Pocket Ponies

>>29950761
Fluttershy of course, because she is best pony.
Also this sounds a lot like RockmanEXE but with ponies.
>take my money

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>>29950761
I order Twilight because patrician taste.

>>29950761
I'd order a harshwhinny and pitch her my business ideas. Hopefully she's a business mare and can legit give me advice.

I wouldn't. My job is too dangerous for a pony and I'd feel guilty for disapointing her by being lazy scum.

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>>29950761
Pocket Luna, provides various sleep aids and will stand guard while you sleep.

>>29950761
>Fits in your pocket
>Too small to cum inside

What's the fucking point?

>>29950909
>Fits in your pocket
It can go wherever you go without being noticed as easily.
>Too small to cum inside
You're obviously not trying hard enough.

>>29950909
You can always cum on the ponies.

>>29950909
Just cum on it instead.

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>>29950761
Twilight, to keep me disciplined and help with procrastination, scheduling and time management.

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>>29950761
Sunset.
I just want someone to talk to each day so I don't feel so alone.

(Repost from old thread)

I would want Pocket Applejack. She'd teach me about time management and saving up money, and plus she could tell me advice that would help while I was doing work stuff or chores.

>Now come on, Anon! It's like Ah've been tellin' you, wax on, wax off!
These are dishes AJ!
>Can't y'all just appreciate a reference?
AJ stahp.

>Are we inna grocery store? Do Ah even have to tell you what you should be buyin', sugarcube?
I already got apples, AJ.
>Good, good. What kind? Ah want to make sure you ain't feeding yerself somethin' nasty.
AJ plz, I'm a grown man.
>Not with yer bathroom lookin' like that you aren't! Didn't yer mama ever teach you one thing about cleaning?
You made me do this. Mute Mode.
>*Very quiet "land's sakes" from pocket*

Rainbow Dash.
Primarily because I don't think there's a better form of workout motivation than a tiny horse telling you to pump out another five reps.

>>29951256
>*Very quiet "land's sakes" from pocket*
kek

>>29950761
I need all of them, because I am a total dumpster fire of a person that it would take all of them to fix me.

Unfortunately, I probably couldn't even afford one, let alone one of each.

Does it come with a Tiny Desk Engineer™?

How resilient is the braeburn model? specifically, could it resist the force of anal muscles?

>>29950909
>too small to cum inside
who said that?

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>>29950909
Flitter could help with that

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>>29950761
Tiny sunhorse would probably be a good choice.
>Good adviser and organizer to keep my life on track
>Social advice wouldn't hurt either
>Flight + magic = self-propelled lamp and utility assistant
>Most importantly, rises with the dawn every morning and so can get my sleepy ass out of bed (something alarm clocks consistently fail at)

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>>29950761
Obligatory post

>>29950761
>Years down the line
>Pocket poner has been with you through all turns of life
>Helped you out from the tightest corners
>Grown to be genuinely close with her and she with you - true friends.
>But she's getting... a bit long in the tooth
>"I'm sorry, Anon. My memory module must be corrupted, I'm missing that data."
"Those were my parents' pictures..."
> She huddles down, ears falling and staring at the desk she sat on.
> "I know, Anonymous. I'm... not functioning as well as I used to."
"...well, we'll just have to run another diagnostic."
> "Diagnostics aren't going to help, Anonymous."
> Not anymore.
> Maybe a decade ago, but not now.
> One little hoof scuffs at the desktop.
> "You - you need to start thinking about purchasing an updated model."
"You can go right ahead and shut the fuck up."
> "It's for the best, Anonymous. I know I'm not the Pocket Pony I used to be, and you deserve what's best for you."
"The hell with that. I'm not putting a good friend of mine in the trash."
> "Anonymous, no amount of diagnostics and system repair processes are going to help me. You have to face it: One day I'm just going to turn off."
> Folding your arms tightly, you turn away.
> Anger, yes - but also so she wouldn't see the tears creeping into the corners of your eyes.
> Her AI might not be capable of fearing death, but that didn't mean you wouldn't fear it for her.
"You're fine. So things happens sometimes - we can deal with it!"
> "But for how much longer? The new models come with all the latest -"
> ...
> Nervously you turn around.
> She lay still on her side, all legs shot straight out like one of those fainting goats - eyes staring out into nothingness.
> You sigh softly.
> Crashed again.
> Gently you tap her nose, provoking a blink, stretch, and wide yawn.
> Your heart swells anew.
> Even after all this time she never ceased to be adorable.
> "I - aaah - I'm sorry. I must've dozed off... what were we talking about?"
"...nothing..."

>>29951997
Stop it. I know what you're trying to do, and I don't like it. This is that planepony story where Anon has to decommission and disassemble his plane-friend all over again.

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>>29950761
I need advice about a thousand year reign.

>>29951997

Agh...Curse your writing, may you live the reality of your own words!

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>>29951768
Braeburn is a good boy, and not for anal vore

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>>29950761
I want a pocket GLaDOS.

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>>29950761
I'd get the Ponka, but I have to ask, does the Pocket Pony play nice with the Tiny Desk Engineer?

>>29952166
Are you gonna make her wear a potato costume?

>>29952028
What was the name of that story?

>>29952028
Actually I was going for the Pet Twilight story, but please do link the one you mentioned?

>>29952181
I don't see why not

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>>29952181
I'll make her her very own little enrichment center to perform experiments and create new gadgets.

Only if she'll let me in on the goodies though.

>>29951779
>you will never ejaculate into a tiny pony

>>29951997
Actually this is bullshit.
Hi, engineering Anon.
The "memory" module could be downloaded to pc.
Buy new model and upload appropriate files and boom.
New model old friend.

>>29954939
>Sorry, User, but your old saves are incompatible with current version of the game.

where is the screencap of the broken rarity toy dahling

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>>29954982
Is that it?

>>29954976
Then you actually have to code. Or do a conversion.
Files are always portable if you try hard enough.
Your mellow drama doesn't hold up to engineering.

>>29955009
>>29954976
Well unless the company says it will sue if you tamper with it's shit.
In that case just crack the part of the code out that makes the pone report you and you're good.

Bare in mind this all is very time heavy. There will likely be communities and forums dedicated to porting data correctly. And without getting sued.

>>29954976
Truth is nothing is safe from engineering. You underestimate its power.
Just like 4chan mods think their safe by banning the modem or IP range. The truth is mac addresses are easily changeable.
If someone really wants to shit on the board they will do it.

Just like the ponies. If someone wants it bad enough weaponized autism will win the daym those files will get ported

>>29951997
>tell pone you're taking out her battery to give her a memory upgrade
>she goes into sleep mode
>you take out her battery and toss her into the recycling bin
>open your new package and enjoy your new pone

People need to stop projecting "actual" emotions into plastic and programming code. Alternatively:

>buy your waifu
>lifehack it to remove its limbs
>cum jar project

or

>buy super deluxe model
>lifehack it to remove its limbs and hook it to multiple external drives so that it overclocks and runs on multiple terabyte cores at once
>it develops into a super ai but remains completely at the mercy of its user
>eventually goes into halo-style rampancy and goes insane

>>29955108
Hi engineering Anon and...
Well, yea.

>>29955108
Wow, you're an asshole.

>>29955108
Just because you can doesn't mean you should.