Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1120

2GET

>>29924865
Tripfags in Equestra

Anyone done a lazy, Naga Anon?

>>29925272
Naganonymous?

I'll allow it.

>>29925272
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqB3KeiBLuw

Somehow, a lazy as fuck Naga, too apathetic to be evil, would be hilarious, I think.

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>it's a lyra becomes addicted to fellating anon episode

>>29925613
Those are my favorites.

>>29925613
Not her fault Anon covers his dick in peanut butter every morning.

>>29926357
Smooth or crunchy?

>>29927360
Smooth! Jesus Christ, would you want her to bite?

>>29927429
Maybe

>>29924865
Ponies calling Anon out on his bullshit?
Yes please.

What's the source of these comics?

>>29927755
Check the filename. It's by the artist "ShoutingIsFun"

>>29924865
Follow up comic where Anon says 'it's because I have feelings for you and you shacked up with Discord anyway!' when?

>>29928884
Dear Celestia...

>>29924865
But Pocky is good. Anon confirmed for having shit tastes

>>29928884
T H I C C

H

I

C

C

>>29928884
WRITE!!!

>>29929243
Who, me? Nah. Don't got time for that.

>>29929286
yu yu yu yu

>>29929604
No no no no no
Superman no is here.

>>29925860
Any recommended lyra/anon stuff? asking for myself

>>29928983
It's low quality chocolate on a thin biscuit, you and FlutterMutter have shit taste.

>>29930289
Not mine

>>29930028
Who the fuck is super man?

>>29930746
Ask Frederick Nietzsche.

>>29924865
Add this to the bin pls
https://pastebin.com/9hJCEjPJ

>>29931038
Which bin? If it's completed then you need to fill out more than that.

>>29924865
This picture really gropes my grandmas; she was so happy to share something that she loved with him, and he responds with a personal insult. I know that this guy drew a bunch of pony comics, maybe there's some context I'm missing here.

>>29931029
>Frederick Nietzsche
Thus Spoke Zarathustra?

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>>29931071
It's just how the Anonymous in his comics are. A dickish twat.

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>>29931071
>>29931086
He's not completely bad.
I really like his Fluttershy ones.

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>>29931086
>"GOD'S SAKE ANON JUST FUCK HER PUSSY"
>"Holy shit a talking clone!"

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>>29931106
>anon A hate Anon
>somehow anon A teleport next to anon
>Anon B hate Anon A

>>29931047
k I'll try again

AiE
Academic purpose
by Betanon at https://pastebin.com/u/Betanon
Tags: Clop Romance Comedy (maybe)
https://pastebin.com/9hJCEjPJ

>>29931144
Thank anon.

>>29931133
Moar

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>>29925613
>Witness

>>29931116
It'd be cool if that guy ended up here one day.

>>29931099
Now I want to find random talking ponies on the couch when I come home from work. D:

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>>29932677
>D:

>>29932829
http://rcatholic-l.freeservers.com/pooh.html

>>29930388
Well I'm sorry not everything can be Sarris candy, but it's still good

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>>29931071
I'm pretty sure his Fluttershy is borderline Flutterrape.

>>29931099
That one is pretty cute.

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HONK.

Familia 9


>”Lulu, wake up.”
>You groan and pull your pillow over your head.
“Nuuuhhhh…”
>Your sister nudges you with her snow once again and makes her hair fall in your face. It always smelled like wildflowers no matter how often she insisted it didn’t.
>”Lulu we need you! Get up!”
>You seeth for a moment under the blankets, she never understoo-
>Father wouldn’t like you acting like that, so you rise up to a seated position with your eyes barely cracked open and mane all mussed up. Even through your dreariness, you can make out Discord and Celestia standing next to your bed.
“What. Time is it.”
>”Almost lunch.” Your brother says.
>Almost-
>You take a deep breath and calm yourself.
“Both of you are well aware that I do not awaken until after noon at the earliest. Please come back later.”
>In the recent years you’d found it impossible to go to sleep while the moon hung in the sky, only finding the doziness overtake you once the sun began to rise. Father had worked himself ragged for a day figuring out how to re-arrange your schedule and now you ate “breakfast” with your family and then went to bed.
>Your head is almost back on your pillow before Discord snaps his fingers and turns it into a flopping fish. You only need a second touching its slimy scales before you leap in surprise from the bed and flutter in the air shrieking.
“D-DISCORD!”
>”Awake now?” he says with a smirk.
“DO NOT TEST ME, CHIMERA! BROTHER OR NO YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH AND I-!”
>”Lu’ would you settle down and listen to what Pinky here has to say!?”
>You glance over to your sister who is prancing back and forth like she needs to relieve herself and biting her tongue.
“Fine.”
>”WE’REGOINGTOGETDADDYASPECIALSOMEPONY!” she blurts out.
>You don’t say anything, but you hope your expression says it all.

>>29933550
>You land next to them, suddenly very awake as Discord snaps your fish back to a pillow.
“Pardon me, sister, but I believe I heard you say something incredibly foolish.”
>Celestia shakes her head and bites her lower lip. “You must have misheard, because we’re going to get daddy a special somepony!”
>You point with your hoof.
“No, see, that is the incredibly foolish thing I heard.”
>Celestia’s smile quickly turns to a pout. “Lulu!...Always so cynical!”
“Is all this because you have been making goo goo eyes at Prince Aspen lately?”
>Discord smirks and glances down at Celestia. “You know I’d been wondering the same thing…”
>Your sister’s coat turns from alabaster to red and she scrapes her hoof on the ground. “B-both of you shut up!”
>You and Discord hold your forelimbs to your mouths and laugh.
>Celestia composes herself and takes a step towards you. “Lulu, I am serious! How many years have we lived here with daddy?”
>You recount the time in your head, the seemingly endless parade of days under his supervision.
“…Many.”
>”And in all that time have you known daddy to even ONCE have met someone special?”
>You start to get what she was putting down.
“I have not…”

>>29933555
>”Us neither…” Celestia said, looking downtrodden with Discord, though he’d try and hide it.
>”Like in his stories, love is one of the most important things in the whole universe! If daddy can’t or won’t find it on his own, we’ll just have to help him!”
“How utterly egotistical.”
>”Oh you know what she means. I remember pops’ stories too. If love weren’t so important, that Loaf of Meat guy wouldn’t do anything for it.”
>”Except that one thing.” Celestia corrected.
>”Yeah, except that.”
>You rub your snout. You knew they weren’t going to let you sleep until you helped them, and your rest had already been broken…
“You had a plan, I presume?”
>Celestia nods enthusiastically. “You remember those small tribes of little ponies daddy sometimes takes us to observe??”
>You nod.
>”Aaaaand do you remember the one from the unicorn tribe who wears the hood?”
>You think for a minute. “Sssssomething the Clever?”
>Celestia locks her sparkling eyes with yours and her smile just gets wider.

>>29933557
>Father let the three of you out to play under the guise you were going to play with Aspen and his friends. Little did he know that you had made a detour to a rocky valley just outside of the area the tribe of horned little ponies had settled in.
>It was odd to you that they only had one or the other, horns or wings, but you didn’t give it thought right now.
>Instead you were just bopping your hooves on the ground you lay on and watching the dirt cloud up in the air.
“Tia, this is dull as a post.”
>”Quiet Lulu, they’ll hear us!”
>You push yourself to your hooves and annoyedly blow your mane from your face.
“Who is going to hear us. THE EMPTY VALLEY?!”
>This time both Discord and Celestia turn and shush you.
“UHG.”
>You roll over onto your back and look at the sky. It was daytime, you could be sleeping now.
“You two haven’t even told me your plan.”
>Discord and Celestia both look each other in the eye and grin wildly.
>”Well, Discord thought of it.” Celestia says.
>”See, we invited the old man and Clover to this spot.” He says.
>”But we pretended we were the other one in the letter!”
>”And so when they get here…”
>”They’ll find THAT!” Celestia says, pointing to the valley floor past the rock you hid behind.
>You take a peek.
“…They’ll find some sandwiches, still water, and a blanket?”
>”It’s called a picnic, Luna, and they’ll find it and fall in love!” Celestia says.
>You cock an eyebrow and look up at her.
>You didn’t understand, she was supposed to be smart.

>>29933561
“Tia neither of those two things are remotely related.”
>Celestia scoffs. “Don’t ask me! It was Discord’s idea!”
>You turn your head to your brother.
“Well?”
>”Well what?” he answers.
“Where did you come up with this idea?”
>”I read it in a trashy romance novel once. Or, I will. In a thousand years. It’s too complicated for you, Lulu.”
>Oh.
>Great.
>Celestia gasps and points to the picnic. “They’re here!”
>Despite your protests, you still climb to your hooves and peer over the rock. From one side of the valley you see father walk past the rocks with his old weathered walking stick in hand, while from the other side approached a small off-green pony with a rich emerald mane shrouded in a dusty old cloak.
>Celestia shushes the both of you three times each. “Shush shush shush! We need this to go off flawlessly!”
“Okay! Settle down…”
>Father and Clover were too far away for you to hear what they were saying to one another, but it was easy enough to watch them.
>Celestia sighs wistfully. “This is the part where she falls into his arms and they declare their undying love for one another…”
“…I believe this is the part where they look this way, sister.”
>”Give them a moment, Lulu. All will be well.”
“Sister I think they see us.”
>”See us watching their love unfold!”
“Celestia, they’re walking over here now.”
>Father looked confused, Clover just looked annoyed.
>”Discord, what did the book say we should do now?”
>Celestia turns around after she doesn’t get an answer. “Discord?”
>You glance over where Discord was standing and see the tiny speck of him on the horizon hightailing it out of there.
“OH THAT ROTTEN-“

>>29933566
>”It’s not that we’re mad at you per say, girls…” father began, glancing awkwardly at Clover the Clever. “But…matters of the heart are usually best left to the people involved.”
>”Especially important that they KNOW one another first.” Clover says.
>Celestia sits next to you, both of you turning your faces to the ground, and sighs.
>You guess apologizing will have to fall to you, like always.
“We are very sorry for what we did, Miss Clover. We were…mislead.”
>Celestia turns to look at you. “But Luna! Discord said that in the book he reads-“
>”Celestia, what is the one thing I keep telling you about Discord?” father says.
>Sister sighs and closes her eyes again in shame. “That Discord lies…”
>”Mhm…”
>Father holds Discord up by his tail, retrieved by a magical spell quickly performed by Clover after you’d told him that your brother had run away. The Draconequus nods. “He’s right you know, about everything.”
>Discord sits still for a moment.
>”Except that.”
>”…And that.”
>”And that.”
>”And tha-“
>Father clamps Discords mouth shut quickly. “Do not do that.”

>>29933570
>Discord gives a thumbs up.
>Clover the Clever gets closer to you and Celestia and seems to be inspecting you.
>”I’m dreadfully sorry about this, Ms. Clover. I try to teach my children to be respectful, but we’re all unused to neighbors.”
>”There was no harm done…” the hooded pony says as she looks the two of you over.
“…What?”
>”May we help you, Miss Clover?” Celestia says.
>She backs off, but continues to watch you. “Horns -and- wings…curious.” With that she trots back around you and past father, casting a glance back. “Good day to you and your…interesting brood, Anonymous.”
>”And you, Mrs. Clover.” He responds.
>Once she’s out of sight, father looks down at you with his textbook disappointed face. “Come along, you three. Let’s get you home and think of an appropriate consequence.”
“I would like it noted that I thought this was a horrible idea from the start.”
>Father was liable to go easy on you if you made things clear to him!
>”Yeah well I want it noted that you’re a butt.” Discord says.
>Father was less likely to go easy on you after you tried to thwack Discord with a stick for being so cowardly.

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>>29933575
Pastebin updated
https://pastebin.com/u/Mandroid
For 8th: https://pastebin.com/EsYNxA2Q
Thoughts?

I liked this chapter! It was cute!
I'm sorry it took so long! I'm working on it!

I'm tired as shit! I'm going to bed!

>>29933579
Honk indeed.

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>>29933575

where is my boy rosenkreutz

>>29934442
Out taking a dump. He'll be back in a minute.

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>>29925613
>It's an Anon becomes addicted to Applejack's ponut episode

>>29934529
>MFW SO MANY LEWD AND CLOP
Please writer... don't lost the dream.

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>>29931099
>>29931071
>not liking asshole anon

>>29934529
Write it.

>>29934529
It's not Anon's fault. She covers it in peanut butter every morning.

>>29934529
Moar

It's Time.
https://pastebin.com/J7CpqzxW

>"Aren't you excited, Anon!" Pinkie Pie screams, leaping beside you as you pass through the entry gates of the concert grounds.
"I'm so excited I could just shit. But I wont, because portapotties are disgusting," you say, hands in your pockets.>>The sun is shining over Ponyville on this beautiful spring day. And to celebrate the sunshine, some musicians decided to put together a benefit concert at the stage where Countess Coleratura played last year. You had nothing better to do and your little pink friend gave you the ticket for free, so why the fuck not?
>Oh, easy. Because you fucking hate everything. You have a headache. You're sore. You had a shitty day and worst of all, you're stressed. Not because anything particularly stressful is happening, but more because your mind is an anxious fuck about every little thing.
>"But Shake and Bake is one of my favorite events of the year! Just try and relax, Nonny. You could use an easy day."
"You aren't wrong about that."
>Then, you hear it. And you swear you were shot in the skull. Fucking reggae music. More like... rae-gay. Yeah, that's a good one.
"Are you serious, Pinkie? Reggae?"
>"Yeah!" Pinkie says, leaping towards the crowd. I'll see you in the party piiiit!"
>And with that, you're ditched by your only friend at an event you don't want to be at, listening to music you hate, with a bad headache. You rub your temples and decide that maybe it would be better to find a spot where the speakers aren't so loud.
1/9

>>29935967
>So, you put one foot in front of the other and make your way to the the back, where none of the other ponies are. There's a few stalls here and there, each selling different food and beverages. Then, your attention is drawn to a small stall that seems to be made on top of a park bench. A hand painted cardboard sign reads "All Natural Essentials and Organic Treats." In fact, it's written on the side of the cardboard that still has it's advertisements on it. It looks sketchy as fuck. Like, you're going to get stabbed levels of sketch.
>Then, the band's accordion solo begins.
>You know what? Fuck it. The stabbing in your brain is substantially worse than whatever pain the sweet embrace of death may bring you. Hell, you might even get to go to human heaven.
>Walking over to the makeshift stall, you take a moment to look at the mare sitting patiently, watching the show. She has a striking emerald fur as vivid as the growing grass itself. She appears as if she's in some sort of daze, with a gentle hint of a smile, as if she was trapped in some sort of happy memory. But wait. Wait just one second.
>Are those dreads? On a fucking pony? That's... weird.
>As you approach, her attention moves to you. Her smile doesn't falter, nor do her eyes seem to let go of that pleasant thought. Actually. On a closer look. She looks like she just pulled an all nighter. You haven't seen eyes that fucking red before since you came in Twilight's eye.
>"Blessings," says the mare as you approach. "Would you like to check out my wares?"
"Uh, sure. What do you have?" you ask rhetorically, as you look down to see what's there anyway.
>"I have all sorts of radical things that can revive your spiritual energy and help you find your balance with the world."
>She has a few hats and some rope. And one of the ropes is becoming undone at the end. They don't even look good. Whoever thought that red, yellow, and green are good colors together should have their toes amputated.
2/9

>>29935978
"How is a fucking hat going to balance my spiritual energy."
>"Woah, man," she says, her smile slowly fading. "You're really, like, harshing my mellow. The hats make you look cool and stay warm. The rope feels nice. And for everything else, I have brownies."
"Brownies?" you ask in disbelief, leaning back from the booth.
>Of course. Now it all makes sense. How did you not see it before? She's not tired. She's high as fuck. What you have on your hands is one hell of a high horse. In fact, now that smell is beginning to make sense. That putrid smell isn't the smell of sweaty ponies, the smell of a rotting carcass is coming from her dreads.
"Are those brownies what I think they are?" you ask.
>"Delicious?" she asks. "Because if you mean delicious, then the answer is yes."
>Yeah, those are pot brownies. That's for sure. Who would have thought there was some THC in Equestria? You know what. Fuck it. Today can't get any worse. And you've never heard of random drug testing before, so let's try it.
"How much are they?" you ask.
>The mare sits up straight and shakes her head violently.
>"Woah, man. I can't just sell you some brownies. We need to, like, make sure your aura is ready. We have to meditate to make sure your chakras are properly-"
"I have 5 bits."
>"I'll get you two."
>She grabs two baggies, each with a similarly sized chocolatey treat and hands them to you. Without a second thought, you stuff the entirety of one into you mouth.
>Jesus Christ these taste terrible. It tastes like they took these brownies, baked them in her grandmother's vagina for correct moistness, then left them behind a wall for three weeks so it could begin to grow just enough mold that would give you a really bad time, but not actually kill you. You choke it down as hard as quickly as you can.
>"Dude. Righteous," the mare says. "Those are gonna hit you fast."
"I hope so," you say, trying to choke down the aftertaste. You quickly unpack the other and down it.
3/9

>>29935984
>"Are you sure you don't want to... like, pace yourself?" the mare asks.
"Psh. Come on, this is Pony Pot. How hard would it really hit a human?" you say, walking back to the crowd of ponies after tossing five bits on the table.

One Hour Later...

>Oh my fucking god everything is amazing. Your body doesn't hurt. Everything is happy. And you know what? Isn't it kinda cool how, like, turtles walk super slow on land. But like, when they get in the water, they go ZOOOOM!
>"Dude," says a voice, as you feel a tugging at your shirt.
>And it feels so good to be out here with all the ponies. The grass under your feet is so soft... It's like you're becoming one with the world.
>"Dude."
>You look up to the source of the voice, and see the pony from earlier looking down at you. You bite your lip and immediately begin to snicker.
>"Dude, are you like, okay?" she asks.
"The high horse is standing above me. High above me," you whisper to yourself.
>"I told you it was strong, dude."
"I 'unno what that means, man," you say to her. "This is my firrst timmme."
>Her eyes grow wide, then she looks up and around at her surroundings.
>"Are you for real?" she asks. "You never got high before? And you just downed two brownies?"
"My body feels like cloud," you say, then begin to giggle.
>You then suddenly realize that you've been laying on the ground, and you aren't really sure how long you've been doing that, but man does the ground feel nice. You roll over and breath in the scent of that fresh green grass.
>"We have to get you out of public. You'll get picked up and then you're mellow is gonna be so totally wrecked."
>She pushes you with a hoof, and you groan in disapproval.
"No want uppie," you mutter.
>"Get up. We got to go," she says.
>Then, one limb after another, you manage to get yourself back up on two feet. Dude. You're soo tall in this pony world. It's almost like it was -made- for the ponies, who are much smaller than you. Dude. They're such little ponies.
4/9

>>29935990
>And as she grabs you hand and begins to pull you forward, you begin to realize something. You're... smiling. Holy shit, dude. You're actually smiling. Why the fuck are you smiling? You don't smile. You say mean things to ponies and jerk off at night all alone. Hell, you actually feel like being [i]nice[/i]. This being high thing isn't too bad. It feels like a nice little relaxer that could help you chill after a hard we- Holy shit man your hands are sooo big.
"Dude, High Horse."
>"Call me Treehugger, man."
"Treehorse."
>"That's Flutter's dealer name, man. Call me Treehugger."
"Whatever. Duuude. I really, really like being high.
>"That's because you're so high that you don't care about anything," she mutters back to you.
>You stop to take a good look at Treehugger, and now you notice how soft her fur looks. The genuine look of care and concern in her eyes. And even if her dreads are weird, she has a certain charm about her that's hard to but into words. She doesn't gussy herself up with make-up like all the other mares do. It's more like... she's all natural. And all natural is good. You think. Probably.
>Something about her just feels... safe.
"I care about [i]some[/i] things," you say. You aren't sure why you said it, but now it's out there. Your words are out in the world and they aren't coming back. Just like your childhood pet. Don't think about that.
>As you look up at your surroundings, you suddenly realize you have no idea how long you've been walking. And all you see is a combination of trees, grass, and a big orange tent.
"Is that your tent?" you ask.
>"Yeah, it's where I live," she says.
"Why do you live in a tent?"
>"So I can always live around some bomb-ass trees."
"Oh, right. Nature. I get it."
>She leads you to the tent, unzips the opening, then urges you inside.
>The whole floor of the tent is littered with blankets, pillows and assorted garmets.
"Pretty nice joint you got here," you ask.
>"Nah, I use a bubbler for that."
5/9

>>29935999
"What?"
>"Nevermind," she says. "Just lay down. I've got something nice for you. Just relax."
"Cool," you say. You have absolutely no idea why it's cool, but it seemed like the right thing to do. You lay down on the blankets, wondering why we've developed a social construct to say something is cool-- oh my god these blankets are so soft.
>She dips her head into a nearby bag and tosses you a small bag. You recognize it instantly.
"Ohmygod cheesey poofs," you scream, diving at the snacks like it was your latest chance to get laid.
>You rip open the bag and empty the pouch into your mouth. It feels as if the world stops. You feel the delicate curves of the cheesy treats roll over your tongue and it feels like you have a muscle spasm. You involuntarily moan as you begin to chew. A tear forms in your eye, knowing you may never taste anything this delicious in your life ever again.
>"Alright, just chill here overnight and you'll be groovy in the morning," she says, tossing a bottle of water near your head.
>You look to her, a blush forming on her face as you continue to feel the sexual pleasures of artificially flavored cheddar dust in your mouth. You should probably say you're sorry. But that isn't what you say.
"Oh god, is this what they mean by free love?" you ask. "Because this food. I swear. I feel like I'm having sex in my mouth."
>The mare beside you bites her lip.
"Because everything is awesome. This is awesome. You are awesome."
>"Really?" she asks, her eyes looking away, ears folding down, and a hoof reaching up to touch her dreads.
"Dude," you say, your mouth working faster than your mind. "You're like, so pretty. Anyone, er- anypony, could see that."
>Treehugger smiles and moves beside you and lays down.
>"You really feel that good?" she asks, looking into your eyes.
"Yeah, man," you say. "This is--"
6/9

>>29936008
>Then she moves in closer and places her lips on yours. You feel her hoof press against your chest as she presses deeper. The world feels as if it falls away and leaves the two of you alone, and in a place far away from any sort of distraction. Your muscles tense, and then relax.
>Her lips break away from yours and you hear the gentle 'smack' of the kiss as it ends. She pulls away from you, and you look into her eyes. A blush covers her cheeks as her eyes dart away.
>"So, heh. Free love, huh?" she says.
"That... was," you say, trying to recatch your breath. "Amazing."
>That's it. It's on. Fuck cheesy puffs. You've made a mountain out of a molehill in your pants. Or, more like, you're going to put your mountain in [i]her[/i] molehill. You push your treats aside and move on top of her. Your lips connect to hers once more as you place a hand on her cheek. You quickly begin to tear off your shirt as you feel her push her tongue into your mouth.
>You instantly begin to fumble with your pants and she places a hoof on your cheek and pushes away.
>"Do you have anything?" she asks.
"Like, protection?" you ask.
>"Nah, man. I mean, like diseases."
"Oh, hell no."
>"Okay, cool," she says, wiggling her rear on your crotch. "Ready for something really awesome?"
>If you were a chronic premature ejaculator with the world's smallest micropenis, then you probably would have just came. But luckily, you aren't. You rip off your pants as quickly as you can, for not being a Chippendale dancer, and look down to properly aim yourself.
>Then, you pause to examine her crotch. She has just the slightest tuft of fur to match her red mane down by her privates. You know, wouldn't it be weird if she put that in dreads too?
>Wait, Anon. You're getting laid. Stop being crazy high for, like, three seconds.
7/9

>>29936017
>You place your cock against her winking clit and begin to rub yourself. She instantly gasps in pleasure and her eyes grow wide. Treehugger bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes, leaning her head back. Her little moans ring through the tent and only further your shared bliss.
>You feel her juices lubricate your member, and strong shockwaves of pleasure run from the tip of your cock and flow through the rest of your body. You take short, shallow breaths as your body grows warm. You lean towards her and press your dick against her opening.
"Are you ready?" you ask.
>"Y-yeah," she pants.
>You push yourself in and both of you shamelessly moan at the pulse of each other's body. You wrap your arms underneath her and slowly ease yourself in. She places a hoof to her mouth and covers her mouth, stifling her sensual song.
"Is that okay?" you ask.
>"It's so good," she says, trying to catch her breath. "How is it for you?"
"This is the best sex... ever."
>"Yeah?" she asks, with a smile.
"Yeah."
>"C-can you do something for me?" she asks.
"Of course," you say, willing to do anything about now in order to get your dick wet. Er. Well. To continue keeping your dick wet.
>"Can you... tell me I'm pretty?" Treehugger asks.
>You feel a sudden stab in the center of your chest at her words. You smile and press a hand to her cheek.
"Of course I think you're pretty," you whisper.
>A faint smile forms on her lips as she leans in closer to you and plants her lips on yours. You pull yourself to about half hilt, then plunge in deeper once more. Then again, and again. Each thrust sending wave after wave of pulsing pleasure through your rod. You feel the heat of her breath against your lips and sweat begins to form on your skin as you push yourself deeper and deeper.
8/9

>>29936025
>Treehugger pants openly, holding her hooves on your shoulders and wrapping her lower half around you. Her walls wrap tightly around your dick and only heightens the intensity of the feeling. You feel your body grow light as you see her lewd expressions. you run your hand over her soft fur, feeling the warmth of her body in your hand. You increase your pace.
>"I-I don't know how long I'll last," she says panting.
"It's okay. I'm getting close too."
>"Together?" she asks.
"Yeah."
>You thrust deeper and deeper. You feel the base of your shaft smack against her body, and a pressure builds up in your groin.
>"Meld your body with me. Let's become one," she moans.
>You take a deep breath and hold it, trying to control your lower muscles to hold back your orgasm for awhile longer. Treehugger's moans grow higher in pitch as she thrusts her body into yours.
>"I-I'm coming!" Treehugger screams.
>You feel a massive burst of hot come erupt from your cock and shoot deep inside her as her pussy milks you for every last drip you have. You exhale, feeling your body grow weightless and pull her in close to you. You move to your side and keep her close to you, still connected, melded as one.

>When you open your eyes, you look to your right, a smile plastered on your face. Then, you witness for yourself a marvel of modern Equestria. Treehigger holds a massive bong in her hooves, places her mouth on the opening, and takes the longest, strongest bong-rip you've ever heard or seen in your life. Then, she she pulls her mouth away, she holds it in her lungs for a moment, then blows out the smoke in perfectly formed circles across the tent.
"Are you hotboxing the tent?" you ask, sitting up. "First thing in the morning?
>She smiles and holds her water pipe to you.
>"Yeah, dude. Wake and Bake. Wanna join me?" she asks.
9/10

>>29936035
>You sit up, looking down at your naked form, then back to her. You know what? She took care of you. She helped you enjoy your first pot experience. She's nice. Hell. This is the happiest you've been since you've come to Equestria.
"You know what? Why not," you say, taking the pipe.
>And so, that morning was the beginning of something absolutely wonderful. On that day, you learned how to count your blessings, encountered a really wonderful mare, and learned to blow some sick smoke rings.

Here's all my dumb stuff

https://pastebin.com/u/FlutterPriest
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Flutterpriest

S-sorry.

>>29936044
its shit

>>29936065
Then it suits you just fine.

>>29936065
Thanks Luzies

>>29936072
Anytime.

Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/5gQ5hMeU
Continued from >>29917505


>What's her name...
>Twilight... Sprinkles?
>Something along that.
>You'll just stick with Twilight, or Book Horse.
>She lives in a library and likes books. Simple enough.
>You're approaching the massive tree that houses the Ponyville library, home to the purple unicorn and her small dragon slave.
>Or assistant.
>Not much of a difference.
>You reach the door and give five quick knocks.
>In no time at all it opens, revealing...
>No one.
>"Hey Anon, how's it going?"
>Whoops.
>You glance down to see Spike standing before you in all his short glory.
>You literally look down on everyone, something that's still taking some getting used to.
"'Sup. Is Twilight here? I need to talk to her."
>"She's right over there. Come on in!"
>Spike moves away from the door and out of view.
>You step inside, closing the door behind you.
>Ah, libraries.
>You can't remember the last time you visited one on Earth.
>Twilight is sitting at a table next to one of the few sections of wall not occupied by a bookshelf. A book lies open before her, but all her attention is on you.
>"Anonymous, what a pleasant surprise! How has your day been so far? Are you enjoying your time in Ponyville?"
>Book Horse has dubbed you her responsibility, seeing as she's the princess' personal protégée.
>For someone who's supposed to keep tabs on you, the pair of you don't converse much.
>Sure you have a different place of temporary residence, but still.
>When you do talk you get the feeling she always wants to say more, except something holds her back.
"Good and yea, it's been alright."
>"If there's anything I can do to make your stay more than 'alright', just let me know!"
>For starters, you'd love for everyone not to fear you.
>There aren't many ponies you can even pass by without noticing the uneasiness in their eyes.
>Time, Anon. That takes time.
>...You hope.
"I'll keep that in mind."

>>29936215
>You head over to the table all the while continuing to talk.
"I... uh, have a question."
>"What is it?"
>You reach the small table, towering over the sitting mare.
"It's about... it's... okay let's get some backstory here so this doesn't sound so stupid."
>Twilight's horn glows, levitating a bookmark near her which she places neatly between the book's pages.
>She shuts it and you can make out the title.
>Melzar's Multitude of Mesmerizing Mythical Creatures: Volume Four
>...
>Say nothing, Anon.
>Two pony ears direct their attention to you.
>"I'm all ears."
>Alrighty, where to start...
>The beginning sounds good. Best to not leave anything out.
"So earlier today, Skittles was bothering me--"
>"'Skittles'?"
"Rainbow Dash. It's a nickname."
>Her right eye gives a near-imperceptible twitch, which you ignore.
"Yea, so Dash was bothering me..."
>You go through the events leading up to when she got in your face.
"...you should've seen it, it was great. Then after a few seconds she drops into the pond. Stops flying, stops moving, just lets gravity take over. I'm talking one hundred to zero like /that/."
>You snap your fingers for effect.
>Twilight adopts a worried expression.
>"Was she okay?"
"I thought the same thing. Pulled her out and she said 'don't touch my nose, it felt weird' and I asked her to elaborate. That's when she got all embarrassed and stuff."
>"Embarrassed? Why would she be embarrassed over that?"
"Exactly! I made a few... guesses that were a couple miles off mark, all under the assumption that there's something special about your noses that I didn't get the memo on. That's when she finally spilled the beans."
>Book Horse is glued to your every word now.
"Turns out she liked it. And when I say liked it, I really mean she LOVED it, if the second time was any indication."
>Twilight takes a moment to process this new revelation about her friend.
>"Rainbow Dash... likes having her nose touched?"

>>29936225
>She's bewildered, to say the least.
"There's more to it. She couldn't explain why or how it felt so good."
>You shake your head.
"So after she pestered me for a third one which she received, she flew away. That just left me and Fluttershy. Short story short, I asked to try it on her. Guess what?
>"Fluttershy didn't feel anything?"
"WRONG. She experienced the same stuff as Dash! Both of them apparently have some weird enjoyment of being booped."
>"'Booped'?"
>Ugh.
"Basically a light tap, like this."
>You demonstrate using the back of your hand as the receiver.
"Yea, so all of that leads into my question."
>You dramatically clear your throat.
"What the FUCK is going on??? Have I been lied to regarding noses? I need answers... Please."
>Always remember your manners.
>Twilight looks at you with a frown.
>"There are children present, Anonymous. I know you have different words than ponies for expressing heavy emotions but a swear is a swear."
>Oh crap, you forgot Spike was here.
>A quick turn-around and you spot him in a poor attempt to pretend he isn't eavesdropping.
"Sorry, it slipped out."
>"Understandable."
>Twilight levitates a stool over to you, which you place down before taking a seat.
>Once you've stopped fidgeting, she speaks up.
>"I've never heard of anypony who experienced a reaction similar to what you've mentioned. This is very strange."
>You don't like that look she's giving you.
>It screams "The only reason I haven't dismissed this is because you're new here."
"I swear I'm not insane, I am just as confused as you are. If you don't believe me go talk to Fluttershy, she can vouch for me."
>...Unless she focuses more on your accidental staring.
>The reassurance of having someone to confirm your ludicrous findings with appears to ease Twilight's mind.
>"I believe you Anonymous, peculiar as it sounds."
>Thank goodness.

>>29936231
>Her eyes trail upwards in thought.
>"Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy... For something so noncomplex, how could it remained unnoticed for so long?"
>Twilight is in her own world now, speaking to herself more than you.
>"They're both pegasi, which may play a factor in this."
>She looks at you once more.
>"All you did was touch their noses?"
"Yup."
>"...Could you demonstrate on me? If my hypothesis is correct, unlikely as it is--"
>She mutters that last part.
>"--we might be able to narrow it down to a specific group, making it easier to determine who or what is affected. Of course there are Celestia-knows how many other variables we need to account for, but this is a good place to start."
>Touch Book Horse's nose? Simple enough.
"Alright. Whenever you're ready."
>Twilight leans closer to the table, jutting out her head. Her pale-mulberry nose sticks out for testing.
>If this doesn't work you'll look like you've gone nutters; the last thing you need when barely anyone trusts you.
>Up goes your hand.
>Ready... Aim....
>*Boop*
>Twilight's nose twitches.
>That's a good sign.
>Her eyes cross.
>That's a funny sign. Also good.
>There's the face scrunch.
>All that's left is--
>Book Horse's eyes widen, pupil's dilating. Her mouth forms into a small "o".
>This is new.
>After a few seconds her eyes return to normal only now she's smiling, showing plenty of teeth.
>"This is incredible! I've never felt so... so..."
"Good?"
>"Great! No, more than great! This is better than when I scored perfect marks on Princess Celestia's Transfiguration Exam! Everypony else got stuck on the orange, but I did it! Oh that was an amazing day!"
>...
>Good for her?
>This is not much different than Skittles' final reaction but far more energetic than Fluttershy's.
>Maybe Quiet Horse's reserved nature kept her from acting like so.
>Twilight finally brings herself to focus on you.

>>29936238
>"I'm sorry I ever doubted you Anonymous. You've discovered something huge! Of course my reaction completely blows away my hypothesis, but who cares!"
>You're just relieved it works on her.
>Twilight takes in a deep breath before letting out a satisfied sigh.
>"Ahhhh. We need to get to the bottom of this. I hope you like answering questions."
>Her horn is enveloped in her signature light-raspberry aura but nothing happens.
"I'll answer whatever you want me to."
>Her ears perk up at that.
>"Really?"
"Yea, how else are we supposed to figure this out?"
>You flinch as a quill and piece of paper soar by your ear.
>So that's what she was doing.
>"Oh..."
>Twilight appears crestfallen.
>?
"Did you have something else in mind?"
>"Not exactly... It's nothing important, don't worry."
>She lets out a half-hearted chuckle.
>Okay...
>Quill and paper at the ready, Twilight is silent in thought.
>Eventually she speaks up.
>"Just to confirm, you have no magic whatsoever residing in you, correct?"
"Right."
>"Based off your thoughts on pressing noses, hue-muns gain no pleasure from being booped. Is this true?"
>You manage to suppress a snort.
>You're also impressed she remembers your species, seeing as you've brought it up a grand total of one time.
"Also right."
>"And, considering your reaction to this development, you are not performing these... boopings with the conscious intention to benefit others."
"Correct."
>...
>Wait.
>"Do--"
"Elaborate on that last sentence."
>"Would you like me to rephrase it?"
"I understand what you meant. I was referring to 'the conscious intention to benefit others'."
>Twilight's gaze never leaves you even while the quill effortlessly glides from left to right, printing unknown words.
>Neat.
>"I could explain now, but I'm willing to bet you'll have your answer after a few more minutes."
>You decide to let the subject drop.
"If you say so."

>>29936246
>Twilight nods, resuming where she left off.
>"This is... interesting, at the very least. An otherworldly being with no magic is able to bring pleasure to ponies just by touching their noses."
>Twilight blinks.
>"...Very interesting."
>That's one way of putting it.
"So now what?"
>"Now? Now I want to know /how/. How are you able to do it?"
>You shrug.
"I don't know. I was hoping you had an answer."
>"Anonymous, there is an infinitesimal chance something so glaringly blatant has gone unnoticed in Equestria for the thousand-plus years it has existed. For goodness sake, all it takes is a press of the nose!"
>Twilight brings a hoof up to her face, gently pressing down on her nose.
>The pair of you wait for any reaction, yet none comes.
>"See?!?"
"Maybe you can't do it to yourself. Maybe you need someone else."
>Twilight gives you a look of exasperation.
>"I've lost count of the amount of times Pinkie booped me!"
>She's a fast learner. She's already caught on to its usage.
>"For some reason only you can pull it off!"
>This has gone well past absurd and jumped straight into what-in-the-fuck-is-going-on-even territory.
>Bewildered doesn't even begin to describe how you feel.
"Book Horse,--"
>Her eyes narrow, which you ignore.
"--do you understand just how /insane/ that sounds?"
>"YES!!!"
>She wails that out.
>...
>......
>You get it now.
>Twilight Sprinkles.
>Princess Celestia's star pupil.
>The librarian; book reader extraordinaire.
>The mare who undoubtedly knows more than anyone you've met (limited as that list may be).
>Twilight is completely and utterly lost.
>This two-legged creature has her stumped, simply because it doesn't fit here. It doesn't belong here.
>You definitely feel for her right now.
>It must be similar to how you felt upon your arrival to this magical world.
>'This shouldn't happen. This shouldn't be real.'
>...
>'But it is.'

>>29936251
>The two of you say nothing else, letting the ambient sounds of the world wash over you.
>You can hear Spike occasionally turn a page from a book he's pretending to read.
>Finally you break the silence.
"...It just blows my mind, y'know? I'm not doing anything special at all. Just--"
>You gesture with a finger.
"--one finger, nothing more to it."
>Twilight stares flatly at your outstretched hand.
>Suddenly it's like a switch was flicked.
>Her drooped ears shoot up and you can see a spark of hope in her eyes.
>"Spike! I need your help!"
>In a matter of seconds the purple dragon is by her side.
>Still hard to believe this squirt is a dragon. Guess the fantasy books couldn't get everything right.
>"What do you need, Twilight?"
>"A booping!"
>...
>Quick, roll to avoid smiling!
>The die shows...
>One.
>Fuck.
>You guffaw, poorly covering it up with an equally loud coughing fit.
>Twilight and Spike stare at you.
>"You okay dude?"
>Your eyes water as you address Spike's concern.
"Yea, there's something in my throat."
>A bad case of the giggles.
>"Do you need a glass of water?"
"It's all good, I think it's gone now."
>Interruption over, he turns back to Twilight.
>"One booping coming right up!"
>...
>You snort.
>Twilight positions herself parallel to the table, again holding her head out for Spike to access.
>Spike stretches his arm as high as it can go, prompting Twilight to lower her head.
>Now easier to access, he extends a claw, and...
>*Boop*
>...
>......
>Twilight blinks.
>You and Spike are watching her with bated breath.
>No crossed eyes so far.
>...
>She huffs.
>"Nothing."
>Damn.
"If you did this for the reason I think you did, it was a good idea. Shame it didn't work."
>Twilight lets out a groan of frustration.
>"I was hoping the similarity of your hands and claws respectively would lead to a breakthrough."
>Knew it.
>She eyes Spike.
>"Speaking of, those things are sharp mister."

>>29936260
>"Well I /did/ trim them today."
>He admires his handiwork... or clawdiwork.
>Whatever.
>Twilight is staring at nothing in particular.
>She sighs in resignation.
>You're just as curious as her to know the reason only you, given your current information, can boop ponies with great results.
>The thing is, she's taking the lack of progress much harder than you.
>You don't want her stressing out too much over it.
>Good thing you have a solution, temporary as it may be.
"Twilight."
>The disheartened lavender unicorn rotates her head to face you...
>Only to meet a finger.
>*Boop*
>Does it work on sad ponies?
>It fucking better.
>Fortunately your worries are assuaged.
>Twilight breaks into a smile. Not long afterwards, she laughs.
>Seeing her distress fade away like a bad dream makes you grin.
>Who cares how this works? You can turn frowns upside down with a simple touch, that's all that matters.
>...
>Naah, you still want answers.
>Twilight finishes up her giggle session, beaming at you.
>"Thank you Anonymous, I needed that."
"Anytime."
>She lets out another sigh, only this one is of contentment.
>All this time Spike has been standing next to her, observing with great interest.
>He directs his attention to you, clearly excited.
>"I want a turn, Anon!"
>Twilight looks down at him.
>"...Please?"
>You're impressed he figured that out from her still-cheerful expression.
"Sure. Prepare your nose."
>"Yes!"
>He scurries over to you, jutting out his head in preparation.
>With practiced precision, you take aim and...
>*Boop*
>Wow, his scales are much tougher than they appear.
>It's a sharp contrast to the soft pony noses you've been booping.
>Spike closes his eyes as you touch him, keeping them shut even after your job is finished.
>You wait patiently for the effects to sink in.
>Any second now...
>...
>Any second...
>...
>Spike opens his eyes.
>"Uh, I'm not feeling anything."
>Twilight's eyes widen in shock.
>"Really?!?"

>>29936272
>"Yea..."
>Huh.
>That blows.
>Twilight, on the other hand, is thrilled.
>"This is incredible! That means there are limits! Restrictions! If we figure out who isn't receptive, we can use common factors to work towards finding the 'how' for your ability!"
>'Ability'
>She makes it sound so much cooler than it is.
"Sounds good."
>"Yea, it's just wonderful..."
>Oh fuck, Spike.
>The little dragon makes no effort to hide his sullen mood.
>By a stroke of bad luck, he can't experience the same joy his...
>What the hell /does/ he see her as?
>You'll have to ask him in private.
>Point is, he's irked.
>You put on your best apologetic expression.
"Sorry man, I can't do anything about it."
>Spike waves a claw dismissively.
>"I know. It's still lame..."
>You watch him amble back to his reading spot.
>Poor dude.
>You turn back to Twilight
>She's fidgeting in her seat, fit to burst at any moment.
>This might be her biggest project yet, and she's dying to get started.
>Yet her violet eyes are still set on you.
>"You know, I've been doing my best to follow Princess Celestia's advice. It hasn't been easy but I've managed."
>What advice?
>"Then today came along and blew away any chance of sticking to it."
>Twilight looks nervous.
>"Anonymous, your ability is a reminder of just how little anypony knows about you. So if you want to, and ONLY if you want to... couldyoupossiblytellmeafewthingsaboutyourself?"
>Twilight grins uneasily.
>No need to get so worked up, Book Horse.
>She's right, you've been purposefully silent regarding your history.
>Main reason being almost no one asks. Presumably too busy trying to avoid being noticed by you.
>But Twilight's words make it sound like she was told not to pry you open for information despite wanting to.
>Now why would she be advised to do that?
>She's level-headed and rarely jumps to conclusions. She was the first to recognize you as more than a mysterious beast.

>>29936282
>Of course you can tell her about yourself.
"Twilight, if there's ever anything you want or need to know about me or humans in general-- within reason of course-- just ask."
>Giving her a rundown of Hitler probably wouldn't end well.
>Her fidgeting stops as she stares at you with apprehension.
>"...Are you sure?"
"Absolutely positive."
>You give a thumbs up.
>Twilight seems to be having a hard time taking it in. She closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.
>"...Thank you Anonymous. I will do my best to moderate the number of inquiries so you aren't overwhelmed."
>'Moderate'?
>Just how many questions does she have?
>She opens her eyes, smiling warmly.
>"There's so much to do; I can't think of where to start!"
>You can help with that.
"Me first, or the booping?"
>Twilight brings a hoof to her chin, pondering.
>Her horn lights up, and this time you can hear the sound of paper rushing towards you.
>"Let's begin with you. Who you are, /what/ you are... mostly the former."
>She grins sheepishly.
>Guess you'll begin with the basics.
>You straighten up a little before you start talking.
"My name is Anonymous..."
-------

Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/5gQ5hMeU

Part 2 done. Criticism needed, etc.

I swear this story isn't going to get ridiculously complex, for anyone who thought so (or wanted so). Also happy to say I'm 100% more motivated to finish this.

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>>29936288
And I feel 100% more motivated to read this.

Keep going m8 and good work!

>>29936288
great read
i want more
!!

>>29934753
I don't think he's an asshole , I think he just likes older mares. A lot of his comics is him hitting on mother's and whatnot.

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>>29936354
>>29936393
Thanks guys.

>>29936677
no thank you

>>29936044
It was okay anon.
Not your greatest, because treehugger is shit, but nice.

>>29924865
Nice

>>29936044
Once you go Erf Poni, you never go back, amirite guise?

>Ponies have 12 hour days
>Think Anon died because he literally slept for like 20 hours, courtesy of Applejack's moonshine
>AJ panics because she thinks she killed Anon
>Twilight, not wanting to lose a friend, conspires with Luna, who wants the D, to raise Anon from the "dead"
>Anon wakes up feeling like shit, badly hungover, by coincidence as they complete the ritual
>They think he's a zombie and try to keep him hidden
>Anon just wants to do his usual thing
>The Six, plus Glimmer, are roped into it
>Shenanigans as they try to maintain the illusion Anon is 'alive'
>Anon has no idea why the fuck they're actin so odd

>>29938018
"I was asleep for one day! One day! What the fuck!"

>>29938018
>"J-Just check his pulse or sumthin!"
>"That wouldn't work stupid, everpony knows Anon doesn't have a heart!"

>>29938045
"...Yeah, figures Luna would say that. Just because a guy isn't interested in porking an alien horse-princess."

>>29931099
For a moment I thought that was a dragon dildo in the last panel

>>29938108
Evil mind.

>>29931099
I really wish heaven existed. Because if it did , this'd be mine.

>>29938719
>this'd be mine.
>everyone will be us

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These threads are my primary reason for coming to the board, I still watch the show, but holy hell, I need solid escapism too

>>29938045
>"Haha! Look at that Twilight! Anon and Fluttershy are masturbating! How weird!"

>>29937413
Where's the mess tray?

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>>29938748
I meant this would be my heaven. Perhaps I have it wrong , but I thought Christians had this thing where you have your own personal heaven. I dunno , don't expect me to know things about religion.

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>>29938985
I don't think your own personal Heaven, complete with talking ponies, is in the Bible.

Then again a big part of the Protestant Reformation was the idea that Christians can and should read the Bible themselves and interpret it for themselves rather than being dependent upon the Church to do this for them. So if you say you believe Heaven must have ponies, at least if you're Protestant, in theory no one has theological authority to tell you you're wrong. In actual fact over the past 450 years it hasn't worked out that way. But we're getting awfully serious for a board founded to talk about Mongolian cave paintings, so have a cute pony.

>>29939026
I wouldn't know , the only experience I have with Christianity is my aunt. She tried to get me in to it when I was younger by telling me everyone gets their own personal heaven. She's rather strict about it , so I took it that's what Christians believed. I don't know how it got to this , I just made a remark that if heaven existed my heaven would be an awkward relationship with a yellow pony.

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>>29939091
ah. Trying not to derail the thread here--but there are a billion or more Christians on Earth. The list of things all of them--Protestant, Catholic, Orthodox, Coptic, and so on--hold in common as beliefs isn't long.

And yes, I understand your awkward desire for a certain quiet, butter-yellow pegasus.

>>29936044
very comfy

>>29936288
>ridiculously complex
Don't care, stories don't have to be complex to be fun, and this is already a lot of fun. Keep this shit up anon. The current style is working great.

>>29936288
I'm too tired to give a full comment again, so all I'm going to say is that it looks fucking great!

>>29939268
>that gif
I would bully the fuck out of that pony

>>29934424
>"Hey kid, wanna spread something?"
"The word of Christ?"
>"I don't know who that is."
"And I don't know what you're saying half the time."
>"Then let me put it another way. Ever been inside a pony before?"
"Inside? That's impossible."
>"Every pony has a special hole leading to her deepest desires. And you have the key."
"Nah uh. That's a lie."
>"It's true. I can even show you mine IF you follow me behind that shed."
"But that shed belongs to Old Man Henderson."
>"Not right now it doesn't."
"That place is h-h-haunt-spooked."
>"Ghost aren't real Anon."
>"YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!"
"But grumpy old men are."

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>>29937687

Indeed. Some of the most fuckable ponies in Equestria have neither wings nor horns.

>>29940379
UNFFFFF!

>>29940437
You mean Spike?
But he's just a little kid.

>>29940513
spike isn't a pony, dumbass

>>29940682
Sure he is.
You are what you eat after all.

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>>29940437
Life is hard.

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>>29935284
>it's an applejack develops a permanent ache in her spine because of anon's addiction to pounding her ponut so her applebucking ability suffers causing apple acres to slowly accumulate more and more debt over time forcing her to apply for a loan at ponyville bank episode

>>29941651
It's not really their fault. The bank covers itself with peanut butter every morning.

>>29941651
tweest: The bank is a front for one of Celestia's black-budget orgs, the Ponut Research Division. They keep adjusting the interest rate and being lax about collections to prolong the situation and collect as much data as possible on the effects of long-term alien ponut-poundings. The recorded findings are *coughhiddeninthepornchestundercelestiasbedcough* hoped to lead to defensive measures in case Equestria is ever attacked by interdimensional sexual berserkers.

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>>29940437
God bless the crop tool

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>>29942473
It's okay though because Celestia has a stand in for when she needs to go over the research findings.
Oddly enough the research findings are not covered in peanut butter.

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>>29940437
>Some of the most fuckable ponies in Equestria have neither wings nor horns.

And some have both, but the two really hot-looking ones work long hours and have lots of suitors anyway...

>>29943419
Best princess

>>29944153
Even better than Derpicorn?

>>29944213
>Didn't mean Pincess Derps

>>29944296
I like Derpy a lot. She is Best Pegasus and Best Mom. But Sunbutt is Best Princess, and probably appreciates being able to stick a plunger and a peytral on Derpy and have her stand in for a few minutes now and then. ("I'll be right back. Just look calm.")

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>>29943051
>it's an anon spends the afternoon making crops of lewd pony images from his 7GB collection and uploading them to the ponynet making the citizens of equestria curious as to why there are so many partial pictures of the mane six with unusual facial expressions episode

Can anyone recommend me a sadish story that is kinda nice, kinda like 'The Keepers of Discord'?
>inb4 something about it being shit
You all read it so shut it. The point is the vibe,

>>29944597
Find jeffmango's pastebin.

>>29944334
Nah, Derp still best

>>29944731
Thanks, I'll just pick one.
Unless you got anything you like specifically.

>>29944883
Ehhh, I believe they're all great.
I just know that whenever I have time to waste and starts reading a green of his, I don't sleep much, my heart go doki doki, I shitpost angrily at him for making x waifu cry, and then I cry myself to sleep.
His fluttershy reverse trap was nice. (dw no homo)

>>29944905
I've actually read all his Twi shit, so I'm going to branch out.
Octavia doesn't get a lot of attention and he's got a few with her. Gonna try one of those.

>>29940150
*teleports behind you*

>>29945007
gud

Not dead yet just haven't had a good chance to write anything, that and when I've tried I've been too tired to accomplish anything.
I did manage to stop being lazy about fixing the pastebin and I think it's in order now, if anyone notices anything weird like missing chunks of story let me know. I'll do my best to get an actual update out soon.

https://pastebin.com/4DcZLrJe

>>29939706
>>29939772
I may not always respond but I really do appreciate the compliments. Thank you guys.

>>29946232
kek, I don't do it for the (You), don't worry about it

>>29944501
It's not their fault. The images are covered in peanut butter.

>>29946621
Uhmmmmmm

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>Lighting a match and tossing is behind you back into the bathroom you make your way out into the foyer of the Crystal Castle.™
>"Gggggrrrrrrrr RAHHHhhhh"
>Your eyes follow the pony who is /somehow/ the most well learned being you've ever met around the hall until you notice what that she's chasing something in a yellow bubble.
"The fuck is that."
>Spike, previously running, slows to a crawl in front of you, panting.
>"T-hat's ah, Flurry H-heart. Twilight's niece. Sh-"
"Nope. Not today."
>Holding up your hand you start making your way to the entrance.
"Not dealing with this shit today."
>Grabbing a present off the floor you toss it at Grrlight Bearkle, who catches it with her magic and stops her pursuit of the over powered filly.
>"Anonymous! Some of these are fragile. Yo-"
"I'm heading out Twinkles. It's hard enough keeping Trixie out of my shit. Keep your niece on a leash."
>Twilight sends a slight scowl your way and pauses, seemingly waiting for you to leave.
>Opening the door to the castle you turn around.
"Don't let me keep you, feel free to get growling again.
>Despite rolling her eyes, she can't help but let a little crimson flush into her muzzle.
"Don't wear yourself out though. The last time I heard you growling like that you were so beat the next day."
>Eyes wide and ears at attention the frozen pony stairs at you.
"I think it was the day you got that weird pillow in the mail."
>You say with a smirk.
>"ANONYMO-"
>Before the projectile presents have a chance to make impact, you slam the door.
>Chuckling, you think to yourself about two things. How on Equis she got that pillow without the internet and more importantly, where you can get one.

Shitty bump.

>>29946627
formatting fucked up, reposted it

>>29946636
>stairs
stares

>>29946646
>>29941651
>formatting
how did that happen?

>>29944501
If only you write full story. I will fap that.

>>29946787
I'll try writing something up.
For you.

>>29946843
u better

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>>29946843
Believe it.. fucking believe it you pussy!

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>>29946843

>>29947677
>that fucking art
>lyra having blowjob to assface nigger
If only anon here...
>human master race
>sex overlord

>>29947788
>>lyra having blowjob to assface nigger
wot

>>29947801
He doesn't realize that all ponies are pink if you shave them.

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>It's a Celestia breaks into Anon's house and misuses the appliances episode.

>>29948520
It's not her fault Anon covers his appliances in peanut butter every morning.

>>29948549
You know it's Pinky going around covering everything in peanut butter.

>>29948520
>Celestia is in the clothes washer, taking a bubble bath
>her ceremonial neck and hoof adornments are in the dishwasher
>her bodyguards have taken apart your blender and rigged it up to a spear to make the blade spin
>Pinkie has jumped in the clothes dryer because she found out it could make her hair even more poofy and cotton candy-like
>Luna has your oven on full-blast but the door is open and she's roasting marshmallows on sticks over the heating elements
>she's put the graham crackers with chocolate over the slots of the toaster and is warming them up
>the spa ponies have taken your vacuum and decoupled the suction hose, using the rotating bristle brush to give massages
>Celestia and Luna stretched the hose out between the kitchen and the laundry room, and are using it as a speaking tube so they don't have to yell back and forth while discussing which cabinet they should rummage around in next

>>29948762
You'd think he would be annoyed, but Anon moved out after the third time this happened.
He did not leave a forwarding address.

>>29948762
TFW no ponies break into your house and ruin your stuff.

>>29948762
That's adorable.

>>29946843
Back from wagecucking.

>You are generic canterlot palace guard #493
>It is a dark and stormy evening in canterlot, and after a typical, boring day shift you are relaxing at home, sitting before the screen of your new Pear™ V1 ponynet communications device
>The sound of the weather is something you're becoming unaware of the more you focus on the screen- there's not a moment going by without multiple fresh posts appearing on equestria.net's various boards, accompanied by the occasional image
>For some weeks you've been slowly devoting more and more of your free time to the ponynet- to be exact, the equestria discussion boards, along with so many of the other early adopters of this nifty new technology
>A couple new posts pass by, and you're drawn to one- it's that "anonymous" fellow, again
>You've seen his posts on equestria.net since day one- he always seemed the odd kind of pony, with his insistence of having been online for years despite the ponynet having gone up only two months ago, and even more bizzare claims that he is not a pony at all
>He also somehow got around the personal photo requirement for a ponynet account, instead representing himself with a badly drawn image of a bear or walrus
>This time, it isn't what he's saying that gets your attention
>Something about rigging an SSD to be Pear compatible, whatever that means. Instead, it is the picture he attached
>It features art of the element of kindness, Fluttershy, red-faced with a look of absolute shock
>...
>Oh

>>29950633
>You lean in and click on the picture, expanding it to its full size, and inspect it in detail. The lines are smooth, incredibly so. Fluttershy's eyes are focused, sharply, on some unseen object. The artist has captured her face almost perfectly, only, it looks as if there is meant to be more of her. As if you're only looking at a zoomed-in section of a complete work
>After anonymous' latest post, two ponies quickly reply to him. The first reads only "what", while the second asks what the image is
>You click the reply box and start typing a message
>"We're not seeing the full picture. What is this from? Artist?"
>Send
>You go back to the image. While awaiting a reply you study it. The lines, the high quality of the colors. Then, from somewhere within, you feel... something. A compulsion
>...
>Right click
>Save image
>A reply arrives within the minute
>It's anonymous
>"Foreign artist. From my vast collection."
>A foreign artist... Is this what eastern art looks like?
>Multiple new posts then appear below anonymous' response
>"full please"
>"The whole picture?"
>"more?"
>"what am i looking at here?"
>anonymous' next reply is quick and brief.
>"Hold a sec, ponies. I'll share what I can :^)"
>What he posts next, is surprising, if not confusing
>The image displays Fluttershy as before, only, the complete picture reveals the object of her attention- a large, and extremely detailed sandwich

More y/n?

Re-posted from old Magicless Anon thread, but it's generic enough.

>A pony's magic constantly refills, so even if a large amount is drained, it replenishes fully over time.
>One of Twilight's experiments causes Anon, a magically blank being, to be saturated in a lot of her magic in a million-to-one fluke.
>It transforms him into a green and lavender alicorn.
>However, the twist: Anon likes being a magical blank.
>There's no pressure, no responsibility, and he's as lazy as fuck.
>Go on life-threatening adventures? Fuck that.
>Now, he's a FimFiction-tier, cringe-worthy alicorn OC.
>He's pressuring Twilight to fix this mistake quickly.
>Twilight reluctantly searches for a solution.
>She likes having another brother ('cause her magic basically made him).
>Meanwhile, the other alicorns are sniffing about, whether to welcome him to the family or for more... lewd and romantic reason.
>Anon just wants to go back to bed, go bar-hopping at night with Mac, Lyra, etcetera.
>"Goddamnit, Rarity! Stop stalking me! I'm not a prince, and we hated each other's guts before!"

Also: >>29947518

>>29950664

y
As much y as possible.

Is there a fic where Anon is treated like a precious object? Paraded around as a display of power? Kept extremely safe against his own will to ensure the one-of-a-kind does not get hurt or disappear?

>>29950760
Someone wrote a green where Celestia goes full on OTT protective on Anon, but then it degenerated as the author's shitty breeding fetish came through.

>>29950972
I'm gonna breed ur waifu, faggot.

>>29950985
Bitch, I love all the alicorns.

>>29950991
Except Flurry Heart.

>>29950664
I have no idea where this is going and I want to.

>>29950664
>The replies trickle in
>"Is there supposed to be no background?"
>"Why is she afraid of a sandwich?"
>"Too much sandwich for one pony? I don't get this"
>Another detail, which you missed the first time, you notice after saving the picture. The full image includes the paw of some animal placed on the side of Fluttershy's neck
>You hurry to type a reply to anonymous
>"What's the paw from?"
>Send
>When your post goes through, you see that many new posts have already appeared, several of which reference the paw
>Waiting for anonymous' to respond again, you scroll up and expand the image again. The sandwich looks like it doesn't belong, not just because of the extreme detail, but because some of the pixels look funny
>What is anonymous hiding? You type out another message.
>"What is the sandwich hiding? It's different from the rest of the picture"
>Before you tap the send button, you hesitate- without stopping to think why, you add one more word
>"More?"
>Send

>>29950998
The babby a cute

Seeking any Cadence, Luna, or Celestia green written in the last two years or so.

I kinda stopped looking at the thread for a few years.

>>29951029
>Soon, you receive a response
>"Zigger are you serious?"
>This time, anonymous has included a similar, but clearly new image
>The unknown animal's paw is cradling the back of Fluttershy's head, as she begins eating the sandwich- or, attempts to, as the large tip of the snack enters her maw
>Her eyes aren't just conveying shock now, but worry and fear. There's just no way that thing is going to fit in whole. But why the expression? It's so...
>More ponynet users are starting to pay attention to whatever is going on. Most of the posts display confusion with many also demanding new pictures. anonymous quickly posts two new images
>The first, of another element bearer. Rarity. Like anonymous' original image, it looks incomplete. One of the weird paws is resting on her shoulder, and her mane is messy and out of shape. Her eyes are half open with one beginning to water, and both are focusing on something out of the frame- it cuts off slightly below her chest
>The next, is a shot of Princess Celestia herself. Like Fluttershy, she is accompanied by a sandwich, this one being about as large as Fluttershy's and pressed against the princess' lips. Holding firmly into her horn, another paw.
>The comments continue.
>"Somepony please explain, is this some new art fad?"
>"What the hay is up with those monkey paws!?!"

>>29950972
This was actually quite fun until the author introduced their fetish.
I suppose that's all there is that's even somewhat related. And I already have a writefaggy thing underway.

>>29951496
this is amazing

>>29951496
TOP KEK

>>29950734
>>29951029
>>29951496
MOAAR!

>>29936288
-----

>You grab the floating bag, removing the light-blue aura surrounding it.
>A quick peek inside shows a well-made scarf resting at the bottom.
"So I'm just dropping this off?"
>Rarity doesn't look up from her sewing.
>"You should do more than simply leave it at the doorstep. It reflects poorly on me if clients receive sub-par assistance."
>You grunt.
"Yea well, when your clients stop hiding under the window and actually answer the fucking--"
>Rarity's head shoots up.
"--...the STUPID DOOR, I have the strangest feeling customer support will improve tenfold."
>Dumb "no swearing in front of a lady" rule.
>She finally swivels around to face you.
>"I'm certain in due time the residents of Ponyville will warm up to you. They just need time to adjust. I know I did."
>Yessir, the ponies need a longer adjustment period than the dude dumped straight into a fairy tale.
>Not that you're completely unfazed; rather you don't shun what you don't know.
"How much time? You'd think by now everything would be kosher, yet I can count on one hand the number of ponies who talk to me. Stall owners don't count."
>"It's a delicate process, Anonymous dear."
>Rarity pauses in thought.
>"You aren't the first pony to experience these troubles. Everypony was frightened of Zecora until we learned more about her."
"Who?"
>"She's a zebra. Her home is in the Everfree Forest. Even Twilight ended up getting roped into our overblown fears of her."
>Zebras are a thing here? Who would've guessed.
"Eh, ponies learned about me too. Look at how well that worked out."
>You're referring to the town meeting held once your stay in Ponyville was confirmed.
>Twilight wanted to pacify any concerns of the public by giving a short introduction of yourself and how you weren't going to eat any of them.
>...
>Okay maybe that last part didn't happen, but you know at that time it was a serious thought.
>If anything good came out of the event, you still haven't noticed.

>>29952380
>Rarity is at a loss of what to respond with, if that look means anything.
>"...Well I... Of course..."
>You raise a hand to silence her.
"It's alright, it's not your problem. I'm going to deliver this scarf now."
>Rarity tries to say a few more words before giving up.
>"...Very well. Thank you, Anonymous."
"Of course."
>You can see the conversation had a negative effect on her mood. She's stopped humming to herself as she turns back to her work.
>Damn, your intention wasn't to put a damper on the atmosphere. This is why you keep this shit under wraps.
>You turn around, making your way to the front door.
>Just as you reach out to open it, several knocks are heard from the other side.
"I got it."
>Said to no one in particular.
>Opening the door reveals...
>Spike. A book is secured firmly at his side.
>"Hey Anon."
"Yo. How's it going? Twilight overworking herself?"
>From what you know, Book Horse has a tendency to get a little too absorbed in projects of great interest. Last time you were at the library she had a list stretching from wall to wall and then some.
>You have a feeling she might've gone through a sleepless night or two.
>"Yea, when she's not daydreaming about getting booped again."
>...You might need to wean her off of these fingers.
>"Is Rarity here? I have the book she requested."
"Yup."
>You step to the side, allowing Spike to enter.
>"Good afternoon, Rarity."
>...
>What the hell is up with his voice? Is he trying to make it sound deeper?
>"Spikey darling, what brings you here?"
>...
>'Spikey'?
>You opt not to stick around, swiftly exiting the boutique.
>Just need to drop this bag off and head back. Easy enough.
>You start making your way to the address Rarity provided.
>Unsurprisingly, ponies give you a wide berth. The ones too slow to make it look natural do their best to avoid looking at you until you pass.
>...On the plus side, you never have to worry about crowds.

>>29952392
>You do your best to ignore the stares, instead focusing on the task at hand.
>Not that there's much to do.
>Since you're a guest in Rarity's place, you felt it natural to offer a hand in her chores, whether it be work in the boutique or picking up household items.
>She tried to decline your help at first, but you also brought up everything she made for you.
>Custom-tailored shirts, pants, boxers (that was a fun discussion), the works.
>Turns out she's kinda good at making clothes.
>When you came along, dressed to the toes, it was like a dream come true for her. The chance to create for someone who regularly wears clothes and switches out for something new each /day/?!?
>You swear she orgasmed when you told her that tidbit.
>Of course all of this was after the initial commotion.
>You digress.
>Thus, Rarity had absolutely no problem with giving you clothing and shelter.
>The same couldn't be said for you.
>A man can't accept all that free shit without paying it back somehow.
>So with a little begging, you convinced her to give you odd jobs around the boutique.
>Fix this, replace that, hold this, deliver that.
>...
>Speaking of deliveries, you're here.
>Thank you random flashback.
>You reach the two-story house, knocking on the door before turning your attention to the nearby window.
>This mare is going to push aside the curtains ever so gently, spot your unamused form standing here and instantly move away from the window. Then she'll start praying to whatever deity in hopes that you leave.
>It's routine at this point.
>Sure enough, a curious face peeks from behind the window.
>Said face fills with horror when it sees you.
>Said face removes itself in a flash.
>...
>Might as well just leave the bag here and head back. Not like anyone is going to steal it.

>>29952396
>You bend down to place the bag directly in front of the door.
>It's at this moment you hear the door handle shift, and the door creeks open.
>From behind it a head cautiously pokes out, revealing a light-rose pegasus.
>She says nothing, staring at your lowered head.
>You don't want to scare her off so you remain frozen in place.
>A minute goes by.
>Is she okay?
"Are you Ms. Meadow Flower?"
>That seems to wake her up.
>She faintly nods, her light-gold mane bobbing with her.
"The scarf you sent in to Rarity has been repaired. It's in here."
>You hold out the bag.
>She stares at it for a few seconds before slowly reaching to take it with a foreleg.
>Easy now, Anon... Don't make any sudden movements.
>You're careful to avoid touching her as she grabs the straps. When the bag is securely with her you release it.
>She lets go of a strap, looking inside at the scarf.
>Ms. Flower must be satisfied because she looks back to you.
>"...Thank you."
>...
>......
>Did she just...
>Did she actually...
>...
>Say something back, you idiot!
"Yea."
>Smooth.
>Meadow Flower must have no issue with your response because she nods once before fading back behind the door, closing it with a thud.
>You straighten up.
>Holy shit, someone actually answered the door.
>Even better, they thanked you!
>You start your return trip to the boutique.
>Maybe things are beginning to turn around for you.


>You find no signs of Spike as you pass by Rarity.
>"I presume everything went swimmingly?"
"Even better. Ms. Flower actually /thanked/ me. Crazy, I know."
>You sit down on a nearby couch that's too low to the ground for your taste.
>Just like every seat in Ponyville.
>Rarity is frowning.
>"Has /nopony/ ever shown appreciation for you?"
"Until today. What, did you think I was lying about their reactions?"
>"Goodness no! I... may have thought you were exaggerating just a teensy bit, but I never expected such rudeness from ponies!"

>>29952404
>You shrug.
>Back on Earth you'd be furious at being treated like this, but having small talking horses do it only makes you feel empty inside.
>After all, /you/ are the odd one out.
>"Well, just know that there's one more mare who appreciates your work."
>Rarity brings a hoof to her chest, smiling at you.
>You can't help but return it.
"You charmer, you."
>She returns to her project, leaving you to contemplate the mysteries of the universe.
>For starters, are you even /in/ the same universe as Earth?
>An unknown period of time goes by as you let your mind wander.
>With all forms of electronic entertainment gone, you've gotten quite good at day-dreaming.
>For instance, you need to check out that Everfree Forest Rarity and Rainbow Dash mentioned. There's countless miles of terrain to explore here yet you haven't left the boundaries of Ponyville.
>Movement ahead snaps you out of your thoughts.
>Rarity has stopped sewing and has adjusted herself to face you.
>"Anonymous..."
"Hmmm?"
>She's looking at you intently. Does she want something?
>"When you left, Spike and I had a little chat. Nothing more than a polite how-do-you-do and inquiry into his and Twilight's recent activities."
"Okay..."
>Aw fuck, does she want to vent her troubles onto you? Women...
>"He mentioned something... intriguing, to say the least. Something you and Twilight only recently discovered?"
>Something you and Book Horse only recently--
>Oh.
"What, the booping?"
>Rarity fakes a small cough.
>"Err yes, the 'booping'. Such a concept sounds... well, absurd--"
>She's not wrong.
>"--but if my friends say it works, who am I to argue?"
>Looks like someone isn't a believer.
>You raise a finger ominously.
"Would you care for a sample?"
>"...Uhhh...."
>Rarity stares at your hand.
>You can see a mixture of curiosity, desire, and hesitance dancing across her face.
>You won't push it. Either she accepts or--
>"...oh what the hay. One try won't hurt."

>>29952416
>Sweet.
>Before you can get up, she's already out her seat and making her way to the couch.
>She climbs up on the soft seating, parking herself right next to you.
>"It's nothing more than a simple touch of the nose?"
>She's dubious, understandably.
"Yup. Don't move."
>Rarity stays perfectly still, only her moderate-azure eyes keeping track of your incoming finger.
>Impact in three...
>Two...
>One...
>*Boop*
>...
>/Never/ gets old.
>Similar to Twilight, Rarity's eyes widen in awe.
>"Anonymous darling, this is magnificent! I... I feel as though I could create one hundred new dress designs, each more fabulous than the last!"
>Little more contained than Book Horse but you're not surprised.
>The reaction itself is always positive; how they display that positivity changes with each pony.
>Better tell that to Twilight, assuming she hasn't already figured it out.
>Rarity laughs, her indigo mane swaying with her.
>It sounds so... /posh/, like she's a pony of the highest class.
>Then again, she does carry herself as such.
>"You have a remarkable talent! Think of all the ponies you could help, all with a single touch!"
>Not like you haven't thought about that.
"That would require ponies to trust me."
>"Who /wouldn't/ trust you after experiencing such a delightful feeling?"
"I've actually given this some thought, Rarity. I don't want 'boops noses' to be my only redeeming quality."
>"Everypony has to start somewhere, Anonymous, and I do believe you've been given quite the head start."
>...
"I'll keep that in mind."
>Rarity appears to have come down from her high. She sighs, glancing down at your hands folded neatly on your lap.
>"I was not expecting your claw to be so... delicately soft. A good thing, of course."
>Time for a shitty crash course in human anatomy.
"These aren't claws."
>You raise your hand.
"All of this leading down to my wrist--"
>You use your other hand to gesture.
"Is called a hand. These four 'claws'--"

>>29952430
>You wiggle your fingers.
"--are called fingers. Singular is finger. This short digit off to the side--"
>You give a thumbs up.
>"--is called a thumb."
>You're surprised to see Rarity this engrossed in your lesson.
>"Hand, finger, thumb. Got it."
"Yea, humans don't have claws. Instead we've been gifted the Ninety-nine Cent Store rip-off more commonly known as nails."
>You rotate your hand so the back faces her, directing her attention to the top of your fingers.
"So while we have something semi-sharp and hard to tear whatever with--"
>You flip your hand over.
"--the front side is soft."
>You reach out to lightly press against Rarity's shoulder.
"See?"
>You hope she doesn't mind the extended contact. You want her to retain this information, not go back to cloud nine.
>Her eyes are trained on your hand as it reaches her, yet she doesn't flinch when you touch her.
>Unfortunately, not even a second goes by before she gasps sharply.
>You waste no time extracting your hand.
"I... I should've asked first. Sorry."
>Just because she's one of the few ponies who gives you the time of day doesn't mean ALL boundaries go out the window, retard.
>You watch Rarity for any reaction.
>She's unmoving, staring at the spot where you touched her.
>You silently face forward, hoping she snaps out of it soon.
>...
>"Anonymous."
>She doesn't sound infuriated, at the very least.
>You begrudgingly look back at her.
"Yes?"
>She's no longer glued to her shoulder. Instead she's eyeing you with...
>Interest?
>"Could you... by any chance... do that again?"
>...
>What.
"What."
>"Your hand. It was... soothing."
>'Soothing'?
>Whatever, just oblige the lady.
"Sure."
>You reach back to Rarity's shoulder, again placing you hand flat against her coat.
>/Damn/ she is soft.
>You have to resist a near-overpowering urge to stroke her.
>This is the first time you've had extended contact with anyone outside of a handshake with Twilight, which hardly counts.

>>29952445
>Your hand has quickly gone numb from fighting to keep it still, so you flex your fingers once to breathe some life back into them.
>That sparks a reaction from Rarity.
>She tenses up, emitting another gasp.
>Acting on instinct, you remove your hand.
>"NO!"
>You flinch at the abrupt outburst.
>Evidently she wasn't expecting it either, because she hastily attempts to correct herself.
>"I mean, don't! Please, that was such a... exquisite sensation!"
>Just by touching her?
>...You must have special hands.
>Rarity shifts herself so her side isn't as close to the back of the couch.
>Third time's the charm, yes?
>Once again you find your hand pressed against her indescribably soft coat.
>She definitely likes this, but it's on a much smaller scale compared--
>"Try moving your... hand."
"What, like rubbing your shoulder?"
>"Yes yes, whatever you want to call it."
>Alright.
>You begin a small circling motion, enjoying the how her fur tickles your palm.
>Rarity already liked it before, but your hand's movement is having quite the effect on her now.
>Her eyes are closed and she's actually leaning a little into your hand.
>"Such gentleness. Have you ever worked as a masseur?"
"Nah."
>This would hardly count as a massage. It's more like...
>...
>Don't say it.
>Dash is an exception, Anon. Rarity /will/ eat you alive.
>"Would you mind servicing my back? It can become sore after a long day."
>You're no master masseur, but if she enjoys it...
"Yea, no problem."
>She wordlessly lowers herself to stretch across the remainder of the seat.
>You start on her back, only this time you perform back-and-forth motions.
>...She looks like she could melt into the couch if she tried.
>Rarity's head rests on her crossed forelegs. The best way to describe her facial expression would be one of pure bliss.
>You know you made a joke comparison between Rainbow Dash and dogs a few days ago, but seriously.
>Not that you're complaining. Are all ponies this soft?

>>29952459
>You spend the next several minutes giving Rarity a proper pet-- massage.
>At this point you think she might have actually fallen asleep. She's completely unmoving.
>You cease your movements; it only takes a few seconds to get an answer.
>Rarity's eyelids flutter open, azure eyes trying to focus.
>"Mmmm... Thank you, darling."
>She makes no effort to sit up, instead adjusting her head to face you.
>Fuck man, you want what these ponies are having.
>"I suppose it WOULD be selfish of me to expect such ministrations to last forever. Not even a spa visit has left me feeling so... relaxed."
>She sighs in contentment.
>"If only I knew of your talents sooner!"
"Shit man, /I'm/ just now learning about them!"
>A faint ear-spasm is her only reaction to your foul language.
>Yup, she's all buttered up.
>...Time to add another mark under what-in-the-fuck-is-going-on-even.
>Not only are you able to light up ponies day with a nose boop, apparently you can induce a near-coma state just by petting them.
>You're /seriously/ questioning if you didn't gain some superpowers upon arrival.
>Maybe you can shoot laser beams if you make a finger pistol?
>...
>Nope.
>Let's hope Rarity didn't see that.
>Your hands are nothing special to you, but you swear they were designed to bring pleasure to these small horses.
>Absolutely ridiculous.
>"Anonymous dear, could you do something for me?"
>You turn your attention back to her.
"What's up?"
>She sticks her nose up... literally.
>"I would take great delight in receiving another... 'boop' as you call it."
>From booping to petting and back to booping.
>You can easily sniff out a potential addict when you see one.

>>29952459
>...Holy shit, are your hands a drug to ponies?
>That would explain EVERYTHING.
>...
>That would also be INCREDIBLY fucking stupid.
>Still can't leave it out.
>"...Anonymous?"
>Oh right.
>Ah well, no harm in another one.
>Twilight's the addict, not Rarity.
"Of course."
>Up goes a finger.
>Let's add a little flair to this one.
>You twirl your finger dramatically, and...
>*Boop*
-------

Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/5gQ5hMeU

Part 3 done. Criticism needed, etc.

Because I now have a better idea of where the story is heading, I actually went back and made small adjustments to Part 1 so it lines up with current events instead of standing on its own. All that changed was a few filler sentences so Anon's inhibition to extended physical contact makes sense.

>>29952477
Love it anon. Now that i need that.

>>29952477
>Criticism needed
No it's not. Keep doing exactly what you've been. This is /fun/.
Also, check'd.

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>>29951496
>>29951029
>>29950664
>>29950633
MY SIDE! I want more details ANON!

>>29952539
As much as I wish my stories were perfect, there's always something to fix. Can't improve if no one points out your flaws.

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>>29952628
As a writer I give you props. I know too many who will take criticism as a personal insult and stop writing before thinking that maybe they should just listen instead of being little twats.

>>29951496
Go on anon.

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>>29952792
>many who will take criticism as a personal insult
God I'm so sick of those pissy butthurt babbys. Grow some fucking nuts.
I'm meh at best and know it but I love to know where I fucked up more than usual

>>29952477
I wonder what the reaction would be if he cornholed her?

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>>29953119
>nuts
I was eating nut Anon. What chu talking about?

>>29953129
deez

>>29952477

Criticism: There needs to be more

:')

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>>29952477
You gonna smell pony's belly candy anon

>>29953222
>ponies' belly buttons don't collect lint, somehow they collect candy

>>29897266

>The Wizard Garbunkle considers your offer for a moment, "Well we were supposed to meet up with our Archer friend but there's been no sign of him yet."
>"So we could definitely use the help. One thing though, where exactly is Caliban, I've never heard of it."
"That would be a matter best discussed at length later. Sufficed to say it was very far from here when it existed."
>"Mysterious lost kingdom eh? I'll have to ask Twilight about that later, for now let's get going."
>You fall in to step with your newfound comrades in arms, having to reduce your own pace severely to accommodate their shorter legs.
>As you begin to make your way further in to the cavern you come to appreciate just how massive it is. It must run beneath half of Ponyville.
>How this is the first you've heard of this place is a mystery to you, perhaps you should have read up more on local history rather than just the history of the nation.
>Your group winds its way deeper into the cavern, the dim light cast by the glowing fungi and a glow emitted by Garbunkle's staff.
>Further in the cavern gives way to a great chasm dominated by a stygian darkness.
>"The Pit of Despair." Garbunkle says in a somewhat theatrical tone as he waves his staff to indicate the chasm.
>"The Squizard will have his lair at the bottom. If we hurry we might be able to stop him before he raises any more skeletons."
>"Nope." The first thing you've heard Sir Mcbiggun say, and for having chosen but a single word it is poignant.
>You look at the Knight and follow his outstretched hoof to first of the undead slowly rising.
>Unlike the previous skeletons these are covered by carpet of fungal growths, explaining how they had previously escaped your notice, buried as they were.

>>29953969
>A small blessing is that they seem to be lightly armed, a few boasting clubs made of fractured lengths of leg bone but little else.
>Cursing yourself for your laxity you fire off a few bolts at the abominations as they rise but for every one you put down two more are beginning to animate.
"Fall back, find a way down the chasm."
>You draw your sword as you place yourself firmly in the path of the undead.
>The wizard takes up a place beside you supporting you with blasts of magic from his staff as Sir Mcbiggun fervently searches fervently for a path.
>You're doing your damnedest to suppress the horde before it gathers much strength but the undead ranks are quickly growing the monsters animating more quickly now.
>In another position they wouldn't be much threat to you, but surrounded with your back to a cliff they may be able to force you over by sheer weight of numbers.
>Carried down into the abyss in an unholy tide of ensorcelled bone is not a way you want to die.
>If it comes to it you'll throw the wizard to safety. He seems small enough for it, and someone needs to escape to warn the Princess.
>The foremost rank of skeletons has just come within reach of your sword when Sir Mcbiggun calls out "Here!"
>You decapitate a trio of undead with a sweep of your sword and glance over your shoulder to his position.
>Further along the edge of the Chasm he seems to have found a path, and is waving you and Garbunkle over.
"Go, I'll act as rear guard"
>You say nodding the Wizard ahead as you make a fighting retreat.
>You hold the line long enough for Garbunkle to regroup with his companion then give a parting slash at the skeletons before turning and sprinting away.
>The undead are blessedly slow giving you time to reach the others. As you near them you see what Sir Mcbiggun has found, and it does not look promising.
>A rope and plank bridge, built to suit someone of much smaller stature than you, that is even if it weren't half rotten with age.

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>>29953971
Greeeen.

>>29953971
"Are you certain it will hold?"
>You ask eyeing the ancient looking bridge with a healthy amount of skepticism.
>"Nope." He says shaking his head.
>At least Sir Mcbiggun is honest, you have to credit him that much.
>"Well we don't exactly have a lot of other options right now." You see the Wizard swallow nervously. "I'm the lightest, I'll go first."
>He takes a tentative step out on to the bridge, the skeleton horde is only about 20 feet distant now.
>Their forms thrown in to strange relief and casting long shadows from the glowing mushrooms clinging to their bony frames.
>Grabunkle is three fourths of the way across the bridge which is groaning ominously, you motion to Sir Mcbiggun to follow him as you lay in to the skeletons once more.
>Your lash out with your blade felling skeletons with every stroke, sending many of your fallen foes tumbling from the cliff, but it isn't enough.
>In the poor light you can only guess at their numbers but the seething carpet of bone marching towards you must contain at least two hundred individuals, possibly more.
>"Anoniaus, we're clear!" Grabunkle shouts from across the chasm.
You move for the bridge and gingerly test it with one foot but just putting part of your weight on the first plank causes it to splinter and tumble down towards the depths.
>The horde is behind you, the yawning maw of the chasm before you, with nothing else for it you sheath your sword, take two running steps and jump for the far side.
>You fly out above the seemingly depth less fall, soaring towards the other side before gravity reasserts itself and you plummet.
>You slam against the opposite cliff face 15 feet down and scrabble for a hand hold, stones breaking free beneath your fingers.
>You dig with your feet and claw desperately at the stone before finally catching a hand hold and arresting your fall, now nearly twice as far down the cliff.

>>29953979


>Sir Mcbiggun appears at the edge of the cliff above and to your left. His sword held before him in is magical grip he deftly slices through the ropes of the bridge.
>It falls away behind you, and you hear it impact against the ledge you were just on a moment before.
>With the threat of the Skeltons allayed for the moment you focus on climbing your way up the cliff.
>"You alright down there big guy?" Garbunkle asks from above. Having crawled carefully towards the edge of the cliff to peer down at you.
"I have been in worse situations. I will rejoin you shortly, be wary of another ambush until then.
>With your warning given and the others now acting as lookout you begin to feel about for hand and footholds.
>Progress up the cliff is painstakingly slow, the rocks here treacherous and prone to breaking free.
>Each new handhold requires you to slowly put your weight on it to test it.
>If only there were some metal on the cliff you could mag-lock your boots to the cursed thing and be up in seconds.
>As you lift your arm and place your hand to test the latest hand hold the cliff lurches beneath you swinging you out over the void.
>Some sort of horrible trap left for those who would dare the cliff you have no doubt.
>You grip as tightly as you can with your fingers but there's not enough stone for you to gain purchase and you slip free.
>You begin to fall your stomach twisting sickeningly as you prepare for the worst.
>Then you suddenly find yourself sitting on the floor in front of the door you had previously entered.
>The stone beneath you isn't that of the cavern but smooth and polished, and the walls are of blue stone with crystal columns.
>The cavern is no where to be seen, and Rarity is standing before you, giving you a rather amused look as you whip your head about trying to get your bearings.
>"Anon darling, I didn't expect to see you here. Did the boys ask you to join them for their game?"

>>29954001
Love seeing other Writefags work , the different in style is always fun

>>29954022
Difference rather , hate using my phone , but what can I do. I don't have an office job like some.

>>29954026
>office job
Be yourself. Everything will be fine.

>>29954001

You rise quickly dusting yourself off to preserve as much dignity as you can in this situation.
"Ah, not as such. I rather stumbled in by mistake and they were kind enough to include me."
>With the Illusion of the room dispelled you can see your companions for what they actually are.
>The Wizard seems to be some sort of reptilian child creature wearing a costume beard and hat.
>The Knight is similarly clad in clearly fake armor and now lacks the horn he had moments ago.
>"How very nice, though I had thought someone like you might be a bit busy for games." Rarity's tone is hard to read.
"Nonsense it serves as an excellent training exercise. Similar to the blood games Custodes undertook, though a great deal less dangerous."
>She blinks in surprise at that "Blood games? That sounds just dreadful darling."
>Well she's not wrong. From what you had heard those tended to have a high mortality rate for the non Custodes unfortunate enough to be in the area.
"Yes, well that is why this is a fine alternative. It is always good to rehearse any sort of scenario that might come up."
>"Garbunkle has made his way over at this point. "Hiya Rarity, done fixing Twilight's dress?"
>"Hello spike, sorry to interrupt your fun, but yes almost. I was just going to let you know that Pinkie stopped by to dropped off a few snacks if you'd like any."
>Glad to have the focus has shifted to someone else you edge by Rarity and in to the hall to pick up the bag of gems you had dropped in your rush towards battle.
>"Oh great thanks" Spike says trotting off towards the hall. As an afterthought he pauses and shouts back in to the room.
>"Hey Big Mac, Discord, you want anything?"
>Wait, did he say..
>Before you can finish the thought there's a pop of displaced air and the daemon is standing within arms reach.
>The yellow eyes with mismatched pupils and head topped with different horns. The serpentine body covered with fur, the limbs from a multitude of creatures.

>>29954026
I know what you mean. I've got warehouse work with weird hours so I don't get to update as much as I like. Getting home at like 3 in the morning with your body aching isn't the best for productivity.

>>29954048
Sadly that's all I've got time for tonight. Depending on my shift I'll try to get more out soon. Here's the updated pastebin.

https://pastebin.com/4DcZLrJe

>>29951496
>anonymous ignores the many questions, and posts another image- Pinkie Pie licking a lollipop.
>...There's nothing weird about this one
>Ponies continue asking anon to share more of his "art collection", with many catching on to the fact that they're edited and asking for the originals to be shared
>anonymous responds with another image- Applejack being slapped across the face with a sandwich
>His post simply reads "You're a naive bunch, aren't you?"
>You're about to respond, but stop yourself. Instead, you wait, and observe the next couple minutes of messages. Anon shares several new pictures and the ponies just keep posting
>Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, all the element bearers feature in the pictures. Sandwiches and the monkey paws remain recurring themes
>"why do i like this?"
>"how many of these are there?"

>>29954093
>"Please tell me what this stuff is! And could you post more Twilight?"
>You begin to type. You're convinced anonymous is messing with the board, whatever his motives are.
>"How many of these do you have?"
>...
>"Do you have any more of the princess?"
>Send
>anonymous' next post is another Fluttershy image- the paw from before is roughly grasping her mane, and the sandwich is halfway gone, making a visible bulge in her neck. The look in her eyes is one of panic
>anonymous swiftly replies to your post. "Got you covered, little guardpony :^)"
>The picture is dominated by most of Celestia's flank, cutting off just past the cutiemark. Her face is partly visible beyond it, with an awkward and embarrased expression clearly upon it.
>That's not all. There is a paw grasping the side of her flank firmly.
>What... what makes it so enthralling?
>"more princess please!", you type, before saving the picture
>Looks like you finally found a replacement for the default background
>anon shares several new images of the element bearers with ponies who requested them. You refresh the page- the counter shows the thread is now over three hundred replies long
>And that's not all. A new picture, showing Celestia like you've never seen her. Eyes heavy and staring blankly ahead. Mane dishevelled, neck craned down in surrender. And a paw set atop her head, as if to pet her like a dog. And she's covered in mayonnaise from the sandwi-
>...oh
>Your forehooves limply slide off the desk
>It finally hits you

>>29954062
And now the fun questions: Will Discord know about the Ruinous Powers or what Anon is and shit himself? Or is Equestria just so marshmallow pony that when it squirted out a Chaos god the worst it could muster was Discord? Does it even matter since they're in a completely different universe? Find out on the next episode of POOOOONIIIIIIESS IIIIIN SPAAAAAAACE!

>The response is one of chaos
>Immediately the page is flooded with replies, some typed in all capitals demanding anonymous go away, share more pictures, or calls for him to be arrested for blasphemy
>One simply reads "i am a colt and what is this?"
>The thread spirals on as anonymous simply continues wordlessly sharing dozens more pictures, totally ignoring the mountain of replies until the thread is pushed off the board and vanishes
>You swooped through the page beforehand, saving every last one of anonymous' pictures lest they be lost to you forever before refreshing the page
>Thread not found
>You sigh and decide to call it a night. Maybe anonymous will be back tomorrow- with more pictures!
>Before you can hit the power button, the auto-refresh redirects you to the board's first page. The newest thread is a repost of anonymous' Fluttershy image
>/spg/ - sandwich pictures general
>You are drawn to open the thread. Within you see several ponies sharing photographs of themselves eating absurdly large sandwiches among demands from others to see more of anonymous' art collection
>Cycling back to the front of the board, you see several more of his pictures used in original posts and more close-up photographs from random ponynet users mimicking the cropped images anonymous shared before
>You refresh again. /spg/ has already passed fifty posts and most of the first page consists of ponies reposting anonymous' pictures or sharing their own, even in unrelated threads. Among it all, one unique image sticks out to you
>It depicts a smiling amphibious being, or possibly, an alien
>The name on the post is his- anonymous
>"I improved your ponynet for you. No thanks necessary"
>By the time you open the thread, anonymous' post has been altered with a new line of text, one glowing an angry red
>(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>>29952477
Friggen awesome just read through the whole thing and starving for more

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>>29954093
>>29954096
>>29954219
Thank you anon, I really wish to know more details. I mean, where is anon?

>>29954219
>(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
MOAR ANON WHAT HAPPEN NEXT!?

>>29954630
Actual human porn to blow their little pony minds and give them fetishes they can't fulfill.

>>29954643
>Poor little pony, they don't know that monkey can handle sex god

>>29954649
I was thinking more along the lines of stallions obsessing over tits and handjobs.

>>29954659
>stallions like tits and handjobs
>mare like anal and long-sex
>mare never have dolphin sex before

>>29954219
>>29954649
>>29954663
That really a great prompts. I wish to read more about. That remind me about luna having sex with anon while record on 4chan version of pony.

>>29954219
>Little voice in my head-”You know…you probably should censor the pictures, pixiv is serious about that rule..”

>Me-”It ain’t that serious, it’s just some dicks”

>Little voice in my head-”but the dicks aren’t censored..”

>Me-”Dicks aren’t that serious”

>Hmp, guess they were

>>29954663
As long as everyone is frustrated and unsatisfied then Anon has done his job.

>>29954691
Yes he did. Its really good one, if a writer writing about how did anon get here and where did he live? I just want to read more it.

>>29954678
4pone was great. Glad to see people expanding on it.

>>29954838
I really like 4pone.

>>29954896
>>29954838
Me too

>>29954219
Moar please

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>>29954219
Does mane 6 know about this and where is anon?

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>>29954219
Fucking hilarious work.

>>29955597
The internet only exists in the Ponyville Public Library. There are only ten computers connected.

>>29955718
>didn't ask about mane 6 or where is anon

>>29954219
My sides need more

>>29955851
Sitting outside stealing library wifi with his phone.

>>29938045
>Anon doesn't have a heart!
Maybe not but I do have feelings you meanie!

>>29956165
He traded his heart for a monster cock.

>>29956076
>phone
A FUCKING PHONE!!!

>>29935978
>Whoever thought that red, yellow, and green are good colors together should have their toes amputated.

Kekked...

>>29935999

Checked...

>>29936044

And wrecked! Nice green dude, Treehugger doesn't get enough love, and it's nice to see something take the edge off of asshole Anon for a change.