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RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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Thread replies: 511
Thread images: 104

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Eat A Snickers edition

Previous thread: >>29383720

>Where men are women, and women are slightly manlier women

Also known as "REEEEEEEEEEE and Wish Fulfilment general"

For those of you who are new to the thread, RGRE is an Equestria where sexism and stereotypical behaviour of men and women (often exaggerated for the sake of simplicity) are applied to the opposite gender. The type of sexism and gender roles can come from any time period (most popular are ~1950's and roughly modern-day) and can range from "Stallions belong in the kitchen when they aren't in the bedroom" to "Your mare-spreading is oppressing me". In this world, the mare asks the stallion out on a date and is expected to pay for the meal.

GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b1jASUKcbpyp6u1nk0d8m8m_toNwUGSlesl7F1IPa4o/

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives: http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
>>
>>29393444
Topkek, and checked.
>>
>>29393444
fuck you for making me want a snack.
>>
>>29393445
>Seashell is a forum moderator
>Keeps forgetting to sticky important threads and doesn't know how to use half the site features
Best mod
>>
>>29393458
Have a snickers anon.
>>
>>29393475
I WANT ONE DAMNIT, BUT I DONT HAVE ONE, REEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I am hungry though. I am off to acquire food.
>>
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We need more Seashell and her adorably dopey antics.
>>
>>29393482
Safe trip Anon, take the boat with you, it is our greatest friend.
>>
One of the captcha things for clicking all the storefronts had "BEEP" in big letters. I propose that Seashell makes a business as <cutie-mark related occupation> that has a big sign out front with "BOOP" on it.
>>
OK, not to rock the boat here, but what exactly constitutes an :"acceptable" story or premise? I've noticed that RGRE is so big now that it's starting to take premises and ideas from from other threads like EQG/Fingerbang or MMP. I think we need to set of guidelines here or something to keep people from REEEing every time somebody tries someting different
>>
>>29393471
Cute, not story worthy, but cute.
>>
>>29393507
Wait a second, I have the file with me.
>>
> Seashell has been through a lot of jobs because there is not a steady supply of work for demolitions
> Currently, she is the Ponyville boopsecutioner
> She's seen too many scrunches in her time, but crime never stops
> Drinks chocolate milk to forget at the local soda shop
>>
>>29393483
Airhead pone a cute.
>Seashell trips on her gold-painted hoofwear and faceplants the stool
A CUTE
>>
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>>29393507
A slice of sanity in this place of madness.
>>
>>29393507
I wanted to say something snarky and what would probably start a multi post bitchfest, but this is actually a pretty good idea. A guideline for avoiding upsetting certain readers.
>>
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>>29392573
>Rarity's biggest secret is her huge stash of dirty doujinshi and her personal grimoire full of self-invented lewd spells.
>Sadly, due to most stallions having delecate sensibilities regarding sex, she'll never get to live her dream of reenacting her favorite doujins and indulging a few of her fetishes.
>Until you come along, that is.
>>
>>29393542
This is a brilliant post.

>Fetishfags stop posting about wanting [le fetishe] if you receive overwhelmingly negative feedback
>Anons, if you see a writefag that goes against your sensibilities, feel free to hide and filter the writefag.
>Writefags die when they don't receive (You)s.
>If the writefag performs badly, ignores constructive criticism, inserts fetishes unwanted by the majority of the board, and is beginning to attract other fetishfags, run them off with a pitchfork.
>This way, the thread stays open to new content and we can all enjoy the thread.

can we all propose a truce and agree to follow the points mentioned in the pic?
>>
>>29393583
>Cuddling
>>
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>>29393542
Can't believe someone capped that.
>>
>>29393590
>>29393542
>>29393550
>>29393507
Your saying this like we don't do it already, did we have a smoke break while I wasn't looking?
>>
>>29393590
The only problem is that fourth line you quoted. There are stories all the time that aren't fetish fics but seem like it to some anons for using a barely related plot device, and people attempt to bully them off the thread for it.

It's not a bad post, but I have no faith in the community to be perceptive.
>>
>>29393603
Must've been a long break.
>>
>>29393507
>Can we have a code of conduct in this thread?
pls go.
>>
>>29393444
>"Spoonfeed me" summary
Great, we're one step closer to AiE now. Remember when we didn't have a synopsis solely for letting people figuring it out themselves?
>>
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Where is everybody?
Why is it so cold?
>>
>>29393621
We're became too big Anon, now we pay the price for our mortal insolence.
>>
>After a magical mishap that allows the two to communicate via a notebook, Twilight and Anon enter into a transdimensional long-distance relationship
>After months of purely textual contact, Twilight finally devises a way for Anon to come visit Equestria
>While making her preparations, she begins to worry that the reversed gender roles of Equestria may cause Anon some stress
>He already has to accept the existence of magic, talking ponies, and the infinite vastness of the multiverse, being wolf whistled at would be a bridge too far
>She proceeds to organize the town to fake 'normal' gender roles for the duration of Anon's visit, with predictably bad results
>>
>>29393507
Fuck no, we are doing just fine as is. Discord chat acting like a secret club not withstanding, but that could be said about any general with a discord. If we make a guideline then that just shows fetish/shitposters that they affected the thread in any way. Don't feed the shitposting, kill it, kill it with fire whenever it comes up, just like how we always do naturally. Making it official is just like painting a giant target on us.
>>
>>29393621
There's nothing wrong with helping to attract new readers by actually telling them what the thread is about. It also helps to clarify that reversed gender roles means "mares are sexist against stallions" instead of... you know..... The F word.
>>
>>29393643
>Discord chat acting like a secret club not withstanding
>>
>>29393660
You keep saying that, and I still haven't been proven wrong. Not to mention being completely right on the rest of the comment at that. But if you want to meme, go ahead.
>>
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Remember the last time a stallion took power?

Resist Prince Anonymous and the phallocentric tyranny!
>>
>>29393668
>I still haven't been proven wrong.
You made the claim, famalamadingdong, it's up to you to back it up not for us to prove you wrong.
>>
>>29393660
oy vey don't talk about my gated community like that, it keeps the value quality high!
>>
Do you want Equestria to look like this?

Vote for the Pony Front, and end the scourge of immigration!
>>
>>29393674
"Are you fucking-, oh my GOD, get the hell off my lawn! Stop eating my goddamn flowers! Can't a man have a few beers in peace?"
>>
>>29393683
Lack of writefags that went off to it posting here. That is proof enough, though I forgive you for not noticing what with the recent shitposting going on.
>>
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Remember when we were just a bunch of losers talking about magical ponies? Can we go back to that?
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>>29393689
I didn't know a different form of best pony could trigger me this much
>>
>>29393626
I'm waiting for a prompt because I'm an unimaginative asshole
>>
>>29393699
Maybe, its up to the ones starting shit today to fuck off/shut up...or we wait for a writefag to post something. Though we only have a few.
>>
>>29393699
>>/mlpg/
>>
>>29393704
Fair enough, what about weeb Rarity like this guy said.>>29393583
>>
>>29393507
holy shit I fucked that post up. I just can't english today sorry
>>
>>29393704
we should start a pastebin collecting story prompts anons suggest here, for writefags to browse when they're stuck in the writer's block.
>>
>>29393711
I'm 100% trash at fetish writing, I can do lewd but I can't write clop for shit
>>
>>29393711
How about sexually confused Rarity?
>>29392018
>>
>>29393722
Seconded.
>>
>>29393704
How about >>29393641?
>>
>>29393728
Its not a fetish, but if you cant write clop then that's okay then.
>>29393730
This could be fun.
>>
>>29393733
Here's a sort of prequel thing I wrote to try to get some attention to the idea last thread:
>>29388864
>>29388870
>>
>>29393641
I'm actually working on this. I got the idea that instead of Anon just finding the notebook both he and Twilight both come across the book when they're very young. Anon and Twilight write to each other regularly but as time goes on he starts writing to her less and less until he stops altogether. As he grows up he becomes convinced that there was no magic at all involved and he was just writing words to himself playing with an imaginary friend.
>>
>>29393792
oh shit, I started writing something but I like this more. Should I just stop now and wait for another prompt?
>>
>>29393792
That sounds like a really interesting angle.
>>
>>29393820
Keep this new prompt on the back burner, and finish the one your writing already, don't pull a Frosty and leave shit incomplete with no hope to end.
>>
>>29393792
Whatever you do, don't stop.
I want to see this.
So badly.
mfw had imaginary friend during childhood.
>>
>>29393641
I like this idea and I'd write green of this but I may only be able to start tomorrow or the weekend that is unless >>29393704 wants to then I'll let him since this'd only be my third green
>>
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>>29393792
That's kinda depressing.
>>
>>29393858
>>29393792
nevermind
>>
>>29393836
You mean the Flurry one? Was anyone even interested in that? Plus there were a lot of plot holes because I suck at this
>>
>>29393858
I'm pretty too new bro, I'll let you take this one because I suck
>>
>>29393863
I cant remember if you didn't even finish that Flurry story, I thought you were referring to something else, nevermind me then, go nuts mate.
>>
>>29393863
Was okay, had plotholes, cardboard characters but it was okay for a first work.
>>
>>29393861
Its an incomplete thought. I don't want it to be such a sad story. Like I said, I'm still working on it
>>
>>29393873
>>29393875
Yeah, the characters were cardboard as fuck, which is why I figured I'd start with a new prompt and a clean slate, but I guess I'll keep going with the Flurry story if there's a demand for it
>>
>>29393643
>>Discord chat acting like a secret club
>>kill it with fire whenever it comes up, just like how we always do naturally.
>get buttmad that writefags have a sekrit club (no girls allowed)
>immediately talk about gatekeeping the thread
this is why nobody values your opinion
>>
>>29393906
It's not unsalvageable, just progress more cautiously.
>>
>>29393871
>>29393906
Keep at it. Don't give up
>>
>>29393906
Practice makes perfect.
>>
>>29393916
There's a writers discord? How do I get in lmao
>>
>>29393851
> I had an imaginary doctor
> "My imaginary doctor says it's okay for me to have another bowl of ice cream."

> Anon is a spirit that got misfiled by the grim reaper
> He now wanders Equestria trying to find a way back to life, or maybe to the local heaven
> Only foals and the mentally unstable can see or hear him
> Little Twilight fulfills both conditions
> Anon encourages her to push the boundaries of science
> Learns magic theory along with her, but he doesn't have a good intuitive grasp of what it can actually do
> Part of why Twilight was so obsessed in "Feeling Pinkie Keen" was because Pinkie's metaphysical powers implied that there might be magics that could defy the current understanding, maybe even incarnate Anon
> Meanwhile, Anon stays the fuck away from Pinkie, she looks freaky from the astral plane
> As Twilight learns friendship lessons, Anon becomes fainter and fainter to her
> By the time she is princess, she has so many duties, she rarely dabbles in mad science anymore
> She did have that one imaginary friend that she made up, to comfort her when she was new and unsure in a new school, but she will never admit that she had an imaginary stallion
> Sometimes she guiltily shlicks to fantasies about him, feeling foalish and like she is defiling a pure part of her childhood
> Anon amuses himself by trying to match her pace with ghost dickings
>>
>>29393941
Step 1. Write green

Step 2. Get invited by the spook writefags that lurk the thread

Step 3. Never post green again
>>
>>29393941
The discord is a place for more advanced, steady writers.
Think of it as Writing 201/301.
Not much goes on in the discord chat, so if you're looking to pal around, so you're not missing out on much.
>>
>>29393961
>never post green again
I like the sound of this
time to get gud
>>
>>29393982
>get gud
Not gitting gudder.
Do you even Inglish
>>
>>29393941
No writefag that goes in comes back out. Don't ask to hurt the thread.
>>29393961
Accurate summation.
>>
>>29393689
How is she hotter than regular celestia?!!
>>
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>>29393883
>I don't want it to be such a sad story
A little feels never killed anyone.
That's probably not true, but still
>>
http://pastebin.com/cRBn1ihu
Pastebin for anybody who cares
I'll update soon
>>
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>"A colt like you shouldn't be alone in this time of the year..."
>The big mare gently pushes you down with her muzzle, and smooches her lips into yours
>"Mhmm..."
>Twilight's head tracks down, first breathing over your dick
>Her horse tongue sticks out, and she licks it up and into her mouth
>The princess' head bobs up and down with a firm sucking motion, as if she's grazing on your cock
>Judging from how you tense and throb, she senses an orgasm and casts a spell on your balls, which feels like a dull thud
>You cum into her mouth, but you cum a lot more than normal, with a huge load that's enough to inflate her cheeks before she swallows it down and repeats
>Your hips weakly thrust into her mouth while a kind of high takes you over
>Her gulps are in sync with your throbs, freely drinking your seed like a straw while you seemingly can't stop cumming, and oh god it feels amazing
>When you finally stop, she lets go with an "Aah!"
>"Thanks for the protein, Anon!"
>>
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Roboponies when?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnDZMg-DQbQ

You will see robowaifus in your lifetime.
With weapon attachments and predator modules.
>>
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>>29394120
>>
>>29394152
Christ I haven't seen that pic in years
>>
>>29394157
That kid's probably like 30 now.
>>
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>>29394139
neat
>>
>>29394084
>They took him!
>They took YOUR Anon!
>They burst right into your damn castle, and took him!
>You were supposed to be his mare!
>You were supposed to protect him!
>You won't stand for this
>You won't!
>You run back to the bedroom with the gaping hole in the wall
>Leaping right through the hole, your wings unfurl completely
>Ohh, you remember you weren't so good at flying
>But you had to rescue Anon!
>You could see the nasty stallion carrying him off in the distance
>Anon could see you too!
>He was waving at you!
>He knew his strong mare was about to save him from these evil stallions!
"Hold on, Anon! I'm coming!"

>What was that in the distance?
>Oh no.
>Was that Flurry?
>Eeyup.
>Shit, she's gonna get herself hurt trying to save you!
>You try and wave her off without attracting attention to her, but that just makes her go faster
>The crowds noticed her now, too.
>They're starting to throw everything they can grab at Flurry
>"DEATH TO THE MATRIARCHY!"
>Luckily their aim is piss-poor, but a few land their shots
>A pony can only take so many rocks and other shit to her underside though, and you notice she's beginning to falter
>But she's hot-headed and determined as always
"Flurry, I'll be fine! Don't hurt yourself over me!"
>"No, Anon, I'm coming to rescue you!"
>Damn, she doesn't give up!
>Wait, what was that rising up next to her?
>Oh shit.
>A team of unicorns was working to hoist a piano into the air
>And they were about to throw it at Flurry!
"Flurry! Look out!"
>"Huh? OOMPH!"
>The piano hit her right in the side, and she and the piano crashed downwards into a house.
"Aw, no!"
>A cheer erupted from the crowd below
>You really hoped she wasn't dead
>But then again, if she was then at least you wouldn't be stuck in a shotgun marriage
>Even if you did kinda enjoy it
>Out of nowhere, the stallion drops you into a break in the crowd
>"We're here! Oh, I dropped you, didn't I? Sorry, Anon. C'mon, we'll take you to the boss."
>Not like you had any choice.
>>
>>29393958
>Starlight becomes a student to Twilight
>Not knowing about friendship and still reeling from her previous actions have left her feeling alone and unstable
>Finds Anonymous walking the halls of the castle and goes to confront him
>She is amazed and slightly terrified to find out her magic has no effect on him
>She is even more surprised that he understands magic at it's most fundamental level
>They begin to bond to help Glimmer simmer down into her new life
>Being careless Glimmer speaks to Anon whenever and wherever
>Hearing Glimmer talking to Anon one day, Twilight begins to follow her and take notes
>Makes the connection that this Anon is her Anon and he was actually real all along but can only be perceived by a select few
>She is heartbroken that she ever doubted his existence and abandoned him similarly to how she did with her friends in Canterlot
>In an attempt to reconcile with one of her oldest friends and trusted advisers she attempts to tear open a path for Anon to come and meet the rest of the ponies of Equestria
>Luna and Celestia welcome their old friend into the world of the living
>>
>>29394464
>>"Huh? OOMPH!"
>>The piano hit her right in the side, and she and the piano crashed downwards into a house.
>"Aw, no!"
>>A cheer erupted from the crowd below
>>You really hoped she wasn't dead
>Assault on royalty is a very serious crime
>Anon has no choice but to identify the stallions involved
>The stallions are sentenced to a few decades in the dungeon
>>
>>29394510
>>Luna and Celestia welcome their old friend into the world of the living
i like thing
>>
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Like what is so bad about the discord? I have been lurking for a long time in many generals and a chat has aways helped. Like the flutterrape Skype group.
>>
>>29394662
It's just some autist bitching about it as he thinks it takes the writefags away from the threads.
>>
>>29394510
Make it happen.
>>
>>29394662
>>29394716
Because it does take away writefags, non come out except durnk, for obvious reasons. Fuck the damn chat and every parasite in it, the thread is better than that shithole any day....well this thread at any rate, don't know about that pit called flutterrape. But I will assume your lying or don't know any better. Though I am not interested in pointing out a problem like that from the rest of the hot mess, so you know, do you then.
>>
>>29394204
WTF is that thing ?
Genuinely interested.
>>
>>29394662
There are two sides to the argument.

Discord is Bad because of below speculations:-
-It takes away writerfags
-They post discord exclusive greentext and circlejerk in their seekrit kalb
-It will remove on topic discussion within thread.

Discord is not bad because of below facts:-
-Quality of green has risen since creation of discord chat. (Greens have less errors, Naysayers have to agree that LAP's work has gotten better)
-Writerfags post walls of text.
-AnalplugAnon is back despite his retirement.
-Writerfags are given incentive to stay because of emotional investment in the discord friendship.
>>
>>29394840
One of Boston Dynamics new Skynet additions.
>>
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>>29394464
I hate my life. My computer shut itself down to update as I was about to post my second part of the story for the night and it all got deleted. I'm kinda triggered, so I might just write in a doc or something and dump it tomorrow
>>
>>29394875
This is exactly why you don't write anything in 4chan's post window and save every other line or so in a document.
>>
>>29394875
Use Linux n00b
>>
>>29394510
I too show support for thing
>>
>>29394643
>>29394772
>>29395008
I will consider making this full green though I wonder where you guys want me to start
Twilight
or
Starlight
>>
>>29395093
Probably do a short prequel with twi or start with Starlight and have flashbacks/stories.
>>
>>29394775
>Because it does take away writefags, non come out except durnk, for obvious reasons. Fuck the damn chat and every parasite in it, the thread is better than that shithole any day....
Prove it, then, and don't just say, "Oh we haven't been getting green for a long time" because writefag activeness has always slumped from time to time.Stop assuming what's happening and actually record threads in months Discord chat was established to the same time periods pre-Discord. Make an effective argumeny by, y'know, using actual facts and research? You're not being persuasive at all by just saying, "there will be less people and I'm right."
>>
>>29395114
>tries to conflate writefags posting in the thread that don't use the chat with the pieces of shit that do
So, are you going figure out how dumb that sounds anytime soon? Because if you don't understand when I say it now then it would be a waste of time arguing with you. But fine then, bend over backwards for the nobodies in the chat that do nothing, I aint gonna break your fantasy for you.
>>
>>29394844
>>29395114
Don't argue with it, it's just going to keep claiming to have facts, never show them because it is "self evident", continue slinging ad hominems until somebody cracks and does the same, then the argument will devolve into REEEEEEs.
Just let the dog bark and ignore it.
>>
>>29395093
Maybe have a bit showing Anon coping with the first bits of being dead and ghosty, and figuring out what he will do, then jump to Twilight's early school years, then a bit showing twilight not hearing Anon anymore, then go glimmer for real.
As an aside, I wanted to make this reference:
> Be Anon, wandering shade
> You had hopes that you could find human civiliation, but no, just pony civiliation
> There better not be a half-buried Statue of Liberty somewhere
>>
>>29395134
Why are you acting all high and mighty when you just proved that you're arrogant to what others say?
>it would be a waste of time arguing with you
I see that it is, considering how every time a claim is brought up for the chat, your counterargument every time is just "Nope, I'm still right, and nothing will prove my opinion wrong."

P.S. Get a trip so we can start filtering you already
>>
>>29395181
I actually appreciate him you know. His terrible attitude and arrogance are driving so many people away that he's never going to find someone who will actually try and prove his claims right.
>>
>>29394875
And this is why you disable updates. This happened to me one time, and one time only. I played The Elder Scrolls IV for like, half of the day, then paused to eat. When I came back my laptop had rebooted because of updates, and I lost a fuckton of progress. Almost threw the damn thing out of the window.
That was 10 years ago. Fuck you, time.

Also, use notepad++ to write. It automatically saves things.
>>
>>29395420
>When I came back my laptop had rebooted because of updates
This really wrinkles my sprinkles. I feel your pain.
>>
>>29395181
>P.S. Get a trip so we can start filtering you already
What a beautiful dream that would be.
>>
>>29393699
MAKE /MLP/ GREAT AGAIN!!!

he's got dubs we have to.
>>
>>29393722
I would love for this to happen but I sure as hell ain't gonna be the one to do it.

>>29393792
I came to this thread to fulfill my wishes, not feel. So hopefully this is the backstory to "Anon discovers his imaginary friend was real"

>>29393820
Two greens having similar premises has never stopped us from enjoying them before.
>>
>>29393958
There was a really similar prompt to this where Anon made it only part way to Equestria, and ended up tumbling between pony dreams.
Luna discovers him, gets to know him and starts liking him. She has trouble convincing the other princesses that her dream boyfriend is real.


>>29394510
Motherfuckin thumbs up

>>29395093
At least do a bit with Twilight so her emotional attachment doesn't come out of nowhere.
>>
>>29394510
I like this idea, we need more of it.
>>
>>29395158
This is a good idea. Make it start with his arrival to pone-land, then have his important interactions before jumping to modern day. So if you went with the 'he was friends with Celestia and Luna when they were young' route, you'd probably want to show their first meeting as well as a bunch of their important memories together before moving to the next person he befriended. Maybe Celestia couldn't see him, but Luna could at some point? How would that affect her fall into being NMM? Could Celestia see him again afterwards because of how emotionally shattered she was? Stuff like that.
>>
>>29395707
> Could Celestia see him again afterwards because of how emotionally shattered she was?
Oh no
Anon helps the ponies who see him until they can't. He is the instrument of his own isolation. That is simultaneously great and terrible.
>>
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>>29394875
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxXs0Yy5-0Y&
>>
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>>29395598
>>29393641
Mashing these together.

>Every night for years, Anon dreams of an odd blue equine on the moon.
>She seems so real and lonely in the dream, so he feels the need to interact with her.
>And each time he returns, she's lonely and longing for company once more.
>One night at a time, he learns the story of Luna the alicorn and her backwards home, Equestria.
>Slowly, he begins to doubt these are even dreams.
>But what could be going on? Is Luna real? Or not?
>Regardless, he finds his heart yearning for the strange alien pony he meets each night.
>Just the thought of her boldly proclaiming that she would "be his knight most chivalrous" makes him smile.
>But after nearly 3 years, the dreams stop, leaving the human heart broken.
>Until his alien pony decides he should be at her side in person, that is.

>On the other side, Princess Luna struggles to keep sane with her 1000 years of isolation.
>Each day is a hard-fought battle to not submit to the madness gnawing on the edge of her mind.
>But one year in, she does something unexpected.
>Sleep takes her, and she dreams.
>And in her dream, is a strange bipedal male. One who doesn't fear. her.
>In-fact, he APPROACHES her, an unsure offer of friendship ready.
>It's all too good to be true. She found an escape.
>But as quick as it happens, the dream ends with him promising to come back.
>And so she waited.
>And wait for a whole year she did, until the next dream came.
>Each year, he came back, giving Luna the motivation to keep going.
>For 1000 years she lives like this. Learning more about her visitor and letting the precious memories hold her over. All the way to her freedom.
>But now free and at full power, the Princess will not be denied her most beloved companion any longer. The chivalrous princess NEEDS her sweet human.
>There's some time and space that needs broken...
>>
>>29395707
Personally, I'd like that he knew Celestia and Luna in life to be a surprise. Foreshadowed, perhaps, but a big reveal.
>>
>>29395824
BEST AT HUGS
hnnnnnnng
>>
>>29395824
>3 years
>1000 years
man im confused
>>
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>>29395824
I have never wanted something so badly in my entire life.
>>
>>29395849
Anon dreams each night for 1000 days.
Luna only dreams once a year for 1000 years.
>>
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>>29395824
This sounds like it could be a cute story.
>>
>>29395849
1 dream for Anon = 1 yearly visit
3 years = 1095 days; 1095 sleeps; 1095 yearly visits
>>
>>29395814
only the evil dead can know peace THIS. IS. MY BOOMSTICK
>>
>>29395855
>>29395866
1000 days = 2.74 years
>>
>>29395877
Are you legitimately bewildered that the story telling Anon felt that rounding 95 days off was fine for the purpose of story telling, or are you being ridiculous on purpose?
>>
>>29395895
I was just pointing out the math in the
>nearly 3 years
part.
>>
>>29395855
>>29395866
ah
i see then
so the story is going with time in equestria passing significantly faster
>>
>>29395986
... slower...
>>
>>29395910
Whoops. Sorry. I see that now.
>>
>>29396045
yes thats what i said
>>
>>29395910
So, >autism?
>>
Fucking...

Time works differently in Equestria. It shouldn't take 8 posts to iron out all the details.
>>
>>29396076
How differently?
>>
>>29396080
many differently.
>>
>>29396080
Narnia differently.
>>
>>29396076
Not so fast!
It may only be significantly different when dealing with the magical dream nexus by which Anon and Luna were interacting.
>>
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>>29396131
>>
>Anon is a stripper
>Comes out of giant birthday cakes and gives the lucky mare a lapdance
>Sometimes the mares get drunk and ramble to him about how it's not right that he has to strip for a living and how they're going to "save" him
>Anon never hears from them again
Such is life for Anon the stripper.
>>
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>>29395824
Goddamn... I have so many writing projects already... screw you guys for coming up with cool stuff.
>>
>>29396484
WRITE FASTER
>>
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>>29396273
>Pinkie hires him for Cadence's bachelorette party
>this happens after the changeling fiasco but wasn't shown in the show for obvious reasons
>all of the M6 get drunk and promise to herd up and save Anon
>he dismisses it like always
>in the morning he extricates himself from the pile of mares sleeping around him
>goes back to ponyville
>hfw they all show up at his house within a week
>they were all serious
>somehow wrangled [author's waifus] into it as well
>or maybe all the pie siblings, or Lyra/Bon Bon, or princesses minus cadence, or whatever you prefer
>>
>>29396497
>>29396484
* Whip Crack *
>>
>>29396484
Move it writefag and the honor could be yours.
>>
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>>29396500
Yeah, I'd read that. And then there were none.
>>
>>29394875
I look forward to it.

>>29395824
Keep going, I like this.

>>29393958
>>29394510
I want to read more of this.

>>29394120
I don't understand.
>>
>>29393507
>I think we need to set of guidelines here or something to keep people from REEEing every time somebody tries someting different
>creating a safe place so people won't be triggered

This irony always depresses me.
>>
What does it matter if people get triggered? It's not like the dude who REEEEEs about the fetish of the week is physically stopping anybody from writing. Like, if somebody doesn't like what you write, what's the worst they can do? Watch for whenever you post an update and say that they don't like it? It sucks when people act that way, and I have honest sympathy for the people who get angry over that behaviour, but it isn't like they can actually DO anything.
>>
>>29396662
>I don't understand.

Twilight drank Anon's cum to get some needed protein and other nutrients.
>>
Goodnight, RGRE. I still believe in you.
>>
>>29395824
>Love for Luna
Yeeeeeeessssss
>>
would it be inappropriate to write another green based on Anon being ugly as sin to ponies while another one is still in the works? and may never be finished?
>>
>>29397348
Go ahead, the one being written doesn't have anon being ugly as sin itself, just normal ugly.
>>
>>29393626
>/^HerdAnon$/
well... Fuck...
>>
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>>29393583
Found a thing just now.
>>
>>29397381
pretty sure that's every single active writefag with a trip that's posted in the last month. don't worry about downboats, herdanon, this isn't plebbit.
>>
>>29397381
I'm the Anon that posted that.
It's just a joke.
My filter list is blank.
>>
>>29396794
It usually turns the whole thread into a shitposting shitstorm for a day or rarely several entire threads in a row, it's just an annoying pain in the ass overall.

But you're right, they can't actually force the writers to stop. But then, those of us who want to just post and read about cute poners can't force the REEEEE-ers to shut up about it either.

Just have to wait for one side to give up and stop, and unfortunately, it's usually the writers who stop.

Though on the rare occasions where the Writers win, then sometimes new subjects become acceptable or even standard fare in the thread.

Like RGREqG stuff for example. That used to never show up, and there was a lot of complaining about it when it did start getting posted. But then we got some actually good prompts and stories about it.

Despite the naysayers and prophets of doom, the thread didn't turn into nothing but EqG, it shows up somewhat frequently (more so when LaP is posting a story about it), but regular ponies is still far more common. >No Hooves is just another RGR flavor now.

Which I think is a good thing. The thread being able to evolve and incorporate new ideas is one of the things keeping it from stagnating into a circlejerk about the exact same shit rehashed the exact same way 9001 times until everyone loses interest and the thread dies.

That doesn't mean we have to accept shit, both figurative and literal, but pushing the boundaries is required to keep giving the thread those injections of life.
>>
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>>29397419
I'm the real Herd and I know that, if you were serious you wouldn't be able to read shit seeing as you have Anon there too.>>29397381 is just my... Well really I don't know what the fuck his deal is to be honest. Just so people know if you see no trip it's not me it's fake, I have my trip saved.
>>
>>29397348
We've never had a problem with two greens with similar premises at the same time before.
Plus, uglynon in RGRE is a pretty broad idea.

>>29393626
>>29397419
Fucking anonymouses, they ruined anonymity.
>>
>>29397570
Fuck you, I'm HerdAnon!
>>
>>29397575
Is it anonymouses? or Anonymousi?
>>
>HerdAnon
>Anon in Herdquestria
>A human in a world of magical talking herds of magical ponies
>Instead of each pony having a mind, there are a group of different pony bodies that are collectively one mind per group.
>Each group would typically all have the same colouration shared between constituent bodies
>For example, Big Mac would be a herd of maybe six large red stallions who works several fields at a time when he's farming.
>The number of pony bodies in a herd varies, but having less than four is extremely rare.
>Typically anything less than that would be the result of some recent accident that killed most of a herd's bodies.
>They see a mind only having one body as extremely unusual.
>These herds may be more protective of such a being.
>Unlike the herds who can live through even several ponies within then dying and recover, a human would be actually dead for full on reals.
>>
>>29397588
>Ponies are mini hive minds
>Ponies are all actually extremely small Changeling Hives in disguise
>Chrysalis hasn't figured this out
>>
>>29397588
Aah Durnk, don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
>>
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>>29394120
>>
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>>29395824
I-I'm a horse
>>
>>29397619
>"Your volume is considerably smaller than last time, Anon. Have you been eating and drinking enough? I made you a list and everything."
"Haaah, wurrgbl..."
>"You really should stick to it. How else am I going to share this with my friends? They'd be so disappointed if they each didn't get their own helping."
>>
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>>29396484
Drop all inferior projects. Write the moon booty
>>
Random thought, Canterlot is either the best place to put a city, or the worst place.
It only has one method of entry for non fliers.

That and Rainbitch Cunt is topcunt.
>>
>>29397584
In Latin it'd be "anonymi". Hard to recognize, so I think the English generic plural is better.
>>
>>29397707
It's a shit place to put a city. But an amazing location to put a fortress. The place is borderline unassailable through conventional means. Without collapsing the whole mountain, the only way to the ramparts is through a thin mountainous passage. And good luck setting up a siege equipment outside the walls too - no way you are going to bombard it uphill like that.
>>
>>29397741
Really speaks of the bloody history of the three tribes doesn't it?
Methinks it was originally built by the unicorns to prevent earth pony sieges.
Pegasi are easy to deal with once they lose aerial superiority, compared to raising an lowering the sun and moon, what's a little firestorm?
That's how the unicorns are the de-facto royalty while the pegasi have a "General".
Puddinghead is nothing more than an uneducated earthpony trying to be nobility.
A beggar in a prince's clothes so to speak.
>>
>>29397640
I'm currently writing an UglyAnon/Luna fic, but I'm still working through writing the portion of the story establishing Anon's status in equestria as the world's ugliest (and therefore, invisible) stallion. it might be a day or two, though. I've already written a few hundred lines, but I don't want to publish it until it gets to the RGRE parts (which will be hard, since no pony would really be jumping at the chance to get into a relationship with Uggo McFugly)
>>
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>>29397774
There is a reason why the original capital of Equestria was built in the Everfree instead of just adopting one of the existing cities. By creating a focal point of a kingdom so close to Canterlot, the sisters would undermine the value of castle that had to be a splinter in the side of earth ponies and pegasi for decades. A symbolic move that wanted to topple the self-appointed nobility of unicorns.

I may or may not have an extensive and autistic headcanon about Equestrian history.
>>
>>29397816
don't worry about sperging out about worldbuilding or writing a history that fits the show and makes sense. this autismofeat goes a long way in laying the groundwork for other stories, since they don't have to do the heavy lifting of creating a working timeline.
>>
>>29397419
I figured this was the case last thread and it gave me a chuckle.

Even if it were real, I've never been upset or offended when someone says they filter me. It's a convenience for the writer if people who aren't willing to give their content a chance just move on, rather than complain that it exists.
>>
>>29397820
>a history that fits the show
Well, I'm not sure how two holy orders fit in that. Then again, I accept the fact that it's not canon, but just my idea of how things could've been.
>>
>>29397816
>>29397816
Nice, may I use this?
You're looking at the guy who's watched Hearth's Warming Eve twenty times more times than normally recommended, trying to fleshing out an extensive and autistic world for Docnon. So rest assured that you are not autismo.
>>
>>29397816
>>29397857
if another story is written or you write out a reference sheet proposing a pony history, I'm going to use ideas from both for my next story either way
>>
>>29397619
fuck me, this gif gave me a bigger boner than I thought it would
>>
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>>29397879
>>
>>29397888
kek bless you my friend for this bounty of boner and trips
>>
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>>29397857
Sure.
I tend to find that Windigos' story meshes poorly with the rest of lore. If you try to take it literally, then you have a few massive gaps, like just how much time passed between the founding of Equestria and Discord's appearence, or how comes unicorns stopped being snobby despite still raising the sun (until Discord came about). If take it as apocryphal though, then you can either explain it by a climate change (small ice age) that caused ponies to migrate south, or just downright connect Windigos and Discord - both of them are related to chaos. It's not hard to see how over time the stories of divide and infighting could evolve to that legend, and it could have meant that "when we were not working together, Discord was ruining everything."
Bonus points for Earth Ponies/Pegasi asking Discord to take over the sun control, thus inviting a fox into a henhouse.
>>
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>Twilight drinks Anon's cum daily and magically increases his production to the point where she practically farms him for it
>Markets it as a superdrink great for mares trying to stay in shape
>Gyms are packed full of mares taking sips of GrApeSeed™ in between squats
>Thin, athletic stallions go for jogs in the park with bottles of the stuff in tiny feedbags
>>
>>29397640
>"Anonymous, you really ought to be more careful. Why, some mare could catch you alone and take you against your will!"
>You've had enough of this 'poor little stallion' bullshit
>You lean your head back and smirk, resting one hand on your hip and use the other to point a lone finger at the princess of the night
"I can take any pony on the planet, Princess, even you."
>"Is that a challenge, my LITTLE human?"
"Don't think your lithe figure and feminine wiles will make me hold back. U wanna go, m8?"
>Luna sputters for a moment, blushing up a storm and unable to counter verbally
>You take the advantage and pull your shirt off over your head
>Taking care to avoid knocking your sunglasses off
"I don't care how much you've toned that plot of yours, those elegant curves got nothin on dis bulk! IT'S GO TIME!"
>She finally recovers and smirks at you, narrowing her eyes
>That's a bit too wide a smirk though
>Maybe you're biting off more than you can chew
>"Challenge accepted, Anonymous. I think you'll find our techniques quite...tiresome. Could a naked ape like you earn our cries for mercy?"
>Fuck it, it's go time.
"That'll be hard to do when your twinkling mane is pressed against the floor, Princess. We didn't evolve from apes..."
>You twist at the waist and flex both your arms and your back
"...we evolved INTO APES!"
>She shudders and licks her lips for a moment
>Her horn lights up and you jump back, hopping from foot to foot and bringing your fists up in a boxing stance.
>Every door and window in the room suddenly slams shut.
>She stands and lowers her font half into a fighting stance, licking her lips.
>"Show me your moves, Anon, show me all of them..."
>>
>>29397893
or, since the windigo's snouts are similar to Discord's, they, in desperation, used the life forces of their victims to merge into a form able to follow them wherever the ponies went, with enough power to overcome them all.
>>
>>29397893
If you take a look at the behavior of the leaders, you can also argue that was when it all began.
Fighting over a rock?
Calling each other names like children?
Not sane behavior.

>>29397910
I need an adult.
>>
>>29397774
The unicorn's original capital city, before migrating away from the Wendigoes was also portrayed as built on a mountain side. I tend to think Canterlot was intended to be the capital of Unicornia. (It's clearly a unicorn city, the mountain location, like the unicorn's original, the fact that magic is used to turn the seasons, and honestly just the number of them shown there; also the nearby range is called The Unicorn Mountains on maps.)

Personally, I think the mountain locations have more to do with gem mines and celestial observation than defensability (they're unicorns, their sheer arrogance demands that magic is the answer to beating attacks) but that's just me.

>>29397816
>I may or may not have an extensive and autistic headcanon about Equestrian history.
Son. Let me tell you about Equestrian History.
The castle of the two sisters was built over the Tree of Harmony, probably after and in honor of the defeat of Discord. (If it was built before, I imagine the sister felt EXTREMELY SILLY for missing the elements that were in their basement)

(And, unlike Tirek, who is is left a little vague, Discord explicitly attacked after the formation of Equestria.)

HOWEVER! There are options:
1: It's actually possible that Celestia and Luna weren't made rulers of Equestria until after beating Discord. (Though I think they were ascended from ponies involved in the unification; another is that they were tapped immediately for ruling post-unification, as ideal neutral parties.)

2: the Tree of Harmony was involved in the Anti-Wendigo spell, that cave it's in is the one the tribes sheltered in when they discovered that the Wendigoes had followed them to Unicornia/Pegasopolis/Earth. (This one requires Celestia and Luna come in later.)
>>
>>29397914
>>29397917
DYEWTS?

pretty sure the everfree was explained
pretty sure a lot of what you're discussing has been in the show
>>
>>29397893
I don't really see the problem.
Even if you don't assume that Celestia and Luna ruled Equestria approximately from its founding, there are plenty of reasons for the unicorns to stop being annoying. That's basically what the unification was about.

I don't think there's anything I've seen so far that places any time limits, upper or lower, on when Discord took over Equestria, other than it happened before Luna's rebellion.
We know Discord probably met Tirek, who entered the region probably before but at least around Unification (because Starswirl was young when Tirek and Scorpan came).
>>
>>29397932
Not after season 3, no.
Didn't have the time for it.
And I heard the later seasons were bad fanfiction.
Can you point me to a canon explanation?
>>
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>>29397935
Having that puts an uncomfortably short amount of time between the founding of Equestria (which has nothing to do with Luna and Celestia) and defeat of Discord. It all happened in the lifespan of Starswirl, as his apprentice was present in the Hearths Warming, and he helped the sisters found their castle. You would either have him go forth and travel through time, a really short period of Discord's reign, or Discord and Windigos being parallel.
>>
>>29397943
been a while, but iirc the everfree was made because discord was spitting out seeds and those seeds made the forest and they were trying to burrow and reach the tree of harmony
>>
>>29397930
celestia and luna were made the rulers of equestria after the ponies discovered they could move the sun and moon without losing their magic

before 30 unicorns had to sacrifice their magic to move the sun and moon each day
>>
>>29397932
The show is just a suggestion.

>Be Anon in EVILquestria
>You were summoned here by the EVIL Princess Twilight Sparkle using dark magics.
>She did this because she is EVIL.
>Also because she is EVIL she locked you in one of the towers in her EVIL castle.
>Her EVIL minion Spike sometimes hangs out with you because he's kind of a slacker in the EVIL department.
>Several other departments too.
>But you overlook this because you are polite and he's more tolerable then the rest of the people around here.
>Who are pretty much exclusively EVIL and generally also magical ponies of some kind.
>Every day your EVIL captor Twilight comes up to your room at the top of the tower to make you read her EVIL fanfiction.
>From reading it you have gotten the impression that she's attracted to you.
>All the scenes where the EVIL villain falls in love with the prince she kidnapped.
>And the ones where they then have sex with the EVIL villain's EVIL mentor.
>You try not to let on that you've figured this out.
>You don't feel that way about her.
>You're too much of a faggot.
>You're not fucking a GIRL horse.
>Also being EVIL is kind of very annoying.
>All the EVIL laughter and EVIL plans and locking you in a tower and burning ponies alive and making you burn ponies alive with her and the then making you clean up the mess that doing that makes.
>You do not like those things.
>You dislike those things along with many of the other EVIL things she does.
>Feels bad man.
>>
>>29397930
the tree of harmony was found by the princesses and they took the elements to beat discord and then they built the castle

also luna and celestia were alicorns way before they were made rulers
>>
>>29397910
>Celestia is awoken in the middle of the night to find the castle shaking amid the sound of broken glass

>She finds a bunch of staff and guards peeking through a doorway trying to watch what's going on inside
>The door had been reduced to splinters

>"Dost thou surrender fair Anonymous?!" Her sister bellowed with a giggle

>Celestia finally gets to see what's going on inside
>A window was broken.
>A few of the floor tiles were cracked
>It looked like a tornado had gone through the room

>And off to the side, Luna is attempting to pin a shirtless Anonymous to the floor
>His pants are threatening to fall off of him if they rip any further
>Somehow his sunglasses remain fixed to his face
>"You haven't won yet Moonbutt!" He responded with a manic grin on his face
>>
>>29397943
The later seasons being bad fanfiction is a meme

Watch the damn show
>>
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>>29397967
>The later seasons being bad fanfiction is a meme
*cough*
>>
>>29397950
I dunno, maybe it could be like the three days of ultron. But instead of ultron, it was the long weekend of Discord.

>>29397951
You would remember right, but the discussion is about the when of discord, not what he did.

>>29397967
I don't have the damn time.
But I damn well will when I have the damn chance.

>>29397969
Damn it Anon, I have a sore throat and that title made it worse.

Don't read these in the wrong tone please.
>>
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>>29397971
>I have a sore throat
>>
>>29397969
I will never not love the expression of that changeling to the right
>>
>>29397951
No, the Everfree is as old as the Tree of Harmony, the seeds he spat out were the Plundervine seeds, just one kind of plant.

>>29397950
I don't remember the thing about Starswirl helping them create their castle. Was it something in Cutie Re-Mark I missed?
Even assuming that, there are several potential answers:
>travel through time
The time magic wing of the Canterlot library is named after him. So....

We have no idea how long Starswirl lived. And if you take canon literally, Granny Smith is "hundreds of years" old (and she has older relatives that are still alive too).

Finally, it actually makes perfect and hilarious sense for Discord to attack Equestria almost immediately after it was founded. "What's that Harmony? Can't be having that now."
And I've always assumed that Discord's original reign over Equestria was only marginally longer in real time than it was in Return of Harmony. Just because that's how the show goes.
>>
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>>29397917
>"I am a adult Anon. "
>>
>>29397992
>I don't remember the thing about Starswirl helping them create their castle
It was in the Journal of the Two Sisters, the only thing outside of show that I consider canon.
>>
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>>29397996
>a adult
Uh huh. Who is your fillysitter and why did she let you out of the house?
>>
>>29397966
Go for the ponut you green son of a bitch!
>>
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>>29397998
What hold on... Oh god dam it!
>>
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>>29397910
>U wanna go, m8?
>>
>>29397997
I just looked it up on the wiki.
I may have to check that out, but the wiki summary has them finding the Tree of Harmony shortly after Unification. This means either Discord attacked immediately, or his attack somehow separated the sisters from the tree, requiring an arduous journey to get back to it.
>>
>>29397961
Completely alternate universes are fun.

It is also a very fun game (at least for people with brains like mine) to see how close to canon we can make a story while still leaving room for invention.

>>29397966
This reminds me of one of the best scenes in Daring Douche.
http://pastebin.com/Tij1KxtS

Though that reminds me. Somebody (less lazy than I) needs to inform the fandom that tomato FRUITs are as fine for horses to eat as for humans. It's tomato plants that are poisonous. Which they also are to humans.
>>
>>29398015
To be specific, plants of the nightshade family, potatoes too are poisonous to people and horses.
>>
>>29398032
Yeah. In fact, I've heard that tomato fruit were assumed to be poisonous (to humans) in some places and times because of the poisonous-ness of the plant.
>>
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what kinds of insults do ponies have for stallions that are easy, or sleep around a lot? wander-cock? mal-fatale?
>>
>>29397588
thats actually kind of amusing to think about, not for a full on LaP size green, but for a one shot of everyone pitying him because he's solo
>>
>>29398053
I love wander-cock.

Easy, slut, and any version of whor(s)e are applicable classics.

I wonder if we could find a way to express that they come out of their sheath too easy; like "loose".

Ready-dick? Maybe just "ready".
>>
>>29398053
Whorse
>>
>>29397588
I'm not gonna lie. I read a science fiction story about something similar (no horses) as a kid and it's sort of been my dream ever since.

Clone-bodies with shared minds.
>>
>>29397932
The entire show after Faust left is full of inconsistencies, plot holes, chronological fuckups, shark jumps, anachronisms, out of place set pieces, and so on. Send everything after S2 to the bin, and suddenly the setting makes considerably more internal sense. It's fine to pick and choose a few things from the later seasons like some of the popular additional ponies that showed up, but beyond that you should treat the later seasons as (Past Sins-tier)fanfiction.
>>
>>29398083
"Slider"
"Easy hanger"
"Slip dick"

Or maybe "Quick Dropper"

Though i doubt that mos mares mind it when they let it hang around them.
They like the attention too, even if it hurts their mareliness to admit it.
>>
>>29398053
Mudtip (Implying dick is always out of the sheath, dragging precum on the ground)

The village saddle (everypony gets to have him on their back)

Stray Plow
Seed Breeze
Dandelion
Rump pump
>>
>>29398222
Mudtip kinda implies coltcuddling tendencies.
>>
>>29398222
So I herd u liek mudtips.
>>
>>29398270
Or their version of a buttslut who will do anal for any mare who asks.
>>
>>29397910
>>Taking care to avoid knocking your sunglasses off
I don't know why but this got me.
>>
>>29397383
Want context for that pic
>>
>>29398850
dumb bitch pissed the bed
>>
>>29397557
So, then the trick is to just ignore the fuckwits who REEEEE about anything and everything. Why does anybody care about their opinion when all they do is spew doom and gloom? Who cares if some unreasonable asshole doesn't like Thing? Good for him I guess, right? It's like, "oh no, the crazy guy from the third floor who constantly shouts racial slurs, phones people up late at night and breathes heavily into the receiver, and pisses into jars and keeps them on his shelf doesn't like the way I park my car. I guess I better stop driving forever." You don't have to give up because some obsessive naysayer thinks your little bit of fucking My Little Pony fanfiction is going to herald in the End of Times.
>>
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>>29397638
>>
>>29397893
I love Luna's outfit. She's wearing her butt everywhere. It isn't even her cutie mark; just the butt splotches.
>>
>>29395110
>>29395158
>>29395598
>>29396662
so here's what I was thinking, start off with Anon right as Twilight is beginning her training with Celestia, the main chunk of it will be after the Nightmare Moon incident obviously but I was also thinking of Anon being around nagging Twilight in some of the scenarios seen in the show, with other shenanigans and adventures and maybe popping in to see some of the other characters from time to time
Then moving on to Starlight where the second big bulk of the story would be with a lot more nu stuff
Then flashbacks here and there about Anon's life before Twilight
That's the basic groundwork I've got going though I will state that I might not be able to implement a lot of RGRE elements into the story since it's an imaginary friend and all
Any thoughts or suggestions would be really useful
>>
>>29397969
Fuck, why does the green chest/torso part look like it's Mountain Dew with bubbles in it? And is that a sheath I see poking out?
>>
>>29397976
The fuck is even with that colour scheme? Who designed this character? Who APPROVED it!?
>>
>>29398002
>"Come on down to the Bar-B-Queer!"
>"..."
>"Aw, shit!"
>>
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>>29398222
>The village saddle (everypony gets to have him on their back)
>>
>>29397588
>Anon builds up a herd.
>Has only seen herd ponies one at a time.
>What he thought was six ponies, Twilight, Fluttershy, etc, are actually 36.
>Gets pounced by them all in a loving embrace after coming home one day.
>>
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>>29393674

>Anon marries Twilight, becoming a Prince
>Twilight decides to leave Anon in charge of Ponyville while she's off doing important Princess stuff in another country
>her reaction when she comes back home and everything's on fire
>>
>>29398956
Sounds good. You might have subtleish RGRE elements, like how the other mares treat Twilight's reclusiveness, or learning a certain spell to impress a stallion. Also, as Twilight matures, she will be looking at Anon with increasingly lewdness, staring at his crotch, looking for testicle bra-lines, etc.
>>
>>29394033

It's dat zigger booty.
>>
>>29399113
>tfw you will never be under a giant pile of loving mares.
>>
>>29399156
It hurts.
>>
>>29399155
>Ziglestia's ass isn't fat and visibly sagging
Immersion is ruined. The suspension of disbelief is just gone.
>>
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>>29397961
EEEEVIIIIIL!
>>
>>29399240

Give me a break Anon.

Surprisingly there are no pictures of fat ass zebra Celestia.
>>
>>29398208
>They like the attention too, even if it hurts their mareliness to admit it.
It's just like bros on this side.
Fuck em because they're easy, call them names to retain pride.

>>29398222
>Dandelion
CAUSE THEY BLOW THEIR SEED ALL OVER

I have a feeling village saddle's gonna become a staple, it's good.
>>
Wheres the anon that started the anon cant into pone age with the emo teen last thread?
>i want more
>>
>>29399581
THIS!
>>
>>29399581
ded
>>
slaanesh
>>
>>29399680
this is some seriously low effort shitposting
>>
So, a bit off topic, I have one slot left for dbx2 and I wandering what character I should make.

I already made a trixie and a sunset.

What do?
>>
>>29395420
I'll take your word for it and use Notepad++, thanks
>>
>>29395814
I can relate to this video on a spiritual level
>>
>>29399147
IT'S NOT MY FAULT

THAT DRAGON WAS GIVING ME THE EYES, TWILIGHT

THE EYES

YOU KNOW I CAN'T RESIST THE EYES
>>
>>29399832
First disable automatic updates, just to be sure. But yeah, notepad++ is pretty good, you can even customize it to have greentext. Mine has the same font and colors of the Tomorrow theme.
>>
>>29399712
Developing brain homeobox?

Maud Pie.
>>
>>29399712
I think you've transcended autism at this point.
>>
>>29399556
>>Dandelion
>CAUSE THEY BLOW THEIR SEED ALL OVER
FUCK
That's clever.
>>
Hey, I got that new thing I promised
>>
>>29399945
OH SHIT NIGGA! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!
>>
>>29399945

>“Anon! I need some blood!”

>Anonymous the human, also known as Anon by his friends and “that weird tall colt with the weird wigglers” to almost everyone else, looked up from his three-week-old Gabby Gums article. Standing in front of him, with an eager smile on her face, was his boss, the part-time princess and professional mad scientist Twilight Sparkle.

>The young princess looked as pristine as she did every morning. Her mane and tail had been fixed in such a way they gleamed in the sunlight, and her fur was trimmed and neat. There was also a bright, cheery smile on her face and a pleasant warmth in her lavender eyes. The mare before him didn’t look like a pony that would go asking people for blood. But he knew better. Oh, he knew better.

>Yawning, Anon reached over and grabbed his coffee cup, taking a sip of its contents while he thought over what she had just said.

>The rookie mistake would be to ask her [i]why[/i] she needed the blood, but he was no rookie. Whenever maniacal laughter echoed throughout the house, the hair on the back of his neck would stand on end. If the word “Science!” was screamed, he knew to immediately duck for cover. The very sight of beakers and glass vials gave him flashbacks of events that would turn the stomach of even the most grizzled Solar Guard.

>In the two months that he had been working with Twilight “the dork” Sparkle, he had become an old hand where her nonsense was concerned. He knew not to ask why she need blood because he knew that her answer would only leave him with more questions and a headache. So, setting down his newspaper and leaning back into his chair, he tried a different approach.

“What kind of blood do you need?” he asked matter-of-factly.

>“Oh, any kind of blood would do,” the princess chirped, walking over to the table that he was sitting at and hopping up into an empty chair.
>>
>>29399953

>As she settled herself, the tip of her horn glowed. Across the kitchen, the half-full coffee pot was encased in a purple glow along with a ‘Number 1 Princess’ mug. With a flick of her horn, both objects were floated over. Anon, eyeing the coffee pot, slide his own mug over and gave it a little shake.

“And how much blood do you need, boss?” he asked as she refilled his mug while also helping herself to come coffee.

>“Ideally I’d need ten gallons, but I’d appreciate whatever amount you could get me, Anon,” she said, giving him a bright smile before taking a princess-like sip of her coffee.

>Again there was that temptation to ask [i]why[/i]. Why did she need so much blood? Why did she need blood at all? Why the heck was she asking him for it like he had oodles of the stuff in his fridge? But again, he resisted the urge.

>That was just what she wanted. He had to ignore the obvious trap and charge forward into the thick of it.

“Do you need fresh blood or will some stuff that’s a couple days old do?”

>Twilight opened her mouth but immediately closed it, her ears folding against her skull and her brow furrowing in thought.

>“I hadn’t thought of that, actually,” she admitted, looking down at her coffee mug with a frown.

“Well, if we need it fresh, then we’ll need to go out in the field to get it,” Anon said, drumming his fingers against the wooden table. “If you want to just go ahead and get the good stuff, I’d suggest that we set up a stand outside the castle offering ten bits for two pints of blood and see who we can get to come over.”

>“It’s illegal to solicit blood from ponies without a proper license,” Twilight said, though she didn’t look very pleased in saying it.

“License? Why the heck would we need a license to get blood from random ponies?”
>>
>>29399963

>“A hundred and twenty years ago there was an incident with some unicorns in Canterlot. Back then it was popular to purchase blood from poor earth ponies so they could use it to fuel some of their more delicate spells,” the purple princess said, as if reciting it from a book. “The practice was eventually shut down when a demon was summoned incorrectly and rampaged through the city. Now not only are you not allowed to practice blood magic, but you need a medical license to be allowed to get any amount of blood from a pony.”

“Well that seems a little unfair,” the human said, laying it on a little thick. “Just because you had a few bad eggs doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be able to practice dark magic!”

>“I know, right?” Twilight said with huff, missing the sarcasm in his voice completely. “I’ve sent the princess half a dozen letters asking her to have the law repealed, but each time my request has been denied!”

Anon nearly rolled his eyes, but at the last moment he was able to reign in the urge. “You know, I’m sure if you went down to the hospital or the blood bank they’d give you all the blood that you need, law or not. You are a princess, after all.”

>“I went the other day,” she said, her muzzle scrunching up and her cheeks puffing out in indignation. “I spent an hour and a half trying to convince the hospital director to lend me some blood, but no matter how much I begged, she wouldn’t give me any.”

>The princess let out a raspberry. “She said something about me asking for too much or some horse apples like that…”

“Really? I can’t believe it! Ten gallons isn’t [i]that[/i] much blood,” Anon said, shaking his head as he took another sip of his coffee.

>Looking into his eyes, Twilight leaned across the table. She took a moment to look around the kitchen conspiringly, which had him rolling his eyes so hard they they nearly popped out of his head.
>>
>>29399969

>“I did the math last night,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “The hospital should have almost fifty gallons of blood from the blood drive they had a couple of days ago. Factoring in the possibility that they might have had to use some of the blood already and a few bags of it might have had to be discarded for multiple reasons they should have [i]at least[/i] forty-five gallons worth. More than enough that they’d be able to spare a couple of gallons.”

>Resting his elbows on the table, Anon let what Twilight just said hang in the air for a few moments. Like whenever she came to him with a crazy or odd demand, he wanted her to think about what she had just said. In doing so, he hoped that she’d realize just how crazy she sounded and would take the necessary steps to fix the problem, whatever it may be. But, just like every other time he had done this, Twilight just stared back at him expectantly, waiting for him to weigh in on her “problem”.

>Sighing, he took another sip of his coffee and quietly wondered what had happened to his childhood dream of becoming a traveling unicyclist.

“Well, if push comes to shove I can go down to the blood bank and show a little skin. You know how much they love giant, hairless stallions down here…”

>A smile broke out across Twilight’s face once more. “I’m really happy that you’re willing to go to that far to get my blood, Anon,” she said gratefully.

“I was actually being sarcastic,” Anon calmly responded. “I’m not going to flaunt myself in front of those weird blood ponies. If I’m going to be doing any flaunting, it’s going to be in front of a rich, single mare that’s preferably in her early fifties.”

>Twilight didn’t seem to hear, instead staring off into nothing with a glassy-eyed expression. “The scientific field needs ponies like you. Ponies that are willing to do whatever it takes to push the envelope, to set the bar a little higher!--”
>>
>>29399984

“Not a pony. I was hoping you’d have figured that out by now, what with me having hands and all...”

>“Ponies like Clover the Clever and Starswirl the Bearded didn’t stop their research just because ponies didn’t agree with their methods! No, they buckled down, they put in the hours--”

“I don’t remember reading anywhere that Clover or Starswirl worked with blood magic.”

>“-- and sure, they might have done some… questionable things, but it was for the greater good! Without their works we might not have understood the mechanics of earth pony magic, or how a pegasus can form a cloud!”

>With a giggle, Twilight looked over at her resigned assistant, who was wishing with all of his might that he had slept in this morning.

>“I don’t know if our experiments will be as groundbreaking as theirs, but maybe they will,” the bookworm continued. “Maybe we’ll make a spell that jumpstarts a magical renaissance, or lets ponies leave our planet so they we can explore Luna’s stars!”

“I have absolutely no idea how you can be… [i]this[/i] at six in the morning,” Anon said, shaking his head. “I’d think it was impressive if I wasn’t the one that had to deal with it…”

>Giggle now turning into a cackle, Twilight threw her hooves up into the air. “Just think about it, Anon. In a few years we might discover something so amazing that our names will be said in the same sentence as Starswirl or Clover!”

>Ruffling her feathers in excitement, she hopped up onto the table and looking up at the ceiling. “I can see it now. I, the brilliant, daring, and virile scientist and you, the homely and humble assistant, forebearers of an important branch of science that helped make everyponies life better in ways that they couldn’t even imagine!”

Anon snorted. “Homely? I’ll have you know that I’m a [i]solid[/i] seven and a half out of ten.”
>>
>>29400003

>“They’d have lectures on our work! There’d be statues of us erected in great places of learning! I might even get my own section in Canterlot library!”

“So we’re going to solve the mysteries of the universe with ten gallons of blood, then?” Anon asked, not quite sure that if he was ready for Twilight’s answer.

>“Don’t be a silly filly, Anon! You can’t solve anything with blood,” the purple bookworm said, giving him a pat on the head that, to him at least, felt just a little bit condescending. “The blood is just for a few… experiments that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now.”

>She ruffled her feathers in unrestrained glee.

>“Though, you never know…”

Anon nodded, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a small silver flask. “I’m guessing that these experiments are less than legal?” he asked.

>“I won’t tell the poince if you don’t,” Twilight said coolly.

“You know you’re a princess right?” the human asked. “You’re supposed to act with some grace and dignity.”

>Twilight smiled, looking deep into his eyes. “Science,” she simply said, her tone adopting an almost religious reverence as she said it.

“But--”

>“Science.”

“Twi, you can’t just--”

>“Sci-ence.”

>For the third time that morning, Anon felt the urge to question why. Why had he decided to work for this crazy purple horse? He could do better than this, couldn’t he? Maybe he could get a job as a laborer, or maybe a baker.

>Last time he walked by the local strip club in town he had seen that they were looking for exotic males. Maybe he could go and try his hand at that!

>As he pulled the top off the flask, however, he had remembered that no one in Ponyville wanted a giant alien stallion working for them. All except Twilight, the one mare that no one else wanted to work for because they all knew how looney she was.
>>
>>29399953
>>“Anon! I need some blood!”
Already this is promising.
>>
>>29400014

>Groaning at his misfortunes, Anon, number one assistant to Princess Twilight Sparkle, poured half of the contents of his flask into his coffee mug. Putting the flask away and stirring his drink with his finger, he picked up his mug and took a sip.

>Twilight, who had watched him do this, frowned. “Anon, you know that drinking this early in the morning isn’t good for you,”

>Anon gave her the look of a man that has seen far too much in his young life and desperately wished that he was able to return to better times. Times when he still had a shred of innocence left and the world seemed a brighter place.

“We just had a five-minute conversation about getting ten gallons of blood,” he said, taking a big gulp of his “coffee”.

>“We did,” Twilight agreed, as if such conversations were on par with asking someone about the weather.

“You know that most assistants do things like clean up after their bosses and get their schedules in order, right?

>Twilight giggled, nudging him with a wither. “Aren’t you lucky you have such an interesting boss?” she asked.

>Giving her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, Anon made a mental note to check back on the strip club when he walked home later today. If he was lucky, maybe they’d still be hiring.

“It’s why I drink at six in the morning,” he said, raising his mug and toasting her.
>>
>>29400019
Yep, and 10 gallons. Yeah, that's not a lot of blood for something like a blue whale.
>>
>>29397588
Durnk, have you been reading Frank Herbert stuff without proper supervision again?

Please continue.
>>
>>29400023
When I was writing that Celestia thing people were complaining about how OC I made Twilight. This, and every chapter whereafter, are for you lovely folks
>>
>>29400033
I look forward to more Mad Scientist Twiggles in the future
>>
>>29394875
>The stallion who had just dropped you flew back over to pick you up
"Thanks."
>"Y-yeah, no problem. Uhh, this way."
>You notice you're a little bit behind the crowd now
>The stallion who had carried you back here starts walking towards a house, and beckons for you to follow him with his wing
>The house is draped in posters and dark orange banners
>The stallion leads you inside, and you can see a group of stallions huddled around a table
>"Guys, I did it! I brought Anon!"
>The stallions turn to face you, and they certainly look pleased that you're here
>There's a few that you know, like Big Macintosh and your producer friend
>You'd done a few... "productions" with Big Mac
"Aw, Mac, you're here too?"
>"Eeyup."
>Great.
"Well, uh, thanks for rescuing me and all, but I think I'll be on my way. This is nuts."
>This stirs the group up, and they go back into their huddle
>After a little while, they turn to face you again, and an red-orange earth-pony stallion that you don't recognize speaks up
>"But Anon, don't you want to join our movement? You can enact revenge on the royals for kidnapping you and forcing you into marriage!"
"You're rioting in the streets, I don't really wanna be a part of this
>They return to their huddle
>The red-orange stallion pokes his head back out from the huddle after a few seconds
>"Okay Anon, maybe our offer was a bit rushed. Allow us to explain first, eh?"
>He's asking like you had a choice.
>With a sigh, you say "Fine."
>"Perfect! My name is Taurus-"
"Taurus, huh?"
>Taurus seems unfazed by this and continues talking
>"And I'm the leader per se of this revolution happening here. Now, with that out of the way, do you know why we are rebelling?"
"I can guess. This whole situation is pretty similar to another group of idiots from my world called feminists-"
>"I don't know what these 'feminists' had to deal with, but I assure you here it's much worse!"
>Right.
"Okay, okay, fine. Keep explaining."
>>
>>29400039
>>"I don't know what these 'feminists' had to deal with, but I assure you here it's much worse!"
>"One time a mare looked at me. When I cried and accused her of stare-raping me, everpony started laugh-raping me!"
>>
>>29400033
This story looks like it's going to be fun.
>>
>>29400039
>"Here, mares expect us to not be capable of anything! I know you haven't been in this land a super long time, but I'm sure you've seen this!"
>Yes, you had noticed it
>Mares rushing to open doors for you and offering to hold your things, and complementing and hitting on you every chance they got
>Although you'd always just assumed that was because you were a known pornstar
>Now that you're thinking about it though, gender roles were literally reversed in Equestria
>Maybe that's why you were such a popular star back in your days
"Yeah, I kinda noticed."
>"Well, it's terrible and we're sick of it! We wanna be equals for once! We've proven we're capable of doing our own work, just look at Big Mac here!"
>"Eeyup."
>"All of us get shunted into stereotypical jobs like waiters and nurses, while the mares get all the important jobs that actually matter! Plus, the royalty here is controlled almost entirely by mares! Sure, there's princes, but how much do they actually do? Look at Blueblood, they put some pampered fool in a semi-high position just to make us believe we have representation!"
>The guy did have a point, Blueblood was a complete idiot after all.
>"And since the mares have all this authority, they're basically given free passes to practically rape us while they're in heat! Do you have any idea how many times a load of us have had to hide out in Big Mac's barn because of all the ravenous mares out hunting for horsecock?"
>You did notice that the mares of this world would periodically get extremely horny, more so than you'd expect
>"It doesn't help that we get handed off to marry whoever our mother thinks is best to solidify family ties.."
>Damn, this shit was basically like the middle ages of Earth
"Okay, I can see where you're coming from, because you're right, the position you're in is a bit ridiculous. But rioting? Really?"
>"Alright, we admit that things may have gotten a little out of hand, but you agree with us that this is deserved, right?"
>>
>>29400106
Alright, since I'm basically only writing this for practice, I'll let you guys decide what Anon does. Do you want him to

A: Join the Vox Tauri and help 'em out
B: Screw the Vox Tauri and try to return to Flurry
C: Deathwish sort of option, screw both of them and run off somewhere with both the Vox and Flurry chasing after him
Or D: Insert option here
>>
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>>29399945
>>
>>29400121
A all the way I want to have Anon teaching ponies the ancient art of molotov cocktails
>>
>>29400121
C. The Flurry situation is fucked, but Anon should know better than to join the horse-feminists.
>>
>>29400121
http://pastebin.com/cRBn1ihu
^ pastebin for anyone who wants to read up before they choose new readers please excuse my shitty writing
>>
>>29400121
C. cue the theme music*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg
>>
oh god
>>
>>29400121
Don't have a fucking vote. You know these cucks will choose a or c. Just go with fucking b and write some porn or stop writing altogether.
>>
>>29394875
You know?

I have to get a newer computer. I can run these things on my phone, and my computer is sixteen years old. Fuck.
>>
>>29400121
b
>>
>>29400121
just go with B.
>>
>>29400033
Ah, this looks like it's one of your stories going on your Fimfic.
>>
>>29400121
>voting
dont do that
>>
>>29400301
What's wrong with having a vote?
>>29400269
I suck horsecock [pun intended] at writing clop. I'm bad enough at writing as it is without throwing porn into the mix
>>
>>29400121
D: Have anon put his profession to use and screw all parties into peace.
>>
>>29400121
D - Anon goes back with Flurry but uses his position of power and easily sways Flurry into slowly giving stallions more rights. Maybe he makes it a condition of him getting back with her or something.
>>
>>29400319
take this to a quest thread or something if you're asking for votes

also, all these fucking twilight stories we might as well be the twilight general

115 posts about her last thread, 50+ this thread
>>
>>29400121
C
I can't ee the vox hunting him down though. If he wants to go his own way, he can just tell them that forcing him to join them is just as bad as what the mares do, and that they're actively opressing Equestria's only human.
Then he can just fuck off to, I dunno, changeling lands to make more porn, or minotaur lands who he may feel more at home with.
>>
>>29400467
This is the only time I'll ask for votes, this isn't a quest and I dont want it to be
>>
>>29400121
A
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>>29400467
I agree, we need more Fluttershy.
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>>29400467
Is somebody grumpy?
>>
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>Sometime after Anon has settled in RGREquestria, the ponies finally find a way to create a portal to earth.
>Unsure what to do with the first contact, Celestia and Luna pull Anon from his leisurely life as househusband and make him into the "Minister of Human Affairs"
>He's not too happy about being pulled away from his family and shoved into a position they just made up.
>So naturally, being spiteful and difficult is the route he takes.
>The meetings between him and earth's leaders churns up a shitstorm bigger than Trump being elected for a number of reasons. Like generally being an asshole and getting away with it.
>But the biggest reasons are his adamant refusal to take human refugees or allow immigration into Equestria.
>And since Equestria is already the sole superpower of Equis and not reliant on importing OR exporting, Anon can afford to wait for trade deals and treaties biased in his favor.
>But once people get a general idea of RGREquestria's wealth, magic, and utopian quality of life, millions are clamoring to get in overnight.
>Men want in for easy love.
>Women want in to finally experience a matriarchy.
>Poor want in for new lives and opportunities.
>Rich want in for business ventures and dreams of living like kings,
>Vermin want in to leech on the wealth and charity.
>Virtuous want in to have a home to be proud of.
>The word "No" has never triggered so many people so fast before.
>As he watches yet another riot (or "peaceful showing to protest the unfair Equestrian Minister" as the news calls it) from his earth office, he wishes he was at home cuddling his wife or playing with his kids.
>Maybe he should let a few hopeless cases in for shits and giggles?
>>
>>29400319
You don't want a vote in thread because it eats up replies and sages the thread quicker.

Make a strawpoll.
>>
>>29400622
I imagine a lot of mares would be clambering for an unending supply of males as well.
>>
>>29400121
A, I want to see how this pans out
>>
>>29400033
>>29400023
Super scientist, Super Twi.
Way better than that spider guy.
Experiments, dissects her friends.
Pokes inside with the greatest care.
Look out, here comes the science Twi.

>>29400121
D: Get Flurry in on this shit and try to unfuck the world together.

>>29400498
Asking for votes is bad practice.
>>
>>29400369
I don't think someone who was forced into a shotgun wedding has a choice in politics.
>>29400121
C
>>
>>29400753
>Be Lyra.
>You snuck into the portal!
>Finally unlimited human di-
>"Down with the matriarch!"
>What?
>"Down with the man!"
>Why?
>"Gib me free sheet!"
>You look around at the rioting crowd before turning around and going back.
>You are met with three royal gaurdsmare.
"H-Hey ladies."
>You say forcing a smile.
>"Now you see why we don't let them in?"
"What, you're not gonna arrest me?"
>"Why would we? Ponies can go to earth if they want to. Just most of us don't because of how much it sucks. Why you wanna go back?" She says raising her eyebrow.
"BUCK NO! I'm going back to Ponyville!"
>And so you did.
>>
>>29400498
asking for votes is a sign that you don't think we trust you as a writefag, and you don't even trust yourself. it's a blatant attempt at pandering to the readers of the thread so that the direction you take the story is in line with the majority's desires instead of what YOU want to write.
from now on, there will be this nagging doubt in the back of my mind whenever I read this story, because I'm always wondering if you decided this would be good for the story, of if you've let others write the story for you. if you don't have an outline or a direction you want your story to take, either write out an outline or take a break from writing for a bit and come back to it later when you have a better handle on things.
>>
>>29400946
>>"Down with the matriarch!"
wat
>>
>>29400946
>Ponies go to/scry Earth
>See shit like this
>Wonder how Anon made it to his adult life so well-adjusted and friendly
>>
>>29401014
>Feminists see Equestria
>See it's a matriarchy
>See how shitty the mares are treated
>See how nopony cares about their issues
>See how awful it is for a mare
>"Down with the matriarchy!"
>Zero self-awareness
They will never be pleased.
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>>29400946
>>29401034
So you're saying... bring the men to the front to meet with the mares to foster good 'diplomatic relations'?
>>
>>29401088
>pic
>"Oh, Anon, all this crisp air is making me feel so cold. I think I need to..."
>Lyra slowly and sensually zips up her hoodie, right up to her neck
>"...cover up."
>>
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>>29401122
>not crawling into your hoodie
>>
>>29401034
>"Down with the matriarchy!"

They will just use circular logic to justify calling EQ a patriarchy and blame everything on men
>>
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>>29401147
>Celestia's face when they turn around and blame the stallions for her 'unequal reign'
>>
>>29401139
>Anon buys a larger hoodie to keep Lyra in the front
>Bonbon wants in, attaches to his back
>He needs an even bigger hoodie
>This time with straps inside the front and back
>Fillies think it's fun to grab onto his legs and ride his feet as he walks
>Anon gets special pants with little hoofholds
>Pinkie starts hanging onto his side, so he carries her like a football
>Rainbow Dash knows a good napping spot when she sees one
>Takes the spot in the crook of his other arm
>They pitch in to buy him a better coat
>Anon walks around ponyville most of the day covered in ponies
>Gets snuggles
>Gets dem gains.
>Life is good.
>>
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>>29401207
That...would be an amazing way to get fit.
>>
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>>29401180
[Distant tumblr REEEEEEing and crying]
>"..."
"I told you, Sunnybuns. There's no winning here."
>"..."
>>
>>29401207
>ponies look forward to the end of the ealk, because then they get to lick the salt from his sweat.
>>
>>29401237
ponies probably weigh on average 150 pounds each. If you wanna get somewhere quickly this is not the way to go
>>
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>>29401336
>ponies probably weigh on average 150 pounds each
>implying
>>
>>29401139
>How’s a human male to earn an income in a world where all that’s expected of him is to stay home and take care of the foals?
>The answer came to you in the form of a minty-mare.
>Lyra, whom almost always hitched a ride inside the confines of your old worn out hoodie made an off-hand remark one day.
>”Mares would pay for something like this.”
>Not one to let a golden opportunity pass you by you began the “Anonymous Public Transport” company.
>For the low-low price of just five bits, you’d get a comfy ride to wherever in town while seated inside a hoodie.
>Headpats along the way cost an additional two bits.
>Business was good.
>Excpet…
>”My dear Anonymous would you be so kind to take me to Twilights castle?”
>Celestia
>Again
“I thought we went over this, you can’t fit in here.”
>”Oh nonsense, I’ve been on a fantastic diet and I’m sure-“
“Fine, but if you fall out I can’t be held responsible.”
>>
>>29394204
>ywn fight this thing to the death in a post-apocalyptic scenario, bashing it's legs with a shitty bat while it comes at you with razors blades and lasers
Oh well.
>>
>>29401367
do you honestly think that a 3 foot 4 creature would weigh anything less than 100 pounds? On that note, Celestia is so tall she would be looking and adult male in the eyes or down on you if you're a manlet
>>
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>>29401444
>im-ply-ing
>>
>>29401336
I dunno man. Going by most of the fan measurements, their shoulders are only about as high up as a large-ish dog. It is true, they have very long necks, big heads, and stout legs. But assuming they're made of typical flesh, I still have trouble imagining the standard sized mares are more than 120lbs most of the time.

And of course, a lot of people prefer to imagine them as smaller, or made of lower density marshmallow stuff.

I guess that's not much different from what you said anyways.
>>
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>>29401385
That's cute.

And good exercise.
>>
>>29401385
Have a story I wrote a little while back about ponies in hoodies:

http://pastebin.com/jqmZQaX7
>>
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>>29401455
>Rainbow, the mareliest mare around, will never admit just how much she loves a full-body hug.
>Behind closed doors, however, it's hard to keep her off of you.
>>
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>>29401500
This is the best Dash. Ultra cuddly and touchy in private to match her loyalty.
>>
>>29401472
>Celestia buys his services for an entire day
>Even splurges on headpats and nuzzles
>He shows up in the morning and she hops, folding her rear legs up and through the straps
>Almost a year of being covered in ponies just about everywhere he walks has made Anon /fit/
>Her neck rests against his cheek and her head rests on his head
>The payment for headpats and nuzzles was for her
>His hoodie stretches around her, and he has to grab both her enormous cheeks to hold her up
>She has breakfast this way, sitting in his lap and hoodie at the breakfast table
>Luna taunts her, but Celestia just says she's jealous she didn't think of this first
>Gets crumbs on Anon's head
>Headpats and nuzzles him while he walks her to each appointment
>He either faces the wall or she twists her neck at meetings
>Holds Comfy-Court(tm)
>Naps on him in the garden in the afternoon, still in his hoodie

>She tells him to stop being so marely and just do it
>She'll pay a hour's worth each time

>She tells him to just move his hands a little farther apart and keep her an inch or two above the toilet
>>
>>29401472
>Your back hurts, arms feel like they’re on fire, and your right knee keeps making this weird popping noise with every step you take.
“We- we’re he-re.”
>Celestia only ignored your comment and continue to hum to herself while looking this way and that.
>With sweat on your brow, you did what any man who was keeping a larger than normal pony up by holding their butt.
>You let go.
>And just like that her royal highness slipped from the confines of your hoodie and landed on her rump, which elicited an “Umph!”
>Placing your hands on your knees you panted from the exertion.
>Boy were you out of shape.
>”That was a most enjoyable ride, though you may want to work on the delivery part.”
>Looking up at the princess who was no longer on the ground you shook your head.
“That’ll be five bits.”
>Celestia’s face turned from happy to slightly nervous.
>”I believe we may have a slight problem then since I normally don’t carry any bits with me.”
>Your eye twitched.

>Be Twilight
>You were being given a perfectly nice lesson on tax law by Princess Celestia.
>Everything she explained was beyond fascinating.
>”Any further questions Twilight?”
“Just the one really, why are you wearing a sign that says ‘Bad Pony’ around your neck?”
>>
>>29401499
>Language Anonymous,
I'm speaking English, love
>>
>>29401139
>"This vessel can no longer contain my bloodlust!"
>>
>>29401207
>Anon is pone-Voltron
>>
>>29401472
>Duck face
>Blush
>Perfect sparkly mane
>Looking in the exact opposite direction of the point of interest
>"The camera went off on its own, I'm not a model"
>>
>>29401529
>>She tells him to just move his hands a little farther apart and keep her an inch or two above the toilet
"That's gross, Celestia."
>"I paid for an entire day, dammit!"
>>
>>29401566
>>“Just the one really, why are you wearing a sign that says ‘Bad Pony’ around your neck?”
>Pony-shaming Celestia

>"I solicited a ride from the cuddle monkey and didn't have any bits on me"
>"I broke Anon's table when I tried to show off how good I am at jumping up on his things"
>"I eat my sister's share of the cake and then blame it on nearby maids"
>>
>>29401770
"Still not happening, and if you keep pushing for it, YOU SHALL BE BANNED FROM ANON PIGGYBACK SERVICE, AND PUT IN THE DIRTY PONE BOX! Also none as the bad pone box, but if it makes you feel any better, I will add the minuets it takes you in the bathroom as overtime."
>>
>>29401770
>Anon finds out that her shit does not, in fact, stink.
>He thought the smell of flowers and honey was the air freshener
>This explains so much of her behavior.
>>
>>29401814
>>He thought the smell of flowers and honey was the air freshener
"Oh, ew."
"...."
"Oh, ew!"
>>
dammit everything is going to shit, what do i do...
oh i know!
>anon has skin hunger
>also has anxiety
>when twi decides to learn more about anon in a medical fashion she scans him and finds out about it
>luckily the cure is readily avalable
>its time for cuddles
>>
>>29401904
whats skin hunger? does he eat pony skin?
>>
>>29401941
His skin lashes out in primal hunger whenever a living creature nears him.
>>
>>29401941
>>29401964
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/affectionado/201308/what-lack-affection-can-do-you
its funny that doctors actually named it this.
>>
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>>29400023
OH MY GOSH

OH MY GOSH!

OH MY GOOOSHH~
>>
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Guy doing "Rarara and Co misunderstand human men" How's that going?
>>
>>29401718
>Anon gains powers from the ponies attached to him
>The Elements of Harmony are a Legendary Item Set
>Applejack wrapped around his right arm, rear legs coiled up near his hand
>Unique: Apple Family Touch: Each strike with fist or weapon in right hand does triple damage. Sometimes strikes a second time; extra attacks do double damage and ignore armor. Once a day you may use an extra strike to unequip all your opponent's weapons and armor. Extra attacks disable your right arm for one second.
>Rarity wrapped around his left arm, face just above his fist
>Unique: It. Is. ON!: Can use weak telekinesis. Can use small objects or nearby gems as projectiles. Can equip multiple daggers in left hand with a range of 40 meters. Only one effect is usable at a time. Once a day you may use a sonic attack to disorient and disable up to 3 enemies.
>Rainbow dash on his back, strapped into a harness around his torso
>Unique: My Middle name is Danger: Confers the power of flight - only ranged attacks are usable in the air. Charge up to use Sonic Rainboom (once per day). Increases ground movement speed by 20% per Pony equipped. You suffer no collision damage, but are instead slowed for four seconds.
>Fluttershy on right leg
>Unique: Beastmaster: Use any creature larger than you as a mount for a short time. Perception doubled outside cities. Animals will not attack you. Once a day, you may charm an animal to fight for you for a short time, or stop combat with any hostile.
>Pinkie Pie on left leg
>Unique: Bouncy: no penalties for difficult terrain. Jump height increased by 400%, and landing on a rock will make your point of impact with it level with the ground. You are immune to fear or insanity effects. Once a day, kick an opponent from within their hair, clothes, or beneath any nearby object.
>>
>>29402160
>Twilight in hoodie on chest
>Unique: NERD!: Reveals opponent's stats and vulnerabilities. Gives information on any object, location, or being.
>Unique: Royal Clearance: Allows use of offensive spells from chest slot. Teleport anywhere within 100 meters - this ability uses a stock system: recharge 100 seconds, max count 5. Offers advice and strategy suggestions.

>Applejack Set Bonus: Extra attacks do not disable your right arm and land every other hit.
>Rarity Set bonus: Two effects are usable at the same time and you may use up to six floating daggers with twice the range. Sonic attacks now effect all enemies within 40 meters.
>Rainbow Dash Set bonus: Only opponents, structures, or terrain suffer collision damage. Terrain damaged in this way become difficult terrain for 40 meters in all directions. Ground movement speed increase by 30% per Pony eqipped. You may use Melee attacks in the air.
>Fluttershy Set Bonus: Beastmaster may be used against any being. Animals you charm to fight for you join your party until you dismiss them (max 1).
>Pinkie Pie Set Bonus: Difficult terrain increases your movement speed by 50% and damage from kicks by 100%. Fear or insanity effects are now reflected at the caster. Daily ability now always lands a critical strike.
>Twilight Sparkle Set Bonus: All daily abilities now have a 40 second cooldown. If you are caught in CC effects, Twilight will control your body and abilities until they are removed. Offensive spells cast by her now double in strength. Teleport range doubled and recharge reduced to 10 seconds (max 10 stacks).
>Set Set bonus: You now have six mares in your herd. Grants immunity to other mares.
>>
>>29402167
Pony set OP plz nerf
>>
>>29400106
Option c, leading into b. anon ends up hiding somewhere like a cave while flurry is looking for him, anon sees her frantically searching for him, and becoming more and more distraught when she cant find him, untill boom, super touching moment where anon gives her a spook while shes crying because she couldnt find him, they talk it out "didnt apreciate being married to you at spearpoint" yadda yadda
>heartfelt moment
>and then they fug
[s]super hard[/s]
>>
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>>29402244
>>
>>29402128
which one are you talking about?
>>
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>>29401007
My plan was originally to go with C, but I figured you guys would like having at least some control of where the story goes. I guess democracy makes people salty though, lesson learned.
>>
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>>29401499
Ah, I remember those threads. That was some comfy stuff.
>>
>>29402325
democracy gets the sparkly vampire series and the shitty BDSM fanfiction to the top of the best-sellers list
>>
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>>29402372
that's actually a really good fucking point, shit...

Okay, fuck democracy, I'm going with choice C no matter what people say

ill post tomorrow
>>
>>29401941
No, it's like how how that one guy got his nervous system removed to reconstitute his moral compass.
>>
>>29402263
Mobilefagging, cant into spoilers
>>
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>>29402395
>>
Anon arrives in Equestria, only to become disgusted by the number of males who had become prostitutes.
>>
>>29402534
Does weaver still into pone?
>>
>>29402549
Not really, mostly zootoipa
>>
>>29402534
>With Equestria's extremely liberal views on sex, prostitution is actually one of the more accepted jobs for stallions
>It's common to see colts completely covered in clothes, strutting around and flirting with any mare who comes near
>>
>>29402635
>Anonymous arrives in Equestria covered in clothes
>After he settles in with Twilight, he asks about getting a job
>She tells him about the brothel on the edge of town.
>He thinks she's messing with him, so he leaves to go find a job on his own.
>He's turned down at every single one.
>Each time they tell him about the brothel
>When he gets offended at the suggestion, they scoff at him.
>"It's honest work."
>"Ponies 'round here sure would appreciate yer efforts."
>"You seem like the kind of stallion that would excel in that career field."
>"Zis is not a brothel, good sir. Zis is a Spa."
>>
>>29402671
>Eventually, he goes to the brothel and applies
>They just laugh when he offers a resume, and tell him to show his cock
>He's hired on the spot and sent to the 'exotic males' section
>The other stallions, a mix of zebras, dragons, and griffons, see his unique looks as competition and constantly try and sabotage his 'dates'
>>
>>29397588
>After a day of binging Robotech, an idea appears.
>>
>>29402671
>>29402752
It's this kind of shit that would make me go try to live with the griffins or the minotaurs.
>>
>>29401499
>http://pastebin.com/jqmZQaX7
Dawww, that was a cute one. Thanks writefag.
>>
>>29402853
"Well, ponies," you say as you pick your suitcase up and head over to the open train car, "You helped in that you didn't help me at all. I'll see you all in hell."
>You moved to the minotaur lands where shit wasn't quite as weird as it was in Equestria.
>You made many friends, most based around your mutual disdain for how degenerate the ponies were.
>You worked at a respectable job, found a nice cow woman with huge tits, and bought a house.
>And you never saw those ponies ever again.
The End.
>>
>>29400033
It's ok, much better that eqg stuff.
>>
>>29402635
>”So Anon… how much?”
“How much what? You’re not making a lick of sense here Rainbow.”
>You could’ve sworn she muttered something about “licking” under her breath, but she was being a silly pony.
>”I mean you wear clothes all the time like the- you’re going to make me say it aren’t you, like those whorses down at the clubs.”
>Oh that’s what she meant by “how much?”
“So let me see if I got this right, you’re going to pay me to have sex with you?”
>Nervously shaking her head up and down, Rainbow refused to look you in the eye.
“Your place or mine?”
>And that’s how you became Anon the Gigolo, the human who fucked anything and everything, as long as the price was right.
>>
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>>29402853
>>29402910
>wants to live a normal life with a respectable job with a big titted wife and a decent hous
Why the fuck are you wasting your time here?
>>
>>29402910
Well, if they really consuder a respectable job and no consequences then yes I would let mares pay me to dick them. The only thing I would have to worry about is practicing safe sex and the occasional tuftbearded slob and everything would be hunky dory
>>
I have a green ready to post, but I don't know if I should this close to needing a new thread.
>>
>>29403095
We still have 130 until the limit. Post it
>>
>>29402990
> Anon can't stand making a living in a normal way
> Instead, he finds the skechiest opportunities he can
> Professional Teat Twister
> Dock inspector
> Sells pictures of his hands making obscene gestures
> Salted pretzel vendor
> Makes a few molds for BadAlien
> Boston Creme smuggler
> Sells custom body pillows for degenerate snugglers
>>
Ok, here's my re-write. Please let me know if it's an improvement or a downgrade
-------
>You whip your head back, getting your perfectly-coiffed mane out of the way for a little bit.
>Sugarcube corner is almost empty, save for your friends and a few stragglers from the breakfast rush.
"Girls, I need to talk to you all."
>"Is that why you're thowing a flash-mob party at sugarcube corner Rarity?" Pinkie asks from the side of the table, holding a tray of drinks
>You huff.
"No, Pinkie, this isn't a party. This is serious. It's about Anonymous."
>Applejack takes out a flask from under her hat and adds something to her tea
>From the smell, it's applejuice. What else?
>"Well, what's the matter, sugarcube?"
>"You should ask Rarity what's wrong, AJ, not the building!" Pinkie says, hoofing a cup of strong coffee over to Twilight
>AJ gives her a deadpan look
>"Yah know what Ah meant, Pinkie."
>"Girls, please let her speak," Twiligh says after sipping her cup of tar. She really should consider breathmints. "I think with that all we've been through, our lessons in friendship should be able to help Anonymous and Rarity, whatever their problem is."
"Oh dear, I think you've got the wrong idea, Twilight. We're not exactly having relationship problems. I...I think Anonymous, wherever he came from, was...mistreated by the mares back home.
>You shrink a little in your seat, afraid to even bring up something so dark.
"Abused, even."
>>
>>29403172
>Rainbow jerks her head up to look at you, even as she stirs her chocolate protein shake with her straw
>"What? How could someone so big get abused by mares? The big guy is, well, a big guy!"
>"For you, Rainbow," Twilight begins in lecture mode, "but I've talked with Anonymous before about sexual dysmorphia of his species, and the mares are actually smaller than him in most cases, in both height and total body mass, discounting, of course, the obesity epidemic he said was ravaging his country like a plague."
"Indeed, Twilight, and I'm glad he didn't bring it with him, but I believe the injuries they've inflicted upon Anonymous were not physical in nature."
>"I was wondering why you were checking out all those books and asking questions about that, Rarity. Gosh, I never thought I'd actually meet somepony who was actually a victim of something like that! I mean, it's [CURRENT YEAR]!"
"Yes, all the signs are there. He's very sweet, but I can't help but feel that there is some kind of underlying fear behind his actions. It's almost as if he's afraid to do anything at all that might offend or anger me!"
>"That's a tall claim there, Rares," Applejack says before taking a drink. "You sure it ain't just nerves? I know stallions can be a mite skittish."
>You stir some honey into your own tea, only the sounds of your spoon and the wriggling of Pinkie's plot on the cushioned bench to compete with them.
"Well, one time he was helping Sweetiebell's friends with some new adventure and he tore his shirt. Instead of telling me and letting me repair it--which I would have been happy to do--he instead buried it somewhere, snuck inside, put on another, and then acted as if he didn't remember the shirt at all!"
>"Heh, I can't fault 'im fer tryin' to avoid yer wrath when it comes to clothin."
"I wouldn't have been angry, he tore it while spending time with Sweetiebell and her friends! I was angrier at him for burying the evidence!
>>
>>29403172
HERE WE GO AGAIN INTO THE GREAT RABBIT HOLE
>>
>>29403179
>You huff.
"I had to pry the story from my little sister, but I haven't confronted him about it yet."
>"Still, one data point doesn't make it a pattern. We'd need a few more examples in different situations to draw any kind of conclusion." Twilight's coffee-breath wafts over to your side of the table, and you use the excuse of waving off her objection to fan your own face.
>You were a polite mare.
"He bends over backwards to make sure that I'm always in a good mood, and he's been asking around for ideas for dates to take us on. That's my job as the mare in the relationship! Not that I don't mind a stallion that takes care of his mares, mind you.
"Anytime the two of us share a quiet moment in the house, he'll suddenly ask me what's wrong. He's totally convinced that if I'm quiet around him, I'm giving him the silent treatment!"
>The mares around the table gasp.
>You might have spoken a little too loud. One old mare from the table on the far wall flinches and looks over to you with sympathy.
>Fluttershy leans her head down even closer to the table, her pink hair curling around her cup of hot chocolate.
>"The silent treatment? Oh, my, that's very serious. I, um, heard that somepony only does that when they think the other has cheated on them."
"Exactly, darling, and he's been nothing but faithful. He even gets uncomfortable when I brought up the idea of bringing in another mare into our little herd."
>>
>>29403172
>re-write
What for? Write something new.
>>
>>29403183
>"Honestly Rarity," Rainbow says around her straw, leaning her face onto her propped-up hoof, "I'm surprised that your herd hasn't grown to three or more, if what you say about his 'stamina' is true."
"I shudder to think of what the mares from his home have done to him to make him so frightened about cheating."
>Twilight tapped her hooves on either side of her coffee cup and started to speculate.
>"Well, we should consider the logical possibility that he's been cheated on before, probably multiple times, and now he's developed some kind of complex around being absolutely faithful, and showing his special somepony that."
>You push up a small blue diamond necklace hanging against your chest, twisting your neck up to get a good look at it.
>The jewel itself wasn't that rare or expensive, but the exquisite metalwork wreathing the stone in silver must have cost a good bag of bits
>You couldn't even find out how much it cost, since it was a commission from outside Ponyville.
"He also spends a lot of his money buying gifts for me. Now, don't get me wrong, I love gifts from my stallion, but he buys such outlandish things I can hardly bring myself to accept them, especially when it's not even a special occasion. But it gets worse."
>You look around the room for any foals running about. Finding none, you take a deep breath.
>The rest of the girls all lean in
"I don't think that's just quite the extent of it, either, Twilight. Now, none of this leaves this circle, understand? I only kiss and tell the lot of you because you're my friends, but it won't do to have this kind of information spreading out to the rumor mill in town...
"He...none of our, ahem, 'encounters' concludes without him 'giving me face,' as it were."
>"You serious, Rares? Most stallions wouldn't even think of doin' that, 'cept on a special occasion!" Applejack said, furrowing her brow.
>"Ha-ha, it's not that difficult!" Rainbow slapped a hoof on the table, "You just have to get them drunk enough!"
>>
>>29403190
>"Really, Rainbow?"
"ANYway, he goes far beyond what any stallion would be expected to do. He won't stop until I've 'arrived' at least once, even though I beg him to move on!"
>Every set of wings at the table start to rise a little, but none of them notice because they're leaned in so far to listen
>"You...you ask him to stop...THAT?" Twilight was rubbing her hooves together just above the table, blushing up a storm.
"Of course Twilight, sometimes a mare just wants to skip to the best part, especially when, as he calls it, 'fourplay' takes more than five minutes!"
>Twilight leans back and squashes her wings against the bench
>She pulls out a parchment and quill from...somewhere and starts writing notes on it.
>You notice it's in her own "cypher" that she made when she was a filly, with long, curving lines and interconnected words.
>You appreciate the secrecy, but by Celestia, Twilight needs a good rutting.
>"We can consider researching this 'fourplay,' later. Thus far, we can conclude he was probably cheated on by multiple mares before he arrived here, with at least one of them shaming him for lack of satisfaction in the bedroom, and another making their own commitment completely contingent on material gain or sexual satisfaction, instead of emotional reciprocity. If such actions occur with the frequency you report, Rarity, then more than one of them also did this to him, almost as if they were shaping his behavior..."
"That's still not the worst part, darling. One night, after quite the 'session,' he...I can hardly bring myself to say it."
>Somehow, the dining area becomes even quieter.
>You feel Fluttershy put a hoof on your withers.
>"It's ok, Rarity, you can tell us. We won't think any less of you or Anonymous."
>You reach up and pat her hoof with your own.
"Thank you, dearest. After the, ah, regular portion of our lovemaking was concluded, he asked me while we were snuggling if we could do something 'more.'"
>You see Applejack's eyebrows raise.
>>
>>29403199
>Twilight draws another column next to her notes and writes something down
>"That's not abberant behavior. Common courtesy requires asking to do something other than what we would consider vanilla."
"Yes, Twilight, but he was asking at every single step! At first I was so shocked that he would be willing to do such a thing, and he took it as if I was offended, and thought I would want him to sleep on the couch for the night!"
>That set Twilight off on another furious scribbling session.
>"And what was it he was asking to do that he thought might have offended you so seriously?"
"I had to beg him to spill, and ten minutes later he finally admitted that he wanted to know if I would even consider anal."
>That got a few more gasps from the crowd of mares.
>The old mare at the far table spit her coffee out onto her newspaper.
>Mrs. Cake dropped a muffin tin on the floor in the back.
>Upstairs, one of the twins woke up and cried.
>Far up in the clouds a pegasus felt a shiver down her spine, and both of her eyes aligned just long enough to look in the direction of Sugarcube Corner.
>Anonymous sneezed on his client inside the spa.
>"He thought you'd kick 'im to the couch just fer HIM askin YOU fer that?" Applejack said, "I sometimes ferget he's not from around here."
>"It takes a mare with real teats to ask their stallion for that!" Rainbow laughed, "You're one lucky mare, Rarity!"
>"Oh Dash, I wish I was brave enough to ask a stallion for, um, for that," Fluttershy whimpered, "or a-anypony, really..."
>"Rarity, the list was already long enough, but to add that to the list...It's unheard of!" Twilight shouted and turned her notes around to show you, but to you it just looked like a bunch of squiggles in boxes. "It's common knowledge asking a mare if she wants anal is like asking Princess Celestia if she wants cake!" She then turned it back to herself and scribbled furiously again.
>>
>>29403208
>You let her little slip-up slide. Celestia wouldn't be pleased to have her own student calling her out on her own cake problem.
"I know dear, it took everything I had as a mare to keep my composure after that. I just *sniff* I tear up just thinking about what Anonymous has been through back home. Those mares must have been just downright dreadful to him!"
>Applejack pushed her hat forward, down over her face, and slammed a hoof on the table.
>"It's too bad they ain't here raht now, else I'd be headin' down to their place to give'em a piece of mah mind, and mah hooves!"
>"Yeah!" Rainbow agreed, "We could give them a lesson Cloudsdale-style!"
>Twilight stopped writing for a moment and just stared at the paper.
>"We have to do something about this, girls. I've read every psychology paper and textbook published in the last twenty years. Rarity, I think at some point you're going to have to ask him about it."
"B-but I couldn't bring myself to ask him who did this to him! I don't want to bring up so many traumatic experiences, we've only been a herd for a couple months now!"
>"Yes, but I think this is something that should be worked out now, instead of later, when it might escalate into resentment or paranoia. First on the list: sexual satisfaction. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your own during coitus?"
>The rest of the mares at the table all jerked their heads toward the alicorn to stare.
>Determined, she just pressed on without a flinch.
"Ten, most certainly."
>"And how long would you say these sessions last? Six, seven minutes, including what he calls 'fourplay' to pad the numbers?"
>Pinkie wriggles and twitches in her seat.
>"Ooh, twitcha-twitch! Here comes a doozy!"
>>
>>29403211
>You ignored her and answered the question
>Your stallion was a higher priority than falling objects somewhere in town.
"By Celestia, no! He becomes depressed if it's any less than fifteen and apologizes profusely! Most times it's in the range of half an hour to an hour, even...even two hours sometimes."
>Twilight gave you a deadpan look.
>"Rarity, I'm trying to help you. Exaggerating your experience will only muddy the data."
>Applejack lets out whistle.
>"Hoo-wee. She ain't lyin, far as I can tell. I hardly believe myself."
>"There it is!" Pinkie shouts, "How do you not explode?"
>Twilight scratched out something on her parchment and shook her head.
>"Whew, ok then: fifteen minutes to two hours...I think a brief summary on the average sexual performance of an equine male would definitely help Anonymous with his concerns about satisfying you sexually. You should also seriously consider a hydration schedule from now on."
"I, I suppose I could tell him."
>"It doesn't have to be you, I already wrote a paper and have a presentation prepared on the subject, for when--"
>Twilight looks up from her notes and covers her own mouth with a hoof.
>"I-I mean, it was for a b-biology class back in Canterlot."
>Dash and Pinkie both laugh, Applejack blushes, and Fluttershy blushes up a storm.
>"Sure it was, Sugarcube, sure it was."
>"Um," Fluttershy whimpers, "c-could I see it, too?"
>Both of these mares REALLY needed a good rutting.
>>
>>29403216
>"ANYWAY, Rarity, you should also let him know that no matter how much he buys you, you could not love him any more or any less. I'm sure a letter or two to my sister-in-law could help you with that. I would also suggest getting one gallop ahead of him and initiating more experimentation in the bedroom, or being the first to ask. He's clearly eager to please you, so be honest with what you want, and be sure he's honest about what he does and does not like.
>"As for the rest of us, we can take steps, too. Having conversations about our love-lives around him, or our sexual experiences, within earshot of him can help cement the validity of the information he receive in the presentation. Comments about the duration, satisfaction, and what we like done to us and do to stallions would go a long way in creating context for his own performance."
>You and your friends are silent for a moment, processing what she just suggested.
>"Twi', am I hearin what I think I'm hearin?"
>"Oh...my...I don't know."
>"Girls, Anonymous is our friend, and we have to do what we can to help him. It's time to Mare Up and do whatever we can to at least TRY and heal the wounds he's received in the Tartarus he came from. I'd also suggest comments about how a mare cheating on her stallion is very uncommon, or how gifts won't buy love, and how important commitment is here."
>Murmurs of agreement, and a small 'eep' can be heard around the table.
>You can feel tears welling up in your eyes at the efforts your friends are willing to go through to help your poor, abused stallion.
"Th-thank you girls, from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me!"
>Twilight reaches over and puts her hoof on your own.
>"Don't worry, Rarity. Together, we can save this stallion."
>>
>>29403223
>You are Anonymous.
>You are walking away from Applejack's stand when Dash comes up and talks to her.
>"Hey AJ, guess what!"
>"What?"
>"So I just had amazing sex with my TOTALLY AWESOME coltfriend, and I came four times!"
>"That IS amazin, surgarcube! I'm really happy for ya."
>"Yeah, only the best for The Dash. Most colts don't even past the first one!"
>You didn't know Dash had a coltfriend
>But that sex bit was TMI.
>Soon you are out of earshot.
>The next day you're walking to the gym wearing something "more modest"
>i.e.: gym shorts and a tank top instead of your regular clothes
>These ponies are kinda weird when it comes to clothes
>But you're definitely not /fit/ enough to walk around nude
>Pinkie pokes her head out from under a rock near the road
>"Hiya, Anon! Wanna play a game?"
>"Not now, Plenka, I gotta get to the gym.
>"Ooh, this will only take a few seconds. Look!"
>She picks up the rock and shakes it, several small trinkets falling out from somewhere underneath it.
>Her hoof quickly arranges them into a row
>Her hoof wraps around your neck and she nuzzles her face against you
>"Now, which one of these gifts will buy you the most love?"
>What?
"What?"
>"Which one of these will make a mare fall in love with you?"
"Depends on her taste, really." You shrug her off of you.
>>
>>29403232
>"Wrong! Wrong-wrong-wrong! The answer is none of them! Gosh Nonny, I thought you'd be smarter than that."
"Guess not. Welp, I'm off to go pick things up and put them down."
>You ignore her for the rest of the walk, since she's trying to steal your gainz.
>You stop at sugarcube corner for a protein shake afterwards
>You sit down in the corner with your shake and a newspaper when a couple poines come through the door
>Twilight and Fluttershy order and sit down at a table, stealing a couple glances your way
>They don't wave though.
>Almost like they're pretending they didn't see you.
>Twilight looks at Fluttershy and starts talking
>"Hey Fluttershy, did you hear about that stallion that cheated on his mare?"
>"Oh no, I didn't!"
>"Me either. Turns out the rate of infidelity in Equestria, according to the last four studies with a sample size greater than 500 couples showed it was less than one tenth of one percent!"
>"G-gosh Twilight, that's very common."
>Twilight coughs loudy into her hoof
>You swear you hear her coughing out a word
>"O-oh," Fluttershy says a little too loudly, "I mean that sounds very UNcommon. Almost never."
>"Yes, but thankfully for the both of us, stallions are still mostly willing to give us what we want the most."
>"C-cuddles?"
>"Anal, Fluttershy. Most stallions are still willing to do what their mares love the most."
>"O-oh. That's good. I wish I had a stallion to do the anal with me."
>Twilght facehoofs.
>>
>>29403246
>They each finish their donut and walk out
>Still not looking at you.
>That's weird, they're usually pretty clingy friends, always sitting close and talking to you whenever they see you out and about.
>You spot Caramel in the gym the next day, doing some kind of weird hopping and tossing pink weights to another stallion.
>Fucking crossfit, can't even escape it here.
>You set your water bottle down next to the squat rack
>It's actually a squat-looking squat rack, since it's small enough for ponies. You have to use the top crossbars.
>Heh, squat squat rack
>A voice next to you makes you turn.
>"Hey Anon," Caramel says in a soft voice and places a hoof on your thigh.
>He mirin?
>He mirin.
"What's up, Mel?"
>"I just wanted to let you know that, even if I don't know what's going on with you, I DO know that everything will turn out for the best in the end, OK?"
"O...kay?"
>He smiles up at you.
>"Don't let it get you down. I'm here if you want to talk."
"Sure."
>He turns and walks back to his yoga mat, leaving you scratching your chin.
>The next day you're picking up a box of chocolates for Rarity, since she seems really stressed-out lately.
>So stressed that even sex doesn't seem to work at relieving it.
>For the last couple days, it seems all of Rarity's friends have become much more concerned with relationship drama and sex.
>The mare behind the counter smiles at you and rings you up.
>"Aw, buying a buddy a pick-me-up?"
>You raise an eyebrow.
>>
>>29403251
"No, I'm buying these for my marefriend."
>"Oh, I'm sorry. We get a lot of business for and by colts here. But don't worry, I'm sure a mare like Rarity would appreciate them, too."
>You frown. Would she?
>"Oh, don't be scared. Mares here in Ponyville are quite kind. There's really nothing to worry about."
"I'll, uh...keep that in mind. Thanks."
>As you exit the shop, you notice a few couples sitting in the outdoor dining area of the cafe across the street stop looking at you and turn back to their partners.
>Everything suddenly clicks into place.
>Shit.
>They all know something you don't.
>Something's wrong.
>Judging by the common theme, there must be something wrong with your relationship with Rarity, and she just hasn't brought it up.
>What did you do?
>Have you been 'there for her'?
>You thought you were listening to her pretty well.
>Her birthday is in exactly 47 days.
>You met her two months ago. You won't forget the date when you first asked her out.
>She's exhausted every time you're done having sex, so that can't be it.
>>
>>29403257
>You must have done something wrong, then.
>Some kind of horse-faux-pas.
>Oh, who are you kidding, she wouldn't tell you or even bring it up, you have to figure it out!
>You can't ask her either, since if you don't know, that's even worse!
>You'll have to stop by the flowershop after you pick up that super-rare fabric from the post office.
>You ordered it to keep it hidden for just such an occasion when you messed up again.
>Like that incident with the shirt.
>You can't be that careless again.
>You can't lose a girl--mare like this.
>She's one-in-a-million.
>You'll never find another one like her, not even here.
>She's your waifu, and you can't lose her.
---
And done. Thoughts?
>>
>>29403172
Good stuff, friendo.
>>
>>29403261
http://pastebin.com/TQjnJfxX
>>
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>>29403261
I do enjoy thing. Misunderstanding but well meaning pones a cute.
>>
>>29403261
Nice re-do; much better. Misunderstandings is practically RGRE's middle name.
>>
>>29403446
Thirsty Misunderstandings RGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>29403261
This is probably actually a sign that you can write well, considering them trying to be over the top and deliberately heard by him and being less than effective in getting their own point across is the goal

but fucking hell is some of what they are doing/saying fucking cringe worthy. I can't even bring myself to keep reading some of it.
>>
>>29403261
This needs to be seen through to the conclusion.
>>
>>29403179
>>29403261

>The big guy is, well, a big guy!"
>>"For you

This revision is already +10 points

>'fourplay'
This pun is really good too.

Uh-oh. The writefags' guild over comes me:

Lots of really good improvements all around.
I love almost all the new gags and characterization.

The conversation was better, not that it was that bad before.

Making Twilight enjoy strong black coffee and Rarity hate that is that ideal little bit of extra that really sets a scene. And The old mare reacting to bits she couldn't help but overhear in the quiet cafe too.

In fact, You may have even gone almost too far with descriptions and attributions. It was mostly good writing and helped, but the extra lines started to interfere with the pacing of the conversation.

"Pacing" is such a slippery concept and aesthetic criterion, everyone's likely to have different opinions. But I think, given what you show here, as you practice you'll readily develop an intuition for what's the right amount of description you need to add.

Some individual lines did a little awkward or forced. I think most of them just needed to be trimmed a bit. Like this line for example;
>Twilight's coffee-breath wafts over to your side of the table, and you use the excuse of waving off her objection to fan your own face.
This is too long for the small thing it conveys. You could condense it a bit. (and a great general rule: if you can say the same thing in fewer words, it's better writing.)
Something like:
>you take the excuse of waving off Twilight's objection to fan her coffee breath away from you

I have mixed (but mostly positive) feelings about the full expansion you did of the implementation of Twilight's plan.
>>
>>29403811
On the one hand, it's good content. The Twilight and Fluttershy one slew me particularly. Though, while I appreciate the variety, something seemed a little off about Pinkie's bit. She does seem like the type who would go direct like that, but when it has to be this short the encounter feels a little hollow. Maybe if you interwove it with Anon ordering something at Sugarcube corner?
On the other hand, I think I might have preferred the pacing of the former version. Going into a more "pulled-out" sense of scale, with Anon just describing things that have been happening ties together better with such a "telling" ending message.
I think you could actually combine them very well with a couple simple changes. Have Anon's section begin, right off the bat, with him thinking that suddenly Rarity's friends have become more concerned about sex and relationships, then go into each of those as vignettes that he's remembering.
>First there was that thing with Rainbow and her TMI
>you'd been walking away from AJ's stand when Dash came up and talked to her
...
>and then when Pinkie had asked you those weird questions while you were on the way to the gym
Blah blah blah
>Now that you think about it, every pony in this town has started doing it
[caramel]
[couples sitting across the road]
>Maybe a lot more than that now that you're looking for it
Then the ending where he starts thinking about what to do.

So let's see, there were a couple lines that were a little hard to understand.
>>"but I've talked with Anonymous before about sexual dysmorphia of his species, and the mares are actually smaller than him in most cases,"
Oh, for one thing, that should by "dimorphism"
>>
>>29398039
It was considered poisonous at times due to lead utensils which the tomato absorbed. That's what I was taught in a history class once anyway.
>>
>>29403815
(dysmorphia would be mutation or malformity.)
It feels like there's supposed to be another contrasting statement somewhere in here, explaining that even though human mares ("women") are still smaller than human stallions ("men"), they're still much larger than ponies and could conceivably be a physical threat to Anon. (Of course, she wouldn't understand that woman on man physical abuse in the human world mostly happens because the man lets it, for social/legal reasons; which adds another layer of dramatic irony for the reader.)

>You stir some honey into your own tea, only the sounds of your spoon and the wriggling of Pinkie's plot on the cushioned bench to compete with them.
What's "them" here? Looks like a revision artifact.

I love the addition of Rarity's necklace as an example for the gifts thing. I feel like a maybe be a line of the girls reacting to it might be worthwhile before slipping to the oral thing.

>>"Common courtesy requires asking to do something other than what we would consider vanilla."
This is a little odd to read, and in more than just sperghoers ways. Maybe just replacing "we" with "a partner" would be enough.

One of my large complaints, the bits around this are a little confusing:
>"Yes, Twilight, but he was asking at every single step!"
Between that and what Rarity says next it's hard to form an impression of what she's describing. It sounds mostly like they'd finished, and were snuggling, and Anon asked if next time they could try something more, but then clammed up and Rarity had to beg for ten minutes for him to admit an interest in anal.
I'm not sure what the 'steps' Rarity refers to are supposed to be, unless that statement is supposed to be attached to another thought, maybe about how Anon obsessively asks for permission to do any little thing with her.
>>
>>29403822
This is my personal taste, but I think there should be at least one mare at the table who mentions something about how they don't see the appeal of anal, even if they know a stallion being nervous about asking is obviously a sign of damage. Demonstrating a spectrum of tastes validates the reality of these characters as characters.

I think that's everything important.

So anyways, bang-up job. Great to see leaps of improvement even at the point where you've gotten past beginner level mistakes.
Whether or not you actually want to change anything based on what I've said is for you to decide based on how you feel your time is best spent. Personally, in your position, I'd maybe make a couple of the changes in that "hard to understand lines" category just for your pastebin, and then either start on a continuation, or start a new green.


So as a side note, not about yours specifically, but about the "muh human stamina" trope in general.
If sex for ponies normally lasts a minute or two at most, shouldn't sex for 30 minutes be something that, for a human woman would be like being pounded for seven hours straight? Just to get your partner off once? I mean, fun for a special occasion if they have the viagra, but if a race isn't biologically adapted for (to them) marathon sex, shouldn't it just shortly turn into numbness and probably end in nightmareish chafing?

I guess the main difference is that even if the time scale of sex is different, the time scale of the mind isn't; boredom could easily come in 7 hours of the same thing, 15–30 minutes isn't enough.
>>
>>29403837
Regarding the stamina bit, most sources I've seen say that actual penetrative sex only lasts 5 minutes on average (give or take a few minutes) IIRC, and what makes it take longer is mostly foreplay, changing positions/losing the rhythm, and that kind of thing.
>>
DD2
JAGOG
Bugbutt
Where are they?
>>
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>>29403940
They're dead Anon
They're fuckin' DEAD
They're ALL DEAD
>>
>>29404131
Um... I just found 2 writerfags from other... thread.
>>
>>29403940
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>You are a bugbutt and are headed to Ponyville.
>News is that ayylmaos landed there.
>You want to check that shit out.
>Sounds cool as fuck.
>Train is going choo choo around you.
>Passengers are all totally buying your disguise.
>Not in the mercantile sense, you've learned that lesson long ago.
>You are not losing your new "Definately a legit pony 100% real" shirt.
>Replacing the previous one was a major pain in the ass.
>Fucking Queen Cheeselegs and her cuntery giving black folk everywhere a bad name.
>"Would you like anything dear?"
>The stallion with the tea trolley is here.
"Yes please, could I have some tea and a whiteberry muffin?"
>"Of course, that'll be about tree fiddy."
>About this point is when you realised that the tea stallion was a Loch Ness monster.
>But you want your snack so you hoof him four bits and get fifty bytes back as change.
>The Loch Ness monster stallion gives you your order on a tray and then moves along down the train.
>You arrive shortly after you have finished your tea, but still have a bit of muffin left.
>You continue to eat it as you leave the train and look at the town map affixed to the station wall.
>You don't see any signs of alien stuff marked on it, so you decide to go ask somepony if they know about local alien sightings.
>You go to the ticket booth and ask the pony there.
"Excuse me, I've heard there are aliens here, do you know where I could find them?"
>"Sure sweetie, check the town library. I've seen them around there a lot."
"Thanks for the help, bye."
>"It's no problem helping a cute thing like you."
>You go back to the map and figure out how to get to the library.
>Then you leave the station and go to the library.
>It's a huge tree.
>How rare.
>>
>10
RGRE is dead.
>>
>>29404899

Keep bumping, I'm gonna post soon
>>
>>29404899
Then why did you bring it back?
>>
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>>29404909
>>
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>>29403647
>>
Can we all agree that Fluttershy is worst pone in RGRE? Her lack of assertiveness and confidence is incredibly pathetic in the dominant gender. I'll bet you anything that she'd only put up a token resistance if another (better) mare came along and took her stallion away from her.
>>
>In RGRE, it's fairly common for mares to mount and hump their friends to assert dominance
>Anon is friends with some mares, he acts so marely that they kinda forget that he's a dude from time to time
>Rainbow Dash and Anon get into an argument, and it gets pretty heated
>Dash feels like she's being challenged for dominance
>Mounts Anon and quickly remembers that Anon has a dick
>She goes on the run, terrified of being thrown in the dungeon for rape
>Anon doesn't realize how serious the situation is and thinks it's funny
>He tells his other friends what happened
>An arrest warrant is put out for Dash, and some of Anon's friends hire a bounty hunter to bring her in for justice
>>
>>29405115
Ok Anon, Let talk about RGRE Fluttershy.

>He lack of assertiveness
>Confidence
>Incredibly pathetic
>Dominant gender
>I'll bet you anything
You're a misanthrope, aren't you?
>>
>>29405115
I hate to say it, but I kinda agree with this. Keep Fluttershy in Flutterrape.
>>
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>>29405115
You're forgetting that her major trigger is for anyone to go after who she cares about.
So another mare could go around and embarrass her all day long, but the second they looked at Anon Flutters would snap.
>>
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>>29405143
>misanthrope
>>
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>>29405143
Dammit Anon.
>>
>>29405149
>>
>>29405143
>misanthrope
....I hate humans because I think Fluttershy is worst pone?

What?
>>
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>>29405143
>>misanthrope
THAT GOOD! Because...

THIS!
>>
>>29405183
>Level Up
70 inch long penis yaaaa.
>>
>>29405189
>70 inch long penis
>edgy

70 inch you can't not even move the fucking Human body. imagination a dick is a tail, a fucking longest tail in the equestria.
>>
>>29400106
"Okay, maybe this is a little deserved, but I still think it's a bit much. Can't you solve this in a somewhat peaceful manner?"
>The group of stallions returns to their huddle once more
>"Well, I suppose we could, and it probably would've been a better idea, but it's a bit late for that now..."
>Hindsight is always 20/20.
>"No, Anon, I'm afraid we can't do this peacefully. We're committed to revolution!"
"Then I don't want any part of this."
>"W-what?"
>"No!"
>"Anon, please!" says Taurus. "You're our figurehead, our spark! We need you!"
"This is insanity, even if there's good reasoning behind this!"
>They go back to their huddle and talk once more, this time in a borderline angry way
>Taurus faces you again
>"Anon, I'm sorry, but we can't let you leave. Can't you see that all those stallion out there look up to you? They risked their lives to save you, and you're just gonna leave them! No, we can't let you do this. They have no sense of direction, or what to do next, now that we've saved you. We need a strong leader whom people trust, and whether you like it or not, that job falls to you."
>God damn it.
>The stallion who flew you here was blocking the way out, and the other stallions in the room were slowly approaching you
>"Join us Anon.."
>"We need you!"
>"Joining us is the only option!"
>"Help the Vox, help your fellow stallions!"
>Shit, shit, shit!
>You quickly look around for anything you can use to defend yourself
>You grab one of the chairs next to you, and the raise it over the stallion blocking the door
>"No, Anon, wait! AGH!"
>He tries to raise his wing to block your blow, but you smack him to the ground anyways
>"He's gone mad!"
>"Stop him!"
>Right, you're the crazy one here.
>With the pegasus stallion out of the way, you grab the door and yank it open
>You jump outside, and as quickly as possible you use your weapon-chair to barricade the door
>You can hear the stallions shouting on the other side
>"Anon! You're making a mistake!"
>Sure.
>>
>Well, that was close.
>Now that those stallions are taken care of, you focus back on what's happening outside
>The crowd is still strong, but it's looking like some of them are having second thoughts.
>Finally, is their insanity wearing off?
>"VOX TAURI! RELINQUISH YOUR WEAPONS AND RETURN ANON TO US IMMEDIATELY!"
>What?
>Oh, shit
>You guess the Crystal Empire finally realized how much deep shit they were in, because Celstia's Royal Guard is starting to show up.
>This is fucked.
>You've gotta get out of here while you still can
>You don't want to be handed over back to the royal family or to the Vox Tauri
>With one look back at the ensuing chaos, you run towards the farmland surrounding the city
>You were so screwed...

>It's been a few hours since you entered the crystal farmland
>You encounter a farmhouse run by mares (obviously), and the stallions here didn't seem to care about the revolution happening.
>You approach the stallions outside while they're hanging up the laundry, and while you startle them at first, some explanation as to who you are and the situation you're in convinces them to help you
>"Both sides only want to use you! That ain't fair!"
>They go to explain to their mares, and while it takes some convincing, the whole family agrees to help you
>"Aight, Anon, if you're to survive in the wilderness, I'm gonna need Maria here to explain some stuff to ya and show ya how it's done." says one of the mares (who appears to be the leader of the household)
>>
>>29405192
>70 inch you can't not even move the fucking Human body. imagination a dick is a tail, a fucking longest tail in the equestria.
Did you finally get your moral compass reconstituted?
>>
>>29405208
>While the stallions pack you supplies and make you some clothes (you're still in your boxers and a t-shirt since the Vox took you while you were in bed), the daughter of the head mare, Maria, teaches you about wilderness survival through the course of several days
>As a pornstar, you didn't really know a whole lot about that, but she's a good teacher
>She shows you what plants are edible and which aren't around the crystal empire, and how to build fires to keep warm
>You really sucked at making fires, but when you finally figured it out you were elated
>You'd been trying for at least 2 hours with Maria sitting by you wearing a bored expression, and occasionally giving you the same tips and instructions she had been giving you for the past 2 hours
>Eventually, you get a spark, and ignite the pile of leaves in front of you
"HOLY SHIT! Maria, look, I did it- Maria?"
>She was sound asleep.
"For fucks sake.."
>"Wha-whazzit? Oh, OH! You did it Anon! Uh, hooray!"
>You weren't gonna let that get you down, though, and you learn a load of other things from Maria
>By the end of your crash course in survival, you'd learned how to buld a shelter and fire, how to keep yourself warm, and what to eat out in the wilderness
>And you'd become good friends with Maria too
>But your absense from the Crystal Empire hasn't gone unnoticed
>Both parties know you're not there anymore after a few days, and that you can't have gone too far
>>
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>>29405218
>Their scouts force you to leave Maria's farm a little sooner than you'd like, but you don't have a choice
"Maria, I can't thank you enough for what you and your family have done for me.."
>"Aw, it was nothin', Anon! You're welcome back here any time if you ever get that chance."
>You leave around midnight, about 4 days since leaving the city
>Maria had told you that if you wanted to hide, the Crystal Mountains would proabably be your best bet
>The stallions had made you warm clothes, and your bags are packed with enough food to last you at least a week
>The whole household waves goodbye as you walk away
>You really have to remember to pay them back if this situation is ever over
>But first thing's first, you need to survive.
>>
>>29405228
Here's the updated pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/cRBn1ihu

That's all for now, lemme know your thoughts and how much I'm sucking right now
>>
>>29405192
>>29405189
You have to be 18 or older to post on this board
>>
>>29403261
I love the new content, and I want much much more of it.

But I'm going to be all contrary-like and say I liked the original version of the conversation. I thought it was fine. This new version just seems padded out and herky-jerky. Everyone griping about the original seems to have overlooked that there was literally nothing important going on to describe.

And as you can see from other comments, they're still not satisfied with your efforts. I'd recommend you tell them to fuck off and stop trying to micromanage your story. But that's just me.
>>
>>29403261
The part with Fluttershy was adorable.
>>
>>29405404
>Everyone griping about the original seems to have overlooked that there was literally nothing important going on to describe.
Yeah, let me stop you right there. It doesn't matter if there isn't anything important going on in the background, you still need descriptors to flesh out the scene and the characters otherwise it's dull and you might as well be reading from a script.

The new version is much better.
>>
>>29405234
It's going pretty good pham, keep it up I'm interested in seeing where you'll take take this
>>
>Anon spends his free time at the park giving local foals rides on his shoulders
>He can do this because RGRE
>Mares everywhere "HNG"
>>
>>29403811
>>29403815
>>29403822
>>29403837
thanks for the detailed critique. I'll definitely keep these points in mind next time I write a green. I don't know if I should get a trip and a real pastebin just yet, since what greens I do wind up writing can be very, very different from each other.
>>
>>29405839
I'd HNG too because adorable foals everywhere.
>>
>>29405920
>Anon likes playing with foals so much that mares think he's baby-crazy
>Some mares feel cautious and uneasy as they think, "If I tapped that, he'd probably want half a dozen foals from me."
>Others feel anticipation at the same thought
>>
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>>29405979
>>Some mares feel cautious and uneasy as they think, "If I tapped that, he'd probably want half a dozen foals from me."
Well...
>>
>>29405979
>he'd probably want half a dozen foals
>half a dozen
you trying to low-ball me? as the only human in equestria I'll cement my legacy with fathering a thousand descendants.
>>
>>29406049
And I'd do my damnedest to remember each and every one of their names and personalities.
>>
>>29405979
Why would most mares want babies at all? I thought this was RGRE.
>>
>>29406064
it may be rgre but they still have that ticking biological clock until their ovaries dry up
>>
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Need more QT bug autocrat.
>>
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>>29406125
Would take violently from behind.
>>
>>29406061
>>29406049

>no mare wants to date Anon because of his desire for excessive amounts of foals.
>>
>>29406210
An entire towns worth, the size of ponyville.
>>
>>29406064
many men want big families
it would make sense than a rgre mare would do as well
>>
>>29405979
Expect NEET mare.
>>
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>>29405979
>If I tapped that, he'd probably want half a dozen foals from me
I want to ground my waifu with a thousand foals
>>
>>29406020
I'm so needy.
>>
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>>29406384
PERPETUALLY
>>
>>29406125
>>29406139
>"I'm waiting for you to feed me your love, Anon~"
>Chrysalis squeaks in surprise as Anon cock-slaps her across the face
>>
>>29406393
She'd probably be like Spitfire. Unwilling to take a single day off from work even when she's carrying Anon's eight kid.

>My mother did not raise a loafer!
>>
>>29406094
Horses do not undergo menopause. They stop having foals only when they're too old to support a pregnancy.

Get to it, help Granny Smith give Applebloom a baby uncle.

(The current best hypothesis for why any animals undergo menopause is to prevent a female from competing too much with her own daughters; the basic adage of evolution is that the one who has the most grandkids wins. The way herds work among horses handles competition instead.)
>>
>>29406408
I'm imaging her struggling to play her cello because her baby bump keeps getting in the way and it's adorable.
>>
>>29406449
I'd love to see a picture of this.

She's trying different poses and becoming increasingly frustrated. Then she gets her telescope bow or something.
>>
Trading post,
>>
>>29404201
Just because some faggots use their names to post random shit doesn't mean its them.
>>
>>29406398
>>29406139
I want to bully the Lovebug.
>>
>>29406493
I can confirm BNW in a different thread so they might be telling the truth.
>>
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>>29406563
>you will never sexually bully the lovebugs
>>
>>29405234
Fucking nice job, both sides were shit.
>>
>>29405115
>>29405158
She doesn't have to *personally* stand up to another mare and threaten her or anything.

Instead, homewrecking mare will find that Mr. Bear and company will be making her an offer she can't refuse. Or they just stand around growling menacingly, because only Flutters can into aminalese.

That's if she's lucky. If she's unlucky, Discord gets involved.
>>
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>>29406821
>implying any of that would be needed
>implying any stallion wouldn't just attack her mouth right in front of any uppity mares and suck her tongue
shes an element of harmony
she was an actual model

besides thas what id do
>>
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>>29404582
> be programmer
> 100 bytes in a bit
Pic related
>>
>>29406020
In rgre, mares are frequently caught lying about not being on the pill.
>>
>>29407018
"You're not... angry?"
Anon couldn't be happier.
>>
>>29407018
thats not reverse gender roles that just reguler gender roles.
>>
>>29407018
>In RGRE, it's the stallions who take the pill
>>
>>29406210
>Anon has the largest herd known to Equestria
>Twenty mares, who are all perpetually pregnant
>There are finally enough ponies in the Apple Family to run the farm
>Expand it, even
>Every foal in school has him as a father
>He sires a bunch of colts, even more than regular ponies
>They almost have his stamina and sex drive
>Mayor Mare (also in his herd) increases taxes to make the school better, and higher more teachers
>Everyone is ok with it
>Cheerilee (also in his herd) moves classes to the Crystal Castle and Twilight (his alpha mare) lives her dream to be a teacher
>She has to expand the town to accommodate their needs, and all the jobs they'll need when they get older
>Five generations and nearly 26,000 foals (each mare in his herd had six) later, you can still tell the descendants of man apart from regular ponies because of their incisors.
>>
>>29407637
>Five generations and nearly 26,000 foals (each mare in his herd had six) later, you can still tell the descendants of man apart from regular ponies because of their human cock and balls
>>
>>29407678
subtler
>>
>>29407333
>mares want to carry foals more than anything
>used to being yelled at for it
>Anon runs away
>so he can get a ring[/spoiler[
>>
>>29407637
>>29407678
>all his descendants are somewhat feared for their human/pony mix in both biology and mindset
>they're also seen as more exotic and attractive lovers
>>
>>29407754
ctrl+s broski
>>
>>29406955
Kek

>>29406588
>>29404201
What other thread?
>>
>>29406955
oh right, because it's the other way round
>>
>>29405471
>It doesn't matter if there isn't anything important going on in the background
Let ME stop YOU right there. The original was sufficiently fleshed out where it needed to be. Too much "fleshing out" just makes everything flow weird. When there's nothing else in the scene going on, flow is literally the most important part. It needs to read like an actual conversation is going on, and if there's no good place for a pause to take place, then putting one there is the absolute wrong thing to do.

I'd rather read a scene that's "boring" than one that's constantly being awkwardly interrupted every other line to remind me that, yep, the characters are still talking to each other.
>>
>>29407831
>The original was sufficiently fleshed out
No, it wasn't. It suffered talking heads syndrome, there was no life or fleshing out.
>>
>>29407796
Let's just say it was on trash and leave it at that.
>>
>>29407637
>increases taxes
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>29407951
>>29407831
In this particular case, I think the correct answer is in the middle. The first version of the conversation, despite having good dialogue, was too bare, creating talking heads syndrome. The second went a little too far in correcting it, harming flow and pacing.
>>
>>29407338
Er, no but I worded it badly. I mean mares claim to not be on the pill but they are.
>>
>>29408110
oh, carry on then.
>>
mares occasionally tune out anon's talking to think about his butt
>>
>>29408110
>pill
>You're Lyra

>He sees you when you're sleeping

>He knows when you're awake

>He knows if you've been bad or good so be good or else he'll smash you like a garbage bag full of blood
>>
>Celestia had a hardcore predator fetish.
>It's no use because she's the most powerful being in the world.
>>
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>>29408379
>anon is ignorant of this
>satisfies her need to be 'hunted' and dominated
>is completely unaware she's powerful enough to break every bone in his body or flat out vaporize him
>she has to bend over backwards to prevent him from finding out and ruining her favorite fantasy of being a weak, easily dominated mare
>>
>>29408379
>tfw Anon is a predator only in name
>Can't hunt; isn't aggressive; isn't all that fit; doesn't know how to fight
>Celestia is disappoint
>>
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I regret reading this.

Examples of views the every author shoves down our throat through the story:

- men should have huge penises
- women have to be social
- selfishness is necessarily bad
- selfishness always leads you to hurt others
- loving others unconditionally leads to an ideal situation
- Faggot-who-enjoying-been-a-dog burn in hell
- if others hurt you, hurting them back makes things right
- never forgive those that hurt you and never move on
- deviant sexuality is terrible
- being gay is terrible
- porn is evil, and those who use it deserve to have their balls mutilated
- if someone has been mean to you in the past, psychological torture and
character death are totally fine
- Random Drunk
And some out-of-story views:
- if someone disagrees with my story I'll punish them by altering my story
- if someone critiques me, it is bad, rather than a chance to grow
>>
>>29408464
what
>>
>>29408464
Well, I literally can't disagree because I don't know what you're talking about.
>>
>>29408464
This isn't a single story thread though....did you go through the effort to make this comment in the wrong thread? Its okay to admit it, it happens to everyone sooner or later.
>>
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>>29408464
And this is why you never get off the coat "supplements" in a gym. You don't know what they put into it.
>>
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>>29408464
wut
>>
new thread time!
>>
>>29408527
WOOOOOOOO! Hope the guy that makes it doesn't mess up.
>>
NEW THREAD

>>29408534
>>29408534
>>29408534


>>29408530
I had forgotten to put in the title until I read this.
>>
>>29408538
Looks good mare, you did your mother proud.
>>
>>29407678
>>29407637
>>29406472
if you guys knew that pony names influence their cutie mark

what would you name them?
>>
>>29408494
No it's sadly a new shit poster on every thread.

Same pic as well.
>>
>>29408426
>Isn't fit
Get out.
Thread posts: 511
Thread images: 104


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