*bzzzzzzzt* *bzzzzzzzt* *bzzzzzzzt*

>>29415055
burn the phone with eternal fire

>>29415055
For fuck's sake Starlight, this isn't the number for Pizza Hut!

>>29415055
Glim Glam, you re drunk, stop calling me for cuddles

>>29415055
I want to have phone sex with Glim Glam.

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>>29415055
How the fuck is she using a cell phone

>>29415055
>"FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, GLIMMY, I DON'T WANT TO GO FUCKING BOWLING!"

>>29415055
>Dunk call from Starlight
>Bitch calls every drunken night to hang out.
>Why not hang with Twilight or friends? She doesn't want to listen to lessons and she' doesn't like her new friends...yet.
>Answer phone and this time she claims it's a three way with Trixie.
>Fuck yay!
>Go over and find out it was half true. Game night with Starlight and Trixie.
>God Fucking Damn it

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>>29415055
Hello?

>>29415137
Is it me you're looking for?

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>>29415137
I know what you're doing with my daughter

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>>29415055

NO THIS IS PATRICK

>>29415055
When you realize you're more likely to get a call from Glim Glam than finding a gf in the foreseeable future

The call that saved Equestria

>>29415055
"Glim Glam, stop calling me when you re drunk"
>You immediatelly end the call and go to sleep
>She only called you five times today
>But you were tired of her doing that every night
>And you really dont want to her listen to her drunken ramblings this time around
>*bzzzzzzzt* *bzzzzzzzt* *bzzzzzzzt*
>You pick it up
>"Anon...?"
"Stop calling me you damn whorse!"
>After shouting to the top of your lungs you hang up and take out the batteries
>She didnt seem drunk this time but whatever
>You better get some sleep, since Twilight will definetly have a piece of mind to give you
>Just like all the other times you hung up on her student
>Fucking Starlight

>You wake up with a ruckus outside
>Everyone is running somewhere
>Not wasting time you get clothed and go outside to see what this is all about
>Colgate will probably be mad at you for not flossing but whatever
>Everyone seems to stop close to the castle
>And on the ground you see her
>The one pony you never liked
>Twilight closed the perimeter with magic, but pegasi still flock the air around it
>The top of bubble doesnt go high enough, but you still can see that it lines up exactly with the castle balcony
>And that s on the last floor
"Well..."
>Twilight probably heard you as her eyes immediately makes contact
>And from the look she s giving you somehow she already knows it all
"WEW..."

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>>29415055
I would put it on speaker mode and insult her with all my friends around just so they can hear her cry

>>29415189
continue faggot

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>>29415143
I can see it in your eyes

>>29415216
Didnt mean to make a green outta it, only an one-shot

>>29415119
>Magic

>>29415055
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XuVXeLaKNU

>>29415055
>"Trixie! He did it again! Each time I call to try and ask him on a date, he just ends up hanging up on me!"
>"Can't he see that I actually like him!?"
"....Hello Starlight."
>"........"
>Across town, you can her the sound of an embarrassed unicorn screaming.

>>29415055
Implying that I have a mobile device.

>>29415189
twilight wouldn't give a fuck about you hanging up on starlight

>>29415306
Something something friendship something Starlight something something friends

Is this going to be the the flank phone thing all over again?
Screaming into Star's marepussy is hot and all, but I don't think she would tolerate it.

>>29415533
You've been reading too many fanfics. Twilight only cares if Starlight is not being a good friend, you know, the villain she's rehabilitating, her pupil. Otherwise she just rolls her eyes and goes stuff her face with burgers

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>>29415302

>>29415055
>Yo glimmy! I got the vodka, did you get the tendies?

>>29415055
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line and run as long possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound. Your test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

>>29416565
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBepe_WODBg

>>29415286
continue! The great and powerful anon is demanding it!

>>29415055
>answer call
>"Tell Trixie she's a skank."
"Gasp! Anon, Trixie is my friend!
>"Oh, right. Sorry. Tell Trixie she's a cunt."
>hang up

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>>29415055
"Hello? Yes, this is phone."

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>>29415187
fucking kek

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>>29417190
But who was phone?

>>29415286

Please make it end in an abusive relationship
Please

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>>29417208

what is it with the bogs and why are they meme? just because they are so ugly? is there anything i am missing???

>>29419086
Do you really wish to be bogpilled?

>>29419086
They're physicists who got a degree for bullshitting a thesis.

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>>29419088

i fear of the consequences senpai

>>29415055
>shitpost: the reddit horse
trashed immediately with extreme prejudice

>>29419093
Here's a quick rundown
>Rothschilds bow to Bogdanoffs
>In contact with aliens
>Possess psychic-like abilities
>Control france with an iron but fair fist
>Own castles & banks globally
>Direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line
>Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Bogdangrad will be be the first city)
>Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be Bogdanoff babies
>both brothers said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
>Ancient Indian scriptures tell of two angels who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
>They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world
>You likely have Bogdabots inside you right now
>The Bogdanoffs are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader's first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Bogdanoff bunker in Wilkes land?
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/feb/12/pope-francis-russian-orthodox-patriarch-kirill-make-history-cuba-first-meeting-in-1000-years
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/12162705/Patriarch-Kirill-meets-penguins-in-Antarctica.html
>They learned fluent French in under a week
>Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the twins. There's no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Bogdanoff
>The twins are about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don't know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they're benevolent beings.

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>>29419092
>>29419102

consider me bogpilled, thank you for this profound enlightenment

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>>29415055
I work Glim Glam would call me...

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>>29415226
I can see it in your smile

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>pick up the phone
>"Anon. The stuff is ready. You know where to go. Hurry up, they're already onto you."
>what the fuck
"What? Gli-"
>click
>motherfucking horse hung up on you
>no fucking idea what she's talking about
>hear police sirens in the distance, steadily getitng louder

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>>29415055
"Hello?"
>...
>"Glimmer?"
>...
>...
>Hang up
"Huh that was weird, I guess she butt dialed me."
>"...Wait, glimmer doesn't have pockets"
>"Then that means..."

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>>29419102
>Celestia and Luna bow to the Flim Flam brothers
>In contact with Starswirl the bearded
>Rumoured to possess alicorn abilities
>Control Canterlot with an iron hoof
>Own businesses and castles all over Equestria
>Direct descendants of Fausticorn
>Will bankroll the first cities outside of Equus (Flimflamville will be the first city)
>Own basically every magic research facility on Equus
>Published theoretical magic scrolls over 2000 years ahead of their time. Twilight Sparkle is still unable to understand the complexities of their research
>First ascended alicorn babies will be Flim Flam babies
>Both brothers said to have 200+ IQ
>Ancient alicorn scriptures tell of two unicorns who will descend upon Equus, and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented magical and technological progress with them
>There are the Flim Flam brothers
>They own Ponybot R&D labs around the world
>You likely have Flimflambots inside you right now
>The Flim Flam brothers are in regular communication with ancient alicorns who preceded the princesses, forwarding the word of the Gods to all ponykind
>Learned fluent Equestrian in under a week
>Saved Canterlot from destruction with a single scroll
>Cities in Equestria entrust their gold and gem reserves with the twins. There are no gems or gold in banks, only Flim and Flam have them
>The twins are 30 years old, from the space-time reference point of the base pony
>In reality, they are timeless ponies existing in all points of time and space from the birth of the elements of harmony to the end of the universe

>>29420286
kek

>>29415055
That's literally my username and my avatar. Top kek.

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>>29419094
>trashed immediately
>took the time to reply anyway

>>29415216

she clearly killed herself

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>>29415189
Why

>>29415055

>>29419406
> And that's when it hits you.
> Hard.
> You are Anonymous Incognito Estranger.
> But that's too on the nose (and long), so you usually go by Aie, retarded as it sounds.
> You are a world renowned spy, jewel thief, saboteur, and smuggler for hire...basically, a Jack of all trades in regards to jobs that require subtlety.
> And yet, you have never been identified, nor caught yet, despite all odds and your stupid name.
> Though it looks like your luck has just about run out.
> You had just pulled...a job of some sort, you're still fuzzy on the details of it, and thinking yourself successful, you proceeded to get so crunked out of your mind you dreamt of colorful ponies, some based on acquaintances you knew.
> Apparently, you managed to fuck up and reveal enough of yourself to be identified, whether it be by the authorities or some risks, it matters not at this point.
> Thankfully, one of your contacts that you actually trust somewhat, code named Starlight Glimmer, just called to give you a heads up, albeit brief.
> But you managed to get the gist of it:
>"You fucked up, numb nuts! Everything you'll need, clothes, cash, I.D., is already on the plane, now hurry up and get out of there!"
> Obviously, she would have worded it more professionally.
> As for where the plane's at? Down at the docks, at pier 3. One of those sea planes, apparently.
> Now to just get out of this shit hole of a motel before anyone notices.
>Thank fuck you already paid the fees in advance.

And that was my shitty story. If anyone feels like adding onto it, by all means, do so.

>>29415128
>"But beeeg Equestrian teeeeets!"

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>>29415055
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEhPYaM-RoU

>>29415189
"She probably tripped"

>>29415055

I want to kill her by rape

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>>29425441
Why would want to do something so horrible to this?

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>>29425484

Because she is hot and made for it?

>>29427632
No, you're a faggot.