill that bitch for that.

also anon needs a second bathroom. time to get luna to sneak some money out of the royal coffers for some home renovation.

>>30033119
leafy greens are best greens!

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>>30033157
Right? Luna has access to the royal treasury.

>>30028638
>>30028648
But didn't Rarity mention somewhere that she wanted a monogamous relationship with a special somepony.

Hawkeye, I am thoroughly enjoying this story. I look forward to reading more.

Thanks for the hilarious greens Leaf. Keep 'em coming.

>>30033285
How a man and his herd can be poor trailer trash when one of them is literal reigning royalty is certainly a trick.

>>30033625
This will be explained shortly, when we get to see Celestia.

>>30033119
(Life In The Herd: Postponed)

>Luna has received a letter.
>From her sister.
>The sister she is not on good terms with.
>Ever since Luna decided to leave her royal status to start a herd with you, the sisters have had somewhat of a falling out.
>Celestia had begged her to stay.
>You had told Luna it was probably better to stay.
>But she wouldn't be reasoned with and had left Canterlot.
>This is actually the first time Celestia has even acknowledged Luna since.
>The two of you eye the letter laying on the table.
"Are you gonna open it?"
>Luna shifts uncomfortably, "Yes. No... Yes."
>She picks up the letter with magic and opens it.
>You watch her with bated breath as she reads.
>It's impossible to read her face.
"What's it say?"
>Luna closes her eyes and sets the letter down with a sigh.
>"We are sorry, Anon. Our trip to the beach will have to be postponed..."
>Her voice is grave.
"That's okay, what's up?"
>Luna gulps.
>"Celestia has invited us to the castle for a summer ball."
>A ball?
>She invited her sister?
"That's great! It sounds like she wants to see you again."
>Luna nods, "Yes... It would appear so."
"Why do you sound so sad then?"
>Luna covers her face.
>"She has invited all of us. The whole herd."
>You look down.
"The whole herd... In Canterlot. For a fancy ball..."
>Luna nods gravely.
"Fuck..."

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OI MATES, I UPDATED ME PASTEBIN WITH THIS RUBBISH FOR THE LADS HAHA
https://pastebin.com/c06dRAuu
Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm glad people are enjoying this shit.

>>30034368
Great greens

>>30034304
(Life In The Herd: The Lads)

"OCTAVIAAAAA!"
>You stand in front of the couch, hyperventilating.
>Octavia walks out of the kitchen, eating from a bag of chips.
>"Wass up?"
>You point to the couch.
"What the FUCK is this!?"
>Pinkie Pie is sleeping on the couch with a mostly empty bottle of vodka.
>"Thas' Pinkie Pie, luv."
"I KNOW WHO THE FUCK SHE IS! WHY IS SHE ON MY FUCKING COUCH!?"
>Octavia rolls her eyes, "Well, u see... I was at the pub last night throwin' back some drinks with the lads, roit?"
>You cut her off.
"Who the fuck are these "lads" you always talk about?"
>"Well, there's Pinkie Pie-"
"Of course."
>"And u got Applejack-"
"Applejack?!"
>"Roit. And uh, some dyke lookin' tramp, calls herself Rainbow Dash."
"R-Rainbow Dosh?!"
>Octavia shoves a hoof full of chips into her mouth, "Yeh thasit. Wassa matter?"
>You pinch your nose and sigh.
"I want Pinkie Pie out of this house. Right. Now."
>Octavia throws her hooves up, "BUT SHE'S THE LAD! I CAN'T DO THAT!"
"YOU WILL DO THAT! RIGHT NOW!"
>"WOT'S UR DEAL, MATE?!"

*1 year ago*

>Pinkie Pie pulls down your pants while Rainbow and Applejack hold you down.
>They're retardedly strong.
>"Hey Nonny, you shouldn't wear all these clothes all the time!"
>The pink pony whips off your underwear and licks her lips.
>"Time to properly introduce you to Equestria!"

*End flashback*

>You cringe and look away from the pink demon that stole your pony virginity.
"JUST GET HER THE FUCK OUT!"
>Octavia rolls her eyes.
>"The lads won't be happy 'bout this."
>From now on, you will have to monitor Octavia's free time.

>>30034592
>>You cringe and look away from the pink demon that stole your pony virginity.
fucking rapist pones! i always knew there was something off about that crazy pink one.

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>>30034903
Yeah. No one can be THAT happy all the time.
Anyways, that's the end of Life In The Herd. Hope you lads enjoyed. PEACE!

>>30035286
so no royal ball herd story? i can't imagine it could be worse than discord.

>>30035286

This clearly means he's back to writing Herd Quest.

>>30035418
>>30035600
Just kidding. I'm drunk hahaha I guess i'll write more after I sleep for a long time.

>>30036222
trips means leaf has to write MOAR!

So why hasn't this guy dumped most of these poners yet?

So glad this is finally a thread.

Bump 9

>>30036595
because family or love i guess. also sex and cuddles.

Herdmares need to be whipped from time to time

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>mfw no cuddlepile

Bump 9

>>30020999
Woooooo

>>30039888
Nice

Somebody write something.

>>30039940
>anon was cuddling his herd of mares.
>suddenly one his unicorns poked him in the eye with her horn.
>anon is now blind, how he managed to get blinded in both eyes by getting poked in one is a mystery, probably just his luck..

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>>30039958

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>>30039966

(Dastardly Anon)

>You are Anon.
>Greatest wizard in all of Equestria.
>Okay, that's not true.
>Only recently you had discovered that in Equestria, you have the ability to use magic the same way unicorns does.
>Twilight Sparkle had been helping you learn to use it.
>Now that you had some basic spells under your belt and had recently gotten the rights from city council to start a herd, it was time to start working toward your goal.
>Complete magical domination over Ponyville.
>Then the world.
>You rub your hands together and skulk down the street.
>Your two current herd members follow along behind you.
>As a rule, your minions- uh, herd mates will only be unicorns.
>Rarity and Colgate chat with each other happily as you creep along.
>There!
"There!"
>You stop and point at a Royal Post mail drop box.
>Colgate rubs her horn from where she ran into you, "What? A mail box? It's how we deliver mail in Equestria, Anon. You drop a letter in and then-"
"I know how it works, fool! This is our first target!"
>Rarity raises an eyebrow, "I thought you said we were going out to eat?"
>You raise your hands above your head.
"Eat THIS! NYAAA!"
>You cast your spell and the mailbox explodes, sending mail flying sky-high
>Colgate and Rarity cower behind you, confused as you laugh maniacally and watch burning letters flutter down all around you.
"This is it, girls! Our first step toward running this pathetic town! Hahaha! Let this be a message, Ponyville!"
>Other ponies are staring.
>Rarity looks at Colgate, worried.
>"Wait, so he wasn't just messing around about the 'take over the town' thing? I thought he was trying to be cute!"
>Colgate shakes her head, watching you laugh and point at random ponies.
>"We better get him out of here before the royal guard shows up or something..."
>Rarity and Colgate lift you up with magic and trot back to your house.
"Yes minions! Back to the lair!"
>Thus begins your tale of world domination.

>>30040158
Whoa this is t-totally wacky

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>>30040177
INDEED!

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>>30040158

When Anon wins, I expect Rarity to be his right hand mare.

>>30040158
>Turns out Anon blew up a poisoned package for Twilight unintentionally.
>Regaled as a hero.
>Everything he does unintentionally backfires, doing good.
>Breaks down.
>A Princess takes interest in this hero.
>Eventually ends up ruling a kingdom with her.
>Got what he wanted but not in the way he wanted.
>BecarefulWhatYouWishFor.jpg
>Hailed as a hero, much to his horror.
>His wife just thinks its cute he tries to be "evil".

>>30040177
>>30040248
WACKY ZANY ADVENTURES!

>>30040256
donald trump in equestria? how many mares would pony donald trump have?

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>>30040309
All of them

>>30040313
what would the great wall of equestria look like?

>>30040295
>"Sweetums, I know you're really into this whole being evil thing, but speaking as somepony who's been down the cackling villain route and tried to plunge the world into eternal darkness, I just don't think your heart is really in it."
>"Now come help me plan to annoy the nobles, I know how much you enjoy seeing our insufferable nephew get taken down a peg."

>>30038620
>You have been working for a while
>Finally its your break and you decide to walk around Ponyville park
>Feeling more tired than usual, you find a perfect spot for a nap in a tree shade
>There was some time to kill before needing to go back, so relaxing and a good nap seemed nice

>After a while you started waking back up
>Yet there seemed to be no light at all, which was weird for such a sunny day
>Trying to open your eyes, you see many variatons in colours of pony fur on top of you
>And when trying to move your arms also felt as if you were being restrained
>Panicking, you screamed, waking up the entire pony pile who proceeded to panic as well
>And when you finally managed to get up, you spotted no less than 20 little dots running in the distance
>"Goddamn earth ponies..."

>>30040397
>this just in! a local whomin names anon y mous has been crushed to death by cuddlepile! more at 11.

>>30040397
Server isnt accepting the post for some reason so just read in this 'bin
https://pastebin.com/szS2PRVz

Saw that happen to other greentexts writers too, anyone know whats up?

I think the mods are fucking with me again. Any time I try to post green, I get a connection error now.
The system also thought my last few Life In The Herd posts were spam too.

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>>30040479
Just as I say it we get more proof, kek

Thanks ya fucking leaf

>>30040498
>/mlp/ confirmed for trying to get rid of greentext stories

>>30040479
>The system also thought my last few Life In The Herd posts were spam too.
did they have something to do with erectile dysfunction?

just post it in your pastebin and link it here.

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>>30040515
They got our porn, they got our memes, and now they want our greentext
From all the things that could happen, this is the.WORST.POSSIBLE.THING!

>>30040479
somebody said that if you post it on the top of the page instead of quick reply it will work

>>30040541
I was talking about stuff I already posted.
I just kept trying and for some reason it let me post. Shit's as annoying as sign captchas. I think i'll go shitpost on /x/ for a while and hopefully they fix it.

>>30040572
>I think i'll go shitpost on /x/ for a while
ah man i miss shitposting on /x/. i should go back there sometime. has it changed much in the past few years?

>>30040158
(Dastardly Anon: Minions)

>You sit at the head of your kitchen table.
>The two newest minions to your herd sit on either side of you.
>Cadence agreed to join under the stipulation that Shining Armor be able to join as well.
>Minions are minions.
"Cadence! Did you prepare the feast for our first evil meeting?"
>Cadence nods happily, "I ordered pizza, it should be here soon!"
>Shining Armor sips the tea Rarity prepared, "This is some bomb tea, Anon. So, how does this work?"
>You hold up a hand to silence your henchman and smile.
"Now we plot our next move. The next step in our devious plan to TAKE OVER PONYVILLE! HAHAHA!"
>Colgate frowns and pokes her teacup, "I thought this was going to be like a normal herd. Like a family."
>Rarity inspects her hoof she is filing, "I don't know, I think it's cute. At least he has a dream."
>Shining Armor eyes Rarity, "I got you, Anon. But I mean like... How does this herd thing work? You wanna take Cadence and I'll take Rarity? I'm down for anything though."
>Cadence blushes and twirls her mane, "Yes! That's a good idea... Anon?"
"Silence! Now, I was thinking we kidnap the mayor and hold her for ransom!"
>There's a knock on the door.
>Cadence jumps up and clops her hooves, "Pizza!"

>She answers the door and the delivery pony gives her a stack of pizza boxes.
>She pays the stallion.
>Suddenly you are by her side.
>You snatch the tip from the delivery stallion's hoof.
"There will be, NO TIP! HAHAHAHA!"
>He stares with a flat look as you laugh in his face.
>"Okay. Enjoy your pizza."
>He leaves and you slam the door.
"Feast, my minions! You will need your strength for later!"
>The minions all shrug and start eating.
>You watch them proudly as they discuss sleeping arrangements.
>You laugh maniacally and grab a slice of pizza.
>It's covered in hay.
"HAY?!"
>Cadence looks worried, "Do you not eat hay?"
>You take a bite of the pizza and glare at her.
"How dastardly of you... You're learning well."
>Shining Armor watches Rarity eat with his mouth stuffed, "Be sure to eat a lot, Rarity! Anon says we'll need our strength. Ha ha..."
>This guy gets it.
>His evil laugh could use some work though.
>Ponyville has no idea what grim future awaits it...

Holy shit this is annoying. Jap moot is really fucking this site up constantly.

>>30040610
Soo...that aint working I suppose...?
The top reply that is

>>30040620
It does. But the system still thinks you're a robot and makes you solve another captcha. And you can't reply to your green stories with more green stories.

>>30040610
jap moot went all zamakazi on 4chan and now 4chan is shit. i miss the good old days when 4chan was garbage.

>>30040629
I see, couldnt test as im phoneposting but thanks for the info...friggin hiro

Ping-pong green when?

>>30040610
he should an hiro

Y'all niggas better start posting some fucking green right now.

Why get rid of greentext?
For what purpose?

Fine, leaf!

>Be gentleman of negotiable affection in manehattan
>Particularly pathetic-looking Unicorn mare sidles up to you
>She's a blank flank. Considering her apparent age, that's pathetic. She's got bags under her eyes and wisdom lines around her mouth. She's grandma material.
>"It's ten for hand-brushing, two for-"
>"I have a request actually!"
>You gesture for her to go on
>"H-...how much for you to...pretend to be my husband?"
>"..."
>"Just for a day...maybe two..."
>"...500 per day. 'Day' being a 24-hour period. I got a place rigged up like a nice, cozy home for this kinda thing. I can be whatever husband you like. We spend the whole day together acting like a couple. For an extra 100 per day I got a filly who'll pretend to be our daughter too."
>She nods solemnly and walks away.
>A few minutes later she returns with 1200 bits

>>30041551
fuck man right in the heart

>>30041551
YOU CAN'T GET ME WITH THIS OLD SHIT, I'VE ALREADY READ IT.

>>30034592
(Life In The Herd: Dress To Kill)

>To prepare for Celestia's ball, you have taken your herd to Canterlot to shop for dresses.
>Luna is the only one with proper ball attire.
>You will have to rely on her to help the girls pick out their dresses.
>Currently all of you are in one of Canterlot's huge fancy shops.
>It's like a mall.
>Too many opportunities for your herd to...
>Be your herd.
"Alright girls, no one leaves my sight while we're here. We're ONLY here to look for dresses and-"
>You stop and look around.
"Where- WHERE IS LYRA?!"
>The girls all look around.
>"EY ANON, U FINK WE CAN STOP FOR SUM NOSH? KINDA HUNGRY HERE, MATE."
>You cringe at Octavia's loud voice.
"After we find Lyra. Did anyone see where she went?"
>Fleur shrugs, "We can juz continue wizout 'er. I am ready to do ze zchopping right away!"
>Trixie nods, "The slut is right, Anon. Lyra is probably in a toy store or something. Let's shop!"
>Wrong.
>Lyra is probably inadvertently causing destruction somewhere.
>You can feel the lawsuit brewing.
"We're not doing SHIT until we find Lyra!"
>Trixie grumbles, "Lyra ruins the day, again."

*Meanwhile at home*

>Lyra sits on the couch, eating cereal and watching cartoons.
>She looks around the room, wondering why the house is so quiet.
>"Hello?"

>There's no answer.
>Realizing she's home alone, Lyra gets up and heads to your room.
>She digs through your drawers until she finds a pair of boxers and puts them on.
>Feels good.
>Something catches her eye.
>She grabs your headphones that she bought you and puts them on her head.
>"What kind of music does da- er, Anon listen to?"
>She goes to your record player.
>As she walks, the cord to your headphones hangs down and catches under her hoof.
>She stumbles and falls, ripping the headphone cord in half and headbutting the dresser holding your record player.
>"OUCH!"
>Her horn chips against the hard wood.
>The record player falls to the ground, smashing into several pieces.
>Lyra jumps up and grabs her head.
>"OH NO! I CAN FIX THIS! I CAN FIX THIS!"
>She runs to the kitchen to grab the super glue and tape.
>"You got this, Lyra! Anon will never know..."
>The little unicorn goes back to your room with shaking hooves.
>"I'll just use a bit of glue, some tape, and... Lyra magic!"
>She charges her horn.
>It fizzles and shoots electricity from the chipped portion.
>The bed bursts into flame.
>Lyra screams and runs in a circle.
>"I CAN FIX THIS!"
>She charges her horn again as the smoke detector begins to beep.

why is there no one else writing

where muh comfy cozy herd mares at

>>30041748
>Home Alone
>Pony Edition

>Poor Lyra, accidentally left behind by her herd, has to defend the house from bandits
>Instead of actual booby traps, her klutziness nearly kills the bastards

>>30041767
To few write fags anon

>>30041786
Would read.

>>30041786
>nearly

>>30042091
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqAkq8v6LuQ
Relevant.

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>>30042660
>its been 4 years already
>the original is even older

>>30042955
Time can move ya know?
>>30041760
Fucking love it.

>>30041760
lyra needs to go, she is simply not worth it.

>>30043377
But Anon, she just did. She died in the fire.

Ra, rara , rarara please.

>>30041760
Oooo Lyra's getting a spanking when Anon gets home

>>30044079

Color me interested.

>>30041767

We could use a few more Writefags. Perhaps you could give it a go?

>>30041767
i think this thread is less cozy comfy and more wacky zany, but cozy comfy could be nice too.

usually stories are wacky or dramas.

>come home
>no dozen of cat sized ponies to be buried under on the sofa while they tell you about their days

We need to start crossbreeding cats and horses

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>>30044860
That sounds nice. Very homey.

>>30044476

I will do my best to keep it comfy.

>>30044476
How do I into comfy?

>>30045418
>>30045674
not that it needs to be comfy, but comfy stories could be nice too. some people like comfy stories. i'm just happy with quality green.

>>30045674
i don't think you can do comfy leaf. you are just not capable of it. the shower scene came pretty close though.

>>30045879
I'll take that as a challenge.

>>30046010
take it however you want. i'm just glad you are gracing my old creation with your leafy greeny presence.

bump for more cuddly times with lots of mares!

>>30045879
I find myself caught up on almost all the greens I follow. Which story has this 'almost comfy' shower scene? Perhaps it's something I'd like to read while waiting for updates.

>>30047387
https://pastebin.com/c06dRAuu

>>30047760
Yeah, that was hilarious. Thanks.

>"ANON! ANON I FINK I'M BLIND! U DICK'D ME EYES BLIND!"
I laughed to tears with that one.

>>30048020
Glad you liked it.
I've decided I will sit down with my whiskey and pick up writing Herd Quest. Because I'm an unproductive faggot.

>>30020999
Someone should color this picture. We could also use more herd pictures.

>>30048501
J A M E S O N
E
S
U
S

C
H
R
I
S
THAT'S MY SHIT

>>30048382
I like what I read so far. I look forward to the next installment.

>>30041760
>>30040397
>>30028607
Holy shit

>with a might stroke of the pen
"Back away from 10!"

Here I sit and patiently await
Some green to appear
while I keep us from page 8

>>30048519
I'm more of a bourbon guy myself.

Also, it is snowing here. Send Help.

>>30050840
I'm a little jealous. I've been trapped in far Southeast USA for so long I have forgotten what snow feels like.

>Be Anon
>Want to court Marble
>But the Pies are a traditional family
>Which means that the oldest sister must marry before the others
>Shenanigans ensue
Writefags pls

>>30048837
I dun get it, whats up Anon?

>>30051390

Bulleit is my favorite, but Tincup is also legit.

>>30049849
>>30050461
It's show 10

>>30052197
Thanks for the backup Anon. I'm heading out for a few hours. There's around 50 of us here if the stats are to be believed. I hope to see y'all when I return.

>>30053421
>Rape cuddle human

>>30053421
ewwwwwwwwwww

I remember a story about
>Ra
>Rara
>Rarara

>>30054667
I would also like to see this story

>>30054667
>>30054832
don't be faggots

>>30054667
RARARRARARARARARARAARARRARARARRARARA

>>30054852
You gonna stop me?

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>30054852
>its another retard who doesn't know what shilling is faggots

POW! Right in the kisser

>There it is.
>The store that sells mares for herds.
>'The Cuckshed'.
>Weird name, but whatever.
>You enter the large store, ready to not be lonely anymore.
>Two hours later, you walk out with two new ponies under each arm.
>Have to start out with only a couple now until you can afford more.
>You purchased 'The Cuckshed Starter Pack'.
>Under one arm is Octavia, the donkey.
>Well... She asked you not to call her that.
>She said it was very offensive.
>Even though it read 'Donkey' right on her tag.
>Anyway, under the other arm is a peculiar little pegasus called Ditzy.
>She came from the discount rack for some reason.
>Now out under the sun though, you can see why.
>Her eyes look in different directions.
"Oh man, she's defective..."
>At least she smiles at you.
>"I'll show you what a great pony I can be, master!"
>Eager to please. You like that.
>Octavia squirms under your arm, "I can walk, you know?"
>This one literally on the other hand... Will need some work.
>You head home with your herd starter kit as fast as you can.
>Suddenly horse world doesn't seem so bad.

>>30055903
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn’t he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little cuckshed up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha. Maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the post. Oh, and we all know the post. The “epic” cuckshed guy, isn’t it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you post it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it’s ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that’s right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a fucking cuckshed. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic cuckshedfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even try to talk with you because all you say is “I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS POST.” You’ve become a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now. And that’s all you’ll ever be.

>>30056068
Thanks for the shitpost m8. I for one can truly appreciate the art.

>>30055903
>Carrying ponies around
Fuck that, they either pull the carriage or to the gluefactory they go

File: roseluck.jpg (62KB, 824x1200px) Image search: [Google]

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It's time for another episode of Herd Quest!

So far:
Anon has gotten a job working for Mayor Mare. As part of his new life as a dignitary, he is expected to take on a herd. His girlfriend Twilight Sparkle has helped him get closer to his coworker, Flitter. Rarity has also hooked Anon up with a young mare she knows and scheduled a future meeting with her. Now Anon has been approached by an ominous older mare named Roseluck. Tonight, he will have her over for a dinner date and movie. But he can't shake the feeling that there's something sinister about this pony. Especially since there's a rumor her fiance disappeared mysteriously...

Previous two chapters here: https://pastebin.com/u/_Leaf_

And now: Herd Quest!: Episode 03- Mature And Young.

>It's a rather warm day, so the park is actually pretty busy.
>Several ponies stare as you walk along a path with Flitter.
>You have bought sandwiches from a cart and search for a good place to sit and eat lunch with your new girlfriend.
>That's weird to think about.
"Let's sit there."
>You point at a large shady patch of grass under an oak tree.
>The two of you sit down and you hand a sandwich to Flitter.
>She takes it and stares at you.
"Not hungry?"
>The pegasus shakes her head, "I am waiting for you to eat first, like a good marefriend?"
>You chuckle and unwrap your sandwich.
"Let's just eat together."
>Flitter nods a bit too emphatically and unwraps her meal.
>You take a bite and watch her.
>She's so nervous.
>This is probably her first date ever, you realize.
>Poor thing.
>She takes a tiny bite of her sandwich and looks down at the grass.
"So... What kind of things would you normally do on a day like this?"
>Flitter gulps and looks to be thinking.
>You can almost hear the gears turning in her head.
>"My hobbies include-"
>Before she can repeat her practiced phrase, a bird swoops down from the branches above and swipes Flitter's sandwich right out of her hoof.
>She stares at her hoof in silence as the bird flies away.
>Oh shit.
>Tears begin to well up in her eyes.
>"My... My sandwich..."

>You quickly shove your sandwich into her hoof before she can start crying.
"Please don't cry! Here, you can have mine."
>Ponies seem to cry much easier than humans.
>Flitter sniffles and looks up in shock at you, "B-But what will you eat?"
>You give her a smile and rub your stomach.
"It's fine. Trust me, I'm on a pretty strict diet now anyway. Don't know why I got all that bread in the first place."
>Flitter blinks and stares at the sandwich.
"Trust me. Please, I want you to have that."
>She still stares at it in her hoof.
"Is something wrong?"
>Her face flushes a bit and she mumbles, "Indirect kiss..."
>This pony is even more innocent than you once believed.
>She takes a slow bite of the sandwich where you already bit into it.
>Her eyes close and she seems to savor it.
>You smile and watch her eat.
>It feels like the two of you are in your own little world.
>Birds chirp in the tree above.
>A gentle summer wind blows over the grass and the laughter of young ponies playing in the distance can be heard.
>You stretch out and take a deep breath of fresh air.
>"Anon?"
>Looking over, you see Flitter staring at you again.
>She has bread crumbs on her mouth.
>You chuckle and reach out, picking the few crumbs off and pop them into your mouth.
>Flitter flattens her ears in embarrassment, "Sorry..."
"Don't apologize. It's cute. What's up?"
>Her face flushes once more, this time a deeper shade of red.
>She picks nervously at her sandwich and averts her eyes, mumbling.
>"Can you... Show me your belly?"
"Huh?"

>Flitter closes her eyes and scrunches her muzzle.
>"I'm not trying to be weird! I just... I wanted to-"
>You grab the bottom of your shirt and pull it up, exposing your abs.
>It's a very rare thing that you let anyone see your body.
>Even with Twilight, you try to keep your body exposure to a bare minimum.
>Flitter looks over at your stomach.
>Her eyes widen and her mouth opens a bit.
>It's uncomfortable having her stare at your exposed skin.
>What is she thinking?
>Is she disgusted?
>Her hoof reaches out slowly.
>You flinch as her hoof presses gently against your abs and slides over your skin.
>She looks up at you with her mouth still hanging open a bit.
>Your eyes meet in awkward silence.
>Both of you look away and you whip your shirt down again.
>Flitter goes back to nibbling her sandwich in embarrassment.
>"I... I'm sorry, I just wanted to..." She trails off.
"Does my body seem weird to you?"
>It's uncharacteristic of you to be so vulnerable.
>You curse your body.
>Nothing new.
>"Anon, why are you so critical of your body?"
>You look back at her.
>Now she seems less nervous and more worried.
"Critical?"
>Flitter nods, "You say you're on a strict diet. And Twilight says you work out multiple times a day, obsessively. You seem to be... Disgusted by your body, even though..."
>Her eyes run over your figure stretched out on the grass.
>"Even though you're so cut. Even more than most stallions I've seen."

"I stayed at home every day and sat around on my computer, eating junk food. I drank multiple energy drinks every day and was extremely depressed."
>Flitter looks up at you, then back to the picture of your fat self in awe.
>It hurts letting someone see your disgusting secret.
>She shakes her head again.
>"Anon, this is..."
>You squeeze your eyes shut.
>"This is the most amazing transformation I've ever seen!"
>She holds the photo of past-you up like a treasure, "Amazing!"
>You raise an eyebrow.
"You think so?"
>She offers the picture back to you and smiles wide.
>"Absolutely! You should be so proud of yourself! Most ponies would never be able to show that much dedication to change themselves. I can tell you have an amazing work ethic, and look how much it's payed off!"
>You feel your face heat and look down at your stomach.
>She's nice, but the work will never be done.
>Your stomach growls.
>Flitter looks at it, then laughs.
>She picks up her sandwich and tears it in half, offering you one side.
>"Please, eat."
>You take the sandwich, feeling like a doofus.
"Thanks... I'm sorry."
>So much for being poised and cool in front of her.
>"Anon, can I ask you a favor?"
>You chew a large bite of the veggie sandwich.
"Of course."
>"Can I start working out with you?"
>This catches you off guard.
"Really?"
>Flitter nods and smiles awkwardly.
>She reaches down and pinches the skin on her stomach.
>"I've been wanting to lose a bit of this pudge, and you are the best at that kind of stuff."
>You smile.
"I'd be happy to train with you. But you really don't need to lose any weight. Don't be so critical of yourself, Flitter."
>The two of you laugh and eat your lunch in the shade.

>After the date with Flitter, you decide to go to your usual barber for a bit of a touch-up.
>Flitter said she was going out to Cloudsdale for the day to visit her parents.
>She still hasn't told them of this herd business.
>You wonder how her parents would feel about their daughter in a relationship with a non-pony.
>They're out of luck if they hoped for grandchildren...
>You sit in the barber chair while your usual barber, Sunny works trimming your hair to your preferred style.
>As usual, he makes small talk.
>"Heard about your herd. Heh. What's up with that?"
>Word travels fast here.
"Yeah. It's weird, but I guess it goes with my new job, sort of."
>He spins you around to work on the back of your head, "I gotta say, I'm a bit jealous. And at the same time, I don't envy you."
"Why's that?"
>"Because living with one mare is bad enough, I'd probably drink myself under a bridge if I had to hear multiple mares nag me every night!"
>You both have a chuckle.
>The mare waiting her turn on the seats across from you looks up from the magazine she's reading and rolls her eyes.
"It's not so bad. Like I said, it's weird still. But very interesting."
>Sunny smiles and uses a blow drier to blow away loose hair on your neck.
>"Everypony would find bedding multiple mares 'very interesting', Anon."
>You cough.
"S'not like that, man."
>He laughs from his belly and whips the sheet off of you.
>You stand and look at your hair in the mirror.
>He cuts it best.
>You thank him and pay him a generous tip.
>"Got a hot date tonight?"
>You feel a knot in your stomach.
>Roseluck's ominous serene smile comes to mind.
"Yeah, actually. I do..."

File: here we goooo.jpg (33KB, 625x265px) Image search: [Google]

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>The time is 7 PM.
>You sit on your couch in a suit.
>Where the hell is Pinkie Pie?
>Damn, you're extremely nervous.
>If Roseluck shows up before Pinkie, your whole plan is dead.
>Then it will be only the two of you.
>If this mare makes you this nervous, how will you be able to take her into your herd?
"Gotta calm down."
>She's just a pony.
>A tiny little pony.
>There's a knock on the door.
"Thank God, that must be Pinkie Pie."
>You rush to the door and open it.
>A stallion in a uniform stares at you, "Telegram for Mr. Anonymous."
"Uh, yeah. That's me."
>He holds out a box for you.
>You take it cautiously and open the lid.
>Pinkie Pie's head pops out of the box, making you drop it in shock.
>"Hey Anon! I'm sorry, but I can't make it tonight! When I told Twilight what I was doing, she got really mad and told me to stay away! Soooooooo..."
>You stare at the pink pony's head in confusion.
"How are you- Pinkie, you weren't supposed to tell anyone about this!"
>"Sorry, Nonny! Gotta go!"
>Her head slips back into the box.
>The delivery stallion picks up the box and trots away.
>What the hell just happened?
>Your confusion is cut short.
>In the distance, you see a pony trotting up the lane.
>Roseluck carries a basket in her mouth and is wearing a pure white dress.
>You grip the door and watch her, white-knuckling.
"And here. We. Go..."

>Roseluck made you spaghetti.
>How appropriate.
>She even put meat in yours.
>You won't ask her how, or where she got it.
>The two of you sit at your dining room table.
>You lit a candle and put it in the center of the table.
>For the occasion, you have opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses for the both of you.
>You sit awkwardly, looking at the spaghetti.
>There's a creeping feeling she drugged it.
>"Please tell me what you think. I've never cooked with beef before."
>Roseluck rests her smiling face on her hooves, watching you.
>It's unsettling how large her pupils seem to grow when looking at you.
>Like she's trying to eat you with them.
>She is a very pretty mare though.
>For the date, she decided to place a white lily in her mane.
>You pick up your fork and take a bit of pasta to your mouth.
>She stares in silence.
>Almost dropping the spaghetti figuratively and literally, you put the food in your mouth and chew.
>"So?"
>You nod and force a smile, swallowing.
"It's delicious! Thank you."
>It actually is good.
>Seems like forever since you last ate meat.
>Roseluck sighs and picks up her own fork, "What a relief. I'm so happy~."
>The two of you eat in silence.
>Finishing your wine, you quickly pour another glass.
>Roseluck seems to not be touching her wine, instead opting to watch your every move with her serene smile.

>After dinner, the two of you sit on the couch.
>For a movie, you've picked a cliche romantic comedy that Twilight recommended.
>Roseluck moves closer to you.
>She smells like a flowery perfume.
>At least in the dark, you can escape from her watchful eyes.
>Her hoof creeps into yours and you look down at her.
>"Is this... Okay?"
>You flush and wrap your fingers around her soft hoof.
"Of course."
>The two of you go back to watching the opening credits.
>There's silence save for the movie for at least twenty minutes, before Roseluck breaks it.
>"Anon, do you mind changing positions? Something more comfortable?"
>You remove your hand from her hoof.
"Sure."
>She changes position on the couch, sitting like a human with her back legs dangling over the edge.
>You've seen the pony Lyra sit like this on a bench at the park before.
>Roseluck smiles softly up at you and pats her lap.
>"Would you care to lay your head here?"
>You stare at her lap and blink.
"Uh, okay."
>With stiff movements, you lay on the couch and rest on your side with your head on Roseluck's lap.
>The silky fabric from her dress caresses your face.
>You try to breathe normally and watch the movie.
>Roseluck's hoof moves to your head, stroking gently.
"Isn't this more comfortable?"
>With a sigh, you close your eyes and try to relax.
"Yes. It is."
>Her hoof works small circles behind your ear, down to the back of your neck, then slowly through your hair, sending shivers down your spine.

>It is actually very comforting.
>You unconsciously nuzzle deeper into her lap.
>You inhale a deep breath of her flowery scent and sigh again.
>Long ago, you remember your mother comforting you this way...
>No, that's weird.
>This is Roseluck.
>A pony.
>"I used to sit like this with my fiance..." Roseluck almost whispers.
>You were hoping this subject would come up.
"What happened to him... Your fiance?"
>Roseluck sighs and moves her hoof along your jaw.
>Looking up, you find her gazing down at you, smiling sadly.
>"He ran away. With another mare. They eloped and moved far away."
>You feel a twinge in your chest.
"I'm so sorry to hear that."
>Now you feel like a dick for thinking she must have murdered him.
>"Please don't be sorry for me. I was a fool to not see his wandering gaze. She was a much younger mare and I was always a bit too... Clingy."
>Her hoof brushes the corner of your mouth.
>"And now that I'm older-"
>Roseluck bends down and presses her lips to yours.
>Her fragrant red mane surrounds your face, tickling your skin.
>Without thinking, you slide your fingers into her locks and caress the back of her head.
>She kisses you several times, desperately, yet with a tenderness you have ever experienced.
>Pulling back, she looks down upon you with those serene green eyes.
>You notice a bit of moisture welling in them.
>"I have no regrets now."

>The movie has been forgotten in the background.
>It has played all the way through and the credits are rolling.
>Far from being interested in the show, you and Roseluck were creating your own.
>You have her pinned on the couch.
>This date has turned into a passionate make out session.
>In the back of your mind, you feel guilty grinding against and kissing Roseluck on your first date, like a horny freshman-
>But this is what Twilight was talking about with herding.
>Spreading your attention out between your herd.
>Roseluck's mane is a mess now.
>Her lily has fallen down to the floor, forgotten.
>The white dress has slid down her whither a bit.
>Her face is flushed and her eyes scan your face rapidly.
>You hold yourself above her, panting like a predator above its prey.
"Roseluck, I don't... I'm sorry I'm moving so fast."
>She tries to catch her breath and smiles.
>Her hoof reaches up and gently brushes your cheek, "I'm quite enjoying this. It's been a long time since I've done something like this."
>There's something about her that is driving you wild.
>She's mature.
>She's got a certain... Poise.
>All ominous feelings have been replaced with a deep sense of comfort.
>You will never admit that you may have a bit of an Oedipus Complex...
>"You make me feel young again, Anon."
>Honestly, she doesn't look that old.
>Roseluck sighs and brushes some stray hair from her face.
>"Perhaps we should call it a night here. End our first date on a high note?"
>You get off of her, trying to conceal your uncomfortable erection.
"Of course. I'll see you out."

>With one last kiss, you send Roseluck off.
>She politely declines your offer to walk her home.
>After she is gone, you stand in the living room, staring at the couch.
"Well. That was... Intense."
>Roseluck's lily on the floor catches your eye.
>You walk over and pick it up.
>It's a very fresh flower.
>She must have clipped it not too long before coming to your place.
>You close your eyes and bring the flower to your nose.
>It has her scent.
>Her lily perfume...
>With only a slight bit of shame, you clutch the flower and head to the bathroom.
>Starting a cold shower, you give the flower another sniff and start undressing.
>Before anything, you will have to take care of the bulge in your pants.
>You finish stripping, grab the flower, and step under the cold shower spray.
>It's quite amazing how much your opinion of Roseluck has changed in one night.
>Now you realize you miss her already.
>Hopeless romantic...
>With your eyes closed, you inhale Roseluck's scent and pleasure yourself.
>The bathroom door opens.
>You whip around and drop the flower, covering yourself.
>Twilight steps into the bathroom.
>She looks curiously at your poorly hidden erection.
>A mischievous smile spreads across her face.
>"I saw Roseluck leave on my way back. I see SOMEONE had a good night..."
>You frown at her and sigh.
"Get in here and help me with this."
>Twilight giggles and closes the door behind her.
>"With pleasure."

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>Saturday morning you go with Twilight, Rarity and Flitter to the train station.
>It's time to meet the girl Rarity has hooked you up with.
>The three of you sit at a table, sipping coffee.
>Rarity leans toward you and gushes, "Sooooo, you simply HAVE to tell me how your date went with Roseluck!"
>You clear your throat and mumble.
>Twilight rolls her eyes and looks at Rarity, "He won't tell you, but from what I hear, Anon spent most of the night with his tongue down her throat."
>You almost spit coffee out and choke.
"TWI!"
>Twilight and Rarity giggle like school girls.
>Flitter blushes and drinks her coffee quickly.
>She squeaks and spits the coffee back into the cup.
"Are you okay?"
>She looks at you sheepishly, her tongue between her teeth.
>"I'sh hot..."
>Rarity clops her hooves, "Oh! Anon will kiss it better!"
>Twilight snickers and nudges your arm.
>Flitter sticks her tongue out at you expectantly.
>These damn ponies have no shame in public.
>The 'fun' is interrupted by a train pulling into the station.
>You all get up and go to wait as the doors open and ponies begin hopping off.
>Rarity suddenly waves a hoof, "Oh! Over heeeere~!"
>You follow her gaze and spot a very young looking mare trying to wrestle with a large suitcase.
>She has an off-white coat and a blue mane.
>Just like your Japanese school girls back home, she wears a sailor collar around her neck.
>Rarity was NOT kidding.
>This pony is the epitome of cuteness.
>She finally reaches you, breathing heavy from lugging her suitcase.
>"H-Hello!"
>Her voice is just as cute as the rest of her.
>Rarity pushes you forward.
>"Anon, this is Coco Pommel. Coco, this is Anon."

And that's where I end this for now.
Thank you guys for motivating me to continue this. Especially you, Hawkeye.

>>30057359
Thanks for continuing this, I've been waiting awhile for an update

>>30057359

We really appreciate it m80

>>30057359

It's nothing. And Lord knows I need you here to keep the place alive. I can't thank you enough for picking back up with this. I really live adorkable Flitter.

I'd make my heard all get fucking jobs and give me 20 percent of their earnings.

>>30058745

Living off of your herd, eh? I think I have a link for you when I get home from work. It's a WIP, so you know.

>>30059019
I'd also piss on them all. And they all have to sleep outside. In the shed. You know.
Also, i'd make them shave my name into their coats. So everyone knows who they belong to. They would also all be unicorns. So I could pick them up and carry them by the horns. Stupid whores.

>>30059051
2edgy m8

File: Not Even Bismuth.jpg (237KB, 917x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>30059051

Lookout everybody, we've got a badass comin' through!

File: 1491960619842.jpg (279KB, 1180x1024px) Image search: [Google]

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Anyways, here's chapter 1 of a thing a friend of mine is working on:

https://pastebin.com/yWbCg6Kv

Or at least better be working on.

And not playing MTG like some kind of plebian.

>>30057302
Leaf you really hate kids don't you

>>30059051
Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.

>>30059583
Thank haw.

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>>30059831
Y U SAY THAT M8?

>>30060164
Because you have said multiple times that you can't have kids in your stories, I just assume you don't want any.

>>30060171
I didn't realize I was projecting that hard. You're absolutely right though. Can't stand children.