RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>29393444
Topkek, and checked.

>>29393444
fuck you for making me want a snack.

>>29393445
>Seashell is a forum moderator
>Keeps forgetting to sticky important threads and doesn't know how to use half the site features
Best mod

>>29393458
Have a snickers anon.

>>29393475
I WANT ONE DAMNIT, BUT I DONT HAVE ONE, REEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I am hungry though. I am off to acquire food.

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We need more Seashell and her adorably dopey antics.

>>29393482
Safe trip Anon, take the boat with you, it is our greatest friend.

One of the captcha things for clicking all the storefronts had "BEEP" in big letters. I propose that Seashell makes a business as <cutie-mark related occupation> that has a big sign out front with "BOOP" on it.

OK, not to rock the boat here, but what exactly constitutes an :"acceptable" story or premise? I've noticed that RGRE is so big now that it's starting to take premises and ideas from from other threads like EQG/Fingerbang or MMP. I think we need to set of guidelines here or something to keep people from REEEing every time somebody tries someting different

>>29393471
Cute, not story worthy, but cute.

>>29393507
Wait a second, I have the file with me.

> Seashell has been through a lot of jobs because there is not a steady supply of work for demolitions
> Currently, she is the Ponyville boopsecutioner
> She's seen too many scrunches in her time, but crime never stops
> Drinks chocolate milk to forget at the local soda shop

>>29393483
Airhead pone a cute.
>Seashell trips on her gold-painted hoofwear and faceplants the stool
A CUTE

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>>29393507
A slice of sanity in this place of madness.

>>29393507
I wanted to say something snarky and what would probably start a multi post bitchfest, but this is actually a pretty good idea. A guideline for avoiding upsetting certain readers.

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>>29392573
>Rarity's biggest secret is her huge stash of dirty doujinshi and her personal grimoire full of self-invented lewd spells.
>Sadly, due to most stallions having delecate sensibilities regarding sex, she'll never get to live her dream of reenacting her favorite doujins and indulging a few of her fetishes.
>Until you come along, that is.

>>29393542
This is a brilliant post.

>Fetishfags stop posting about wanting [le fetishe] if you receive overwhelmingly negative feedback
>Anons, if you see a writefag that goes against your sensibilities, feel free to hide and filter the writefag.
>Writefags die when they don't receive (You)s.
>If the writefag performs badly, ignores constructive criticism, inserts fetishes unwanted by the majority of the board, and is beginning to attract other fetishfags, run them off with a pitchfork.
>This way, the thread stays open to new content and we can all enjoy the thread.

can we all propose a truce and agree to follow the points mentioned in the pic?

>>29393583
>Cuddling

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>>29393542
Can't believe someone capped that.

>>29393590
>>29393542
>>29393550
>>29393507
Your saying this like we don't do it already, did we have a smoke break while I wasn't looking?

>>29393590
The only problem is that fourth line you quoted. There are stories all the time that aren't fetish fics but seem like it to some anons for using a barely related plot device, and people attempt to bully them off the thread for it.

It's not a bad post, but I have no faith in the community to be perceptive.

>>29393603
Must've been a long break.

>>29393507
>Can we have a code of conduct in this thread?
pls go.

>>29393444
>"Spoonfeed me" summary
Great, we're one step closer to AiE now. Remember when we didn't have a synopsis solely for letting people figuring it out themselves?

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Where is everybody?
Why is it so cold?

>>29393621
We're became too big Anon, now we pay the price for our mortal insolence.

>After a magical mishap that allows the two to communicate via a notebook, Twilight and Anon enter into a transdimensional long-distance relationship
>After months of purely textual contact, Twilight finally devises a way for Anon to come visit Equestria
>While making her preparations, she begins to worry that the reversed gender roles of Equestria may cause Anon some stress
>He already has to accept the existence of magic, talking ponies, and the infinite vastness of the multiverse, being wolf whistled at would be a bridge too far
>She proceeds to organize the town to fake 'normal' gender roles for the duration of Anon's visit, with predictably bad results

>>29393507
Fuck no, we are doing just fine as is. Discord chat acting like a secret club not withstanding, but that could be said about any general with a discord. If we make a guideline then that just shows fetish/shitposters that they affected the thread in any way. Don't feed the shitposting, kill it, kill it with fire whenever it comes up, just like how we always do naturally. Making it official is just like painting a giant target on us.

>>29393621
There's nothing wrong with helping to attract new readers by actually telling them what the thread is about. It also helps to clarify that reversed gender roles means "mares are sexist against stallions" instead of... you know..... The F word.

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>>29393643
>Discord chat acting like a secret club not withstanding

>>29393660
You keep saying that, and I still haven't been proven wrong. Not to mention being completely right on the rest of the comment at that. But if you want to meme, go ahead.

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Remember the last time a stallion took power?

Resist Prince Anonymous and the phallocentric tyranny!

>>29393668
>I still haven't been proven wrong.
You made the claim, famalamadingdong, it's up to you to back it up not for us to prove you wrong.

>>29393660
oy vey don't talk about my gated community like that, it keeps the value quality high!

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Do you want Equestria to look like this?

Vote for the Pony Front, and end the scourge of immigration!

>>29393674
"Are you fucking-, oh my GOD, get the hell off my lawn! Stop eating my goddamn flowers! Can't a man have a few beers in peace?"

>>29393683
Lack of writefags that went off to it posting here. That is proof enough, though I forgive you for not noticing what with the recent shitposting going on.

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Remember when we were just a bunch of losers talking about magical ponies? Can we go back to that?

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>>29393689
I didn't know a different form of best pony could trigger me this much

>>29393626
I'm waiting for a prompt because I'm an unimaginative asshole

>>29393699
Maybe, its up to the ones starting shit today to fuck off/shut up...or we wait for a writefag to post something. Though we only have a few.

>>29393699
>>/mlpg/

>>29393704
Fair enough, what about weeb Rarity like this guy said.>>29393583

>>29393507
holy shit I fucked that post up. I just can't english today sorry

>>29393704
we should start a pastebin collecting story prompts anons suggest here, for writefags to browse when they're stuck in the writer's block.

>>29393711
I'm 100% trash at fetish writing, I can do lewd but I can't write clop for shit

>>29393711
How about sexually confused Rarity?
>>29392018

>>29393722
Seconded.

>>29393704
How about >>29393641?

>>29393728
Its not a fetish, but if you cant write clop then that's okay then.
>>29393730
This could be fun.

>>29393733
Here's a sort of prequel thing I wrote to try to get some attention to the idea last thread:
>>29388864
>>29388870

>>29393641
I'm actually working on this. I got the idea that instead of Anon just finding the notebook both he and Twilight both come across the book when they're very young. Anon and Twilight write to each other regularly but as time goes on he starts writing to her less and less until he stops altogether. As he grows up he becomes convinced that there was no magic at all involved and he was just writing words to himself playing with an imaginary friend.

>>29393792
oh shit, I started writing something but I like this more. Should I just stop now and wait for another prompt?

>>29393792
That sounds like a really interesting angle.

>>29393820
Keep this new prompt on the back burner, and finish the one your writing already, don't pull a Frosty and leave shit incomplete with no hope to end.

>>29393792
Whatever you do, don't stop.
I want to see this.
So badly.
mfw had imaginary friend during childhood.

>>29393641
I like this idea and I'd write green of this but I may only be able to start tomorrow or the weekend that is unless >>29393704 wants to then I'll let him since this'd only be my third green

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>>29393792
That's kinda depressing.

>>29393858
>>29393792
nevermind

>>29393836
You mean the Flurry one? Was anyone even interested in that? Plus there were a lot of plot holes because I suck at this

>>29393858
I'm pretty too new bro, I'll let you take this one because I suck

>>29393863
I cant remember if you didn't even finish that Flurry story, I thought you were referring to something else, nevermind me then, go nuts mate.

>>29393863
Was okay, had plotholes, cardboard characters but it was okay for a first work.

>>29393861
Its an incomplete thought. I don't want it to be such a sad story. Like I said, I'm still working on it

>>29393873
>>29393875
Yeah, the characters were cardboard as fuck, which is why I figured I'd start with a new prompt and a clean slate, but I guess I'll keep going with the Flurry story if there's a demand for it

>>29393643
>>Discord chat acting like a secret club
>>kill it with fire whenever it comes up, just like how we always do naturally.
>get buttmad that writefags have a sekrit club (no girls allowed)
>immediately talk about gatekeeping the thread
this is why nobody values your opinion

>>29393906
It's not unsalvageable, just progress more cautiously.

>>29393871
>>29393906
Keep at it. Don't give up

>>29393906
Practice makes perfect.

>>29393916
There's a writers discord? How do I get in lmao

>>29393851
> I had an imaginary doctor
> "My imaginary doctor says it's okay for me to have another bowl of ice cream."

> Anon is a spirit that got misfiled by the grim reaper
> He now wanders Equestria trying to find a way back to life, or maybe to the local heaven
> Only foals and the mentally unstable can see or hear him
> Little Twilight fulfills both conditions
> Anon encourages her to push the boundaries of science
> Learns magic theory along with her, but he doesn't have a good intuitive grasp of what it can actually do
> Part of why Twilight was so obsessed in "Feeling Pinkie Keen" was because Pinkie's metaphysical powers implied that there might be magics that could defy the current understanding, maybe even incarnate Anon
> Meanwhile, Anon stays the fuck away from Pinkie, she looks freaky from the astral plane
> As Twilight learns friendship lessons, Anon becomes fainter and fainter to her
> By the time she is princess, she has so many duties, she rarely dabbles in mad science anymore
> She did have that one imaginary friend that she made up, to comfort her when she was new and unsure in a new school, but she will never admit that she had an imaginary stallion
> Sometimes she guiltily shlicks to fantasies about him, feeling foalish and like she is defiling a pure part of her childhood
> Anon amuses himself by trying to match her pace with ghost dickings

>>29393941
Step 1. Write green

Step 2. Get invited by the spook writefags that lurk the thread

Step 3. Never post green again

>>29393941
The discord is a place for more advanced, steady writers.
Think of it as Writing 201/301.
Not much goes on in the discord chat, so if you're looking to pal around, so you're not missing out on much.

>>29393961
>never post green again
I like the sound of this
time to get gud

>>29393982
>get gud
Not gitting gudder.
Do you even Inglish

>>29393941
No writefag that goes in comes back out. Don't ask to hurt the thread.
>>29393961
Accurate summation.

>>29393689
How is she hotter than regular celestia?!!

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>>29393883
>I don't want it to be such a sad story
A little feels never killed anyone.
That's probably not true, but still

http://pastebin.com/cRBn1ihu
Pastebin for anybody who cares
I'll update soon

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>"A colt like you shouldn't be alone in this time of the year..."
>The big mare gently pushes you down with her muzzle, and smooches her lips into yours
>"Mhmm..."
>Twilight's head tracks down, first breathing over your dick
>Her horse tongue sticks out, and she licks it up and into her mouth
>The princess' head bobs up and down with a firm sucking motion, as if she's grazing on your cock
>Judging from how you tense and throb, she senses an orgasm and casts a spell on your balls, which feels like a dull thud
>You cum into her mouth, but you cum a lot more than normal, with a huge load that's enough to inflate her cheeks before she swallows it down and repeats
>Your hips weakly thrust into her mouth while a kind of high takes you over
>Her gulps are in sync with your throbs, freely drinking your seed like a straw while you seemingly can't stop cumming, and oh god it feels amazing
>When you finally stop, she lets go with an "Aah!"
>"Thanks for the protein, Anon!"

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Roboponies when?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnDZMg-DQbQ

You will see robowaifus in your lifetime.
With weapon attachments and predator modules.

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>>29394120

>>29394152
Christ I haven't seen that pic in years

>>29394157
That kid's probably like 30 now.

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>>29394139
neat

>>29394084
>They took him!
>They took YOUR Anon!
>They burst right into your damn castle, and took him!
>You were supposed to be his mare!
>You were supposed to protect him!
>You won't stand for this
>You won't!
>You run back to the bedroom with the gaping hole in the wall
>Leaping right through the hole, your wings unfurl completely
>Ohh, you remember you weren't so good at flying
>But you had to rescue Anon!
>You could see the nasty stallion carrying him off in the distance
>Anon could see you too!
>He was waving at you!
>He knew his strong mare was about to save him from these evil stallions!
"Hold on, Anon! I'm coming!"

>What was that in the distance?
>Oh no.
>Was that Flurry?
>Eeyup.
>Shit, she's gonna get herself hurt trying to save you!
>You try and wave her off without attracting attention to her, but that just makes her go faster
>The crowds noticed her now, too.
>They're starting to throw everything they can grab at Flurry
>"DEATH TO THE MATRIARCHY!"
>Luckily their aim is piss-poor, but a few land their shots
>A pony can only take so many rocks and other shit to her underside though, and you notice she's beginning to falter
>But she's hot-headed and determined as always
"Flurry, I'll be fine! Don't hurt yourself over me!"
>"No, Anon, I'm coming to rescue you!"
>Damn, she doesn't give up!
>Wait, what was that rising up next to her?
>Oh shit.
>A team of unicorns was working to hoist a piano into the air
>And they were about to throw it at Flurry!
"Flurry! Look out!"
>"Huh? OOMPH!"
>The piano hit her right in the side, and she and the piano crashed downwards into a house.
"Aw, no!"
>A cheer erupted from the crowd below
>You really hoped she wasn't dead
>But then again, if she was then at least you wouldn't be stuck in a shotgun marriage
>Even if you did kinda enjoy it
>Out of nowhere, the stallion drops you into a break in the crowd
>"We're here! Oh, I dropped you, didn't I? Sorry, Anon. C'mon, we'll take you to the boss."
>Not like you had any choice.

>>29393958
>Starlight becomes a student to Twilight
>Not knowing about friendship and still reeling from her previous actions have left her feeling alone and unstable
>Finds Anonymous walking the halls of the castle and goes to confront him
>She is amazed and slightly terrified to find out her magic has no effect on him
>She is even more surprised that he understands magic at it's most fundamental level
>They begin to bond to help Glimmer simmer down into her new life
>Being careless Glimmer speaks to Anon whenever and wherever
>Hearing Glimmer talking to Anon one day, Twilight begins to follow her and take notes
>Makes the connection that this Anon is her Anon and he was actually real all along but can only be perceived by a select few
>She is heartbroken that she ever doubted his existence and abandoned him similarly to how she did with her friends in Canterlot
>In an attempt to reconcile with one of her oldest friends and trusted advisers she attempts to tear open a path for Anon to come and meet the rest of the ponies of Equestria
>Luna and Celestia welcome their old friend into the world of the living

>>29394464
>>"Huh? OOMPH!"
>>The piano hit her right in the side, and she and the piano crashed downwards into a house.
>"Aw, no!"
>>A cheer erupted from the crowd below
>>You really hoped she wasn't dead
>Assault on royalty is a very serious crime
>Anon has no choice but to identify the stallions involved
>The stallions are sentenced to a few decades in the dungeon

>>29394510
>>Luna and Celestia welcome their old friend into the world of the living
i like thing

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Like what is so bad about the discord? I have been lurking for a long time in many generals and a chat has aways helped. Like the flutterrape Skype group.

>>29394662
It's just some autist bitching about it as he thinks it takes the writefags away from the threads.

>>29394510
Make it happen.

>>29394662
>>29394716
Because it does take away writefags, non come out except durnk, for obvious reasons. Fuck the damn chat and every parasite in it, the thread is better than that shithole any day....well this thread at any rate, don't know about that pit called flutterrape. But I will assume your lying or don't know any better. Though I am not interested in pointing out a problem like that from the rest of the hot mess, so you know, do you then.

>>29394204
WTF is that thing ?
Genuinely interested.

>>29394662
There are two sides to the argument.

Discord is Bad because of below speculations:-
-It takes away writerfags
-They post discord exclusive greentext and circlejerk in their seekrit kalb
-It will remove on topic discussion within thread.

Discord is not bad because of below facts:-
-Quality of green has risen since creation of discord chat. (Greens have less errors, Naysayers have to agree that LAP's work has gotten better)
-Writerfags post walls of text.
-AnalplugAnon is back despite his retirement.
-Writerfags are given incentive to stay because of emotional investment in the discord friendship.

>>29394840
One of Boston Dynamics new Skynet additions.

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>>29394464
I hate my life. My computer shut itself down to update as I was about to post my second part of the story for the night and it all got deleted. I'm kinda triggered, so I might just write in a doc or something and dump it tomorrow

>>29394875
This is exactly why you don't write anything in 4chan's post window and save every other line or so in a document.

>>29394875
Use Linux n00b

>>29394510
I too show support for thing

>>29394643
>>29394772
>>29395008
I will consider making this full green though I wonder where you guys want me to start
Twilight
or
Starlight

>>29395093
Probably do a short prequel with twi or start with Starlight and have flashbacks/stories.

>>29394775
>Because it does take away writefags, non come out except durnk, for obvious reasons. Fuck the damn chat and every parasite in it, the thread is better than that shithole any day....
Prove it, then, and don't just say, "Oh we haven't been getting green for a long time" because writefag activeness has always slumped from time to time.Stop assuming what's happening and actually record threads in months Discord chat was established to the same time periods pre-Discord. Make an effective argumeny by, y'know, using actual facts and research? You're not being persuasive at all by just saying, "there will be less people and I'm right."

>>29395114
>tries to conflate writefags posting in the thread that don't use the chat with the pieces of shit that do
So, are you going figure out how dumb that sounds anytime soon? Because if you don't understand when I say it now then it would be a waste of time arguing with you. But fine then, bend over backwards for the nobodies in the chat that do nothing, I aint gonna break your fantasy for you.

>>29394844
>>29395114
Don't argue with it, it's just going to keep claiming to have facts, never show them because it is "self evident", continue slinging ad hominems until somebody cracks and does the same, then the argument will devolve into REEEEEEs.
Just let the dog bark and ignore it.

>>29395093
Maybe have a bit showing Anon coping with the first bits of being dead and ghosty, and figuring out what he will do, then jump to Twilight's early school years, then a bit showing twilight not hearing Anon anymore, then go glimmer for real.
As an aside, I wanted to make this reference:
> Be Anon, wandering shade
> You had hopes that you could find human civiliation, but no, just pony civiliation
> There better not be a half-buried Statue of Liberty somewhere

>>29395134
Why are you acting all high and mighty when you just proved that you're arrogant to what others say?
>it would be a waste of time arguing with you
I see that it is, considering how every time a claim is brought up for the chat, your counterargument every time is just "Nope, I'm still right, and nothing will prove my opinion wrong."

P.S. Get a trip so we can start filtering you already

>>29395181
I actually appreciate him you know. His terrible attitude and arrogance are driving so many people away that he's never going to find someone who will actually try and prove his claims right.

>>29394875
And this is why you disable updates. This happened to me one time, and one time only. I played The Elder Scrolls IV for like, half of the day, then paused to eat. When I came back my laptop had rebooted because of updates, and I lost a fuckton of progress. Almost threw the damn thing out of the window.
That was 10 years ago. Fuck you, time.

Also, use notepad++ to write. It automatically saves things.

>>29395420
>When I came back my laptop had rebooted because of updates
This really wrinkles my sprinkles. I feel your pain.

>>29395181
>P.S. Get a trip so we can start filtering you already
What a beautiful dream that would be.

>>29393699
MAKE /MLP/ GREAT AGAIN!!!

he's got dubs we have to.

>>29393722
I would love for this to happen but I sure as hell ain't gonna be the one to do it.

>>29393792
I came to this thread to fulfill my wishes, not feel. So hopefully this is the backstory to "Anon discovers his imaginary friend was real"

>>29393820
Two greens having similar premises has never stopped us from enjoying them before.

>>29393958
There was a really similar prompt to this where Anon made it only part way to Equestria, and ended up tumbling between pony dreams.
Luna discovers him, gets to know him and starts liking him. She has trouble convincing the other princesses that her dream boyfriend is real.


>>29394510
Motherfuckin thumbs up

>>29395093
At least do a bit with Twilight so her emotional attachment doesn't come out of nowhere.

>>29394510
I like this idea, we need more of it.

>>29395158
This is a good idea. Make it start with his arrival to pone-land, then have his important interactions before jumping to modern day. So if you went with the 'he was friends with Celestia and Luna when they were young' route, you'd probably want to show their first meeting as well as a bunch of their important memories together before moving to the next person he befriended. Maybe Celestia couldn't see him, but Luna could at some point? How would that affect her fall into being NMM? Could Celestia see him again afterwards because of how emotionally shattered she was? Stuff like that.

>>29395707
> Could Celestia see him again afterwards because of how emotionally shattered she was?
Oh no
Anon helps the ponies who see him until they can't. He is the instrument of his own isolation. That is simultaneously great and terrible.

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>>29394875
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxXs0Yy5-0Y&

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>>29395598
>>29393641
Mashing these together.

>Every night for years, Anon dreams of an odd blue equine on the moon.
>She seems so real and lonely in the dream, so he feels the need to interact with her.
>And each time he returns, she's lonely and longing for company once more.
>One night at a time, he learns the story of Luna the alicorn and her backwards home, Equestria.
>Slowly, he begins to doubt these are even dreams.
>But what could be going on? Is Luna real? Or not?
>Regardless, he finds his heart yearning for the strange alien pony he meets each night.
>Just the thought of her boldly proclaiming that she would "be his knight most chivalrous" makes him smile.
>But after nearly 3 years, the dreams stop, leaving the human heart broken.
>Until his alien pony decides he should be at her side in person, that is.

>On the other side, Princess Luna struggles to keep sane with her 1000 years of isolation.
>Each day is a hard-fought battle to not submit to the madness gnawing on the edge of her mind.
>But one year in, she does something unexpected.
>Sleep takes her, and she dreams.
>And in her dream, is a strange bipedal male. One who doesn't fear. her.
>In-fact, he APPROACHES her, an unsure offer of friendship ready.
>It's all too good to be true. She found an escape.
>But as quick as it happens, the dream ends with him promising to come back.
>And so she waited.
>And wait for a whole year she did, until the next dream came.
>Each year, he came back, giving Luna the motivation to keep going.
>For 1000 years she lives like this. Learning more about her visitor and letting the precious memories hold her over. All the way to her freedom.
>But now free and at full power, the Princess will not be denied her most beloved companion any longer. The chivalrous princess NEEDS her sweet human.
>There's some time and space that needs broken...

>>29395707
Personally, I'd like that he knew Celestia and Luna in life to be a surprise. Foreshadowed, perhaps, but a big reveal.

>>29395824
BEST AT HUGS
hnnnnnnng

>>29395824
>3 years
>1000 years
man im confused

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>>29395824
I have never wanted something so badly in my entire life.

>>29395849
Anon dreams each night for 1000 days.
Luna only dreams once a year for 1000 years.

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>>29395824
This sounds like it could be a cute story.

>>29395849
1 dream for Anon = 1 yearly visit
3 years = 1095 days; 1095 sleeps; 1095 yearly visits

>>29395814
only the evil dead can know peace THIS. IS. MY BOOMSTICK

>>29395855
>>29395866
1000 days = 2.74 years

>>29395877
Are you legitimately bewildered that the story telling Anon felt that rounding 95 days off was fine for the purpose of story telling, or are you being ridiculous on purpose?

>>29395895
I was just pointing out the math in the
>nearly 3 years
part.

>>29395855
>>29395866
ah
i see then
so the story is going with time in equestria passing significantly faster

>>29395986
... slower...

>>29395910
Whoops. Sorry. I see that now.

>>29396045
yes thats what i said

>>29395910
So, >autism?

Fucking...

Time works differently in Equestria. It shouldn't take 8 posts to iron out all the details.

>>29396076
How differently?

>>29396080
many differently.

>>29396080
Narnia differently.

>>29396076
Not so fast!
It may only be significantly different when dealing with the magical dream nexus by which Anon and Luna were interacting.

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>>29396131

>Anon is a stripper
>Comes out of giant birthday cakes and gives the lucky mare a lapdance
>Sometimes the mares get drunk and ramble to him about how it's not right that he has to strip for a living and how they're going to "save" him
>Anon never hears from them again
Such is life for Anon the stripper.

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>>29395824
Goddamn... I have so many writing projects already... screw you guys for coming up with cool stuff.

>>29396484
WRITE FASTER

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>>29396273
>Pinkie hires him for Cadence's bachelorette party
>this happens after the changeling fiasco but wasn't shown in the show for obvious reasons
>all of the M6 get drunk and promise to herd up and save Anon
>he dismisses it like always
>in the morning he extricates himself from the pile of mares sleeping around him
>goes back to ponyville
>hfw they all show up at his house within a week
>they were all serious
>somehow wrangled [author's waifus] into it as well
>or maybe all the pie siblings, or Lyra/Bon Bon, or princesses minus cadence, or whatever you prefer

>>29396497
>>29396484
* Whip Crack *

>>29396484
Move it writefag and the honor could be yours.

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>>29396500
Yeah, I'd read that. And then there were none.

>>29394875
I look forward to it.

>>29395824
Keep going, I like this.

>>29393958
>>29394510
I want to read more of this.

>>29394120
I don't understand.

>>29393507
>I think we need to set of guidelines here or something to keep people from REEEing every time somebody tries someting different
>creating a safe place so people won't be triggered

This irony always depresses me.

What does it matter if people get triggered? It's not like the dude who REEEEEs about the fetish of the week is physically stopping anybody from writing. Like, if somebody doesn't like what you write, what's the worst they can do? Watch for whenever you post an update and say that they don't like it? It sucks when people act that way, and I have honest sympathy for the people who get angry over that behaviour, but it isn't like they can actually DO anything.

>>29396662
>I don't understand.

Twilight drank Anon's cum to get some needed protein and other nutrients.

Goodnight, RGRE. I still believe in you.

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>>29395824
>Love for Luna
Yeeeeeeessssss

would it be inappropriate to write another green based on Anon being ugly as sin to ponies while another one is still in the works? and may never be finished?

>>29397348
Go ahead, the one being written doesn't have anon being ugly as sin itself, just normal ugly.

>>29393626
>/^HerdAnon$/
well... Fuck...

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>>29393583
Found a thing just now.

>>29397381
pretty sure that's every single active writefag with a trip that's posted in the last month. don't worry about downboats, herdanon, this isn't plebbit.

>>29397381
I'm the Anon that posted that.
It's just a joke.
My filter list is blank.

>>29396794
It usually turns the whole thread into a shitposting shitstorm for a day or rarely several entire threads in a row, it's just an annoying pain in the ass overall.

But you're right, they can't actually force the writers to stop. But then, those of us who want to just post and read about cute poners can't force the REEEEE-ers to shut up about it either.

Just have to wait for one side to give up and stop, and unfortunately, it's usually the writers who stop.

Though on the rare occasions where the Writers win, then sometimes new subjects become acceptable or even standard fare in the thread.

Like RGREqG stuff for example. That used to never show up, and there was a lot of complaining about it when it did start getting posted. But then we got some actually good prompts and stories about it.

Despite the naysayers and prophets of doom, the thread didn't turn into nothing but EqG, it shows up somewhat frequently (more so when LaP is posting a story about it), but regular ponies is still far more common. >No Hooves is just another RGR flavor now.

Which I think is a good thing. The thread being able to evolve and incorporate new ideas is one of the things keeping it from stagnating into a circlejerk about the exact same shit rehashed the exact same way 9001 times until everyone loses interest and the thread dies.

That doesn't mean we have to accept shit, both figurative and literal, but pushing the boundaries is required to keep giving the thread those injections of life.

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>>29397419
I'm the real Herd and I know that, if you were serious you wouldn't be able to read shit seeing as you have Anon there too.>>29397381 is just my... Well really I don't know what the fuck his deal is to be honest. Just so people know if you see no trip it's not me it's fake, I have my trip saved.

>>29397348
We've never had a problem with two greens with similar premises at the same time before.
Plus, uglynon in RGRE is a pretty broad idea.

>>29393626
>>29397419
Fucking anonymouses, they ruined anonymity.

>>29397570
Fuck you, I'm HerdAnon!

>>29397575
Is it anonymouses? or Anonymousi?

>HerdAnon
>Anon in Herdquestria
>A human in a world of magical talking herds of magical ponies
>Instead of each pony having a mind, there are a group of different pony bodies that are collectively one mind per group.
>Each group would typically all have the same colouration shared between constituent bodies
>For example, Big Mac would be a herd of maybe six large red stallions who works several fields at a time when he's farming.
>The number of pony bodies in a herd varies, but having less than four is extremely rare.
>Typically anything less than that would be the result of some recent accident that killed most of a herd's bodies.
>They see a mind only having one body as extremely unusual.
>These herds may be more protective of such a being.
>Unlike the herds who can live through even several ponies within then dying and recover, a human would be actually dead for full on reals.

>>29397588
>Ponies are mini hive minds
>Ponies are all actually extremely small Changeling Hives in disguise
>Chrysalis hasn't figured this out

>>29397588
Aah Durnk, don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'

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>>29394120

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>>29395824
I-I'm a horse

>>29397619
>"Your volume is considerably smaller than last time, Anon. Have you been eating and drinking enough? I made you a list and everything."
"Haaah, wurrgbl..."
>"You really should stick to it. How else am I going to share this with my friends? They'd be so disappointed if they each didn't get their own helping."

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>>29396484
Drop all inferior projects. Write the moon booty

Random thought, Canterlot is either the best place to put a city, or the worst place.
It only has one method of entry for non fliers.

That and Rainbitch Cunt is topcunt.

>>29397584
In Latin it'd be "anonymi". Hard to recognize, so I think the English generic plural is better.

>>29397707
It's a shit place to put a city. But an amazing location to put a fortress. The place is borderline unassailable through conventional means. Without collapsing the whole mountain, the only way to the ramparts is through a thin mountainous passage. And good luck setting up a siege equipment outside the walls too - no way you are going to bombard it uphill like that.

>>29397741
Really speaks of the bloody history of the three tribes doesn't it?
Methinks it was originally built by the unicorns to prevent earth pony sieges.
Pegasi are easy to deal with once they lose aerial superiority, compared to raising an lowering the sun and moon, what's a little firestorm?
That's how the unicorns are the de-facto royalty while the pegasi have a "General".
Puddinghead is nothing more than an uneducated earthpony trying to be nobility.
A beggar in a prince's clothes so to speak.

>>29397640
I'm currently writing an UglyAnon/Luna fic, but I'm still working through writing the portion of the story establishing Anon's status in equestria as the world's ugliest (and therefore, invisible) stallion. it might be a day or two, though. I've already written a few hundred lines, but I don't want to publish it until it gets to the RGRE parts (which will be hard, since no pony would really be jumping at the chance to get into a relationship with Uggo McFugly)

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>>29397774
There is a reason why the original capital of Equestria was built in the Everfree instead of just adopting one of the existing cities. By creating a focal point of a kingdom so close to Canterlot, the sisters would undermine the value of castle that had to be a splinter in the side of earth ponies and pegasi for decades. A symbolic move that wanted to topple the self-appointed nobility of unicorns.

I may or may not have an extensive and autistic headcanon about Equestrian history.

>>29397816
don't worry about sperging out about worldbuilding or writing a history that fits the show and makes sense. this autismofeat goes a long way in laying the groundwork for other stories, since they don't have to do the heavy lifting of creating a working timeline.

>>29397419
I figured this was the case last thread and it gave me a chuckle.

Even if it were real, I've never been upset or offended when someone says they filter me. It's a convenience for the writer if people who aren't willing to give their content a chance just move on, rather than complain that it exists.

>>29397820
>a history that fits the show
Well, I'm not sure how two holy orders fit in that. Then again, I accept the fact that it's not canon, but just my idea of how things could've been.

>>29397816
>>29397816
Nice, may I use this?
You're looking at the guy who's watched Hearth's Warming Eve twenty times more times than normally recommended, trying to fleshing out an extensive and autistic world for Docnon. So rest assured that you are not autismo.

>>29397816
>>29397857
if another story is written or you write out a reference sheet proposing a pony history, I'm going to use ideas from both for my next story either way

>>29397619
fuck me, this gif gave me a bigger boner than I thought it would

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>>29397879

>>29397888
kek bless you my friend for this bounty of boner and trips

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>>29397857
Sure.
I tend to find that Windigos' story meshes poorly with the rest of lore. If you try to take it literally, then you have a few massive gaps, like just how much time passed between the founding of Equestria and Discord's appearence, or how comes unicorns stopped being snobby despite still raising the sun (until Discord came about). If take it as apocryphal though, then you can either explain it by a climate change (small ice age) that caused ponies to migrate south, or just downright connect Windigos and Discord - both of them are related to chaos. It's not hard to see how over time the stories of divide and infighting could evolve to that legend, and it could have meant that "when we were not working together, Discord was ruining everything."
Bonus points for Earth Ponies/Pegasi asking Discord to take over the sun control, thus inviting a fox into a henhouse.

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>Twilight drinks Anon's cum daily and magically increases his production to the point where she practically farms him for it
>Markets it as a superdrink great for mares trying to stay in shape
>Gyms are packed full of mares taking sips of GrApeSeed™ in between squats
>Thin, athletic stallions go for jogs in the park with bottles of the stuff in tiny feedbags

>>29397640
>"Anonymous, you really ought to be more careful. Why, some mare could catch you alone and take you against your will!"
>You've had enough of this 'poor little stallion' bullshit
>You lean your head back and smirk, resting one hand on your hip and use the other to point a lone finger at the princess of the night
"I can take any pony on the planet, Princess, even you."
>"Is that a challenge, my LITTLE human?"
"Don't think your lithe figure and feminine wiles will make me hold back. U wanna go, m8?"
>Luna sputters for a moment, blushing up a storm and unable to counter verbally
>You take the advantage and pull your shirt off over your head
>Taking care to avoid knocking your sunglasses off
"I don't care how much you've toned that plot of yours, those elegant curves got nothin on dis bulk! IT'S GO TIME!"
>She finally recovers and smirks at you, narrowing her eyes
>That's a bit too wide a smirk though
>Maybe you're biting off more than you can chew
>"Challenge accepted, Anonymous. I think you'll find our techniques quite...tiresome. Could a naked ape like you earn our cries for mercy?"
>Fuck it, it's go time.
"That'll be hard to do when your twinkling mane is pressed against the floor, Princess. We didn't evolve from apes..."
>You twist at the waist and flex both your arms and your back
"...we evolved INTO APES!"
>She shudders and licks her lips for a moment
>Her horn lights up and you jump back, hopping from foot to foot and bringing your fists up in a boxing stance.
>Every door and window in the room suddenly slams shut.
>She stands and lowers her font half into a fighting stance, licking her lips.
>"Show me your moves, Anon, show me all of them..."

>>29397893
or, since the windigo's snouts are similar to Discord's, they, in desperation, used the life forces of their victims to merge into a form able to follow them wherever the ponies went, with enough power to overcome them all.

>>29397893
If you take a look at the behavior of the leaders, you can also argue that was when it all began.
Fighting over a rock?
Calling each other names like children?
Not sane behavior.

>>29397910
I need an adult.

>>29397774
The unicorn's original capital city, before migrating away from the Wendigoes was also portrayed as built on a mountain side. I tend to think Canterlot was intended to be the capital of Unicornia. (It's clearly a unicorn city, the mountain location, like the unicorn's original, the fact that magic is used to turn the seasons, and honestly just the number of them shown there; also the nearby range is called The Unicorn Mountains on maps.)

Personally, I think the mountain locations have more to do with gem mines and celestial observation than defensability (they're unicorns, their sheer arrogance demands that magic is the answer to beating attacks) but that's just me.

>>29397816
>I may or may not have an extensive and autistic headcanon about Equestrian history.
Son. Let me tell you about Equestrian History.
The castle of the two sisters was built over the Tree of Harmony, probably after and in honor of the defeat of Discord. (If it was built before, I imagine the sister felt EXTREMELY SILLY for missing the elements that were in their basement)

(And, unlike Tirek, who is is left a little vague, Discord explicitly attacked after the formation of Equestria.)

HOWEVER! There are options:
1: It's actually possible that Celestia and Luna weren't made rulers of Equestria until after beating Discord. (Though I think they were ascended from ponies involved in the unification; another is that they were tapped immediately for ruling post-unification, as ideal neutral parties.)

2: the Tree of Harmony was involved in the Anti-Wendigo spell, that cave it's in is the one the tribes sheltered in when they discovered that the Wendigoes had followed them to Unicornia/Pegasopolis/Earth. (This one requires Celestia and Luna come in later.)

>>29397914
>>29397917
DYEWTS?

pretty sure the everfree was explained
pretty sure a lot of what you're discussing has been in the show

>>29397893
I don't really see the problem.
Even if you don't assume that Celestia and Luna ruled Equestria approximately from its founding, there are plenty of reasons for the unicorns to stop being annoying. That's basically what the unification was about.

I don't think there's anything I've seen so far that places any time limits, upper or lower, on when Discord took over Equestria, other than it happened before Luna's rebellion.
We know Discord probably met Tirek, who entered the region probably before but at least around Unification (because Starswirl was young when Tirek and Scorpan came).

>>29397932
Not after season 3, no.
Didn't have the time for it.
And I heard the later seasons were bad fanfiction.
Can you point me to a canon explanation?

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>>29397935
Having that puts an uncomfortably short amount of time between the founding of Equestria (which has nothing to do with Luna and Celestia) and defeat of Discord. It all happened in the lifespan of Starswirl, as his apprentice was present in the Hearths Warming, and he helped the sisters found their castle. You would either have him go forth and travel through time, a really short period of Discord's reign, or Discord and Windigos being parallel.

>>29397943
been a while, but iirc the everfree was made because discord was spitting out seeds and those seeds made the forest and they were trying to burrow and reach the tree of harmony

>>29397930
celestia and luna were made the rulers of equestria after the ponies discovered they could move the sun and moon without losing their magic

before 30 unicorns had to sacrifice their magic to move the sun and moon each day

>>29397932
The show is just a suggestion.

>Be Anon in EVILquestria
>You were summoned here by the EVIL Princess Twilight Sparkle using dark magics.
>She did this because she is EVIL.
>Also because she is EVIL she locked you in one of the towers in her EVIL castle.
>Her EVIL minion Spike sometimes hangs out with you because he's kind of a slacker in the EVIL department.
>Several other departments too.
>But you overlook this because you are polite and he's more tolerable then the rest of the people around here.
>Who are pretty much exclusively EVIL and generally also magical ponies of some kind.
>Every day your EVIL captor Twilight comes up to your room at the top of the tower to make you read her EVIL fanfiction.
>From reading it you have gotten the impression that she's attracted to you.
>All the scenes where the EVIL villain falls in love with the prince she kidnapped.
>And the ones where they then have sex with the EVIL villain's EVIL mentor.
>You try not to let on that you've figured this out.
>You don't feel that way about her.
>You're too much of a faggot.
>You're not fucking a GIRL horse.
>Also being EVIL is kind of very annoying.
>All the EVIL laughter and EVIL plans and locking you in a tower and burning ponies alive and making you burn ponies alive with her and the then making you clean up the mess that doing that makes.
>You do not like those things.
>You dislike those things along with many of the other EVIL things she does.
>Feels bad man.

>>29397930
the tree of harmony was found by the princesses and they took the elements to beat discord and then they built the castle

also luna and celestia were alicorns way before they were made rulers

>>29397910
>Celestia is awoken in the middle of the night to find the castle shaking amid the sound of broken glass

>She finds a bunch of staff and guards peeking through a doorway trying to watch what's going on inside
>The door had been reduced to splinters

>"Dost thou surrender fair Anonymous?!" Her sister bellowed with a giggle

>Celestia finally gets to see what's going on inside
>A window was broken.
>A few of the floor tiles were cracked
>It looked like a tornado had gone through the room

>And off to the side, Luna is attempting to pin a shirtless Anonymous to the floor
>His pants are threatening to fall off of him if they rip any further
>Somehow his sunglasses remain fixed to his face
>"You haven't won yet Moonbutt!" He responded with a manic grin on his face

>>29397943
The later seasons being bad fanfiction is a meme

Watch the damn show

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>>29397967
>The later seasons being bad fanfiction is a meme
*cough*

>>29397950
I dunno, maybe it could be like the three days of ultron. But instead of ultron, it was the long weekend of Discord.

>>29397951
You would remember right, but the discussion is about the when of discord, not what he did.

>>29397967
I don't have the damn time.
But I damn well will when I have the damn chance.

>>29397969
Damn it Anon, I have a sore throat and that title made it worse.

Don't read these in the wrong tone please.

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>>29397971
>I have a sore throat

>>29397969
I will never not love the expression of that changeling to the right

>>29397951
No, the Everfree is as old as the Tree of Harmony, the seeds he spat out were the Plundervine seeds, just one kind of plant.

>>29397950
I don't remember the thing about Starswirl helping them create their castle. Was it something in Cutie Re-Mark I missed?
Even assuming that, there are several potential answers:
>travel through time
The time magic wing of the Canterlot library is named after him. So....

We have no idea how long Starswirl lived. And if you take canon literally, Granny Smith is "hundreds of years" old (and she has older relatives that are still alive too).

Finally, it actually makes perfect and hilarious sense for Discord to attack Equestria almost immediately after it was founded. "What's that Harmony? Can't be having that now."
And I've always assumed that Discord's original reign over Equestria was only marginally longer in real time than it was in Return of Harmony. Just because that's how the show goes.

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>>29397917
>"I am a adult Anon. "

>>29397992
>I don't remember the thing about Starswirl helping them create their castle
It was in the Journal of the Two Sisters, the only thing outside of show that I consider canon.

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>>29397996
>a adult
Uh huh. Who is your fillysitter and why did she let you out of the house?

>>29397966
Go for the ponut you green son of a bitch!

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>>29397998
What hold on... Oh god dam it!

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>>29397910
>U wanna go, m8?

>>29397997
I just looked it up on the wiki.
I may have to check that out, but the wiki summary has them finding the Tree of Harmony shortly after Unification. This means either Discord attacked immediately, or his attack somehow separated the sisters from the tree, requiring an arduous journey to get back to it.

>>29397961
Completely alternate universes are fun.

It is also a very fun game (at least for people with brains like mine) to see how close to canon we can make a story while still leaving room for invention.

>>29397966
This reminds me of one of the best scenes in Daring Douche.
http://pastebin.com/Tij1KxtS

Though that reminds me. Somebody (less lazy than I) needs to inform the fandom that tomato FRUITs are as fine for horses to eat as for humans. It's tomato plants that are poisonous. Which they also are to humans.

>>29398015
To be specific, plants of the nightshade family, potatoes too are poisonous to people and horses.

>>29398032
Yeah. In fact, I've heard that tomato fruit were assumed to be poisonous (to humans) in some places and times because of the poisonous-ness of the plant.

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what kinds of insults do ponies have for stallions that are easy, or sleep around a lot? wander-cock? mal-fatale?

>>29397588
thats actually kind of amusing to think about, not for a full on LaP size green, but for a one shot of everyone pitying him because he's solo

>>29398053
I love wander-cock.

Easy, slut, and any version of whor(s)e are applicable classics.

I wonder if we could find a way to express that they come out of their sheath too easy; like "loose".

Ready-dick? Maybe just "ready".

>>29398053
Whorse

>>29397588
I'm not gonna lie. I read a science fiction story about something similar (no horses) as a kid and it's sort of been my dream ever since.

Clone-bodies with shared minds.

>>29397932
The entire show after Faust left is full of inconsistencies, plot holes, chronological fuckups, shark jumps, anachronisms, out of place set pieces, and so on. Send everything after S2 to the bin, and suddenly the setting makes considerably more internal sense. It's fine to pick and choose a few things from the later seasons like some of the popular additional ponies that showed up, but beyond that you should treat the later seasons as (Past Sins-tier)fanfiction.

>>29398083
"Slider"
"Easy hanger"
"Slip dick"

Or maybe "Quick Dropper"

Though i doubt that mos mares mind it when they let it hang around them.
They like the attention too, even if it hurts their mareliness to admit it.

>>29398053
Mudtip (Implying dick is always out of the sheath, dragging precum on the ground)

The village saddle (everypony gets to have him on their back)

Stray Plow
Seed Breeze
Dandelion
Rump pump

>>29398222
Mudtip kinda implies coltcuddling tendencies.

>>29398222
So I herd u liek mudtips.

>>29398270
Or their version of a buttslut who will do anal for any mare who asks.

>>29397910
>>Taking care to avoid knocking your sunglasses off
I don't know why but this got me.

>>29397383
Want context for that pic

>>29398850
dumb bitch pissed the bed

>>29397557
So, then the trick is to just ignore the fuckwits who REEEEE about anything and everything. Why does anybody care about their opinion when all they do is spew doom and gloom? Who cares if some unreasonable asshole doesn't like Thing? Good for him I guess, right? It's like, "oh no, the crazy guy from the third floor who constantly shouts racial slurs, phones people up late at night and breathes heavily into the receiver, and pisses into jars and keeps them on his shelf doesn't like the way I park my car. I guess I better stop driving forever." You don't have to give up because some obsessive naysayer thinks your little bit of fucking My Little Pony fanfiction is going to herald in the End of Times.

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>>29397638

>>29397893
I love Luna's outfit. She's wearing her butt everywhere. It isn't even her cutie mark; just the butt splotches.

>>29395110
>>29395158
>>29395598
>>29396662
so here's what I was thinking, start off with Anon right as Twilight is beginning her training with Celestia, the main chunk of it will be after the Nightmare Moon incident obviously but I was also thinking of Anon being around nagging Twilight in some of the scenarios seen in the show, with other shenanigans and adventures and maybe popping in to see some of the other characters from time to time
Then moving on to Starlight where the second big bulk of the story would be with a lot more nu stuff
Then flashbacks here and there about Anon's life before Twilight
That's the basic groundwork I've got going though I will state that I might not be able to implement a lot of RGRE elements into the story since it's an imaginary friend and all
Any thoughts or suggestions would be really useful

>>29397969
Fuck, why does the green chest/torso part look like it's Mountain Dew with bubbles in it? And is that a sheath I see poking out?

>>29397976
The fuck is even with that colour scheme? Who designed this character? Who APPROVED it!?

>>29398002
>"Come on down to the Bar-B-Queer!"
>"..."
>"Aw, shit!"

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>>29398222
>The village saddle (everypony gets to have him on their back)

>>29397588
>Anon builds up a herd.
>Has only seen herd ponies one at a time.
>What he thought was six ponies, Twilight, Fluttershy, etc, are actually 36.
>Gets pounced by them all in a loving embrace after coming home one day.

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>>29393674

>Anon marries Twilight, becoming a Prince
>Twilight decides to leave Anon in charge of Ponyville while she's off doing important Princess stuff in another country
>her reaction when she comes back home and everything's on fire

>>29398956
Sounds good. You might have subtleish RGRE elements, like how the other mares treat Twilight's reclusiveness, or learning a certain spell to impress a stallion. Also, as Twilight matures, she will be looking at Anon with increasingly lewdness, staring at his crotch, looking for testicle bra-lines, etc.

>>29394033

It's dat zigger booty.

>>29399113
>tfw you will never be under a giant pile of loving mares.

>>29399156
It hurts.

>>29399155
>Ziglestia's ass isn't fat and visibly sagging
Immersion is ruined. The suspension of disbelief is just gone.

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>>29397961
EEEEVIIIIIL!

>>29399240

Give me a break Anon.

Surprisingly there are no pictures of fat ass zebra Celestia.

>>29398208
>They like the attention too, even if it hurts their mareliness to admit it.
It's just like bros on this side.
Fuck em because they're easy, call them names to retain pride.

>>29398222
>Dandelion
CAUSE THEY BLOW THEIR SEED ALL OVER

I have a feeling village saddle's gonna become a staple, it's good.

Wheres the anon that started the anon cant into pone age with the emo teen last thread?
>i want more

>>29399581
THIS!

>>29399581
ded

slaanesh

>>29399680
this is some seriously low effort shitposting

So, a bit off topic, I have one slot left for dbx2 and I wandering what character I should make.

I already made a trixie and a sunset.

What do?

>>29395420
I'll take your word for it and use Notepad++, thanks

>>29395814
I can relate to this video on a spiritual level

>>29399147
IT'S NOT MY FAULT

THAT DRAGON WAS GIVING ME THE EYES, TWILIGHT

THE EYES

YOU KNOW I CAN'T RESIST THE EYES

>>29399832
First disable automatic updates, just to be sure. But yeah, notepad++ is pretty good, you can even customize it to have greentext. Mine has the same font and colors of the Tomorrow theme.

>>29399712
Developing brain homeobox?

Maud Pie.

>>29399712
I think you've transcended autism at this point.

>>29399556
>>Dandelion
>CAUSE THEY BLOW THEIR SEED ALL OVER
FUCK
That's clever.

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Hey, I got that new thing I promised

>>29399945
OH SHIT NIGGA! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!

>>29399945

>“Anon! I need some blood!”

>Anonymous the human, also known as Anon by his friends and “that weird tall colt with the weird wigglers” to almost everyone else, looked up from his three-week-old Gabby Gums article. Standing in front of him, with an eager smile on her face, was his boss, the part-time princess and professional mad scientist Twilight Sparkle.

>The young princess looked as pristine as she did every morning. Her mane and tail had been fixed in such a way they gleamed in the sunlight, and her fur was trimmed and neat. There was also a bright, cheery smile on her face and a pleasant warmth in her lavender eyes. The mare before him didn’t look like a pony that would go asking people for blood. But he knew better. Oh, he knew better.

>Yawning, Anon reached over and grabbed his coffee cup, taking a sip of its contents while he thought over what she had just said.

>The rookie mistake would be to ask her [i]why[/i] she needed the blood, but he was no rookie. Whenever maniacal laughter echoed throughout the house, the hair on the back of his neck would stand on end. If the word “Science!” was screamed, he knew to immediately duck for cover. The very sight of beakers and glass vials gave him flashbacks of events that would turn the stomach of even the most grizzled Solar Guard.

>In the two months that he had been working with Twilight “the dork” Sparkle, he had become an old hand where her nonsense was concerned. He knew not to ask why she need blood because he knew that her answer would only leave him with more questions and a headache. So, setting down his newspaper and leaning back into his chair, he tried a different approach.

“What kind of blood do you need?” he asked matter-of-factly.

>“Oh, any kind of blood would do,” the princess chirped, walking over to the table that he was sitting at and hopping up into an empty chair.

>>29399953

>As she settled herself, the tip of her horn glowed. Across the kitchen, the half-full coffee pot was encased in a purple glow along with a ‘Number 1 Princess’ mug. With a flick of her horn, both objects were floated over. Anon, eyeing the coffee pot, slide his own mug over and gave it a little shake.

“And how much blood do you need, boss?” he asked as she refilled his mug while also helping herself to come coffee.

>“Ideally I’d need ten gallons, but I’d appreciate whatever amount you could get me, Anon,” she said, giving him a bright smile before taking a princess-like sip of her coffee.

>Again there was that temptation to ask [i]why[/i]. Why did she need so much blood? Why did she need blood at all? Why the heck was she asking him for it like he had oodles of the stuff in his fridge? But again, he resisted the urge.

>That was just what she wanted. He had to ignore the obvious trap and charge forward into the thick of it.

“Do you need fresh blood or will some stuff that’s a couple days old do?”

>Twilight opened her mouth but immediately closed it, her ears folding against her skull and her brow furrowing in thought.

>“I hadn’t thought of that, actually,” she admitted, looking down at her coffee mug with a frown.

“Well, if we need it fresh, then we’ll need to go out in the field to get it,” Anon said, drumming his fingers against the wooden table. “If you want to just go ahead and get the good stuff, I’d suggest that we set up a stand outside the castle offering ten bits for two pints of blood and see who we can get to come over.”

>“It’s illegal to solicit blood from ponies without a proper license,” Twilight said, though she didn’t look very pleased in saying it.

“License? Why the heck would we need a license to get blood from random ponies?”

>>29399963

>“A hundred and twenty years ago there was an incident with some unicorns in Canterlot. Back then it was popular to purchase blood from poor earth ponies so they could use it to fuel some of their more delicate spells,” the purple princess said, as if reciting it from a book. “The practice was eventually shut down when a demon was summoned incorrectly and rampaged through the city. Now not only are you not allowed to practice blood magic, but you need a medical license to be allowed to get any amount of blood from a pony.”

“Well that seems a little unfair,” the human said, laying it on a little thick. “Just because you had a few bad eggs doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be able to practice dark magic!”

>“I know, right?” Twilight said with huff, missing the sarcasm in his voice completely. “I’ve sent the princess half a dozen letters asking her to have the law repealed, but each time my request has been denied!”

Anon nearly rolled his eyes, but at the last moment he was able to reign in the urge. “You know, I’m sure if you went down to the hospital or the blood bank they’d give you all the blood that you need, law or not. You are a princess, after all.”

>“I went the other day,” she said, her muzzle scrunching up and her cheeks puffing out in indignation. “I spent an hour and a half trying to convince the hospital director to lend me some blood, but no matter how much I begged, she wouldn’t give me any.”

>The princess let out a raspberry. “She said something about me asking for too much or some horse apples like that…”

“Really? I can’t believe it! Ten gallons isn’t [i]that[/i] much blood,” Anon said, shaking his head as he took another sip of his coffee.

>Looking into his eyes, Twilight leaned across the table. She took a moment to look around the kitchen conspiringly, which had him rolling his eyes so hard they they nearly popped out of his head.

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>>29399969

>“I did the math last night,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “The hospital should have almost fifty gallons of blood from the blood drive they had a couple of days ago. Factoring in the possibility that they might have had to use some of the blood already and a few bags of it might have had to be discarded for multiple reasons they should have [i]at least[/i] forty-five gallons worth. More than enough that they’d be able to spare a couple of gallons.”

>Resting his elbows on the table, Anon let what Twilight just said hang in the air for a few moments. Like whenever she came to him with a crazy or odd demand, he wanted her to think about what she had just said. In doing so, he hoped that she’d realize just how crazy she sounded and would take the necessary steps to fix the problem, whatever it may be. But, just like every other time he had done this, Twilight just stared back at him expectantly, waiting for him to weigh in on her “problem”.

>Sighing, he took another sip of his coffee and quietly wondered what had happened to his childhood dream of becoming a traveling unicyclist.

“Well, if push comes to shove I can go down to the blood bank and show a little skin. You know how much they love giant, hairless stallions down here…”

>A smile broke out across Twilight’s face once more. “I’m really happy that you’re willing to go to that far to get my blood, Anon,” she said gratefully.

“I was actually being sarcastic,” Anon calmly responded. “I’m not going to flaunt myself in front of those weird blood ponies. If I’m going to be doing any flaunting, it’s going to be in front of a rich, single mare that’s preferably in her early fifties.”

>Twilight didn’t seem to hear, instead staring off into nothing with a glassy-eyed expression. “The scientific field needs ponies like you. Ponies that are willing to do whatever it takes to push the envelope, to set the bar a little higher!--”

>>29399984

“Not a pony. I was hoping you’d have figured that out by now, what with me having hands and all...”

>“Ponies like Clover the Clever and Starswirl the Bearded didn’t stop their research just because ponies didn’t agree with their methods! No, they buckled down, they put in the hours--”

“I don’t remember reading anywhere that Clover or Starswirl worked with blood magic.”

>“-- and sure, they might have done some… questionable things, but it was for the greater good! Without their works we might not have understood the mechanics of earth pony magic, or how a pegasus can form a cloud!”

>With a giggle, Twilight looked over at her resigned assistant, who was wishing with all of his might that he had slept in this morning.

>“I don’t know if our experiments will be as groundbreaking as theirs, but maybe they will,” the bookworm continued. “Maybe we’ll make a spell that jumpstarts a magical renaissance, or lets ponies leave our planet so they we can explore Luna’s stars!”

“I have absolutely no idea how you can be… [i]this[/i] at six in the morning,” Anon said, shaking his head. “I’d think it was impressive if I wasn’t the one that had to deal with it…”

>Giggle now turning into a cackle, Twilight threw her hooves up into the air. “Just think about it, Anon. In a few years we might discover something so amazing that our names will be said in the same sentence as Starswirl or Clover!”

>Ruffling her feathers in excitement, she hopped up onto the table and looking up at the ceiling. “I can see it now. I, the brilliant, daring, and virile scientist and you, the homely and humble assistant, forebearers of an important branch of science that helped make everyponies life better in ways that they couldn’t even imagine!”

Anon snorted. “Homely? I’ll have you know that I’m a [i]solid[/i] seven and a half out of ten.”

>>29400003

>“They’d have lectures on our work! There’d be statues of us erected in great places of learning! I might even get my own section in Canterlot library!”

“So we’re going to solve the mysteries of the universe with ten gallons of blood, then?” Anon asked, not quite sure that if he was ready for Twilight’s answer.

>“Don’t be a silly filly, Anon! You can’t solve anything with blood,” the purple bookworm said, giving him a pat on the head that, to him at least, felt just a little bit condescending. “The blood is just for a few… experiments that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now.”

>She ruffled her feathers in unrestrained glee.

>“Though, you never know…”

Anon nodded, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a small silver flask. “I’m guessing that these experiments are less than legal?” he asked.

>“I won’t tell the poince if you don’t,” Twilight said coolly.

“You know you’re a princess right?” the human asked. “You’re supposed to act with some grace and dignity.”

>Twilight smiled, looking deep into his eyes. “Science,” she simply said, her tone adopting an almost religious reverence as she said it.

“But--”

>“Science.”

“Twi, you can’t just--”

>“Sci-ence.”

>For the third time that morning, Anon felt the urge to question why. Why had he decided to work for this crazy purple horse? He could do better than this, couldn’t he? Maybe he could get a job as a laborer, or maybe a baker.

>Last time he walked by the local strip club in town he had seen that they were looking for exotic males. Maybe he could go and try his hand at that!

>As he pulled the top off the flask, however, he had remembered that no one in Ponyville wanted a giant alien stallion working for them. All except Twilight, the one mare that no one else wanted to work for because they all knew how looney she was.

>>29399953
>>“Anon! I need some blood!”
Already this is promising.

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>>29400014

>Groaning at his misfortunes, Anon, number one assistant to Princess Twilight Sparkle, poured half of the contents of his flask into his coffee mug. Putting the flask away and stirring his drink with his finger, he picked up his mug and took a sip.

>Twilight, who had watched him do this, frowned. “Anon, you know that drinking this early in the morning isn’t good for you,”

>Anon gave her the look of a man that has seen far too much in his young life and desperately wished that he was able to return to better times. Times when he still had a shred of innocence left and the world seemed a brighter place.

“We just had a five-minute conversation about getting ten gallons of blood,” he said, taking a big gulp of his “coffee”.

>“We did,” Twilight agreed, as if such conversations were on par with asking someone about the weather.

“You know that most assistants do things like clean up after their bosses and get their schedules in order, right?

>Twilight giggled, nudging him with a wither. “Aren’t you lucky you have such an interesting boss?” she asked.

>Giving her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, Anon made a mental note to check back on the strip club when he walked home later today. If he was lucky, maybe they’d still be hiring.

“It’s why I drink at six in the morning,” he said, raising his mug and toasting her.

>>29400019
Yep, and 10 gallons. Yeah, that's not a lot of blood for something like a blue whale.

>>29397588
Durnk, have you been reading Frank Herbert stuff without proper supervision again?

Please continue.

>>29400023
When I was writing that Celestia thing people were complaining about how OC I made Twilight. This, and every chapter whereafter, are for you lovely folks

>>29400033
I look forward to more Mad Scientist Twiggles in the future

>>29394875
>The stallion who had just dropped you flew back over to pick you up
"Thanks."
>"Y-yeah, no problem. Uhh, this way."
>You notice you're a little bit behind the crowd now
>The stallion who had carried you back here starts walking towards a house, and beckons for you to follow him with his wing
>The house is draped in posters and dark orange banners
>The stallion leads you inside, and you can see a group of stallions huddled around a table
>"Guys, I did it! I brought Anon!"
>The stallions turn to face you, and they certainly look pleased that you're here
>There's a few that you know, like Big Macintosh and your producer friend
>You'd done a few... "productions" with Big Mac
"Aw, Mac, you're here too?"
>"Eeyup."
>Great.
"Well, uh, thanks for rescuing me and all, but I think I'll be on my way. This is nuts."
>This stirs the group up, and they go back into their huddle
>After a little while, they turn to face you again, and an red-orange earth-pony stallion that you don't recognize speaks up
>"But Anon, don't you want to join our movement? You can enact revenge on the royals for kidnapping you and forcing you into marriage!"
"You're rioting in the streets, I don't really wanna be a part of this
>They return to their huddle
>The red-orange stallion pokes his head back out from the huddle after a few seconds
>"Okay Anon, maybe our offer was a bit rushed. Allow us to explain first, eh?"
>He's asking like you had a choice.
>With a sigh, you say "Fine."
>"Perfect! My name is Taurus-"
"Taurus, huh?"
>Taurus seems unfazed by this and continues talking
>"And I'm the leader per se of this revolution happening here. Now, with that out of the way, do you know why we are rebelling?"
"I can guess. This whole situation is pretty similar to another group of idiots from my world called feminists-"
>"I don't know what these 'feminists' had to deal with, but I assure you here it's much worse!"
>Right.
"Okay, okay, fine. Keep explaining."

>>29400039
>>"I don't know what these 'feminists' had to deal with, but I assure you here it's much worse!"
>"One time a mare looked at me. When I cried and accused her of stare-raping me, everpony started laugh-raping me!"

>>29400033
This story looks like it's going to be fun.

>>29400039
>"Here, mares expect us to not be capable of anything! I know you haven't been in this land a super long time, but I'm sure you've seen this!"
>Yes, you had noticed it
>Mares rushing to open doors for you and offering to hold your things, and complementing and hitting on you every chance they got
>Although you'd always just assumed that was because you were a known pornstar
>Now that you're thinking about it though, gender roles were literally reversed in Equestria
>Maybe that's why you were such a popular star back in your days
"Yeah, I kinda noticed."
>"Well, it's terrible and we're sick of it! We wanna be equals for once! We've proven we're capable of doing our own work, just look at Big Mac here!"
>"Eeyup."
>"All of us get shunted into stereotypical jobs like waiters and nurses, while the mares get all the important jobs that actually matter! Plus, the royalty here is controlled almost entirely by mares! Sure, there's princes, but how much do they actually do? Look at Blueblood, they put some pampered fool in a semi-high position just to make us believe we have representation!"
>The guy did have a point, Blueblood was a complete idiot after all.
>"And since the mares have all this authority, they're basically given free passes to practically rape us while they're in heat! Do you have any idea how many times a load of us have had to hide out in Big Mac's barn because of all the ravenous mares out hunting for horsecock?"
>You did notice that the mares of this world would periodically get extremely horny, more so than you'd expect
>"It doesn't help that we get handed off to marry whoever our mother thinks is best to solidify family ties.."
>Damn, this shit was basically like the middle ages of Earth
"Okay, I can see where you're coming from, because you're right, the position you're in is a bit ridiculous. But rioting? Really?"
>"Alright, we admit that things may have gotten a little out of hand, but you agree with us that this is deserved, right?"

>>29400106
Alright, since I'm basically only writing this for practice, I'll let you guys decide what Anon does. Do you want him to

A: Join the Vox Tauri and help 'em out
B: Screw the Vox Tauri and try to return to Flurry
C: Deathwish sort of option, screw both of them and run off somewhere with both the Vox and Flurry chasing after him
Or D: Insert option here

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>>29399945

>>29400121
A all the way I want to have Anon teaching ponies the ancient art of molotov cocktails

>>29400121
C. The Flurry situation is fucked, but Anon should know better than to join the horse-feminists.

>>29400121
http://pastebin.com/cRBn1ihu
^ pastebin for anyone who wants to read up before they choose new readers please excuse my shitty writing

>>29400121
C. cue the theme music*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

oh god

>>29400121
Don't have a fucking vote. You know these cucks will choose a or c. Just go with fucking b and write some porn or stop writing altogether.

>>29394875
You know?

I have to get a newer computer. I can run these things on my phone, and my computer is sixteen years old. Fuck.

>>29400121
b

>>29400121
just go with B.

>>29400033
Ah, this looks like it's one of your stories going on your Fimfic.

>>29400121
>voting
dont do that

>>29400301
What's wrong with having a vote?
>>29400269
I suck horsecock [pun intended] at writing clop. I'm bad enough at writing as it is without throwing porn into the mix

>>29400121
D: Have anon put his profession to use and screw all parties into peace.

>>29400121
D - Anon goes back with Flurry but uses his position of power and easily sways Flurry into slowly giving stallions more rights. Maybe he makes it a condition of him getting back with her or something.

>>29400319
take this to a quest thread or something if you're asking for votes

also, all these fucking twilight stories we might as well be the twilight general

115 posts about her last thread, 50+ this thread

>>29400121
C
I can't ee the vox hunting him down though. If he wants to go his own way, he can just tell them that forcing him to join them is just as bad as what the mares do, and that they're actively opressing Equestria's only human.
Then he can just fuck off to, I dunno, changeling lands to make more porn, or minotaur lands who he may feel more at home with.

>>29400467
This is the only time I'll ask for votes, this isn't a quest and I dont want it to be

>>29400121
A

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>>29400467
I agree, we need more Fluttershy.

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>>29400467
Is somebody grumpy?

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>Sometime after Anon has settled in RGREquestria, the ponies finally find a way to create a portal to earth.
>Unsure what to do with the first contact, Celestia and Luna pull Anon from his leisurely life as househusband and make him into the "Minister of Human Affairs"
>He's not too happy about being pulled away from his family and shoved into a position they just made up.
>So naturally, being spiteful and difficult is the route he takes.
>The meetings between him and earth's leaders churns up a shitstorm bigger than Trump being elected for a number of reasons. Like generally being an asshole and getting away with it.
>But the biggest reasons are his adamant refusal to take human refugees or allow immigration into Equestria.
>And since Equestria is already the sole superpower of Equis and not reliant on importing OR exporting, Anon can afford to wait for trade deals and treaties biased in his favor.
>But once people get a general idea of RGREquestria's wealth, magic, and utopian quality of life, millions are clamoring to get in overnight.
>Men want in for easy love.
>Women want in to finally experience a matriarchy.
>Poor want in for new lives and opportunities.
>Rich want in for business ventures and dreams of living like kings,
>Vermin want in to leech on the wealth and charity.
>Virtuous want in to have a home to be proud of.
>The word "No" has never triggered so many people so fast before.
>As he watches yet another riot (or "peaceful showing to protest the unfair Equestrian Minister" as the news calls it) from his earth office, he wishes he was at home cuddling his wife or playing with his kids.
>Maybe he should let a few hopeless cases in for shits and giggles?

>>29400319
You don't want a vote in thread because it eats up replies and sages the thread quicker.

Make a strawpoll.

>>29400622
I imagine a lot of mares would be clambering for an unending supply of males as well.

>>29400121
A, I want to see how this pans out

>>29400033
>>29400023
Super scientist, Super Twi.
Way better than that spider guy.
Experiments, dissects her friends.
Pokes inside with the greatest care.
Look out, here comes the science Twi.

>>29400121
D: Get Flurry in on this shit and try to unfuck the world together.

>>29400498
Asking for votes is bad practice.

>>29400369
I don't think someone who was forced into a shotgun wedding has a choice in politics.
>>29400121
C

>>29400753
>Be Lyra.
>You snuck into the portal!
>Finally unlimited human di-
>"Down with the matriarch!"
>What?
>"Down with the man!"
>Why?
>"Gib me free sheet!"
>You look around at the rioting crowd before turning around and going back.
>You are met with three royal gaurdsmare.
"H-Hey ladies."
>You say forcing a smile.
>"Now you see why we don't let them in?"
"What, you're not gonna arrest me?"
>"Why would we? Ponies can go to earth if they want to. Just most of us don't because of how much it sucks. Why you wanna go back?" She says raising her eyebrow.
"BUCK NO! I'm going back to Ponyville!"
>And so you did.