I brought you blue, Anon. Lemme smash.

>>29967185
No, Gilda.

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>>29967204
you want yellow?
I got yellow.

>>29967222
We don't want yellow Gilda , go find dash

Sure.

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>>29967251
maybe you will change your mind if i have....
GREEN

>>29967288
You got some gold?

>>29967306
thats discount yellow

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>>29967329
>gryphon
>calling gold discount yellow

>>29967346
>not making others believe their valuables are worthless
>not buying out their valuables dirt cheap
Do you even /biz/?

>>29967406
No.
I /diy/ and have several thousands in semiprecious, precious stones and enough guns and ammo to destroy a quarter of my neighborhood.

>>29967417
Good for you.

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You have plenty of discount yellow Anon.
Now lemme smash!

I'd rather smash Gilda.

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You used to lemme smash.
What if I bring you red?

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>>29967406

>>29968970
Okay, bring me red and orange and I will let you smash.

What the hell is blue?

>>29969295
a color

SWIGGITY
W
O
O
T
Y

The thought of a griffon bringing "gifts" to those they love is really sweet.
But then the dead mice come...

>Gilda has been desperate for a mate to plow her brains out ever since she got chased out of Ponyville the one time and mostly shunned in her own hometown
>ponies won't go with her at all because Ponka decided to be a massive douche and tell everyone griffins a shit forever
>her own kind won't fug her
>not even dragons will use and breed her silly
>with no options left, she turns to the only thing left to pick from: anon
>and with this, it began
>at first, simple gifts would appear before Anon's doorstep
>shiny branches, gemstones and the like
>anon is confused but shrugs and takes them to sell for dosh
>then, letters from Gilda enter his mail
>Anon again feels confused, but doesn't pay it any mind
>after this, Gilda eventually just goes to anon and asks for him to 'smash her', aka fuck her brains out
>poor anon though doesn't have a thing for catbirds and tells her no
>Gilda ain't having any of that shit anymore
>she's too in need and in heat to be rejected again
>and from that point on, anon ended up with Gilda doing crazier and wilder and grander things for him by the day
>all for the purpose of getting him smitten with her and to stick his benis in her to finally be enjoyed
>such is life for anon, as he now has a crazy catbird who will do ANYTHING to finally be 'smashed'

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>>29969295
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TcLxlkc2pA

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>>29969354
>not smashing this
being gay truly is a disease

>>29969354
Summoning writefucks

>>29969413
Requesting Gilda going full swiggity swoogety.

>>29969354
>>such is life for anon, as he now has a crazy catbird who will do ANYTHING to finally be 'smashed'

This gives me an idea, but I'll only be able to build on it later.

Rubbity rub :DDD

>>29969386
But would you smash Greta and Gabby at the same time despite your frail stamina?

>>29970480
It'd rather Gretta.

>>29970542
>Not making a KFC double down sammich with three kitty chickens at once
What a faggot.

>>29969378
Fuck's sake why is that so funny

>>29970158
I'm interested, Anon. Don't fail me now.

>>29969413
this

>>29970480
>despite your frail stamina
Their back halves are lion, do you know how fast lions screw? It's over in like, five seconds.

>>29971964
Yeah but they fuck like 20 times a day.

>>29970601
>Did not realize I could do this.
>Animal Style.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

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>>29971975
Damn, a whole two minutes of sporadic fucking throughout the day.

Nah senpai, if that's happening I'd hold her down and keep going till I get off inside her.

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>>29971990
I wonder if you could hold her in place with one hand by tightly gripping the scruff of her neck?

>>29969386
is there an unedited version I need to see that pussy pussy.

>>29969378
I need to know that song at the end. I've been looking for it and I can't find it.

>>29970158
Excellent

>>29969354
So basically the Flutterrape thread, but with catbird instead of bananahush.

"Why do you keep bringing garbage organized by color, Gilda?
>"lemme smash anon"
>"plz"
"What does that even mean?'
>"lemme smash"
"Jesus Christ Gilda!"
>"wat color is jesus, i can get that color for you?"
>Gilida starts making a weird ass strut in at you.
>"SWIGGITY SWOOGETY"
>You take a step back, Gilda reacts by hoping 6 foot and landing 1mm in front of the threshold of your front door.
"If you cross that threshold I swear to god I'll slap your shit!"
>Gillda spread her wings out and stands up straight and stiff.
>She flops her head from side to side in some kind of dance.
>"Anon. Do. You. Want. To. Smash."

>>29969354
>>29970158

>A couple of weeks went by and Gilda was proving herself to a fine stooge.
>Late in the afternoon, you were sorting through the valuables she's collected for you...
>"Collected"? At this point they're probably stolen.
>More gems, a couple of gold nuggets, a freakin' sweet ass sword.
>She's been pretty good to you.
>It wouldn't be long until she came back banging at your door.
>Sure enough, she would be back with your next order.
>"Anon, ANON! I got purple!"
>The catbird was becoming a bit of a cuckoo munchkin, she took to calling whatever she retrieved for you by their color.
>Guess her deteriorating mind no longer has time to process the actual nomenclature of things.
>She continued to knock frantically at your door.
>"ANON, I GOT PURPLE!"
"Will you calm your nips, I'm coming!"
>"Oh you will be..."
>Fuck sakes.
>"C'mon,c'mon,c'mon, open up you cunt!"
>You'll pretend you didn't hear that.
>Opening up the door, Gilda barged in and dashed head first towards your crotch.
>"ANON, I GOT PURPLE, NOW LEMME SMASH!"
"Err, fucking..."
>You pushed her away so you could check out the goods.

>>29972009
>Grab a large filing clip and get her by the scruff.
>She is confused as her body goes limp.
>Leave her and go shop.
>Get home and she is yelling at you still in a piled heap.

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>>29967185
How does a bird give a blowjob?
Wouldn't it hurt with the beak?

>>29972775
It'd be extremely painful.

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>>29972734
>not taking advantage of the catbird completely at your mercy

>>29972709
>"Ponies, I'm learning to jump for Anon. Help me."
>"Just walk. But like up."
>"I can't walk up, Dash. That's not how it works. Stupid fu-"
"Gilda, what're you doing?"
>"I'm learning to jump for you, Anon."
"Gilda, I will never smash you. You know that right?"
>"B-but why?"
"Your tail is too small."

>>29972775
Their beaks are made out of cartoon creature rubber, Anon.
It'll feel fine.

>>29972787
Where is the fun in that?
Now where is my laser pointer?

>>29972781
She's a big bird.

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>>29968970
I'll start smashing if you bring me some reds.

>>29972717
"Alright, let's see what you got for me toda-holy shet! The shades I asked for!"
>From under her wing, Gilda presented you a set of sunglasses.
>Not just any pair, but a set just like the one's that DJ horse had.
>You were mirin' them for a while, and you wanted a pair for yourself.
>When you went to try them on, you found that they were a little to big for your head.
>Almost as if they were designed for a Pone's noggin'
"Gilda, where did you get these..."
>One look at her and you got a good idea of what happened.
>"Erm, she, uh, she gave them to me! Yea, yea, that's it!"
>Judging by her ruffled feathers and the blood on her claws, you felt there were some inconsistencies in her story.
>You went to your front door and poked your head out, and took a look around.
>"What's wrong, Anon? Can I smash?"
"Get your stupid ass back inside!"
>You were hoping the local guard didn't follow her here, the last thing you want here are cops.
"Did you really have to kill a bitch?"
>"I didn't kill, I got her to give them to me!"
>And by that, she means she mauled her until she surrendered them.
"Gilda, I swear to the gods, if I get arrested over your shit..."
>You wondered why she would do this in a town where she's reviled.
>She won't get away with this.
>Then again, what do you care when you're a pariah?

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>>29972809

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>>29972860
Come on, quit being a little bitch and smash her already.

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>>29967185
>Gilda, lemme smash.

>>29973061
You didn't....just draw that did you?

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>>29972860
...Keep going.

>>29969378
Wait lemme smash is refering to sex
>>29967185
Yeah sure why not.

>>29969354
>Benis
I'm am rofl right now.

bumper

>>29974215

>>29972026
discreet turtle
https://derpibooru.org/789526?q=artist%3Adiscrete+turtle%2C+gilda

>>29969337
Someone wrote a green text about that.

Requesting a green of Anon yelling at poners.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHMZshOxK7k

oh shit

>>29976447
>That ass

How can ponies even compete?

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>>29979392
By being more princessly.

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>>29979403

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>>29967306

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>>29979573
Faggot.

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>>29980264
Queer.

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>>29980777
Bitch boy.

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>>29980832
Please, Equestria is chock full of fertile and willing mares. Enjoy your hybrid abomination for fifty bits an hour.

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>>29967185
FUCK YEAH, LET'S GET SMASHED

>>29980264
>>29979403
Hey it'sthose dead thread princesses!

>>29980869
Quality is worth paying for. Just get her some blue and she'll want to smash.

>>29967185
Blues? Like music?

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>>29972860
"Alright, I'll let you stay here and lay low for a while".
>The Griffon's eyes lit right up.
>Being allowed to spend the night, Is tonight the night where she finally gets to smash?
>After shoving your new pair of glasses into your drawer to hide them, you turned over to Gilda.
>She continued to stare at you, and was twitching with anticipation.
>You have to admit, after having her around this long, she's kinda grown on you.
>She was pretty cute, despite her neglecting her appearance somewhat.
>The eagle headed feline began rubbing up against you, like a real cat would've.
>And her purring, she sounded like a motor.
>She got behind you, stood on her hind legs, and grabbed you from behind.
>Looks like she's trying to get a little flirty with you, engaging in a little bit of foreplay.
>You could feel the vibrating of her purring against your back, and you have to admit, it was one hell of a massage.
>Perhaps tonight was the night where you finally gave her what she wanted.
>It's probably best to do it now, before she starts to look like a crackwhore.
>Before things could start getting hot and heavy, your greed began to get the best of you.
>That little devil on your left shoulder reared his ugly little head.
>For whatever reason, he came to you as a big nosed, hand rubbing prick.
>"Don't be whorin' yaself out just yet, there's one more thing you should get from hoir".
>What more can you get out of her? She's been so generous to you!
>"Remembah dat amulet the Great and Powerful what's her face told you about?"
>Oh yea, the Alicorn Amulet, you've been reading up on it.
>"Think Anon, how powahful it could make you, you'd never need that boid again!"
>You started to learn a thing or two about magic, and you've even been reading up on it.
>With such an item, maybe you could take over this world of magical, candy colored equines.
>But would Gilda be willing to go that far? Such a thing would likely be well protected, and hidden.

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>>29981859
Keep going faggot

>>29981859
>Gilda was still getting all touchy-feely on you while you were still deep in your thoughts.
>How much farther could you take her? There is a point where she'll say 'Enough is enough!'
>Or worse, she might just snap.
>Feeling around her body, you could feel that she had evolved to take down prey around your size.
>You didn't even want to imagine what she could do to you.
>Where the hell was the angel that was supposed to appear on your other shoulder? Where's the good side of your conscience that was supposed to talk you out of this shite?
>Nowhere to be found, apparently.
>That being said, you rationalized it to yourself that the risks were well worth it.
>The possibility of getting godlike powers was well worth the risk of getting torn to shreds.
>Either that, or she'll get herself arrested on her quest and she'll be off your tits.
>Here goes nothing.
"Wait, wait, Gilda..."
>It looked like she was going for your mouth to kiss you, and stopping her seemed to annoy her.
"Before we go at it, I need you to get one more..."
>"AAAARGH!"
>She let go of you and dropped back onto all fours, and walked away and laid down on the floor, defeated.
>Not the most pleasant reaction, but you were still relieved.
>It could've been a lot worse.
>Now to continue negotiations.
"Gilda, I know you've gotten me so many nice things already, but there's one more very important thing I need you to get for me..."
>She looked back towards you, still dejected.
>Poor girl, if she were male youd've given her the worst possible case of blueballs.
"Just get this one thing for me, then you can smash".
>"What is it?"
"I'll let you know tomorrow".
>She sighed, and then went to go sleep on your rug.
>Seeing her in such a state, you offered up your bed, she earned that much.
>You were going to get settled in your easy chair, you had some reading to do.
>Another big thank you to Gilda for getting all the 'beige' from Twi's place.

Anon's a real piece of shit, ain't he?

>>29982359
Anon had better stuff her like thanksgiving dinner after all of this

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you had better not let this thread die faggots

>>29981210
>letting her smash you
>not smashing her first

submissionfags need to leave

Smash

>>29985505
why not both?

>>29967185
You! You! Give us smooth!

>>29985380
Wud smish

Bump while I write some green for you faggots.

>>29988596
>After a day of work, you come home with nothing more in mind than a cold beer.
>You know that's not going to play out, though.
>That griffon is going to be at your door with some trinket of indiscernible origin and will promptly ask you to "smash."
>Your house is in sight and... she's not there.
>For some reason that's disconcerting, but you let it slide for now as you walk in and grab a beer from the fridge.
>You sip from it as you make your way to the bedroom, unbuttoning your shirt as you do so.
>The light is flicked on and laying on the floor is a pony, bound and gagged, fear in their eyes.
>"Anon, I brought you purple! Let me smash!," comes Gilda from your bed.
>If you remember correctly, that's the local school teacher, Cheerilee was it?
"Alright, I let the whole obsession thing slide, I paid no mind when you followed me around, and I even turned a blind eye to the petty theft you performed trying to impress me. This is too far, Gilda. Let her go and leave."
>She slides off your bed and slowly circles the pony.
>"I can't do that, Anon. If I let her go, she'll go straight to the guards; I can't let them take us away from each other."
"Let her go and I'm sure we can just talk this out. No-one has to know."
>Cheerilee nods to this and makes agreeable mumbles.
>"That's not how it's going down, you're going to lemme smash and we'll keep her as our little secret."
"And if I let you smash, but wanted her to go free?"
>"I'd have to make her unable to talk," she places a talon on her throat.
>Cheerilee's eyes pinprick at this and she shakes even more than before.
"I..." you sigh, trying to think of a way out of this.
>You set your beer down on your dresser and look at yourself in the mirror.
"Get on the bed."
>Gilda makes a happy little half chirp half mew sound as she complies.
>Walking over to the foot of the bed and nearby the pony, you take your shirt off the rest of the way, breaking line of sight with Gilda enough to look to Cheerilee.
(1/2)

>>29988781
>In the brief few seconds you drop your pocketknife to her and mouth the words “run.”
>Your pants come off next and you’re crawling up the bed to her as she breathes heavily and you can practically see hearts in her eyes.
>What happened after that is a blur, though you recall the two of you becoming a sweaty heap of hormones and ecstasy.
>At one point a pair of guards barged in and one yelled “HALT, CRIMiinal sc-sc…,” before slowly backing out and waiting for the moaning, groaning, and panting to stop.
>After it was all done the two of you drifted to sleep in the afterglow, where Gilda was taken to a correctional facility and you were taken to a hospital for dehydration.
>You now visit her twice a month for conjugal Friday.
(2/2)

>>29988784
Well that's awfully nice of Anon.

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>>29982359
>The next morning, you went over to the Sugarcube Corner.
>Your plans for the day were to gather some intelligence regarding the whereabouts of the Amulet.
>But first, you were going to settle down outside, enjoy a coffee and doughnut, and read the paper.
>You were going to read up on the civilian that Gilda mauled yesterday, and then beat her with the article later.
>'Concert Cancelled, Star Performer Severely Injured, No Suspects Found'.
>You don't know how she did it, but she's evaded the authorities.
>With any luck, Little Miss DeeJay here won't be able to remember what happened.
>What elese is interesting to read about?
>As you enjoyed your little breakfast, a familiar bouncing sound was making it's way towards you.
>It's the poner with the cotton candy looking mane, Pinkie.
>You can't help but be annoyed whenever she comes around.
>Just the shit she talked about Griffons and all this shit she ended up causing with Gilda made you just want to kick her like a stray dog.
>But she thicc, and you don't wanna burn that bridge.
>"HIII, NONNY!"
>You really wish she didn't call you that.
"Hey there Pinkie, you're surprisingly chipper today, considering the circumstances".
>You showed her the headline in the Foal Free Press.
>She responded with a really deep, prolonged gasp.
>"I was sooooo looking forward to going!"
>You would've too, if you didn't stand out in a crowd and could get away with groping mares.
>Nigga hu ackbar, huehuehue.
"Any idea who done it?"
>"I'll bet it was one of those griffons!"
>Das rasis, Ponks.
>After a short chat, and checking up on customers, she promptly bounced back into the shop.
>As she did so, you whispered to yourself:
"Goddamn it, when I rise to power, that ass is as good as mine!"

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>>29989592
This is good. I don't follow many greens, but I'm definitely following this one.
Pic unrelated.

>>29989919
I want that backpack more than the fields of flowers want the sun.

>>29988784
kek
that couldve taken a dark turn

>>29989919
Isn't that a cupcakes fanart pinkie?

>>29990149
Yes

>>29989592
Boi you better not drop this.

BAMP

no gilda i dont want sum fuk go smash dash

>>29973035
that's a really nice drawing

i've saved this drawing

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>>29989919
>that image

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>>29969378
Fixed.

Mump

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>>29989919
>there are little girls RIGHT NOW making use of a backpack with fanart of a dark gore MLP fanfiction

Thanks China.

>>29991643
Chyna is truly glorious

>>29989919
Writefag here, I appreciate it.

Also, bumping to continue later.

>>29973070
https://derpicdn.net/img/2017/2/13/1361524/large.png

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>>29989919
It took me a second but then I could almost hear a record scratch.

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>>29989919
I want it.

>>29995063
Bumpu. Lemme Smash.

>>29989592
>After breakfast, you went back home to go load up on some more bits, gold and gems.
>You felt that it was necessary to procure some bribe money.
>"Anon! Did you find out what you need? Can I smash?"
>You gave her a good whack on the head with the newspaper when she tried to get near your D.
"Pipe down, Gilds! I know what I need, I just need to figure out where it is..."
>The Griffon climbed back to your bed, and lied back down.
"I'm gonna be in and out, there might be a few time where I'll be gone for a while, you can help yourself to my food while I'm away..."
>She just sat there, staring at you. You could detect a hint of lust in her eyes.
>You'd think after striking her she wouldn't even look at you.
"Whatever you do, don't leave the house until I tell you to".
>"Okay, I gotcha".
>And with that, you were off.
>You didn't exactly trust the birb with your shit, but it was another risk you were willing to take.
>Anything for power it seems.
>You remembered the little blue wizard pone told you the last person that had the Amulet was Twilight.
>So you know where your first stop is going to be.
>As you walked through town, the locals were looking at you rather suspiciously.
>You didn't work, as far as they could tell, yet you had accumulated a fair deal of wealth.
>They didn't say anything about it of course, they had no proof of any wrongdoing done by you.
>The Ponim haven't found out, rubbeti rub :DDD
>When you made it to the big crystal castle, you knocked on the door, and were greeted by Twilight's little helper.
>"Oh, uhh, hey Anon! What brings you here?"

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>>29989919
fuck

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>>29969378

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>>29989919
[ Zoomed Words ]

>>29989919
Oh my giddy aunt.

You know the person that green lit that design is into some freaky shit.

>>29997065
Looking forward to more

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>>29967185
oh god i can hear the voice

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>>29989919
WAIT A FRICK FRACKING SECOND

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>>29972820
Catbirds confirmed for ancap?

Any of you have that pic of Gilda getting booped and proofing up?

>>30000924
Seconding this

also, bump

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>>29972781
>>29972809

Birb Bump

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>>30000924
>>30001960
Dude, you could have just gone on booru and searched "Gilda, boop", it would have been the first result.

>smashing Gilda

>not making sweet love to your tsundere catbird waifu

Plebs

>>29967251
Dash is a hoe

>>29997065
Nigga I swear if you dropped this...

>>29997065
>You're going to have to be very careful not to arouse either Spike's or Twilight's suspicions.
>Speaking of Twilight, where is she?
"Is your friend Twilight in the building?"
>"Right upstairs in the study".
"I would like to have a word with her, if she isn't too busy".
>"Right this way".
>Perfect.
>He led you through the great hall, and up a couple flights of stairs.
>Then he led you to the castle's library, lo and behold, there was little miss Purple Smart.
>"Oh, why hello, Anon! To what do I owe this pleasure?"
>Keep it together.
"I'm here to do a little bit of research, what literature do you have on magic?"
>"Well, I used to have plenty, but quite a few of my books seem to have gone missing..."
>'Gee, I wonder what could've happened to them'.
>'Rub rub rub', goes your hands
"I'll make do with whatever you have".
>"Fantastic! I'll show you the section where you can find them".
>She was so enthusiastic to find someone with scholarly interests, it seemed.
>The shelf she led you to was almost half empty.
>Gilda did quite a good job for you.

>>30006597
Don't worry, I haven't died yet.

This is all fine but what bothers me is that Gilda should be saying gimme smash instead, unless you literally want to be pegged by a catbird draping her claws over your back

>>30007199
>unless you literally want to be pegged by a catbird draping her claws over your back
Do you not?

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>>30007199
You just made this sound even better.

>>30007601
getting pegged by tsundere catbirb waifu. truly we live in the pinnacle age of humankind.

Bunp

>>29986539
You! You! Give us silky!

>>29991643
>reads comment
>>29989919
>begins closer examination
>....
SWEET JESUS HOW THE HELL DID I MISS ALL THAT!?!

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http://imgur.com/rlqVXCW

>>30010608
>no penetration
boooooooo

>>30007101
>There were a lot of books missing here.
>How the hell was Gilda able to carry so many?
>No matter, she brought you half the information you need, hopefully the other half was here.
>You were going to be here for a little while...

>A couple of hours later, Book Smarts came back around.
>"Excuse me, Anon, I need to leave to run an errand, I'll be gone for a while. If you need anything, Spike will be here".
"Thank you, Twilight, I appreciate your help".
>'Don't mention it! Bye!".
>Ah, such an adorable little bookworm.
>It almost makes you feel bad about the shit you're going to pull.
>Almost.
>An hour later, you felt that you had taken enough notes.
>Now, you had to figure out if she had any sort of supply records, a manifest file (or whatever the hell it's called)...
>Do they keep track of what comes in and goes out here?
>Thankfully someone soon came around with that information.
>"Oh, hey Anon! Is everything okay?"
>His timing couldn't have been better.
"Spike, I need to ask a very big favor of you..."
>The young dragon looked at you with a noticeable degree of concern.

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>>30011123
>"If you're trying to ask Twilight on a date, I don't think I'd be able to help with that".
>Oh good lord...
"What? No nonononono, I need an inventory list, what does this castle supply?"
>"Oh, I, uhh, don't think I'm allowed to just let anyone see that..."
>That's when you made your first dip into your bribe money.
"Spike, it is important that I learn what come in and out of this place, and I'm ready to pay dearly for it..."
>You presented him a rather large bag of bits and gems.
"Go ahead and feel around in there, make sure there's no rocks or nothin'".
>He was succumbing to the temptation, you could see it in his eyes... and his mouth.
>His mouth was watering, you had almost forgotten that gems were a delicacy to his kind.
>Despite his hesitation, he would end up taking the bag from you.
>Yesssss, good dragoy!
>Will that Devil Jew in your head ever stop?
>"It's... right this way".
>Judging by how he seemed to be closing his body up, and his refusal to look at you, you could tell he was ashamed.
>He looked like he was violated, like you had just paid him to fellate you.
>Imagine if he knew what you were planning.
>He lead you down several corridors, until he lead you to an office.
>"Here you go, this is where we keep all our records".
"Perfect... Oh, and here's a little something extra, keep watch for Twi, will ya?
>"Umm, sure..."
"If she asks, I'm not here".

>>29967346
> she was naked all along

>>30011460
must have taken a lot to bribe spike gilda is a very good thief

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>>30011460
Keep it up m8.

birbump

>>30014176

Griffons > ponies

bunp

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>>30016859

>>30011460
>He walked off with his extra emerald and left you alone to rummage through the paperwork and records.
>You cracked your knuckles, and then you got to work.

>After about an hour, you seemed to have gotten nowhere.
>Shipments of foodstuffs, toilettries, janitorial supplies, mundane bullshite.
>Christ, how much sugar and baking supplies can these poners go through before they succumb to the beetus?
>Paper, ink..
>General office supplies...
>Large shipment of books, probably replacing whatever you had Gilda steal.
"Goddamn it, I'm running out of time!"
>Going through another drawer, you found a rather peculiar file.
>Since it was marked 'TOP SECRET' in pony runes, this could be either one of two things.
>Either it contained Equestrian state secrets, like info on the whereabouts of the Alicorn Amulet and other important shit.
>Or it contained Twilight's personal secrets, like when her next shipment of buttstuff is supposed to be delivered or whatever the fuck.
>For all you knew, she had a hitlist.
>But then again, if it was personal, it would probably be marked 'CONFIDENTIAL'.
>Well, let's take a peek.
>From crack pot to Jackpot, you finally had a lead.
>You had found their inventory of magic items, relics, artifacts, and weapons.
>As far as you could tell, most of these only held cultural value, possibly religious.
>But some looked like they could be Weapons of Last Resort.
>And that list included...
"Yes!"

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>>30018405
>You finally found the entry on the Amulet!
>If you got any more excited, you would've popped a stiffy right there.
>However, your enthusiasm began to die down as you read on.
>If you weren't mistaken, the document indicated that the Amulet was shipped off site months ago.
>Thankfully for you, Twilight was gracious enough to mark down where it was delivered.
>Canterlot.
>No doubt that it was going to be in a well guarded facility, and very well hidden.
>At least you know where you're investigation is taking you.
>You also took the time to take notes on this other shit.
>Hell, the goldmine you found here could be the equivalent of finding a list of national superweapons stockpiles back home.
>As you took your notes, you thought about that for a moment.
>Why the hell would Twilight keep such an important document in an unguarded office like this?
>Did she assume that some evildoer would just give up searching after a mere inconvenience.
>Whatever the case may be, it's probably best you take your findings with a grain of salt.
>You also took the time to put everything back in it's place, if she found so much as a page out of place she would have a fit.
>Then it was time to get the hell out of here.
>Walking with haste towards the entrance, you passed Spike in the hallway.
"Remember, you saw nothing".
>"I-uhh, okay..."
>Is he sure he saw nothing? His guilty conscience says otherwise.
>You considered the possibility of having to further reward him.
>His Eternal Reward!
>Gilda just get's you the fanciest stabbers, doesn't she?
>Before you could even get a grip on your dagger, or make it to the door,it has already begun to creak open.
>Fucc.

Enjoy the suspense, goodnight.

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>>30018608
y u do dis

>>30018608
>His Eternal Reward!
>Gilda just get's you the fanciest stabbers, doesn't she?
That is quite the descent into madness

>>30015679
>having a waifu that'll give you salmonella and toxoplasmosis

>>30020327
>Having a waifu that's a horse

>>30020327
Doesn't toxoplasma (allegedly) make you gay?

>>30019375
And he hasn't even gotten the amulet yet.

This has gone from "tease the catbird" to "high stakes espionage".

>>30021870
It's more like "nothing happens for 10 posts"

>>30022075
I dunno, I like to have a lot of detail in the rising action of a story. It explains motivations, describes characters, settings, etc.

If you're too impatient to wait for the action, go do something else.

>>30022495
You're assuming we'll ever get past the "rising action"

I also find it rather telling that you need characters and setting explained to you before the story ever starts.

>>30020832
There's a strong correlation between mothers with toxoplasmosis and children who turn out gay.

>>29990031 (Newfag)
>>29990149 (Newfag)
>>29990682 (Newfag)
>>29991643 (Newfag)
>>29993688 (Newfag)
>>29993837 (Newfag)
>>29997194 (Newfag)
>>29998400 (Newfag)
>>29999916 (Newfag)
>>30009655 (Newfag)

>>30023391
Anyone that knows what cupcakes is is definitely not new.

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>>30024544
It's not about the cupcakes you newfag, it's about the picture

>>30024643
Then I must have missed something in my 5+ years of lurking.

>>30024665
me too. but 6 years

>>30018608
>Twilight was back, and she was hauling a cart inside.
>Thankfully for you, she was coming in ass first, so you had a moment to make yourself scarce.
>Surprisingly, even Spike didn't notice you slip out of sight.
>"Oh, Spike, would you mind helping me with this?"
>Spike didn't move or respond, he was still confused about where you went.
>"Spike? Are you okay?"
>He snapped out of his confusion.
>"Oh, uhh, yeah, hehe, sorry about that".
>He began to help Twi unload the cart, which was filled with books.
>Presumably, these were replacements for what was stolen.
>"Well Spike, how did Anon do?"
>"ANON! Where!"
>"He... was just here, wasn't he?"
>"Oh, right, yeah, he must've, uhh, left without telling me".
>Meanwile, you were hiding behind a thick pillar, clutching onto your fancy stabby tool.
>You kept watch on Twilight, waiting for the moment to sneak away and escape.
>"Alright, so let's get these back up into the li-"
>[SLAM]
>"What the-"
>The slam of the door echoed throughout the castle.
>Real stealthy getaway, fucko.
>"Spike, did you see anything?"
>Remember little dragon, ya din see nuffin.

>>30002859
Somebody get this hothead outta here!

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>>30024750
>You bolted, trying to get away from Twi's castle as quickly as possible.
>Unfortunately, you were making a distinctive jingling sound.
>It's like C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶m̶a̶s̶ Hearthswarming came early this year.
>Do these people have bank cards? You hate having to carry a friggin' vault's worth of coins with you everywhere you went.
>Now that you thought of it, they didn't seem to have banknotes either.
>Unfortunately, your little shekel shuffle was going to catch some unwanted attention.
>"Hey Anon!"
"Oh fuck me..."
>It was Rainbow Dyke.
>"Dressed awfully heavy for a run, what're you training for?"
"Rainbow, I don't have time for you!"
>"What's with the knife?"
>You stopped so suddenly that your shoes somehow made a screeching sound on the dirt path.
>What the hell were you still doing with your dagger out?
"What?"
>"What are you doing with that piece?"
>Think Anon, think think think, come up with some bullshit.
"It's to, uhh, protect myself!"
>"What's after you?"
>C'mon Anon, keep the bullshit coming.
"I was just attacked by, erm... A GRIFFON! It stole my shekel! OH, THERE IT IS!"
>"Where!"
"Ohhh, it just retreated into the treeline! Kick 'er ass!".
>"I'll get your shekel back!"
"Hurry!"
>As she flew off persuing a thief that wasn't there, you concealed your weapon and went back on your way back home.
"Haha, dumbass!"
>How long will it be until she realizes there was no Griffon, or wonders what the hell a shekel even is?
>While you're thinking about it, why the hell did you even use that word anyways?

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>>30024910
>After running like a madman all the way through Ponerville, you finally made it back home.
>You thought that maybe you should take a breather from your quest to power for a little bit, and perhaps change into some fresh clothes.
>And while you were at it, maybe you should reflect upon why in the hell you would even THINK about taking out your dagger in the first place.
>It wasn't even a morality thing, it was just a USE YOUR FUCKING HEAD thing!
>What if you actually did shank Spike back there? What would happen?
>It'd be obvious you'd done it, you were the only other person there.
>Twilight would've gotten the whole town together and had you drawn and quartered for killing him.
>You started to talk to yourself.
"Alright Anonymous, calm down, you didn't actually hurt anyone, it's all okay, just take a rest..."
>However, the shocking sight upon opening your door would soon shoot down any hopes of that.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
>Gilda had fashioned herself a sex toy using a pillow, and what appeared to be a cucumber.
>And she was going to town on it.
>She bounced on the bed atop this makeshift fuckbuddy, making the be squeak with every movement.
>With one last bounce, she roared out in ecstasy as the green member pierced her.
>A moment later, she collapsed onto it, and began hug and cuddle it, as if it was a real partner in bed with her.
>"Ohh, Anon, that was amazing".
>Good lord, she's talking to it.
>This is getting creepy now.
>In the afterglow, she didn't seem to notice that you had come home.
>Perhaps it's best you left for the train station now.
>Of course, not without your telescope, camera, and more bribe money.
>Actually, skip the money, you have enough on you.
>Unfortunately you're going to have to go on in your sweaty clothes, you wouldn't dare undress in front of Gilda, especially in this state.

G'night, bois.

>>30024665
Anon thinks you have to be a newfag to have not seen that picture. Which is absurd, it does not show up that often.

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Hey gurl you want some tail?

>>30000184
Pinochet is literally the exact opposite of ancap you fucking retard

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>>30026497
Is this new?
Did my thread do this?

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>>30027231
Nah I was working on it for a few weeks, just a coincidence.

>>30027241
It's bretty gewd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb-gd2K6UiE

>>29967185
I don't like blue.

>>29969386
HIV is a gift from god

>>29969354
There's a thread for this already
>>29912210

bumpis

>>30030039
Hue

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>"Did you need me to get you anything, Anon? If I got it, would you let me smash after?"

Don't die, Gilda hasn't smashed yet.

>>30034106

>>29979392
By having nicer mouths.

Can someone fucking explain this meme to me?

>>30036775
nah

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>>30036785

I will find you, and smash you.

>>29989919
saved

bunp

>>30033414
Gabby is too innocent for smash, but she can get me a half gallon of milk for some head pats and possible petting.

>>30038981
hope you don't mind cat milk

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>>30024665
yeah a couple fucking chromosomes m8

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>>30038981
She's "of age", she's in heat, so she's definitely ready to smash.
She's just not yet desperate enough to do what Gilda would do to get that dick.
Right now, she'll just do some basic house-cat shit and present herself to the most virile male around and hope he will take the offer.

>>30025246
>When you made it to the train station, you were annoyed with the situation.
>The place was packed, was this an evacuation effort?
>Was there an incoming genocide that you weren't aware of?
>Seems everyone's off to Canterlot, there must be some sort of event.
>And of course, ticket prices for the train were marked up triple their usual price.
>After paying the fare you rushed to make it onto the coach car.
>You barely made it on the train before the conductor had declared it's imminent departure.
>Cutting it really close there.
>Now that you had a couple of hours before arriving in the Equestrian capital, you thought about writing your manifesto.
>And while you're at it, perhaps you should start thinking about how your new nation should be run.
>How should you model your new imperium?
>Should it be based on Rome, Germany, Russia, Japan, Persia...
>The Imperium of Man?
>Not feasible, that would require there be more than one Man to begin with.
>What about Ancient Egypt?
>They shall address you as Kek, their king and their god!
>Nah, bad idea.
>Perhaps you should try being creative for once.
>You had to start writing this down.
>However, you weren't too sure if the Pony folk around you could read Latin script.
>So you wrote out your shit phonetically in Cyrillic.
>It looks like Дeбил.
>You wrote out your ramblings until you were interrupted by another one of Twi's friends.
>That prissy, candy-assed fashionista... which just so happens to be another ass that you admire.

>>30019351
Hnnng

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>You can deny her for only so long
>Eventually, she will come for her smashings, Anon
>And she won't be asking, just taking

>>30036775
ask /an/

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>>30002859
What movie is this??

>>30040157
Big Mac is not a hoe like Ben

>>29969378
https://youtu.be/cb-gd2K6UiE

>>29989919
Our influence GROWS!

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>>30011748
feels like I'm wearing NOTHING AT ALL

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>>30042259

>"GILDA SMASH!!!"

>>29972709
OMG. I laughed at this, genuinely, out loud.

Cats and birds are individually so weird. Catbirds...

>Gilda will never rub her pussy all over you to mark you with her scent

>>30043385
And with all those pheromones on you, you can expect the males to come from miles around to get a piece of your ass.

You know what, sign me the fuck up!

>>30042759
Westworld HBO series.

>>30036775
its just a video >>29969378

>>29967185
no violet no smash stupid catbird
you got a short wings

bimp

lemme smash

>>30043385
I could get behind this.

>"Shut up dweeb! This is so everyone knows who you belong to."

>>30042854
I like it.

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>>29989919
>Image
I have several questions.

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>Gilda gets her friends to help figure out how to get you to smash

Page 9 go away

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>>30048712
>That was when you met her friend Greta
>She's quiet but intelligent
>One beige band-aid and a red coke can was all she had to give you.
>The two of you smash that night while Gilda listens through the walls and cries while rubbing one out

>>30048712
>griffons whose names don't start with G
Get out

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>>29989919
I can't imagine the pitch used to pass that.

bunp

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>>30040810

Writefag here

I'm trying to post more, but every time I try to, I keep getting a connection error, but I was still able to bump the thread.

I'll be surprised if this makes it through.
Is this this a sign that I should stop?

>>30053699
you need to manually click the [Post a Reply] at the top or bottom of the thread to post a full 2000 character post, the quick reply won't work for it

>>29970480
You'd die a legend to all males.

>>30048712

Griffon gang-bang

>>30040810

>"Ohh, why hello Anon!"
>Just act friendly with her.
"Hello there Rarity, how might you be?"
>"Absolutely fantastic, darling".
>As irritated as you were to be referred to as 'darling', you weren't going to say anything.
>Like you mentioned before, you admire that ass, and don't want to throw away your chance with that beautiful thing.
>Mmmmmm.
>"Oh, do you mind?"
>She pointed at the seat, requesting to park her rear-end next to yours.
>Normally you would mind, but again, she thicc.
"Not at all".
>You scooted on over to give her some room.
>"Now what might you be doing en-route to Canterlot?"
"I've been here for a little while and yet I know almost nothing about this place, I figured I'd go exploring a little bit, starting with Canterlot".
>"Well, you've picked the right day to do that, a major museum exhibition has been opened up today".
"I take it that's where all these folks are headed".
>Must be a pretty big deal.
>"I'm going to be touring the exibits on display, my hopes for today are-"
"To get inspiration for new designs?"
>"Oooh you can read me like a book, darling!"
>'Well of course, you're pretty predictable'.
>Some time later, you had made it to the end of the line.
>Coming off the train, Rarity was off the exhibition.
>"Are you coming, Anon?"
"I'll catch up to you later!"
>"Very well well, ciao!"

>>30053859
>Before you got going, you just had to get one more gaze upon that fine work of art.
"I wish she had a dick, she'd be so hot".
>That's when you noticed a nearby guard giving you the stink eye.
>You said that out loud, didn't you?
"The hell you lookin' at?"
>He quickly directed his gaze forward.
>Fucking eavesdropper.
>With all that out of the way, it was time to play tourist.

>You spent the better part of an hour walking around aimlessly, sipping tea, and scratching your head.
>Perhaps you should've done a little more research before coming here.
>You didn't want to go around scaring locals, asking about where to find a magical relic with world altering power.
>That would probably attract the attention of the Guard.
>And you can't go around bribing every soldier for the possibility of getting answers, even you didn't have enough dosh for that.
>Maybe you should've sent Gilda to do your dirty work as you always did, isn't this why you have her?
>Then again, she would likely have no idea where to go.
>Or maybe...
>Something in the back of your mind (possibly that damned Semite) was telling you to check out that museum exhibit.
>How would that help you?
>Guess you never know your luck.

>When you finally got within eyeshot of it, you spit out the remainder of your drink in surprise.
>It was looking like a really lucky day.
>There it was, the main attraction!
>Not only that, the exhibition was going onto it's last day.
>How were you not aware of this?
>Perhaps if you didn't live like a goddamned troll in your glorified little cuckshed on the outskirts of town, you would've known about it.

>>30053737
Thanks breh

>>30053886
no problem m8

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>tfw need to draw more catbirds
>tfw lazy af
Give requests, keep'em sfw for now. I might be able to get something out later on

>>30054058
catbird trying to sell Anon on the merits of litterboxes vs toilets

>>30054058
sparkledog griffon variants like owlcheetahs and pelicanocelots and shit

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>>30054180

>>30054058
Pinkie Pie presenting Gilda with a tray of freshly-baked fish cock (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E05nCm1N9Yw)

>>30053886
>Anon's either gay or into futa
Dropped like nukes on Japan

>>30054548
Here, have some normal, straight, not-dickmare Rarity to wash the bad taste out of your mouth.
https://derpibooru.org/555952

>>30054728
>>30054728
You lied to me...

>>30054058
Gabby tries to help Gilda bake. She's better at it, too, and Gilda is pissed.

>>30055403
She looks all smashed out.

>>30058643

>Gilda will never lovingly hold you hostage.

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All right, I guess we should stop.
Including this one, 4 of the last 10 bumps were me.
The only writefag we had turned out to be an actual faggot.
As much as I love Gilda, I think this thread has run it's course.
Hopefully, next catbird thread will have a couple of willing and eager writers in it.

<captcha: park close>

>>30053886
>You went onward towards the glass box that contained it.
>As you got closer, you mouth started to water, like a fatty window shopping outside a bakery.
>Getting even nearer to it, you could feel the energy emanating off of it.
>It felt so good.
>So close, just out of reach.
>'Anon, whatever you do, don't stare at it, it's going to think you're a creep'.
>Everyone else probably thinks you're lusting after the damn thing at this point.
>You took a look down at the plaque if front of the glass.
THE ALICORN AMULET - A magic relic of immeasurable power, as far as what was observed the Amulet is capable of granting the wearer magical capabilities at least equal to that of an Alicorn...
"I'm liking the sound of this..."
As long as the user is wearing it, it cannot be removed by outside forces and can only be surrendered by the free will of the one wearing it.
"Niggas won't be able to do sheit to me..."
However, the Amulet is known to degrade the user's mental state, causing the user to become irrational, and possibly outright insane.
>Nothing you had to worry about, you were already fugged in the upper story.
The one recorded instance where this item was seen in use was during the Imprisonment of Ponyville, where a vengeful Trixie Lulamoon...
"Well sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit gurl, why didn't she tell me she dun this?"
>She's probably just trying to leave this all behind, too bad for her.
>Now that you found what you were looking for, it was time to figure out how you were going to secure it.
>Or rather, where it was going to be for Gilda to secure it.
>And for God's sake, be discreet about your intel gathering!

>>30054548
M8, Anon ain't gay, he just wants to taste some feminine dick.
but seriously, he's got a devil Jew on his conscience, of course he'd be a depraved mongrel
also, he's not supposed to be likable.

>>30060727
Be patient with the writefag. Maybe he doesn't want to write every day, or maybe he's busy. I'm interested enough to keep it bumped, as long as the writefag is interested enough to keep writing.

>>30060759
This thread has been up for almost two weeks and your story still hasn't really started.

So yes. You're an actual faggot (Or just a bad writer) and this thread should just die.

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>>30060929
>The story has to fit my attention span
There's an argument against stories that drag on too long, but I'm enjoying this one. If you don't like it, just hide the thread.

>>30060759
>After about two hours of writing notes and taking photos (and being followed around by the guards who kept telling you not to take photos), you had almost all the information you needed.
>Almost...
>The one thing that still remained a mystery to you was where it was going, and how was it going to be transported.
>Thankfully, they had handed that answer to you on a golden platter, free of charge.
>On a giant posterboard, they printed a map, with detailed information on the routes and destinations the airship would be taking.
>And it seemed the next destination was Manehattan.
>To make things even better, they even provided you with the specs of their little blimp, the number of guards stationed aboard, and even where the artifacts themselves were going to be stored.
>All this without having to shell out a single bit.
>You didn't exactly take the equine folk for being particularly arrogant, but holy Christ.
>They were just blowing smoke up their own asses.
>Just wait until their little treasure gets stolen.
>Now that you had everything you needed it was time to leave.
>The princess herself was supposed to be giving a speech towards the end of the evening, but you didn't care to hear it.
>You just wanted to beat the crowds.

>About halfway through to the train station, you spied a little grey pegasus, in a mailmare's uniform.
>You recognized her, Ditzy, was it?
>You couldn't remember her name, all you remembered was that she liked muffins.
>As far as you knew, she only worked locally, what could she be doing here?
>Thankfully, that first guard you ran into had also reappeared, heading in the same direction.
>He probably thinks you're some sort of sick fetishist, but whatever.
"Hey you! You wanna make a little extra money?"
>"Eugh! Excuse me?"
>He looked at you all disgusted, as if you were soliciting sex or something.
>You can already tell this was going to be frustrating.
"I just need a simple job done, nothing extreme".
>"I'm listening".

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>>30061242
>The little grey guard continued to look at you like you were diseased.
"All I need you to do is to follow that pegasus over there, find out what she's doing, who she talks to, what she's being told".
>"Ooookay, why?"
>You presented a bag of bits to him to shut him up.
"Just do this for me, take this as a down payment, go ahead and check there's no counterfeit in there".
>"I think I believe you... Fine, I'll do it".
>Cripe, this guy really does think you're a retrovirus ridden degenerate.
"I'll be at the train station for the next two hours, I'll have the rest of your pay ready then".
>Reluctantly, he agreed, and went off.

>You waited at the train station and parked your arse on an empty bench.
>The hours passed by, and sure enough, right on the hour, the valliant guard had returned.
"Well, what've you got for me".
>"Believe it or not, that mailmare went directly to Princess Celestia".
>Now this was quite interesting.
>"She told her to be there for five in the afternoon two days from now".
"Yes, yes, go on".
>"And then to make a stop in Ponyville to meet Twilight".
>The gears were turning in your head, trying to make sense of this.
>"That's all I could find out".
>And that's when the next train arrived.
>You dropped a bag of bits on the bench, and walked off to board the train.
"Thanks for your help".
>The guard just stood there, confused, and afraid to touch the bag of money.
>"Feh, what a freak".

>Late in the evening, you arrived home to a sleeping Gilda on your bed.
>This is good, you thought, she's going to need all the rest she can get.

>>30061930

Glad to see Gilda get back in on this. Looking forward to he escapades.

>>30054058
das a kyut birb.

>>29967417
School shooter confirmed?

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>>29989919
PUT ME IN THE SCREENCAP!

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>>30060929
>He takes his time to write, balancing life and writing for no material gain.
>HURR, HE'S A BAD WRITER!
Kill yourself, faggot.

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>>30061260
>Late the next morning, after a quick shopping spree for supplies, you got to preparing Gilda for the task at hand.
>What the hell did you buy today, anyways?
>Everything an operator could need for a smash and grab mission:
>You made her some smoke bombs.
>Some pepper spray, made with some of the hottest chilies you could find, which included a couple from your garden (what was left of it, after Gilda scavenged it for buttstuff).
>A crowbar.
>A hand drill.
>Some bobby pins.
>A net.
>Some bean bags, and a gun to fire them.
>Those last two you made yourself.
>But why didn't you just make a real gun that fired boolets or shot?
>It's not like you're an engineer or anything.
>You also fashioned her a black suit, a balaclava, and a gas mask, complete with a nice little chest rig to hold all her equipment.
>Also, you couldn't forget a duffel bag, she still had to carry your prize.
>Now that you had her all suited up, it was time to brief her.
>You had all your maps and diagrams on the table, and it was time to explain it all to her.
"The airship is going to be departing Canterlot at around midnight tomorrow, and it's going to be taking this route you see here, now I would recommend-...Gilda, personal space please".
>She was standing right snugly next to you, she was so close you could practically feel the heat she was in.
>She backed off, and you continued.
"Now then, the item you're looking for is going to be below decks here in a secure safe. Now there's going to be a lot of guards both in the ship and around it, you're going to have to be ready for anything".
>"Oh believe me, I am..."
>And that's when you felt her purring on your back.
>How did you not notice her getting behind you?
"You stop that!"
>"Can I smash just a little bit before I go?"
"No, dammit!"
>That's when there was a knocking at your door.

>>30064693
I think he's referring to how long it's been dragging on, but I'll admit, some stuff is probably over-explained.

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>>30064341
>not knowing /k/ and /mlp/ overlap like crazy

>>30065620
>7.62 AK mags surrounded by loose 5.56 rounds
>those ponies
somebody sure has some shit taste in everything

>>30066946
>>30067629
These birbs are so tiny!

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Bumping, with cute Gilda to boot.

bunp

>>30070080
>you will never raise her as your daughter.

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B U M P
U
M
P

>>30065478
"Oh son of a bitch, hurry!"
>You pushed out your чики-бpики catbird out the back door.
>But before you could get her all the way out.
"Oh, one more thing".
>You handed her your telescope, she's going to need it.
"You know what to do, now GO!"
>"When I get the red, I can smash?"
"All you want, also, keep the black on when you get back, you look good in it".
>She affectionately swiped her claws your way and flew off.
>As soon as she left, you went ahead and grabbed your sword, it was time to overreact to the folks at the front door.
>You swung the door open and pointed your blade at the pones at the door.
"WHAT YOU WANT! Who sent you, you bastards?!?!
>"Oh, oh my..."
>"Ah told ya he'd be on edge".
>Brilliant, it's Applejackass and her pushover friend, Fluttersheep.
>What the hell could these two want?
"Ahh cripe, I'm sorry, I don't know what came over myself".
>"M-m-maybe it has something to do with you not getting out all that much... could you please put the sword away?"
>What the hell were they talking about? You were out all day yesterday.
>You set you sword aside and let them continue.
>"We were just a little concerned that ya might be lonley, being the only one of yer kind here in Equestria n' all".
>"Just so you know, if ever you need a friend, we'll be here for you".
"Yea, that's great, but I'm kinda in the middle of something".
>"Do ya need a helpin' hoof?"
>Absolutely fucking not.
"No thank you, I can handle it myself".
>"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Now please, go!".

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BUMPING FOR MORE GILDA GREEEEEEEEEEEENNNNN

>>30059723
yandere gilda green when?

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>>30073023
>You slammed the door on them, but they were stalling on leaving you the hell alone.
>They stuck around to have a conversation, but about what?
>You grabbed a glass from your table, dumped out the contents, put it against the door, and you listened in.
>"Anon is acting awfully strange, do you think he might be up to, umm..."
>"No good? I don't know, he is awfully well off... and that sword he was swingin' around looked familiar".
>Anon, you dumb shit.
>"A lot of things also seem to have gone missing, do you think any of those things have been ending up here?"
>"Maybe, but there's always feathers at the crime scenes, an' as far as I can tell, he ain't got no feathers".
>"What if someone with feathers is... I think I'm overthinking this".
>Yes, good ponim, Anon hasn't been stealing anything, honest!
>"Ah say we talk ta Twilight about this".
>Uh oh.
>That right there would just Oy your Veys.
>The last thing you need when you're so close to achieving your goal is her meddling!
>"We'll go see her tomorrow, she's a bit busy today".
>Oh, this is just perfect.
>That gives you all the time you need for you to make your next move.

>Hours later, as the sun was setting, Gilda had arrived to the top of the mountain overlooking Canterlot.
>The airship was still docked at the platform below, still being loaded up for it's journey ahead.
>She maintained overwatch, keeping a lookout for the package she was looking for.
>Hearing the flapping wings of a pegasus, she dashed towards the nearest bush for cover.
>The golden armored trooper flew by, completely unaware of Gilda's presence.
>This was going to be a long night, but she was willing to do anything for your D.

I swear I'll stop posting merchants after this

>>30061073
Yeah, same. I'm liking this one, as long as he doesn't drop the fucker.

>>30072381

>>30074739
Come on you fucking Burgers, wake up already.

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>>30074932
statues: WOKE

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>>30073672
Don't stop till you get enough

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>>30054079
>>30054180
>>30054378
>>30055825
>>30063492
Shit sorry guys, I picked up a job later that day and have been swamped with paperwork to join a union
I'll attempt to draw today though.

>>30078104
Don't worry about it, also, congrats on the joj.

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>Shilling myself
https://picarto.tv/ploneandlaynevectors
I'm slow af so like, don't expect a show

>>30079119
Bumping for this.

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Have memes

>>30080050
Bretty gewd

>>30081091

>>30073672
>"Where the hell is the red that faggot is looking for!"
>She had remained perched at the cliffedge for at least two hours, and there was still no sign of the relic you sought.
>Squad after squad of Royal Guardsmen marched up and down the mountain, followed by workers hauling artifacts to the ship, but there was still no sign of the Amulet.
>Gilda munched on a fishcake, she knew she'd be waiting long enough to get hungry.
>Before she could finish it, however, she noticed a large wooden box, decorated with some sort of gold trim...
>And a symbol, resembling the 'Red' you were after.
>She dropped her snack, and put all her focus onto the wherabouts of the box.
>Gilda was probably as wet to see the box containing the prize, as you were hard to have seen it yourself.
>The sexually frustrated griffon growled in anticipation, getting ever so close to hitting her mark.
>She didn't give a flying feck about the Amulet itself, she didn't even know what was so special about it.
>The only thing she knew or cared about was that it was the ticket to get into your pants.
>Keeping her eye in the telescope, she became a little bit nervous of the situation she was looking at.
>A small platoon of what she would assume were a crack team of Equestria's finest were standing at attention, looks like they were being briefed by a superior.
>As much as she would've wanted to, she couldn't just dash down there and grab the box, especially not with all the flyers around to intercept her.
>She's going to have to wait for the craft to depart...

>About an hour later, the horns sounded off and the airship was oscar-mike.
>When it had progressed a couple hundred meters forward, several pegasi troopers had ascended to escort it.
>Gilda was damn thankful she remained patient, she would've all those flyers on her ass.
>And that box looked damn heavy, so she probably wouldn't have gotten very far.

>>30073954
Glad someone enjoys my tripe.

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B U M P

>>30082296
>For a little while, the ship maintained flight over open waters.
>There was absolutely no way for Gilda to even get near the damn thing without hailing the attention of those flyers.
>Her best bet was to keep flying above them, keeping out of sight, and looking for opportunities to board the aircraft.

>A couple of hours later, her patience would be rewarded, yet again.
>It was funny seeing her exercising restraint like this, after all you've put her through already.
>To her, it was just another step towards fornicating with you.
>Spying through the telescope, she found a small, secluded town on the seaside, and in that town was an orphanage.
>The plan involved a couple of smoke bombs going off into it.
>The success of the plan heavily depended on two factors on the part of the Royal Guard.
>First thing: whether or not they're going to notice the smoke coming from the building.
>Second: whether or not they gave enough of a fuck to go do something about it.
>It seemed to be worth a shot, so Gilda flew ahead, and worked on the distraction.

>Meanwhile, inside the airship.
>The captain was asleep in his stateroom, until he was rudely awoken by a young officer.
>"Lieutenant, there had better be a damn good reason for waking me".
>"We have a situation".
>Moments later, the captain was on the deck and greeted with a pillar of smoke off the starboard side.
>"Sir, should we assist?"
>"Should we? We MUST assist! Order the helmsman to halt this thing, we're getting our flyers down there now!"
>Less than a minute later, the airship was brought to a full stop, and and the flight escort had broken off to go assist in the rescue operation.
>Looked like a bad fire down there, or so they were led to believe.

>Gilda, hidden in the bush on the ground, finally found the opportunity she was looking for.
>"That'll keep those numbnuts busy".