Let's have a feels thread
i want to fucking die
>>29385649
Me too.
Take me to the great below and keep me there
Everything you know will fade away once.
>tfw no colourful quadraped equine gf
>>29385649
My friend takes Zolpidem Tartrate OD as the instructions say it can cause coma and death, all he got was super high. Figures with a drug that has a ''sucess'' rate in suicide of 0,5%
That friend obviously isn't me.
>>29385631
>>29385653
>>29385649
>tfw would have commited suicide years ago but theres a few people that care about me and I can't just throw my life away because I know it would hurt them
Goddamn it.
>>29385819
You know what pisses me off? LSD and ketamine can act as instant antidepressants in people, like, there's research ongoing for this. So why the fuck do psychiatrists not try these instants first, and when they fail, go to the regular ones that need ~6 weeks?
>>29385819
>tfw have the exact opposite reason to not kill myself
>tfw the only thing keeping me alive is my petty grudges against people who either are still pursuing me, or have moved on and their last thoughts of me were nothing more than "whatever" at best
>tfw I have no idea what's worse
They call it the "easy" way out, but it sure as hell ain't easy for us, huh?
>>29385901
The real easy way out is being passive. Which is what depression leaves you at.
>>29385905
I'd rather kill myself than be anyone's bitch.
Oh wait.haha im a comedy genius
>>29385819
I had three instances where I nearly nade an attempt closest one was when I walked like six miles home. For no reason. Bus takes me home. I did it to find anything across those miles that could kill me. I've found a bridge and I stood on its ledge. Until I remembered that at home important people are. So I just walked home.
I started seeing a psychologist recently. Unfortunately she is rarely available.
Sorry for venting. I feel fucked up.
>>29385631
LET'S FUCKING NOT, YOU FILTHY BAG OF SHIT.
>>29385631
I often find myself becoming extremely aware of my surrounding, being paralyzed by my own senses and consciousness. It gets to a point where nothing feels real, so out of touch with reality my past memories feel like they belong to someone else and I've become a mere outsider inside my own body..
It sucks having panic attacks every time I try to meditate too, it's all so crazy.
Bum
Hearing the rain in the darkness and solitude, it's calming despite it all
>>29388687
And the sequel.
>>29388687
>>29388691
Do you know why her cutie mark is a candle
It's an interesting fact, really
>>29388716
Not really, no.
>>29388723
I will tell you, Anonymous.
Lighters cost money. Money that NEEDS to be spent on more crack.
Someone you know has candles, though, you just need to find them and ask for one, two, skip a few.
It's easier to hold the pipe over a consistent candle that doesn't move with your shaky hands.
Lighting a candle on the stove beats looking around your sty for a lighter that isn't dead.
>>29388748
*consistent flame
pardon
>>29385631
On a small bright side, being such a depressed fuck meant my focus on getting gud at art has increased. If I spend all day drawing I don't have to talk to anyone.
>>29388822
That Pinkamena one of yours?
I used to be pretty depressed. It started when i moved from home and started college. It wasn't really because i missed family or so, but the fact that the constant lonliness gave me so much time to reflect upon myself and everything i wish i could change, or redo. I also didn't hit it off with that many classmates, so i ended up spending most time alone in school as well. And since i didn't want to look like a misserable fuck by eating lunch alone every day (though some classmates sometimes would ask me to eat with them when they saw me alone, it always felt so uncomfortably forced. Like it was merely out of pity.), i always ate inside an isolated underground toilet. And it didn't really get better when my mom called one night and said my dad had passed away out of the blue.
But in all honesty, it's looking up now. Even though i'm failing Uni pretty hard atm, i've either grown numb to that feeling of failure, or i've learned that there are more important things in life than school/job and high salaries.
>>29385667
I love that song..also my favourite band ...good ol inky...how i miss that blog, gosh
>>29389257
I'm sorry about your father anon.
I can totally relate to your situation in school, and although I have no solution to it, it always helped me to act as if I were confident and happy. Others would be more likely to speak with me when I didn't drown in self-loathing and hid in the toilet (which I did a lot). Also that faked mood would slowly become natural, so I didn't have to fake it anymore.
And if someone talks to you and invites you to sit with them, do it. Even if it feels forced. Get out of your comfort zone and practice acting around people.
>or i've learned that there are more important things in life than school/job and high salaries.
There are definitely. But you have to decide that for yourself and try to find a good balance that makes you happy.But what do I know? My life isn't any better.
>>29385631
Not pony related but the ending to Valiant Hearts was heart wrenching
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anKqBK_Rxss
>>29389379
Can I ask what song? I am super big fan of NIN myself, Trent Reznor brings out the biggest feels.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AipYaev9DVI
>>29390107
Fucking awful game to play, but damn if watching it doesn't make me cry.
>>29388822
Is that your draw? I actually have that saved.
>>29389402
Thanks anon. Feels good to unload once in a while.
>My life isn't any better.
No better chance to get it off your chest than now.
What's bugging you?
>>29385819
The greatest thing holding me back is how I know that once everyone finds out that I've killed myself, I'd just become an even greater disappointment and the butt of every joke, even moreso than now.
As it is, I'm isolated and ostracised and nobody wants me around, but when they learn that I've taken "the coward's way out" I'd just have confirmed their expectations that I'm just the useless trash of society that expects others to clean up my mess. Or in this case, my equally useless corpse.
I guess I wouldn't be able to care about other people's opinions if I was dead, but just the thought of being hated even moreso than I am now is weirdly suffocating.
>>29391700
What's you status in life right now?
Age?
Career?
Cleaned or messy home?
Living on your own?
>>29391666
I'm taking a year off from studying right now to think about what I even want to do, but 6 months later I still have no clue because I basically have no hobbies or interests other than being a closet horsefucker. Haven't left the house for 3 months now.
I'll move out this autumn, but I'll probably run right against a wall because I have no idea how I am supposed to manage my life on my own.
I'm 20 and I don't know how to do groceries. I'll just have to force myself to learn it I guess.
>>29391725
Sorry man, but I don't know if I want to sound even more pathetic than I already do.
>>29392352
I always feel a tiny gleaming bit of hope everytime i read this
>>29385901
I know that feel anon.
>>29392052
I'm a teacher who hates his life and is barely holding it together in front of all his peers and students. I'd hang myself if I didn't have a couple kids I was worried about following suit.
>>29392590
I think it's great that you care about your students and don't want to set a bad example for them.
Is your job as a teacher related to your depression? If yes, maybe you should change something up there. Or you could seek professional help.what's your favourite poner?