Magicless Anonymous #5: Anonlich edition

I love the smell of a fresh general in the morning.

Just let it die, holy shit.
Things die, you can't keep them move their corpses around like puppets forever.

>>29620603
>updates almost every day
>dead
pick one

>>29620523
This is still going on?

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>>29620603
we have two writefags right now, I think.
like >>29620619 says, depending on when they drop updates we aren't going more than a day or two without them each time. If you wanna bitch at a thread, go bitch at one of the umpteen generals that could all be lumped together but refuse because "muh technicality".

>>29620603
Sounds like you're just jealous you can't do magic.

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>>29611789
>>29616814
>>29616837
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQE9H4nT1SI
>"You already know my reputation, I am Dr. Anonymous; the greatest magicless scientist who ever lived, and I want thirty-three and a third billion bits for my anti-magic cannonball project."
>"If you don't fund my project, I'll use your TOWN as research and that will make the people... magicless..."

>"What's the good of having all the money in the world if it doesn't give me any magic? And if I'm not magical, no one deserves to be magical!"

>"Rover! Who is that!? You didn't /miss/ one did you?"
>"You MISSED ONE! There's a magical pony!"
>"...Well if there's one magical pony, there's more than one. And this time I expect you to get them... ALL."

>The magic of friendship is the only anomaly Anon couldn't factor in, nor understand, it's not even true magic.
>Gets his tower besieged by the magicless mane six working together through the power of friendship™.
>Everything's still fucked anyway.

>>29620802
>you're just jealous you can't do magic
aren't we all

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>>29621068
I got meme magic, son.

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>>29621100
Checked
Praise Kek!

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>>29621068

>>29621100
Yeah, at least we have that. Wish we could do more and learn how to create and throw fireballs n shit.

>>29621100
Dumb egyptianposter

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>>29621122
dumb dumbposter, but not dumb dumbs

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>>29621100
I should write a fic where anon is a prophet of Kek and is sent by our Lord and savior to spread his word to the ponies of Equestria.

>>29621126
How should he praise Kek in a place without internet?
Create it

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>>29621146
>implying memes didn't exist before the internet

They were just harder to spread was all.

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>>29621100
>"I got meme magic, son"
>Anon said to you and the girls.
>Confusing you since he has no son that you know of and he certainly addressed you with that statement.
"Meme magic? Please, Anon, this is serious."
>He gets this maniacal glint in his eye.
>He reaches to his pocket and produces dice.
>He then adopts an innocent manner as he says:
>"If dubs then everything will be fine."
>He throws the dice on the ground and watches with utmost attention, like a primitive huddling towards a fire.
>You glance at the dice.
>2 2.
>22
>"Check 'em!"
"Yes, very nice Anon, but we really need to-"
>"Princess, Princess! It seems the problem as been solved!" A courier pony comes to you out of breath.
>What?
>"It seems the minotaurs have solved their donkey issue by building a wall and inciting mass deportation of the illegals!"
>Wait, no! That isn't the way! We all need to embrace everyone as friends!
>"Ahah! PRAISE KEK!" Anon celebrates.
>Did he...
>No, he has no magic!
>"Alright everything turned out perfectly,"
>No nothing's perfect in that situation!
>"lets all go out for some pizza!"
>The human walks away humming a strange tune in-between singing "Shadilay"

>>29621126
Bateman, the true God, knew that to spread his message, he would need to work under a new name that the masses would accept into their hearts. That's why he made and gave us Kek, a lesser diety whose purpose is to extend Bateman's message to the normies and indoctrinate them into Getianity.

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>>29621146
>>29621158

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>>29621186
Top Kek

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>>29621186
The numbers mason

>>29621126
>anon is magicless
>invasion of equestria happens
>changelings or griffons or Sombra or some shit
>cue the thread prompt
>anon is like "k"
>lazes around all day doing nothing to help with the war effort
>just spreads gossip and yells stuff
"You degenerate cucks, don't trust what the media says! Research for yourself, you indoctrinated tards! Do you know who's funding them? That's right, the Bluebloods have glaring financial links to every part of their war effort! And that's what they don't want you to know, that's what everyone's ignoring - because you know who owns the newspapers? The same kikes! You just have to open your eyes and look, you fucking mudpony niggers!"
>sometimes he rolls a set of dice while yelling
"I'm telling you, the siege of Baltimare is going to collapse soon - the are doing their best to hide it but there's no way they can keep up their army's morale with supply lines like that; just wait and watch for the rout! The Kikeblood owned newspapers aren't reporting on that, because they want to destroy the Equestrian morale - but I'm telling you, there's gonna be the biggest happening tomorrow!"
>2-4-3-3-3-3-3 rolls
"Quints! HAPPENING!! Get in here lads!"
>"Shut the fuck up anonymous, we're actually trying to work and help the ones fighting at the front! We get that you have no magic, but you could at least not yell in the middle of the town while we, who do have magic, are trying to work!"
>next day
>"BREAKING: Baltimare siege lifted, enemy retreating in disarray"

writefags pls
I want to read something like this now

>>29620740
>"muh technicality"
This thread counts as one of those, though.
It's AiE with a focus on a magicless Anon.
Which is odd considering how, more often than not, most AiE stories feature a magicless anon.

>>29621320
AiE-fags can bring their stories here.

>>29620740
>create a catch-all general for niche ideas
>nobody uses it and every thread continues being a bump general
Feels bad man.

>>29621354
If you're talking about the niche fetish general, that's because it was for fetishes.

Last I checked most people aren't getting off to anon being frustrated by a lack of magic, or any other of the generals around.

Also if a general is able to stay alive for multiple threads with content flowing in, I don't think it counts as niche, at least not yet.

>>29620824
Would watch/10

>>29621373
>If you're talking about the niche fetish general, that's because it was for fetishes
Should read the OP sometime.

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>>29621320
They have no focus on "magicless" part though.
>>29621212
>anon arrives before the show
>starts writing like this on every wall
>rolls dices and assigns post numbers to every one
>ponies force him to stop
>now he is doing it at night
>then comes the day of 1000's Summer Sun Celebration
>night at noon
>anon starts "posting" ITS HAPPENING everywhere while everybody is in panic
>eventually manages to post "Celestia wins" with 88888888 get exactly at sunrise
>Ponyville attributes victory over N.M. to him
>starts posting general information from the show with sporadical gets
>eventually grows his followership enough to create powerful egregores
>que Equestria and ponies being magical and all he manages to actually summon Kek
>now there are two Chaos Gods in Equestria

>>29621546
>"Anon, you can't use magic!"
>Twilight, I have acquired meme magic from Lord Kek, which is far more powerful than anything you conceive, for it is the ability to alter the course of history itself.
>Impossible battles can be won, no matter how stacked the odds may seem.
>Every great leader in the human world throughout history had worshiped Kek at some point, it was only when they stopped believing in him that their influence over the world begin to wane.
>Meme magic reflects the strength of a person's will to influence events, to influence society, and to influence the world.
>"That sounds like a load of nonsense to me, anon!"
>Very well then, I challenge you to a magical duel tomorrow. If I win, you must acknowledge the power of Lord Kek and worship him instead of Celestia.

(sorry can't write more gotta take a test)

>>29621832
Ok this is fantastic, please come back after your test

>>29621320
Ironically both writefag's stories aren't currently focusing on being magicless

If dubs, Sea Urchin or MSG will post green within next 24 hours
If trips, both of them will

>>29621933
hot damn

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>>29621832
>somebody expanded on my promt
I'm honored. Please continue.

>>29621933
I implore kek to summon Sea Urchin

>>29621956
Didn't I already say I'd update today? No summonings required.

>>29621978
Well good because my singles had me worried there

Also you're probably gonna update at some ungodly hour like you always do once I'm already asleep

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>>29617671
>More green coming tomorrow.
tomorrow when?

>>29622000
Tomorrow today.

>>29622000
Check'd

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>>29622000
ZOOMED WORDS

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>>29622078
It's just trips you nigger
Calm your zoom

>>29621125
dumb sanicposter

>>29621978
Looks like I don't have to post tonight

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>>29622172

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>>29622172
U r fgt!

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>>29621186
PRAISE

>>29621978
>Sea Urchin will update today
I wonder what will happen next.
It looks like Twilight will report Anon for sure.
What will Celestia do after getting that letter?
Imprison him? Banish him to Tartarus? Erase runes from his body and wipe his memories? Rape?

>>29622453
>"Now Anonymous, you're Twilight's friend so I'm going to let you choose your punishment. We have imprisonment, banishment, rape, lobotomy--"
"Rape?"
>"Rape it is, then."
"No, that wasn't--"
>But she was already strapping on her plastic marecock.

>>29622453
>Erase runes from his body and wipe his memories
I'm not sure that would accomplish anything but making him even worse. When he came to the ponies, Twi especially, would be walking on eggshells around him, which would likely kindle his hatred to even greater degrees. Plus even with the runes gone he still has all his notes, and his souls is still in that photo.

>>29620523
These OP pics are always on point. You're no fag, OP.

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Show ponies who's boss

>>29622500
Dubs of truth

>>29622000
ZOOM MY FUCKING WORDS

>>29622467
Keked/10

>>29622648
no

>>29617671

>At that moment, your friends decide they want their voices heard as well.
>The scene becomes a little more busy as Rarity and Applejack approach, followed by Rainbow Dash dropping in from the sky.
>”Darling, are you...quite alright?”
>”I dun didn’t e’re thaink thayt yew’d be a feller fer tahtoos.”
“They aren’t tattoos, Applejack.”
>”They kind of are,” he admits. “Aren’t they cool?”
>”I must say it’s a rather jarring change to your usual look. But it doesn’t look bad,” Rarity squeaks out, forcing an uneasy smile.
>”They’re awesome! What even are they?”
>Rainbow Dash grabs one of his arms and lifts it up to her eyes for closer examination.
“Rainbow, don’t touch those!”
>”Jeez, what’s the deal, Twi?”
>”Ah’m gon’ admiddit, ah’m maghty curious hwut’s that jazz on yer ahrm too.”
>“Runes,” he replies proudly.
>Rainbow’s poking ceases immediately.
>She lets go of his arm and hovers back.
>Rarity too, retreats at that word.
>Applejack only scratches her head and kicks some dirt.
>”Ah shoot, ah dun fergot hwut a rune was. Twahlaght, isn’at summin’ that’chu yew-nee-corns use to make spells ‘er summin’?”
>”Well, actually, they’re instructions for how to cast spells. You see, runes don’t actually hold any magical power in themselves. It’s when magic has been applied to them and bind them to an object that they begin to absorb power and thus stop being merely instructions, but also the spell itself.”
>”Hwut in tarnation ahr yew goin’ on about?”
>”Hey, so, you know, I have to go do some practicing for the Wonderbolts so like, bye.”
>With that, Dash speeds off, leaving a rainbow trail behind her.

>>29623560

>”Darling, do tell me those are merely the result of a drunken night out and a marker. You didn’t really go and bind yourself, did you?”
>”Let me ask you a better question, Rarity. If I didn’t, where did that magic missile come from?”
>”That is quite a good point. Oh, would you look at the time? I have to go help Sweetie Bell with her next play. She’s the lead, you know. What a star. Anyway, ta ta!”
>The white mare gallops away, caring not for the dirt covering her once pristine hooves, nor the snow that turns it to mud when she leaves this warm, tropical hotspot.
>”Wayll ah say, that’s maghty fahn fer yew, Anon. Ah’m happy that’chu fahnally got yer magic. Shoot, mahybe we kin go hog rastlin’ some tahm.”
“Applejack, do you even know what spell binding is?”
>”O’course ah do. It dun gives yew magic, oubviously.”
“Blackmane.”
>”Oh uh, ah fergot thahre’s summin’ at the farm ah gotta do today. Ah’ll uh, ah’ll see yew folks later. Bah now.”
>”Oh come on! What’s wrong with you people? This is great news! Be happier!”
“Anon, I think you should go home and rest for a bit.”
>So that you can write your letter to Celestia and have her come sort this out.
>”Rest? Why should I rest? I need to get ready for the parade. Your friends might not see my greatness, but Ponyville does. Right?”
>He looks around, hoping to see smiling pastel faces peeking out from behind the rubble.
>Instead, there’s nothing.
>The warmth begins to fade, letting the cold seep back into the melted area.
>”Come on, guys. I saved the day. For real this time.”
>All's quiet on the western front.
>”Guys?”
>Not one pony pops out of the woodwork to support him.
“I think you need a rest.”

>>29623570

That's all I can manage tonight. Yeah, I know it's a tiny little bitty bit, but you know, everything's relative. I'd say what I've managed in these last 3 consecutive days adds up to one large update on one day. When you look at it like that, I'm the good guy again. But hey, if you're looking for more green because you're new to the story or you're a return dear reader and want to go through it all again, I'll drop this fully updated pastebin for you. Go on, take it http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

>>29623560
>>29623570
RIP Anon. Go full lich now, mmkay?

Great work as usual, Urchin.

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>>29623570
>everyone else fucks off immediately
>AJ invites him to go wrestle pigs

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>>29623570
Welp Anon is gonna go full bitch mode again

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>>29623777
SHADILAY

>>29623570
He's got a large ego, this Anon, needing to be the center of attention.
Seems like Runes were banned like if Hitler dropped an Atom bomb but lost the war and so Atom research was banned.

>>29623560
>Dash speeds off, leaving a rainbow trail behind her.
That's not how Loyalty works.

>>29624771
Who said they were friends? Hard to be an actual friend to a little bitch.

>>29624857
I think they were referring to abandoning the other ponies as well.

>>29624857
>Hard to be an actual friend to a little bitch.
True, but friendship between RD and Twilight is canon

>>29620523
I love how despite this general being a pretty shitty handtheponerstheidiotball premise, you guys always have a charming sense of humor about it with every depiction of anon being a fucking tool

>>29624997
To be honest, I'm kinda sick of anon being a little shit. I want one to learn magic legitimately, and to not be a fucking cunt to everyone. It'd be nice to have a somewhat more lighthearted story. One where the threat is external rather than internal, if there even is a real threat. Everyone being an idiot, ignorant, socially oblivious, or just a dick gets tired at some point.

>>29625208
This.
The current Anon sounds more fervent about how awesome he is than about convincing them he's okay/not crazy, with the
>I am the next page
and the
>I have already jumped off the cliff
etc.
Both sides suck. Celestia/etc are likely fearful/etc and hidebound by 'tradition', Anon is a self-centered jackoff who seems more interested in showing off and getting revenge than being productive.

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>>29623570
>I have to go help Sweetie Bell
>Bell
lol, at least I'm not the only one who made that mistake
>>29625262
>Anon is a self-centered jackoff who seems more interested in showing off and getting revenge than being productive.
Isn't that like, 80% of everyone who made history with their inventions/findings?

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>>29621100
>>29621126
>>29621186
>>29621313
>>29621546
>>29621832

>>29625321
Nah. Most inventors do so as a means of advancing society or bettering the lives of humans. Most smart people are altruistic, but the bastards tend to accrue more societal influence and power. See: Tesla and Edison.

>>29625208
Then write it yourself, urchin has an awesome story. Beggars can't be choosers.
>>29625262
>showing off and getting revenge
Mate, if I did something so muntedly crazy I would want a little credit, and at what point did he ever want revenge? Fitting in with society is not seeking revenge.

>>29625262
>showing off
I'm not sure I get you with this one. He's looking around for approval because he got praise before for killing the Manticore. The Mane 6 are showered with praise whenever they defeat some dangerous-foe, now that anon has raised himself to the level where he too can do that, why shouldn't he be worthy of the same praise they are? At least that's how I imagine his line of thought. He didn't kill the Hydra because he wanted to, he himself has said he wants to wait a while before showing off his sick runic tats to the pones.

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>mfw all this story discussion

Don't see that to often on /mlp/

>>29625462
He used war-crime tier shit, though. It's like dropping a fuckload of anthrax or mustard gas on a city that you're at war with and then being shocked when people think you went too far. You solved the problem, didn't you?

>>29625534
In Anons defence he has no idea why they're banned (and neither does the reader, really). "They're ebil and bad and u shouldn't use them ever" is about all he's gotten. If you landed in another world, broke your leg and then as you're looking up stuff to help fix your leg you find out crutches are banned because "they just are", you'd probably not understand what the big deal was either.

>>29625526
90% of this board is bump generals with topics that only produce 1 or 2 types of story, over and over again, this topic at the very least can be taken in a myriad of different ways easily, plus it's a prompt I don't think I've ever seen be done specifically before, even though a lot of AiE has Anon implied to be non-magical.

>>29625526
I know, right? It's surprising that we're reaching 100 posts without a single "bump".
And some faggots dare to call this general dead.

>>29625565
They aren't crutches. They're ancient magic that has been banned by the benevolent and multi-millennially aged literal god of light and goodness. A better analagy would be killing someone and using their bones to construct a crutch without ever asking for help making one or speaking to the benevolent god-ruler about getting a pair.

I'm just here for the OP pic.
>>29625262
>I am the next page
Then it's treason.

>>29625565
Anon knows that they're banned for being bad, that everything he's doing is bad, and that some ponies would react poorly. He waited so long to share his new powers because he wanted to be strong enough to fight off opposition in case anyone got violent. The issue here is that now that he's actually shown himself and done something he understands to be good, he's hoping for some amount of praise like the Mane 6 do. Have you ever done something you knew was bad but then we're happy about because something good came out of it? It's like that. He knew that some ponies would be upset, but with this victory under his belt, he thinks that good should outweigh the bad. He wants love. Instead it's not just some ponies that are afraid, but all of them.

>>29625262
He can be a somebody now, he has his ticket to ride, I would go crazy too to be a part of the in club. Anon wants his moment and no one will give it to him. He has tight to feel vengeful.

>>29625593
But he was never given a legitament reason as to why. Because one cunt fucked around with it for evil purposes it was labelled black magic?.. Nigga that's bullshit. Banning something which could potentially be useful in practice is not a way to go, this anon cunt could literally revolutionise runic magic as a test subject.

>>29625734
He never asked Celestial why. You usually have to ask someone who knows the answer in order to learn the answer.

>>29625593
Just because someone is old and powerful doesn't make them right. Bitch has made mistakes in the show before this runic ban could be another one of her mistakes.

>>29625741
Yeah that is true, runes could corrupt the user... But the problem is celestial has never officially used runes, only black mane who was already evil (most likely.) so how would she know the effects unless she has used it before. What we have been presented is only black mane used the runes so only anon will know the true effects it has on the user.

>>29623570
>Ah’m happy that’chu fahnally got yer magic. Shoot, mahybe we kin go hog rastlin’ some tahm.”
>“Applejack, do you even know what spell binding is?”
>>”O’course ah do. It dun gives yew magic, oubviously.”
>“Blackmane.”
>>”Oh uh, ah fergot thahre’s summin’ at the farm ah gotta do today.
How AJ reacted doesn't fit well with hypothesis that "using runes is banned and evil".
It's more like Celestia forbid ponies only from "following Blackmanes steps" and some ponies are over-interpreting that.
If that's the case, then Anon could get out of this with a slap on his wrist.


>>29624771
Loyalty wouldn't abandon her friends - she was simply smart enough to realize that mane 6 can't deal with this on their own. She's flying to Canterlot to inform Celestia while Twilight is stalling for more time.
It's the only explanation in which RD could run away and stay loyal at the same time.

>>29623560
>Rarity and Applejack approach, followed by Rainbow Dash
I wonder how Pinkie and Fluttershy will react to runes on Anon.

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>>29625946
Fluttershy would probably be the most understanding one, because she knows what it's like to feel powerless and weak. Pinkie would just throw a rune-themed party because why not. Plot twist: she bound her soul to her party cannon and enchanted herself with runes a long time ago. That's where her supernatural powers come from.

I'm working on a new green.
Because of >>29625208 I'll try to keep it lighthearted and make Anon a nice guy.
Anything else that I should keep in mind?

>>29626213
I want a meme magic green

https://derpibooru.org/1319481

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>>29626213
This >>29626230
But don't feel obliged to our wishes, good green is better than shitty green done to our instructions.

>>29625753
>runes could corrupt the user
honestly it seems like the other way around. Could someone be corrupted mentally by the power they can give? Sure. But physically it sounds more to me like the users mental state is reflecected in the way the runes are written. Doesn't one of the first descriptions of Anon's runes say, from Twilight's perspective that they're "sickening and angry, but work all the same" or something like that? It may be the case that someone in a poor or unstable enough mental state would begin unintentionally tainting their own runes and warping the effects as they write.

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>>29626234

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>>29621832
>>29621840
>>29621950
Gonna be away for 7 days.

Hang on till then and I'll do a bangup green just for you, I promise.

>>29626828
just keep this thread alive and you'll get your meme magic green.

>>29625853
I think that part was supposed to be more a joke on how stupid Applejack is. She outright says she forgot what runes were. I don't think its as deep as what you're making it out to be.

>>29626828
Magicless anonymous isn't going anywhere.

We'll be waiting.

>>29626849
>I think that part was supposed to be more a joke on how stupid Applejack is.
Fair enough.

>>29625853
there is the idea that he's "following Blackmane's steps", which would seem very taboo to anybody, like when anon mentions that he technically made the first spell and Cheerlie goes balistic

>>29627738
As I said it seems rather like banning atom research if Hitler dropped the first Atom bomb.
Except more like Gunpowder and the 1600 Chinese regulating it to only the rich and only special occasion fireworks.

Blackmane did nothing wrong.

>>29628140
>Hitler's kids are such bitches they made a pact to never have kids just to end their bloodline
>Blackmane's family has lasted for thousands of years and almost every one of them has tried to take over the world if they didn't actually succeed
That's a dedicated family

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>>29627738
Blackmane did nothing wrong

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>>29625526
you must be new here, unless you are mentionning neo-/mlp/, otherwise I agree

>>29626646
Please make this next OP image, based

>>29620523
>used my shitty edit for the op
I'm flattered

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>>29628140
>>29628333

>>29628816
Shitty edits are all we got. So thanks for making one

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Isnt this just thread just AiE?

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>>29628914
supergenerals are FUCKING GAY and deserving of ULTIMATE DEATH FOREVER

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>>29628942
So this thread is just AiE

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>>29628952
SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

>>29628966
AiE 3.0

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>>29629008
yuor makin me mad

>>29629026
He's just jealous he can't into runes

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>>29629239
Should just call this thread Sea Urchin General

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>>29629260
he's not wrong

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>>29629260
Damn, you got me there.

>>29629260
Having a general named after them is like a writefag life goal.

>>29628914
It is, but they don't admit it.

>>29629260
Next thread is Sea Urchin general edition

Why isn't MGS getting any credit:(

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>>29629666
Devil trips speak the truth, this is AiE

>>29629260
I have no idea how long he plans on continuing the story, but just know that this "general" ends with him.

>>29629867
'Cause he's lazy (>>29622172)

Save this thread from the depths of page 10.

>>29630789
>133 posts before bump
not bad

>>29629260
Sea Urchin's pretty much the new Sarge

>>29631130
Is that a good thing?

>>29631134
Newfag detected
that being said, I would like to know this as well

>>29631478
well, I have mixed feelings about this, but in this time where the fandom is slowly dwindling down I'd rather have as many content creators as possible
That being said, writefriends like them also have a tendency to kill trends/ideas when they leave. And these never come back

>>29630011
I wouldn't say lazy, more like I'm not getting anywhere with the story

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Man Sea Urchin is a pretty popular guy would be a shame if he disappeared.

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>>29633089
Indeed, it would be rather regretful

>>29620523
THIS THREAD IS SHIT!! DELET THIS!!!

>>29633118
>literally autistic screeching

>>29633102
You stop that.

>reptiles are the only other beings in equestria without magic
>magic keeps a haze on other non-monsterous animals so they dont do anything like cannibalize or eat each other
>only anon and the reptiles are uneffected, giving them a psychic connection and a craving for meat
>blah blah blah
>anon with magicless reptilian army

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>>29620523
>>"It's ok if you can't do magic, Anon."
>>"You are just a human after all."
>>"Nobody expects anything out of you."
>>"Just leave the hero work to us. We'll bring you back a souvenir."

>You got super salty yet again and stormed off into the gardens of Canterlot Castle.
>You could totally do magic!
>Card tricks and the like!
>Shit, you could totally blow the mind of a manticore with your thumb trick!
>...
>Oh who are you kidding, you can't do shit.
>But fuck them; they don't have to be so in your face about it!
>Of course there's danger! Adventure and hero-ing is always dangerous!
>Fuck, you bet that souvenir is yet another snowglobe!
>And to rub salt into the gaping wound that is your self-respect, Twilight and co dropped you off in Canterlot, to be watched over by the Princesses, like you were some kind of child!
>What are they afraid of? That you'll stub your toe made of atoms on a coffee table made of magic and explode?
>Please.
>For all you know, inhaling this magic infused oxygen might give you turbo cancer.
>But you're doing just fine!
>You know?
>Fuck magic! You don't need it!
>Fuck this garden!
>Fuck those leaves!
>Fuck that bench!
>Fuck that fountain!
>And just because, fuck the whales! And… fuck those snails!
>And especially FUCK that statue!
>You kick a rock in its general area.
>HOLY SHIT DIRECT HIT!
>You raise your arms
>That right there IS magic, motherfuckers!
>The weird statue cracks at the muzzle.
>... Roh-oh.
>The statue starts shaking...
>The crack starts going down, down all the way through the thin elongated body and splitting off hundreds of ways through the mismatched limbs.
>Light and smoke seems to break out through the lines...
>Fucking magic!
>Not on your watc- AH FUCK YOUR EYES!
>The blasted thing exploded in a light show!
>"Aaaah~ after a thousand years I am free!"
>You fall on the ground and assume a fetal position as you nurse your poor eyes.

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>>29633393

>"Oooh~ being trapped in stone for that long will give you such a crick in the... well, everything!"
>The sounds of bones cracking horribly send chills down your spine.
>Oh you've dun did it now, Anon!
>You've probably unleashed the most ancient of evils!
>"Celly, you take things too far, it was just a prank..."
>Things get quiet.
>You stay stock still like a possum.
>But you can still feel a presence.
>Right near your face!
>Dare you remove your hands?
>You take a little peek.
>"Hi"
"GAAH, what the fuck are you!?"
>The thing reels back and crosses their arms...
>Their weird mismatched arms.
>"Well I never, I wouldn't expect my savior to be so rude! I'm the pinnacle of beauty!"
>Maybe in Australia where God got really creative with the blender...

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>>29633399

>"Australia? Is that where you're from creature?"
>Wut?
>"The next thing you're going to say is "Can you read my mind!?"
"Can you read my..."
>Fucking magic!
>The thing laughs while spinning in the air.
>"To answer that: Yes... no... maybe?"
>Years of imageboards override your delirious state.
"I don't know, can you repeat the questi- wait can you read my mind or not!?"
>You get up to your feet, taking the fact you haven't been maimed yet as a sign this creature means no harm... for now... plus it called you savior.
>"Well, no I can't, I'm just really good at reading people." The thing sticks its tongue out and winks. "And of course I wouldn't harm my savior, that's just poor manners."
>...
>Wait... can it or ca-
>Ah fuck it.
>The thing chuckles melodiously at your expense.
>"So, before I go wreak some chaos, I'll grant you one wish as thanks, aren’t I just the sweetest girl?"
>Being raised catholic, you've been taught not to make deals with demons, but shieet...
"One wish? Like, anything?"

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>>29633406

>"Anything!" The thing flies up and flexes, muscles becoming hueg "Absolute power! Have the strength of a dragon!" It returns back to its slim form and snaps its fingers, producing a pouch "Unlimited money bag! Wish your money worries away! Ponies use Krone, right?"
>The bag poofs into smoke and the misshapen beast teleports in front of you before swooning exaggeratedly into your arms. "Perhaps you want to be irresistible to the ladies? Mares, minotaurs, gryphons, yaks, dragons, yaks, buffalo, maybe... yaks?"
>It snakes out of your grasp and around your body before adopting an overtly friendly pose, with a furry feline arm hooked around your neck.
>It snaps its fingers again and in front of you floats a box.
>"Not just any box, a MYSTERY box; it can be anything! Even... a box!"
>Unff that's tempting...
"I don't knoow... uh..."
>"Eris."
"... Eris, this seems way too convenient..."
>The former statue unhooks its arm and pushes you down.
>You brace for pain, but find that a cushioned chair has materialized to take hold of your cheeks.
https://youtu.be/vOwVB3MhNW8
>Wooo!
>You clap at the reality bending magical light show taking place before your eyes.
>You’re sold!
>You do a standing ovation as the musical number comes to an end.
"I want magic! GIVE ME MAGIC!"
>"Can do my furless friend!" Eris pulls back one of her arms like a shirt...
>You smile a toothy grin and close your eyes, arms open and ready to embrace glory!
>You hear the snapping of fingers and wait.
>...
>There's another snap.
>You wait...
>And wait...
>You open one eye.
"What's the hold up? Come on, don't edge me like this..."
>It's not wholesome.
>"Well... for the first time in eons I'm stumped..." Eris scrunches her muzzle "I can't do anything to you." Her eyes then glint with mischief "What are you?"
>She inspects you closely.
>Feeling your arms, scratching the hair on your head, knocking it and pressing an ear to it...
>Very uncomfortable.
"I'm Anonymous the human?"

>>29633408

>"Well, "Anonymous the human", it seems you have no magic whatsoever in you."
"Weren't you gonna fix that?"
>Eris assumes a scholarly tone, complete with glasses and tweed sweater before clearing her throat
>"To be acted upon by magic, one has to first possess magic, the process is simple: tug at the magic already there and warp it to the desired effect. Everything has magic - like yours truly - every blade of grass, every grain of soil, every rock, the very air around us, every creature - look over there, even that snail has magic inside it."
>It just sticks to a leaf
>Fuck that snail
>"And you, my pasty friend, you have zero, nada, zilch... an absolute enigma completely unbound by magic, completely outside this lowly plane of existence, yet still able to act upon it... how positively chaotic"
>Fucking what?
"So, you're saying that after all that fanfare, you can't give me magic." You catch yourself almost growling out those words in your annoyance.
>"'fraid so; magic, power, being attractive to yaks... anything that affects you physically... I can't really do... It pains me." Eris assumes an overdramatic look of anguish, cloud of rain above her head "Oh how it pains me! I, Eris Goddess of Chaos, powerless before this patchy ape!"
>She quickly brightens up and materializes a jingling bag. "Things that don't affect you physically are still good though~! So, how about that Krone, hmm?"
>You just stare off into space.
>You are Anonymous, so devoid of magic that even a Goddess of Chaos can't give it to you.
>...
>Goddamn, now that stupid cloud is raining on you.
>"But Anon... Cloud's gone?"
>It's raining okay!?
>"Cheer up! I can magic you a tome that does the magicking for you!"
"D-Does it do anything I want?"
>"Well, huh, depends?"
"It's not the same."
>The once peppy atmosphere has turned gloomy.
>You guess doing crazy shit like Eris does naturally will never be something you can do
>It wouldn't sting so much if you didn't know it was possible for some!

>>29633415

"For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return."
>Eris floats above you.
>"Come now, this is absurd, you realize how awkward this is for me? You're putting me on the spot here. Come on, anything you want."
"I want magic."
>She turns belly side up in the air and contorts to face you.
>"Besides the physical stuff."
>You sigh.
>You don't want anything else.
>Call it being childish but you won't settle for less!
"If you can't give me magic, then go do whatever it was you planned to do."
>You're just gonna sulk a while.
>Eris huffs and puts some distance between you.
>"I'm a mar- liones- drak- I'm a gal of my word, and I can't let myself be tied down by I.O.Us!"
>Magic or bust.
>You really feel like sitting down.
>But that bench is reeeally far away...
>With magic you could just call the comfiest lazyboy into existence...
>You hear the tell-tale sounds of magic right behind you.
>It's a lazyboy!
>"Fine, you drive a hard bargain human. If you are so obsessed with magic then I'll to it for you."
"So you CAN read my mind!"
>"Not fully!"
>Riiight.

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>>29633420

>"I'm serious! You can’t be acted upon by magic remember?”
>You assume the best crossed arms Frodo stance you can muster.
“Then how did you do it before?”
>Eris gives you another wink and snaggletoothed grin.
>”Life has many doors; there are other avenues I can look through for stuff like this.”
>You can’t help but be skeptic, the same way you’d be skeptic of anything coming out of a Jews mouth.
>”Right to the anti-Semitism, huh? You don’t pull any punches.”
>You shake your head and try to keep your mind as blank as possible.
>You sit on the chair and sink deep into it with a loud pomf
>=3
>Eris just splays herself over the arm rests.
>"There's a catch do this arrangement though."
"Of course there is."
>Now that you think about it, Krone aside, the other options were also worded strangely.
>"Very astute, monkey-man. Also, that strong like a dragon thing you're probably thinking of right now? Dragon is a very broad term... they come in many sizes, you know?"
>How devilish...
"So, the catch?"
>"Weeell, we are going to spend a lot of time together, you and I, you as the "master"~" Eris sits up and teasingly boops your nose "And little old me as the puppet, but a girl has needs, you know? And I can't very well go without. I'd positively whither without some chaos in my life!"
"When you talk about chaos, you're talking about Heath Ledger as The Joker, or are you just talking about "it's just a prank, bro"?"
>"The latter. It’s all in good fun, I'm sure you don't mind? Quid pro quo and all that."
>Well, it's all well and good if it's just at the level of shitty youtube prank channels and the like when it comes to danger.
>And while it's not truly yours, nor can you access the full extent of it, magic is magic.
>Selling your soul like this doesn't seem so bad.
>Heck might even be fun!
"You've got yourself a deal!"

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>>29633426

That's it.
I just really wanted to write some green for the thread, I don't know where I would take this, though I left it open enough that I can come back to it or someone can jump in and go with it if the mood takes them.
Hope I wrote Eris at least passably enough.
Also, if anyone's confused with continuity and whatnot, for all you know, this might take place in an alternate reality where only Discord is genderbent and where the events of the season 2 opening may or may not have happened.

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>>29633426
>"You've got yourself a deal!"
oh boy

>>29633426
CUTE!!!
Will there be MOAR???

>>29633491
its perfect
write more jewboy

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>>29633491
http://pastebin.com/q4mqZpxk pastebin.
>>29633610
>jewboy
R-Rude.

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>>29633426
>Not asking for a stand
For shame

>>29633659
Actually,a magicless anon but who has a stand(or hamon/spin(As a replacement for magic sounds pretty interesting

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>>29633659
>Implying getting an Eris to shadow your magic-less ass isn't on the same level if not above a stand.
She'll cover your lack of magic with her chaos magic, anon, if you want to conjure up a stand for yourself she'll do it for you.
Now that I think about it, this is some next level infinite wishes loophole: by not being able to get magic and having her fill in that flaw to stick by her word, you've basically achieved Unlimited Wish Works.
Aw yiss.

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>>29633491
I like the premise so far, keep it coming

>>29633426
Very fucking nice. I'm interested in seeing where this goes.

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>>29633630
But shekeru is magiku, jew~san

>>29634045
>this exists

I can't remember the last time I was genuinely surprised to see that something exists on the internet, yet here we are.

>>29633089
Not that popular. I doubt many people outside the threads he's spearheaded would be familiar with him.

>>29633659
>not asking for 3 more wishes

>>29623570
By deeming him evil and shunning him they are creating a monster, runes may not be inherently evil, but when everyone says they are without question, people's perception tosses facts out the window with prejudice.
And if they say he's a monster?
Well I guess he'll just have to fit the role they want him to play.

>>29634577
I don't think Anon cares about himself being labeled evil. His only interests are understanding magic and having his strength recognized. By calling runes evil, they're inherently devaluing his discovery. That's what's getting under his skin, not the insults to him.

>>29634733
k

>>29633426
Here we go again!

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>>29633426

>"Yes, very good, I like the cut of your jib, “master”~, you and I will get along juuust okay."
>Eris pulls herself off you and the couch, letting you stand up - couch now gone - and presents a paw to shake.
>"Texan law, Part'ner; no deal is complete without shakin' on it."
>When was that?
>Better question, how does she even know Texas?
>"Come on, don't leave me hanging here."
>You wrap a hand around the smaller paw and shake.
>This all seems so surreal.
>Like how after the fact, you can't really believe that what really happened actually did.
>But okay, you don't have magic, but you've got the next best thing...
"So, how do we this?"
>Eris floats around you, a finger on her chin.
>"My, "mind reading" skills are quite limited, if you want to do something, best put it on the forefront of your mind, barring that, you could always use the obsolete mode of communication known as speech."
>She gently holds your jaw and pulls up and down.
>"Just move these muscles here, like so! If you believe reeal hard, words will come out! Just call out whatchu want like some protagonist from your Neighponese Animes."
>You brush her bird like appendage away.
"I know how to speak!"
>You were wondering about limitations, weaknesses, kryptonite? That sort of thing!
>She chuckles.
>"Like I advertised before, there isn't any limits to my amazing Chaos magic, well, aside from your own physical ones." ouch. "And weaknesses? Pah!" Eris spins around and acts smug. "I laugh at your concept that abides failure!"
>Okay.
>So, as long as it doesn't affect your body directly, it's fair game?
>You assume the thinking man's pose, unaware of Eris, who has snaked behind you and mimicked your concentrated expression while floating.
>Gotta start slow, something great, but not too powerful, can't just jump the gun here and get 5 star heat on your ass...
>Hmm...
>You spy that same asshole snail from before, still in the same place, spreading mucous all over the leaf.
>Alright.

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>>29636333

>You reach out your hand towards it
>You point your finger, not at the snail, but at the bush
>Come on, live... LIIIIVE!
"ZAP MUHFUGGA!"
>A bolt of magic comes from right next to you, it hits the bush directly, and after a beat, the thing starts moving, the leaves gain leafy teeth, the snail proceeds to be eaten like fresh escargot by a frenchman
>Shiiet!
>He dead
>The bush spits out the shell like yesterday's garbage.
>You look gleefully to your companion
>She nonchalantly looks at her nails
>"Give me a challenge why don't you?"
>Aw yiss!
"Sunglasses!"
>You stick up your hand to the sky, a pair materializing on them.
>You stick them onto your face
>BEE GEES!
>https://youtu.be/oQwNN-0AgWc
>Your head bops slightly to the beat coming from seemingly everywhere
>"Ooh~ nice." Eris puts her own pair of shades.
>You start swaggering, Goddess of Chaos mirroring you in the air.
>Following the rhythm, you finger gun the fountain.
>FUCK that fountain! Make it spew wine!
>Thus saith the lord, and lo! It was happened.
>You snap your fingers, glass now on it.
>You scoop some of the wine as you swagger past the fountain.
>You knock it back and throw the glass away; it disappears before it hits the ground.
>You don't even like wine!
>FUCK that bench! Every seat should just be lazyboys!
>A zap later, the thing morphs into the comfiest chair in the world, complete with cup holder.
>You keep that endorphin induced swagger as you make your way out of the labyrinthine garden.
>Finger gunning things and calling in magic drops.
>Fuck that, and that, fuck the leaves, photosensitizing assholes, get a job!
>Every well-trimmed bush gets a tie and a briefcase, joining the beat.
>At the exit, you spin 180º.
>FUCK THIS GARDEN! Make it a parking lot!
>Large amounts of noise almost drown the music, bulldozers being driven by hardhat wearing Eris' come from all sides, demolishing the greenery and leaving it barren for another set to come and spread quickly hardening asphalt.

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>>29636339

>You get lost in the beat, face splitting grin as you turn to see Eris with arms bent close to her chest doing a little dance in the air.
>The two of you nod at each other, eyes still hidden behind the shades.
>You turn around and come face to horn with a white horse, HOLY SHIT!
>The music gets cut off, cheesy record scratch and everything.
>You curl up onto yourself and clutch your face.
>That pointy thing almost took your eye out!
>Celestia keeps herself straight, eyes betraying no emotion, though you suspect her to be worried due to your theatrics.
>"Anonymous... I give you your space and let you explore my gardens and this is what you do?" She spreads her regal wings wide. "I did not want to believe it, when I felt a disturbance, but it seems truth is quick to surface... Eris..."
>Your companion floats lazily around you, before lowering her sunglasses under her eyes and looking at the Princess of the sun.
>"Celly~ long time no see!" she teleports closer to the equine and looks her up and down "Wow, a few thousand years really IS a long time hmm? And it shows!"
>Eris spins around, showing her mismatched body off to the alicorn, loosening her mane with her claws for emphasis "Thanks to your stone treatment I'm still looking as youthful and spritely as ever, I'm a bit miffed about the whole, being aware thing -buut- the results speak for themselves."
>Oh snap.
>Wait, do people still say that?
>Eeeh.
>Celestia's eyes narrow. "It seems like your "youthful" exterior wasn't the only thing that stayed the same..." She gestures to the parking lot that was once half her garden, an Eris inside a car honking loudly as another angrily yells "HEY I'M WALKIN' HERE!"
>Eris huffs and crosses her arms.
>"Wasn't me."
>"Petulant child..."
>"Old hag."
>Oh wow, things are getting preetty heated.
>You step between the two Godly beings, last thing you need is some clash of the titans shit going down with you in the middle.

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>>29636342

Have a morning update, that will be a (You).
By the way, there's an irredeemable lack of cute Eris art, there always is.
Also, check 'em >>29636333

>>29636342
Fantastic.

I do hope Anon and Eris continue their mutual understanding and slowly drive sunbutt mad with their antics. Maybe save Equestria from one of those world-threatening disasters that seem to pop up all the time, just to make sure she can't cast them as the bad guys and forcing her to put up with both of them.

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>>29636333
>Neighponese Animes
some of these are too good, man

i'm awaiting new Obsession chapters!)

>>29637317
>chapters!)
No, no. You're supposed to use ' / ' instead of ' ! ' to make a brohoof. Like this: /)

>>29637381
No, he just used a russian smiley. )))

>>29633659
>>29633676
>>29633761
If you want, there's an entire thread dedicated to Anons or OCs with Stands right here
>>29535491

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>>29636342
Keep it up, bud.

>>29637456
Could someone defne what a stand is please? I cant seem to find a definition.

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>>29637795
Come on, dude, everything's right there on the thread that anon linked.
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.
http://jojo.wikia.com/wiki/Stand

>>29637317
Could you say you're obsessed?

>>29637795
t. Someone who never sold lemonade

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>>29637381
hey, i remember this one, but i kind of dont used to make that. BUT, i'm glad that u did it to me! (\
>>29637413
hey, that ")))" not a smiley, thats for bad (((people))) ; anyway ")" is for ":-)"


>>29638028
YES! I like that types of stories, I read some books with similar plot and always liked them although i have not the best taste in books and not good at English, but this one story is truly great! Actually, at least I developed a sense to good stories where character from one space\time suddenly gets to another space\time
Praise Anon the Lich and thanks, author!
"I'm belarussian, so just you know

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i wanna create some stories too, have bad english and no experience! one day, i will write something similar, because this is something i'm interested into

>>29638133
Apparently on russian keyboards the : is hard to reach so they type )) for smileys instead

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>>29638111
Best use of the t. joke I've ever seen

>>29638133
go back to /fs/, popadanec
>>29636342
FUCKING GREAT CHAPTER!!!
It brings me literal joy. Keep up the good work.

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>>29638111
Also checked

>>29636342
that's some wonderful green good job

Small update for now, I've been real busy.

>>29617223
>That meeting went pretty well.
>Celestia is going to come to Anon’s welcome party and personally meet him! You’re certain he will be excited.
>That wasn’t the main topic, though. What if other humans or species could be randomly showing up in Equestria? That could be very bad for Ponykind, or for themselves even.
>Someponies wave to you as you go your way. You nod to them, and they smile wide.
>Just as you pass Sugar Cube Corner something catches your eye.
>Was that Anon?
>You spin around and peer through the windows.
>Anon’s talking to Pinkie. You wonder what about.
>Probably a good time to bring up that party to the both of them. Anon soon will finally meet all of your friends and maybe make some of his own.
>You could properly introduce him to everypony and maybe explain his situation some. They would have to accept him after that.
>”Sure ‘Non, I’ll make sure she’s there.” You catch as you open the door.
>Immediately Pinkie Pie jumps in front of you as you walk inside. “Hi Twilight! Anon and I were just talking about putting him a party together to welcome him to Ponyville! And we could do it at your castle! Only if that’s fine with you, of course.”
>”Actually, that was exactly what I had in mind…”

>>29639263
>Be Anon
>Your eyes open, and they ache as sunlight hits them. You’re lying in bed.
>You throw off your covers. Where the fuck are you?
>You scan the room and find it to be all too familiar. You panic as you realize what this means.
>On the floor lies the pentagram you had drunkenly scrawled there.
>That couldn’t have been a dream. It couldn’t have! It was all too fucking real!
>You sit your ass back down onto the bed, grasping your head with your hands.
>You were just before in Ponyville…confronted by Chrysalis, and she hit you with her magic. She fucking sent you back here!
>Well, unless it was all just your imagination. You almost wish it just was that.
>You’re still shirtless… and still wearing those pants.
>It wasn’t a dream! Which means…
>You lost your only chance at a better life. You crumble to the floor.
>You break out into a fit of sobbing and desperation.
“Goddammit, Chrysalis. GODDAMNIT!”
>You pound the floor.
>Two hard knocks on the door break you from your trance.
>“Hello? Anyone here?”
>Fuck, that's probably the fucking apartment manager coming to evict you. Well good, even more justification for what you’re about to do.
“A moment, please!”
>You run into the bathroom and open a few cabinets. This will have to do.
>You grab it and run into the kitchen, pulling a glass out of the sink. You fill it up to the brim. The heavy smell of chlorine burns your nostrils.
>Down the hatch she goes...

>>29639301
Anon's fucking retarded man
That shit won't kill him fast enough

>>29621186
Shouldn't it be like 8d10?

>>29620523
would a shadow games anon be a good addition here or is it not quite right?

>>29639424
Shadow Games as in Yu-Gi-Oh?

I think that it doesn't matter much what exactly kind of magic Anon tries to use: be it runes, pet draconequs, card tricks, necromancy or Harry Potter like spells.
I think that shadow games would fit here just fine.

>>29639537
neat
ill have something by tomorrow

>>29639424
>>29639597
lol, a yugioh anon? Better not include any of that new garbage. Keep to the classic shit that was around during the original show.
Also the concept of the shadow realm only exists because they couldn't kill people on the American version. Shadow games and the shadow realm are different things, but it's pretty funny.

>>29639537
>"Anon, what did you do?!"
"I-I don't know! I didn't think it would work! It's just a children's card game!"
>"JUST a children's card game? You saying that is possibly worse than sending Fluttershy to the shadow realm!"
"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD WORK!"

>>29639868
>I'm going to send you to the shadow realm
>You're going to send him to the shadow realm?
>Yes, I'm going to send him to the shadow realm
>Yeesss...

>>29639868
yes, yes, season 0 and yugioh school days and all that

>>29639891
I keked.

>>29639868
Yeah but the shadow realm was fucking cool. I'd say it's even better than dying. How many times are characters faced with "you lose and you die"? In Yugioh it's "you lose and your soul is sent to the SHADOW REALM where you will be tortured for all eternity or until the main character can save you". That's fucking awesome.

>>29623570

>You--she--how can they--
>Your face begins to heat up in tandem with the light shaking of your body.
>You, Anonymous, because that’s who you are, have done something unheard of.
>It’s amazing!
>It’s stupendous!
>How can she not understand that?
>How can they all be so fucking ignorant?
>You don’t need her to tell you to go home again. You’re out!
>Turning on a heel, you storm off and make way for home.
>Enough with Ponyville.
>These simpletons will never understand the new territory you’ve begun to map out.
>What you need to do is throw all your shit in a box, steal some bread, and make way for the Everfree where you can live out your life as a dirty forest curmudgeon.
>Dad would be so proud, wouldn’t he?
>Ah, fuck him.
>Time has managed to fly by in your rage and you’ve made it home faster than you would have thought.
>It’s still morning so the sun is shining, but some heavy grey clouds are collecting in front of it, shrouding your little cabin.
>Apparently your magic missile evaporated enough snow to prompt a new rainstorm.
>That’s kind of cool, you guess.
>As you near the door, you begin to pick up speed.
>Without much care for your lock, you raise your leg and kick the door in.
>It flies open and smashes against the wall adjacent, then swings back and tries to attack you.
>You hold your hand up protectively and, when it slams against you, shove it back.

>>29641567

>Now inside your house, you channel some magic through your hands and get to work on packing all your papers and notes up into little boxes.
>In the time that you’ve had to march home, enough magic has been absorbed by your runes that you can handle some light spell usage.
>While your telekinesis works on filing away your precious items, you make fine use of your time and snack on a loaf of bread to nourish your drained body.
>Angrily, you chew on the stale pastry and pace around your cramped, cluttered kitchen.
>Your shoes stick in a few spots where spilled coffee had never been wiped up.
>Moving out.
>This act seems to make you aware of the detritus you’ve been living in and makes you even more disgusted with the place.
>When you go to the Everfree, you’ll build a new house.
>It will be big and beautiful and not shitty like this pile of sticks.
>When anyone stumbles upon your abode, they’ll be awestruck!
>They’ll know to be amazed!
>They won’t make the same mistakes these ponies did!
>And the ponies have made so many mistakes. They have, really.
>Enough to ruin every relationship you had with them, at least.
>Yeah, every one.

>>29641571

>Your mad walk slows to a slow saunter, and eventually a stop as you lean against the counter.
>Every relationship you’ve had has been trashed.
>It’s all their fault, right?
>They just didn’t know how to appreciate you or your discoveries.
“Or maybe,” you mutter, setting the bread down on a comparatively clean spot of the stone.
>Your father used to say something about people with no social skills.
>”How many times do things have to turn sour for them before they start to ask themselves if it’s really everyone else?”
>Perhaps you’ve been a little harsh.
>Maybe striking Twilight back in the hospital wasn’t your best idea.
>But she had it coming!
>She’s always getting in your way--always holding you back!
>Always trying to be a good friend.
>Well when did you ever say you wanted friends? Her forcing herself on you is just plain annoying.
>Especially when she does it in all the wrong ways.
>God, she’s so protective. You don’t need all of that business.
>But if it’s the only way she knows to show she cares, can you really blame her?
>Yes.
>Well, yes you can, but should you?
>Oh jeez, you’ve made a mess of things, Anon.
>You pull back from the counter and look out through the kitchen door into the living room.
>Boxes, books, papers, pencils, magical crystals, and other assorted goods still flutter about, wrapped in your own copycat aura.
>Your life’s work amounts to less than a few months of magical studies that can all fit neatly into a handful of boxes.
>Is this what you shunned the outside world for?

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>>29641567
ayyyy it's the nigga sea urchin.
I appreciate your tenacity, keep it up my dude.

>>29641581

>You could try to say you’re sorry.
>But are you?
>You’re certainly feeling something resembling regret right now.
>For what, you’re not entirely sure, but given the current circumstances, you feel there’s enough evidence to point towards your current state of relationships with the ponies.
>No, Anon, it’s far too late for that.
>You’ve already burned those bridges.
>Twilight probably hates you, everyone else thinks you’re evil, and your garden would never forgive you for what you’ve let happen to it.
>All that’s left is the Everfree.
>There, you can have a fresh start.
>You bring the butt of the loaf to your lips and devour it whole.
>Still chewing it to mush, you step out of the kitchen and eye the cleaned up room.
>Everything has found its place in a box, and each box onto the cart that Twilight gave you for all those books.
>Now you just have to go.
>Pack up, move out, and leave everything behind.
>Yep. Without saying anything to anyone.
>You’ve said all you had to say, and they’ve certainly shared their parts.
>”Anon, you’re so evil.”
>”Anon, how could you study that black magic?”
>”Anon-kun, you’re such a fucking faggot holy shit.”
>Ok they didn’t say that part, but if they had the capacity for such vulgarity, they sure as hell would have.
>Look, Anon, don’t be like that.
>Maybe...maybe part of your problem was that, near the end, you always thought the worst of them.

>>29641585

>You sigh and approach the cart in the corner of your room.
>Welp, looks like it’s time to go.
>You’ve got another three loaves of bread left.
>By the time you make it out to the Everfree, you should have enough magic absorbed to get to work on a house. Once you’re sure you won’t freeze over the night, you can work on food.
>Speaking of freezing, you grab your last coat off of the rack.
>It’s a nice, heavy, black wool coat that hugs your sides and drapes down to your knees.
>After buttoning up the front and cinching the belt, you’re all set to go.
>Grabbing the handles of the cart, you hoist it up and make way for the door.
>It swings open with a gentle tug of your magic.
>You head out, closing your eyes from the sudden shift in light.
>By the time a big breath of fresh, cool air fills your lungs, you’re more or less adjusted and open them back u--
>Um.
>”A-anon!”
“What the fuck is going on here?”
>What you have been met with is not the calm, snowy yard leading to the decrepit trees and bushes you let grow out.
>Instead, it’s a very not calm, snowy yard leading to the decrepit trees and bushes you let grow out.
>There are ponies all over the place.
>Several of them are dressed in baby blue spandex and hover closeby in the air.
>”You weren’t supposed to be here.”
“I live here.”
>”Um, so, you know, we thought that you might, you know,” Rainbow Dash sputters, seemingly unable to figure out what she wants to say.
“Why are you in your Wonderbolt uniform?” you ask, gesturing to her suit matching those of the other airheads around.

>>29641587

>”Rainbow Dash, we’re coming!”
“Excuse me?”
>You squint, trying to get a better view of the path through the trees.
>Who is…
“Oh my fucking god.”
>Yeah, that’s a good thirty two armored ponies in shining golden armor, all being led by a certain purple pony.
>Each royal guard has a spear locked into a small hook on the right side of their armor.
>Those that can fly go ahead and just hold theirs in their hooves rather than keep it at their side.
>”We’re here, Rainbow. Are we la--oh, hi, Anon!”
“Twilight.”
>”What are you doing here?”
“Deja vu.”
>”Oh, he surrenders. Good, that makes this easier.”
“I do not surrender! I don’t even know what’s going on here!”
>You throw your cart down and put your hands over your hips.
“Explain yourselves.”
>”Well, Anon,” Twilight starts, approaching you cautiously, “In light of recent events, we, being the closest thing to an authority on friendship available, figured that you could use some, for lack of a better word, help.”
“Define.”
>She’s a few feet away now.
>Her eyes scan you, eventually locking onto the left side of your neck.
>You do remember putting a rune on there. That one is supposed to keep your feet smelling fresh.
>Don’t ask.

>”Well, you’re what we would usually call ‘friendship challenged’. These gentlemen here are supposed escort you to a facility where we can help you learn to love and be loved by those around you.”
“Let me get this straight. You brought the Wonderbolts and the Royal Guard to escort me to a facility so I can be taught friendship the proper way?”
>”Technically Rainbow Dash brought the Wonderbolts.”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
>”It’s only for a little while, Anon. You’re a real fast learner.”
“Holy fucking shit you have got to be kidding me.”

>>29641594

>In the distance, you can see a massive explosion of confetti.
>Dear lord.
>Just above the cloud of falling colorful paper is a small bicycle-copter resembling the one Pinkie uses to make it around to Cloudsdale.
>Trailing behind said vehicle is a large banner reading, in bright pink letters, “Happy Going Away Party Anon”.
>Right under those, taking up about half of the banner, reads “We’ll Miss You In Friendship Rehabilitation” followed by a colon and three capital D’s.
>”She wasn’t supposed to do that yet.”
>Nope.
>You were right all along.
>You were TOTALLY right.
>Fuck these ponies.
>It’s not you, it’s them.
>100% them.
>You pick up your cart and begin to walk, ready to leave it all behind and this time with no regrets.
>You don’t get very far before Twilight and seven guards get in your way.
“Move.”
>”Anon, come on. It’ll be fun! I’ll come visit you and we can make macaroni crafts.”
“As tempting as that sounds, I think I’d find more joy in tying a rock to my ankle and diving into the Great Sea.”
>”That doesn’t sound very fun at all.”
“Move, you pedantic, purple piece of shit.”
>”You can’t talk to the princess like that,” shouts one of the armored assholes angrily airing his aggravations.
“Ok, let me rephrase. Move, you short, egotistical cunt.”
>There are several gasps from the crowd.
>”I’m not short or egotistical!”
“But you’re a cunt?”
>”You know I don’t speak human.”

>>29641600

>You pull your cart back, make a turn for the right, and try to move by her.
>Her team of guards block you again.
>Alright, one more time.
>Pulling back again, you make for the left and head for the exit.
>”Not so fast, buster boy,” says the surfer Wonderbolt as he descends from the sky and lands firmly on the ground, blocking your way.
>Don’t make a scene.
>You inhale deeply, letting the chilling air calm your nerves.
>Without much thought or effort on your part, you ditch the cart and take the boxes from it into your magical grip.
>”Stand back, he’s using the magic!”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
>You walk forward, this time your path unobstructed.
>It’s enough to put a smile on your face.
>They can’t understand what you’ve done for the world, but that’s fine.
>Their fear and ignorance will at least help you make a quick exit.
>”Take the boxes.”
“Take the what now?”
>Something begins tugging at your magic.
>You look up at the lavender aura holding your items being invaded.
>Pegasi guards reach their hooves into it, grabbing at your shit.
“Don’t touch those!”
>You swipe your hand, moving the collection away.
>They hold on tight and really start to yank.
>”Anon, you won’t need boxes in friendship rehabilitation.”
“Let go!”
>You hold up your other hand and with another burst of magic, shove the guards away.
>”He’s attacking!”
>”Quick, defend yourselves!”
“I didn’t do shit!”
>”Hey, calm down, guys. Anon’s not attacking,” reasons Twilight. “He’s just scared. Be a little nicer, will you?”

>>29641605

>After trying to talk down her guards, she casts her gaze upon you and softens her eyes.
>With a light, soft voice, she says, “Nobody is going to hurt you, Anon. Just come with us and we can sort all this black magic nonsense out. Celestia will see reason.”
“No, fuck you. I’m going into the woods and I’m not coming back. Is that so wrong?”
>”What kind of friend would I be if I let you run away from something like this?”
“I don’t want to be your friend. Haven’t you picked up on that yet?”
>”Come on, don’t be like that. Don’t you remember all our long walks together? Did our late night tea mean nothing?”
>Memories of your past interaction are brought to the forefront of your mind.
>Before she was so needy, Twilight’s company was rather enjoyable.
>Whenever you were feeling down, she was around.
>If you didn’t have the last few months built up over all of that, you might feel bad about what you’re doing now.
>As it stands though, you’re totally in the right here.
>A sudden jerk alerts you again to something messing with your stuff.
>Mother fuckers!
>Growling, you make a fist and condense your aura, further tightening your grip on the boxes and such.
“I said get away,” you shout and, with the other hand, pick up some pebbles from under the snow.
>You send them flying through the air and pelt the Wonderbolt freaks trying to steal your stuff.
>”Hey dude, like, back off! Totally not radical! Chaa.”
“Don’t you get that attitude with me, boy,” you hiss.
>”Anon, stop being so difficult.”
“I’m not going to some happy factory where you can friendship lobotomize me! I’ve seen way too many movies!”
>”Anon, be cool,” says Rainbow Dash, gathering her Wonderbolts.
>Once more, your items are under attack.
>Oh god damn it!
“I said stay away from those!”
>You whip around and hold your hand up, grabbing the pegasus by his wings.

>>29641607

>He yelps as you throw him away, smashing him against a tree and denting his golden armor.

>Suddenly, one of the royal guards rams into you, knocking you onto the ground.
>Your concentration is broken and the spell fails.
>In slow motion, your boxes begin to fall.
>You lunge and throw your hand forward, trying to grab them, but it’s kicked away before you can cast the spell.
>They hit land in the snow, spilling their contents.
>”Hold him down! He’s dangerous!”
“No! My studies!”
>The other guards run over as well.
>One locks onto your legs.
>They press their weight against you, pushing you deeper into the cold snow.
>As the oversized crowd moves about, their hooves make a mess of things.
>Some kick the muddy snow onto your notes.
>Others just trample right over them.
>The papers are torn, the boxes are crushed.
>No, no, no, no, no.
>No! No!
>NO!
>All that work.
>All those nights.
>All the hours you spent cold and hungry, bargaining for one more page before you made it to your empty fridge to be disappointed by its contents.
>The hours you spent combing through endless books for the smallest hints at how to work these ancient spells.
>The history of magic you carefully pieced together with books spanning generations of authors.
>ALL GONE!
>Your teeth grind into dust.
>Trenches are dug in the snow under your hand as your fingers scratch against it, curling into tight fists.
>Hot blood rushes through you, making the veins in your head bulge.
>Electricity shoots out from your muscles.
>At first they’re small little sparks, but soon they’re large streams that dance along the ground and sputter into the air.

>>29641611

>”He’s a feisty one!”
>”Careful now! No idea what he’s doing!”
>”Uh, guys, I don’t like the look of this!”
“You’re fucking dead,” you scream.
>Dedicating half of the energy you have left, you form a telekinetic field around yourself and force it outward, throwing the twenty stallions off of you and sending them soaring through the air.
>Several crash into nearby trees, instantly falling unconscious.
>One smashes right through the wall of your cabin.
>Those luckier ponies skid along the ground until the snow robs them of their momentum and brings them to a halt.
>”Anon, don’t,” cries Twilight.
>You jump up to your feet and point a finger at her.
“I sure hope you’ve got somebody you can pray to to save your sorry ass from me,” you seethe.

That's it for tonight. This ended up coming a little later than intended, yeah? Thank you to all the dear readers keeping up. I hope you're enjoying it. If you're not, I don't really know what to say. It's not like I get paid whether you like it or not so we're both out of luck here if you're not sweet on the green. But hey, if you do enjoy it, you'll probably like this fully updated pastebin too http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

>>29641621
Haven't read yet, but have a (you).
Gonna start now.

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>>29641600
>colon and three capital D’s
you're a real fugen meme miester mate

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>>29641621
noice. thanks for the continuing green, my man

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>>29641621
very nice

>>29641621
This is great. Just don't suddenly turn it into an asylum story, turning Anon magicless again

>>29641741
I don't even see how they could to be honest. Anon's the only one with knowledge of how to apply runes, and it doesn't sound like they can be removed. Even if they could, he's still walking around sans soul (which is sitting in his pocket) so they'd have to sort that too. The only way would be containing him behind effectively a magical "airlock" that stops any ambient magic from getting to his runes to recharge them.

>>29641621
Thanks for great story! :-)

>>29641621
Another excellent update.

Trying to become a writefag too. Sorry for all grammar mistakes. Slowly, but surely i will become better.


>be anon
>You live pathetic life
>You crave for change, you want to become something better
>You want to have hign energy level, but all energy of yours is wasted on 4chan debates about politics and pastel horses
>Low self-esteem? Checked
>Are u loser? Chked
>You just wanna die? Sure
>You trying to hide your pain and depression under memes? Yeah, and at this point you want to kill, so don't push you over the edge.
>So, once you figured out that your life will totally worthless, you brought up your weaponized autism and start seeking knowledge about dark magic.
>You don't believe in magic too much, it's only weak hope.
>Why then you ask meme magicians about rituals?
>You wanna anyway die, but unsure about outcome, so you want to raise your chances of good after-death.
>With dark magic, yeah.
>Seems pretty odd, but your plan is to ask the Kek to send you somewhere where you can start your life from a blank list.
>Or just die like an autist and give other anons some lulz.
>Some time later you have prepared to departure.
>Your body covered in magical symbols, walls of your room covered in the blood.
>So that's it is.
>You clean your browser history and upload your best picture pack to board as legacy and start the final preparations.
>Get some flamable liquids on your room, adjust the camera to stream, set the paper origami on fire, aaand start!
>You speak in the darkness, while watching right onto your crappy drawings on the walls.
My lord Kek, help me outta here to a better place to live and earn glory and lulz.
>Video is capturing, but it's didn't bother you too much.
>Now you have 15 seconds to act, because when fire will spread across the room, you will experience some real pain.

>>29642180

>You enter the circle from salt and take a last breath, then you put a knife's sharp side to your heart.
>Just a simple kitchen knife, but this will be enough.
>Your will is too weak to do it properly, so instead you just falling onto the ground, and the blade enters your ribcage right into the heart.
>Seconds after room is fully on fire, so or would be harder to understand what actually happened, when people will find your body.
>Notebook stops the video and uploads it to the boards.
>Soon enough someone will notice a weird shade angles, but they'll say "I'm programmer, that's Photoshop!".
>You will be forgotten soon enough.

>Be anon
>Find yourself in the cold void near big green sphere. You noticed some other spheres too.
>Is this gods and demons? Makes some sense.
>You hear the noble voice.
>Kek is pleased, now go, Anon the Human, become a man and get some lulz for me! Heil 2 you!"
>Your "soul" starts to accelerate towards a better place, as you suppose, and after some time you lose your consciousness.
>I woke up from the sound of roaring air and feeling of untoleratable heat.
>You're the Anon the Worthless, and you feel like you have entered atmosphere of unknown planet at really high speed.
>You even feel the pain from the air pressure, as travel with a speed, higher then speed of sound.
>And then you realize that you have passed through some crucial point, as you start to ascend.

>>29642185
>Next hour you can enjoy of view of the new planet from space. Green fields, yellow sands, grey mountains, blue oceans and so on.
>On the dark side of the planet, though, u cant see nothing but one comparatively small green glowing surface. Which is strange.
>Anyway, your enter atmosphere once again and start your final descend.
>Looks like your will be landing in the sunset zone, which is nice.
>Your speed falling, and you slowly make it to the grassland near evergreen forest.
>Forest, grassland, some spiky mountains at horizon.
>Beutiful sunset of yellow exoplanet star.
>Suddenly you realize that you have body now.
>You try to breath and you just hope that u will survive this stage.
>Well, air is clear and you feel a little bit dizzy from the levels of oxygen you've got.
>Somehow someway you, Anon, now in a different world and with the help of Kek there is a good air for your lungs.
>Anyway you should start moving, because you start getting cold.
>Looks like there was a summer rain two hours ago and grass are still wet.
You better get going, adventurer, find a village and get a job.
>You start moving, keeping forest at right hand from you.
>Soon enough you end up near river, so you change your direction down with direction of water flow.
>You tired, so you stop and sit down at the stone. Its cold, but you sit like a slav, so you won't get sick.
>After five minutes your legs are tired, so you prefer to stand up and stop this torture.
>Near hour later you get to the bridge. Bridge is wooden, but seems pretty small for you.
>You how you won't break this, so you carefully cross the river and go up the road.
>After three thousands feets toward big forest you finally arrived to some kind of a small medieval-style town.

>>29642188
>You cant tell too much for your weak eyesight, though.
>But the place is beautiful: stone road, pretty houses and castle-shaped mansion near main square.
I hope this is local mage, not the landlord. But I'm not a fighter, my most useful working medieval skill for now is the masonry. But anyway, i should now just go and say hello to somebody.
...
Come on, you should be brave to succeed. Rrrragh!
>As you enter the town, you feel some deja vu.
>Architecture style looks familiar.
>Small doors, small windows. Lots of hoove-prints on the sand road. And finally...
>You feel the frozen sweat at your back. It cant be, it cant be.
>You finally encounter some citizens. They are small pastel horses. Sheeeeeeit. Even if you secretly wanted to Equestria, you are 100% sure that your life here would not be good.
>Anyway, citizens noticed you too.
>Dont panic, Anon, you should say something.
Hello there, guys, where is the tavern?
>You hear only screams of fear, as two citizens ran away in clouds of dust.
Oh come on, i hope there will be somebody brave enough.

>>29642194
>"FOR THE BRAVERY!"
>You hear some strange voice and turn around, expecting to face some pony-knight with a spear.
>But you have been attacked from the sky, as pegasus crushes onto your shoulder.
>In a flash of pain your mind turned off, as you felt on the ground with broken hand.
REEEEEEEEEE
>And you got punch in the back of your head, so you fall in the darkness.

>Be Anon
>Woke up feeling pain.
>As you open your eyes, you feel that you are lying at the table and its cold.
>Oh no, it cold only at the back of your head. Ice cubes?

>>29642196
Ohhh, where am I?
>"sshh, human, don't wake up right now, you got your head hurt, you may fall".
>pretty and self-confident voice of a girl...
>is coming from the lavender-colored mare.
>And also you can see sky blue pegasus with three-colored mane.
>You can see a little bit of fault at her face and want to punch her, but you are now different, so instead you ask them.
Oh, I have been bested. Please tell me the name of the warrior, to whom I lost. Well fought.
>"My name is Rainbow Dash, but I was thinking that you're some kind of monster, but are u some kind of hooman?"
>Lavender bookhorse interrupts her with a concern in her voice.
>"Its a hUman, and he got lucky to have a good skull. Anyway, my name is Twilight Sparkle and we're sorry for that shenanigan. This is my house, castle of friendship. I have patched your hand and head, so you will be okay, but I invite you to stay here for a while, I would like to ask you some questions."

>You feel like it's better to stay here for a while, because you actually would like to tell some stories, as well as hear something about available jobs.
>But the main reason is that you're hungry and it's probably would be dusk soon, so in your situation it is better to accept invitation.
>Not to mention that you actually excited about possibility to talk with someone from mane 6.
My name is the Anon the Human, I seek a place to start new life and I accept your invitation with happiness, and I thank you for your kindness and good threatment. I'm sorry for that I've scared citizens of this town.


And thats all for today, thanks for the upcoming critics and i hope you will enjoy this a little bit

>>29642180
>My lord Kek
S H A D I L A Y

>>29642227
Shadilay

File: 1484887971469.jpg (101KB, 493x514px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 493x514px

>>29641621
>“I sure hope you’ve got somebody you can pray to to save your sorry ass from me,” you seethe.
And that was the point in in the story that turned Anon into a "bad guy", And it was glorious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG6JrqFARRY

>>29642242
I hope he wont kill bookhorse, but i suspect that anon will be somehow disabled and captured, but will manage to break out and flee later

>>29642242
Bookhorse just facilitated the destruction of books, she has lost the blessing of the Great Librarian.

>>29642269
You have a point, but she may think that these books are evil, so blessing may stay with her.

>>29636342

"Easy, easy."
>"Anonymous, stand aside, you know not what she’s capable of.” Celestia’s voice is demure, a stark contrast of what you’re used to.
>Don’t know what Eris is capable of? She’s capable of granting you magic! Or at least the illusion of it!
>”Preach it sistah! Tell Anonymous here all about it!” Eris, while still playful in her choice of words, seems defensive.
>”Quiet you.”
“Seriously, let’s not go full drama. How about some ice cream, eh?”
>Some Ben and Jerry’s would be great about now.
>Cookie dough would be nice.
>Even in this situation, true to her word, Eris magics a cup of it.
>Truly, such display to an onlooker would look like you've conjured it yourself!
>"Anonymous, now isn't the time. Eris I demand you set back everything, or so help me I will unleash the elements upon you again."
>"Like I said Celestia, I did not not do this." Eris grins mischievously.
>You scoop some frozen treat and eat it, letting the refreshing sweetness melt on your tongue.
"I thought the elements were Twilight and co, and aren't they, like, God knows where now?"
>Celestia gave you a look.
>A look that told of an eons old mare that had seen dumb shit in her time, but what you just did might have been THE dumbest shit she'd ever witnessed.
>Eris reclines in the air.
>"Bluffing, really? Really Celly? And I almost fell for it too."
>"Anonymous..." Celestia rubbed her temples with her hooves. "Why would you speak about state secrets so nonchalantly?"
>Wait...
>That's a secret?
>Well shit.
>Eris snakes around the air and wraps her arm around you.
>"Anon and I are chums now, two peas in a pod, amigos - not that you'd know what that's like Celly - why would my friend not inform me of something that concerns yours truly?"
>Eris shifts her attention to you and your treat.
>You were in the process of guiding the ice cream to your mouth.
>Well, if you now have an infinite supply at your disposal, why not share?

File: 576843__safe_solo_cute_princess+celestia_angry_tsundere_cutelestia_artist-colon-hoyeechun_tsundelestia.png (409KB, 1080x1305px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29642278

>You turn the spoon towards Eris and she takes a bite.
>...
>Strange...
>No quip? You might have known this thing for like 15 minutes but she seems like the kind to make some quip on this.
>"Not everything needs a punchline, geez, I don't always take the low hanging fruit."
>Right. Okay.
>"Aaalthough... wasn't this some kind of indirect kiss~?"
"There it is."
>You two chuckle.
>Celestia just stands there, blank expression on her features.
>Is she feeling left out?
>You scoop some more ice cream and move to the stoic looking horse.
"Have some too."
>"Yeah Celly~, indirect kiss me! I always knew that deep down you were in-lesbians with my esteemed self."
>She moves her muzzle away with a scrunch.
>The spoon hits her cheek.
>You readjust.
>She turns the other way.
>"Enough Anonymous!"
>Fine.
>Celestia takes a few steps back, as if trying to see the bigger picture of something.
>She composes herself.
>"Truthfully, you have found friendship, Eris? Forgive my skepticism, but I was under the impression you were a "One gal operation.""
>Eris shrugs.
>"Eh, I was bored, stumbled upon this chaotic existence and thought to myself "Eris, why not treat yourself to something new? Why not finally try that Friendship™ thing Sunbutt always pushed, even though she herself has no friends?"
>Celestia doesn't look amused.
>"Be that as it may, that doesn't give you free reign to do THAT."
>Celestia points to the parking lot again, apparently there was a pile up somehow, and an Eris is being carted away by paramedic Eris while Eris weeps around the flaming mountain of metal.
>Eris just floats around. "That's how I do, Celly, ALL I do." She smugs. "And what can you do about it without the elements?"
>"Clean up your mess, Eris."
>"I didn't do that~" In no point in time could someone have smugged any harder. "It was all Anon. Expansion Pak here's a bona fide wizard."
>Celestia breathes out her nose.

>>29642280

>"Enough of these childish games, Eris. Anonymous lacks magic completely, not even your methods could grant him that which was never there to begin with."
>”Nauh-huh, show her Anon!” Eris pats you on the back, hard enough that, off guard, you drop the cup of half eaten ice cream on the ground.
>She snorts.
>Eeh, magic food is magic.
>Put on the spot, you feel kinda silly doing this, like playing pretend in front of someone not really in the mood to put up with your autistic bullshit.
>But fuck it! No one ever achieved greatness without acting the fool!
>Something you’ve always wanted to do was fly, so that’s what you’re going with.
>But you can’t be affected physically, so no Supermaning, gotta be more roundabout.
>You add some theatrics to what you’re planning and clasp your hands.
>Magic flying cloud.
>From your clasped hands starts leaking mist.
>You open your palms and in front of you, a little below waste level, a golden cloud forms.
>”I saw that, Eris, you did this.”
>”W-What? That’s too sensible, it was all Anonymous!” Eris props herself on her elbow. “I’m dying to see whatever it is Anon will do next!”
>Okay.
>You breathe out and jump…
>You fall through the cloud and faceplant the ground beneath with a splat.
“What the hell is this!?”
>Your head pokes up from the cloud.
>Eris just laughs as she spins.
>”You aren’t pure enough Anon!”
>Fucking what!?
“I’m as pure as the driven snow, Goddamn it!”
>Eris wags her bird claw at you.
>”Tut tut, you forgot about the most important thing: you can’t stand on clouds.”
>…
“Oh.”
>”Srnk… eh… ” Celestia hides her mouth with a wing as she tries to contain herself.
>She can’t.
>She laughs.
>Really loudly.

>>29642281

>After a full thirty seconds of uninterrupted "Ahah"s and "Ohoh"s Celestia catches her breath and wipes a tear from her eye.
>"What kind of scam is this... eheh... THIS is how you "gave" Anonymous magic? I guess I shouldn't be surprised by how unorthodox it is..."
>She clears her throat.
>"Anonymous. Clean up this mess, or else..." She drops the merryment and adopts the same cold authoritative tone she has with Eris.
>Jesus, okay.
>In the blink of an eye, the garden, and how it was before you walked in, returned, sans Eris statue.
>"So, that's it then? You plan to trail along Anonymous like this?"
>Eris brushes her mane aside. "Until he expires, that's the deal. How long do humans live? Not long I hope."
>Ouch.
"Joke’s on you, I'm immortal!"
>She crosses her arms. "Uh-uh."
"I haven't died yet in, like, two decades! You can't disprove that I'm not gonna live eternal!"
>Eris turns to Celestia, a look of bemusement on her.
>"Isn't he just a doll, Celly?"
>Celestia seemed lost in thought before getting the look of someone who reached a conclusion.
>"You are lucky Eris; I am willing to give you a second chance, seeing as you seem to have reflected during your imprisonment and have strived towards friendship."
>"Pfft, don't act benevolent, you simply cannot do anything to lil’ old me without the elements... well... nothing that doesn't put all your little subjects in harm’s way, anyway."
>Celestia's political face cracks a bit.
>"I will tolerate your presence, but do not misunderstand, return to your old ways and your time is numbered."
>Be on your best behavior or you're dead, kiddo, is what she meant.
>"Now, come Anonymous, it's time for lunch."
>Celestia turns around towards the castle.
>Conjure: jelly donut.
>You just wanted to test this shit out and now, on your hand, is the fluffy pastry; jelly hardened and cool to the touch.
>Why have food prepared by "royal chefs" and then eat at the "table" when you can have anything you want on the spot?

File: 405323__safe_solo_discord_rule+63_eris_artist-colon-pasikon.jpg (80KB, 442x659px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29642286

>Celestia looks back at you sternly
>Eeeh, whatever, this can be plenty fun.
>Though you don't want to ruin your appetite.
"Here."
>"Hm? For me? My, you shouldn't have~" Eris teleports the pastry from your hand to hers and sinks her teeth into it.
>She rests a paw on her cheek as she chews.
>"Soo goood~"
>You begin catching up to Celestia, snacking Eris trailing behind you in the air.
>"Though you have to work on that delivery: "Here", really? That's all you can come up with? And also: no beverage? This would go great with some chocolate milk, you know? 2/10 you didn't even say milady."
"Ah! That would be the day."
>Who even says that IRL?
>Surely not the guy that uses the term IRL in real life.
"By the way... is there any place in this world that's constantly suffering from mass starvation?"
>"Why? You wanna use my - ahem - excuse me, your power to give them all the food they could eat?" She dabs the corners of her mouth with the tuft of her tail. “That’s boring,”
"What? No! Just curious."
>"Edgy."
>You two have a giggle as you catch up to Princess Celestia.

File: 1473006106358.gif (2MB, 210x161px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29642290

And with that, the updating trifecta is complete, boy this morning's been quite a productive time for this thread.
Nice to see a new writefag pop up too, this thread's getting a lot of green.
Though I'm mostly winging it here, so I don't know how far or where I'll take this, hope you guys are enjoying it.

>>29642290
>"Here", really? That's all you can come up with? And also: no beverage? This would go great with some chocolate milk, you know? 2/10 you didn't even say milady."
Cuteness overload.

>>29642296
I want a show about this story :)
Eris is like Kek, and the Kek is the life

>>29642297
In my collection this goes

>>29620619
Shitpost harder

>>29642185
Im a programmer, the way its written makes me believe that this is actually made by a program, dont mind it and move on
Photoshop is actually used by designers, programmers have no use for that, just thought i d let ya know unless that s the joke then i missed it completely

Also <we>'ll be watching

>>29642758
<We> whomst?

>>29642281
>You aren't pure enough
I get that reference. Not bad my dude.

>>29642770
What the fuck is with your tripcode?

>>29641621
>Anon begins to regret his decisions and reflect on how much of a bitch he was
>The ponies ruin it
>Anon tries to leave peacefully and go somewhere he can't bother anyone
>The ponies ruin it
The ponies are the true villains of the story

>>29642794
>tfw Anon is the truth victim of all of this
If somehow Anon dies, he better come back as a vengeful spirit and haunt Twilight for being a pedantic cunt.

File: 58.jpg (3KB, 70x70px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29642777
thanks, mate, i've fixed it

>>29642826
I mean what's wrong as in why are you posting with one?

File: 102.jpg (18KB, 320x294px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29642818
if he dies, he most likely will not comeback, since his photo is not the real phylactery of lich, i suppose.
>>29642758
it was a common joke from the beginning of the Internet[s]. It is even more funny when "I'm Photoshop, this is programmer". But hey, maybe its local joke, unheard here before. Its used below unrealistic photos, when people suspect that photo was created via Photoshop. Have a good day, sir! :-)
>>29642290
Have my best and only picture of Eris(I believe this is her)

File: mlfw5427-mlp__eris_shrug_by_nayaasebeleguii-d53gpoj_1.jpg (219KB, 1484x1364px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29642841
found even bigger one

File: Shopped.jpg (60KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 500x500px

>>29642841
>it was a common joke from the beginning of the Internet[s]. It is even more funny when "I'm Photoshop, this is programmer". But hey, maybe its local joke, unheard here before. Its used below unrealistic photos, when people suspect that photo was created via Photoshop. Have a good day, sir! :-)"
You mean shopped? Pic related.
That sounds like a really bastardized version of it to be honest, no wonder that guy got confused, your english skills are kinda poor, friend

>>29642912
i just translated joke from my language to yours, but "shopped" seems like true original. Thanks mate!