she needs a story before she can sleep, /mlp/

>>29711659
Once upon a time, there was a show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It was so bad, that everyone who watched it got infected with autism.

The end.

>>29711659
Once upon a time, there was a filly that didn't want to go to sleep. So her dad beat her until she did. She slept for 30 days. And that's terrible.

Her dad wasn't allowed to visit her anymore and had to go live in a special building with other men, but he got out one day when the nice men running the building weren't looking.

So maybe you should go to sleep now, just in case he's around, so he won't have to make you go to sleep again Scootaloo?

>>29711666
10/10

>>29711659
Once upon a time,

There was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everybody died.

The end.

>>29711666
nice story satan

>>29711659
here you go you little shit
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1888/

>>29711659
Right, a story. How about I just toss back another drink and climb into be with you. No >rape I promise. The drunk man clinging to you in his sleep with the smell of alcohol on his breath will probably remind you of your father anyway. That's reassuring, right?

>>29711659
I'd just spike her tea with vodka.
It's like you guys have never babysat before.

>>29711659
One day, two friends decided to go digging for diamonds.
After a long day of digging, one friend came up with a lot of diamonds!
"Some aren't so great, but there are some that are just wonderful!" he said.
Then the second friend came up with an enormous diamond.
"It took a long time to get this one out, but it is a beautiful diamond!" he said.
The two agreed that, though their methods were different, each of their finds was amazing in its own special way.

Then, because the two spent so long in the mines, they got diamond poisoning.
It set on fast, but each of their deaths would be excruciatingly painful and drawn out. The only thing they could do, helpless on the ground, was watch each other as they suffered the same fate. The two pondered their selfish acts and wasted lives as they both writhed on the ground. Alone. Together.

Days later, they finally died.

They died.

The end.

GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

>>29711659
Ugly duck was so ugly everybody died etc.

>Granny Smith trots to the glue factory.
>Be Granny Smith
>Be no more.

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>>29711659
You want a story, huh?

Alright then...

I'd like to start by saying that the GM was a bastard that had it coming...

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>>29711659

>>29711659

A man was born, he suffered, and he died.

Story of us all, really.

No you lazy fuck it's still morning get outta bed

>>29711659
There was a hunter in the woods, who, after a long day hunting, was in the middle of an immense forest. It was getting dark, and having lost his bearings, he decided to head in one direction until he was clear of the increasingly oppressive foliage. After what seemed like hours, he came across a cabin in a small clearing. Realizing how dark it had grown, he decided to see if he could stay there for the night. He approached, and found the door ajar. Nobody was inside. The hunter flopped down on the single bed, deciding to explain himself to the owner in the morning.

As he looked around the inside of the cabin, he was surprised to see the walls adorned by several portraits, all painted in incredible detail. Without exception, they appeared to be staring down at him, their features twisted into looks of hatred and malice. Staring back, he grew increasingly uncomfortable. Making a concerted effort to ignore the many hateful faces, he turned to face the wall, and exhausted, he fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning, the hunter awoke—he turned, blinking in unexpected sunlight. Looking up, he discovered that the cabin had no portraits, only windows.

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>>29711659
I've got a bedtime story for you.

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>>29711666

>>29711659
Once there was a little pegasus who loved to fly. Her wings were so nice and perfect that she could fly anywhere in any weather. As she would fly around, she would look down at all the earth ponies, unicorns, and younger pegasi who couldn't fly and think to herself, "Boy, I sure am glad I can fly. I couldn't imagine how soul crushing it would feel to be a winged creature who couldn't fly!"

And she flew happily through the rest of her life without a care in the world, happy she'd never know what it felt like to not be able to fly.

The end, go to sleep, Scoots.

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>>29711659

... and the last thought that went through his mind as his head rolled over the floor was

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

sleep well little tendie

>>29711659
Did you tell her the one about pinkie pie the cuckquean?

THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A PONE WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PONES WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE BATPONES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A FOAL AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY MOLESTIA DECIDED SHE WOULD SEND HIM TO THE MOON SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE PONE WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A FILLY IF YOU ARE A FILLY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED.