Magicless Anonymous

>>29366938
Can you bring me back a shirt this time? I already have enough hats.

>>29366982
You're getting a snowglobe, and you'd better like it.

>>29366938
"But Twilight, you don't understa-"
>"Anon", her Purplest Rudeness interrupts you, "we talked about it already. It's just too dangerous to let you go with us."
"Twili-"
>"I know that you want to help, but you're too fragile in this world."
"Liste-"
>"Don't worry, everything will be fine."
"Just let me finis-"
>"Anon, please stop this. I just want you to be sa-"
"TWILIGHT!"
>"Anon! Don't you know it's rude to interrupt somepony when they talk?"
"Well about that, maybe you let me tell you what I came here for? Can you not bring me back anything this time? I have no more place to put all the shit you guys bring me from your adventures. The amount of magical artifacts in my house is getting ridiculous."

>>29367626
>Twilight thinks Anon is so weak she brings him magical artifacts like the Alicorn Amulet
>Eventually he gains more strength than every pony in Equestria
>Donning ten rings, four amulets, two bracers and six wristbands on each wrist, he demands Twilight to acknowledge his power
>She pets him on the head and says "Silly human."

>>29366938
>Fuck you Twilight, I'm going to go create my own magic Wizard Academy with Blackjack and Dark Arts!
>But,Anon!

>>29366938
>not using image from >>29312104
You fucked up, OP.

>>29367626
Kek, didn't see that one coming.

>>29367906
>Anon starts his own wizard academy as a joke
>his teachings are actually useful
>he never understands why and tries to do even worse
>just does even better and takes Equestria into a magical renaissance

>>29369675
Oh, cuntfag, you're back! Please stay this time and call me degrading things! It gets me so hard when you call me a retarded fucking cunt!

>>29369717
Oh yes! More please~ I'm edging so hard right now~

>>29369736
Oh, daddy's giving me the silent treatment. Mmm... so hard right now...

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>>29369675
Fuck off, neo-barneyfag.

>>29367846
>>Donning ten rings, four amulets, two bracers and six wristbands on each wrist
So, a negro, basically?

>>29369856
But anon, you have no magic in equestria, how are you going to solve this problem?

>>29369856
Arnyfag, you can come to aryanne thread if you want. These butthurt niggercucks would not know quality shitposting if you punched them in their fat cunt with it

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>>29369856

>>29369999
checked

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>>29370016
>I-I'm not crying! Y-you are!
Uh-uh.
I'm not the one going to the ponyfag board to specifically rant about ponyfags.

>>29370117
Look, John. We all know the whole Cortana thing has been hard on you, but you cant go around taking your anger out on other people.

>>29370237
Isn't hating on MLP a dead meme yet?

>>29370338
Be nice to the retard, he's trying really hard to be mean.

>>29370343
>>29370338
>>29370237
>>29370117
>>29370016
>>29369999
>>29369856
>>29369913
>>29369771
>>29369736
>>29369727
>>29369741
>>29369717
>>29369696
>>29369675

I'm fucking LMAOing at all your lives right now. Holy kek you faggots are gay as shit.

>>29369671
"...And that s how i think magic should be used"
>You re Anon
>And you just finished a 30 minute speech about how magic should be used
>Sure it was a bunch of nonsense but you had to do something to convince them
>You re pretty tired of being left behind
>So after getting 'the talk' from Twilight you immediatelly started about magic in the friendship room
>Table
>Whatever
>Point is that in thevend you pretty much said that you should do magic with your heart and not your mind
>Of course Twilight was less than amused at the attempt and Dash even got some Z's
>But Rarity seemed totally into it and even looked like someone who just got out of an inspirational meeting
>So when leaving she stopped by you and told that she d give your theories a try
>You really hoped this was an easy problem now...

>>29370456
>Its been two weeks
>Owlowiscious is fed, the castle is crystal hue clear, and the bubble bath is ready for whenever they get back
>Like everyday before
>You re totally not worried, nope
>Its not like they never took this long before right?
>I mean its just 4 more days than their longest adventure ye-
>You re interrupted from your thoughts as the door blasts open
>A rush of relief fills you as everypony comes inside talking among themselves
>You re about to greet them but as Rarara sees you, she tackle hugs you to the ground
>"Oh Anon, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Um what happened?"
>"Well, turns out your speech really saved us in the end" - Fluttershy says
>"Yeah, I wouldnt mess with Twilight now that she s using magic the right way, it was like AHH and then BAM and later it went KABUM and then-"
"Okay Pinkie i get it, it was nice, i dont understand how i fit in though"
>"First of all it was not nice, it was so awesome" /)^3^(\
>"Pinkie, Dash, please, it was just a mere 75.8% increase in my magical output efficiency, its not like i can do the spells with half of the strain from before"
>"Maybe for you darling, but for me everything feels just so much easier, almost natural even"
"Uhh hello? Still lost here..."
>"Well long story short, friendship is a kind of love for another individual and even though we ve used the magic of friendship before we never thought of it like this, instead we kept using the tested scientific method by using cataclysts as we processed the spell and-"
>"I think he understands Twilight, point is, your lecture opened our eyes to it and we appreciate it"
>Rarity is visibly more collected now from her thanking frenzy

>>29370501
>"Yea, not like we had to be in mortal danger for Twilight to agree to give it a try"
>Still pretty hard to believe all this shit they re throwing at you though
>Wait, did Dash just say mortal danger?
>"So tell me Anon..." - Twilight begins
"Huh?"
>"What else do you know about magic that you are not telling us?"

>>29370446
What did you honestly expect coming to a board full of horsefuckers? I'm on the clock for a ban anyway. I could spam this thread with horse pussy at any time.

>>29370507
"What? That's impossible. It couldn't have worked. I pulled that straight out of my ass."
>"So we have to touch butts?"
"No!"
>"Rarity, rub your flank against mine."
>"Oh my, I can already feel my magic getting stronger!"
>"Me too. This is amazing."
"What have I done?"

>>29371255
Its beautiful anon

>>29372037

Boob

>>29371255
>what next anon!
Well next suck on my magic rod till the white empowering cream fills you!
And be sure to swallow to get it's full effect

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>>29369671
>>29370456
>>29371255
>>29373706
>Prompt inside a prompt
>People make a green with a open ending and make a prompt out of it
>It just keeps happening
This was not supposed to be lewd, it was supposed to be cute and funny, what are you doing?

---------------
>"Anon..."
"Yes Twilight?"
>"That s a dick"
"And?"
>"Oh Twilight, i say we trust his words again darling, afterall what has he done to harm us so far?
>"Well..."
>"Exactly, now if you dont mind"
>With that Rarara went on to take your entire shaft at once
>Not even halfway done, her horn started leaking some glistening liquid the same color as her magic
>And with that she fell to the side panting
>Looks like she couldnt finish the job before being done herself
>You dont think she should be glowing either
>Something purple appears on the side of your vision as you see Twilight making her way to you
>"Fine i ll give a try, unicorns arent supposed to glow like Rarity is so there must be some truth to it"
>Diferently than Rarity, she starts slow and start building up
>You can see she s being cautiously optimistic but the feeling is noneless amazing
>As she starts to moan you lose control of yourself and grab her horn to keep her head in place
>She s already glowing, brighter than Rarity too
>You release her horn when you fisnish, but she keeps in place
>You can feel she liking your member as to not let anything out
>When she s done she releases it with a loud plop, only to see everyone looking at her
>"...What? It wasnt that bad, even a bit salty too"
>"N-no Twilight just...are feeling alright?" - Fluttershy interjects
>"Just peachy, why?"
>"Lets just say you re a bit..."
>"...different" - Pinkie finishes for Dash

And that s how real alicorns are made
But that was before they learnt that doing that everyday twice for at least a week would allow them to become Super Blue Haired Alicorn 5

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>>29374025

>>29348170

>”This is a bad idea,” mutters the stallion as you clear his livingroom of furniture.
“It’s fine. Get the salt.”
>”No.”
“Get the salt!”
>He almost jumps out of his hair and retreats to his kitchen to get a bottle of the stuff.
>After a minute, he returns with much more than you actually need.
>Alright, next you have to make the spell zones.
>Cracking open the bottle, you carefully pour it out and form two circles--one large enough for you, and one for your picture.
>”You’re not going to cut yourself, are you?”
“This is black magic, not blood magic. Calm down.”
>”Wait, that’s a real thing?”
“Forget you heard that.”
>Unicorns are fucked up.
>Right, so all you have to do next is connect the circles with a thin line of salt and get to work on the symbols.
>In the meantime, you have Greymane recite the spell to himself to charge it up.
>”I don’t see why I can’t just ease into it.”
“Because it has to be done all at once. If we ‘ease into it’ there’s the chance my soul just slips into the air and then I’m fucked.”
>”You’re kidding.”
“What did I say about following my instructions exactly?”
>”Ok, ok. Fine.”
>Thank goodness this is salt and not chalk.
>Having to berate Greymane led to a small screw up on one of the symbols that you’d have a mighty hard time fixing if it was anything more permanent than this dust-like substance.
>When all’s said and done, you place your picture in the small circle and lay down in the larger one.
>Craning your neck, you double check that the lines are at least a quarter-inch high all around and that no symbols have spilled over.
>All good on the left.
>All good on the right.
“Let’s go.”
>”Are you sure about this?”
“More sure than I’ve been about anything my entire life.”

>>29375772

>It’s so close now.
>You can almost taste it.
>When this ritual is done, you’ve only one more hurdle to leap before it can all be yours.
>The stallion approaches your circle, his horn humming with power.
>It’s not as spectacular as Twilight’s, but it’s still respectable for your average unicorn.
>In grade school, that is.
>What’s important is that it’ll get the job done.
>”Alright, here I go. Any second now.”
>Your body tenses up.
>You can feel the hair on your face stand on end.
>A warm feeling spreads throughout as your heart begins to pump faster.
>Just like he said. Any second now.
>”In three, two, one.”
>Is it done?
>Was that all?
>Oh, neat. You don’t feel much different at all.
“Thanks, Greyma--”
>Wow nelly!
>Oh shit, it’s like pulling from those trick electric gum packs except all over your body!
>Cock sucking Christ!
>What’s that feeling?
>There’s something welling up in your chest.
>It’s like something is trying to get out of you.
>You swear there’s a hand pushing against the inside of your chest.
>It goes through without too much struggle.
>Then it just keeps flowing out like a river of warm energy.
>You can feel it slide against your skin, leaving you feeling cold as if it were taking all your heat with it.
>Then, in another second, it’s gone.
>You jump up off the floor and look over to your picture.
>The salt circle around it has changed color from white to a dull green.
>The picture itself is jittering around, surrounded by what looks like electricity.
>Obviously the ritual isn’t done yet.
>You wait patiently as the energy is seemingly sucked into the picture and everything dies down.
>Ok, now is it done?
>Should you grab it?
>Hesitantly, you reach out of the circle.
>No death yet.

>>29375784

>With a little more confidence, you lurch over and take the picture into your hand.
>It feels hot. That is, as hot as a person.
>You, on the other hand, are quite cold, accentuating the heat of the picture.
>”Did it work?”
“I think so. Do I look different?”
>”That depends on what you mean by look different.”
“Are there any physical changes?”
>”None that I can see.”
“And let me guess. The other difference is how you see me as a person?”
>He nods.
“Save it then.”
>You stand, your knees creaking as you do so.
>You got what you wanted. No need to stand around here to hear some pedantic rant about how “oh, Anon, bla bla bla feelings you’re a different person now waaah”.

>>29375795

>”So that’s it? You’re just going to leave?”
“Of course. I have things to do and it’s not like I can do them here.”
>”I help you, and you just walk away?”
“What do you want me to do? Sit down and hold your hoof while we watch a some chick flick on the TV?”
>”I don’t even know what that is.”
“Bye, Greymane.”
>Next stop: Twilight’s castle.
>The funny thing about her huge home is that it sprang up out of the ground, yet sits firmly on a solid stone foundation.
>This means nothing was taken from the earth when it was created. By extension, that means it’s magic.
>No, not in the sense that it was created with magic, but that it IS magic.
>By your best guess, anyway.
>You depart and sprint off to her place, making sure the picture is safely in your pocket.
>Should you start referring to it as your soul?
>No, that sounds stupid.
>“My soul is in my pocket” is definitely the cover to some death metal album.
>Arriving at Twilight’s castle, you sneak around, careful not to make a sound until your foot lands on what might be the driest, loudest branch you’ve ever had the misfortune of stepping on.
>Luckily, it doesn’t seem like anybody heard.
>Now where is the back of this place?
>Opposite of the front, of course.
>As you wrap around the other end of the castle, you see that it is very jagged.
>Another lucky break. This must be a sign that you’re on the right path.
>Now, you probably don’t have the muscle power to just snap a piece of crystal off of such a huge structure, but what you do have is a rock and that’s good enough for you.
>You pick up the hefty stone out of the snow and hoist it over your head.
>Having located a rather long chunk of crystal that looks nice and snappy.
>Heave, ho!
>Wham!
>The stone collides with the crystal with the force of a stone hitting a crystal.
>It cracks under the impact and falls down into the snow.
>Wonderful.
>You pocket that thing and make off like a bandit.

>>29375802

>She doesn’t need all those crystals to yourself.
>You need this one more than her.
>This is essential to your plans.
>You run across town, all the way back to your cabin, and burst through the door.
>Piles of books topple over as you rush through the place, ignoring the carved paths, and make way to the kitchen.
>You knew it was a bad idea putting the file in the same drawer as the cheese grater.
>Searching the cupboard, you quickly realize that while they may be in the same drawer, you have no idea where that drawer is.
>Let’s try the next one over.
>Nope, that’s all spoons.
>Why do you have so many spoons?
>Ok, next one.
>Will measuring cups help you? Yes, actually.
>You leave those out on the counter and move over to the next drawer.
>There you find the file.
>Leaning over the counter, you carefully begin to shave off the end of the crystal you’ve borrowed from Twilight’s castle.
>Hell, you’re not giving it back. This is stolen.
>Whatever. You shave off the end of the crystal you’ve stolen from Twilight’s castle.
>The dust falls neatly into the measuring cup which, when you’re done, is filled with water and then transferred into a pot to boil.
>While that comes to temperature, you begin to clean off your chair and get some other items, such as a piece of charcoal from the fireplace as well as a mirror, and disrobe.
>Your shirt is thrown into a corner, as well as your expensive sweater.
>They’re both torn by now so it doesn’t matter.
>Using the mirror, you draw the symbols markings pulled from Starswirl’s journal onto your left pectoral.
>The charcoal scrapes against your skin but leaves behind the desired symbols.
>Oh fuck, did you do this backwards?
>No, wait, you’re good.
>Almost gave yourself a heart attack. Can you even get those anymore?

>>29375815

>If you did, what would happen? Your body would die, of course, but what would happen to you?
>Your soul is trapped inside a picture now. Would it go on, or would it kick the bucket with your body?
>Maybe you didn’t think this through as much as you should have, but you’re too deep in now to look back.
>The time to ponder your life decisions comes later.

>The pot should be ready now.
>Maneuvering through the landmines of book stacks littered throughout your dark living room, you make it to the stove and check inside the pot.
>The contents are boiling.
>Bubbling?
>It doesn’t look too hot.
>A quick test with your finger proves it doesn’t feel hot either.
>Weird. Anyway, you pick it up off the stove and bring it over to your chair, setting it down on a tower of books nearby.
>Now is for the hard part. The decision.
>What do you want first?
>Maybe something that’d be easy to grasp. How quickly could you wrap your mind around magic missile?
>Not very fast, you imagine. It in itself is a complicated spell. You’re also not too sure on the arrangement of the runes.
>For that matter, you’re not sure about the arrangement of any runes.
>You still don’t know if your spell worked on Twilight, but she’s still alive so chances are that--if she cast it--you haven’t made any “kill me now” spells.
>Oh, you know.
>Yes, that’s a perfect choice.
>You easy yourself back into the chair so you’re more horizontal and dip your finger into the pot.
>It soaks up the magical liquid and becomes the tool which you begin to mark yourself with.
>This particular ritual calls for solid magic to be applied directly to the object.
>Since you don’t have the means to write with solid magic, you figure some liquid magic courtesy of Twilight’s special castle will do nicely.
>And since with your soul gone this body is technically just an object, everything should be fine.

>>29375824

>No need for panic.
>Probably.
>You begin to write on yourself inside the large black circle on your chest.
>The runes are made very carefully.
>Every few strokes, you have to get some more magic marker onto your finger.
>Because it’s so light, you try to really layer it on each rune.
>The process is painstakingly slow, but you don’t want to mess up.
>Thankfully, you can still at least see what you’re doing as your eyes have adjusted to the dark.
>Alright, that’s one down.
>Onto the next rune: power.

>>29375829

>After a minute, you’re two thirds done with the whole thing. Just one more rune and you’ll have written what you hope will be your first successful spell.
>Two more strokes, and “Done.”
>You’re done.
>That’s it. That’s the end of it.
>At least, that’s the end of your part. Now the spell has to work.
>When will it start?
>You sit there in silence, patiently awaiting something to happen.
>So far all you notice is yourself getting goosebumps because it’s only forty degrees in your house.
>Wait, what’s this?
>The marks on your chest come to life, dimly glowing in a shade similar to Twilight’s aura.
>Does that mean it’s working?
>It must have
>It must have just been a delayed reaction since you used liquid magic instead of solid.
>Soon they grow warm, then warmer.
>It feels like leaving yourself pressed against an electric stovetop as it powers on.
>You begin to shuffle in your chair as the temperature rises.
>The runes are hot now. No, very hot.
>You grit your teeth as the sensation radiates out from your pec, taking over your whole chest.
“Fuck!”
>There’s a fire right against your skin! There has to be!
>The runes glow brighter and brighter, keeping pace with the burning that creeps through your body.
>You fall out of the chair and onto the floor, writhing.
>A series of small shouts and grunts escape your lips.
>Jesus fucking Christ, this is going to be the end of you.
>You’ve made a horrible mistake.
>You open your mouth to ask for help, but all that comes is a long, drawn out scream.
>It feels like there’s lava pumping through your veins.
>Somehow, you still have enough control over your body to claw your way across the floor and to the front door.
>Please be open.
>Please be open.
>Please be open.
>Oh thank fuck.
>You’ve managed to push the oak door aside, letting a wall of icy air hit your scalding flesh.
>Not that it does anything.

>>29375837

>Outside. Get outside.
“Ahhh! Aw fuck! Ahhhhh!”
>Your chest illuminates the way to a snowbank that you pull yourself into.
>Desperately, you try to bury yourself in the snow.
>Nothing seems to be able to combat the horrible burning that has become your being.
>You fucked up.
>You did something wrong. That has to be it.
>Oh god, you’re going to die here.
>No, you won’t. Your soul is outside of the body. Your body is going to die and you’re going to be trapped inside a picture.
>That’s just your luck, isn’t it?
>You don’t know how much time passes as you lay in the snow wishing to be dead.
>It could have been minutes, but it felt like hours.
>Much to your surprise, the sensation comes to an end.
>Slowly but surely, the heat retreats.
>It crawls through your body, making way back to your chest.
>Every part of you that the fire leaves is suddenly attacked by the ice you’ve settled into.
>The sudden change in feeling is jarring.
>Finding the strength within you, you push yourself out of the snow and fall back onto your ass just inside your house.
>The molten magma hidden within your chest cools down, leaving just a smudged charcoal circle and some purple looking runes.
>Ok, let’s get one thing settled here.
>Are you alive?
>Well you’re still breathing and your heart is still beating. From a medical standpoint, yes, you’re alive.
>Close enough.
>Now, what about the spell?
>You wipe your hand across the your chest, clearing it of the now wet charcoal markings.
>What’s left are the runes.
>Wiping with more gusto, you soon discover that they are not just sitting on your skin, they are your skin.
>You seem to have branded yourself with Twilight’s colors.
>That’s promising. All the pictures you’ve seen of spell bound items had their runes plainly showing.
>Perhaps this was supposed to happen.
>Does that mean you didn’t fuck up?

>>29375847

>Ok, let’s try this out.
>You should test the spell.
>By, you know, doing it.
>Ah, you’ve encountered your first problem.
>You have no fucking idea how to cast a spell.
>How do unicorns do it?
>They think about what they want to do and it just happens.
>Is it that simple?
>Well, it can’t hurt to try, you guess.
>Alright, snow. Let’s go.
>You hold your hand out ahead of you, aiming an open palm at the glistening snowbank you had positioned yourself in earlier.
>Think about the spell, do the spell.
>Think, do.
>You want the snow to move.
>So it will move.
>Maybe you’re not thinking hard enough.
>Well shit, how hard are you supposed to think?
>No, please don’t say that you STILL can’t use magic after all of this.
“Oh come on!”
>You smash your fists onto the ground.
“This is bullshit! After all of this, I still can’t do a goddamn thing!”
>You jump to your feet and give the snow a good kick, sending a small pile flying into the air.
“Stupid fucking magic! Fuck this gay earth and everyone on it!”
>The snow just sits there, mocking you with its nonreaction.
“You think this is funny? Huh?”
>Just think, Anon! Just move your hand!
>Wave it around like you don’t fucking care!
>You twist your body, swiping your hand through the air.
>From the ground erupts a huge amount of snow that follows your direction and soars into the starry night sky.
>Oh.

And this brings us to the next part of the story. What will happen now that /ourguy/ has learned how to harness the forces of magic? Find out next time in the next installment.
As always, thank you to the dear readers who continue to keep up with the green and keep the threads alive. I'm also happy that all the hints I've been dropping here haven't fallen on deaf ears. Blind eyes? Eh, whatever. As a show of gratitude, I'll leave this fully updated pastebin http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

>>29366938
But I am a wizard. Do you take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks?

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>>29375875
>What will happen
Anon becomes number one villain.

>>29375875
What happens when he runs out of room for runes on his body?

>>29376346
>you sneak around, careful not to make a sound until your foot lands on what might be the driest, loudest branch you’ve ever had the misfortune of stepping on

>>29376422
rune accessories?
>>29375875
Isn't he fucked if that picture is burned or destroyed if it contains his soul?

>>29375875
Hurry up and finish writing the next bit, slave.

post

>>29377626

>>29378352
>Anonymous 01/31/17(Tue)19:01:26 No.29378352▶

>>29375875
So is it safe to assume that ponies dont have souls?

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Waiting for anon to actually get into a magic fight and use an aegis reflector

>>29379132
I think the issue is that he spell bound himself to use magic but you can't spell binding things with souls. Unicorns just use magic regular