Equestria without Anon thread

>>29700333
checked.

hes popular because he allows writers to not only insert a human into their world, but hes a blank slate to create whatever personality you want for. without a blank slate youre left with per-determined characters.

>>29700338
That and MLP fanfiction writers are shit at giving their characters names.

They're always girly, shitty names like "Ryan", "Luke", "David" or "Scott", and you just know it's the writer's actual name half the time.

>>29700366
Checked, but why is that a problem? Those are common English names. Even if it is their real name, there can be more than one Ryan, even on the same street.

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>>29700333
>I hate Anon
>Everything after s2 sucks
>If you see me making more threads please alert my handler

>>29700580
Anon I like stuff after season 2. Season 5 was my favorite season.

I just come here to read about ponies, not a green-skinned human.

>Be Twilight Sparkle in a green thread
>Don't know what to do with myself because my setting is incohesive, I'm a princess now, and I live in a crystal palace in the center of butt-fuck nowhere.
>Take a vacation from the responsibilities I don't have to visit pony Vegas, where they have an arcade.
>Charge arcade credits to my arcade card. Yes, of course we have those, the setting is incohesive.
>Call Rarity and see what she's doing.
>"Running three boutiques, darling!"
>Say yeah, bitch, but are you doing anything?
>"Actually, no. Running these boutiques don't require any of my time, so I'm doing nothing. Are we having an adventure?"
>Invite Rarity to come out and be 2nd player in Street Fighter. It's just straight up Street Fighter. Not pony Street Fighter or anything. I played it a bit when I was a human in high school.
>Decide to call Rainbow Dash, ask her what she's doing.
>"I'm a Wonderbolt! Duh!"
>Say I know, but I mean what are you doing.
>"Oh. Nothing. Sleeping like always."
>Invite Dash out for drinks. She says she'll be here soon.
>Rarity arrives on a personal leer jet made out of cookies. I forget for a minute that my setting is a jarbled mess and ask where she found a leer jet.
>"It's fine, darling, it's made of cookies!"
>Shrug. It doesn't fucking matter anymore.
>Check 4chan on my pony mobile phone. I had a phone when I was a high school student. Anons are wondering why we don't write greens about the pony universe anymore.
>Sigh. Put away my phone. Go out to dinner at a franchise chain that sells hay burgers.

>>29700802
10/season 10

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>>29700820
That was funny until I realized that this is our future.
Now I'm scared.

>>29700802
I'll never accept any kind of modern technology in Equestria. Any and all such references in the show are Pinkie's-Helicopter-tier non-canon gag items, and anyone claiming otherwise is an idiot.

>literal safe space
TOP KEK

>>29700366
>Scott
>girly
Dukes up, you little bitch.

>>29700857
also Nyx

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>Be Fluttershy.
>Wake up in the morning next to Discord
>Didn't sleep with him. He's just here sometimes. We actually have nothing in common.
>We have tea, and then he fucks off into the ether for another twenty episodes.
>I think about asking him what he does when he's not my bitch, but then decide against it. Maybe the least predictable thing a god of chaos could do is "nothing".
>Decide to go out and buy some apples. Starlight Glimmer is here. Also a reformed villain.
>Say hi. Ask what she's up to.
>"Working on a friendship report," she replies.
>Come to next Thursday covered in honey. My head is shaved and I have a tattoo of a bull having missionary sex with a bear.
>Glimmer starts apologizing profusely, saying something about friendship reports and learning a lesson and Twilight Sparkle.
>Tell her she's doing great and she's come a long way! Besides, this is a really neat tattoo and I can't wait to hang out again.
>Go home. Find Tirek watering my begonias.
>Ask him what he's doing here.
>"Oh, I reformed off screen," he explains, "Now I only suck magic out of ponies once every twenty to forty episodes, when we can learn a lesson from it."
>Sigh. Go inside to get some ice cream. Instead find Discord in my freezer running a miniature ice cream stand. Apparently this is what he does when he's not my bitch. He explains that business tends to be pretty slow.
>Order a scoop of ice cream, then lay down because I have a headache.

>>29701197
scotty doesnt know ^:)

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>>29701551
MI SCUSI, MI SCUSI

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>>29701197
>thread with a topic
>"""""safe space"""""

Uhhh........

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>Be Applejack
>For all these seasons I have been the North Star
>Well, almost. Somehow I forgot a lot about farming. A wooden fence broke yesterday and I spent four hours weaving a basket to patch the hole.
>Twilight came out and explained to me that I was doing it wrong. I should fix a wooden fence with wood!
>I knew this. I don't know why I forgot. I worry that I forgot but I'm too nervous to admit what happened so I tell Twilight I've been doing it that way for years and I appreciate her help.
>Speaking of Twilight, her castle blocks the sun during certain parts of the day and casts a long shadow over the whole farm. I worry about that, but it doesn't seem to matter.
>In fact I spend a lot of time away from the farm and nothing bad ever seems to happen.
>Decide to test it out. Take a vacation out to Apaloosa and spend some time with my cousin, just catching up.
>Get back a month later. Nothing has changed. Mac had no trouble by himself. Ran the entire farm alone.
>Suddenly, some kind of magical earthworm attacks the farm!
>Resolve it with the help of friends in twenty minutes.
>Decide I won't do any work on the farm now, to see what happens. Convince Mac and Granny not to work either.
>A month passes. Everything is fine.
>Two months. No changes.
>Three, four, six. Harvest time comes, and the harvest is exactly the same as it was last year.
>I get called away to Crystal Kingdom for some kind of magical apocalypse scenario.
>Come back and apples are all harvested. Mac didn't do it, Applebloom didn't do it, Granny didn't do it. Nobody knows what happens.
>Begin to worry the farm has come to life and is draining our minds away to work itself.
>Can't prove it to anyone.
>All I do is wait here on the farm, doing nothing, and I worry. Good lord.

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>Be Rainbow Dash
>Finally achieved life-long dream! Made it into the Wonderbolts!
>They never call me into practice. The other ponies work on their routine from sun up to sun down, but I never go in. They never ask me to go in.
>They do ask me to perform in shows, though. I never know the routines. I didn't practice any. They say it's fine.
>Get upset. Decide that if they don't care, then I'll do my own routine!
>My changes backfire. I cause two ponies to collide in mid air. One pony breaks a neck and will never walk again.
>Spitfire tells me it happens to the best of us. She puts me on probation and makes me clean the stands again.
>Feel guilty, so I blow off probation. Go to see the Wonderbolt in the hospital. He tells me it's fine because I'm so cool.
>Don't know how to feel. It wasn't cool. I don't know what I did to earn that respect.
>Worried, I forget I'm supposed to be cleaning.
>Nobody says anything. Nobody cares.
>The injury gets in the news. Sports casters forgive me, saying the others must not have practiced enough to keep up with the Element of Loyalty.
>Don't understand. Watching the replay, I was all over the place. It was clearly my fault.
>Don't feel cool. Don't feel cool at all.
>Next day, pony comes by and asks me to sign like a hundred autographs. Everyone still loves me. Kids look up to me. Want to be like me.
>They say I'm the coolest.
>Find out the other pony in the accident broke his wing. He'll fly again, but now he's slow. Used to be the fastest Wonderbolt on the team after me.
>He says it's cool.
>Wonderbolts start to practice again. Twilight tells me I need to go to the Crystal Kingdom.
>Wonderbolts say it's cool.
>We go to the Crystal Kingdom. Shining Armor tells us a lot of information about an apocalypse scenario. Starlight Glimmer resolves it. The whole thing was... boring. Barely remember any of it.
>Another show comes up. They want me in it again.
>Scared. Say I can't. They say it's cool. I'm still a Wonderbolt.

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>Be Rarity
>Running three boutiques now. Each one a smash hit
>Not finding myself stretched thin at all. Have plenty of time for everything except on very, very specific occasions
>With plenty of free time and all this money, decide to open a fourth boutique in Trottingham!
>Instant smash hit! Another success!
>Still not stretched thin. Decide to open another boutique in Las Pegasus.
>Smash hit! Rarity is unstoppable
>Still not too busy.
>Begin to realize how busy I'm not, which is strange. I always strive to be busy.
>Design new clothes and send them out. They all do well. Everyone loves every design.
>Feel happy, but perplexed. Realize that I don't understand my success. Art is subjective but... a master must know something of what makes her work special.
>Start trying different things. Different types of stones, different patterns. Each dress is equally successful. I can't discern any meaning behind it.
>Languish.
>Is it my brand? My name that sells now? Has the quality of my work lost meaning?
>Don't release new dresses for weeks. Profits remain exactly the same.
>Peculiar.
>Decide to open another small boutique in Ponyville.
>Smash hit. Like all the others.
>Baffled.
>Boutique opens in Apaloosa. Smash hit.
>I'm not even designing dresses anymore.
>Called away to Crystal Empire for apocalypse scenario. Resolved by Starlight Glimmer - harrowing but inconsequential. Find time to open a boutique in the Crystal Empire.
>Smash hit.
>Languish again.
>Nothing matters. There is no measure of my quality.
>As I waste away, doing nothing, I become the wealthiest pony in Ponyville.
>How can achieving a dream feel... so much like a dream?

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>Be Pinkie pie!
>Throw a party!
>Party is great! Best day ever!
>Throw a party!
>Party is awesome! Best day ever!
>Throw a party!
>Everyone loves party! Best day ever!

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>>29701042
>I don't like this thing so it's not true!
(You)

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>>29701683

That one really got to me... Ouch...

>>29700802
>>29701543
>>29701596
>>29701683
>>29701749
>>29701769
magnifique

>>29701828
Suddenly we are in an existential horror thread. Possibly even a lotus eater dream. I imagine they are still in a cocoon.

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Some of these are really funny, but writing them in a thread whose purpose was to have greens without Anon is like saying "they're boring, it's pointless to write them without my OC".

Which was exactly what Haber thought when he became story editor. Even if you're just joking, and at least these are funny, it's still kinda heartbreaking to think that he was serious.

>>29701873
He was right.
That's literally what poochie exists for in ANY story, artificially extending the life of something that should have died respectfully.

>>29701873
It's not that greens are boring without anon. It's that the show is ruined. Adding anon to the setting is a way of adding something new and novel to the setting while still enjoying its original roots.

What is there to say about ponies who achieve everything and do everything? The world around them is inconsequential to their greatness. All of Equestria has come to revolve around the mane six. Consequently, there are no more challenges in their life that matter. The death of the kingdom is merely the death of a petty little dream world that can't exist without them anyway.

People may not always understand this on a logical level, but they feel it on an emotional level. Spike became the king of dragons, anon. What mountain is left to climb? What's left to explore?

This isn't when Alexander realized he'd conquered all the lands and had no more to conquer. This is when Alexander realized the world had been made for him to conquer, and there was no point in even going outside because it would have conquered itself for him even if he'd stayed at home.

>>29702009
I want this to be the motivation for the final villain, and I want their victory to be the series finale.
An in-universe deconstruction of the show as it's death.

>>29702009
>anon
>new and novel

So many thousands upon thousands of words of AiE have been written he's become formulaic. As ironic as it is, even such a unique trait as a human in Equestria has become overused and generic.

When was the last time you read a new and novel Anon story? Be honest here. How many years ago?

>>29702093
Quite a while, admittedly, but I assume it must be new to new people.

Prompts, anyone?

>>29701769
>>29701749
>>29701683
>>29701596
>>29701543
>>29700802

These are great, nice job Anon.

>>29702795
Pinkie has to throw a party for fancy ponies that don't like her usual parties.

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>>29700802
>>29701543
>>29701596
>>29701683
>>29701749
>>29701769
>>29702940

Screencapped them just for the heck of it.

>Ahmed in Equestria

>>29702795
A main 6 of your choice, other than Applejack since this concept is a bit close to Applebuck Season, gets sick and the others notice, but can't convince the sick one to stop working on the important thing they're working on.
They have to convince her that she's too sick to work before she ruins all the progress she made before she was sick.

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I've been writing a story in Spanish
>You are a changeling. You are a professional assassin. You must kill war veteran Spitfire. It won't be an easy mission, as you're not sure who she really is...

Does that count?

>>29702009

If this is what you genuinely believe, I do feel sorry for you. Even if what you said was true regarding the mane6 (which it isn't), you'd have to be seriously creatively stunted to not see the vast landscape of countless possibilities to explore before you.
Scootaloo still isn't flying and her "big sis" is borderline pushing her around and borderline taking advantage of her at times. Luna is still neglected by everyone and everything and Celestia hasn't as far as we know even apologized for what she did 1000 years ago, the CMC is growing up and part of that is growing apart, how will for example Apple Bloom balance her family and her old friends with new ones she'll undoubtedly meet?

>>29706719
>how will for example Apple Bloom balance her family and her old friends with new ones she'll undoubtedly meet?
In a supremely disappointing way, which is inevitable when your writers are getting two pages of requested changes to their script from everyone in middle management.