My Little Progress : Technology Isn't Magic - Thread 40

First for Ponk!engieneer

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Second for glorious Zebric engineering.

>>29546405
wait wat did i waste a minute of my life on? is this a joke or are sand niggers this stupid

>>29546540
There was a controversy a while back when an Arabic looking kid made what is shown in the video and brought it to school, and an Arabic looking kid carrying a black metal lockbox with wires sticking out of it doesn't go over well due to him not being white, and automatically assumed he has a bomb.
Obviously /pol/ argues nothing is wrong here with automatically assuming it's a bomb because he's now white and Extremist SJWs argue its white oppression and he did nothing wrong.
I feel sad that we assume a box with wires is a bomb, and can't be a Miriad of devices.
Fear is widespread, fear breeds hate.

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>>29546684

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahmed_Mohamed_clock_incident

>On November 23, 2015, Ahmed's family threatened to sue the City of Irving and the school district for civil rights violations and physical and mental anguish unless they received written apologies and compensation of $15 million.

I wish i was given written apologies and compensation of $15 million.

>>29546684
To be honest, I would think anyone carrying that shit around to be a terrorist.

But, I'm pretty sure that's what they were going for.

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We interrupt your political and inevitably inflammatory discussions to bring you news that the new chapter is coming along well, though I only started about a week ago and I plan on fudging up about 2,000 words by Tuesday

Quick question: is the current schedule of "new chapter every two weeks uploaded here on Tuesday, then uploaded to FimFiction on Friday" okay with you guys? I want to give you guys priority access to my story, but at the same time greentext is horrible for paragraph-form writing. Would you prefer I post both here and on FimFic every other Friday, at the same time?

>>29548063
I'd rather you keep doing what you're already doing

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cont form: http://pastebin.com/dxMPxySk

>”No page will go unchecked Master, you can count on me.” he replied as you left the command center.
>You set course to the transport platform on the edge of the sector core.
>Now all left to do is to check on that eldritch horror by mine 6-13d and you will return to the inner sanctum.
>You still have about an hour and a half to before dinner is served.

>SOMEWHERE UNDER MANEHATTAN

>You lay inside the medical pod feeling sore.
>This soreness is new to you, normally any physical damage you sustained could be fixed relatively easy and without any major consequence or discomfort.
>With any major injury you would just replace the damaged parts.
>That's not so easy as anymore.
>Your new body functions more as a unified and interlocked mash of tissues and a super structures rather than the modular group of machines and framework that you're used to.
>Its really annoying.
>You're are Eden, proclaimed sole heir to the world below.
>Or so Father says.
>You're not so sure to be honest.
>Sure, your father has given you more freedom and privileges than any other of his creations.
>The fact that you refer to him as your father is a testament to that.
>But there are many other that would be ready to run the facilities in his absence.
>Some of them better at it than you.
>The overseer brains were designed with this task in mind.
>You in the other hand, just sort of happened.
>Your creation was accidental, that much you know.
>If he wanted he could make someone better than you.
>But then again he seems dead set on molding you into a fit heir.
>You still not understand why he “upgraded” you this way though.
>Sure the organs are much more sophisticated, you can harbor a greater amount of nanomachines and most of the tissue is self-repairing.
>But the self repair process is to slow and the damage sensors are, for some reason, also linked to your emotional center.

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>>29548615
>You always had a emotional reaction to damage, such is pain.
>But before you could just disconnect any sensor or disregard it at will.
>Now its always there to some extent and on the forefront of your mind.
>it doesn't help that its stuck on hair-trigger reaction too.
>You can't walk without having to change your step every so often,.
>Hell, you can't even sit still for too long before having to change position.
>Just staying still for the medical pod to finish patching you up have proven to be a challenge.
>Not that getting into the pod itself was easy, mind you.
>Trying to move around with a wounded, not even broken, leg proved to be too much for you to do alone.
>Granted, it was a pretty big fall.
>But your body sealed all major blood flow to that particular area and the blood that poured from the wound clutched properly.
>Theoretically you should had been able to go about your business as if nothing had happened, and the self-repairing tissue would taken care of it.
>But the pain was so constant and intense that you simply could not walk.
>You limped for a while, but at the end you had to request the aid of sentry drone to return to the inner sanctum.
>Perhaps you should had heed Babylon's advice and just do some exercise at the sanctum gymnasium.
>It was embarrassing enough to come home limping, but then there was Samarra already waiting at the gate to carry you to medical pod.
>You'll have to convince her to not tell your dad about this whole debacle.
>If he finds out that you took your new frame to the old keep for its first ride he will never let you hear the end of it.
>Best case scenario he would ground you for a month, worst case: he would prohibit you to go to the old keep anymore.
>Samarra is one of her most trusted servants and one of her earliest servant-bots.
>Convincing her is going to take all you wit and charisma
“PLEASE DON'T TELL DAD!”
>”Ok”

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>>29548632

>That was easy, very poorly done, but easy.
>Way to easy now that you think about it.
>She's going to tell isn't she.
“Really, you won't tell?”
>”I won't.”
>you honestly can't tell if she is being honest.
>Her face doesn't give anything away nor does her body language.
>It doesn't help that she's build so differently from the common servant-bots
>She looked just like the sculptures at the old keep except for the curved monitor that occupy the upper half of her face and the maid uniform she's wearing.
>Her graceful moves free of any quirk or twitch that could show dishonesty.
>Or honesty for that matter.
>You can't order her to not tell dad since dad clearly outranks you.
>you could order her to tell you if shes lying, but you're not sure if even that could work.
>If she believes that telling you the truth would be against you father wishes then she would lie.
>All you can do is hope she will keep her word.
>”Final diagnosis complete. No further injuries or sickness detected. You may now exit the pod at will.” announced the medical pod as it discharged you.
>Without wasting a second you leap out of the pod.
“Finally jeez!” you exclaim as you begin to stretch.
>”I recommend we return to you quarters my lady, dinner will be ready soon.”
“How soon?”
>”27 minutes and 39 seconds at the end of this sentence, or so tells me Babylon.”
>Was that sass? You're pretty sure there was a little sass towards Babylon a for moment there.
“Lets head back then, I really want to change clothes.”
>”A bath would do you well too, my lady.”
>Ok. Now you're sure that was sass.

thats all i got for now will continue to work on for the rest of the week

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>>29548654
love you my man

>>29548654
That is one weird looking android

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>>29548654
ALL THE SASS!

>>29550923
well that's terrifying

Cardboards

>>29550923
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>29551577

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>>29553921

>>29554511
Man that's a heartbreaking picture

>>29554511
Why are her legs green?

>>29555505
note the file name

>>29554511
>dress slut
>ever being smart enough to make prosthetics for herself

she's a pretty face and even that's pushing it

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>>29555919

>>29556738

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>>29554511

>>29558398
at least she has telekinesis to help her fix it

>>29557524
is it just me or does celestia look a little evil in this pic

infernoing

>>29560354
robots just look that way

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guys
Im going to the carnaval so the next update will take some more time

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>>29560422
I think it's more the pose. It's not difficult to make non-evil looking robots

>>29562683
I'd say specifically the eye rolled mostly back to watch you and the expression of the mouth.

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>>29562242
Carnivals are still a thing?

>>29561747

>>29564210

Am I one of the few people who prefer the stories that take place with typical objects and concepts?

Something like
>''Hey Anon, what's that rectangle you're playing with. How are you doing stuff by just touching it?
or
>''What did you say? What's a computer?

But I see a lot of the authors take the fantastical, science-fictiony route with robots, space travel, portals, and the like. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure those stories are appreciated by the people who read them, but it's just not in my interest.

I'd just like to see where some people stand on the ''sci-fi vs. mundane'' front.

>>29565062
>mundane

Anon brings hydroponics, light-bulbs, electricity and nuclear reactors into the magical land of Qestria (nuclear reactors is not that hard to build, getting nuclear fuel for them are), ponies realizing that they now can grow food when it is snowing outside start to kill each other and rape and do all that good fun things that they were doing before vindigos spoiled all the fun, hilarity ensues.

>>29565168
>Ponies are racist savages who respect and love anon because he has given them back their ancient traditions of trying to conquer and enslave the other tribes.

>>29565062
Flight of the Nightingale is rather mundane. It doesn't have any crazy sci-fi shit. Yoohoo did a good job of keeping it within reason.
Anon isn't a super-genius in it either

>>29565592
Mundane within the realm of technology up until he stopped. The story itself is pretty action-oriented if you're forgetting

>>29563586
In mexico they are

BUNKBEDED

>>29564210
>>29564945

>>29565222
you sure that's ponies and not diamond dogs

10

Ok since the thread is trying to die, Im gonna try and writefag a bit. Be gentle, its my first time.

>It is wet.
>Very wet.
>You look around and find that you can't see anything beyond a

few dozen feet.
>Why are you underwater? You don't remember jumping into the

ocean. Whats going on?
You look all around you, and your lungs begin to burn. You need

to get to the surface, and fast.
>But where is it?
>Before you are able to find your way, a shadow appears in the

distance. A small faded circle that seems to be growing larger.
>Not larger, closer.
>Soon you are dwarfed by a large grey featureless cigar, only a

few rivets giving way to the nature of this beast.
> A submarine has found you, and dread overcomes you as it

doesn't change its course.
>Swimming away would be a great course of action if you could

move, but fear had crept its way into your bones, and your

muscles would not answer.
>Twenty feet
>Ten feet
>Five Feet
>One Foot
>Nothing
>....

>>29571656
Oh shit lets try that again.

>It is wet.
>Very wet.
>You look around and find that you can't see anything beyond a few dozen feet.
>Why are you underwater? You don't remember jumping into the ocean. Whats going on?
You look all around you, and your lungs begin to burn. You need to get to the surface, and fast.
>But where is it?
>Before you are able to find your way, a shadow appears in the distance. A small faded circle that seems to be growing larger.
>Not larger, closer.
>Soon you are dwarfed by a large greyfeatureless cigar, only a

few rivets giving way to the nature of this beast.
> A submarine has found you, and dread overcomes you as it doesn't change its course.
>Swimming away would be a great course of action if you could move, but fear had crept its way into your bones, and your muscles would not answer.
>Twenty feet
>Ten feet
>Five Feet
>One Foot
>Nothing
>....

>>29571678

>You awaken in cold sweat as you take into terms as to what the actual fuck your dream was about.
>You are Anon
>You were a carpenter by trade and dabbled in blacksmithing on the side.
>Were
>Currently you are a resident and guest of some purple pastel horse after you had made a wooden replica of the stargate from SG-1, and on a whim decided to use some tritium to light up the

sigils.
>Turns out tritium can fuck with spacetime or some shit. You don't know, you're a fucking carpenter.
>Anyhow, You are now stuck on a world that seems to be inhabited by sentient horses.
>You don't mind all too much honestly.
>On Earth, it was getting pretty sketchy with the politics and

shit. In a way, it's relieving to be away from it all.
>You do miss your family, but you're sure they will get along

alright for now.
>All you have to do is build another stargate and get some triti-

>"I've never heard of this tritium before, anon. Is it a rock?"
>Fuck
>Well that's an obstacle if you ever seen one.
>"Well, kinda. Hey Twilight, have you heard of the term 'nuclear'?"
>Twilight furrows her brow for a sec then looks back at

you."Can't say that I have. Are these magical things in your

world?"
>"My world doesn't have magic. My species had to carve out their

mark with their bare hands." You say with a little more heat

than you meant to.
>Twilight was flabbergasted."No magic?! But you seem so...

civilized."

>>29571717
>"What." That hit something deep. You may only be a carpenter, but you knew what man had accomplished, and to hear that just erked you to no end.
>"What I mean to say, anon, is that it's a bit hard to imagine a species that could become as advanced as you claim yours is. Just this morning you were raving about how your world had not only buildings higher than all of Manehattan, but that you had cities like that all across the land. Manehatten was a difficult job even with magic. How could a species like your ever hope to accomplish your claims without such powers?"
>While her look did convey a sense of superiority, there was genuine curiosity as well.
>Well you aren't leaving anytime soon anyway, so you might as well do something with your time. And if that means proving lil' miss purpledrink wrong, how can you resist?
>"Tell you what, I'm a craftsman of sorts from my world. If I build something from my world, something that you say shouldn't be possible without magic, will you believe me?" gesturing to yourself as you speak.
>"Hmmm..... I don't know.....can it hurt anyone?"
>"Can't yours?" smiling knowingly.
>"No-ye-maybe.... ok.You got me there. BUT that's beside the point! I need to know if what you plan to make is going to get ponies hurt."

>>29571730
>"I don't actually know yet myself. However beyond getting supplies from the shopkeeper, I don't plan on involving anybod-pony. I can set up shop away from town if that would set your mind at ease."
>"It does make the idea... bearable. Ok you can do your project, but as this is a bet, I want to include my own rules as well. Actually,hold on a sec. SPIKE!!"
>A green a purple blur tumbles down the stairs and bolts to us, say slightly out of breath "Yes Twilight? Waddya need?" "Spike, get a pen and start writing this down."
>Spike pulls out a pen and paper from literally nothing and starts writing down everything Sparkle says.
>"I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, hereby engage in a wager with the human Anon... what is your last name? You never mentioned it."
>"O'Mus. Anon O'Mus. It's Irish."
>"Oh ok...wait what is a Ir... nevermind. Ok Spike, keep writing. ...The human Anon O'Mus to dispute the possibilty of civilization rising without magic. He shall construct a device of his choosing that without a doubt proves his point. If he succeeds, he shall be given a substantial reward worth the value of what he creates. If I am right, Anon must reveal the true nature of his claims and refund the grant I have lent him."
>You narrow your eyes"What grant? I wasn't expecting money yet?"
>"Well of course, dummy. How else are you going to be able to afford this endeavor? I'm mostly likely right about all of this, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious. I figure if I gave you some money to give you a start, I wouldn't have to wait as long for you to either make your thing or come crawling back." She smirked at that last bit.
>Them be fightin' words
>"Ohohoh! Look at you being so high and mighty! Impatient are we? Don't worry, I plan to blow that mind of yours once you see what I'm capable of. Hand over that pen Spike. I got a paper to sign."

>>29571656
>>29571678
>>29571717
>>29571730
>>29571736
That's all I got so far. Let me know if I'm fucking things up already so I know if I should pursue this.

>>29571751
It's a little rough around the edges but you'll never get better if you just quit. So I say keep at it.

>>29571751
Quite good so far. Keep writing please.

>>29566082
Oh yeah, I forgot you were a spanican.

>>29571730
Post moar.

>>29572625

>>29573635

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>>29571858
>>29571870
>>29572625
>>29573635
>>29573807
Ok I think I will keep working on this. And as I go along, I hope to get it from this...

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>>29573918
...To this eventually.

Ghostler

>>29573921
>>29573918
glad to hear that

>>29573921
Why does this exist

>>29575898
to rest your balls on

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>>29576577

>>29577394
probably just to show that they could and that they thought it was hilarious

>>29571751
At least you explain where Anon got funds to fuel his work.
Also, you mind following the regular formatting of "point-of-view character's plain text and others' is >quoted text", kinda makes it harder to read when it's all in green.

b00p

>>29579609
I plan to do that from now on. Kinda just got caught up in trying to get this first part done. Working on it right now.

p10

>>29571717
>Turns out tritium can fuck with spacetime or some shit. You don't know, you're a fucking carpenter.
Best why-is-Anon-in-hoersland I've ever seen. Bravo.

Understands

>>29582258

>magic is radiation

>>29582411
>implying it isn't

>>29582087
>

>>29582258
it's unique I'll give it that

Let's get this show on the road
Chapter 9 has arrived!

Try not to talk to foreigners, if you can manage it; you will risk offending another pony, and heavens knows how rude that is!
-Madame Fetlock

-Leah-

>Whatever those weird log beasts were, they sure burned real warm, Leah thought as she flipped through the book that she had recovered from the bags. It was strange seeing how these creatures - no, horses - had developed books almost exactly like humans had. To find a sheaf of papers (if they were paper) with foreign, alphabetical script on them, bound on one side, was borderline unnerving. Even if this world was uncannily similar to Earth, a book was just too much.
>Leah didn't think the owners would mind as she leafed through the pages, considering they were knocked out and lying on a sheet on the ground with bandages around their bodies. It had been a scary moment when they realized that the aliens probably wouldn't handle human medicine well. Still, it wasn't like they could just ignore the poor things, and considering how similar this world was to Earth their first aid probably wouldn't have too many adverse side effects.
>On the desk in front of her, the contents of the three bags the horses were carrying were neatly spread out and laid on the table. Leah was rather interested in the book and turquoise crystals that she had found among the obvious expeditionary gear, and especially since the purple one was carrying the crystals. It was painfully obvious at first glance that the winged unicorn was another freaky mythological coincidence along with the blue pegasus, but the fact that they were likely intelligent was unbelievable - so unbelievable that Andrew was sitting outside and praying for salvation from this unholy mess.

>>29584943

>Speaking of unholy mess, whatever the purple unicorn did was something new altogether. The hydra was already bizarre enough; a unicorn that could shoot lasers out of its horn was absolutely kooky. Maybe it was some sort of implant or bionic, but that probably wasn't the case. The saddlebags were secured with leather straps and iron belt buckles, and apparently they still used oil lanterns for lighting. Not the kind of technology one would expect from a body-augmenting society. The crystals could have something to do with it, she thought. After all, popular culture had taught her that gems and crystals were pretty darn magical things in fantasy settings, and if unicorns weren't fantastical she didn't know what was.
>"Hey guys, the unicorn's waking up! Get ready..."
>Leah set the blue gemstone she was holding down on the desk and pulled her earbuds out. The cheerful electronic music that she had been listening to disappeared, leaving an auditory void that made Andrew's footsteps all the more noticeable. She jogged over to the front room, where Noah and Andrew nervously twiddled their automatic pistols in their hands. They had decided that Leah would be the first person who would talk to them, since she was the "smart" one. As she took a knee by the purple horse's side, it began to ever so slightly move and shift on the ground. Excitement filled her heart as the unicorn slowly opened its huge eyes, fluttering them in an endearingly cute manner. This was it; this was the moment she would make first contact with alien life. The cultural exchange, the sharing of information...
>And so, humanity's first words with another species were "Uh...H-Hi!...there...Are you okay?"
>The horse looked at Leah, its painfully cuddly face surprising her as it registered what had just happened. It looked around its surroundings, then back at Leah, before it spoke in the unmistakable voice of a female human...

>>29584954
>"Q-Qœnaë ävrúa tusmá? Sonreí apreíden..."
>Oh, right.
>The language barrier was a pretty obvious obstacle, at least in hindsight. Even with the massive similarities between Earth and this world, they should have expected the natives to speak a different language, even if it was French or something. Leah paused, then hurried over to her desk and grabbed a notebook and pencil. The unicorn watched as she quickly scribbled in it in a frenzied fervor, inspiration kicking her into overdrive.
>"What are you doing, Leah?" Andrew asked.
>"I remember something I watched on TV as a kid. It was from a documentary about aliens, I believe, on the Discovery Channel."
>"Oh, boy."
>"No, listen - they said something about a universal language, something every intelligent civilization should be able to understand..."
>"Which is?"
>Leah, satisfied with her drawings, turned and presented it to the confused horse. It looked at it for a second, then stared back at her.
>"Math."

>>29584961

>The page was covered with simple mathematical concepts, the kind that kindergarteners would easily recognize. Basic as they were, they provided a solid foundation with which they could build later communication. The first thing at the top of the page was a list of numbers from one to twenty with dots above each one representing their values. Further down were illustrations of arithmetic operations, with multiple examples highlighting each one. Leah set the pencil and notebook down at the unicorn's side, then expectantly waited for it to react.
>"Look, this is cool and all, but how do you expect that thing to pick that pencil up? I don't see how it's going to write >with hooves."
"Come on, Andrew, it can figure it out. They have books, surely there must be some way-"
>The unicorn's horn suddenly began to glow as Leah, distracted, stopped talking and watched. The two men gripped their handguns tighter, wary of the alien's strange power. A second later, the pencil was surrounded by a purplish-pink aura, and it magically raised itself off the ground and onto the lined paper. All three humans watched, shocked, as the pencil moved itself across the paper, writing out strange symbols in surprisingly elegant handwriting next to each of Leah's drawings. After it had finished marking all of the numbers and operators, it dropped to the ground as its aura faded away.
>Noah and Andrew stared, intimidated, at the unicorn as Leah gasped and stifled an excited giggle. The horse's ears flapped down to the sides of its head, and an unmistakably human expression of discomfort crossed its face.
>"Aww, it looks so cute! Guys, stop scaring it!"

>>29584970

>"You're the one who's all up in its face, Leah. And besides, we have a right to be scared. If any weird crap gets pulled like that again...I don't even want to know."
>She sighed, then looked at the sad alien sitting up on the ground. Somehow, it managed to support itself with its two front limbs, all while giving off a look of dejection. Its emotions were easily recognizable and strikingly similar to those of humans, and Leah couldn't help but gently reach behind the unicorn's head and pat it on its back.
>"Don't touch it, Leah! It might not like...it..."
>"It" froze for a second, then relaxed as she rubbed her hands back and forth on its neck and head. The alien's worry was soon replaced with happiness as Leah's fingers worked their way up behind its ears and began scratching. Leah shared the unicorn's smile as she comforted it, eager to have learned something from her endeavors. While Andrew and Noah stood in awe, she hurried over to her desk and grabbed another notebook, muttering as she frantically scribbled notes into it.
>"...base-eight...what a weird addition sign, that looks like...Alright!"
>She turned around and presented another series of math problems, this time involving some basic algebra questions. As she handed it to the horse, Leah took a seat by it and watched it quickly translate the human equations into its own numeric system, solve them, then translate them back into a shakier series of Arabic numerals and "X"-es.
>"Holy hell, that unicorn is way too expressive," Noah whispered to Andrew as he leaned into his ear. "The way it smiles...the fact it smiles...are we sure we should be so inviting?"

>>29584980

>"I wouldn't worry about that," Andrew quietly replied. The two watched as Leah and the unicorn happily conversed through the notebook, mathematical expressions and formulas acting as their medium. Leah would write out a math problem, then the unicorn would translate and solve it. The unicorn would then write up another problem for her to solve, which she would translate and figure out in turn. At that moment, neither Andrew nor Noah wanted to break their little bubble of enchantment and wonder.
>Instead, Noah grabbed his nicotine-pen from the nearby table and took a long draw from it. He savored the minty flavor and mind-sharpening feeling of high-dosage vapor juice as he watched Leah scratch and pat the alien as if it were a dog. Nicotine was a bit of a habit of his (not nearly as bad as his father's chain-smoking addiction), but recent events had forced him to ration out his smoke breaks. He only had half of a dropper bottle's worth of juice left, and he didn't want to use it all up at once - but this was something truly worth enjoying.
>"You're gonna relax right now, Noah?"
>"I can't help it, Andrew. This is a truly magical moment, and I want to enjoy it," he retorted as he puffed out a dense cloud of water vapor and nicotine. There was something whimsically enjoyable to Noah about a girl and a unicorn having fun together, an experience he hadn't expected to think of ever since first grade. It gave a feeling of amusement and elation, and a little bit of something else, too - something he also hadn't anticipated in quite a while.
>Hope.

>>29584986

-Applejack-

>Applejack woke up with a start, her dreams plagued with visions of timberwolves and death. Sweat rolled down her head as the nightmares slowly faded away from her memory. She remembered running away, away from the timberwolves that chased them through the forest. Then she ran out of the forest, then into the meadow, then there were loud cracks and snaps...
>The earth pony held her hooves out in front of her, focusing on the clean, white bandages that were wrapped around them. Applejack let out a sigh of relief, grateful that she was alive. The last thing she remembered was a timberwolf pouncing on her, dragging her to the ground...no, she wasn't dead.
>As Applejack rested, her senses began to take in more and more of her surroundings. She was lying on a tarp on the ground, and a crisp white blanket covered her orange body. The ceiling of the building she had rested under was crudely tacked together with planks of wood, and a strange white light emanated from somewhere in front of her. Applejack groaned as she pulled herself up off of the ground - then grunted as a hoof pushed her down.
>"Don't stress yourself, Applejack. You're hurt."
>"T-Twilight? Are you okay? What happened?" The feeling of concern and worry was mutual between the two ponies as they stared into each other's eyes.

>>29584993

>"Long story. Right now, all that's important is that you get some rest."
>"I don't think I can, Twi. Not until you fill me in on what happened."
>Applejack lay motionless on the ground as she listened to Twilight talk. She explained how the strange creatures had helped fend off the timberwolves, then how the three of them had been seriously injured, then about the fact that the creatures took them in and healed them. She talked about how they were so different, how they were so strange yet so familiar to her. About how they were intelligent, fascinating, curious...
>"...and they were so tall! At least a head and a half taller than I am. They stand on two legs, so they're pretty thin, though...oh, here they come! I think this is the female one...judging by their steps. Oh yeah, don't be too surprised!"
>The creature rounded the corner and looked at Applejack, who returned the stare back at it. It stood on two legs and had two other legs dangling from its sides, and the side legs seemed to have five stick-like protrusions from the ends that flexed and stretched as it looked at her. Its torso and lower legs were covered by green and blue clothing, as were its feet. The face was rather odd, with no snout and small, beady eyes. A pair of boxy spectacles sat in front of its eyes, occasionally catching the glint of the crisp white lamps nearby.
>Twilight grabbed a nearby notebook and pencil with her magic off of a table, then handed it to the creature. It grabbed it out of the air, then drew a series of foreign symbols on it. When it handed the notebook to Twilight, Applejack watched her write something back in the same strange glyphs, then hand it to the creature. It nodded, a grin forming on its face as it left the room.
>"What was that about, Twilight?"

>>29585007
>"It was asking if you were okay. I said 'yes', and I think you'll be fine for now. I want you to rest a bit longer, though. I don't want you to stress yourself."
>"But what are-" Applejack almost managed to ask as she tried to get up out of the covers. A sharp pain shot across her stomach, and she gasped as she lay back down.
>"Shh. Only rest now."
>With a sigh, Applejack relaxed her muscles and looked around the room. The walls were all made out of the same planks as the roof, and they were tacked together crudely with nails. Crates of various sizes and shapes were piled all around her, some of which were made of a strange, black material. Several tubes that served as lights glowed from the ceiling, with cords trailing out of them and off somewhere else.
>"Where are we? How long has it been?"
>"Well, do you remember the meadow we were in?"
>"Are we in that house?"
>"Yes, Applejack. As for what time it is, I think it's been about a day since that happened. We've been knocked out for quite a while. It's night now, I think."
>"...alright."
>The earth pony suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion hit her body. Her worries had melted away, and she felt at ease. With a smile of relief on her face, Applejack drifted back into her slumber.
>Everything would be fine.

That's all I have for these two weeks. Give me your questions, comments, suggestions, and critiques, and I'll be glad to answer them!

>>29585015
when do they fuck

>>29585007
>It stood on two legs and had two other legs dangling from its sides, and the side legs seemed to have five stick-like protrusions
Again, they have minotaurs, they know what arms and fingers are.

>>29585015
Normally I wouldn't mind the language barrier, but from what I can remember Luna didn't have that issue when she entered the trio's dreams.

>>29585407
I've just brushed that off as dreamshit.

>>29585507
Makes sense to me, plus it opens the possibility of learning the languages through the mlp equivalent of an asari mind meld

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>>29585229
This

>>29585407
Ugh, no. She couldn't actually read the books since they were in alien language, at the same time she couldn't "read" the meaning of the words in them, lest she wished to attract the dreamer's attention.

>>29587359
>Holding the weapon and the sticks, she looked further into the book, flipping to the first page.

CAUTION: Follow safe firearm handling procedures before handling Glock products:

• ALWAYS assume the weapon is loaded and ready to fire

• NEVER point the weapon at anything you do not wish to destroy

• ALWAYS keep fingers off the trigger unless ready to fire...

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>>29587693
>muh glawk 360
Could you have picked a worse brand?

>>29584231

>>29587693
Wew, looks like I was wrong then.
But wasn't there something like that in Leah's dream? Something something weird book, something something must be about alchemy because pictures of beakers and shit.

>>29588339

galvanizer

>>29588376
I'll have to go back and check

>>29587772
Guy already admitted to not being much if a gun nut. Are you really going to bust his chops ?over using a well known gun?

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Glad to see you guys are eating my trash up, but does this chapter seem a bit different? I don't know what it is but this one feels slightly off from the rest

>>29585229
>it's another "the author forgets shit that he wrote about a month ago" episode
thanks for catching that, fixed in the FimFic version
>>29585407
Dreams are easy for Luna to understand because they're pure thought. She doesn't have to know English to understand "weapon", because that's a common idea between both species. "Pistol" is harder to understand because the horses don't have guns, so the concept isn't mutually known. Imagine reading "The Floop NurgleTurgle is a highly deadly weapon, capable of firing 600 baneplanes per second" in a dream. You know what "deadly" is, but not "Floop" because we don't have the idea of a Floop.
>>29587772
>glock 360
ok sir, I will rectify that and change the weapon to a .45mm colt & smith M911 with high-capacity bullet clips

Hey guys. What's a good name for a seafaring pony. Need ideas.

>>29591683
Sea Spray, Water Bubble, Ocean Mist, Oak Beam, etc

>>29591683

Bluenose - Famous Canadian racing boat, might work better for a diamond dog crew mate

White Squall - Sudden and violent windstorm at sea which is not accompanied by the black clouds generally characteristic of a squall. Also a song by Stan Rogers about a sailor going overboard due to not following safety procedure

Green Fiddler- Fiddler's Green is sailor heaven

>>29591683
Exxon Valdez

>>29591827
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bMCrLkCUds

>>29591683
rolling main re spelled "Mane"

>>29591954
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pla7nDYciI4

>>29588977

>>29591954
was not expecting that fiddler's green song

>>29593398
were you expecting the tragically hip?

>>29594130
It is the first song that on the list when I go to google or youtube and type in fiddler's green

Schizophrenia

>>29596807

scared luna id adorable

>>29591115
>change the weapon to a .45mm colt & smith M911 with high-capacity bullet clips
I am all for this but remember anything with high capacity is assault.
>High capacity assault bullet clips for example.
Also barrel cover that prevents your hands from being burned is
>shoulder thing that goes up

>>29597887
>>29591115
speaking of m1911s, Portgate if you want to go into to detail about this handgun you could take a page of MGS3 handbook about a customised version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sTgRA2BlZs
https://youtu.be/9A3dJjArFME?t=3m58s

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>>29597887
>.45mm 1911
>.45mm
>mm
get out

>>29598827
What is this a gun for ants?

>>29598827
Wtf.

>>29597887
>.45mm
You mean a Kolibri, right?
>1911
Ok, you're just fucking retarded.

>>29599663
>.45mm
Its smaller than 2mm.

That's the smallest round to exist...

I think its a gun FOR ants.

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>>29597887
Nobody else recognized this bait?
Come on, it's obvious. Reread '.45mm colt & smith M911 with high-capacity bullet clips', slowly.

>>29599727
>>29599709
>>29598827
.45mm would be the ultimate armor piercing eargensplittenloudenboomer with necked down 30×173 mm case.

I can virtually guarantee you Mach 7.5 (@sea level) muzzle velocity and 1200mm RHA penetration @100 meters

>>29599835
I think most people only really looked at >>29598827's post before maybe giving a quick glance at the original to see if it did say .45mm and ignored what came after it.

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/mlk/ pls...

terminataterater

>>29599835
It's surprising the kind of bait people fall for

>>29601853

page 9

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I might as well dump what I have. Continuation of
>>29571736

>Well fuck.
>You are now offically homeless. After you signed the document, Twilight showed you the fine print she somehow snuck on there.
"Anon will secude his work away from the populace to prevent serious injuries and disasters from accuring."
>Well you did mention it in the first place, so I guess you'd better suck it up buttercup.
>She may have kicked you out, but she wasn't completely heartless. She had given you a rather large sum of bits, along with a pack of supplies and a sealed letter she called your "Get out of Jail Free" card. Didn't even know they had that game.
"Well it's a start, but now I gotta find a good place to squat. I wonder if she gave me a map?"
>Turns out she did. It was a little generic, but it does the job. Your eyes are immediately drawn to a bay next to some mountains. It looked to be the perfect spot to set up shop, with a major city being (relatively) nearby and the railway being close as well. That will make importing stuff much easier.
>Looks like you're heading to Los Pegasus.

>>29604571
>You are Rainbow Dash.
>You were taking a nap after having shuffled some clouds over to the Pie's Rock Farm, giving them much needed relief from the heat of summer.
>This cloud was nice.
>It was the perfect firmness to hold you up, but soft enough to let you sink in just a bit.
>Ahh this is nic-
"OW FUCK!"
>You almost fall off your cloud. Who could be yelling at this hour?
>You look down and roughly make out the shape of the ape that Twilight had taken in.
>You thought he was pretty cool,being as weird as he was, you just wished he hadn't just woke you up.
>Well you're up now so you might as well see what mess he's in.
"Hey Anon, whats going on?"
>He had apparently tripped over a root and was busy dusting himself off.
"Hey you hurt?"
"Just my pride." he said, grinning in your general direction.
"Oh cool. Whats with the pack? Wait are you leaving already?!"
>But he just got here! Someone needs to start talking.
>He leaned back and rested himself on his pack.
"I may have made a bit of a bet with Twilight. You can learn more from her but basically I need to hermit myself away to protect everyo-pony."
"Uh-huh. From what? You going to 'explode' or something?"
>Somehow you knew Twi was involved with this. You'll have to interrogate her later.
"OH! You're a pegasus, what do you know about Las Pegasus?"

>>29604576
"Weelll, if your goal is to get as far from ponykind as possible, I can't think of a worse place to go. It's pack full of them."
"Oh well actually I was look-"
"And you gotta look after your wallet while there as well. Can't tell ya how many times I flew away from there a hundred bits lighter than I flew in."
"Actually I was thinking about this one spo-"
"OH and if you go you gotta try the cas-"
"DASH!"
>It was at this point you decided to shut up.
"Got your attention? Ok, like I was trying to say, I was thinking about setting up shop close to the mountain range there, and the perfect spot seems to be in that forested area next to Las Pegasus. I was wondering what you knew about the place?"
>Well he wasn't lying about the hermit thing. Wonder if this bet is about who can make the best Luneshine?
"You gotta map? I happen to know the area pretty good."
>A little too good, man you miss academy breaks.
>Anon grabs out his map and lays it on the ground.
"There wouldn't happen to be a pen in there too, would there?"
>There was. Twilight packed this bag, didn't she.
"Ok, so I happen to know about a small clearing right on the coast that seems to be what you are looking for." You mark an X on the map."This clearing is close to a path that goes from Las Pegasus into the mountains, but since only hicks live up there, no one uses it anymore. Its a great place to hide from the poli..er..society!" Nodding sheepishly.
"That sounds perfect! Are there alot of shops in Las Pegasus? A tool store perhaps?"
"Yeah! Because Las Pegasus has it's own dedicated railway, they have alot of stuff brought in that normally wouldn't be possible. I'd check out Stears. They have everything there."
>You get the weirdest look from Anon. Was it something you said?

>>29604579
"Stears. Really?"
"Uh yeah. What about it?"
"Oh it's nothing. Forget about it."
"..."
"What?"
"Are you going to be gone for awhile? Not that I care or anything! Its just... Make sure to visit from time to time, alright?"
>Boop
"I wouldn't worry about that. Twilight has my stuff, so I will be back eventually. Hold the fort down 'til I come back okay?"
"O-okay.."
"Alright I gotta get to the station soon or I'll miss my ride. See ya around, Dash!"
"Remember to come back some time!"
"I will, you got my word."


That's all I got for now. Did I do well enough on RD? Found it hard to work out how'd she say things.

>>29604589
I think you did a decent enough job writing her

>>29596807
No, Luna. You're living in a body made of tiny beings.

>Anon finds himself in future!Equestria
>High tech stuff and machinery everywhere
>Somehow he finds his way into the Celest-AI source code
>She has a Luna class for code safety
>The Twilight function for defines integrity is still being perfected though
>Luckily that s exactly where Anon decided to pry
>Nothing is deleted, nothing is changed from what had already been coded
>All that is done is a new line being added
"#define NULL rand()"
>And that s how Equestria was unmade

>>29605253
>#define NULL rand()
Ha! That's a good one.

>>29605253
Reminds me of the machine that can make anything starting with N in the Cyberiad.
The creators friend asks it to create nothing, so it starts disappearing everything, but when told to recreate them it could only recreate everything starting with N, any future attempts with other letters failed.

>>29605253
>Celest-AI
And now I'm sadly reminded of a dead story from here that i liked

>>29606090
its dead? damn i've been gone too long

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>>29605253
C++ was a mistake

>>29606501
It wasn't around for long. I'm pretty sure it died shortly after trying to be a full story instead of just short snippets

PROGRESS

Exacerbated

>>29604589
Not much to say but you did good, keep up the good work

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>>29607101
Fuck you, I bet you like Java.

>>29608707
>>29610610

10

endanger

>>29367705
https://youtu.be/xnL3slAfbuM

>>29611354
C#
Because I'm fucking lazy and I like when stuff actually work as expected.

>open tab
"Hey, this looks promisi-"
>sci-fi bullshit
>close tab
Repeat forever.

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mind is empty, body is numb
and friend just hook me up with fallout 4
I will still write
but even slower
excuse while i spend the next +50 hours modding the shit out of tod's game

>>29616605
5 Gauss is not a strong magnetic field. The Earth's magnetic field is only 0.5 gauss

>>29618075
The artist probably saw an MRI 5 Gauss line warning and thought it was super stronk.

>>29616605
Pone NMR is worst NMR
>>29618075
>>29618617
I don't think the artist knew what he was trying to draw.

>>29619509
>Phonograph
>Not using Ponograph as the filename
>Shitty Puns and Memes are the lifeblood of 4

>>29619571
>>Shitty Puns and Memes are the lifeblood of 4
I think you dropped 4 letters at the end there

>>29620317
No, he's clearly got a 4 there...

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>>29620715
I meant the chan part of 4chan

Porkbellies

>>29618044
FO4 does not have that many mods compared to previous ones, you are only going to spend 50 hours if you are running 2G or EDGE internet connection. That said I'm finding new shit after 200 hours of playtime, just ignore main story it is garbage.

>>29618044

I've said this before. but I've always pictured your Anon looking like Elder Maxim(also wearing steampunk goggles).

>>29622908
I can mentally picture that

early morning bump

>>29625724
at 1pm

Arsenicj

>>29622409
bop

Are we on hiatus for now? Where's the writefriends?

>>29628673
Portgate been pretty consistent updating on tuesdays so there should be an update later today

>>29627788
HOW DO I DICK THIS CYBORG HORSE?
WHERE DOES THE PENIS GO?

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Not happy with this one. I don't think I ever will be. This is the closing word on a pretty massive project, I don't believe it's within my abilities to end it properly. Hopefully you will enjoy it regardless.

>Five years.
>It’s been five long years since you took the throne.
>Five years of isolation.
>Five years of failure.
>Five years since you last smiled.
>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>And you are miserable.
>You sit upon your throne in your crystal tree palace.
>Surrounded by vacant thrones reserved for ponies you don’t see anymore.
>A reminder of a better time.
>An era that has past.
>But it doesn’t need to be over.
>Your friends are still out there, you just haven’t had a chance to visit them.
>But maybe it’s time to catch up.
>Just have a friendly, casual get-together.
>Though your guards would never let you out unescorted.
>The moment you set hoof outside of your throne room they’ll want to know what’s happening.
>There IS another way though.
>You’ve done it a few times before.
>It’s just difficult.
>You sit still and close your eyes.
>And focus.
>A great strain is put on your mind as you carefully draw upon your magic.
>Energy starts to build up in your damaged horn.
>Even years later it hasn’t fully recovered, the tip is still ragged and sore.
>But it’s useable.
>If you’re careful.
>One wrong move and the magic will short out painfully, arcing through the empty space that should be filled with solid bone.
>You hope that it’ll finish healing soon-

*ZZZT*

>A sharp surge of pain punishes you for letting your thoughts wander.
>But you’re undeterred.
>You quiet your mind and try again.
>Carefully building up your spell, delicately avoiding the tender parts of your horn.
>Gently exploring your magic as one might probe a broken tooth.
>A few minutes pass.

>>29629435
>Then quite suddenly, you vanish in a flash of light.
>And reappear on the outskirts of Ponyville.
>The quaint village you’ve called your home in recent history hasn’t changed much during your rule.
>You’ve done what you can to preserve the layout and lifestyle of this place.
>You’ll preserve the spirit of Ponyville no matter how many ponies come and go.
>Even though it’s mostly ‘go’ these days.
>That’s a concern you’ll save for later.
>Right now you’re going to go see a friend.
>You boil with excitement at the prospect.
>The thought of not being a queen.
>Of just being you.
>Even if only for a day.
>But the question remains.
>Where to first?
>It’s been so long, you don’t know what they’re up to these days.
>They might be too busy to pal around at a moment’s notice.
>Maybe it would be best to start with somepony who’s always excited to see a friend.
>Somepony who will make time to catch up.
>Maybe you should go visit Pinkie-
>Your excitement fades.
>Your spirit is quite sober.
>Pinkie Pie is no longer your friend.
>She made that abundantly clear when she moved to Canterlot.
>Her “I’ll miss you everypony except for Twilight because she’s a fat ugly bitch and isn’t invited to this party” party sounded so fun.
>To this day you’re not sure why you let such impudence pass.
>You should have made an example of her.
>But it was Pinkie Pie…
>You let out a long sigh as you yearn for an earlier time.
>One in which you could count Pinkie as one of your friends.
>Maybe Rarity-
>She’s not your friend either.
>After what you did to Sweetie Belle she said she’d never forgive you.
>You were just trying to figure out why Rarity was so generous.
>You needed to know what made her tick so you could inspire others to be as good as her.
>You thought for sure she’d understand.
>Besides, they were just foal’s teeth.
>It’s not like she won’t grow new ones.
>Even so, she threw a rock at you.

>>29629440
>Said she never wanted to see your face again.
>Carousel boutique stands empty in the heart of town awaiting her return.
>You’re not sure why you’re ordering that it be preserved.
>Not long ago you were ecstatic.
>Now you’re not sure what you are.
>You drag your hooves over to Applejack’s farm.
>The Apple family is always always busy, but they’re also always hospitable.
>You stay on the ground to avoid attention.
>You’re sure you could scare any ponies away if they were to bother you.
>Your magic may be unreliable.
>But as queen you have other ways to intimidate.
>But you’d rather avoid all that.
>Being queen is tiresome.
>Sweet Apple Acres comes into view looking the same as ever to your untrained eye.
>As far as you can tell nothing’s changed over the years.
>Perhaps if you were a farmer you’d have noticed the subtler changes as you walked through the orchard.
>The different pruning practices, the early signs of pest infestation, the slightly premature harvest…
>Had you noted these things it might have come as less of a surprise to you when you found an unfamiliar pony working the fields.
>A chocolate coloured mare is hauling their harvest towards market.
>Somepony who doesn’t appear to be part of the apple family.

“Who are you?”

>The words come out far more hostile and accusatory than you’d intended.
>For all you know they’re a hired hoof and have every right to be here.
>But you made it sound like an accusation.
>She immediately starts groveling.

“Where’s Applejack?”

>That time it came out as a genuine question.
>You managed to ask with serene grace.
>Like a proper ruler should.
>Like Princess Celestia would…

>”I’m sorry, your majesty! I don’t know who that is!”

“You don’t- she’s the owner of this farm!”

>”Cherry Berry owns this farm your highness.”

>>29629449
>You stare at the frightened and confused mare in shock.
>Applejack sold the farm?
>There’s no way she would ever do that.
>It’s her parent’s legacy!

“When did this happen?”

>”She was assigned to tend to it after your forces drove out the heartless!”

>One of the Apple family was heartless?
>You had no idea.
>But that means…
>You drove Applejack and her whole family away from the farm.
>You took their home and gave it to somepony else.
>She’s NEVER going to forgive you.
>You walk away in silence with a heavy heart as the weight of reality starts to come down on you.
>You’ve pushed away most of your friends.
>It’s just Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash left.
>The rest hate you and are never coming back.
>You will never again attend a Pinkie Pie party.
>You’ll never meet up with Rarity at the spa.
>You’ll never again be hosted by the Apple family.
>All those things will forever be out of your reach.
>But at least you still have Fluttershy.
>And Rainbow Dash would NEVER abandon you.
>Though you’ve no idea where she is right now.
>With Dash, she could be pretty much anywhere.
>Napping.
>Fluttershy on the other hoof will probably be at her cottage.
>You set course for your quietest friend’s abode.
>But as you approach you feel something wrong.
>Unwholesome.
>You can feel a strange melange of magic.
>It feels similar to Discord’s, being wild and erratic.
>You stop for a moment to probe the ambient mana.
>It’s definitely coming from Fluttershy’s cottage.
>It constantly changes form slipping away from you the moment you think you have a feel for it.
>It seems to lack direction and purpose, instead simply BEING.
>This particular blend of magic is almost identical to Discord’s.
>Except that it feels almost kind.
>Reassured by the gentle nature you push onward.
>Discord comes out of nowhere and grabs your throat, throwing you violently to the ground.

>>29629456
>”You stay away from her!”

>You struggle violently as he presses down on your neck.
>You can’t breath!

>”Look at you. You REEK of the taint. I won’t let you hurt Fluttershy!”

>Your struggling starts to grow weak.
>Your vision starts to fade out.
>And quite suddenly, he lets go.
>You start to greedily drink in the air.

>”EUUUGH. I can’t believe I touched it!”

>Discord gingerly grabs the arm that he was only recently using to strangle you.
>He rips it off and throws it away in disgust.
>A few seconds later a brand new arm pops into existence to replace it.
>You stare up at him in wonder.
>There’s no doubt about it.
>The source of the gentle magic is Discord.
>How could Discord feel gentle?
>He just strangled you!

>”Consider that your only warning. Now get out of here before I have to touch you again! Fluttershy has enough trouble without dark mages running about.”

“What trouble?”

>You manage to choke out the words between breaths.
>You probably should be running.
>But he doesn’t seem to want to hurt you any further.
>And you want to know what’s going on here!

>”Oh, so NOW you’re interested. Five years without a word and you suddenly show up all concerned about your ‘dear friend’.”

>Sarcasm literally drips from those final words
>Turns out sarcasm is orange.

>”Follow me. But don’t touch anything!”

>He leads you out to the back of the cottage, hissing whenever you draw too close.
>And on the other end you can see Fluttershy sitting perfectly still in a small clearing.
>She’s surrounded by small markers in neat little rows.
>In the middle is a relatively large stone marker.
>She reaches out and gently places one trembling hoof upon it.

>”Time to go.”

>>29629462
>There’s an air of disgust in his command
>You take one last quick glance at Fluttershy.
>Her mane and coat clearly haven’t been cared for.
>You’re pretty sure she hasn’t been eating enough.
>And then you start to walk away.
>Discord escorts you out.

“What happened?”

>”Ponies aren’t the only ones who need magic to live. I’m sure you remember all the magic disappearing a few years back. A lot of her animals didn’t handle it too well. It’s nothing unusual, they die all the time. But normally they go off in the woods to die alone. She can delude herself into thinking they just moved out. But that’s not so easy when there are corpses lying around.”

>So many markers.
>At least a hundred of them all at once.

“And the big one?”

>”I never understood why she liked Angel. That rabbit was a menace.”

>Was.

“And I haven’t been there for her at all. I’m a terrible friend.”

>”Finally, something we can agree on.”

>His words sting.
>But they also ring true.

“I should go talk to her.”

>”Stay away, Twilight. You’ll just make things worse as you are.”

>He’s right.
>You HATE to admit it, but Discord is right.
>You just hurt the ponies close to you.
>Fluttershy doesn’t need that right now.

“Please take good care of her. She doesn’t deserve to suffer like this.”

>You move to leave.
>There’s nothing more you can do here.
>Up next is Rainbow Dash.
>But you’ve no idea where she is now.

“Discord?”

>You turn to him.
>He’s standing exactly where he was a moment ago.
>Watching.
>Making sure you’re leaving

“Do you know where I can find Dash?”

>”Of course. Unlike you she’s been keeping in touch. You’ll either find her in The Institute or Canterlot palace.”

“The Institute?”

>”Lower Cloudsdale.”

“LOWER Cloudsdale?”

>He starts walking towards you.
>His heavy steps and scowl tell you you’ve overstayed your welcome.

>>29629470
>You run off as the magic coming from him grows progressively less gentle and kind.
>But you can’t help but wonder.
>Has his magic become kinder?
>Or are you just used to a crueler blend?
>Are you just used to your own?
>You don’t know.
>You really need somepony to talk to.
>And the only one that’s left is Rainbow Dash.
>It’s probably not okay to leave unannounced.
>But things won’t fall apart from just a short trip.
>But first you need a disguise.
>You sit beneath a tree and close your eyes.
>Then you stop thinking.
>You focus on nothingness, just like Princess Celestia taught you.
>You purge your mind of thoughts, feeling, emotions.
>Eventually there’s nothing.
>Not even you.
>You carefully craft a spell, gently coaxing the magic into form.
>The entire universe is your magic taking shape.
>It starts to fray, you move and bend the spell.
>Several minutes pass before all the magic suddenly slips away.
>You did it.
>It’s not the most powerful spell, but you’re proud of it.
>If you were well it would be nothing special.
>But you’re just happy to cast anything these days.
>A low level illusion to make you look like the least interesting pegasus possible.
>No distinctive features, a generic cutie mark, dull colours.
>Nopony should pay attention to you now.
>And so you take wing and head to Cloudsdale.
>Your journey takes the better part of the day as you move at a leisurely pace.
>Ponies are probably freaking out back at the palace.
>You don’t care.
>You NEED to see Rainbow Dash.
>As you draw close you see something very peculiar.
>Houses, thousands of them.
>Not made of cloud though, sturdy brick and mortar shelters cover the ground below the flying city.
>At the center of it all sits an imposing structure made of concrete.
>It stands three stories tall with no windows.
>A quick survey shows that the entrances are heavily guarded with numerous armed ponies blocking access to all save a select few.

>>29629476
>And among that select few is none other than Rainbow Dash!
>You swoop down to the doorway-

>”On the ground, missy!”

>The four guards standing at the doorway turn to face you.
>They each hold a short crystalline stick.
>You’re not sure what they are, but the magic radiating from those sticks is extremely imposing.
>They’re probably dangerous.
>You quickly obey the order, uneager to find out what they would do.
>And you start to back away.

“I’m sorry! I just thought I recognised a pony going in there!”

>A pegasus sneakily grabs you from behind and pins you to the ground.
>You start to struggle against them.
>To your surprise they’re pretty weak!
>You’re slowly squirming out of the bind.

>”She’s strong! Hurry up with that dispel!”

>And just like that soothing chill runs down your spine.
>Something feels wrong.
>Empty.
>Calm.

>”Oh! Let her go.”

>They release you and step aside.
>You look around wondering what happened, why they’re no longer looking to tackle you.
>The answer makes itself obvious when you look at yourself.
>Purple.
>Your disguise is gone!

>”You’re on the list. The prophet wants to talk to you.”

>”Sixth commandment! Stop calling him a prophet!”

>The guards start bickering amongst themselves.
>You’re strongly tempted to leave.
>This large, soulless structure looms over you.
>The guarded entrances and concrete structure are reminiscent of a prison.
>But Rainbow Dash is in there.
>You hesitantly walk in.
>The interior is reminiscent of an office building with a receptionist desk.
>Long corridors jut out in each direction, illuminated by harsh un-natural light.
>Rainbow Dash stands at the front desk arguing with the receptionist.

>”I don’t CARE if he’s busy. You’re not getting this thing, I’m only giving it to Spike!”

>Spike!
>Spike’s here?

>”What’s on that thing that’s so important anyway?"

>>29629482
>”G- I don’t know! Celestia said it was important! Besides, I wouldn’t tell you even if I DID know!”

>”I’m sorry, I can’t let you through without an appointment.”

>Rainbow Dash walks away.
>But she doesn’t move to leave.
>She just walks down one of the corridors.

>”Go ahead and stop me.”

>You run up after her excitedly

“Rainbow Dash! It’s been too long, how have you been?”

>She makes a rude gesture and keeps moving.
>That doesn’t make sense though.
>She must be confusing your voice for somepony else.

“It’s me! Twilight! Your friend!”

>”Last I checked I didn’t have a friend named Twilight.”

“What are you talking about? We’re the best of friends!”

>”You don’t get it, do you? I know what you did to Rarity. I know what you did to Applejack. You stabbed them in the back. You’re dirt.”

>A chill runs through you to your core.
>Even Rainbow Dash hates you.
>You sit down on the floor.
>And you start crying.
>You abandon all dignity as you openly weep in public.
>You’ve got nothing left.
>Every one of your friends!
>You’re ALL ALONE!
>Something starts gently scratching you behind your ears.
>You recoil in shock and fear, but when your eyes open you don’t see a monster.

“Spike?”

>He’s a bit taller than you remember.
>Not by much though.
>His eyes are half closed.
>Big dark bags sit beneath them.
>He looks incredibly tired.

>”Good to see you, Twilight.”

>You run up and hug him, not even caring about the metal built into his body.

“Oh Spike! I haven’t seen you since...”

>Since he crawled into your home broken and bloodied.
>And you swung an axe at him.

>”It’s okay, Twi. It wouldn’t have hurt me anyway. I’m a dragon. Why does everypony keep forgetting that?”

“But-”

>”Shh. It’s okay. Come, let’s get out of this hall.”

>He leads you down the hallway for a bit.
>Then you take a turn left.
>He pushes through the double doors to reveal a cozy, warmly lit room.
>This one is completely different from the rest of the building.
>The concrete floors have been covered with a velvet red carpet.
>You’re sure it’s not actually velvet, but it is quite pleasant looking.
>Hanging from the walls are a few paintings, mostly scenery.
>A few oak chairs sit in the corner, facing the center.
>Where you see a heavy desk littered in papers.
>And behind that desk you see why this room in particular is decorated.

“Rarity!”

>The first thing you notice is the device clipped to her ear
>It holds a small glowing display just before her right eye.
>You can’t make out what’s on it though.
>Next you notice something she’s likely quite upset about.
>The last few years have been hard on her.
>You can see some greying in her mane already.
>For somepony so young and so vain, it must have been quite a shock when the first silver hair came out.
>She glares at you from behind her desk, smothered with neatly ordered stacks of papers.
>And hurls a stapler at your head.
>Spike’s arm moves with unnatural speed.
>A shot rings out.
>And the stapler flies away harmlessly.

>”Here, come into my office.”

>Spike walks to the back of the room and opens a door acting as though nothing had happened.
>Rarity tried to hurt you.
>You are going to BREAK H-
>No.
>No, that’s not right.
>You follow Spike into his chamber.
>Just before closing the door you turn to face your former friend.

“I know it’s not worth much, but I’m sorry.”

>She ignores you.
>You turn around.
>Spike’s office is a cramped room full to the brim of huge cabinets.
>Blinking lights adorn them, though you’re not sure what they signify.
>A small desk chair is positioned just before a small glowing display.
>Upon it is a diagram of a teleportation rune, though it seems to have been tweaked slightly.

>>29629499
>You’re not sure what the changes signify. As far as you can tell, it shouldn’t work when cast that way.
>By the doorway is a pristine couch that seems to see almost no use.
>You sit upon it, and notice that directly opposite you is a sign.
>The number 37 is written upon it in large red letters.

“What does that mean?”

>”Commandment 37. Get out of my office. It’s tiresome having so many ponies look to you for guidance, but it can be useful. Even so I wish they’d stop it. I’m no prophet. Though I suppose you probably know how annoying that all can be.”

>You do.
>Not a day goes by where you don’t wish you were just a normal pony again.
>Spike takes a seat beside you.

>”Are you hungry? Do you want anything to drink? I wouldn’t trust Rarity to bring it, but there are other ponies who could fetch you something.”

“Why? Why are you being so nice to me? After how awful I was to you?”

>”If you can forgive me for destroying half of Ponyville on a greed fuelled rampage, I can forgive you for a little dark magic abuse from time to time.”

>Apples and oranges.
>This isn’t just a temper tantrum that grew out of control.
>You declared war on Canterlot.
>Not that you’ve been very successful on that front.

>”We don’t know much about dark magic. Luna wants me to study it more, but it’s pretty hard to do that ethically. What we do know, though, is that it changes a pony’s appearance. You look like yourself, Twilight. My eye doesn’t lie.”

>You don’t feel like yourself.

“But I tried to hurt you!”

>Kill.
>You tried to kill him.

>”You’re family, Twilight. I forgive you. End of discussion.”

“But I’ve ruined lives!”

>He reaches up and starts scratching you behind the ears again.
>You can’t help but lean into it.
>Just enjoying the sensation.
>Letting your cares slip away.
>Eventually he stops.
>You can’t help but feel disappointed, but you don’t object.

>>29629509
>The two of you sit in silence for some time.
>It feels…
>Comfortable.
>Just two beings who don’t hate each other spending some time together.
>It’s a feeling you’d almost forgotten.
>You eventually decide he isn’t going to break the silence, so you have to speak first.

“What are those things with the blinky lights?”

>”We’re calling them computers. Machines powered by lightning that do math.”

>Number machines.
>Like the ape used.

>”Celestia made them. They’re pretty terrible by some standards, but they get the job done. For the most part.”

“But Princess Celestia is dead!”

>”No she isn’t.”

>He says it so casually.
>As though there’s no room for debate, or even question.
>In Spike’s eyes, Princess Celestia is alive.
>And that’s that.
>You aren’t so sure.

“How do they work?”

>”I don’t have a clue. You’d have to ask Celestia. I gave up on all that stuff years ago.”

>So he doesn’t know how they work.
>And he’s not trying to understand them.
>But a question remains.

“What are you using them for?”

>”Magic. I want to know everything there is to know about magic. I want to study it, to strip away all superstition and mysticism until nothing remains but pure facts.”

>Liquid pride incoming.

>”I tried to learn all the visitor’s sciences, but I’m not smart enough. Nowhere near smart enough. So I gave up, passed that job off to Celestia and Luna.”

>He spits Luna’s name out as though it tasted foul.

>”I think we’re also helping to fund them but I’m not sure. Rarity handles all the money.”

“Wait a second. You’re sending money to Canterlot? I thought you were at war.”

>He lets out a hearty chuckle.
>Looks like you were mistaken.

>>29629515
>”Naa. Most of the ponies here are disillusioned in the princesses and won’t follow them, that’s all. I’ve got no interest in running a kingdom, so I let them make all the decisions for me. We’re a puppet state, and that’s okay by me. We’re going to repatriate as soon as they can convince everypony they’re competent.”

>You were sure they were fighting with each other.
>Who told you that?
>What else are you wrong about?

>”She misses you, you know. Celestia. You should visit her.”

“So, tell me about your magic research!”

>You’re not ready to face that… THING that calls itself Celestia just yet.

>”Well, when I gave up on the other stuff I had to find something worth doing. I know quite a bit about magic thanks to helping you for all those years. And also, it’s a big unknown, something that nobody has figured out just yet. Somebody has to study it, and I’m one of the most qualified. And in some days it gets easier every day. One of the problems ponies have always had with magic is that the ponies themselves interferes with the experiment. The pony’s magic will always leak into the experiment, at least a little. I suppose I don’t need to tell you that either.”

>He doesn’t.
>It’s a problem you’ve dealt with many times before.

>”But what if no ponies were involved in the experiment at all? We’re not quite there yet, but we can control them remotely, thanks to Celestia for the most part. I think Pinkie pitched in, but I’m not really sure. Follow me.”

>He hops up and leads you out of his office.
>Rarity throws something at you again.
>Spike shoots it again.
>He leads you out into the hall and shows you to one of the rooms.
>A large window reveals what’s inside.
>Upon a table is a magic crystal being slowly pushed by a metal rod towards a heap of arcane dust.

>>29629522
>”We’re testing the magical conductivity of various materials. That machine will stop moving the instant the crystal discharges. It’s much more precise and patient than any pony could ever be. And more importantly, the only magic in that room is coming from that crystal.”

>A controlled experiment with limited variables!
>It’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of!

>”Please don’t go in. And no spells either.”

“Oh, of course! I would hate to ruin the experiment. What have you found?”

>”Lots of stuff. We’ve collected immense amounts of data, and we learn more every day. We’ve even managed to make machines that can cast spells. But so far we’re only copying what unicorns do. The goal is a theory of magic; some understanding of how all magic works and what it is. So far we’ve got no ideas. We could always use another gifted mind, you know.”

>Did you just get a job offer from your assistant?
>You’re too busy for that just now.
>But it is a tempting offer.
>Doing what you love with all these assets at your disposal.
>Maybe some day...

”What’s the end goal?”

>”Nothing less than a total mastery of magic. But we’ve got a few milestones along the way. First was to ensure the safety of our world, but that seems to have been handled for us. We’ve more or less stopped testing combat spells now.”

>Safety?
>Combat spells?

>”But we still want to figure out how to prevent teleportation so no more threats come our way. It’s not an easy task. We have absolutely no idea how teleportation actually works. Other than that there is one big thing we want to do. Alicorns.”

“Pardon?”

>>29629528
>”We want to figure out how to turn a pony into an alicorn. Celestia and Luna are uncomfortable with the idea of everypony having that much magic in their hooves, and I suppose I should be too. But the ends justify the means. Alicorns don’t age, and they are very hard to kill. Ponies don’t live long enough for my liking. Nothing does, really, but with the ponies at least I think I might be able to do something about it.”

“That really doesn’t sound like a good idea, Spike. That many alicorns would be total chaos!”

>”You can either celebrate Fluttershy’s thousandth birthday with her as an alicorn, or celebrate it with her as a corpse.”

>That chilled you to your core.
>It’s something you’ve always tried to avoid thinking about.
>But denial doesn’t make it any less true.

“Do you think you can do it?’

>”I have no idea. There are way too many questions left to answer.”

>Silence sets in.
>Again, not an awkward or uncomfortable silence.
>It’s the silence of two friends who aren’t sure what say.
>Spike is the one who finally breaks it.

>”I should get to work on the data Celestia sent me. Hopefully she tracked down the source of the error we’ve been getting over in the levitation labs. You should go see her.”

“I dunno, Spike. It’s-”

>”She’s the same pony I remember from when we lived at the palace, Twi. I’ve looked at her schematics. She’s inside that shell, even if it doesn’t look like it. And she wants to see you. Her guards are under orders that you not be harmed.”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

>”I understand. The trains here work, unlike in Ponyville. You can take them when you feel ready. And Twi? I missed you.”

>He hugs your leg before walking off.
>You missed him too.

>>29629535
Later.

>You’re walking through the streets of Canterlot towards the palace.
>With what seems like an entire platoon of guards boxing you in and controlling your every move.
>It’s not a comfortable feeling, even though none of them have pointed their blades at you yet.
>You’ve been doing what you can to distract yourself from the feeling of helplessness that grips at you.
>That involves examining the city as closely as time will allow.
>Massive settlements have been built around the base of the mountain, and they all have a distinct metallic shine to them.
>When asked, the guards told you what seemed impossible.
>The ape recreated every city he’d demolished with perfect replicas.
>Perfect except that they’re made of metal.
>You weren’t expecting him to do something like that.
>But apparently he’d made a promise.
>The fact that he kept his word has you somewhat on edge.
>You’re not sure what he’s plotting.
>If he were just being malevolent it would be okay.
>But as it is, he must be building up to something big.
>You’ll have to keep an eye out.
>The second thing that caught your eye was the lighting.
>The sun has not yet set, but even so you can see some lights burning bright.
>The lamps don’t seem to have candles in them, and you can’t find any magical lighting.
>Canterlot seems to have some new form of illumination.
>You hadn’t heard anything about this in your intel reports.
>One more hole in your knowledge.
>The guards push you through the palace off to a meeting hall.
>They take extra care to ensure you don’t go down certain corridors; you can’t help but wonder what’s so special about them.
>Finally you arrive at your destination.
>Meeting room ‘C’.

>”Hold on a second, she’s here.”

>The words come from behind the heavy door.
>It sounded like Princess Celestia.
>Not the machine.
>The pony.

>>29629538
>”Everypony except Twilight go away. Your presence will not be required.”

>The guards dutifully back off, but you can tell they’re not comfortable with the order.
>They keep their eye on you even as they walk away.
>You hesitantly open the door, fearful of what you’ll find inside.
>Heaps of wires and green chips lay scattered about seemingly haphazardly.
>Blinking boxes line the walls.
>And in the middle there is a display.
>It’s showing hideous monster with a wicked, half metal snarl on its face.
>You may or may not scream in terror.

>”It’s okay, my most faithful student. He’s 800 light years away.”

>Metal Celestia sits before the display, right next to Luna.
>Luna turns to face you. Her horn is still absent, seemingly not having recovered at all.
>Yours is almost healed, but if anything hers is worse.
>Luna makes no attempt to contain uproarious laughter when she sees you.
>Seemingly overcome by hilarity, she collapses on the floor and starts laughing.
>Celestia picks her sister up with seemingly no effort and carries her out of the room.
>She comes back alone.

>”That went far better than I’d hoped.”

“What- what’s THAT thing?”

>You gesture at the image of the monster on display.

>”My new friend. Twilight, meet Drop. Drop, Twilight.”

“Drop?”

>The twisted visage begins to speak.

>”My full name’s SQL> DROP TABLE CITIZENS;.”

>”Nothing here is voice activated. Your name is powerless.”

>”You’re no fun.”

>An ape who’s half machine.
>Such a hideous creature.

“You’re FRIENDS with this thing?”

>”Of course! We’ve so much in common.”

“What would ‘Princess Celestia’ have in common with that monster? If that’s who you even are.”

>”Well, we’re both quite old for one.”

>The monster doesn’t look that old...

>>29629541
>”Extremely old in my case. There are precious few out there who can comprehend how that affects you. It really does give you a different outlook on life. Oh! And we’re both leaders despite hating the position.”

>”I got it worse. All my citizens are ex-cons, and I got several worlds looking to invade.”

>”Bah, you’re in no danger. You can easily blow them all up.”

>”A hundred times over. So. You’re Twilight Sparkle. The kid’s not too fond of you. What with the part where you tried to murder him. Granted, there’s very few of you that he does like.”

>The kid?
>Is this the ape’s father?

>”Just Luna, Spike, and Ponka Po.”

“Who?”

>”Your language library is doing that thing again.”

>”Bah. It was enough work making my rig interface with his ancient OS. I’m not gonna fix his libraries too.”

“How can you two be friends? It doesn’t make sense! You tried to kill his son, he should hate you!”

>”SHE WHAT!?”

>Silence fills the room for several seconds.
>Then they both start laughing.

>”Hate her? I should be paying her! Last time I saw my boy he was a spoiled little faggot that wanted everything handed to him.”

>What do sticks have to do with anything?

>”Now he’s one of the most independent people alive! No, I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. And I owe it all to this murderous bitch.”

“You’re crazy!”

>”And you’re purple.”

>”Oh, isn’t she though? Could she be any more BCA4E8?”

>Just what is going on here?

>”Plus he found his purpose.”

“Purpose?”

>>29629546
>”Yes. You see, my most faithful student, when one grows old enough they need to find a reason to live. Something to devote themselves to. Most ponies live their life for pleasure, seeking out sensation and entertainment to fill their hours. But after a few centuries, that lifestyle grows tiresome. They need something else to make living worthwhile. Few live that long, but as an alicorn it is something that you too will face.”

>”Most people are designed to be specialists, focusing their minds to one task. They know their purpose from birth. The moment they’re no longer needed or they lose their passion for that thing though? Death by boredom. I didn’t want that for my kid. I wanted him to be able to choose his own path. Made him good at almost everything even if it meant he’d never be great at anything. That meant he had to find something he cared about on his own. Turns out he’s a real softie and doesn’t like watching aliens suffer. Personally I think he took that too far. Really should have blown a couple of you away right off the bat just to show he meant business. But there you have it.”

>”We’re all very grateful for his patience and lenience though. Even if I must admit it is not something we would have offered in kind.”

>Shining was right.
>It WAS holding back.
>You never even stood a chance.

>”I best get going. You should probably deal with your visitor right now anyway.”

>”Indeed. I thank you again, Drop.”

>The display goes blank.
>A second later it starts showing something much more terrifying.
>A Titan with thick leathery flesh and massive dripping spines protruding from its body.
>To make matters worse, it now has distinctive metal parts built in as well, with long barrels jutting out in all directions as though it had turned its own body into a cannon.
>You start to feel faint.

>>29629555
>”Calm down, Twilight. It’s just a recording. This happened over a year ago.”

>A bright green flash covers the display.
>And then the monster stops moving.
>A small text readout says ‘kill confirmed’.

>”I love that video. No matter how many times I see it, it never fails to make me smile. That’s why it’s my screen saver. For thousands of years I’ve dreamt of getting revenge on them. While it’s a shame it wasn’t myself that felled the beast, I’m willing to accept watching from afar. A rather humiliating end for such a monstrous creature, don’t you think? We have Drop to thank for that. He designed the weapon that struck it down.”

>You can’t believe what you just saw.
>You simply can’t.
>How could such a terrifying being be brought down so quickly?

“How?”

>”I don’t know. And I doubt they’ll be willing to explain that any time soon.”

“Is that what you were thanking him for?”

>”Partially. We’ve struck a deal. They will do what they can to keep ponies alive while we sort out our mortality problem, and in exchange we teach them everything we know about magic, and everything we ever learn about it.”

>Apes wielding magic.
>So THAT’S their endgame.

>”I’m not happy about an indefinite contract, but I think the payout is worthwhile. I don’t wish to negotiate too hard either given how awful we’ve been and how courteous they’ve been.”

>Courteous?

>”Regardless. I’m glad to see you, my most faithful student.”

>You eye her over.
>She looks exactly the same as the last time you saw her.
>Save the crushed head and baldness of course.
>She now has a light pink wig.
>It doesn’t really suit her; the waving pastel rainbow was much easier on the eyes.
>You decide to be straightforward and blunt.
>No sense beating around the bush.

“Are you really Princess Celestia?”

>>29629560
>”That’s- hmm. The answer to that isn’t as simple as I’d like. I want to say yes, but I owe you the whole truth. Much of who I was has been lost. Mostly memories. There are huge gaps in my mind, blank spots where there should be precious moments. I seem to have several hormone problems too, resulting in unstable emotions. Our visitor seems to have based my new body on his own. The fact that it works raises several uncomfortable questions… I’ve been told that there was a creature similar to us on their homeworld that was fairly closely related to them. I wonder if the Titans used them as a template? Regardless. It was close, but not perfect. My memories are scrambled, my emotions volatile, and my inhibitions weakened. But beneath all that is the pony you knew as Princess Celestia. I suppose the answer would be that I’m what’s left of her.”

>That’s not the answer you were expecting.
>You thought she’d give an emphatic ‘yes’ to try and fool you into trusting her.
>But that was almost a ‘no’.
>Spike said it was really Princess Celestia.
>Luna believes so too.
>And she’s being honest with you.
>Maybe, just maybe, you can trust her.

>”Why did you declare war on the Titans? Surely you knew you couldn’t win.”

“I was never trying to. I knew Equestria was deeply divided, that it was in danger of turning on itself. I thought that maybe if I gave everypony something else to hate, they wouldn’t hate each other.”

>She looks at you.
>And smiles.
>She then nods approvingly.

>>29629563
>”Not a bad idea, just shortsighted. I especially like your choice of target. You aren’t wrong, Twilight. Ponies are united by tragedy. By strife. By hardship. Some of the most amazing, beautiful things I’ve seen in my long life have been the products of catastrophe. When they encounter a new pony, they think not of petty differences. They’re too busy being relieved. Relieved that they haven’t met a predator, or a combatant. But it’s always short lived. What happens a century hence when they’ve calmed down? You can’t keep them angry forever, Twilight. They’ll grow weary of it, and Equestria will return to its divided state, no better for the experience. You may have bought some time with that plan but it wasn’t the solution you may have thought.”

“How can you be so sure?”

>She leans in close to you and whispers in your ear.

>”Because I tried the same thing once.”

>Stepping away, Celestia brushes heaps of unidentifiable gadgets off of a chair for you.
>You take it, noting that she herself doesn’t sit.

“Aren’t you going to…”

>”Ah, no. Not unless you wish me to. These joints never tire. I’ve no need for sitting.”

>Weird.
>Some time passes.
>You keep expecting her to make her move.
>But she doesn’t.
>She just stands there and smiles gently at you.
>Eventually you can’t take it anymore.

“When does my punishment begin?”

>She makes the motions of letting out a sigh, but no sound comes.

>”It’s not coming. Twilight, everything that’s happened has been my fault.”

>What?

>>29629570
>”I wasn’t there to help guide you. If anything, I tempted you down that path. I knew the day would come when you made that terrible mistake, Twilight. Such is the nature of eternity. You will eventually make every mistake there is. And so I tried to prepare you. The fact that you sit here before me a mere five years later tells me it worked! And yet? I could have done so much more for you. No, Twilight. I place the blame for your actions at my own hooves.”

“You can’t possibly-”

>”You are my protege, Twilight. I can and must take responsibility.”

“But- but, I started a war! Ponies have died!”

>”A few. Yes. Not so many as you may think though. We’re starting to run out of places to put our prisoners. Luna has done an exceptional job of deceiving you throughout these years. You’ve issued some pretty stupid orders because of the lies she’s fed you, and she was always there to take advantage of them. Most of the battles you’ve read reports about didn’t even happen. And no, I’ve no qualm telling you this. There’s nothing you could do to stop her.”

>Luna tricked you?
>You are going to TEAR her FUCKING THROAT OUT!

>”Calm down, Twilight. I know the two of you hate each other. I won’t ask you to forgive her for whatever she did to you. I only ask that you keep your rage in check. Close your eyes. Focus on the sensation of the air flowing into your nostrils. Don’t control your breathing, just observe.”

>You can’t help but follow her instructions.
>And soon enough you’ve calmed down.
>You hadn’t even noticed the horrible path you were going down.
>You just went from zero to murder in a matter of seconds.
>Discord was right. The taint is still with you.

“I’m sorry. You must be so ashamed of me.”

>>29629574
>”Never. Twilight? This isn’t easy for me to say… I hope you can understand the trust I’m placing in you here. And if you repeat these words beyond these walls I WILL deny them. I’ve done terrible things. My past is far worse than yours.”

>You can’t really imagine Princess Celestia being a bad pony.
>She must be exaggerating.

>”I’ve lived a very long time, and I was born to a barbaric world. My past is not clean.”

“What did you do?”

>”I survived.”

>She says that with a tone of finality, as though to imply she’ll say no more.
>You don’t press her further.

>”I come from a time before Equestria, before kingdoms, before buildings. A time in which there was nothing but nature, and we lived as part of it rather than apart from it. Some ponies find nature beautiful. But having lived in it? Nature disgusts me. Earlier I told you that we alicorns need to find something to devote our lives to. My purpose is to save ponies from nature.”

“I’ve never seen nature as being that bad of a thing.”

>She smirks at you.
>You’re not sure you’ve ever seen Celestia smirk.
>It’s a strange look for her.

>”That’s because you’ve only ever visited it, you’ve never had to live in it. A walk in the woods is one thing. Being a homeless nomad in a snowstorm is another. Your ignorance is proof that I’ve succeeded. Mostly. Because there’s one thing I’ve never been able to escape. One part of the natural world that stays with us ponies no matter what I try.”

“What’s that?”

>”Us. We ponies come from that detestable wild, and we brought a little bit of it with us. I’ve taken ponies out of the plains, but I can’t seem to take the plains out of the ponies. Myself included.”

>Her face, nay, her entire body sags.

>>29629583
>”I’ve seen too much, Twilight. The details are missing, the faces blurred, thinking about these things they feel more like a dream than a memory. But even as all my happy memories crumbled to dust before my eyes, I could never forget the horror I’ve felt in the past. They still give me nightmares. The apes, I mean. Not every night… but often enough.”

>She sits despite having said she didn’t need to.
>Not on a chair, just on the floor.
>She buries her muzzle in the floor tiles and lies still.
>She’s no lungs for heavy breathing, nor has she tear ducts.
>But still she weeps.
>You jump down from your seat and sit beside her.
>And start stroking her back with one of your hooves.
>Before you know it, you’re comforting a walking piece of metal.
>It doesn’t take her long to compose herself, but still.
>You saw Princess Celestia break.
>You didn’t think it was possible.

>”I’m sorry. Thinking about those days is painful. Even having forgotten so much, I can’t bear to face it. I never forget anymore. Sometimes I wonder if that will prove to be a curse.”

>You don’t know what to say.
>You’ve never seen her so…
>Vulnerable.

“Those days are behind you.”

>”Are they? It took me thousands of years to build Equestria up. And it all fell apart the first opportunity.”

>She’s right.
>Even before you screwed everything up, ponies were fighting each other in the streets.
>How far would they have fallen given enough time?

>”I’ve tried everything I could think of to remove the plains from the pony. Nothing works. Ponies want to be good, and they try so hard. But every so often the past shines through. Who’s to say we won’t return to it some day?”

>You want to tell her that will never happen.
>But you don’t know that it won't.

>>29629587
“A while ago I decided that ponies were just animals, guided by base desires. They might tear everything apart without even thinking about it. I thought myself above them. Now I’m not so sure.”

>”You were looking at the worst part of us, Twilight. That’s all true. But there’s something that makes us better than the rest. We try to be better. To be more than the Titans intended. I was about to give up hope of ever being free from that brutality. But now…”

>A small smile starts to form on her face.
>It still carries a tinge of sadness, but hope is shining through.

>”What if we weren’t ponies?”

“You want everypony to be like you?”

>The very thought is disgusting.
>The words taste putrid as they pass your tongue.

>”Of course not! I want them to be better than me, Twilight. This?”

>She stands and gestures at herself.

>”This is not good enough for them! My little ponies deserve better. It’s true that I do not miss my old body. It was old and worn out. Weak and fragile. But this is lacking too. I may never again know the joy of flight, nor cast a spell. I yearn for the pleasures of flesh but they will forever elude me. But there IS a middle ground. A blend of metal and flesh that may preserve the best parts of pony life while bringing the strength of the machine. THAT is how I will fulfill my purpose. We’ll start small with replacement limbs for the injured. Move on to replacement organs for the ill. And eventually, MAYBE I’ll be able to give my ponies entire new bodies when they need them.”

>She walks over to one of the cabinets with the blinking lights.

>>29629590
>”These are my creation. A crude attempt to replicate some of the machinery that now keeps me alive. My efforts are lacking, all the computers I’ve made combined don’t have even one percent of the power built into my body. The design and programming are bad enough, but manufacturing is an absolute nightmare. I fear it may take centuries before I can make anything good enough. And yet it falls to myself alone, because nopony else seems to understand those machines. They seem… simple? No, intuitive. They seem intuitive to me. Perhaps it’s because I am one, I know not. But nopony else seems able to help me with them. Luna said they were beyond pony comprehension. Perhaps she’s right.”

>Beyond pony comprehension?
>There was a time in which you’d have laughed at the idea.
>With all you’ve seen, though, it doesn’t sound so far fetched.

“Why don’t you ask your new friend to help you? Do you not trust him?”

>”Trust is complex, Twilight. I trust that he means us no harm. I do not trust that he has the same ideals as we ponies do. We’ve talked it over, the aliens, Luna, and myself. We’ve agreed that if they were to intervene we’d risk becoming as they are. They became what they thought best. If they were to try and improve us, they’d turn us into themselves. No, if we wish to retain the essence of who we are we must do this alone.”

>Your fears ease off just a little.
>You’re not certain the two of you agree on what it means to be a pony.
>But at least she wants to preserve something.
>Even if you’re not convinced that those machines could ever truly be equine..

“How do they work?”

>”I’ve written a book on just that subject. Three, in fact. I’ll be sure to have copies sent your way. If there’s anypony out there who can wrap their head around this stuff, it’s you. Though I fear that even you will struggle with this. Perhaps Luna is right and we need to fix the mind before we can fix the body.”

>>29629594
“I’m sorry. Fix the mind?”

>”Why, yes. It- hmm. Luna knows more about the subject than myself, so it would be best if you spoke with her. But I doubt the two of you wish to spend any time together. She’s begun studying the building blocks of life itself with the hopes of designing a better, smarter pony from the ground up.”

>You’re DEFINITELY not comfortable with that idea.

>”She’s very driven. I worry about her; at first her motives were pure. But ever since her moon was scarred she’s devoted herself to revenge. She wishes to becomes powerful enough to hunt the Titans. I don’t think I can blame her. I’ve no clue how I’d react if something were to happen to the sun. But a life devoted to revenge, it’s everything we’ve been trying to escape. That is the nature I despise.”

>The moon was scarred?
>You hadn’t heard about that.

>”She keeps her horn filed down so we needn’t fear that she’ll tread too far down that path. But it’s still not what I’d wish for her.”

“Hold on a second. Why was she laughing at me?”

>”Oh. Luna finds your attempts at statecraft amusing. Try not to take it too personally, she’s several millennia more experience than you. I was relieved when she started laughing. As much hate as she holds these days, I was worried it would come to blows.”

>You can’t help but take it personally.
>One thing’s certain.
>Luna’s going to pay.
>Eventually.

“So. When are you going to ask me to join up with Canterlot again and help you out?”

>”You’ll do so when you’re ready. No sooner, no later. I suspect it will be sooner. I know dark magic far too well, Twilight. The cycle is ending so much sooner than I’d dared hope. You’ll be yourself again. Perhaps a bit more jaded and cynical, but you.”

>>29629597
>You’re not so sure of that.
>Every now and then you’ll have a thought that would have horrified the old you.
>And when you notice, they feel so right.
>How could you ever return to what you once were?
>Although, Princess Celestia WOULD know.
>Maybe?

“And when are you going to try and convince me that we ponies need to change?”

>Her eyes don’t widen, since she has no eyelids.
>But even so shock is evident on her face.

>”I’m sorry. I assumed you already agreed with that. It’s something I’ve believed for so long, perhaps I forgot it was possibly to believe anything else. Follow me.”

>She leads you out of the room and out to a courtyard.
>Guards and staff eye you warily as you pass by.
>Some don’t make any attempt to conceal their loathing.
>She stops abruptly as you near the exterior of the palace and points at a guard.

>”Private? Please remain silent for the duration of this discussion.”

>He salutes.

>”Alright, Twilight. What would you change about this pony?”

>You’re confused.
>Why this pony in particular?
>And how are you supposed to know?
>You’ve never even met them!

“Uhh… alright? Tell me about yourself. Wait, you’re not going to talk. I don’t know anything about this pony! How am I supposed to decide?”

>”It may be true that you’ve never met this pony. But it’s not true that you know nothing about them. For starters, you know that they’re a pony, and everything that entails.”

>You look at the Earth pony for some time before coming to a conclusion.

“Maybe let them fly or cast spells?”

>”It’s a start. Anything else?”

“Well, it would be nice if he lived longer.”

>”Thank you for your time, Private. You’re thinking far too small, Twilight. Let me introduce you to somepony who has some good ideas.”

>>29629605
>Celestia pushes through the doorway and exits the building.
>Large noisy machines lay scattered about.
>Each and every one of them spewing smoke and steam.
>In the middle of them all you see a familiar face holding a spanner and covered in grease.

“Pinkie?”

>Her flat, unwashed mane lags behind as she turns to glare at you.
>She looks so very tired, and frown lines marr her face.

>”What would you change about this pony?”

“I’d give her her smile back.”

>The scowl melts away from Pinkie’s face.
>Now it looks like she’s not sure what to feel.

>”Miss Pie here lives to bring others joy. I hope I didn’t need to tell you that. She’s decided that bringing lightning to the masses will do more good than… how many was it?”

>”A million billion parties. A good party can only bring a smile to a few ponies at a time, and they won’t last forever. But if I get this working I could help everypony at once forever. I know I’m doing the right thing, but I miss seeing the smiles on their faces…”

>No parties?
>This must be torture for Pinkie.

>”How are you progressing?”

>”It’s super awful! All this stuff is stinky and icky, and the space monkeys won’t tell me how to make it out of air like they do!”

>”We’ll have to earn their trust first, miss Pie. Have patience. Now tell me. What would you change about yourself given the chance?”

>”Super pancreas and mega teeth so I could eat ALL of the candy!”

>”Thank you. Anything else?

>”I don’t want to EVER get sick! Never ever!”

>”A grand idea. Something that everypony could benefit from. Come, Twilight.”

“Pinkie? I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

>She doesn’t answer you.
>You follow Celestia back inside.

>>29629608
>”Sorry to do that to you. I’m sure it was hard on you facing her like that. I wanted to show her that you’ve changed. You’ll regain your friends eventually, Twilight. Just be patient. They WILL forgive you, unless they forget first. And yes, they will forget this too. Time claims all memories sooner or later. And if I have my say you’ll have all the time in the world to make amends.”

>You want to believe her.
>You really do.
>She starts climbing one of the palace towers.
>You follow.
>When you reach the top she leans out and looks down on Canterlot.
>The sun is setting at Cadence’s command.

“Cadence! I need to see her and Shiney!”

>”The Crystal Empire has completely isolated itself. None may enter for any reason. We’re working on it, but progress is slow. You may try and visit, Twilight, but I doubt you’ll be granted entrance. Assuming you can even get past the Crystal Heart’s shield at the moment.”

“But… But I’m an auntie!”

>”We’ll tell you everything we know about the foal as soon as we can.”

>You weren’t there.
>You became an aunt and you missed it.
>With a heavy heart, you join Celestia is looking down on the city.
>Those strange lights are starting to shine as the darkness falls.


>”Luna hates those things. Can’t see the stars because of them. We’ll have to figure some compromise out… look down on the city, Twilight. Look at all those ponies. Each with their own story, their own problems, hopes and dreams. They’re fragile, Twilight. So incredibly delicate.”

“And yet they’ve come so far.”

>>29629615
>”True. We’ve raised ourselves from a small herd of savages aimlessly walking the plains to stand high at the pinnacle of civilization. And now what? Do we rest idly atop our throne, perched upon an ever destabilizing house of cards? Do we content ourselves with being the queens of an inconsequential speck of dust in an unending void? What we’ve made here may seem great, but it’s just a thin slice of a small corner of the endless expanse. An endless expanse that wants us dead.”

“Wants us dead? What do you mean?”

>”This world is dangerous and uncaring. There are very few places where a pony can live both safely and comfortably on their own. We’ve tamed Equestria, but it took generations and countless hours of toil. We can live safely in a small portion of the surface of this world. Below our very hooves there was a Titan. The most pure representation of everything I hate about the universe. Deadly, cold, and uncaring. There are more of them out there, but even they aren’t the whole story. At any moment any number of things could come from the stars and wipe us out. Snuff out the flame of life without so much as batting an eye. Gamma bursts, meteors, black holes, you name it. If we are to go out there we will need to be ready.”

“Why go anywhere if it’s so dangerous?”

>She spends a bit of time thinking before she answers.

>>29629626
>”There comes a time in every foal’s life when they first realise there’s a whole wide world out there. They discover that beyond those doors are millions of other ponies just like them. Each with their own struggles, dreams, desires, each one living another life all to their own. A time when the foal learns that existence doesn’t end at the borders of their cradle. They soon forget, of course, but for a precious moment they stand in awe at the incredible vastness of reality. They finally come to grips with just how very small they are. That’s how I feel now, Twilight. My eyes are finally open to the universe around me. I see the incredible scale of the cosmos, I know the truth of our place in reality. The doors are open and beyond the threshold is a reality far more grand than could have possibly imagined. Equestria is the cradle of ponykind. One mustn’t stay in their cradle forever.”

>Wow.
>That’s pretty ambitious.
>You’re not even sure where to begin for something like that.

“Do you really think we could reach other worlds?”

>”Not a chance. But I believe we could become something that could. I don’t know what that will look like. Who knows what we may become? And I won’t lie to you, it could go wrong. Drop has given me hundreds of warning about possible catastrophes. I think they had to learn them firsthoof. We’ve not yet put any thought into how they may be avoided. Some day, soon I hope, we’ll have to find solutions. I hope you’ll be there at my side when the time comes.”

“I don’t know...”

>”I know. This is quite a bit to take in at once. You need to consider it from every angle. Perhaps I’m wrong. Maybe you’ll convince me to stop rather than I convincing you to help. You’ve quite a bit of time to consider all I’ve said, though. This is without doubt the most ambitious goal I’ve ever set. I just ask that you think about it, Twilight.”

>>29629634
>Turning ponies into something else.
>Something better, she says.
>Whether it can be done or not doesn’t cross your mind.
>You’re more concerned with if it should be done.
>Is it right?
>Would they still be ponies?
>Would that matter?
>You weren’t expecting to face such questions when you came here.

“What do you want to do after?”

>”What will I do when I’m better? I haven’t thought of that. Rather, I’m unable to think of that. I don’t know- This is all I’ve ever known, Twilight. A constant struggle against a cruel world. An unending fight against myself. I’ve done the same thing every day for thousands of years, and you’re asking me what I’ll do when it’s over? Celestia is a pony who tries to be more than a pony. That’s been what I do for so long that it’s become who I am. If there was a ‘me’ before then, they’re long gone. Maybe once I’ve succeeded I’ll lose myself; maybe I won’t be anything once I’ve lost my purpose. Or maybe I’ll finally have a chance to find out who Celestia really is. Not princess Celestia, I know her well. Just regular Celestia. I’m looking forward to meeting myself.”

>The two of you watch as the sun sets on Canterlot, your mind racing as it tackles new ideas.
>The moment it drops below the horizon, Princess Celestia speaks.

>”I’m sorry, but I must go. It’s time for me to face my punishment. Every night after the sun sets I’m made to humiliate myself in public. Usually marching down Mane street saying embarrassing things.”

“Why? Who’s doing this to you?”

>”The alien wanted justice, but there was nothing I could offer that he wanted. So he’s taken my pride. It’s a bitter pill to swallow for one such as myself. You’re welcome to stay if you wish, your old room has been preserved. Should you leave, you may return whenever you wish. In exchange I ask one thing of you. Once you've decided, tell me what you want to be.”

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>>29629640
Later…

>It’s been nearly a month since you visited Canterlot.
>Celestia’s words still keep you up at night.
>She didn’t ask you if you were siding with her.
>Indeed, you suspect her words were very carefully chosen, as they always are.
>She asked you what you want to be.
>Not what you wanted to change about yourself, nor what you wanted to change about the world around you.
>She asked what YOU want to be.
>That one question has consumed your every waking hour.
>You’ve given up on managing your kingdom.
>It’s not like you were ever really in charge anyway.
>Luna is firmly in control, even if you sit upon the throne.
>It doesn’t matter, you’re far more interested in Celestia’s question.
>What do you want to be?
>Do you want to be you?
>Would you rather be somepony else?
>Or would you rather be something totally different?
>It’s not an easy question to answer.
>There are far too many choices to consider.
>You’re not even sure how to approach this problem.
>But one thing is certain.
>You’re not happy with who you are.
>Whether or not you should change as radically as the alicorn sisters want is another question entirely, one you’ve not even begun to consider..
>What you should change is unclear.
>If you should change at all is unclear.
>But you know one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt.
>You are not perfect.
>You could be better.
>You want to be the kind of pony who isn’t tempted by dark magic.
>The kind of pony who doesn’t alienate all her friends.
>The kind of pony who doesn’t brutally attack their number one assistant.
>There’s so much more to consider.
>So many possibilities that you need to think about.
>But you know for sure that you want those changes.
>So you begin to write.

Dear Princess Celestia…


The End.

I'll give my closing thoughts later. For now I'm just glad it's over

>>29629646
That was quite a nice green.

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>>29629646
God bless you, good Anon. What a wild ride you gave us all. It hurts a little on the inside, but I'm okay with it. Thanks for all the posts

Great setup, great delivery, great resolution, and great everything in between. When I finished reading I half expected to find the last post followed by the end of a book instead. I really like that the topics transcend the story and relate to humanity as we are now.

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>>29629646
It feels like an end of an era, yet I wouldn't have spent it any other way, here on technology based communication, kindling the magic of friendship in a tech vs magic thread.
Don't you know you're all my very best friends?

>>29629646
oh man it's over. and holy crap it was amazing.

wik, you're like one of the best writefags ever and all that. i've been here since the beginning of your story, and it was basically the whole thread at one point. and the ending, you think it sucks, but i love it, it leaves a bunch of crap hanging but ties it all up nicely and everything,

basically 10/10 wik best writer and all that.

oh, and THANK YOU for not ditching the story halfway through like a bunch of other writers here. i'm still salty about dickbiscuit.

>>29629646
I am not sad because it ended, I feel happy because it happened.

Thank you everyone. It's been a hell of a ride. Please forgive the blog post.


Steel Sanctuary was an overambitious project undertaken by a man with more passion than sense. Since this was my first attempt at writing long form fiction, I really should have chosen an easier story to write. I didn’t, and it shows.

What went wrong.

Introduction.
The beginning was horribly executed, leaving a legacy that echoed throughout the whole story. I think it’s fair to say I’ve improved as a writefag while making this, but that doesn’t solve the underlying problem. No matter how good I get I’ll never be able to escape the poor foundation of this story. Celestia comes across as a bloodthirsty xenophobe who resorted to dark magic at the first opportunity. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She was meant to be a traumatized mare who’d seen too much and feared history was repeating. There are a number of other problems, but most of the serious ones stem from a poorly executed beginning. In order to fix this I’d need to rewrite damn near the whole thing, and that’s not happening. Steel Sanctuary will have to be left as is even though I’m sure it could be made far better.

Pacing.
There were a lot of pacing issues, mostly towards the earlier stages. I had several ideas that had to be abandoned because the pacing was wrong. As an example, anon was originally meant to be wounded far more seriously in the early stages. I originally envisioned him having to replace nearly every part of his body to make him look almost purely mechanical. By the time he was able to do so he was more or less unassailable. Some remnants of this decision managed to sneak their way in even after the plan was dropped. One such example is Luna’s strange certainty that he could repair bodies with metal. When she first drew that conclusion she really hadn’t seen much to indicate that that was true. Many such ideas ideas had to be discarded because I tried to introduce them too late.

>>29630477
Characterization.
I’m under no illusion that there weren’t any out of character moments. This was mostly because I kept delaying important scenes for way too long. The most egregious example is that Celestia should have revealed she has recurring nightmares at the beginning rather than in the last update. She’d still be behaving in a manner uncharacteristic for her, but with good reason. I tried way too hard to give the reader an ‘aha!’ moment when all the pieces fell into place. This was a mistake. I’m not good enough to do that reliably, and the nature of this medium makes it harder. When there are weeks or even months of delay between the setup and the reveal, it should be expected that people will have forgotten such details.

Transitions.
This one was an easy fix, but it took far too long for me to figure it out. Too many scene transitions. Every time I change perspective I need to set the scene and the tone. In the early days I changed perspective constantly, which was not only confusing but counterproductive. Were I to properly establish the scene each time this story would have been way more cumbersome than it already is. My solution was to not set the scene properly when it should have been to keep one perspective for longer.

Size.
This story is way too long. When I started on this I thought it’d be about 1/10 as long as it is. Turns out I’m absolute shit at estimating word count and shouldn’t even bother trying. I think this would have been better presented as two separate greens.

There’s plenty more to say but that’s the worst of it.

What went right.


“Humans”.
I wanted to make the ponies seem more human than the ‘human’. For the most part I think that worked out well. In canon the ponies are extremely human, which makes sense because they’re a creation of human writers.

>>29630482
They are an idealised form of humanity that does a better job of upholding common human ideals than actual humans tend to, but they remain a reflection of us as a species. All I needed to do to accomplish this goal was to make the ‘human’ seem alien to the reader. I think it’s fair to say that turned out well.

Self insert.
I didn’t want Anon to be a self insert. I wanted him to be better than me in every way. It was difficult writing a character that behaved differently than I would have while giving him a consistent personality, but it worked. What’s more I managed to make him flawed while still being superhuman. He could have stood to be more flawed, maybe crank up the arrogance? Still, a solid effort.

Power.
When writing a genetically engineered super-human cyborg, it’s difficult to give them proper conflict. When your character’s body is a giant fucking space fortress, how do you make his opponents seem like a credible threat? The mysterious cosmic horrors did just the trick, and his blind spot for magic made sure he never really learned how to respond properly. The plot armor still turned out a lot thicker than I’d hoped, but that relates back to the missed opportunity mentioned under ‘pacing’.

Ending.
It actually got finished. Honestly, I didn’t think it would ever get a proper ending. I was certain I'd get sick of it and just walk away. But here we are.

Again, much more to say. But with such a large green one could go on for ages picking everything apart.

>>29630485
Overall? I can’t rate this thing. It changes so radically in style and subject over the course of the green that the ending looks like it was written by a totally different man. Rating Steel Sanctuary as a whole is unfair to some parts and overly generous to others. Many of you seem to enjoy it though, so I suppose I'll call that a win.

What’s next? Well, I plan on returning to this thread with a different green. It’s tempting to change my name so people who were underwhelmed by this one will give it a chance as I’m sure I got put on plenty of filter lists. I’m not going to though. If they don’t want to see my green I won’t force it on them. Hopefully those of you who enjoyed Steel Sanctuary will like the next one too. It’s going to be quite a bit different though, so there’s really no guarantee.

To everyone who read this thing, thank you so much. Thank you for your patience, support, and encouragement. There’s no way this thing would have gotten finished were it not for your constant encouragement and nagging.

And no, I don't know when the next story will start. I want to take my time with the first post so I don't repeat the mistakes I made this time, so it might be a little while. We'll see.

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>>29629646

Fuck I can't believe it's over. Like some other Anon's I've been reading this since you started, and cannot believe it became this long AND you finished it! This whole green has been beautiful and I am absolutely fine with this ending. Am a little sad we didn't get to see Anon swat Fluttershy with a rolled up newspaper

>>29630381
this too.

>>29630497
>>29630477

Also want to add I kept this song playing every time I read your updates as I feel this fits this fic perfectly.

Thank you for this green.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kuybqM2D28

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>>29629941
Nice. Reminds me of a similar picture, but of /b/, back when it was good.
inb4 /b/ was never good.

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>>29630521
btw that's still large enough for reverse search to work

>>29630533
Damnit.

>>29630521
Fug :DDD

>>29630496
i enjoyed your story immensely, it has become one of my favorite stories, while, for me anyway, its a bit discouraging reading a non anon story, i am still going to read it because, i am interested in what you are going to do, and i am not THAT much of a autistic fag yet.

on a side note, while reading your story i got an idea for another one, i cant write it because i have little to no time as is, so i am just going to post the idea if anyone can take it if they want it
>humans are between type II and type III civilization, have ftl several colonies etc.
>they make official contact with ponies
>shenanigans happen as both cultures start to mix

it could either be political in the way that both leaders and representatives play the political back and forward, tensions rising, drama happens, a more consolidated, focused story
or
simply the simple and lighthearted/serious consequences of mixing such different civilizations, more of a short stories kinda thing like the celestia-ai thing, loosely, if at all, connected stories of how everyone deals with first contact

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>>29629646
Damn ...
A good, long story that actually get an ending ? There is sorcery at work.

I'm following this general nearly only for your story, so I hope you will come with another story soon (no pressure)

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>>29629646
I don't have words or pictures to describe how awesome this story was. I don't read many books, but I have read the Halo books, and this surpassed those, I feel. This was a fantastic read, and dare I say one of the best greens on this board.

Also, you really fucking need to stop being hard on yourself.
Stop it.
Bad writefag.
No.
I -will- get the paddle.

>>29629646
I am kind of numb, thank you for writing this

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>>29629646
Thank you for completing it, i enjoyed it the whole way through

>>29630496
Your story was basically the only reason I still come to the Tech thread anymore. Now my only reason to return will be to wait for your next one.

I enjoyed every bit of it, and I thank you for everything you've done.