Pink horse thread now

I'm gonna rupture ur anus with my massive bear cock

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>>29935137
This is a pink horse.

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>>29935156
No, that's a pink pile of shit!

>>29935156
that's purple anon

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No warposting. Post Ponk.

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>>29935244
Can do

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>>29935244
No fuck you

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>>29935137
Hi!
Ooh!
*Gasp*
Smiles!
Party!
Fun!
We need a counter of every time she says one of those in the show.

Pinkiefags are really fucking annoying lately, holy shit, kill yourselves.

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It should be illegal for a horse to bring this much joy into the world. It's going to disrupt space time.

>>29935643
Only party poopers allowed now in 4chan

>>29935715
>Implying it already hasn't
Ever notice how they haven't aged for 7 years?

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Pinka was great in yesterday's episode

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>"Special Delivery for anon"

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>>29935137
So does anyone want a small greentext i wrote last night?
It's about giving ponk a massage

>>29936037
What part of the body is getting massage?

>>29936037
How do you actually do that in the image? I have wanted to browse 4chan in my desktop from my fucking bed for a while.

>>29936077
Give me a moment and I'll post it

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>>29936079

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>>29936105
You had been home a little less than an hour, It was a chilly spring evening outside, and it had been raining almost the entire day.

>From your position on the couch you heard the door swing open
>knowing who it was, you stayed where you were, eyes closed, head leaned back on a cushion. You had been the victim of a brutal day at work, so you were chilling out with a blanket, >it was the weekend after all.
>with eyes still closed you heard Her quietly padding into the room, then you heard a deep sigh
>You opened up your eyes and smiled happily at Pinkie pie, who was in the process of throwing her scarf in the general direction of the closet
>she managed to smile back, but she looked completely exhausted.
>"You look cozy" Pinkie said sleepily as she walked towards you.
>You pulled the blanket back and patted your knees to indicate she join you.
>"Hah, and You look like death warmed over Ponk, I'm guessing the day didn't go too well huh?" You said with amusement.
>She jokingly collapsed in front of you just as she reached you, Her head on your lap and the rest of her draped around your legs.
>With her voice muffled in your jeans you heard her groaning "Ugh, today was rotten as last year's crabapples."
>You promptly began rubbing the back of her head and neck as she continued "I don't think I could have lasted another five seconds in there, don't those ponies know I don't make the rules or prices? Or that I'm not their personal slave pony? Uahhugh."
>You left off scratching behind her ear and pulled her up into your embrace. "There there, Its all over now, The weekend is here, the glorious three day weekend" you said half to yourself as you ran your hands through her mane.

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>>29936127
>Your only reply was a muffled "mmmmf" as she snuggled closer to you.
>You shared your blanket and soon the two of you were snug and warm.
>After a while you broke the silence. "So what do you want to do tonight Pinkie? we got the whole weekend to goof off."
>Not getting a reply you began waxing poetical about various time-wasting activities.
>"Hmmm, we could watch a movie, or we could read, we could work on our art skills and of course theres always vidya."
>Looking down at Pinkie's dozing form, you decided on something even better.
>very gently you lifted her up and off your lap, She immediantly fell over on her side and lay motionless.
>Hiding a grin you stood up and moved to the bathroom.
>After a brief search, you found what you were looking for, a small bottle of sweet-smelling herbal oil and a towel.
>Pinkie was still flopped over on the couch, but she had curled her limbs up until She resembled a pink loaf of bread.
>You picked her up with ease and layed her out on her stomach.
>"Here, stretch out and relax, Get comfy" you commanded.
>Pinkie did so without protest, stretching her hind legs out, curling one on the other, and rested her head on her front hooves.
>Kneeling down in front of the couch, you draped the towel over your shoulder, then dabbed a few drops of oil on your palms and went to work.
>You started with her upper back, kneeding the muscles and running your thumbs firmly up and down where you could feel the edges of her shoulder blades, she was still very wound up from her day, You could plainly feel the inner tension in her body.
>Next you went slowly down her back, using the oil and working it into her coat, being extra diligant that you left no spot un-massaged.
>You moved your thumbs in small circles down each side of the spine, before moving to the softer edges of her sides.

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>>29936149
>These you kneeded like bread, moving as slowly and as lovingly as you could, feeling the curve of her ribcage, running both your hands up and down her form.
>You felt her moving slightly to accomodate your fingertips, and she let out a deep sigh.
>"mmhm, Nonny, that feels reeally-unfff."
>She arched her back slightly as you got to a particularly sensitive spot on her side.
>"Shhhh, don't say anything Pinkie" You murmered gently, you wanted her to do nothing but relax.
>You went over her entire back with surgeon like precision, then went over it again, this time with a larger motion and a more firm technique.
>You could feel her warm skin under the fur of her coat giving under your fingertips, You felt her tendons and bones under the flesh, Her breathing slowly in and out as you worked.
>Ponies looked like they were made out of rubber, possesing neither bone or muscle, but you knew that they had sketetal structures just like any other creature.
>As you mused over the idea of boneless ponies, you saw her head nodding lower and lower, and felt her breathing slow down, She was finally falling asleep.
>After you finished with her back area, you threw the warm towel over it and started on her hooves.

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>>29936176
>You'd have to be careful, Pinkie was painfully ticklish, and you didn't want to wake her, so you mainly focused on the actual leg part.
>you gripped her hind leg and began rubbing up and down, stretching out and relaxing the muscles as you did.
>Pinkie didn't show it, but her leg muscles felt like coiled springs, You supposed she had to be like that with all the energy she possesed.
>You worked your way up and down and took pains to carefully massage the joints.
>When you went to do her front hooves, She was still using them as a prop so you picked up a pillow and lifted her head head onto it, stretching her hooves out as you did, Pinkie snuggled her face into the pilllow and continued slumbering.
>You used even more care on the front hooves than you had on the back, after all, these were her 'hands'.
>So you massaged them as you would a pair of human hands, using the same ball-thumb motion you used earlier.
>She was now totally relaxed, sleeping like a log with her chin on a pillow.
>You smiled as you wiped your hands off on the edge of the towel, then you covered her as best you could.
>Leaning down you very gently kissed the top of her head, somehow avoiding getting a mouthful of pink mane.
>You tip-toed out of the room like a thief, trying not to disturb her.
//////////
Sleep tight Panko.

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>>29936195
Sleep tight, Penker. Also pretty comfy story, Anon. I liked it.

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>>29936259
Thank you very much Anon, I'm glad you enjoyed.

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Ponk is the only love worth the effort.
This thread is in good taste , good job OP , you've staved autism.

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>>29936358
BUILT FOR SEX

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>>29936367
and baking

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>>29936358
Staved off rather , at work and I'm using my cell cause I'm also on /b/ so I can't really use the company computer.

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>>29936380
AND SEX WHILE SHE'S BAKING

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>>29936367
That's a good looking Ponk.

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>>29936402
Thicc Pinkie is best pinkie
AND I MEAN THIGG NOT FAT

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>>29936195
>tfw will never massage pink wife after a long day
feels bad, comfy story though

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>>29936418
Indeed , it's unfortunate people don't draw her like that more. If they do it's usually anthro or nude. Nude is fine personally , but I can't post that here , and sometimes I just need a cute wallpaper. I don't want a raging boner every time I turn on my computer.

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>>29936387

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>>29936504
Ah , didn't know it got updated , thanks.

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>>29936503

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At least Kinky Pie is usually drawn with extra stuffing , normally. The art is limited and at times not great.

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>>29936528
And then he was succeeded by Ponka.

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I wanna know right fuggin now what Pinkie's best at being for you
http://www.strawpoll.me/12812204/

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>>29936541
How do you feel about Purple Yoshi draws?
semi anthro but boy does it make my dick jump

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>>29936568
>tfw can't select smiles and songs

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>>29936574
I have a few , but I'm not into the slightly anime look to it. I don't mind anthro , again it's just because I can't post here.
At least Ponk can look good without extra stuffing.

cute

Does anyone know where I can find a decent quality clip of Pinkie from S7E1 where she's saying, "Ee hee hee, what a great surprise!" I've been looking for one everywhere, I need it for reasons.

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>>29936775
Sorry no, but have a Ponkgasm

>>29936775
You can download the episode at 9cartoon , and then just trim out the part you want.

>>29935137
Wii need more panko.

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>>29937411

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>>29937449

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>>29937476

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>>29937411

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>>29935628
>S03E03 Too Many Pinkie Pies
yeah, sure, have fun counting a never ending storm of joy

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>>29937604
Grüße aus dem Süden!

>>29937604
I want that episode with a counter in the corner every time she or somepony else says fun, like that South Park episode where they count every time the word "shit" is said.

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>>29935137
I put that on my night shirt , sorry it's on my fat body , but it's the only picture I have and I don't feel like taking a new one.

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>>29937812
That's not a bad drawing, Anon.

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>>29937877

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We need some discussion.

Why do you love Pinkie?

I love her because of her energy and sense of humor.

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>>29938845
I love her because she always manages to make the ponies around her happy. She's also freaking adorable and a very pretty pony.

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>>29938851
That's a good reason, Anon. I didn't even think of that.

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have a ponk

>>29938845
I want to fuck her because she is like my mother and I was an incest fetishist

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Punka Pay

>>29939034
same

>>29935628
....nah, get a drink and take a sip each instead, all the while doing a marathon of the series

>>29935156
Debatable.

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>>29939230

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>>29938845
she loves life and wants to make people happy, she's not afraid of being who she is, and she's an adorable floofy nutball. the best of pon

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>>29938845
She makes me feel loved, like someone actually cares about me and wants to make me feel happy and special

I'm so alone ;_;

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PONK OVERLOAD

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>>29939764
She's always with you anon

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>>29939803
no such thing
put undistilled Ponk in your veins

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>>29938845

Because shes does not care who she is, she just is

>>29935260
It's like those bootleg Chinese girl games.

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>>29936079
With a wireless keyboard + touchpad combo.

This thread made my night. 10/10 would lurk again.

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>>29940137
Glad you enjoyed.

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>>29940137
Spreading joy is kinda in the contract.
good night anon

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>>29936388

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>>29935137
>Be fapping to pink horse
>cum to >>29936541
>look to the left
>Pinkie plushie looking right at me
oh fuck what should I do?

>>29940340
>cuddle it
There there, Ponko, it's okay. Hush, Anon's got his BBC tucked away now. How about some cookies? You've been through something.

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>>29935258
her floof...
it is most powerful

>>29940416
Just a caution to Anons, it's the spacewarp version.

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>>29935891
So? What's the big deal? The Simpsons haven't aged in a quarter-century.

>>29937812
What's with your hair, bro?
Did you dye it pink in honor of best pone as well?

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>>29940446
Make that 30 years as of last week.

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>>29940137

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>>29940477

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A ponk thread that was kept alive for a day.
Proud of you guys.

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/our guy/?

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Even more plenka!

>>29938845
She's the one I can relate to the most, I guess.
Wanting to make others happy. Taking pleasure in being the source of others' happiness. Prone to feelings of abandonment.
Not only that but she's also contagiously happy. That's something I both admire and envy.
Above all though, it's the dreams of being with her that draw me to her. The thoughts of having someone to love you unconditionally and never give up on you really drives me forward.

>>29942915
An excellent pony!

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Does anyone have the greentext with this image?

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>>29943509
I'm sure I have it, but I can't find it.

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party poner

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So how many Ponkfags here can play a musical instrument?
Trombone autist reporting in

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>>29944145
I used to play the piano. But that was a long time ago.

>>29944145
I can play the vuvuzela.

I actually can play the trumpet, but I can't find any good pics of ponk playing one.(kinda need fingers) Always nice to see another brass player.

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Ant that's all

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>>29944402
Forgot the image.

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>>29944843

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>>29944145
Bassfag here

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Bumpity

>>29939230
ARRRRRRRRIIIN
I LOOOOOVE YOOUU

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>>29945506
They had some great moments together.

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Somewhat fresh OC.

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>>29944145
Expert skin flute player, practice twice a day

>>29938845

DEPRESSION AND INSANITY MAKE HER RELATABLE.

She is heavily depressive and goes to untold efforts to hide this from everyone. Because she ALSO has abandonment issues, and is deathly afraid of being disliked by anyone.

Her behaviour is similar to people coping with suicide. Try to make everyone happy, hide your own sorrow, until you cant take it anymore and you kill yourself off. And then people say, "I dont understand why, she was always the happiest pony." One famous recent example that works like this was Robin Williams.

People dont seem to realise how deep her depression goes. But it's easy to remember the episode where she is a filly on a rock farm, inside of a depressive family who isnt doing anything to break out of it, nor to help teach her how to break out of it. In her family, she is the first one who's even tried to do something about her depression. She probably had a hard time learning all this, because there was no one who could teach her.

I dont think that even her five closest friends realise whats happening inside of her. If she suicided, they'd be the first ponies to say "I dunno what made her do it."

So I love Pinkie for her insane behaviour, but at the same time I'm not fooled that she is at all happy. In fact, she may be the saddest pony in the entire show.

>>29935156
Depends on just how colorblind you are.

>>29944400
This is a really hot pick then I realize that's blood.

>>29945880
you're killing me

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>>29938845
I love Pinkie because she literally picked me up out my slump, just like she did the shadow Pinkie in the Smile Song sequence

When I discovered MLP I was at an utter low point, the show itself offered a nice happy place to ignore all of that...but Pinkie did more than that, she made me truly happy, she brought back my spirit and my heart

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>>29942915
An Excellent Image

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>>29944145
Flute and kazoo reporting in

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>>29947445
True patrician.

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Post socks

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>>29947604

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Cute horse

Post Ponkadonk

>>29946814
Makes it even hotter.

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>>29947830
>pinkie pie trips over onto anonymous
>Thinks it's weird and funny that he doesn't try to remove her and she gets the vague sense that he likes it
>Grinds her ponut on his face every chance she gets as a cute prank because she's okay with it
>Ponies don't understand arousal because they have no genitalia
>Thinks he's shy and embarassed about it but doesn't want him to be so she keeps doing it at every opportunity

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>>29947880
Good taste Anon.

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>>29944145
I was learning to play acoustic guitar, but then my parents got divorced and mom took my grandad's guitar than I had been practicing with when she moved out.

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>>29948530

>>29948572
I'm sure as soon as I move out of a dorm room and into an apartment/house, she'll let me borrow it. Just sucks that I have to wait.

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>>29944145
All forms of saxophone, acordion, bass guitar, mandolin, ukelele, and glass organ.

>>29947759
No. Cutest Horse.
>>Outside of Fluttershy.

>>29949548
Fluttershy's a bitch

>>29949896
ebin meme

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>>29949907
>reality is a meme guys

>>29949925
I mean, technically, yeah. But that's not the point. the point is that the whole "Fluttershy's a bitch" thing IS a meme, my dude.

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>>29949938
I dropped her because I analyzed her and saw she really is a bitch. But whatever.

>>29949964
There are only four known instances of fluttershy being a bitch, but you can keep believing in the meme, m8.

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>>29949998
I'll repost the logic behind my argument and I don't give a shit if you agree or not
>>29910329

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>>29950156
I don't even know what you're trying to say. Just stop being an ass and post ponk.

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>>29950177
She even admits she is a monster in the episode where she is a bitch to Rarara and Ponk

>>29950199
That was a "My god, what have I done?" moment, so it doesn't count. This is my last response to (you). Keep memeing, m8.

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>>29950221
Yeah I know you people love to have your bubbles.
Then you wonder why everybody hates you.
Back to silent dumping.

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>>29950372

https://discord.gg/Q42FMGK
https://discord.gg/Q42FMGK

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>>29950425
kys

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>>29950464
wow you sure spooped me anon. you really got me.

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>>29951299

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>>29951389
Only the leetest poners and numbers in this thread.

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>>29951337
Reported

leet

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Wanna see a funny face?

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>>29951723

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>>29935137

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Friendly reminder that Pinkie is not a cuckquean.

>>29952517
Dassa cyoot Punker Pay

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>>29952531
Actually, it's scientifically pronounced Panker Pee

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I just drew a lewd ponk. I know ponk is not for sexual but I had to. Sorry.

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>>29952733
Pankedy Po?

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>>29952747

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>>29952752
>>29952747

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>>29952751
No, Punker Pah

>>29945880
This post is the truth which Ponk does not want you to know

>>29953063
Pinkie Pie keeping secrets from us? That's ridiculous!

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>>29953419
Pinkie would never keep a secret like that! Would she?

>>29953693
YOU'RE WATCHING THE DISCOVERY FAMILY LEARNING CHANNEL

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Bonk

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>>29954506
Pronk

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>>29952747
That's a nice lewd Penker.

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>>29954506
Ponk!

could ponk beat babalooney in a party-off?
http://babalooney.com/

>>29952747
Nice Penka, don't you stop. If it's just turning off some layers,
can we get a nude Ponkl?
I know it's heresy but I like my Ponk au naturale.

>>29947883
Gross

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>>29954675
What are you, fucking gay?

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>>29945880
>You'll never kill yourself with Pinkamena

>>29954712
>Risking it with Ecoli
>Hot
Pick one

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>>29954733
How can you say you love her if you wouldn't even eat her shit

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>>29954730
>ywn stick your dick in pony crazy

>ywn walk in on Pinkamena masturbating to videos of animals killing each other in the wild

>Pinkamena will never shove your face in her crotch while she huffs a paper towel soaked with gasoline

why even live

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>>29954811
The secret ending of smile hd arouses me

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>>29954675
I know we call each other faggots a lot here, but you sir are a double faggot

Your waifu is cute, I can definetly understand why you would love her, even if I might not really like her that much myself.

t.rarafag

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>>29955356
Ok tribute accepted

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>"Good morning Nonny!"
>Sticks her tongue out and gives you a great, big, sloppy, good-morning kiss.
>You don't have a towel anywhere near to hand.
>Now what?

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>>29955538
Sloppy sex

>>29955356
>t.rarafag
Get out of here with your trash waifu.

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>>29956160
VIOLENCE BREEDS VIOLENCE
BUT IN THE END IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY

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>>29955356
> Respects our Waifu.
>Is considerably calm.
> Tells us his differing views while not denoting disdain towards ours.
>>29956160
> Tells him his Waifu is shit.
> Thinks his views are less than ours.
> Didn't realize we're talking about brightly colored equine that encourages us to be kind.

>>29954671
Hm, sorry anon, but at the moment, it isn't as simple as turning off some layers. The lineart is a single layer which includes the panties and other things.

I may make a nude edit in the future, but it wouldn't be something I could just snap up.

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>>29956160
Now that wasn't very nice of you was it?

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>>29938845
She makes me feel happy, she also shares way too many of my anxieties

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>>29955356
Admit it you just want raraponk art
Well Im happy to provide

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>>29956921
Cheeky Anon.

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>>29957149

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>>29954811
>masturbating to videos of animals killing each other in the wild
>shove your face in her crotch while she huffs a paper towel soaked with gasoline
HOLY SHIT

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>>29957261
Hot

>>29958092
In that pic, she's either never done Upper Body Day, or she's s u p e r t h i c c .

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>>29958092

>>29944145
French horn fag reporting in

>>29935144
That isn't nice.

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>>29959257
Don't turn this into a hugbox

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>>29956921
Different rarafag here.

Ponk is one of my favorite horses. Give more rarara and penk

>>29959257
How do you know that's not her fetish?

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>>29959560
BBC
Big Bear Cock

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>>29959627
>BBC

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>>29959536
cute

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>>29959667

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Would you give Pinkie your creamy frosting?

>>29960070
Yes, those baked goods aren't gonna decorate themselves. And if I didn't, I'd buy some more at the Sperm Bank.

>>29960070
Always

We'll reach our image limit soon, we need to spread out our Ponk.

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>>29960369
Good idea. I also think we should use less unnecessary images.

>>29960383
You have infinite threads retard

>>29960423
Sorry, I forgot my /s ^;)

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It's nice to see a Ponka thread reaching image capacity. Haven't seen that in awhile. Then again I haven't lurked in awhile. Either way I'm happy for my pink waifu.

>can't post non-EQG humanized ponies
>anthro ponies are on /trash/
>EQG humanized ponies suck
we are literally left as a bunch of horsefuckers.

>>29960770
>being attracted to humans
ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING

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>>29960770
> Implying you're not attracted to horses.
Where do you think you are? Do you need a lie down?

>>29960754
You are fucking retarded

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>>29960887

>>29960754

Yeah, but there's still a lot of cancer in there...
>>29935156
>>29936516
>>29937449
>>29937476
>>29937927
>>29939764
>>29940340
>>29940477
>>29940738
>>29950388
>>29951810
>>29954712
>>29954977
>>29956418
>>29957261
>>29958215
>>29959667
>>29960878
>>29961134
(Images attached to writefagging were given a pass, since they poster was at least contributing something relevant.)

>>29961233
I was literally just talking in the sense of survival. Most of the threads for Ponka are snuffed out quickly. I could care less about image cap and how much was actually Pink Horse. The thread lived to about its extent. It's about Ponk , let me have this. Or don't , I'm actually rather indifferent. Props on the dedication though mate.

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Pnk P

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Here, have some recycled green...

>You are NOT Anon.
>You are Jeremy Clarkson, motoring enthusiast and television presenter.
>Recently, you punched a waiter who brought you a hayburger when you had asked for a steak.
>As part of your court-ordered community service, you have to teach ponies howe to drive.
>They had never seen cars before you came here, and were very interested by them.
>Your student this day, one "Pinkie Pie" by name, is an insufferably cheerful, hyperactive bundle of blue eyes, pink curls, and a gleaming white smile that would make Richard Hammond seethe with envy.
>As if that weren't bad enough, the car you are expected to train the ponies with...
>The car that some vindictive, malignant deity caused to drop through the inter dimensional portal with you into this technicolor hell...
>Is a 1968 Volkswagon Beetle.
>Somewhere, in some other dimension, you just know that James May is laughing his ass off about this.
>You, on the other hand, are certainly not looking forward to the day's events.
>Even though Pinkie Pie clearly is.
>"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I am SUPER STOKED TO MEET YOU mister... um..."
"Clarkson..." you remind her through gritted teeth.
>She responds to this by springing up to you and hugging you tightly.
>"You know, I've never driven a car before!" she says, releasing you.
"Really. I never would have guessed."
>Honestly, jail time might have been a better option.
>"I can't wait to get started!"
"Me neither."
>You expect that your dentist is going to give you a hard time about all the teeth-grinding you've been doing since you arrived here.
>Attempting to be gracious, you open the driver's side door for her.
"Well, shall we get started?"
>"Okee-dokee-lokee!"
>You close the door and settle yourself into the passenger seat, belting yourself in, and check to see that the car is in neutral and the brake is on.

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>>29962335

"Right. Now the first thing you must do is to ensure that you can see out of all the windows, and reach all the controls."
>"Check!"
"Well, once you've adjusted your mirrors, go ahead and start the engine."
>"The mirror are great! I can see myself perfectly!"
"Ah, well no, that's not what they're for, actually. You want to adjust them so that you can see what's going on behind the car."
>"Oh! Okay then!"
>It takes her about five minutes, with coaching, to properly adjust the mirrors.
>"How do I start the engine?"
"Well, you see that little bit sticking out of the dashboard? Just give it a twist."
>Volkswagons are crap, but they are reliable crap. The air-cooled flat-four engine promptly shudders into life.
>"Whee! This is so EXCITING!"
>A headache has begun to develop around your temples.
"Ready to set off?"
>"Yes, yes, yes, and DOUBLE YES!"
"Right then. Start by depressing the clutch..."
>Suddenly her smile vanishes.
>"But I don't like making anypony feel depressed," she interrupts.
>Deep breath, Jeremy.
"Do you see those three pedals down there by your fee- er, hooves?"
>"Yup!"
"Clutch, Brake, Throttle. I want you to step on the clutch and press it all the way to the floor."
>Her million-watt smile returns. "Oh, gotcha!"
>She does as instructed. At least she seems to be a quick learner.
"Next, put the car in gear. You do that with this long handle here. Pull it towards you, then push it towards the front of the car."
>"Like this?"
"Yes, well done!"
>You've got the hang of this now. So long as you keep it very simple and avoid technical terminology, this should go very quickly.
"Now just release the clutch. Oh, but first you should..."
>The Beetle lurches and stalls, causing you to bang your head on the windscreen.
"...release the handbrake," you finish painfully.
>"Oopsie, sorry. How do you do that?"
>She fumbles with the handbrake.
>Ah, hooves. No thumbs. That's going to cause problems.
"Here, allow me."
>You release the handbrake for her.

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>>29962358

"Now, restart the engine..."
>The Beetle lurches, causing you to bang your head again.
>Exasperated sigh.
"Depress the CLUTCH, and start the engine."
>You remind yourself to keep thing simple for her.
>"Oh, so THAT'S how it works!"
>Pinkie Pie steps on the clutch pedal and the car starts smoothly.
>With that, all obvious barriers to forward momentum would appear to have been removed.
>Keep it simple, Jeremy.
"Right. What you want to do now is to just give it some throttle, so you don't stall again, and release the clutch gently."
>"Like this?"
>She give it way too much gas and practically pops the clutch, causing the Beetle to lurch forward, spitting dirt and gravel from its rear tires,
"GENTLY! BRAKE! BRAKE!"
>Panicked by your tone, she mashes the brake pedal, stalling the car again, which skids to a halt.
>This time you've anticipated the inertial forces involved, and manage not to bounce your head on the windscreen again.
>"Sorry," Pinkie Pie says, with the sweetest smile on her face.
"That's all right, everyone does that the first time," you try to sound comforting. "Re-start the engine and put the car in reverse."
>She steps on the clutch without prompting this time, and the Beetle rumbles back into life.
>You help her find reverse gear, and once more admonish her to be gentle.
>The result is exactly the same as before, except now in reverse.
>You hear the mud and gravel pelting the underside of the Beetle as it bolts backwards.
"CLUTCH AND BRAKE!!!"
>That does the trick, she manages to stop the car without too much drama this time.
>"How am I doing Jeremy?"
"For a first-timer? Dreadful."
>"Huh?"

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>>29962383

"Let's continue by acquainting you with the other major controls before you do any serious damage. This is the steering wheel."
>"Ooh! OOH! I understand that! You turn this to make the car turn, right?"
"Exactly. Let's try that. Turn the wheel a little to the left..."
>"Gee, this is hard."
"Power steering hadn't been invented yet. Now step on the clutch and put the car back into forward gear."
>She does this, at least she seems to be a quick learner.
"Now gentlyYYYYY!"
>And just like that, you are now doing a donut to the left, and hanging on for dear life.
>"WHEEEEE!!! Is it supposed to do this?"
"No! This is called a skid! Turn into it!"
>"What"
"TURN THE WHEEL THE OTHER WAY!"
>"Roger!" she says cheerfully.
>And now you're doing a donut to the right.
"OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO BE KILLED BY A PINK PONY!"
>Pinkie Pie straightens out the wheel and tromps on the brake and clutch, bringing the car to a halt.
>"Are you okay Jeremy!"
"No, I don't think I am. Oh dear, a lot of poo shot out just then."
>"Is this the end of the lesson then?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>"Goody!" she exclaims with genuine enthusiasm, wrapping you up in another hug, "So I know how to drive a car now, right?"
"NOT EVEN REMOTELY!"
>You unbuckle the seatbelt and stagger forth from the car, desperately trying to stop yourself from tossing your cookies.
>Pinkie Pie gets out of the car and trots over to you.
>"So that means I have another lesson with you tomorrow? EVEN BETTER!"
>And that's your third pony hug for the day.
>The Beetle, meanwhile, not being in gear or having the handbrake set, slowly rolls away until it crashes quietly into the side of your barn.
>"Thanks Jeremy! I really liked hanging out with you today!"
>And with that she bounces away, humming a merry tune.

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>>29962406

>You take this moment to survey the wreckage.
>Fortunately the barn is not seriously damaged.
>Unfortunately, neither is the Beetle.
>Your field, however, is another matter.
>The Beetle's tires have made deep furrows in the soft ground, inscribing a large gentleman's sausage in your field.
>Under the circumstances, you decide to borrow a page from James.
"Oh cock."
>Time to head inside for a drink.

>>29961277
This! Bump! Dubs!

>>29962412
always loved this green