Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1114: Fine, I'll fucking

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Can we get some stories based on Anonymous' first time meeting various ponies?

I don't trust that grey pony. I don't trust that grey pony one bit.

>>29490151
>Day Fuck the neighbors, they weird
>You keep happily secluded in your shoddily made home in the woods
>After your first run in with the pink one avoiding all contact seemed the best option
>And so you sit in your lounge chair reading the same newspaper you've had for 3 weeks
"Oh those Patriots. When won't they be racist?"
>KNOCK KNOCK
"Aww damnit."
>Interrupted but not impolite, you answer the door
>Three little ponies in blatant girl scout costumes greet you
>"Well howdy, mister! Swell day we're having ain't it? We're tourin the neighborhood and was wonderin if you'd like to buy some ponyscout cookies."
"You realize you're all the way in the forest, right?"
>The three heads swing to the left then sway to the right; a literal wall of trees, bushes and thorns barely letting the sunlight bleed through.
>"Yup."
>"We got sorta lost."
>"But we never miss the chance for a sale."
"Lovely. Say, I've got the stove on and I really need to get back to my pie. Thanks, but no thanks. Good luck finding your way out."
>You swiftly go to close the door, but a white hoof bares the entrance and the yellowest pony gives you a mean eye while holding up her lapel full of badges.
>"Look here, this is my cookie selling badge."
>"And this is my door stopping badge."
>White extortionist horse's smile shouldn't be that cute.
>"And now check this out."
>The three synchronously hike up their skirts.
"Your butts?"
>"Our flanks, which are noticeably blank."
>"Yeah, and we've got so many badges meaning we're good at these things."
>"But none of them are our special talent."
>Their round robin sentence building is as impressive as it is maddening
>"And what do you do when you're good at something but it's not your special talent?"
"Give up?"
>"Well, normally, yes."
>"But not this time!"
>"We're gonna stick with it til we get our cutie mark!"
>"And that means we're not leaving without a sale."

>>29490229
>What a fine mess to land at your door
>Almost as bad as...no, forget it
"Alright, I can see you mean business."
>You grab an item from you shelf
"Here. I'll sell you this rare human artifact."
>Three sets of curious eyes take in the small piece of plastic with a green head
>"What is it?"
"It's a pez dispenser. It dispenses pez."
>"What's a pez?"
"Pez is..."
>Shit, you ate all the pez
"Pez is..."
>You study the pointy eared toy
"Wisdom. It will guide you home."
>"Really? How so?"
"You'll feel it, as a...guiding force."
>The girls marvel at your offering
>Then the orange one jumps to your face
>"What you want for it?"
"Mmmm, I'd say, Three boxes of cookies."
>"One!" the yellow one shouts
"Four"
>"Two, and...uh...a ribbon!"
"Deal."
>The yellow one holds her head high, undoing her bow while the white one pulls two boxes from their cart
>Both offer their gifts and you exchange goods
"Whelp, that's that. You sold your cookies and now have a way home. If you'll excuse me, I've got some funny pages to get to."
>"We're good here; job well done girls. We'' see you later, mister..."
"Anonymous."
>"Mister Anonymous. But I'm warning you, if this thing doesn't take us home I'm coming back for my bow."
>You're already fist deep in the first box
"Sure thing."
>Enjoy the bears

>Before the feast of sweetness can begin white horse poses her questioning innocence like a dagger
>"After we make it out of here will we ever see you again?"
>You close your eyes as if to meditate on the thought
"Difficult to see. Always in motion the future is."
>"I hope you come to visit us one day."
"Time will tell. Speaking of, you should stop wasting it. You only have so much sunlight left."
>Checking the clouds in the canopied sky, the girls wave goodbye and high tail it out of there, chattering all the way.
>"Two boxes and a ribbon! I'm gonna get my haggling badge for sure."

>Ah, alone at last
>You take a bite of your reward
>And immediately spit it out
"Stupid horses and their hay."

>>29490120
This thread should be 1115.

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>be Anonymous in Equestria
>blah blah blah yackety schmackety
>anyway it's just after Queen Chrysalis and her army invaded and got smacked down hard
>you and Celestia are looking at Chrysalis, chained to the wall in the dungeons underneath Canterlot
>you keep wanting to see her
>Sunbutt is getting annoyed with you
"You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? A perfect organism. Her structural perfection is matched only by her hostility."
>"You admire her."
"I admire her purity. A survivor--unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality."
>"I've heard enough of this!"
"Also, I want to fuck her."
>at that, Chrysalis looks very, very afraid
>it was just another emotionally scarring day in Technicolor Magic Hoers Land

>>29490120
Counting is hardl

>>29490339
VERRY GUUD

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>>29490615
Kek

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>>29489433 → #

>The sun is high in the Equestrian sky.
>Luna is asleep, the guards are patrolling the castle, and here you sit.
>You are the beautiful and regal Princess Celestia.
>You sigh as you sign form after form.
>”Same old same old, eh Princess.”
>Corporal Dapper sits at his assigned spot near your throne.
“Indeed it is Dapper.”
>You let out a deep sigh.
>It is days like this that makes you miss the old days.
>Back before the almost guaranteed safety of Equestria’s borders and military might.
>Back when you and Luna were the only thing standing between your tiny fragile country and certain death and destruction.
>Before the gryphons, zebras, and even dragons didn't dare insult your strength.
>”Hey Princess, would you like to take a quick break and run around the track a few times?”
>You always did like Dapper.
“As much as I would love to, I did slack off a bit yesterday and now the papers are piled up and you know how the nobles get when their requests aren't taken care of quickly.”
>Dapper just stomps his hoof.
>”More like immediately! I can't believe they had the nerve to complain right to your face in morning court!”
>At least somepony cares about your feelings.
>”I mean look at you! You are working almost constantly to help them, but do they care? Buck no! You are just the lady that okays their stupid funding to them! If I wasn't on probation, I would have thrown their pathetic inbred flanks right out the window!”
>He always was protective of you.
“I know Dapper, but as much as I would have loved to see that, it would only cause more problems.”
>You let out another sigh as the young stallion fumes.
>You used to be a hero of ponykind, but now you are just a celebrity.

>>29491583
Shit forgot the name lol

>Praised for her work ethic rather than her deeds.
>A washed up, out of practice has-been.
>Oh how you long to get out there again.
>But now you have responsibilities and new younger hero's have arisen.
>Your time has past.
>Twilight has without a doubt taken your place as the hero of Equestria.
>Cadance rules the Crystal Empire.
>No doubt somepony will take Luna’s place as well.
>There is still some fight left in this old mare.
>Even so, you don't think that you are in shape to fight as you once did.
>In the safety of peace, you have lost touch with the art of magic.
>You have never noticed it until this morning.
>Never before have you had to strain that hard to raise the sun.
>Maybe it is time to teach Twilight to. . .
>POOF
>Your thoughts are interrupted by a scroll dropping right on top of your head.
>With a small giggle you pick up the scroll.
“Oh it certainly has been a while since I got a letter from Twilight hasn't it Dapper.”
>”Indeed it has your highness.”
>As you read the letter, a small smile appears upon your tired face.

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>>29491589
>Dear Princess Celestia,
>While testing out a new spell, I contacted a strange creature from another world.
>After a brief exchange, it requested that I end the spell.
>Not wanting to overstay my welcome, I did as I was asked.
>Unfortunately, in deactivating the spell I seemed to pull it into Equestria.
>The creature, upon arriving panicked and escaped my castle.
>I have not been able to find him, but he is obviously a danger to everypony in ponyville!
>It is a very large mammalian creature of unknown descent.
>Bipedal, mostly hairless except for on its head, was last seen wearing clothes that looked to be bloodstained, stands similar in height to Discord, and lastly and most importantly seems to radiate a hypnotic field that I believe pacifies or at least calms anypony near him.
I am extremely worried and really need your help and guidance.
>Twilight Sparkle.
>The smile on your face grew.
“Dapper please contact Shining Armor and tell his to prepare a first contact team.”
>Maybe you need not retire just yet.


Just finished this part! Hopefully there isn't too many mistakes. This is all I have got for now.

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>>29491583
Ugh I already am seeing mistakes
>their stupid funding!*
>>29491598
Forgot the > on one line

I need to double check before I post this shit.

>>29490615
>You talk with Celestia after leaving the dungeon
"How many more visits do you think it will take before she gets too creeped out to ever come back?"
>Celestia sighs and plops her plump derriere in her velvet cushioned chair
>Man you want to fuck that horse
>"She's one of Equestria's oldest and most fearsome enemies. I do not think bawdy suggestions are going to be what defeat her."
"You were still willing to let me try."
>Her lips coil like playful vines
>"I have to get my fun somewhere. Call it curiosity."
>Your lips match her own
"Curious enough to try taking the experiment a little...deeper."
>"I'm listening."

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>>29491687

Does anybody actually read this thread? It is always near the bottom.

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>>29492937
There is literally no reason for it to exist when just about every fucking green on this board is Anon in equestria by default

>>29492959
So should I post my green in some other thread? Maybe RGRE? I haven't really touched on the interaction between males and females yet so I could easily write the way the characters talk to Anon differently. Hell I could write it so where the little banter between applejack and anon was taken as a missed opportunity to get laid. That could be funny.

>>29493104
rgre is basically ntt 2.0

maybe that's just the current flavor for them, but every other prompt is purple this, purple that

>>29490151
This pic just reminded me

I remember this idea sort of getting toyed with, but did anyone ever do a full green about Pinks falling in love with Anon at first sight?

>>29493116
Eh maybe I should put my current green on hold and play around in other threads. Nobody seems very interested in it anyway. I kind of want to write something in bug and age difference or maybe just take up a prompt.

>>29493130
I'm surprised you guys don't have the 'Ponies attracted to anon's physique' pastebins here

It's the same shit, really

>>29492959
>>29492937
Ur cute

>>29493104
You could always give it a shot

>>29493167
i am interested in your story, i like it as is and would like to continue reading

>>29492937
i read all the stories from this thread, since this was the first thread that i felt at home with AiE is the thread that i always have open

>>29490151
>Day Night time in the jungle
>We got fun and games
>Except you live alone so the only game is Solitare
>KNOCK KNOCK
"Bloody hell!"
>Throwing your royal flush into the melt you then go to answer the door
>This time the word horse is a far more accurate description
>Black Beauty over here is way taller than any of the others you have met so far
"Hello?"
>"Greetings Anonymous! I have whitnessed thine image in the minds of three wee ponies who hath safely returned after thine intervention. I hath come thyself to bestow gifts upon such good deed."
>Huh. Good to know.
"And who are you supposed to be, King Arthur Horse? If you're here to recruit me as your Merlin my fee is simple. Three meals a day that do not consist of weeds, grass, flowers, and especially not hay."
>"Why wouldst thou think I wish to make one mine fish?"
"Merlin, not Marlin. Merlin is like an advisor wizard."
>"If thy offer was accepted wouldst thou move to my castle?"
>Holy shit, it is King Arthur Horse
>Play it cool
"That depends. Your cooks make anything like roast pig?"
>Black Horse neighs wildly kicking her front hooves into the air
>"Thou is a flesh eater?"
"Omnivore, and I've been stuck surviving off roots for what feels like months. All I want is a nice stew of meat and potatoes."
>"Thou must be ravenous; crazed for the scent of blood."
"Hey, that's going a bit far. And can you cut it out with the old English? I don't even know if you're using the right words."
>Rather than answer you she flaps her wings and takes to the sky
>"I must warn the others and consult with my sister."
>Great
>This can only mean one thing
>More horses

"Fuck."

>>29493403
this is bound to end in disaster

>>29493335
This

>>29493403
This sounds KEK inducing please continue!

>>29493335
Eh well okay I'll continue. I do like this green. It is my first attempt at a long story. (Sort of I did post a much crappier version before, but it was the same story so it doesn't count!)
I did get the first chapter of an Anonfilly green written though. I'll just save it for later.

>>29492267
Bitch, I will fuck you gently

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>>29494471

>>29494471
p-promise?

>>29493403
lel.

You guys up for more green?

>Holy shit you want to kiss this mare!
>It seems that not only has Applejack decided to share some ridiculously good cider with you, but also took the time to make you some dinner, bake you a pie, and now is sharing some stories from her past.
>You have never felt more welcome to be anywhere by anyone. Not even family!
>”And then I whipped out my old tamer’s chair and wrangled that darn beast right into a trap!”
>Applejack is sitting with you at the kitchen table while the pie cools in the windowsill.
>”It’s tail got caught in the fork of a tree and then one of it’s heads got its teeth stuck in a tree!
>She makes an exaggerated whacking motion with her hoof letting off a clop.
“That is really badass AJ! I don't think that I would have had it in me to fight off a weird three headed uhh thing.”
>Her voice takes a bashful tone as she speaks.
>”Aww shucks I was just trying to save my sister. I think anypony would do the same in my position.”
>Your experience in the morgue has taught you that, that certainly is not the case, but you don't let your doubt show.
>I'm really glad that you were able to save little. . .
>”Applebloom.”
“Applebloom! I remembered!”
>Both are spoken at the same time.
>She smirks
>”Sure ya did.”
>She says as she saunters off to check the pie.
“I really did! Honest!”
>You can hear her cute little chuckle.

>>29495932
>A warm smile adorns your face.
>You know, it has been a really long time since you have felt this at peace. Considering your job, your lack of a social life, and distance of your family, it really wasn't much of a surprise that you were stressed out all the time.
>But right here and right now, you feel. . .
>”Pie’s ready everypony! Big Mac get granny in here.”
>You release a content laugh.
>Yeah you could stay here forever.
>Your thoughts of tranquility are harshly blown away by reality all too quickly.
>”What in the hay is going on!?”
>You stand to get a better view outside.
>Armored ponies and a lot of them with each carrying a spear.
“Applejack what is going on?!”
>”I don't know sugercube, but I intend on finding out.”
>What? She is going to confront them?!
>She has bolted out the door before you could say a word.
“Damn it! Applejack get back here!”
>Your only response is the sound of talking outside.
>Not wanting your friend to have to face a small army alone, you cautiously step outside.
>You see at least twenty soldiers, along with your friend standing in the grass in front of Apple Jack’s home.
>Upon seeing you the soldiers started shoving Applejack behind them with the poles of their spears.
>”Ow that hurts! Knock it off!”
>Applejack is resisting and suddenly you hear a yelp escape her and see red flow from her.
>When you saw that happen, you just reacted.
>Now maybe it was the alcohol in the cider or maybe it was the heroic tales that Applejack was telling you earlier.
>You decided to attack those ponies. Twenty armed and armored soldiers.

It is short, but it progresses the story!

>>29495942
i am glad that you continued, with regards to the story, i am not a critic as i have never written a story before, but it feels a bit off the way anon & ponies are behaving to all of this since he arrived, i cant tell what but something feels off about it, that and some posts feel a bit disconnected, overall i am still enjoying it and want to read more

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What if a large, sentient snail lived in Equestria?

>be snail
>decide to take a walk outside
>slowly trudging along
>damn it this is going to take an hour
>most people pretend not to know me or acknowledge my existance
>fair enough, attention tends to bother me
>can't really blame them
>suddenly approached by Pinkie Pie
>sigh
"Hey Anon! How's your day??"
>"Oh, uh, it's going alright..."
>try to edge on a little faster to avoid conversation
>just keeps up without much effort
"I'm going to be throwing a HUUUGE party later! Wanna come?"
>"S-Sure why not"
"Okay, see you then!"
>happily trots off humming
>realize that her house is on the complete other side of the town
>like i wanted to be awkward in a party anyway
>thought of dissapointing others compells me to go anyway
>sigh

>>29496209
Like he is just going through the motions? Like different from the original post portrayed him?

>;)

>>29491687
Anon will fuck anything.

>>29496627
Anything?

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>>29497306
Anything. See image.

Bumping for more green

>>29497701
Later. Busy now

>>29497306
There are several magical artifacts he has ruined already. Not to mention all the guards he molested on the way.

>>29497468
I love that image. Too bad all the bards I play end up dying to VD.

>>29499098
Veggie Dip is an odd way to go

>>29499662
3veggie dips and a dire flan killed my party once.

>>29497468
His seed has an oddly high potency for daughterus

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>>29490120
Currently trying to organize my horse words collection in Calibre. Did MisterTibbs' Robin Hood Anon continue past chapter 7a? If so, are those chapters online?

>>29501017
You got a lot of time there bub.

>>29501997
What, the book count? I've been saving and bookmarking stories since 2011, and putting them into Calibre since 2015. FanFicFare is a big help for bulk downloading.

Anyone have the old writefag bait prompt where twilight/anon's herdmates leave him suddenly for another stallion because they thought he gave better sex then they try to come back to him like it's no big deal?
Thought i saved it.

In return I will post a cap of ideas/thread bumpers i have saved,some of which i came up with

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>>29502472
sounds familiar, but I'm not one to save writing other than my own.

>>29502472
I don't remember that so much as a prompt but rather as a single story.

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>>29502717
any idea where to find it?

>>29502666
satan, why are you such a pleb
this isn't even everything

>>29502754
desuarchive?

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>>29502754
>satan, why are you such a pleb
It's not my job to save other peoples' stories.

>>29502773
don't have enough keywords to narrow it properly

>>29502780
not even prompts/ideas for stories? It's like you don't even try to make greeen

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>>29502803
>It's like you don't even try to make greeen
I save the green that I make. What other people do with their green is not my problem.

>>29502828
you make green but don't save prompts for later? how odd

>>29502833
I'm not really a grab a prompts type of writer, though technically one of my stories was sort of prompted.
At the time I started it, people were interested in a jedi anon since there was a few sith ones.

>>29502833
I have never saved a prompt. Maybe remembered it later on and did a thing but that's it. It was do it when seen it kind of thing.
Also. I'll never do ones that some guy keeps desperately reposting.

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>>29495942
Hey guys I'm kind of looking for input. How should this play out? I have a few ideas, but I started writing and it kind of went in a direction that I didn't really intend on going so I nuked it.
Option A: anon gets beaten down
Option B: anon somehow kicks all their asses (what I wrote before and the explanation I had before would totally throw off what I was planning and make it into kind of a mystery story)
Option C: anon holds his own, but eventually decides to retreat
Option D: Anon gets knocked out almost immediately (Would make it funny or at least try to)

>>29502879
C

>>29502879
Better to make a strawpoll for this sorta thing.
Also, option D

>>29501017
You better make an online archive bub.

>>29503049
Sure thing!
http://www.strawpoll.me/12361910

>>29502879

How about option E: As Anon is going out the door he trips on the welcome map, falls flat on his face and bloodies his nose. Ponies start freaking out and diffuses the situation.

>>29503203
Of what, exactly? Other people keep track of AiE stories, and between https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Fimfarchive/blog and https://www.fimfetch.net/ the stories on Fimfiction are pretty comprehensively archived.

If the chapters I have of Robin Hood Anon aren't online, I can post them.

>>29503323
They may also think that he ate somepony and spear his ass.
D is the nonconfrontational option.

>>29502773
found it after all

>>29502878
I save the ones that spark an idea or interest in me.
And make my own hyper autisticly detailed story archs (complete with worldbuilding references, notations, and citations)

I don't really know where to ask this, but does anyone remember Equestria After Dark? It was around several years ago. I recall a wonderful green of Rarity raping RD with her horn and eventually giving Sweetie, Silver Spoon, the nerd filly, and some random colt to a group of molesters in Canterlot

>>29504542
Yeah, I remember that shit. Was great times.

>>29504542
It's gone?

Hello.
Im looking for a green with some good feels inside.
An recommendations?

>>29504576
I've looked through the catalog a few times and haven't seen it though I could be retarded.

>>29504560
Would you happen to know where I can read it? I'd prefer not to have to check the archives

>>29504542
There used to be a website but that's gone now too.
Unless someone knows more, this is all I know of https://www.fimfiction.net/group/1994/equestria-after-dark

>>29504652
Thanks anon I appreciate it

>>29496325
lel
>>29502879
Option J: for Johnn

>>29504542

No idea how much is still there

http://pastebin.com/PLfM56dS

>>29502472
go ask in RGRE I think it was one of theirs

Alright, give me some weird story ideas again. I liked doing that last thread.

>>29505413
Spike tells Anonymous his woes of being a little bitch
Anon tells him to get swoll
Spike becomes greedy for MASSIVE GAINS
Anonymous always wanted to be a knight fighting dragons

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>>29505413
Anonymous asserts his dominance by way of the kangaroo.
Slapping his balls around until they swell

>>29505413
Anonymous is familiar with magic, and knows the magic ponies use is WAGHHHHH magick. It works because they believe it works.
Anonymous uses this to either destroy magic or abuse it

>>29505413
Everyone in Ponyville thinks everyone else is a closet homosexual because Anonymous keeps calling everyone fags.

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Sup guys I have quite a bit written down but am still trying to edit it. So I should post some more green in a bit!

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>”Twilight you need to calm down. I don't think it is that big a deal.”
“Spike are you crazy?! This is a huge deal! Princess Celestia is coming and has deployed a First Contact and Riot Squad! That hasn't happened in over 700 years!”
>”What's a first contact and riot squad?”
>You start doing a little stress dance.
“Spike I'm sure I gave you the book that explained what they are.”
>Spike just crosses his arms.
>”Twilight, if I read every book that you have given me, i’d be as old as Celestia.”
>You shoot him a little glare and take a deep breath.
>Okay okay calm down take in the surroundings and breath.
>You are back in your castle waiting for Celestia to show up.
>Spike is sitting on the edge of the map table while you are sitting in your chair.
>Deep breaths.
“Okay, well essentially, the first contact squad was formed after the Zebra Incident. The intention was to create a special group of guards that are not only capable of protecting the Princess while she travels to foreign lands, but can also diffuse any political situation that may come up while doing so.”
>Spike’s focus turns to you.
>”So they are pretty much super guards?”
“No not exactly, but hey are highly trained.”
>Spike has launched himself off the table and has become really excited for some reason.
>”They sound like super guards!”
>You laugh a little.
>You don't know if you could really call them guards.
“They are still just ponies Spike, but they are pretty amazing. I remember when I was still in Celestia’s school, the FCRS came for a demonstration and. . .”
>”You met them!?”
>He is probably an inch from your face.
>Okay that is too close.
>You stand up to head to the library and place him on your back.
“Yes I did.”
>You flash him a small smile.
>”What happened?”

>>29506281
>You try to remember that day.
“Well Princess Celestia wanted us to learn about the guard. Several young colts were talking about joining after all. So she brought several members of various ranks in the guard.
From a young cadet to a general and even some special forces including the First Contact and Riot Squad.”
>Spike just sits there quietly listening.
“Among other things, Princess Celestia had the various guards spar with practice spears. It was pretty fun to watch until the special forces started sparring.”
>”Why? What happened?”
>Spike seems a little concerned now.
“Well they were scary! It wasn't like they were practicing, but like they were really trying to hurt each other. A few of them actually started bleeding and one had to be taken to the hospital!”
>You can see Spike cringe a little.
>”They took it that seriously?”
>You ruffle your wings at little to wiggle out some stress.
“Uh huh. Princess Celestia wanted everypony to know what was expected out of them if they join the special forces. Everypony was freaked out until the pony from the First Contact and Riot Squad started sparring with an Everfree Commando.”
>You pause to see if spike wanted to ask a question, but none came so you continue.
“The commando went after him just like he did with the others. He swung for the neck, the legs, the head, but luckily nothing made contact. The FCS pony was able to dodge everything the commando threw at him, but didn't fight back.”
>”How come he didn't fight before?’
>You put a hoof to your chin.
“Do you know what their most important skill is?”
>He puts a claw to his chin.
>”Changeling detection? No, super shields? Uhh. . .”
“De-escalation.”
>His face deadpans.
>”That's it? That doesn't sound very cool.”
>You just roll your eyes.
“Knowing how to calm down angry ponies is a very important skill. Especially for somepony who's job it is to be the first pony to confront a new species.”

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>>29506287
>”It still doesn't sound very cool.”
>You turn a corner and see the Library doors coming up.
“They are trained to only fight if the Princess is in danger or someone in their squad gets hurt. That way they don't start an international incident while protecting the Princess or incite violence during a riot.”
>He starts to ask a question, but it dies in his throat.
“Maybe you should read about some of the exploits of First contact Squad. Like the time they single hoofedly prevented war between Equestria and the Minotaur Kingdom.”
>You set spike down at a table in the library and float a book over to him.
“That is a book on the history of the First Contact and Riot Squad. From the reason it was formed till their most recent deployment. It is very interesting, I think you would like it.”
>”Hey how did the fight end?”
“Oh Princess Celestia made them stop fighting.”
>He looks surprised.
>”That's it? I was expecting him to mop the floor with the commando after how you talked up how great they are.
“Well spike they aren't really combat guards they are more. . .
>”ANNOUNCING HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, PRINCESS CELESTIA!”
>Oh buck! You were supposed to meet her in the map room!
“Sorry Spike I've got to go!”
>”Wait Take me with. . .
>You poof away before he has time to finish his sentence.

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>>29506291
>The doors open displaying the main hallway of Twilight's castle.
>”ANNOUNCING HER ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCESS CELESTIA!”
>Why did you bring that guy?
>You haven't been inside Twilight’s castle too many times.
>It has its charms, but certainly doesn't hold a candle to Canterlot Castle.
>”Why does it look like a tree?”
>The young guard is looking up at you curiously.
>You forget that he hasn't seen the castle yet.
“I would assume that it looks that way because the tree of harmony created it.”
>You notice Dapper is starting to strut beside you.
>You chose him to be your personal guard for a reason.
He is just so damn cute!
“Dapper why are you walking that way?”
>He immediately stops and blushes a little.
>”W-well I. . .”
>POOF
>”I'm so sorry Princess I. . .”
>You place a single feather on her lips.
“Twilight please, how many times have I told you to just call me Celestia?”
>Why must she always take you so seriously?
>”Sorry.”
>She looks like a sad little puppy.
>You can't help but smile at her.
“Twilight why don't we just skip the whole meeting and just go confront this strange creature? I doubt that he will be too aggressive after being in the company of my first contact squad.”

>>29506294
>The poor girl tenses up at the mentioning of the creature.
>”I don't think that is a good idea Prin. . . I mean Celestia.”
>You lean down to nuzzle her.
“Why is that my dear? My guards are highly trained for this sort of thing.”
>She blushes a little and look up at you as you walk towards the map room.
>”It’s just that he isn't just a foreign species, but an alien one! For all we know he may be venomous or hypnotic or or or. . .”
>It looks like poor Twilight still has anxiety issues.
“All the more reason for us to just confront him how rather than have him roaming around Ponyville.”
>You wrap her up in your hooves and give her a good squeeze.
>That blush intensifies.
>”W-well what are we waiting for? Let's find him!”
>Still got it.
“Dapper has the first contact squad located the creature?”
>He gives a quick salute before his statement.
>”Yes your highness! They should be arriving at Sweet Apple Acres as we speak.”
>Twilight starts panicking.
>”W-why are they going to Sweet Apple Acres?! The creature is attacking Applejack and her family is it?”
>Dapper turns to face Twilight and salutes her.
>”Don't know your Highness. That was the most recent message I have received.”
“Do you think we should head there now Twilight?”
>Your voice gives off just the slightest sense of “I told you so”.
>Worry is very evident on her face before she appears next to you.
>”We need to get there as fast as we can! I'll teleport us there.”

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>>29506296
>You groan internally.
>You weren't one that enjoyed teleportation. Especially after what happened while Starswirl was perfecting it.
“Twilight perhaps we should walk.”
>Oh she definitely didn't want to hear that.
>”But Princess, if we don't get there fast we may be too late to save Applejack!”
>She is pretty determined. With a sigh you relent.
>”I knew you would see it my way! Mr. Guard please stand between Celestia and myself.”
>After Dapper trots over, Twilight’s horn glows brightly.
POOF
>Oh dizzy
>After you regain your vision, the first thing the three of you see is a big bipedal creature attacking your little ponies. While said ponies are trying as best they can to avoid his attacks and to make him stop.
>One of his attacks finds its mark and knocks the poor mare unconscious.
>At this Dapper immediately points his spear and charges while Twilight begins revving up a spell.
“HALT YOUR AGGRESSIONS AT ONCE YOU CRUEL BEAST!”

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>>29506306
>Pow right in the kisser!
>These guys aren't so tough after all.
>”HALT YOUR AGGRESSIONS YOU CRUEL BEAST!”
“You talking to. . .”
>You turn and see a charging pony with a spear right at gut level.
“Oh shit!”
>You turn and jerk your hips back.
>You are barely able to dodge him and he slides on his hooves as he turns towards you again.
“Son of a. . .”
>”Twilight stop!”
>Now you see Applejack jump on that purple pony and pin her to the ground.
>However that doesn't keep your attention long because now you see mama horse with wings spread wide and glowing eyes walking towards you.
>”You will die tonite foul demon!”
>That little spear bitch is talking shit!
>The spear horse that actually seems to know what he is doing is back!
>You try to dodge again, but are clipped by the spearhead.
>Damn that hurts.
>There is blood on your shirt, but it isn't a deep wound.
>With big mama coming and little spear boy in full attack mode you decide to make a hasty retreat.
>Not before taking care of the shit talker though.
>You turn and lurch straight at the spear boy and give him a good whack on the back of his head.
>This knocks out the pony.
>Now that he is dealt with, you beat it at full speed into the orchard.
>A loud yell is heard as you run.
>”Dapper are you okay!?”
>Not turning back you run and run and run until you can't run anymore.
>The trees flow by like a blur.

>>29506319
>You eventually slow to a stop.
>Looking behind, you make note that nobody seems to be following you.
“Oh thank God. I have run about as much as I am physically able to today.”
>It probably isn't a good idea to just stand here so you start walking.
>You can finally relax, if only for a moment.
>The air smells sweet as you pass the numerous Apple trees.
>You really hope Applejack is okay.
>It has been several minutes and yet you haven't really gotten anywhere.
>The birds are still singing and there is still no sign of pursuit.
>You push through a bush and you notice something peculiar.
>A small clearing with a single tree in the middle.
>Within the tree sits a small treehouse.
>It doesn't look like anybody is home.
>Still, it doesn't hurt to be cautious.
>You stay in the bushes and slink around the treehouse.
>You are slow and you are quiet.
I'm Batman!

>>29506323
>Eventually you are past the treehouse and see a small path.
>It doesn't look like the one that leads to town.
>You immediately start down the path hoping that maybe you can find somewhere to hide and wait out whatever hell is coming.
>That mama horse looked like she meant business.
>A shudder runs down your spine.
>She is definitely bad news.
>. . .
>You just left Applejack with her and all those soldiers.
>Yeah they were mostly all show, but that one knew what he was doing and that purple one was with them too.
>They are probably going to throw her in jail or something.
>Your steps begin to slow.
>You really hope they don't have capital punishment here.
>Maybe harbouring an illegal alien and attacking your fellow ponies isn't that big a deal here.
>You stop moving and turn around.
>You have to go back.
>Whack!
Hello darkness my old friend!
>”We got him Scootaloo!”
>”Why'd you hit him in the head?!”
>I got excited! Sorry mister!’
>”Quick tie him up Applebloom!”
>”Sweetie Belle quit holding his hand and help us!”

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>>29506326
Okay that's all I got! As always tips and constructive criticism is appreciated!

>>29506326
neat

>>29506335
I liked thing

>>29490229
>>"And what do you do when you're good at something but it's not your special talent?"
>"Give up?"
keked/10

>>29493403
more when?

Midday bump.

File: 1345946699075.gif (1MB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29509665
Make some fucking green when you bump, faggot

>>29509680
We were on page ten, goddamn

>Be Anon
>Walking through the place what has ponies
>See bulletin board
>Remember hearing something about the mayor tearing down public property that isn't in use to save money
>Bulletin board is public property
>Doesn't look like it's been used in a while
>Decide to do a good deed
>You put a notice on the board that says it's still in use
>"Anon!"
>Twat sparks is angry at you again for some reason
"What is it this time?"
>"Your note had no content. At least write something on it!"
>This is just like your Taiwanese bodypaint mailing-lists back home

>>29504926
Missing:
Stories by Aschenbach
The Last Greentext Ever by Lavenci
Stories by Saint Mellen after Book of the Sun

File: Dark Equestria.png (199KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29504926

>>29509838
Bitch, I'm busy watching the cup

>>29490151
>Day the Day After Yesterday
>After last night debacle you placed your comfy lounge chair facing the door
>Any minute now it'll happen
>And so you stew
>KNOCK KNOCK
>"Hey there, I'm Pinkie—"
>SLAM
>Not this shittu again
>You walk to the living room determined to let the pink horse tire herself out and take the hint
>Said pink horse's face pops up and presses itself against your window
>"Heh. You may not remember, but we met a few days ago."
>Au contraire tiny horse
>You close the blinds welcoming the coming darkness
>It is not dark for long as your lamp glows a fluorescent pink
>Trouble with a capital T coils down the pole like a snake
>"I guess our first meeting was kind of...fast, but don't you worry, this time we'll take it nice and slow."
"Breaking and entering is illegal you know."
>"What's an illegal?"
"A wetback."
>Curse your Anonymous mind
"Slip of the tongue. Illegals is you being in my house."
>"And that's bad?"
"Very."
>"Oh. Sorry"
>She frowns and slinks backwards up the pole into the lampshade
>You reach your hand after her intent on pulling her out, but the space is empty
>KNOCK KNOCK
"How the hell?"
>"Hey there, I'm Pinkie Pie."
"How did you do that?"
>"Do what?"
"Nevermind, I'd rather keep what little sanity I have left. What do you want?"
>She smiles like the god damn sun
>"I thought you'd never ask. My friends and I heard some nasty rumors about a bloodthirsty fish monster around here. I wanted to give you a heads up and see if you knew anything."
>And the fire spreads
"Nope, but thanks for the warning."
>"Phew, that's good. Princess Luna was all panicky yesterday and described a hideous bald being walking on two legs with fangs dripping with saliva ready to sink into the first pony they saw. I immediately thought of you, but you're not a marlin."
>Gee thanks

>>29510046
>Stories by Aschenbach
Scratch that; found 4 of 5:
https://fimfetch.net/story/33749/butterfly
https://fimfetch.net/story/34412/ice-and-fire
https://fimfetch.net/story/36113/prodigal-daughter
https://fimfetch.net/story/65586/lustre-dust

No idea about the others, though; they don't seem to be on either archive.org or mulpwiki.org.

>>29510300
"Princess Luna, huh? Big horse, kind of black and blue, talks funny and shouts a lot?"
>"Yeah, that's her. Do you know her?"
"Never seen her a day in my life."
>Somehow this makes her smile even brighter
>"Ooooh, do you wanna? I could take you into town and show you to all my friends. I'm sure they'd love to meet you, especially Twilight, and then they'd be your friends too. Then we could have a big party, share silly stories, go on adventures, and spend whole days togeth—"
>SLAM
>"H-hello? Mister Anonymous?"

>>29491583
Is there a Pastebin to help me catch up on this? I see there's a http://pastebin.com/u/CelestialOrigin, but it hasn't been updated since 2016.

>>29504926
>RatChieftain
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/RatChieftain
>I'm a rapist.

...Is there a story behind this?

>>29510422
Rat is really passionate about rap and hip hop.
Also, Rat once fisted a water buffalo.

What's the point in having various "active" pastebin lists if they aren't updated? Think of all the potential green I'm missing out on.

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>>29510623
Blame whoever is supposed to be in charge of updating them.

I think it may have been 8th.

>>29510485
>Also, Rat once fisted a water buffalo.
A real water buffalo or a talking cartoon water buffalo?

>>29510794
A real one.

>>29510794
Only the water buffalo knows

>>29510623
>>29510662
Someone should write a script that lets people store a list of bins and be automatically notified when one updates. Not it.

>>29510662
>>29510623
Yeah, I really slacked off with that then forgot about it's existence. It's nearly been a year since it's last update.

>>29511196
This! An auto active list would be the best.

>>29511547
Update and I'll finish something I slacked the fuck off on too

>There was a time people would have called me normal
>Work a 9-5 job
>Play games and watch tv after work before bed
>Hang out with friends on the weekend
>Now though...
>"More tea, Anonymous?"
"Yes please."
>"You've been a bit quiet. Were you having an internal monologue again?"
>DON'T MENTION HER BUTT, DON'T MENTION HER BUTT, DON'T MENTION HER BUTT
"Sorry"
>I'll never be normal again

>>29513773
Whose butt is this? Our only clue is that she likes tea.

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>>29513895

File: Celestia_has_a_phenomenal_mane.jpg (121KB, 824x1280px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 824x1280px

>>29513941
Clearly this butt must have a sun hoers attached, as she's speaking like an adult and drinking tea.

>>29510380
I guess I have neglected the pastebin. I'll fix it as soon as I can.

>>29514014
Okay it is up with what I currently have.

Here is the link
http://pastebin.com/u/CelestialOrigin

>>29513773
We need some green on this, ASAP.

>>29514553
You always say that

>>29515190
It's been a fucking 4 years everyone say like that.

>>29515686
All I can think of is Big Bad Beetleborgs

Updated: 19th/Mar/2017 9:47 PM Australian Eastern Cunt Time (GMT+11)

23rd Mar 2016
• "Rarisiskiss" by TexAnon [http://pastebin.com/sq3fXm99]

26th Mar
• "My humour is like food. Not everyone gets it." by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/7GsT0TUs]

27th Mar
• "Snuggle Time (One Shots)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/1KsLTRxN]
• "Anon From Legend" by jffry890 [http://pastebin.com/7YEetcTJ]

28th Mar
• "Anon From Legend" by jffry890 [http://pastebin.com/7YEetcTJ]

29th Mar
• "Am I Evil 24: Metal Gods." by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/zgrxgfAy]

31st Mar
• "Rarisis' Bliss" by TexAnon [http://pastebin.com/GaJfaivf]

1st Apr
• "April Fools? (Rainbow Dash)" by Sicarii [http://pastebin.com/JujHeSvA]

2nd Apr
• "Anon of Olympia!" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/bE32yUhX]
• "http://pastebin.com/n99ESMaA" by FgtWtKybrd [http://pastebin.com/n99ESMaA (line 489)]

6th Apr
• "Rarisis Gone Amiss" by TexAnon [http://pastebin.com/uaNuBj5q]

12th Apr
• "Archmage Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/fAz0cZ0F]

14th Apr
• "Rarisis' Gets This" by TexAnon [http://pastebin.com/uQd7EjuH]

22nd Apr
• "Anon's Adventures 1: Past Mistakes" by NicoDeimos [http://pastebin.com/QLDpcDes]

25th Apr
• "Archmage Anon" by by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/fAz0cZ0F]

30th Apr
• "Anon's Adventures 2: A Gummy Surprise" by NicoDeimos [http://pastebin.com/fgLJjZMQ]

3rd May
• "Archmage Anon" by by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/fAz0cZ0F]

4th May
• "Big Brother is Watching You" by Bolding [http://pastebin.com/Yi4LhshR]

>>29516215
5th May
• "The Force in Harmony (update 5)" by Malous [http://pastebin.com/r2FjH9k1]
• "Mad Science: Chapter 4" by IceMan [http://pastebin.com/cpJvVAUH]
• "INTERLUDE: Cuddle Therapy" by ANGRYWINO [http://pastebin.com/Jg7S3YE5]

9th May
• "Discord and Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/UfS2P9td]

12th May
• "Hip-Hop Horses" by FlutterPriest [http://pastebin.com/P4tE6JJs]

15th May
• "Femanon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/gig14V1d]

19th May
• "Femanon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/gig14V1d]

21st May
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: A Hole Lot of Stomach Trouble" by AnonPencil [http://pastebin.com/M82V2spK]

22nd May
• "Femanon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/gig14V1d]
• "Rarisis Midnight Tryst" by TexAnon [http://pastebin.com/bB56fy3Z]

25th May
• "Through Dark of Night" by AutoPony [http://pastebin.com/CNtRYk1f]
• "Going to The Dentist [Minuette]" by StayedGolden [http://pastebin.com/Hp3TvRSS]

26th May
• "Femanon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/gig14V1d]

28th May
• "THE PRINCESSES ARE BEING RAVAGED BY BIG BLACK C--" by FlutterPriest [http://pastebin.com/iYUrXPfX]

29th May
• "Archmage Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/fAz0cZ0F]

>>29516219
30th May
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: Spreading The Love" by AnonPencil [http://pastebin.com/21M9PVFB]
• "Discord and Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/UfS2P9td]

31st May
• "Going to The Dentist [Minuette]" by StayedGolden [http://pastebin.com/Hp3TvRSS]

7th Jun
• "God Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/9G2Xx8Ar]
• "Familia 1: Wards." by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/SYxZ2Xwg]

10th Jun
• "Archmage Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/fAz0cZ0F]
• "Femanon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/gig14V1d]

13th Jun
• "God Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/9G2Xx8Ar]

15th Jun
• "The Test" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/1WnvssN1]

16th Jun
• "Archmage Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/fAz0cZ0F]

18th Jun
• "Archmage Anon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/fAz0cZ0F]

26th Jun
• "Anon of Olympia!" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/bE32yUhX]
• "The Ember of a Flame [PiE]" by Droid Anon [http://pastebin.com/hJKBCUGb]

27th Jun
• "Anon of Olympia!" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/bE32yUhX]

28th Jun
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: A Loaded Magazine" by AnonPencil [http://pastebin.com/Zwk2UpPG]

29th Jun
• "Familia 2: This is Bait." by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/Z5Bw74dt]
• "Tricky Lessons" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/tiuKsNuU]

30th Jun
• "Anon of Olympia!" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/bE32yUhX]

4th Jul
• "Anon of Olympia!" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/bE32yUhX]

5th Jul
• "Anon of Olympia!" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/bE32yUhX]

11th Jul
• "Anon and the Silly Ponies" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/mCf1U63e]

>>29516223
13th Jul
• "[Filly NMM] Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]

14th Jul
• "Anon and the Silly Ponies" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/mCf1U63e]

16th Jul
• "Anonpencil writes while sleepdeprived as fuck: Nightmareish" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/Mi8EDemb]
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

19th Jul
• "Everyponis Was Kung Fu Fightin'" by Anonymous [http://pastebin.com/kpH9AjwU]

21st Jul
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

22nd Jul
• "Buried Heart" by TexAnon [http://pastebin.com/nan7HC3y]
• "The Seven Oneshots of the Week" by FgtWtKybrd [http://pastebin.com/VU0K0kyb]
• "Changing Lanes 42" by AutoPony [http://pastebin.com/QWNxtqpQ]

25th Jul
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

26th Jul
• "B-Ballin' and Rhymez" by Anonymous [http://pastebin.com/p9WDJikD]

28th Jul
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

29th Jul
• "Detective Rarity, in: The Canterlot Summit" by !PFKntkYttE [http://pastebin.com/Gfdp04Xd]

30th Jul
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: A Brush with Fate" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/HsNe4c1M]
• "Detective Rarity, in: The Canterlot Summit" by !PFKntkYttE [http://pastebin.com/Gfdp04Xd]

31st Jul
• "Spoonlicker Anon Pt. 27" by FgtWtKybrd [http://pastebin.com/mC8pnNJa]

1st Aug
• "JobAnon" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/PvkzAfGd]

6th Aug
• "God Anon Part 2" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/5DCPv5ec]
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]
• "[Filly NMM] Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]

>>29516215
you are doing god's work dont stop

>>29516225
8th Aug
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

9th Aug
• "Mad Science: Chapter 5" by IceMan [http://pastebin.com/wuNB8AGc]

11th Aug
• "God Anon Part 2" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/5DCPv5ec]

14th Aug
• "Mistletoe Mishaps (Flutterape)" by Mind Wave [http://pastebin.com/friN3GPB]

>>29516225
15th Aug
• "God Anon Part 2" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/5DCPv5ec]

16th Aug
• "God Anon Part 2" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/5DCPv5ec]

21st Aug
• "God Anon Part 2" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/5DCPv5ec]
• "Anon the Writefag" by DeceptivelyProficient [http://pastebin.com/f5vErp0j]

23rd Aug
• "Pinkie VS. Anon: Window Painting Edition 2K16" by JT [http://pastebin.com/tDvce8bk]

24th Aug
• "God Anon Part 2" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/5DCPv5ec]
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: I Get a Kick Out of You (oneshit)" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/USrV0N3d]

27th Aug
• "Familia 4: Beaches and Shores." by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/zwp7GvTF]

2nd Sep
• "God Anon Part 2" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/5DCPv5ec]

4th Sep
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

6th Sep
• "One Shots Collectors Edition (One Shots)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/9fgbZ2kK]

9th Sep
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

10th Sep
• "Anonpencil Writes Sleep Deprived: Sleep Takes Hold (oneshit)" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/a8js67F6]

>>29516237
14th Sep
• "One Shots Collectors Edition (One Shots)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/9fgbZ2kK]
• "Devious White Whorse" by DeceptivelyProficient [http://pastebin.com/GasVJKpH]

18th Sep
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

19th Sep
• "Detective Rarity, in: The Canterlot Summit" by !PFKntkYttE [http://pastebin.com/Gfdp04Xd]
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]
• "After Equestria Chapter 1" by HeathenAnon [http://pastebin.com/ArBk9cB5]

22nd Sep
• "Open-Heart Operation (a comfy little love story)" by [http://pastebin.com/wBDczv8r]

26th Sep
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

1st Oct
• "One Shots Collectors Edition (One Shots)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/9fgbZ2kK]

5th Oct
• "One Shots Collectors Edition (One Shots)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/9fgbZ2kK]

7th Oct
• "Anon the Barbarian" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8]

8th Oct
• "Moonie's BFF Forever Trixie" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/NEpApgvm]

9th Oct
• "(AiE) Anon's Green Mask" by Beans [http://pastebin.com/721TrdVi]

12th Oct
• "Anon and the Misleading Story Title(Current)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/39ymYnfz]
• "Moondini" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/QqSEyv2X]

14th Oct
• "Mad Science: Chapter 6" by IceMan [http://pastebin.com/eMMRQ8WN]

17th Oct
• "Bottling It Up" by IceMan [http://pastebin.com/Ax4hw4jN]

20th Oct
• "One Shots Collectors Edition (One Shots)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/9fgbZ2kK]
• "The Adventures of Anon Quixote" by AlexAnonDumas [http://pastebin.com/rUbi9T95]

>>29516240
24th Oct
• "The Adventures of Anon Quixote" by AlexAnonDumas [http://pastebin.com/rUbi9T95]

25th Oct
• "Anon and the Misleading Story Title(Current)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/39ymYnfz]

28th Oct
• "One Shots Collectors Edition (One Shots)" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/9fgbZ2kK]

29th Oct
• "Familia 5: Dream Girl." by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/HJPQ9NYR]

31st Oct
• "Nightmare Night" by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/Rt3KUyiE]

1st Nov
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

5th Nov
• "The Adventures of Anon Quixote" by AlexAnonDumas [http://pastebin.com/rUbi9T95]
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

6th Nov
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: Head of Her Class Redux (oneshit)" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/ru0ayVgT]

7th Nov
• "[short] Champion" by Ponk [http://pastebin.com/ukmV5piq]

10th Nov
• "The Railroad Bandits" by Rokade [http://pastebin.com/m5yX7GSC]
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: Oh Baby (oneshit)" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/W6KeUzXh]

13th Nov
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

19th Nov
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: Mama Bird (oneshit)" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/nYNEtvaE]

20th Nov
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]
• "[Filly NMM] Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]

25th Nov
• "The Anon Who Stole Christmas [Collab w Stegtorn]" by 8th-Sin & Stegtorn [http://pastebin.com/ew4Agvzu]

29th Nov
• "[AiE] Anon and Twilight Make Pasta" by Silver_Smoulder [http://pastebin.com/PskiJtT3]

>>29516248
30th Nov
• "Starswirl's Last Project" by Handsome Jew [http://pastebin.com/pUGK5fhy]

4th Dec
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

5th Dec
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]
• "[AiE] Equivalent Exchange Part I" by Silver_Smoulder [http://pastebin.com/kpXCZbqx]

7th Dec
• "Starswirl's Last Project" by Handsome Jew [http://pastebin.com/pUGK5fhy]
• "Death Comes For Me... But I Hide" by User [http://pastebin.com/999cZv1m]

8th Dec
• "[CLOP] [AiE] Equivalent Exchange Part II Final" by Silver_Smoulder [http://pastebin.com/cjumbj6e]

10th Dec
• "Always Here (sleep-deprived oneshot)" by AnonPencil [http://pastebin.com/WMJ8Nf83]

1th Dec
• "Starswirl's Last Project" by Handsome Jew [http://pastebin.com/pUGK5fhy]

14th Dec
• "Starswirl's Last Project" by Handsome Jew [http://pastebin.com/pUGK5fhy]

17th Dec
• "Hearth's Warming" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/4FdSiD7b]

25th Dec
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

28th Dec
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

2nd Jan 2017
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

4th Jan
• "Am I Evil Bonus Track: Seasons Beatings." by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/4JRKW39g]

7th Jan
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

8th Jan
• "A Word of Caution" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/an8K3ABh]
• "Moonie's Day at the Office" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/eGVKxcuN]
• "AchingScaphoid" by Netflix and Pony [http://pastebin.com/XM1QsqyA]
• "Space Anon, an anon in space but not really" by Zew [http://pastebin.com/927ghgKF]

>>29516252
9th Jan
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: Wing Fingers (oneshit)" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/PhWGGYpy]

10th Jan
• "Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]

12th Jan
• "Familia 6: Those Neighbor Kids." by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/h7C0YTqw]

16th Jan
• "Anonymous in Pony Prison" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/gaw4175b]
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

18th Jan
• "Police Anon in Manehattan" by Wand of Inferno [http://pastebin.com/juYvFeES]

19th Jan
• "The Adventures of Anon Quixote" by AlexAnonDumas [http://pastebin.com/rUbi9T95]

26th Jan
• "Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]

27th Jan
• "Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]

30th Jan
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

2nd Feb
• "AiE Round Robin Story" by AiE [http://pastebin.com/U4jQHkFD]

6th Feb
• "MLP: Friendship involves Anon." by He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria [http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb]

12th Feb
• "Space Anon, an anon in space but not really" by Zew [http://pastebin.com/927ghgKF]

14th Feb
• "Familia 7: Prodigal Son." by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/pVgvuKhZ]

A year worth of updates. Of course I probably did miss some, plus a few greens I noticed had no direct pastebin links posted with the stories. So if you want yours up here, message me on skype sin.aie or discord Eighth #2240 and I'll sort it out.

>>29512634
>Update and I'll finish something I slacked the fuck off on too
Your turn to deliver.

>>29490120
Posting this here since /moon/ is about as active as Myspace.

http://pastebin.com/AX44Crkm

>>29516256
Woa!

>Be Anon.
>Rainbow Dash and Applejack get on your case about being overweight.
>It's not that bad.
>You can still see your weener when you look down.
>But they are insistent and make you get up in the morning to run around like an asshole.
>You told them no, but apparently adult males aren't allowed to make their own decisions here.
>Stupid sexist ponies.
>"Alright ya varmint. Git goin'"
Fuck off Applejack.
>You retort as you slowly shuffle through town at 06:30 on a goddamn Wednesday.
>You miss TV, and internet porn, and video games, and your cushy office job.
>Damn tiny horses never leave you alone and make you go jogging.
>Maybe you should move.
>Actually, that is a good idea.
>You'll buy a paper later and look for jobs in the city.
>Anything to get out of this town.

Take your shitty self-inserts and insert them in yourselves.

>>29517619
AIE: A place for friends.

I like it I like it alot

File: great work.png (3KB, 280x272px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 280x272px

>>29517619
I'm proud of you.

Right so, I'm picking up this story again where I left off. http://pastebin.com/39ymYnfz

>You awake to the smell of sweat, still waiting for your body to adapt to the warmer climate of Equestria.
>Pretty much the only time it gets cold is when the Weather Squad starts chucking snow around.
>How do these fluffy fucking ponies stand it. Do they even have the capacity to sweat?
>A sudden thought hits you, looking over at Fluttershy's sleeping form.
>You begin to lean forward, eyes fixed on her face, listening for any sign of waking.
>Your nose finally reaching the joint where her foreleg reaches her shoulder, you pause for a moment before inhaling.
>You can't fucking believe it.
>It smells like fucking flowers, god, fucks sake.
>Flopping back into your blanket you contemplate that pony sweat smells of flowers and yours smells of... of smelly human.
>In comparison to ponies you must seem like some horrid smelly orc. Lumbering about town.
>"Hey Anon! Fluttershy! Time for breakfast!"
>Fluttershy begins to stir, while you yell back "In a minute Dash!"
>-------------------
>Everyone's gone their separate ways for the day.
>Applejack and Rainbow went running, training for some kind of autumn marathon thing.
>Fluttershy went off to talk to her animal friends.
>And you, you're staring at a rock.
>In the perhaps very vain hope that it will reveal it's secrets.
>Unlikely, one you're not a geologist. And two this isn't earth, so even if you were it wouldn't help, probably.
>Again you're not a geologist or a xeno-geologist either.
>It'd be a bit shit if you fell at the first hurdle, you came on this trip to do manly things.
>Build a shelter, build a fire. Come to think of it survival-ism is mostly about building.
>Pondering the problem for a moment, you decide to channel your inner Neanderthal.
>And smash two rocks together until one of them breaks open.

>>29518539
>--------------------
>Returning to camp you find Anon sitting next to the fire, running a knife along a thin branch.
>Next to him is a pile of branches, all shaped and- Why is there a pointy rock tied to each of them?
>Are they meant to be spears?
>As you open your mouth to ask Anon about them, Applejack cuts across you.
>"Anon, what in tarnation are these?"
>"Cool, you're back. They're spears you silly pony."
>Oh, so they are spears. You hope Anon isn't planning to hurt anypony.
>"Erm, why are you making spears Anon?"
>"Cause it's the kinda thing my ancestors would do around a fire, thousands of years ago"
>Rainbow meanwhile has got her hooves in Anon's spear pile.
>"These are pretty terrible spears, it's a just a rock tied to a stick."
>Anon's eyebrows move and his forehead skin creases up, you're pretty sure that's the human equivalent of scrunching your snoozle.
>"Well I'm sure my ancestors would have done a better job than me. They'd hunt creatures the size of a house with these."
>Anon starts telling stories of the creatures his ancestors hunted.
>You try to not listen, some of the creatures sound really frightening.
>After he's done everyone lapses into silence for a minute before Anon breaks it again.
>"Hey why aren't the crusaders here, do little fillies not go camping or what?"
>"We done offered to take them, but they're too busy in training for the Sisterhooves Social."
>"The what now?"
>"It's a sort of family day for siblings with races, food and all that good stuff."
>"Tell me more."

>>29518544
>------A few days later------

>You're back in your home, with your flint spears arranged around your stone fireplace.
>It's a majestic display.
>Couple of deer heads mounted on the wall and you'd have the manliest fireplace in all the land.
>Except you know that wouldn't go down well.
>Tolerant as the Ponyville community is of human foibles you're not gonna push any limits that might exist.
>Plus you enjoy the community, especially the festivals and holidays.
>Which brings you to your next problem, the Sisterhooves Social.
>Applejack told you it's not strictly a sisters only thing, but you don't have a brother either.
>And you'd really like to take part and all.
>Oh sure you could do the other stuff they put on by yourself, but you want the full experience.
>Staring into the fireplace, stroking your beard and swirling the glass of apple juice in your hand as if it was high grade whiskey, you ponder your course of action.
>Only one thing for it really
>"I need to find a little brother."
>But how to go about it without being creepy....

>-----Later at Twilight's place-----

>"Twilight I have a question for you"
>The purple pony looks up at you with hopeful eyes, this one loves knowledge too much.
>"I'll be happy to answer Anon."
>"Theoretically, say I wanted to go to sisterhooves social."
>Twilight giggles
>"Well anypony can go Anon it's not exclusive."
>"I wasn't finished, say I wanted to compete in the race."
>"Well you'd need a sister."
>"Which I don't have, so how would I go about acquiring one if that was the case."
>Several emotions pass over her face, shock, horror, confusion and finally realisation.
>"I suppose you could ask for volunteers, there's nothing in the rules about being blood relation but then maybe..."
>Oh god she said the R word. Well now you've lost her for the next hour.
>Maybe if you go get lunch, she'll be done by the time you get back.

>>29518559
>-----After lunch------
>
>Well Twilight eventually ended her lecture. And the prime suggestion reached was ask for a volunteer.
>Swear that pony brings new meaning to exhaustion of possibilities.
>Where to get said volunteer is left to you.
>Can't ask the crusaders, already taken. Spike was a possibility.
>He's roughly humanoid and does the whole 'has fingers' deal.
>But you can't ask him, for one he's practically Twilights brother and sort of her butler too.
>If she decides to compete, it'll be with Spike.
>Which leaves you only one choice. The option you really didn't want to take.
>But somehow knew you'd have to take.
>"Good Afternoon Anon. I'm afraid you'll have to wait for Nightmare Night if you want to tell any more human stories."
>You snort derisively which causes Cheerilee to giggle.
>Not your fault ponies can't handle a bit of orc slaying in their stories.
>"Nothing so traumatic. I'm... I'm kind of... I need to..."
>This is part that made you not want to do this.
>How do you tell a teacher that you need to borrow one of their kids for a community event next week.
>More importantly how do you do it without sounding like an utter creep.
>Cheerilee looks up at you curiously.
>"What is it Anon? You sound more nervous than Big Mac was on our first date."
>Fuck it, just level with her. Deep breath.
>"Ok. Do you know the Sisterhooves Social?"
>"Yes?"
>"Well I don't have a brother or sister and I was wondering if one of your class could be my brother or sister for the day."
>Cheerilee stares at you in silence.
>Hmm, so this is what screaming internally feels like.
>You don't like it.
>"That is an odd request but I don't see why not."
>Wait, what? That sounded like a yes.
>"Oh. I didn't think you would say yes."
>She cocks her head like a confused dog.
>"Why wouldn't I?"
>"Nevermind."

>>29518571
>-------The Next Day-------

>"Now class, as you can see we have a special visitor today."
>Special visitor. Not helping with feeling weird, Cheerilee
>"Who has heard of the Sisterhooves Social."
>All of them raise their hooves but your mind is not on the terribly cute scene unfolding before you.
>It's busy wrestling with issue of maintaining a poker face while screaming internally.
>"Our visitor today is Anon, some of you may have met him before."
>The crusaders start grinning and nodding.
>"Unfortunately Anon is the only one of his kind in Equestria."
>Here it comes...
>"But he'd like to fully experience the Sisterhooves Social, so he was hoping one of you would be his little sister or brother for the day."
>This sets of a wave of excited chattering between the fillies and foals.
>As for you it feels like a huge weight off your shoulders.
>It's done and out in the open. It's all good.
>"Don't forget to ask your parents permission if you want to volunteer!"
>At least until the parents find out. Fuck.

Next update tomorrow. You may suggest what filly's or foals volunteer.

>>29516256

HOLY SHIT.
W-well, guess I should post something too...

>It's just another day in the crystal castle, and you're pretty god damn sick of it.
>Every morning, you wakeup to the sound of girlish screaming, which you now know is simply the noise of a dragon being beaten with a spatula for burning the toast. Again. Then, as you walk out to the stairs, you have to step to the side to get around an owl that is vomiting up the fur and bone remains of the mice that were too slow to get to Fluttershy's house by nightfall.
>At last, by the time you reach the kitchen for breakfast, Twilight will be twitching with nerves and yell at you about something you did wrong, like shaking the alphabet cereal so it's no longer in alphabetical order. And she worked all night to put them like that, then get them back in the box!
>It's a routine, sure, but not the one you want. Your roommate is an ocd princess, your maid is a scale-covered baby that screams like a fire alarm, and your pet is a bird that doesn't understand how to poop out its day old dinner like a normal person. Something needs to change.
>You go down the stairs, hating the crunch of an owl pellet under your stocking feet as you accidentally misstep, and seek out Twilight in the kitchen. Sure enough, she's standing in there, counting the floor tiles over and over, probably for the fifth time this morning, you guess.
"Twilight," you say officially. "Things need to change."
>The purple pony jumps, and turns to face you, panting, pupils dilated like you're an oncoming train and she's a depressed high school sophomore who just can't believe that it gets better.
"Oh! Anon... just in time, I need your help."
"Not today, Twilight."
"Okay. Good. You see, there's this book that talks about how this thing called an enema can be used to... wait. What did you say?"
>Twilight goes very still, then slowly lowers her head, eyes narrowing. You feel a sense of foreboding, but you sort of feel that every morning anyway, so you quickly shrug it off.

(1/?)

>>29518720

"I said not today. I won't help you with some crazy project, I won't go somewhere with you, and I won't listen to whatever is troubling you," You puff out your chest some as you say this. "Today, I'm going to sit down with you and discuss making changes to my life."
>Without her expression changing at all, Twilight moves to the kitchen table and sits down, facing you. Her energy is gone, and her posture seems cold.
"Okay," she says quietly. "Talk."
>Something in her tone warns you that talking is a terrible idea. But no. You have to do this. It's time for you to do something that'll make your life better, and that begins with talking to your roommate. You pull up a chair, trying to make sure your hands aren't shaking, and face her to begin the conversation.
"Twilight," you say slowly. "I am not happy living here anymore. You've been a wonderful host... actually you've been terrible, but at least you took me in. Now, though? I'm on my feet. I'm comfortable. It's time for me to go out and find my own way."
>Twilight is silent, unblinking. You decide it's best to just push on.
"What I'm saying is that I'm moving out, Twi. Soon. I know you don't charge rent or anything, so it's not like you'll be hurting for money without me, and maybe you'll enjoy having an extra room to mess around with. I'll still always consider you my friend, I just wanted to let you know, before I leave. It'll take me a few days to find a new place, sure, and..."
>You trail off as you hear Twilight beginning to laugh. A low rumble of laughter begins to spread through the kitchen, like approaching thunder. You shiver, suddenly inexplicably cold, as the laughter rises in pitch to an open cackle. Your body tenses, ready for an attack or spell you know must come. Instead, she simply begins to speak.
"Move out?!" she practically shrieks. "You think you're moving out? Oh Anon, sweet simple Anon, you're not going anywhere."

(2/?)

>>29518740

>You feel your heart skip a beat. What has she done? Did she seal the doors shut? Did she make it so that you'll die if you go outside? Does she intend to kill you before you can reach the main stairs?
"What," you say, voice trembling, "are you talking about? I told you, I'm moving out. Tomorrow if I can."
"Oh no you won't."
"Why not?" you shout, bolting to your feet and practically knocking over the chair you were sitting in. "What did you do? Is it a spell or...or... so help me, you may be a princess, but I'll fucking cut you if you try anything, bitch!"
>But she simply laughs and shakes her head.
"I don't have to do anything," she says, tone sweet, quiet, and completely condescending. "You can't leave. Well, unless you want to sleep on the street."
>What does she mean? What is she talking about?
"You mean," she says, seeing your confused expression, "you actually think someone else will take you in?"
>Another burst of laughter from the princess.
"Oh my god, you did, didn't you?" she says scornfully. "Well, let me just educate you on a little something Anon, before you ever dare to call me terrible again."
>Here, she gets up and leans lifts into the air, getting her face only inches from yours. She hovers only inches in front of you, and whispers the next words like she was telling you a nursery rhyme.
"Have you ever seen another owl here? Another dragon? Here in Ponyville? Spike and Owlowiscious came here because they were utterly alone. No one to talk to, no one to understand, no one to care about their fates. And that's why you came too."
>You feel a distinct sinking in your chest as she continues.
"You think you have friends? You think ponies here actually love you? They don't even like you!"

(3/?)

>>29518754

>She's stopped smiling, but that doesn't comfort you at all as she goes on.
"Your long gangly limbs, your disgusting fractured looking... hands. Oh, and your face? That squat muzzle with huge pink lumps around the mouth. that scruffy gross bunch of hair over each eye. And definitely the way your legs bend the wrong way. Anon, they all think you're hideous. You make young ponies cry, you mean you never noticed? Pinkie didn't throw up when she first met you because she'd overeaten. She threw up because the very sight of you is repulsive. The way you speak, the lack of fur, the way clothes fit you... everything about you is so perverse. Fluttershy doesn't even think you're a real animal, just some weird amalgamation of magic and amputated limbs. So, why would anypony take you in?"
"N-no..." you choke out, but it's all you can say.
"Yes," Twilight says, her smile back. "You have no family, no one like you. And you have no one that likes you. No one will hire you, because what can you do? This world is made for ponies, and you are not shaped like a pony, you can't do pony things. You have no use to us. You have no purpose. And as far as love? You can't reproduce! I mean, do you even know how to mount correctly? I bet you never even did that with a human, before you came here!"
>You try not to think about the fact that she's right, at least on that.
"And lastly," she says. "Most importantly, no one has time to take care of you. No one has time to explain how this world works, no one has time to cook for you, figure out what use you could possibly be, no one has time to hear you ramble on about your home and how you miss it. Oh, boo hoo for you, it's all you talk about. So you don't have any money for a new place, you can't get any and no one will take you in. Ponies are afraid of dragons, so no one wants Spike. Owls are messy, and no one wants them as a pet. I've heard the way you talk shit about those two, but accept it Anon, you're just like them."

(4/5)

>>29518790

"No!" you scream. This is too much. It can't be. "I'll...I'll leave!"
"Try it," Twilight hisses. "You'll be back in no time. Life on the streets will be so hard during winter, you'll be dead before the first week is out. Face it, Anon. You have no where else to go."
>Here, she pauses to give a short, bitter laugh.
"I'm all you've got."
>You stand there, panting, trembling, as Twilight floats past you, chuckling softly to herself. It's true. It's all true. You can't leave. Twilight is your only solace in this world. It's her or eventual death.
"Now, if you'll follow me," she say from the kitchen door, "I need to show you this medical book. I have some questions about enemas that require experimentation."
>You begin to sob softly as you turn to face her, and trudge after her towards her lab, for another day of misery. It's just another day in the crystal castle, and there are many more to come.

-End-

(5/5)

http://pastebin.com/gMbaTUL4

It's a simple, pointless little thing. But meh. Maybe some of you will enjoy that. Enjoy the waning hours of your weekend.

>Your turn to deliver.
I can't help but feel like this was your only motivation to update.

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>>29516256
Well, shit. Guess I have to now.
I'll see what I can disappoint with in a bit.

>>29510300
>>29510347
MOAR!

>>29518720
>>29518740
>>29518754
>>29518790
>>29518804
I like your writing, and you as a writer but that story makes me so angry

>>29518642
You think,honey?

>>29520530

I think that's probably a good sign.

>>29520896
Yep! Done and done.

>>29516215
>>29516219
>>29516223
>>29516225
>>29516237
>>29516240
>>29516248
>>29516252
>>29516256
We said update and you updated, nicely done.

>>29516256
>Soo many pastebin
GONNA READ THEM ALL!

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>>29519365
I'll be waiting.

>>29523886
8th always delivers, with a side of Vegemite. Whether you want it or not.

>>29518804
>Twilight moves with her head higher than ever before. A tiny grin marks her face in a manner you would only describe as wicked, but you know it's more than that.
>It's a smile of self satisfaction; a torrent of words that were finally allowed to be released after being held back for so long.
>And oh were they effective.
>You give one last sniffle while rubbing your misty eyes in order to collect what little pride remained.
>And then...you laugh.
>A deep hearty laugh. A mountainous laugh. A masterful ruse laugh.
"You really thought you had me there, didn't you? Tell me, do you just zone out whenever I talk about Earth; MY Earth?"
>The harsh hook of Twilight's smile losses its edge from the turn around, but it does not disappear. Instead, it transforms into a dare.
>"Well, one can only listen to the same thing so many times."
>She's got fight in her. Splendid.
"I may look horrendous to you because you have never seen a human before. I'm a creature with traits you haven't had the time to comprehend; that you can't comprehend. We, on the other hand..."
>You waggle your fingers for creepy emphasize
"We have ponies. To me you look cute, childish, harmless. Save for the whole magic thing, but that's cheating."
>She snickers
>"From what I've seen there's not much TO comprehend. A lazy nobody whose most productive ability is determining how much cereal is left based on the sound and capitalizes on his height for what little advantage it gives him. Really, when you consider that we can fly I'm hardly impressed."
"And you being able to fly is hardly impressive to one who has seen his brethren travel to the moon. Not with magic, not with ancient rituals, and not even with wings, but with science; something you claim to be a fierce advocate of. Yet here you are living in a...what would you call it? Hamlet? I mean, I get it, it's quaint, though it's not what comes to mind when someone thinks 'center of knowledge.'"

>>29524128
>She neither waivers nor falls.
>"Ah yes, your stories.I suppose you do have another talent after-all, you are very skilled at make-believe. Perhaps you should try writing fairy tales."
"Says the magical talking horse."
>"Says the delusional outcast. All those things I said about the other ponies and how they view you; they're true. So tell me, great inventor, what amazing feat of technology will you use to avoid the life of a bum?"
"Just this."
>You brandish a kitchen knife
>Twilight's pupils dilate and she lets out a short gasp she is quick to suck back in as if it was her very soul escaping
>"W-what are you going to do with that?"
>You raise the blade with Pinkie Pie levels of excitement
"I'mma go live innawoods."
>Life slingshots back into Twilight's eyes along with a perplexed stare
>"What?"
>You bust out the front door
"See you never, Twilight. You always were a bitch."
>And so life in Twilight's crystal castle returned to simpler times where the only viable test subject was a wimpy dragon with a growing appreciation for buttstuff
>As for Anonymous, he later died from blueberry poisoning

>>29524136

...
I love you.

>>29524234
The feelings mutual
We should fug

>>29524136
BLESS YOURRR SLAIOSJDALDASLDSDASLDF

>>29491598
I need more.

>>29490615
>>29491687
Anon is turning the dungeon into a fungeon.

>>29493104
If your story is relevant to more than one thread, you should post it in all of those applicable threads.

>>29493403
>>29495942
>>29496325
Continue.

>>29506281
You should link your posts together so we know immediately that they are part of the same story.

>>29509838
Amuse.

>>29510300
>>29510347
Maybe she meant Steven?

>>29513773
What kind of tea though?

>>29517537
Sit on them.

>>29518559
>Ponies.
>Being upset that someone killed some deer.
I'm not sure you know what a deer is.
They're worse than elves.

>>29518804
Do more things.

>>29524136
Also do more things.

Crosspostan:
>Be Anon in Equestria
>Be Broing it up with your bro Rainbro Dash.
>Right now you're doing normal bro things like brofisting.
>Though Rainbow has to use her hoof instead of a fist.
>You regret this.
>You are rushed to horsepital with a ruptured anus.
>"You are too marely Anon, we're turning you into a pony because fuck you."
>They turn you into a pony.
>This also heals your ass.
>You eat some hay.
>It tastes like hay.
>Today went poorly.

>Be Anon in Equestria
>You are still a pony.
>You go back to your house and find that you can't open the door with hooves.
>Rarity comes pas and sees you having trouble.
>She opens the door.
>While she is distracted you shove your hoof up her arse.
>"DARLING"
>She clenches and you feel a lot of pain in that limb.
>Later you find out that your leg is broken from her butt muscles.
>The horse doctor comes in with a revolver.
>Today definitely went poorly.

>>29517537
>>29524864

But then he'd get pony all over his pants.

Because the drawthread is on a mission to boop all the poners, even if there are immediate unpleasant consequences:
-----
>be Anonymous
>be in Equestria because yada yada
>meet Princess Celestia
>you can't stop yourself
>you reach out to her with a trembling finger
>startled, she stares cross-eyed at the tip of your approaching finger
>you touch her lightly on the tip of her nose
"Boop."
>the guards dogpile you
>you are thrown in the dungeon forever
>don't care
"Worth it."
>today you booped the snooter

>>29525359
She visits Anon in secret so he can boop her again.

>>29525419
>"And that's how we made the dungeon into a fungeon."
"But you still won't let me out, will you?"
>"But then who would boop me?"

Sorry for not posting anything recently. I started writing a green in the anonfilly thread and then some stuff happened. Updates will be less frequent and now my attention is being split between the two threads.

>>29525645
anonfilly sucks. focus on here

>>29525966
The problem with Anonfilly is that he doesn't suck enough. He should be going around blowing anything with a penis for cash while claiming that Twilight is forcing him to do this.

>>29525966
Yeah, but anonfilly is fun to write and I am kind of having writer's block with this story.

>>29525592
Greedy Celestia keeping all of those boops to herself.
She'll have a French haircut if she's not careful.

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>>29526960
>French haircut
...you kids and your modern slang.

>>29527457
All the french nobility are dying to get one.

>>29527514
oh i get it :|

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>>29527564
ur welcome

>>29526396
Aight

>>29527686
>dat shirt

Bump

>Be Anonymous
>Be in Horse Land for about a month
>Your stay here has been reasonably comfortable
>The only problem is that you are currently in Book Horse's Castle learning about how horse culture works
>You've gone through History, Literature, Customs, etc.
>The whole shebang
>At this point you have reached Music, your forte.
>Back home you were known to shred faces off
>Helter Skelter, Hey Joe, everything
>And I mean everything
>Even if you wanted to, you could bust out an old Russian Folk song
>As you're reading the text put in front of you, you learn that Unicorns here are keyed as the inventors of music
>They've mastered everything from Guitar to Percussion to god knows what else
>To put it blunt, they're expert's in their craft and they run with it
>Trot with it?
>Whatever
>Anyways, the point is you are going to prove them wrong
>And how?
>What do you think? Buy a guitar you twat
>Once your session is up, you say farewell to Purple Smart and head for the nearest music shop
>Once you get to one you head in, buy the guitar and get out
>Pony guitars are a little bit smaller then back home but you'll manage
>Your next stop, The Park
>As soon as you get there, you lay your ass down on a bench and start playing random riffs you know
>5 minutes in, a crowd starts to form, letting you know that was your que to really get into it
>A Little Sabbath here, some Pink Floyd there, and to top it all off you start playing the song that has gotten you laid numerous times

https://youtu.be/sI7XiJgt0vY

>Later that night you drowned in horse pussy
>The End

Its been a while since I wrote anything, but besides that let me know what you guys think.

Bumper

Bamp

>>29530476
>>29530819
Suck a dick.

>>29530888
just one?

>>29530888
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>You are a faggot.
>Not just any old faggot though.
>You are an unusually large faggot.
>Like as tall as a man.
>You are also in the shape of a wolf.
>You're a faggotwolf.
>You are not used to being in Equestria.
>Usually you are in Innawoods, Oregon.
>But you are not there anymore.
>You know this to be the case from the sign in front of you.
>It says Oregon is a few lightyears to the north.
>You hope that the gravity of this new star does not interfere with the orbit of the earth and cause damage to your faggot shack as a result.
>That's where you keep your stuff.
>You never were good at orbital mechanics so you decide to go to the library to brush up on it so you can determine if you need to panic or not.
>Thankfully the same signpost that told you you are not in Oregon also has a sign pointing to a nearby library.
>So you go to the library.
>It's locked.
>You check the sign and it should be open.
>You decide to ask one of the locals is they have any idea why the library isn't open.
>A few of them aren't running around screaming in mortal terror.
>You walk up to the calm local.
"Hi, do you know why the library is closed?"
>"I heard there's a big scary monster running around, that might be why. You should get indoors and hide like I'm going to do."
>That would explain it.
>You decide that you will indeed go along with the pink furred local and hide from the monster.
"That sounds like a good idea. Can I hide with you? I don't know any hiding good spots since I'm not from around here."
>"Okie dokie."
>You follow the pink local to and into a bakery.
>She locks the door behind the two of you and then draws the curtains shut.
>"While we're hiding, would you like to suck my dick?"
>Being a faggot, you cannot resist such an offer.
"Yes."
>You suck the horsepenis of the pink local.
>You both do your best to be quiet so the monster does not find you.
>Eventually everyone begins to come back outside after it is clear the monster is gone.

>>29531880
Which is better horse penis or horse pussy?

>>29532388
You could use a dickhole as a vag, but you couldn't use a vaghole as a dick.

>>29533023
You'd need a real needle dick to pull that off.

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Post prompts please, I want to try my hand at another story. I'm not creative enough for adventures, so try keeping it SoL if that's cool.
Also can't guarantee any will interest me but I'll do my best to keep an open mind.

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>>29533258
Rarity tries to get anon to exercise.

>>29533270
By using exercise books.

>>29533105
Or a big dick.
For you to stick yours into

>>29533270
Anon is already in good shape and finds Rarity insufferable.

>>29533312
You know very well that none of us can imagine what a big dick looks like.

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>>29533258
>Anon is having troubles adapting to pony society
>Ponies are obnoxious, noisy, touchy and smell like horse shit
>even their food is disgusting
>Anon finds out that griffons eat normal food and have much more human-like personality
>Anon have a moral dilemma
>should he move to griffon kingdom and abandon his friends?
>or stay with ponies that took care of him (when he arrived in this world) and lead a miserable life?
>should he even ask for advice of mane 6 and seriously hurt their feelings?

>>29533258
>You wake up. Smoke, shit, shower.
>Knock, knock, knock.
>You open the door
>"GREETINGS HOOMAN! HAVE YOU RECONSIDERED OUR OFFERING OF FRIENDSHIP?!"
"Just leave me alone, moonhorse."
>"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WE COULD BECOME PERFECT FRIENDS?! WE HAVE SO MANY THINGS IN COMMON! WE LIKE -"
>You close the door.
>"- STAYING UP LATE, WE HAVE TROUBLE ADAPTING TO MODERN PONY SOCIETY, WE -"
>You start making yourself some coffee.
>"- HAVE BEEN FEARED BY PLEBS AND NEITHER OF US HAVE ANY OTHER FRIENDS!"
>She'll get tired and leave soon. You hope.

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>>29533258
Anything based on pic related.

>>29533921
>"YET THE COMPANIONSHIP WE TOO DESIRE! IF IT WERE NOT FROM OUR OWN MISTAKES OTHERS WOULD SEE US AS VICTIMS OF CRUEL FATE!"
>You were joking when you mentioned coming here was a mistake
>"ALAS, THOUGH WE SEEK TO MEND OUR WAYS THE REST OF THE WORLD CAN STILL ONLY SEE THE MARKS OF DARKNESS!"
>You put some liquor in your coffee
>"EVEN NOW OUR DOMAIN OF NIGHT IS SEEN AS A SYMBOL OF EVIL!"
>Okay this is getting sad
"Fine, you can come in!"
>Luna crashes through your window
>"Your invitation is most well received! And glorious moon, I brought parcheesi!"
"No. If anything we are playing Guess Who."
>"I SHALL BE THE ONE WITH THE HAT!"
"Okay."
>And that is why you have never lost a game to Luna

>>29534286
Luna is very bad at games.
She loses at "Suck the Dick" every time she and Anon play.

>>29534345
Likewise, Anonymous hasn't won a game of "Don't Suck the Dick" since that one time in the barn.

>>29534465

How else is he going to get his protein in a town of filthy vegetarians.

>>29533921
>>29534286
This is practically a one-shot in itself. You should write more.

>>29534775
>protein
b12 deficiency is what fucks you in a veg diet, not protien

El bump

>>29534040
AB is straight savage.

>9

>>29534465
>>29534775
http://pastebin.com/5XPFUsCz
(too lazy to try to look up the original posts)

>>29536063
>Applebloom constantly asks Anon soul crushing questions without thinking about it
>"Hey Anon, do you think that after being here for so long everyone you used to know is dead?"
>"Hey Anon, if there's only one of you does that mean you can't have babies?"
>"Hey Anon, when you die who will you leave your stuff to?"
>"Hey Anon, can you really love somepony that looks nothing like you?"
>"Hey Anon, what would your family say if they saw you now?"
>"Hey Anon, why is that piece of rope hanging from your ceiling?"

>>29524020
It'll be a bit. Irl a shit.
Maybe do a smaller old unfinshed one for now that's just as dissapointing

>>29536218
I'm pretty sure I'm dead.
Yup. No, I'm not going to try anyway.
Since you're here I assume that I'm on land borrowed from your family that will revert to them in the event of my (next) death.
No, because I'm a human and not capable of love.
"Hi."
For climbing practice.

>>29536706
He later died from blueberry poisoning
Again

>>29490120
Does anyone remember the founding of AiE?

>>29536782
Yes

>>29536269
Take your time if you need it, as long as we get that delivery in the end.

>>29534850
Those posts were written by different Anons.

>>29537041
YOUR DIFFERENT ANONS

>>29536782
No, go fuck yourself with a horsecock.

>>29536782
Not personally, but I've heard he's an alright guy.

>>29536782
Why

>>29538002
Because you touch yourself at night.

I have a new fetish!

Shark Pony Fetish!

>>29538034
Tell us more.

>>29538034
I have a new fetish.
It's you Anon.
Now I'll unchain you and let you out of the basement if you promise not to run.
We're so far away from town it wouldn't do you any good anyway.

>>29538016
And the morning too. Don't forget that part.

>>29538721
It's easier to count the times you're not touching yourself.

Twilight used to keep a secret log of all of Anon's activities. She stopped when she noticed all he does is masturbate and wallow in self loathing before masturbating again.

>Anon has fireworks for a holiday
>Has just finished setting them up
>Lights the fuse
>Pony comes along
>Ponies have a tendancy to just eat whatever they find on the ground
>Anon has had to help many ponies with strings they've eaten during his job as a nurse at the horsepital
>Pony eats one of Anon's fireworks
>Pony explode

>Ponies have a new fad
>Anal fireworks
>They have fireworks built into buttplugs
>Much fun is had by ponies
>Chasing each other around backwards shooting fireballs from roman anal candles
>Streams of sparks fly from the rears of other ponies
>Some unfortunate ponies only get snakes
>It just looks like they're shitting

>Anon is on duty at the horsepital when a burn case comes in
>A pony had a butt firework accident and caught fire
>It falls to him to care for the victim
>Anon has to peel off the black caramelized coating from the pony's marshmallow body
>The pony is left with a soft goopy sticky body from the intense heat

>>29538990
And

>>29539513
And that's it.
That's how most human in Equestria situations end up.
They always get a broken example of humanity and are ill equipped to deal with them.
The best they can do is give them a place to live and food.
They are secretly relieved when the human eventually kills themselves.

>>29539711
OR
and here me out on this one
OR, it becomes a friendship problem that the mane 6 are unwilling to let go by unaddressed both for moral and contractual reasons
And Luna is super jelly

>>29539734
Friendship problem that is ruined by the human's lack of energy involving anything social and his terrible attempts at seduction.
Some ponies give in and gave the human pity sex only to be disappointment by his performance and the lingering smell that wouldn't wash out for weeks.

>>29539763
All of Equestria descends into a depression as the value of friendship becomes questioned leading to the downfall of this golden era for ponies.

>>29539846
Not really, they just assume Anon is incapable of friendship magic.
A magic retard if you will.

>>29539966
but it works on literally everyone else
except maybe Chrysalis

>>29539966
Seems reasonable

>>29536762
>It was a long trek back but anon got his souls back from the blueberry bush monster

Finished up the first part of a short story based on >>29534040. Gonna clear my head before revising, so I'll post it later.
Have a page 5 bump.

Crosspostan
>>29540360
>Be Maud at the rock farm.
>Your sister Pinkie brought a friend to stay for a few days.
>A dude friend.
>You heard him talking to pinkie as the two of them arrived.
>You're a little concerned about this.
>Unlike Pinkie and you, Inky and Blinky have never really gone far enough out from the farm to get used to guys.
>You'd better go talk to them.
>You go talk to them.
>Then you go see Pinkie.
>Pinkie introduces you to her friend.
>He's not a pony.
>That's odd.
>You tell Pinkie this.
>She agrees.
>Then Inky comes in.
>She spills her spaghetti all over the place when she sees Pinkie's friend.
>He is covered in sauce, it's all soaking into his clothes.
>Inky runs away.
>You think you might be able to salvage this situation.
>"I think we should go wash this sauce off."
>Now let's see what you look like without those clothes...

>>29538073
I imagine they just read >>29525128.

I'll call this story "Love is (not) in the Air" because titles are hard. Again, based on >>29534040.

>"Harder, Anon! I'm not a foal, ya know."
"If I push any harder, you'll end up wrapped around the pole."
>Despite your words, you oblige Apple Bloom, putting a little more force into your next thrust.
>The swing and its occupant shoot forward, cutting through the air until Apple Bloom is parallel with the ground, facing the cloudless sky.
>She lets out a small whoop right before the swing begins its journey back towards you.
>You can't remember the last time you used a swing set but you're sure you enjoyed it as much as Apple Bloom currently is.
>Her little Crusader buddies aren't around to take part in your impromptu swing session, although you don't mind. They can be quite the handful at times.
>Knowing them, they'd probably ask you to help come up with some scheme to get their Cutie Marks.
>Not that you'd decline.
>You take one step backwards and put your hand out to slow Apple Bloom's ascent. One firm shove later, she's heading away.
>You admire the Cutie Mark Crusaders' resolve. Although their eagerness borders on obsession at times, they never give up. They try everything.
>EVERYTHING.
>Results vary from simple failure to catching the cutie pox.
>That was an interesting day.
>Point is, you're always willing to lend them a hand when needed.
>You focus back on Apple Bloom's rapidly-approaching form.
>She's standing on the swing seat, fore-hooves gripping the rope. She's looking back at you with a determined expression.
>What in the hell is she going to do?
>You raise your arm again to push her, but Apple Bloom has other plans.
>Right before the swing reaches its apex, she launches herself backwards off the seat, performing a backflip.
>You begin to move in an effort to catch her, but stop almost immediately.
>Apple Bloom sails through the air far longer than any object of her size should. She lands barrel-first on your head, a single 'oomph' escaping her mouth.

>>29541703
>"Ta-da!"
>You laugh softly, bringing your hands together for a small round of applause.
"Very impressive. I'll admit you had me worried for a second."
>Apple Bloom huffs in annoyance. You can feel her chest move with each breath she takes.
>"Ah would've been fine no matter what happen'd."
>Of course she would. Doesn't mean you can't express concern.
>You don't say that, instead opting to nod your head. Her forelegs swing in and out of your peripheral vision.
"You're right."
>You reach up and poke her side. A giggle floats down to your ears.
"Enjoying the view up there?"
>"You bet! I wish I was as tall as you, Anon."
"Could you imagine? You'd have such long legs compared to the rest of your body. You would look like you were wearing stilts!"
>You give Apple Bloom's left foreleg a tug to emphasize the absurdity. Another giggle is heard.
>"Not like that, silly! Ah mean... more like Princess Celestia! She's tall, although I don't think she's as tall as you."
>No she is not. You wouldn't be surprised if you're the only being in Equestria she's ever had to literally look up to.
"Ahh, that makes more sense."
>You scrunch your face in mock thought before glancing upwards at the pale yellow chin blocking a portion of your view.
"You sure you don't want long legs?"
>No response.
>After a moment, you feel a hoof lightly flick your ear.
>Chuckling to yourself, you look back towards the now-still swing set and gesture towards it.
"So, you plan on getting back on or are you going to set up shop on my head?"
>You feel Apple Bloom shift slightly, hind-hooves finding purchase on your shoulder.
>A few seconds later, she pipes up.
>"I think Ah could use a snack right 'bout now."
"Home?"
>Her chin bobs up and down briefly before abruptly ceasing.
>"Home."
>You nod once before turning around. Time to pay a visit to Sweet Apple Acres.
>Apple Bloom can stay on your head. Her weight is barely noticeable.
>You walk in silence for a few minutes.