Princess Applejack

1 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
4 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15993073/
5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16130720/
6 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16246841/
7 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16379525/
8 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16501328/
9 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16610392/
10 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16662074/
11 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
12 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16868468/
13 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18413021
29 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18481892
30 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18584132
30.5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20580492/

50 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24759374/

100 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
131 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26966812
132 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27045491
133 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27091818
134 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27136045
135 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27192560
136 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27243315
137 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27268873
138: desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27308674/
139: desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
140 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27404496
141 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27463354
142 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27517724
143 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27582821
144 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27651717
145 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27704420
146 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27763205
147 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27830268

148 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27896537
149 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27955074
150 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28017167
151 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28064187
152 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28127177
153 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28180968
154 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28243103
155 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28293360
156 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28341301
157 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28386655
158 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28430382
159 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28472625
160 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28516835
161 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28560027
162 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28606503
163 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28650085
164 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28699834
165 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28747378
166 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28791420
167 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28818925
168 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28856603
169 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28902515
170 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28949840
171 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28987322
172 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29025369
173 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29070987
173.2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29108189
174 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29162287
175 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29162287
175.2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29185553
176 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29235097
177 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29275841
178 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29308797

Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:>>29308797
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:
http://pastebin.com/u/NSFT_NotSafeForTwo_

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

First for Chrysalis!

Bugs need love too!

>>29363085
You monster!

So I know we want this to be spikes shining moment, or at least amount to getting back into the groove, but is anyone else worried about us overcompensating in the other direction? That's what burned him out as it is.

>>29363056
>AJ gets adopted by Flim and Flams parents, and she's their sister

I... i kind of want this. Is there a fic like this?

>>29363118
Never seen one, but that does sound interesting.

>>29363101
What burned him out was AJ becoming her own character, not us trying to make him cool.

>>29363101
I'm not particularly worried about that, our writefags know their stuff when it comes to damn fine action sequences, and Spike has an innate disadvantage to him, so as long as he doesn't turn into Spikolo Thundercock and easily outsmarts and wrecks the others despite a host of disadvantages and become enlightened with a zen-like mentality(Which, I will admit, happened ONE TIME in the series, but we shouldn't focus on it as it was deemed NC) I think he'll be okay.

I'm more worried about it going in the other direction and him just being punch-bait to say "No really our villains are super capable they beat SPIKE easily! SPIKE!"

>>29363149
Which story was that?

>>29363227
The NC one? I meant the OnO match between Spike and Cadence when he aburptly became the firelord, we skipped ahead a couple days, Luna and Pennydrop were completely silent, and then he completely destroyed Cadence who had an elemental advantage and skills to boot before martyering himself in order to 'save the world'.

I know, but we all have our silly moments, let's not be dicks about it.

>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

"And I don't. Have you ever noticed that? You notice I never come bug you with questions? But you do it to me. You do it all the time. How is that fair? We live in an unfair world, and it's up you, the legendary hero of Equestria, to bring balance back to the force! The Question force! Bring balance Applejack!"

>Kay, you can ask a question.

"But if I don't then you can't ask one. It's foolproof!"

>Nope, goin' rogue.

"You were supposed to bring balance to the questions, not leave me in sadness!"

>Ah'll consider switching sides when Ah'm about to die.

"It'll fit your timing to a T, I'll admit."

>But Mah' question is, how are the gokart races scored?

"Run that by me again, I must have finally snapped and misheard you."

>The gokart races. Ya' know, the one with three prizes? How are they scored? Because Rarity lost this one time, and Ah'm telling you, she really should have one. Not sayin' the other's wasn't creative, but-

"I am a pony who sits atop Canterlot, literally the highest City in the court. I raise the sun, I spend my days speaking to the loudest and most demanding souls on the planet. I spend days, weeks at a time writing legislature, and I spend even longer just trying to go through my work. When, oh when, do you think I have time to oversee a children's gokart race!?"

>Huh. Guess that one was me being silly. Really, Ah' just wanted somebody to talk to about it-

"Because I only do it once a year, and those criteria are top secret."

>Come again?

"National security, Applejack, you can never know."

>Yer' messing with me, right?

"Maybe. Or maybe I'm not, and you can never tell the difference. You'll go through the day wondering, and-"

BACKFLIPS INTO THE SKY!

"It's all my fffaauuuuullllttt!"

Flipflipflipflipding!

>Ah' might need to ask her to see a psychiatrist, Ah've gone too far.

File: Tiny Pinkie tells big fortunes!.jpg (6KB, 143x199px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 143x199px

Ponka prophs!

>Pinkie finds out if this is the real life or it's just fantasy!
>Twilight is putting her hoof down no matter what the directions say!
>Applejack wants to know what happened to the doll!
>Dash can't go back in time but she can rewind the clock!
>Sweetie Belle thinks any landing you can walk away from is a good one!
>Blueblood is Mr Clean!
> Alterjack makes Coffee-Candy legal again, and she never could have seen the result coming!
> size difference fanservice!

>>29363344
>Second to last one

Yes.

Just yes.

File: HERESY!.png (265KB, 842x492px) Image search: [Google]

265KB, 842x492px

>>29363085

but not really. :P

>>29363403
I thought that was an Alicorn AJ pic until I noticed the stripe

Why must you crush my dreams?

>>29363403
Oh shit!
>>29363439
Uh, AJ has a stripe...

File: 1484511052197.png (1MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1920x1080px

>>29363439
...but it is though. You're looking to hard at the lines in her mane.

>>29363473
>Uh, AJ has a stripe...

HOLY SHIT HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THAT!?

File: 1485046840727.jpg (34KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 300x300px

>>29363403
Really close to the original, very nice! I like it!

>>29363403
Dem teeth!

>>29363403
Alright, I'll say whoever is best whoever, just stop with the glares!

File: 1482878417065.jpg (91KB, 900x500px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 900x500px

>>29363478
...

>>29363403
INTO THE WIKI IT GRRRS!

>>29363403
I feel like we're going to get waayyyyyy too much mileage out of this.

>>29363403
I like to think this is what AUJ looked like just before her descent to madness.

>>29363403
>AJ sees Big Mac in the dress

>>29363101
Not worried. If anything, I wanna see how this pans out.

>>29363252
Okay, now I'm intrigued. Archivers? When you have a moment, I think I seriously missed that story.

>>29363403
Damn it, my sides....

>>29363403
>Not really
>Implying a certain bug doesn't deserve ALL the love and some marchmalleys

That's some real heresy

>>29363623
>Okay, now I'm intrigued. Archivers? When you have a moment, I think I seriously missed that story.

Alright, I'll do it, but only for educational purposes. I'm not getting involved in who wrote what good or bad, I am only here to chronicle. The archiver must remain neutral, for it is code.

http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24160401/#24232731

>>29363634
You guys do fine work, go in peace!

>>29363403
I like how the application isn't when we are going to use it, but how often.

>>29363885
All the time lol

File: thumb.jpg (20KB, 156x250px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 156x250px

>>29363344
>>29363354
>Alterjack makes Coffee-Candy legal again, and she never could have seen the result coming!
Your absolute, clearly visible pandering is revolting, /pa/l.

>>29364490
Are you implying you don't like Java-mama? That's fine if you don't, just double-checking.

>>29364490
>>29364658
He hates Chrysalis though... Why would he pander?

>>29364658
I don't. I legitimately do not like her.

I enjoy Mamalys because her being that way was a long process she evolved into, after realizing she didn't have to treat her subjects like shit. She's hesitantly starting to accept her role as their guardian and something akin to a parent.

Coffeelys has always been a cheap, fast 'snap your fingers' way to make her biggest weakness become moot, with no sensible explanation, evolution or room for improvement. Coffee makes Chrysalis the perfect keikakudoori schemer with perfect rationale and extreme intelligence.

I hate it. And worse, it makes me hate that aspect of Chrysalis.

>>29364676
The one who did this thread's predictions wasn't PPAnon. It was someone who was nice enough to jump in, but with th caveat of 'there is something I want to see get done!'.

Obviously, that thing was fucking Java Mama. Yayifications! Grmbl...

>>29364709
>perfect keikakudoori schemer

Now see, that's were you are wrong, while she has everything shed need to be that, she also has the wisdom and commonsense not too.

>>29364890
It wouldn't be such a problem for me if it didn't flip turn around who she is and what makes her Chrysalis, effectively making her another character.

>>29364905
>It wouldn't be such a problem for me if it didn't flip turn around who she is

Buddy that was the whole point of the initial gag, to bother the other characters with how OOC she was being. But it turned into something more, it gave us a glimpse at her potential, a potential you and the others are only now seeing her beggining to realize. We knew then what you're only seeing now. Its why we never gave up on her. Its why we want to see unfiltered Java Mama a few more times before she's /pa/ safe for the rest of you.

We've gotten slower I think, since everyone is kinda taken up doing their own things... I suggest more random pony stories. More Cantie 1, Guard 3 nd Zebra 2. That whole thing

>>29365371
Those are mostly just commentary on what's happening though

>>29364990
>it gave us a glimpse at her potential, a potential you and the others are only now seeing her beggining to realize. We knew then what you're only seeing now. Its why we never gave up on her. Its why we want to see unfiltered Java Mama a few more times before she's /pa/ safe for the rest of you.

How bout we fuck off wi tha

A gag character of unironic "I am the smartest and super bestest" wears thin fucking quick.

And trying to shave off bits and pieces to make it "canon friendly" really doesn't do any story any justice.

Why, what we are trying to go for?

Chrysalis is the bestest and smartest than all the other characters in canon?

Yeah fuck off, the threads been running close to that line so many times before being yoinked away with the "Actually her keikakuckeeku falls apart" line.

Get rid of that yoink, and you've a got broken bullshit character who kills the story dynamic dead.

>>29363403
I'd still scratch her ears and give her a sugar cube.

>>29365371
OOCO
>SA
“Celestia’
‘AJ’
~~~

>If you wanted bubbles, there had to be easier ways.

“Yes, but none of the let me call you a cute nickname.”

‘It’s downright adorable is what it is.’

>I just don’t see why I had to do the run today.

“Because you used it all up last time.”

>Me and Applejack! We were both in the tub!

‘Yeah but you poured it.’

>You told me to!

‘And now Ah’ told you ta’ go get me some bubbles. Iffin’ ya’ were gonna draw the line, should’a drawn it sooner, now Ah’ think you’ll do anything Ah’ ask. Yer’ officially mah’ gofer.’

>I could draw the line now.

‘Well then, ya ain’t getting in the tub.’

>But I brought the soap!

“And now we have it, because magic!”

‘So we got everything we wanted, but in order for you to get what you want, you gotta play by the rules.’

“What oh what is it going to be?”

>… damn it.

SPLAHS!

‘There ya’ go.’

>You are so lucky I need to relax, it’s been a stressful day.

‘Ah’ll say. Speakin’ of, get ta’ rubbing.’

>WHAT!?

“We’re tired and achey, hence the bath.”

‘Ya’ think we did this just because? Well, not this time!’

“So we want rubbings, our shoulders hurt.”

>I’ve been running drills all day!

‘Looks like yer’ nice and strong then.”

>I feel like my limbs are going to fall off!

“We didn’t ask fer’ yer’ life story. get to it!’

“And make it good!”

>…You know, if Fourteen year old me ever walked in, he would be so confused…

>>29365605
Not the one you're replying to but we've had this discussion in the past, during the last four threads, I think where someone else figured Java-mama was all
>"I am the smartest and super bestest"
but she really wasn't. Just less brash, more thoughtful and more motherly. She was never shown as being smarter, just extremely pensive with thoughts like killing Two to preserve her reign (I believe is what that one story alluded to) and wondering if it would be so bad to show her underlings more natural care.

CD

>Jetset
“???”
_____

He watched them in silence, those unnaturally sharp eyes of his moving from one individual to the other, taking note of their posture, of their rank, of their mannerisms and their quirks, taking in any and everything he could.

Which, to his chagrin, was not much. Some of them were loud, others stoic and silent, a few were curious, and there was this one mare with the most haughty expression over her face as she gazed about the castle, like she was smelling something foul.

...Captains. All of them captains of their own guard, summoned from all over Equestria for a meet-and-greet.

One of them, fed up and yelling, was comically attempting to tear down the door to Pommel’s office, with each failed ram sending tremors through the rafters upon which Jetset was perched, seated comfortably.

From his neck swayed his shades, and every three seconds he twitched with the urge to put them on. It was a gnawing, almost physical pull, to know all he could about his target or targets, to be able to pinpoint any available weaknesses.

Eyesight alone only told him so much, and that left room for error and nasty surprises. With his shades, he would know it all, their names and standing, identify their fighting prowess through gait analysis, use facial recognition to get a read on their thoughts….

He grit his teeth with an annoyed sniff.

>This… is far harder than it should be.

He didn’t bother whispering. With him being high in the shadows and the current raucous down below there was hardly any need.

So it came as a shock when three of the captains looked up, directly at him.

1/2

>>29365980

>Ngh!

It was as if Jetset had been pushed by their gaze alone: he fell backwards in his surprise, and would have bashed his head on one of the many surrounding wooden beams if he hadn’t teleported.

The activation of his ability had been more instinctual than methodical, leaving no time to picture a clear destination when he vanis-

SQUELCH!

“Sweet merciful Celestia! Hold on hold on wait NOT THE-”

CRASH!

POMPF!

When silence fell and everything was still, Jetset realized he couldn’t breathe and began to scramble, planting his flailing hooves down and pulling until he could dislodge his face from between-

>Ah… shit.

-the very big, very plush, and very blue rear of Mrs Cupcake, who looked downright incensed and covered in what he realized was copious amounts of cake batter.

>…I can explain.

2/2

>Pommel
“77”
~???~
~~

>…Okay, wow, these guys are faster than I thought. Figured I’d have a couple days here.

The room was packed full of over a half dozen guard captains, or ‘cheifs’ or ‘sherifs’ as he’d come to find out since apparently there wasn’t a universal word for ‘top law enforcer guy’.

The guards from Fillydelphia and Manehatten were cheerfully chatting away. The ones from Baltimare and some place called Hoofington were over in the corner muttering to each other about something that made their eyes go shifty. The one from Las Pegasus and the only Sherif in the place from Apploosa were awkwardly shuffling, trying to find something to talk about, and finally the one from Trottingham was off by his lonesome, looking utterly lost.

>I guess punctuality is a high thing with these guys?

“When the princess calls, they come. I guess they assumed you were calling them for her.”

>Huh.

“You see the confusion, right?”

>Think they’ll be mad?

“Probably. Is this everyone?”

>Almost, we still need-

The lights suddenly cut off. From beneath the door, the only source of any illumination, a wisp of smoke began to rise. With a hymn of song and a strange choir kicking up, the room became bathed in a dull blue moonlight and music.

>This one.

With everyone on edge and ready to fight with all the skills they had honed as leaders of their profession, it came as no surprise when a loud clang, screech and thump rang out, and most of them jumped.

~Tssss…ahhhh….tss~

Confused, one of them hit the light switch, bringing light back into the misty room and discovering a new arrival in the room.

~Tsss…ahhh…tsss…~

One who was now laying on her back on Pommel’s desk and twisting in pain.

~Ohhhhh that was a bad slip… bad slip… ooohhhh…~

The room went silent for a while.

~…Ooohhh did not think that through… ohhh~.

>…So! Nice to meet you all!

It was going to be one of those meetings.

~Oooo… tsss…~

>>29366427
Swing and a miss.

>>29365989
NC
>Mr Cake
"Jet"
~~~

>...

"...This isn't what it looks like-"

>I KNEWWW IIIIIITTT!

>>29363403
When AJ has had enough of your bullshit!

>>29366427
Well done, Potsticker, I'm sure they already know you and all but still, what an entrance.

File: watering the big magic tree.png (386KB, 1280x853px) Image search: [Google]

386KB, 1280x853px

>Ah'm helpin'!

>AUJ
“AJ”
‘???’
~~~~

>What… what kind of asinine question is that?

“A legitimate one, Ah’m thinkin’.”

>Utter nonsense.

“Lack of a response is a response in and of itself, ya’ know.”

>…I can.

“Can? Can what? Y'all cannnn… talk? Well shucks, girl, we can all do that.”

>I can rgglbrlggrlg….

“Y’all cannnn… mumble? That’s great, a real top-notch talent for an aspirin’ princess’s repertoire, but that ain’t what Ah’-”

>Oh for fuck’s sake! Not for a long time, okay? Alright? Are you fucking happy now?

“Now, now, no need to get yer’ chaps in a tizzy, tain’t nothin’ to be ashamed of-”

>Shut! UP!

“-A’hm jus’ makin’ an observation that any pony wit’ eyes could, sugar. Yer’ an apple, we’ve established that much, that’s a fact ingrained in dirt… but y’all haven’t baked an apple pie in Faust knows how long. Ah’ mean, how do we know yer’ skills are still up to par?”

>Well excuuuuuuse me for placing running an entire country above my culinary prowess and the growth or decline thereof!

“Yer’ excused. Now we jus’ gotta fix that, we gotta get y’all bakin’ again, see what we’re workin’ with here.”

>You have got to be fucking kidding me.

‘I concur, darling, I’m sure your alternate versions pie is always nice and moist and ready to eat.’

>…

“…”

‘…Ahem. Only in the painfully glaring rays of hindsight do I see how that came out. And I stand by it.’

~Oooooh myyyy!~

>“SHADDUP SHINING!”

‘…’

>…

“…”

>Wait….

“How did he-”

‘Because apple pie is life, dears.’

~Diamonds don't lie!~

>>29365371
>Cantie
"Cantie2"
~~~

>So what do they do all day, do you think?

"Who?"

>The princesses, what do you think they do?

"Fuck."

>...Is that supposed to be a realization, or-

"No, they fuck."

>...As in-

"As in alllll night long."

>I see.

"Almost certainly, even. Just non-stop railing, all day and all night, BAM BAM BAM BAM OHHHH BABY!'

>I don't think that's accurate.

"You give me one reason six young, healthy, and active mares who are beloved by all and could have anyone they chose would decide 'hey, let's just never have sex, ever."

>I... okay, that's kind of a good point.

"And that white prince is married. Noooo, it makes total sense they'd go 'Hey, honey who I am legally wed to and obviously want to spend the rest of your comparatively short life with, let's never bone!"

>That'd be pretty dumb, yeah.

"So-"

>So, fucking.

"All the time."

>...I wish I was them.

"Join the club!"

>>29366924
White ponies know what's up.

>>29366924
Hah!

Doubly funny because shiny took time from his adventure just for that.

>Spike
"7"
'PJ'
(DT)
{SS}
~Daw~
~~~

>...Are we lost?

"This is literally a straight line!"

>I feel like we're lost.

"It's one direction, one!"

'Nah, I'm with Spike, I think we're going the wrong way.'

"That is literally not possible to do unless you go sideways up the wall!"

(I thought you changelings were supposed to have a good sense of direction?)

"We do!"

{I'm not seeing it, we managed to get turned around in a hole.}

"We're not turned around!"

~Maybe we should follow the stars.~

"We're underground!"

~See? There's your problem, no stars. That's a huge issue.~

"It's not an issue! We're not turned around!"

>How do you know? We could have.

"Because we're going down!"

>And?

"AND THE HOLE ONLY GOES DOWN!"

'That's what she said!'

(OHHHHH!)

{She got you there!}

~HA! That's classic.~

"..."

>Oh hey! The end of the tunnel!

'Looks like you were whining for nothing.'

(Pfft, figures.)

{Next time stop turning us around, we don't want to fix your mess up.}

~Always the crazy one in the crows nest!~

"...I want to go home..."

>Scardy cat.

>>29367155
...did 007 take up the buttnmonkey status?

>>29366940
Ha!

>SA
"18'
~~~~~
>WE DID IT!

"WE DID ITTTT!"

>We got the final piece of the puzzle!

"The last domino falls into place!"

>We've got all the information on who's buying what amounts of paper!

"We have our literal paper trail!

>We finally can find out where it all is coming from!

"Victory!"

>Success!

"We're winners!"

>WINNING!... So, uh... guess we have to actually start calculating?

"...Where's my abacus?"
~~~~~Two hours later.~~~~
>Did you carry the four there?

"I carried it. What's this number, a nine or a seven?"

>Nine.

"Did you-"

>No wait, you double counted here.

"Whoops. Guess I need to-"

>Yeah, just scratch that out and re-add these.

"There we go."

>This looking good?

"I don't know, I'm still looking at these."

>I already double checked those.

"Then why weren't they in the double checked pile?"

>That IS the double checked pile?

"No, it's the single checked pile!"

>I've been using it as double checked since the start, I started the pile!

"Well great, now I mixed in my single checked with them."

>Close enough.

"No, it's not close enough, if it was close enough I would just do it!"

>Alright, no need to yell."

"Sorry."

>....Do do dooo-

"And a do."

>...Did you already triple check that one?

"Yep."

>That's the main one, your pile should be done, right?

"Seems like it."

>Cool, cool... be with you in a sec...

"...hmmmhm..."

>...Done!

"Victory! Now, let's add it all together, put it on the screen, and... no."

>No...

"It... its can't be.."

>How!?

"Oh... dear... LOOOOOOOVVEEEEEE!"

>THEY HAVE TO KNOW!

"TO THE MYSTERY SCOOTER!"

>>29367194
He's been kinda put upon so far, yeah.

>>29367520
Fucking cliffhangers!

>>29366899
>AJ keeps watering the tree
>Thats the only reason it gave her the mind apple.

Brilliant

>Celestia
"Cadence"
'42'
~Spitfire~
~~~~

>...I can't.

"AUNTIE CELESTIA HELP!"

>I can't.

'I would also like some assistance. At some point, I imagined myself into thinking being pinned under her would be fun. It is not. This is not fun. I don't care what the books say, this is not fun.'

>I can't.

~Will you stop staring and help!? I've wrecked every power tool in the castle! All of them! My electric toothbrush is wrecked!~

>I can't.

"I WILL EAT YOUR WHITE-ASS GOOSE WINGS IF YOU DON'T STOP STARING AND HELP!"

>I can't.

'I would just take an attempt, to be honest.'

>I can't.

~I broke your chainsaw. There, I said it. I'm not sorry.~

>...I can't.

"'~CELESTIA!~"'

She turned around.

She walked out the door.

"'~...~'"

Outside, the laughter would not stop.

"'~WELL FUCK YOU TOO THEN!~""

>>29367947
I love screaming Cadence

Shiny is getting raped by rage when she gets out

>Spike
"7"
'PJ'
(DT)
{SS}
~Daw~
~~~~

If any had ever doubted that hole through concrete could be carved into with the upmost silence before today, they would doubt it no longer every day forwards.

A perfect mixture of claws and teeth made to tear apart gems far sturdier and a delicate application of changeling magic to hold off any crumbling bits of stone before they could reach the floor prevented even the most whisper quiet of sounds from reaching ears they so carefully hid away from.

When the final chunk of stone and foundation was ripped away, it was taken just as quiet as the very first crack in the defense, and the barriers to the corporation had been breached.

Silent hooves landed the moment it was open, keen green eyes already searching the entirety of the bathroom stalls before the last leg ever finished falling. Deft as a cool winters night, the cloaked shape ducked in and out of every stall to ensure no occupants remained, no cameras awaited them and no souls approached from the outside before he gave his signal. Right on cue, five more dropped down.

{OOF!}

Some lighter than others.

(SHHHH! Silver Spoon!)

Her hushed and angry whisper did not keep her from rushing to help her friend up, even if it was met with a cold shoulder that pushed her back, in an act that nearly sent her toppling over from the weight of the very rucksack that had caused her flop of a fall.

{It's your fault, this thing is heavy!}

There was no hesitation to assist, and just as little hesitation to push her away.

(Stop it already, let me help!)

{We can't both carry it, just let me.}

(I can hold it.)

{I don't need you to-}

"SH!"

The sharp noise was not well received, if the burning glare was any indication at least, but the pair of friends went quiet all the same.

>Any idea where we're going?

The changelings response was only to shrug, and peek as slightly as he could out the door and into the darkened hallway of the basement.

"Up, I'd assume."

1/5

>>29368272

'Wouldn't all the best stuff be down below? You know, hide it away?'

"Not necessary when you can turn giant sized and fly away. Being below ground is a problem for her, there's no chance all the important stuff is in a place she can't go full power inside of."

The dragon stepped forwards, slipping his head beneath the changelings and peering with him out the door beyond, finding just as little with his own search.

>Okay... here's what we're going to do-

~Burst out, go in guns blazing to scatter the little guys and lay into the big baddies? S'what I'd do.~

Most of them chose not to respond to that.

"We'll need more intel on the 'little guys' first. We need to see if they're acting of their own accord, or if they're being mind controlled. If it's the former, that will pose issues, but it's possible we could sway a few. If it's the other..."

Most couldn't bring themselves to respond to that either.

>We'll keep everything on stun, just in case. Hear me? Nothing lethal, we're not going to murder some poor shmuck who happened to get their brain taken over.

'Doesn't mean they're going to give us the same courtesy.'

The single claw of the dragon reached up, and flicked her right on the nose.

>That's why we're the heroes. No. Lethal. Stuff.

'Fine, fine.'

She seemed reluctant to release her hoof from the blade at her side, but it was not long before she acquiesced.

~She's right, though. You guys be prepared, if these folks are all twisted up here, then they're gonna be gunning for our heads. Don't go all out, but if you get cornered...~

She didn't need to finish that, the churning in more than one stomach alone was enough to show her point got across just fine.

>Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

'We're getting ahead of ourselves, it's possible they're doing this totally willingly. If that's the case, we could sway them, or if you know, we could deal with them as actual terrorists.'

2/5

>>29368282

A hole ridden hoof shot up, silencing the argument about to spill out and sow chaos and discord among the group.

"She's right, we are getting ahead of ourselves. We're on enemy territory here, let's find some information first, and then we'll worry about it."

>And how do you plan to do that?

The changeling smirked, before a wash of fire transformed the chitinous form into that of an average looking janitor with little to his name besides a nametag and a jumpsuit.

"I reckon' Ah'll be findin' mah em-ploy-ee-rrr ta' find a thing or two out. Ain't the smartest, no siree, but Ah' figur Ah' could find out if there's somethin' happenin' in the noggin'."

He had never stopped smirking.

>...that is the worst accent I have ever heard.

Until that, at least.

(Seriously, what are you doing?)

{You sound like the steroetype other stereotypes make fun of.}

~I could literally scream yarrr after every sentence and not sound like that.~

'You're a seduction infiltrator? You!? What, did you pretend to be a long lost family member and bank on the bar being that low?'

(You are bad and you should feel bad!)

He did.

"...I'm just going to go out there now."

>You do that, but no accent.

(I am not dying because you watched "Canterlot Hillbillies" one too many times and got your point of view skewed!)

The slight grumbles from the changeling, both in annoyance of their words and their cutting off of what he planned to be quite the exit, grew quieter as he slipped out into the hallway, and soon off down the darkened path.

They watched every step, until the changeling was gone, and all was silent.

'...Now what do we do?'

The remaining five looked to one another, honestly unsure. At no point in their planning, sparse as it was, had something like this ever come up.

>...Three million bottles of cider on the wallll-

(No.)

>It's something.

(It's stupid.)

>...I spy with my little eye-

{That's dumber.}

3/5

>>29368289

>Well, fine! What do you want to do?

~Okay, so there was this one time me and Pommel went to Trotslvania-~

(No!)

~It's really cool!~

(No, it isn't, it sounds stupid! You've tole me this a bunch of times already!)

~..I thought it was cool.~

'...Which Element of Harmony would you bang, if they offered?'

(What!?)

{SHHHH!}

(No, that's... I can't believe you just asked-)

~Twilight.~

(Seriously!?)

~Don't be judging my tastes, she's a damned fine mare and she would provide for our magical lesbian babies.~

(That's not what I meant!)

>Would it be creepy if I said Applejack or Rarity? I feel like that would be creepy.

(Yes! Yes it would be!)

>Because those are my answers, but I don't want to be creepy-

(What the fuck is the matter with you all!?)

'Yeah, why is nobody picking Rainbow Dash? Look at her and tell me she doesn't know a way around a rug.'

(That is not what I meant! It's worse, even!)

{Fluttershy.}

(Silver Spoon!)

{I stand by it, Fluttershy. That's my choice, and I'm not explaining any further.}

(Everyone stop it now! STOP!)

With smirks of amusement and more than one snicker and bump of an elbow, at last they stopped tormenting the poor filly.

(...Pinkieseemscool.)

Every single expression shattered like glass, and five jaws nearly hit the floor.

>What?!

(What? You know, I think that-look this is hypothetical-I'm just saying she knows how to use toys-notthosekindsImeantherpartycanonNOTHATCANNONTHEBOOMINGONE...)

As she dissolved into red cheeks and shifty eyes, everyone else grew silent.

>...This was a mistake.

(No kidding!)

If the past few minutes were ever revealed to the changeling far down the hallway, he would forever regret that he had missed a moment unlikely to ever come again in a thousand years.

But, for all he would regret, he would admit that in the end, it was worth it.

"...wow."

4/5

>>29368298

When he stumbled across the security guard lazily leaning back in their chair, balancing a cup of coffee on their chest and boredly flickering through screen after magical screen with their hind hoof, he let the smile come through.

When he heard a distinctly feminine groan of annoyance and boredom, a need for something or anything to do, he knew he had hit the jackpot.

"That looks boring..."

The security mare didn't panic, didn't even bother to sit up from her kickbacked lean at his voice. She looked at him without a single care in the world when he walked in to a door that no doubt should have been locked.

"...Want some company?"

He could almost hear the sound of the winning slots when she abruptly smiled wide, and rolled forwards out of her chair.

"Can't be too long, I'm on my lunch break, but you know..."

Time to do some information gathering.

"Plenty of time."

>>29368310
Cue sexy sounds!

>>29368310
>Dat banter

I love it.

>>29368298
>(...Pinkieseemscool.)
>Every single expression shattered like glass, and five jaws nearly hit the floor.
>>What?!
>(What? You know, I think that-look this is hypothetical-I'm just saying she knows how to use toys

STOP RIGHT THERE PEDOFAG

>>29368310
...so how do they deal with part that is brain controlled but part isn't?

>>29368298
>DT chooses Pinkie

Of course.

>>29368497
Hey man, she just knows the truth

Best is Pink

>>29368310
SEVEN YOU DAMNED FUCK

YOU'RE ON A MISSION PAY ATTENTION

>>29368643
He's just sticking to what he knows.

>>29368310
>Wait, why are we sending him in first?

"Are you familiar with the phrase canary in a coal mine?"

>>29367998
>Implying he doesn't want exactly that.

>>29369024
Ohhh myyyy~

>>29369024
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

>T-The vibrations! Too m-m-much! Ooooooooooh myyyyyyyy~

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!"

>The ferocity! Ohmahgawcdftggujnkohgfdsdghj!

>>29369054
>>29369055
Wew that's so lewd TG!

>Twilight
"Professor"
'Professor'
~~~~

'Ahhh! Princess, how wonderful to see you! I have a great many different spells I just know are going to blow you away-'

"She can out think the puffery talk."

'FUCK! We're screwed! I knew I should have been a dentist!'

>How did this happen? You all are some of the brightest ponies in the world, you should have been able to handle this!

"Welllll..."

'Look, we did! Especially when we first came in, all of us HAD to do something really cool to get into the big ponies club!'

"I made a new moving spell!"

'It's efficient!'

"But thennnn..."

'Well, I mean.. have you ever seen us show up when the shit hit the fan?'

>No. I would know, because I was there.

"Exactly! But does anyone call us on it?"

>...

'Also, when's the last time you saw us do something really cool with magic?'

>That's... a good question.

"Very rare!"

'We mostly just write shit on a chalkboard.'

>Sooo-

"And has anyone, especially the princess, ever called us on it?'

>...

"Yeeahhhhhh..."

'Kinda tempting...'

>...So it's all Celestia's-

~I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!~

>...
"..."
'...I think she knows.'

>>29369201
No matter where she is, she knows.

>>29368611
No need to think!

>>29363403
I see she's been taking lessons from Bulk.

>>29365371
>Pony 1
"Zebra 1"
~~~

>...

"...Is... is this racist just to reduce us to our names?'"

>Is it racist that you're not rhyming?

"Is it racist you're asking that?"

>Is it racist that I have to ask?

"..."

>...

"...this was not thought through."

>Nope.

OOCO
>SA
"AJ"
'Celestia'
~~~

>AJ! I have a mighty need!

"And ya' picked me over Celly... Ah'm gonna remember this."

'How could you!'

>Sorry, Celly! AJ is the only one who can satisfy this.

"Ah'm takin' this all in. Want you to know, Ah'm just taking it alllllll in."

'I have never felt so betrayed!'

>Not to say you're not amazing in a lot of respects, Celestia, but in this realm, Applejack is Princess!

"Mmm, yeah, lay it more on me. Ah'll take it all."

'My heart is breaking. Broken, even!'

>I'll help you put it back together later, I swear, but for now! Applejack... my need.

"Ya' know what? Not even gonna argue you on this one, you've earned it. You earned this, and Ah'm gonna just roll with it. Celly can watch."

'I don't want to see this BETRAYAL!'

>Then why aren't you looking away?

"As if we didn't know the answer."

'Well, she is pretty good at is.'

>See?

"She's accepted it."

'Heart. Broken.'

>Applejack?

"Alright, fella, hold on, bout to show you mah' moves... WHA-CHA!'

SNAP!

"Annnd, YOINK!"

SHOOM!

"And that's how magic happens."

'How!?'

>Because Applejack.

'No, seriously, how'd you get the kite out of the tree without ripping it? Even I'd rip it with my magic if I tried.'

"Did ya' not hear him? Ah'm Applejack."

>Damn. Straight. Kite!

'...So why do you suppose Twilight fell over and started twitching?'

>I don't know, but I hope she stops soon, I want to fly my kite with her.

"That gal ain't right."

>>29369760
Does this mean SHE had the lewd thoughts but not the other three?

>>29369993
Oh god we finally corrupted her.

>>29369201
So they just resting on their laurels without having to produce anything or give any meaningful contributions to any sort of work, and still got paid?

Oh god they do have tenure!

>>29369993
NC
>Twilight
"SA"
~~~

"Twili? What was that all about? The fainting, I mean."

>You wouldn't understand.

"Awww, come on, I'm your BBBFF! I'll always understand you, and you can tell me about anything! Give it a shot, I'll bet I could help-"

>Fluttershy has some japonies comics under her bed.

"..."

>They're uh... they're about-

"Say no more."

>Never speak of this again?

"Well, I mean, not unless you want to?"

>...

"..."

>...

"...Who's your favorite artist-"

>Ponmura.

"Patrician taste!"

>I'll never be clean again.

>>29370464
I can see it and it hurts.

>>29367998
>Shining getting power-raped by a pregnant Cadence.

Well fuck, I never thought this place would give me a new fetish...

>>29368310
Who do you think 7 would have e picked?

>>29370887
FS obviously.

File: 953032__safe_solo_pinkie+pie_animated_sleeping_alarm+clock_artist-colon-joeify.gif (60KB, 800x609px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 800x609px

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Twilight]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and some of us should be asleep to go to work!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!'"

[Hi hi.]

"Puffy Ami Yumi!"

'...show.'

>Anything is possible!

"We've grown so powerful!"

'Make yourself comfortable.'

[...]

'I meant NOW! SIT!'

[Oh!]

"Twilight did you wonder if you'd get taller now that you're a princess?"

[...huh I never thought about-]

>That's all the time we have now, but g'night everypony!

[Did you girls happen to-]

>"'Byyyyye!!!'"

Twilight wakes up.
[...I should ask Princess Celestia about that.]

File: 20161110011145-384.gif (46KB, 384x384px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 384x384px

Night thread!

>>29371881
Night Schmoe!

>>29371604
I'm pretty sure she is traumatized by you trying to ask a question at this point

>>29372226
AJ has broken her..

>>29372036
Morning not-schmoe!

>>29371881
God I just wanna tuck her in...

>>29363056
Where do I start in reading this junk? Is it all one continuous story or a huge collection of short related stories by various anons?

>>29373005
One continuous story by various anons

>>29373005
>Where do I start in reading this junk?

Thread 1 in the pastebin. It's a continuous story mostly made up of one shot sillies but occasionally it breaks out into massive arcs. Mostly comedy, but sometimes very dramatic and serious. HUGE cast. And, most important, NO ANON.

There is some varying quality as a result of it being comprised of multiple anons writing together and side stories that run concurrently with the main story, but it is glorious

>AJ
“AUJ”
~??~
~~~~

>GADDANG!

“Right? Ah’ was not expecting this.”

>YOU!? You’re the one who wrote these freakin’ things!?

“Ah’ meant the response. How are they so quick to call you around here? In my place it takes me over a day just to get a callback from half these guys.”

>What were you thinking!?

“That you said “Ah’m gonna do some politics!” and then you drug your heels.”

>That was three hours ago!

“And that there is three hours too late.”

>That doesn’t give you the right to call someone on mah’ behalf-wait, if you already got a response, when did you call them?

“Five hours ago.”

>Wha-buh-juh-you were talking to me!

“You have got to learn to multitask better.”

>When did you even-

“Ah’ just said it, multitask.”

>How did you do that while Ah’ was right-

“You aren’t very perceptive.”

>Ah’ just-look, we can worry about the details later-

“Story of yer’ life.”

>But right now you need to explain to me when exactly you asked the freaking Griffons over to renegotiate our damned trade agreements, of which we currently have none, Ah’ remind you!

“When?”

>Yes!

KNOCK KNOCK!

~Uh, Princess? One of our Wonderbolt Scouting teams has noted an airship heading our way, they just passed over the ocean… is that bad?~

>…

“That answer your question?”

>…Actually doing princess work is a lot more irritating than it sounded in the speech.

>>29373280
Politics round 2!

FIGHT

>>29373280
Fucking LOVE AUJ putting her hoof down and saying put up or shut up.

That's what I love about hee

>Cantie
“Cantie2’
~~

>OHHHH KAY!

“We’re in prison.”

>HOW!?

“Well, we know how, we got tased for stalkig the princess.”

>We didn’t stalk anything!

“Except we totally did.”

>That wasn’t stalking, that was following for relevant commentary! Following I say!

“..”

>I hate everything.

>Actarius
“Vekir’
~???~
~~~~

>Vekir! Thank you for meeting me again so soon!

“Vekir is only doing this for little bowl of tasty things on desk!”

>Of course, help yourself to the bowl and-

“NGH!”

>Brought that on myself.

“Pony speaks the truth! This was muchly the fault of the white pony and not Vekir’s own, so no charges may be filed!”

>I wasn’t going to file charges.

“Vekir suddenly likes you! Good pony!’

>Ignoring that. But Vekir, I feel like it’s time for us to finally strengthen some ties.

“…Oh?’

>Look, it’s not like the morlocks and changelings dislike each other, right?

“No, for Zhetri Thul is changeling… was changeling… and he was greatest!”

>Right! So there’s no reason for us not to get along.

“Vekir… also agrees, this is true.”

>So, I was hoping you and I could connect on a little deeper level.

“…Deeper?”

>Yes, I mean, you have stuff you want, I have stuff I want, we could really help each other out here, right?

“That… is true, Vekir has muchly she wants… in here.”

>Well, we could start in here, but we could always expand, if you’re willing to give more in return.

“…How much more?”

>I’ll keep it reasonable, come on.

“That is true, Pony is reasonable… and more importantly, pony was liked by Zhetri Thul!”

>That’s true, he did like me.

“Right! So it is not like Vekir would ever do it with just anyone, if Zhetri Thul thought pony was okay, maybe exception could be made.”

>Well, I would like to stand on my own merits, but I’ll take it.

“Hrm… and… and how long would this take?”

>As long as needed, obviously, nobody is planning to pull out too soon. I’m not a cheat and I’m not selfish, I’ll give as good as I get, so long as you’re willing to give too. Got to meet in the middle, after all.

“That… is tempting… and Vekir could get a lot…”

>Guaranteed!

1/2

>>29373756

“And pony does not care that Vekir is…”

>Hey, your stature is not an issue, I’ll treat you exactly like you were the biggest and strongest around.

“That is… nice…”

>Well? We could get started right now if you want to jump right in.

“…Well, maybe… maybe Vekir could let pony-“

OPEN!

~Hey, Acty? I’ve got the-~

“EEP VEKIR HAS TO GO RIGHT NOW AND DO THINGS TO-“

CRASH!

“SOMETHINGORothervekirwillcomebackwe…exy….ing…”

>…

“…what the fuck?”

>Huh, I guess she wants to think about the changeling-morlock trade alliance at first. Very smart mare! Never want to rush into these things.

“Good head on her shoulders.”

>Not sure why she used the window.

“I think she was afraid of getting stuck in the door again.”

>That makes sense.

“…”

>…She took my chair.

>>29373769
...did Acty just almost seduce Vekir?

>>29373823
Dem white ponies man.

>>29373769
NC
>32
~~~

>…Urge…to punch out of hell… RISING.

>Chrysalis
“Changeling”
~~~~

Another had arrived.

After the embarrassment that had been the last changeling to grace her halls, the Queen of all changelings was ready for things to get back on track. When her subject walked in, she was sure that she had achieved exactly that.

When he abruptly fell over onto his side and started twitching, she learned not to believe in things anymore.

>What happened to you!?

“H-hoooootttt…”

Did she secretly hope that the drink of water she splashed on the drone’s face would drown him? Only a little.

“It burrrnnns.”

Maybe more than that when the liquid only seemed to make things worse.

>Oh for fucks sake!

A couple rapid shakes did nothing, a lot of glaring did nothing, and thoughts of just chucking him out the window and calling next were not helping.

In the end, Chrysalis was forced to resign that maybe a touch of love would help him to get him back into the land of the living, and after what she would later admit was far more generous than was strictly necessary, he was blinking in confusion but thankfully not heat stroke or whatever had ailed him once again.

>I. Said. What. Happened.

She tried to seem intimidating, bared her teeth and made sure he felt the new heat of her magic in short little bursts, and his only response was more blinking.

“…Did you know that when you get hypothermia, it makes you feel really hot? I totally did not know that till right now!”

She would have called bullshit had this world not proven it was totally stupid enough for that to be a thing.

>You had hypothermia.

“Well, I mean, none of my limbs were blue... can you self diagnose hypothermia?”

Not if you have a hole in your skull, is what she wanted to say.

>Probably not.

“Oh. Well, I had that thing where I was really, really cold and then it got really confusing and super hot so I took off all my cloths.”

>Taking off your cloths is bad in the snow. I… I can’t believe I have to say this.

1/2

>>29374036

“Tell that to me when I have hypothermia!”

She no longer wished to make that hole in his head, if only because she didn’t want to cry when she saw the hollow remains.

>Did you at least make it to Maretonia?

“I did not, I stopped flying and had to abort.”

>…there’s... There’s train to take you there. Why did you try to fly to Maretonia when there’s a train?

The Queen was trying really hard to be calm about this, but at this point he had to have noticed the magic holding him in front of her was starting to squeeze.

“There wasn’t a train scheduled to go there until tomorrow, I guess they’re facing a conductor strike? Something about equal wages or health care or who even knows, Majesty, these ponies are weird.”

It was really not helpful visualizing his head popping like a grape.

>…then why didn’t you just go tomorrow?

“Because you told me to go today, and if the boss Queen says go, I go!”

She should not have cared about that.

She should have taken him outside, and then made him fly the rest of the way again, and not let him back in until he made it there.

She should have made an example of him by showing what happens to those who give up so easily.

She should have, she really should have.

“Sorry! I’ll make it the whole way next time!”

Instead, she just sat him down, and pointed to the door.

>Go get warmed up, and go tomorrow.

“Yes your highness!”

He couldn’t walk, that much was obvious when his face scraped along the ground as his front legs disobeyed, but he tried. He flopped with all his buggy might until he was out the door, and falling down the stairs.

>…This was better than the last one.

She admitted that to herself, that at least he wasn’t curled up and crying.

When she realized her bar was now “If you get there at all and don’t turn around without almost dying, you’re currently the best one yet”, she wanted to do that crying herself.

>This kingdom stuff is bullshit.

>>29374043
Chrysalis having her lofty and self important hopes and dreams getting a resoundly good kicking never fails to make me nut_

>>29374043
Mommalys is bestlys

>>29373938
You know he would.

Just BAM!

"GET AWAY FROM MY MORLOCK!"

>Pinkie
"Dash"
~~~

>Hey, Dashie? Have you seen Spike?

"Yeah."

>...Well?

"Well what?"

>Where is he?

"I don't know."

>You just said you saw him!

"Well, yeah. I've obviously seen him."

>So where was it?

"Lots of places."

>What does that even....

"..."

>Ohhhhh...

"..."

>...You get the Pinkie star, just this once.

"Ha ha!"

>>29374349
>Acty doesn't understand
>JJ just juggles him back into hell

>>29374680
....hey, guys? Did uh... did we ever explain JJ being able to phase through the ceiling back with the mob?

>>29374739
The power of love!

... I mean it has to be.

Because changeling.

>>29374043
>I'm going to be a good Queen!
*Everything goes wrong*
>Fine, I'm going to be an evil Queen!
*Everything goes wrong*
>I'm going to be a neutral Queen!
*Everything goes wrong!*
>...I'm going to sit quietly and not bother anyone-
*Everything goes wrong*
>WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEE!?
....*Everything goes wrong*

>>29374919
Bugs aren't meant to win.

>>29375091
Well, yeah.

They're already the most powerful species. To have them win as well would just be inexplicably cheap.

>>29375129
You saying that is hilarious when the show had them unequivocally win in the finale, and they only lost when even they became even prettier and more perfect bugs.

File: robouncare.jpg (7KB, 198x212px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 198x212px

>>29375144
>when the show
I'm gonna be honest, I haven't watched the show in God knows how long, since like season 3, I think? I only keep up with what I hear about in these threads.

And even if I did, I'd only look to the show for more settings and lore introduced.

>SA
"18"
~~~~

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...

"...It's.. it's going to us!?"

They'd looked, they'd re-read, they'd scanned and they'd number crunched, but it all ended up the same.

>It... it all makes so much sense now. Of course it went to us... because there's no one else for it to go to!

"WE NEVER MADE ANY LOWER OFFICES! We never made anyone down the ladder to handle this stuff, we literally just funneled everything up to us!"

>How did this happen!? How did we forget to hire anyone to actually handle the minutia! We didn't have to personally sign off every single freaking license, that's insane to even think of! But-

"The numbers are all there! No one entity is buying the papers for the paperwork, the citizens are just doing them and filing them TO US. It was all of them, and then-"

>Directly to us!

"No DMV for carts, no zoning offices for expansions, we didn't even have a freaking visa office, just us!'

>We literally just had them send everything our way! Everything! And we never even wondered why!

"How have we never noticed it!?"

>Why didn't we think it was weird!? Nobody does that much paperwork, nobody!

"It's literally to my ceiling!"

>And that's HALF of it! We've done everything and somehow nobody noticed, or cared! It's us! The answer to the mystery is... US! IT WAS US ALL ALOOONG!

"Oh!"

>Dear!

>"LOVE!"

>...

"...Well, I guess mystery solved?

>Hey, it is!

"We did it!"

>We solved the mystery! WOOO!

"WOOO HOO!"

1/2

>>29375248

>...

"..."

>.. Huh, I just realized something.

"What's that?"

>This whole, you know, this thing we just did, it was kind of like a... date?

"I... guess, yeah."

>But... nothing bad happened.

"Huh. And I mean, it's not like this is terrible, it all got done, and we can start fixing it easy now."

>Yeah, it was just us running around, going to places, having a fun time...

"It was nice..."

>...Nothing bad happened.

"Nothing at all."

>That's so...

"Yeah... what does that mean?"

>...Let me think about it.

"..We um... you want to-"

>Let Cadence out of the bubble?

"Huh?.... OH SHIT RIGHT!"

>Stop panicking she's fine, if angry.

"...Did you just-"

>Expect an explosion? Yes. But, nothing.

"...Do you think-"

>Shhh, don't jinx it. Not yet. Because you know, it kind of feels like...

"...this can work out..."

>>29375255
Did not expect that twist..

>>29375255
They had a successful date!

CODE RED THIS IS NOT A DRILL

>>29375384
NC
>AJ
~~~~~~

>WELL GOOD FOR HIM
>WISH AH' HAD ONE OF THOSE

>>29375439
"SA"
~~~

"Fine, we'll go on a date-"

~~~~

>...

"...How'd we destroy the world-"

>It's better this way.

>>29375439
NC
>Spike
~~~~

>...I'm sorry...

>>29375813
Fix your shit, Spike.

>Guard
"Guard 2"
~~~~

>What in the fuck?

"It's a bunch of captains. I don't see how this is complicated.

>There's more than one captain of the guard!?

"Did you just assume that there was only one captain of the guard, period?"

>...

"..."

>...no...

"..."

>...shutup.

>Changeling
"Changelings"
~~~~

>How's the west Spire going?

"Great!"

CRACK
BOOOM!

>...

"That was the south Spire, duh."

"Yeah dude, not everything is so perfectly timed to when you ask it."

"It's like expecting lightning to strike exactly when you laugh evilly."

"Nobody actually does that!"

>...

"Mind blown, right?"

"Reality is so different from how we want it to be."

"But alas, we are trapped in these fleshy bodies, and our circumstance is mostly dictated by other people."

"Cry, cry, cry..."

>...

"SISSY!"

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

"Your moment wasn't perfect, live with it!"

"The world isn't about youuuuu!"

>...So is nobody going to check and make sure nobody just died in that collapse?

"Why would we?"

"That wouldn't be dramatically conveniant at all!"

>...

"What?"

>>29376267
>Changeling Hive just keeps falling apart, no reason
>Just cause
>Nobody can figure out why
>Until one day, they discover that Maud has gained quite the taste for Changeling stone...

>>29376454
NC
>Maud
"Awkwardling"
~~~

*Munch... munch... munch...*

"Um..."

*Munch... munch... munch...*

"You, uh, you're not supposed to... I mean, the Queen needs that for..."

*Munch... munch... munch...*

"This is really, um..."

*Munch... munch... munch...*

"...Nevermind."

>Did you say something?

"Nope!"

>Oh, I apologize then. It is hard to hear when I am eating, and did not want to be rude.

"It'sfinetotallyfinenoproblemshere."

>Good.

*Munch... munch...*

CRACK

BOOOOOOM!

"...You do you..."

>>29375851
Nothing to fix, she dumped him.

>>29376530
Its the love in every brick laid!

>>29376679
Wellllll, if someone did want to hint at a Romance for her, or him, what is the general consensus of what they would want that to be?

>>29376817
No comment, my attempt obviously was met with disaster.

>>29376817
I'm not feeling anyone for romance with either of them. The closest with AJ is either Shiny or Rarity, but Rarity's development is lagging behind theirs thanks to the OOCO's and Shiny's plate is so full we need three full courses just to sort out ONE of them. Spike, sad to say, has zero chemistry with anyone, period. He doesn't even have any with AJ now, and his chem with Rarity is at show levels, which is to say hints but nothing substantial.

Really, I'll take anyone if you develop it right.

>>29376817
Not Spike-TsunDT.

Pls

>>29376817
Besides Shiny, I still feel AJxSpike, there was just no effort there. I always planned to, but never did (plus the whole kid argument thing always killed my enthusiasm). Now, I don't give a flip. Good thing is, I can take my sweet time building them up again.

So, basically, if anyone has anything else, I would behoove you get on your grind.

>>29376780
Or maybe its the morter, the creamy white morter in between... Adding more flavor

>>29376992
I never bought into that idea that the kid thing ever slowed anyone down.

We literally have a mare who can't have sex without going nuclear and there's a ton of moments with her.

>>29376992
>Good thing is, I can take my sweet time building them up again.

Just don't take so long it fizzles out

>>29377008
Buy it, I was one of 'em. It was always such a hassle, especially when I wrote some Lunax56 moments.

A mare going nuclear when she has sex is a completely different situation than 'grown mare with kidlike dragon', and apparently others felt the same as the former was funny while the later was always argued over.

But like I said, I don't care anymore, I'm gonna write and see how it goes.

>>29376909
>Shiny's plate is so full we need three full courses just to sort out ONE of them.

And that one? His WIFE!

>>29376992
I never really felt it, and when I looked back through the older threads some time ago, I noticed a lot of the mentality was that Spike was just her 'have to end the series happy' trophy for a lot of them.

>>29377265
>a lot of the mentality was that Spike was just her 'have to end the series happy' trophy for a lot of them.
Yup, that too, and that kind of blew too, the cliche thought process there, but whatever, it is what it is.

>>29376992
Can't say I'm too interested in writing romance her either of them, so I'd say get to it.

Night thread

>>29377890
Day thread!

>>29378208
That was just cheesy enough to be groan worrhy

>>29378680
Enough to make quesodillas!

>>29376817
Personally I say Rarijack or Sparity. I'd develop Spike+DT more if I could ever stop being lazy and write it. They need more time together.

>>29376965
>Spike-TsunDT.
I've written a lot for this thread since day one but I think that story right there was my crowning achievement in the 'holy fuck dude what the hell are you writing stop' category. Years later, we still cringe at that.

So I don't wanna hear shit about someone being afraid to write something 'bad'. I'mma wear that crown for a good while.

>>29373184
>NO ANON
This is actually pretty refreshing and I'm glad at least one general bucks the 'Anonymous must be in every story' trend.

>>29379263
We actually blew 'anon' up in a side-story. It was funny as shit.

>>29379260
Psh, I went for cute in mine and while it was mixed result. I have no regrets. I just need to refine it a bit.

File: 899784__safe_rarity_applejack_shipping_smiling_lesbian_eyes+closed_prone_pillow_rarijack.png (757KB, 1280x894px) Image search: [Google]

757KB, 1280x894px

Non-Canon
>AJ
"Rarity"
~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.

"I talked with the pink pony club and got their advice on how they became a host."

>Oh? And?

"I...I couldn't do it. I couldn't go behind your back like that."

AJ smiles.
>Ah' didn't think so. Ah' know you too well.

"Okay you called my bluff. Why won't you let me be your co-host?"

>Ah' uh...can't talk about it.
She scrunches her face and looks away.

"..."
AJ starts sweating.
"Darling, I've been your assistant on this show for a while and I almost went behind your back to talk to the producer. I think I deserve a little bit of an explanation."

AJ sweats more.
>...uh Ah' may have been planning to make you my co-host during the show's anniversary and was going to surprise you.

"...Really?"

>We really have been at this for a while. Ah' really do agree and think you deserve to be my co-host.
Rarity starts getting teary eyed.
>That's all the time we have, but thanks for joining me on...the Fireside.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

~NC to my NC~
Rarity kisses AJ on the cheek.
>...
AJ smiles, pulls Rarity close, and kisses her on the lips. Rarity is surprised.
>We're partners now.

I curse my inability to write anything decent but for the guy(s) doing Twilight and the Professors If you get to it do a code of ethics thing with the Proffesors either going 'duh!' or being down right horrified at the implications of doing/thinking of doing certain things. Things that make Twilight feel sad cause she learned those lessons herself by crossing those lines. But in a funny way. God I wish I could do more than lurk.

>>29379303
...well, that was unexpected. But cute!

>>29379303
~~~~~

*when she wakes up*

>...how am Ah even supposed to take that?

>Flim
“Flam”
~~~~

>Hello our ponies, and thank you for tuning in to Flim and Flam in the morning!

*RINNGGNGNGNG!*

“Top story creeping down the vine, it seems a certain someone snuck off with a certain underage fillllyyyy~!”

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!*

>Yes, our sources have reported that none other than Spike the Dragon, yes, that Spike, recently left just before an airship took off with the one and only Diamond Tiaraaaa!

“And she wasn’t alooone!”

*AWOOOGA!*

>Both of them boarded that airship some time ago, suspiciously only an hour after Spike was seen fleeing Canterlot!

“It seems those rumors of a devastating breakup between him and the princess of apples is true! And perhaps we’ve found the reason why?”

*Hummuna hummna!*

>A scandalous bit of sneaking off with a former A-team member?

“And of course her friend always joined at the hip?”

>In more ways than one it seems!

“Ohhhh!”

*WOLF WHISTLE!*

>While of course this is unverified, and you should take it with a grain of salt!

“It would take a kinder soul not to see why the breakup might have been a dragons fault!’

>We’ll keep you updated!

“Stay in the know!”

>”And the Flim Flam Brothers will keep brining the show!”

*APPLAUSE!*

>After the break, we’ll bring you the shocking story of what one mare claims was an unrequited love affair in the depths of none other than the Wonderbolts themselves!

“Stick around after this, and we’ll share all the details!”

>Stay tuned, but first a word from our sponsers!

{In Equestria’s royal guard! WE NEED YOU!}

>>29376817
Shiny/AJ.

Not because I have a particular attachment to that pairing, but only because it's the only one who actually seems to have people who want to write about it. I'm sick of waffling. If you are willing to write it, I am really into it.

>>29379674
You had a romantic dream about one of your best friends. You're just having a sexy phase like camp.

>Rarity
“Fluttershy”
~~~~

>Can I just say what a wonderful host of abilities you have? Really, darling, anyone would fall over themselves to spend more time with you.

“Please don’t make this feel any weirder.”

>I’m just saying, you’ve such skills with your work! I’m almost jealous I can’t conjure such wonders myself. Though, it does make me quite eager to see just how close I can match this.

“Please don’t try to match this.”

>Really, it would only be fair! I know I slip on occasion, but I assure you I am the Element of Generosity, and will prove it if the time comes!

“Please don’t prove it.”

>Oh come now, I can try. I can certainly try.

“…So who hired this pony to torch your boutique?”

>Very likely one of the businesses I close the tax loopholes on. Though I assumed they didn’t expect it to turn into living red cotton balls and roll back from where it came.

“I’d be worried if they expected that. Do you want help?”

>No, no, I’ll handle this.

“You sure?”

>Oh Fluttershy, worry not! I am the Element of Generosity… and I give as good as I get.

>>29380263
Holy shit!

Escalated quickly!

OOCO
>AJ
“SA”
‘Celestia’
~~~

>Help.

“No one can help you now!”

‘You have found yourself betwixt whiteys!’

“Nothing can save you!’

‘Nothing!’

>Ah’m telling my brother.

“We’ll probably corrupt him too.”

‘The only real question is if he would rather have me or Shiny.’

>Well, there’s mental images Ah’ never needed.

“If it’s any consolation, dudes do absolutely nothing for me.”

‘Cadence weeps.’

“When have you ever seen her okay with me being with anyone of any gender she personally didn’t vet and have at least six major adventures with?’

>He’s got a point.

‘I stand by it!’

“I disagree, and would like to present my evidence!’

>While y’all sort that out, mind ceasin’ the huggin?

“No!”

‘You shall be hugged by your whiteys and you will love it!’

>Oh, so now yer’ MY whiteys?

“Damn straight!”

‘And that’s that!’

>…Ah’ don’t know how to feel about that.

“Feel good!”

‘And not like you want to check on your office!’

>…

“Damn it, Celestia.”

‘I’m sorry.’

>What did you do?

“We… might’ve cracked your desk.”

>…

“And specifically, uh… broke it down hard enough to squish the apple inside of it. The big one.”

>...g-g-g...

‘HUG HER HARDER!’

“IT’S NOT WORKING!”

>RRRRAAAAGGGGGGGEE!

‘ALL IS LOST!”

>>29379982
How would we even...? I'm not French or anything but still, how would we even?

>>29380486
NC
>Granny
“Big Mac”
~~~

>Ya’ feel that, son?

“Eeeyyyuuup.”

>Someone, somewhere, disrespected the Apple.

“Eeeyyup.”

>…they got what they deserved.

“…eeeeeyup.”

>Reporter
“Arana”
'???'
~~~~

“Hey! My name’s Arana and-

>Holy Faust on a lemon wedge… you… y-you have eight legs… eight spider legs…

“Annnd we’ve already hit rock bottom, haven’t we? Three seconds in and this is what gravel tastes like. It’s bitter, it is.”

>Are those… do they hurt?

“Ummmm, no. Considering they’re prosthetics, no, I can safely safe they do not hurt.”

>Oh, oh thank Faust, I thought… ha… for second there, I thought those things were-

“Real? Well, of course they are! I was just kidding! I can make 'em go in and out like this see? Watch! Wa-kow, in, wa-kow, out, wa-kow, in, wa-kow, out!”

>….

“Did… your face, it… is turning green your, um, your talent? We all have talents, guess yours is-”

>HOW!

“Loud!”

>THE HELL!

“Vulgar!”

>ARE THOSE REAL?!

“Because my momma has them…?”

>I… have so many questions I think I gave myself an aneurysm….

“Those sound tasty, can I have one?”

>Can we… can we pause here? Take a break? I have to go hurl, find some meds, then take a long, slow walk across the bay while the sun sets and reflect on my obviously terrible life choices.

“…You won’t be coming back, will you?”

>Don’t bet your legs on it.

“Oh… oh! Oh hahaha, that was a joke! A joke on me and… aww….”

'Arana? Is your interview almost done? You still have a scene to shoot.'

>OH SWEET FUCK ON A HOTDOG THIS ONE'S BIGGER WHAT THE SHIT

"Hey, mom!"

>MOM?

"Yeah, this is my-"

THUMP.

"...he hit the ground pretty hard..."

'Most do, sweetheart, let's go.'

>>29380689
>Real Sciddy is still alive

Worst timeline!

>Pommel
“77”
‘Manehatten Captain’
~Fillydelphia Captain~
(Baltimare Captain)
{Potsticker}
=Silver Star=
~~~~

>Attention! Can I have your attention please? Order in the court!

“I’ll have a-“

>Don’t. You. Dare.

“…I was just going to I’ll have a seat, this looks like it’s going to take a while.”

>No you weren’t.

“No I wasn’t…”

>ORDER!

‘Excuse me! Can someone please explain why we’re here!’

>I’m trying to tell you that!

~Also, someone really needs to explain the changeling!~

“Excuse me!?’

~Oh, I’m sorry, did that seem offensive to you? Well I hope I didn’t BREAK anything, it’s not like I was trying to CRUSH your dreams, I’d rather not SHATTER this trust or anything-~

“You do realize she tried to crush my entire hive when she showed up too, right?”

~Don’t care!~

“At least he’s honest?”

{Hey now, you got a problem with the bugs, you take it up with me! I’m not letting you talk shit about my new shade!}

“There are so many conflicting feelings in that.”

=And Ah’ right reckon if you’ve got an issue with their kind, why don’t ya’ take up some grievances with me? Ain’t met the bunch yet, but the one who lives down the road is a fair sight better of a soul than you are.=

~Excuse me!?~

>Everyone? Please, can we stop fighting among ourselves? We’re all captains here-

~Bullshit he is!~

“I am so, I’m the Captain of the Ponyville guard!”

~Ponyville has a guard?~

“Yes!”

~Besides you?~

“…there is also a bear.”

~Pfft-~

“Do you have a bear?”

~...Bearsrstupiddon’tevenwantone.~

1/2

>>29380904

‘Can we please get back to why we’re here? Some of us have parties to attend.’

>Right. Well, I-wait, parties?

‘Yes? What, do you never get invited? I’m not surprised. Huuh huuh!’

>Why are you attending parties?

‘To keep up with all the movers and shakers in my city, of course!’

>And…criminals?

‘What good are officers if you can’t let them handle the riff raff?’

>Officers?

‘Would you prefer the vernacular of ‘cops’?’

>…I wouldn’t? What? I just call them guard.

‘How behind the times! You’re almost as lacking as the scruffy one there!’

=Come again?=

‘Sherriff! How outdated!’

=Ah’ reckon’ Ah’m newer than you, seein’ as the name didn’t even exist before mah’ town, which didn’t exist three years ago.=

‘…Huh. That… huh.’

=Just like a unicorn to be behind the times.=

>Hey now! No need for racism!

“We are looooong past the point of that one.”

(If we’re talking about names, can I rename myself besides Captain? The sailors get confused.)

>We’re not here to rename ourselves!

(Oh… then can I get a party invitation?)

‘HAW!’

(Not from you. From this guy, he gets to meet the princesses and everything. Way cooler than a bunch of rich ponies.)

‘…Pommel! My good stallion!’

>Oh come on.

{That’s just sad.}

‘When you’ve done what I’ve done, ‘shame’ is not something that survives the trip.’

>Did not need to know that.

“Isn’t that why we’re here?”

>…Wait, shoot.

‘YOU CANNOT PROVE ANYTHING I’VE EVER DONE!’

(Me either!)

~And especially not me!~

{You can prove what I’ve done, but please don’t.}

“Who wants hoof-hole cider? Fifty bits a shot.”

‘DONE!’

>…This is going to be fun.

>>29380920
Good on PS and SS.

Stick up for your own.

>>29380920
That was hilarious as hell.

>>29380981
Agreed.

>Spike
“DT”
‘SS’
(PJ)
{Daw}
~~~
>Did anyone ever wonder what it would be like if we were the Elements of Harmony?

“Obviously, but the Tiara doesn’t look like my cutie mark.”

>Excuse me? You think you’d be the Element of Magic?

“…Is that a rhetorical question?”

>I’m the only one here who could even use magic!

(Ahem.)

>You don’t count.

(Because?)

>…Because shut up. Look, I’m clearly the closest to Twilight-

(And I’ve got the wings, horns and magic. Your move.)

>She didn’t have the wings when she was the element of magic!

(Which means I’m ahead of the curve, bam.)

>That is not-

“AHEM! Clearly I’m the smart one, and Twilight is the smart one of the group, ergo… ergo meant meaning that, for you not-smarts. Also, I’m totally a born leader, it’s literally what my cutie mark means.”

>That doesn’t mean anything! I once lead all of their pets!

“…Really.”

>Sounded better in my head…

“I do not doubt that, but I feel so bad for you.”

‘I’d probably be-‘

“Loyalty, we know Silver Spoon.”

‘…was going to say kindness.’

“Why’s that?’

‘I haven’t left you yet.’

“But isn’t that loyalty?’

{Think I’d be loyalty, figure. Cause of sticking with Pom and all that.}

(Pfft, I’m obviously-)

>”’PFFFTAHAHAHAHAHA!’”

(Point taken. But if Magic is off the table-)

“It obviously is.”

(Theennn, I don’t know, Generosity? I share my potatoes all the time.)

>I’d be Generosity!

“HA!’

>If I wasn’t Magic which I clearly am, I mean!

“HA HA!”

‘Kiiinddneessss.’

{Wait, who’d Buggo number one be?}

(You’d best be talking about me.)

>Seven? He’d… huh. What would he be?

“…”
‘…’
(…Think he’d be the Spike of the group.)

>That makes sense-WAIT WHAT!?

“’({HA!}’”

>Screw you guys!

>>29381251
Poor SS...

>>29381251
NC
>7
“??”
~~~~

>Pfft, idiots… I’m clearly Celestia.

“You say something, baby?”

>I said… I’m clearly wreckingya.

“Not that clearly.”

>HEY!

>>29380489
>I'm not French or anything but still, how would we even?

You sure? Cause you're sure not speaking english.

>>29381581
I don't think that joke translates well in text.

>>29380904
>“Do you have a bear?”
>~...Bearsrstupiddon’tevenwantone.~

Okay that was gold.

>>29380920
>Trottingham Captain's thoughts
"???"
'???'
~TC~
~~~~

>Don't say a word. Don't let them know. Don't let anyone know. They can't see you, they can't do anything about you, you're free and clear and nobody can touch you. It's fine. This is fiiiiine... just gotta keep silent, keep to yourself, conceal don't feel and then they'll let you go, let you go, they can't hold you here anymore. This is fine. Everything is fine.

"Miss? Did you want to contribute?"

>ABORT ABORT IT'S ALL SNAFU WE'RE FUCKED

~...no.~

"Strong silent type, I take it?"

'What a badass.'

>...this is fiiiine...

>Spike
"???"
'PJ'
(DT)
{SS}
~Daw~
~~~~

>How much longer is he going to take?

Though any in the room doubted they'd even waited a single hour, they'd begun to grow restless. Hooves and claws twitched. Feet tapped in rhythmic steps. Errant limbs idly flicked weapons of mass destruction despite the unease it set on everyone else in the room.

They'd tried to be patient, but such was a virtue that seldom few of them held, and with every tick of the unseen clock the breaking point fast approached.

(Obviously the idiot got himself captured! I knew we shouldn't have waited!)

{Or ditched us when he saw what we were up against.}

'Wooooww, sensing a lot of unspoken words about the trustworthiness and effectiveness of changelings.'

(Oh, cram it, some of my best friends are changelings.)

'Not anyone present.'

~Ohhh!~

(I figured that went without saying, all my changeling friends are cool.)

~OHHHH!~

>Daw? Don't make it worse.

~I'm bloody bored, gimme a break.~

>This isn't a show, we're in enemy territory here, sowing discord probably isn't the best idea when we could be in a firefight in the next second.

~Ya' don't know much about pirates, do you?~

{I don't, and don't want to know. Raping and pillaging and burning are things I can live without.}

~HEY!... We never raped anyone, come on.~

Either though sheer frustration or simply the realization she was no longer the center of attention, the muffled screech of anger the filly let out was nothing short of awe inspiring.

(I can't take anymore of this! I'm going out there!)

>No, you aren't!

The dragon's attempts to put himself in her path, though noble, ultimately fell short when he was heaved aside with one powerful roll of a pink shoulder.

>Diamond Tiara, stop!

(Or what?!)

1/4

>>29382256

The group find themselves tense as she neared the door, every one of them looking ready to snap up and jump the instant she looked away. Her glare, focused as it was, still managed to keep locked on the others with a strange paradox of sight, just enough on every inch that no one felt they were not in her gaze, and that they would be safe from retaliation should her shoulder dip again, and something far more powerful and metallic be placed in their way.

(Look, it's obvious he's been captured, it's obvious they know we're here, and it's obvious they're looking for us! We need to get out there and be the ones to take them by surprise before they find us! Would you rather they snuck up on us disguised as him? Because, oh, I don't know, one of them is a freaking changeling!)

'Still not feeling the love here.'

(He obviously messed up, and it's up to us to save him! How long has it been already? It was a simple scouting mission, it shouldn't have taken more than five minutes, tops! And now here we are, hoping against hope that somehow, he turns up at the last moment and hurray hurray, we can continue, instead of taking charge and heading out ourselves! Well, if you want to stay hidden until they burst in with their army and guns blazing, you're welcome to! But I don't know if you've noticed, there's nowhere to run. You try to leave, you hve one direction, and they're going to figure it out way quicker than you can run. So, what's it going to be?)

Her strong words were met with equal parts anger, resentment, argument, and just a bit of doubt. The dark little worm began to work it's way into even the mind thought the most iron clad by it's owner, and the temptation to roll with the filly's energy became all the more tempting to let loose.

When she reached towards the doorknob, ready and willing to step out and begin the assault in earnest, most reached for their own weapons.

2/4

>>29382265

If they had planned to use them to stop her or to join into the fray was a question they would ask themselves many times in the future, but not this moment.

This moment, everything stopped when the door creaked open, and revealed a strong, stiff jawed stallion on the other side.

"...Impeccable timing."

The face the did not recognize.

The voice was all that kept them from panicking, and unleashing the storm of every weapon currently pointing towards him.

"How did you all know I was coming?"

They lowered their weapons, a slight blush coloring the cheeks of more than one soul in the room, none more so than the pink filly who's hoof had been nearly there to pulling back the trigger of the artillery pointed his way.

(...HRMPH! I'm Diamond Tiara, of course I know.)

Not a one of them challenged her. One pondered if they should, one twitched with irritation, one smirked with a cocky glee, and one just sadly sighed and gave up, but none of them corrected her.

"I'll have to work on that, I suppose. But we've got bigger problems to deal with, and I do mean that in the most literal sense."

>Bigger how?

The stallion's face took on a solid, hard look. All levity, all joking, all cockiness and all assuredness was long since gone.

"Big."

One word sent such worries down their spine, and the weapons on their backs or their side suddenly felt far lighter than they should.

~Gonna keep being vague or what? This ain't the time to be playing coy, lad.~

"It's easier if I just show you. Trying to explain would be... complicated."

'And just what is that supposed to mean?'

His response was a jerk of his head, and a curt look down the hall opposite of the one he'd left from originally.

"Come on, we've only got a brief window before things get weird."

>How brief are we talking?

"Oh, I'd say whenever the security guard at the monitors wakes up and realizes that the magical feed for the cameras is constantly looping."

>...Got an estimate?

3/4

>>29382273

For all his seriousness and all his lack of levity, he left all the others with a profound sense of confusion when a smirk nearly twitched on the corner of his mouth, only barely held back by sheer force of will.

"I'd give an hour to recover, then probably some questions will pop up."

He turned and started down the hall before any of the others could respond to that or further pry into what that meant, already hurrying off as if expecting the others to simply fall in line and follow.

Of course, they did, despite the reservations of said treatment a certain hotheaded filly and put upon dragon felt.

"This is the shortest route, move fast. My magic should be able to sense anyone up ahead, keep to the walls and if push comes to shove, let me handle it first, I can be... persuasive."

They didn't dare question what that could have possibly meant, nor did they question why his eyes suddenly flickered with an eerie glow that seemed brighter than the magic he'd had when he'd left. They merely followed, no matter how alien it felt to every one of them, every one save a single member of their wild team.

{...For the record, on our earlier discussion?}

The only one who looked at his retreating back, and seemed to understand.

{I'm thinking that's the magic one.}

They did not know where he led them, where they would go, or what awaited at the end.

"Hurry."

They only followed, to the mystery they would soon find.

And if the way the magic on the walls hummed with power was any indication, something else with it.

>>29382293
>And if the way the magic on the walls hummed with power was any indication, something else with it.

NC
>Chitania
"Sunset'
~~

>...

"...So how long till they figure out-"

>At this rate, never.

"Should we gas them?"

>I really don't want to deal with their shitty ghosts.

"..."

>...Did we have to watch him do that security mare-

"Yes."

>>29382293
DOOOOOMMMMEEEDDD

Also, what the fuck did he find?

>>29382396
My guess?

A certain drawing is going to come to life.

>>29382293
I like to picture the baddies just sitting around, eating breakfast, not a single care in the world while these guys bungle in and wreck shit.

>>29382415
THE MACHINES WILL RISE

File: Sad Skiddy.png (114KB, 326x554px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 326x554px

>>29380756
Now look what you did Anon!

>>29382293
>DT immediately tries to fuck shit up

Damn it worst-filly!

>>29382547
>I just want to hug my little skitters...

>>29380756
Well I mean she'd have to be 'alive' to play her scenes, the flashbacks and such.

File: Motherly Love.png (555KB, 989x971px) Image search: [Google]

555KB, 989x971px

>>29382566
Spidermare nose boops Anon, that's where its at.

>>29382600
A
CUTE

File: Memories....png (2MB, 1237x1138px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1237x1138px

>>29382653
You like that!? HAVE ANOTHER!

>>29382600
Fuck my heart that's still so cute....

>>29382683
Changleling milfs in this universe are so cute, why do we have to give them such horrible back stories?

>>29382683
>Showing cute Chitty images

Awwww, what comes next is gonna suck, isn't it?

>Screwloose
“8-Bit”
‘Gaffer’
~~~

Her hooves were delightfully warm….

“...Her hindlegs were just kicking like mad… think she was chasing something?”

‘Yeah, her sanity. Good luck catching that shit.’

That was the first thing she noticed when she regained consciousness, that her hooves were nice and toasty in some blue and gray striped socks.

“Wonder why she acts like a dog, though….”

‘No clue. The fact that she hasn’t pissed on us yet as a sign of marking her territory is a homerun in my regard.’

“…Dare you enter her mag-”

‘I will fucking end your life right now if you finish that.’

She opened her maw in a silent yawn, rubbing at her tussled mane. Those socks were pretty snug, she noticed, glancing down at them… but where had they come from?

“How’s your leg? Any better?”

‘All that walking we did earlier sure didn’t help, tell ya that much. We got here on time… just to walk right back out.’

“Yeah, but... we had to. I mean, seriously, how many times has she done that? She was on the floor. Again.”

‘It’s a pretty comfy floor, I can see the logic behind the motive.’

“Probably passed out after cleaning up our leftover mess. Again.”

‘…’

How much did they cost…? She couldn’t find a price tag anywhere, but the material… it was nice, very form-fitting yet breathable.

1/3

>>29382858

“It’s the least we could’ve done, I think.”

‘Whatever. Next time I get injured, I’m going to see a real doctor.’

Most of the machinery was already whirring to life, the lights were on, the day’s notes were already separated into their correct piles, and, most importantly, nothing was on fire.

“…You do realize that it was our fault you got injured in the first place. Right?”

‘I… okay. Annnnd?’

“And we’re here on a probationary period as well. Any major injury caused by our own idiocy would probably get labeled as dereliction of duty and get us all kicked out.”

‘…Faust damn it.’

Another yawn was followed by a very feline-esque stretch before she dipped her front half to the ground and gave her aloft rear a good wiggle.

“Just saying, she pretty much protected all three of us by doing it herse-”

She pounced.

>Gooooooood morning, Fuckwit, Gabby!

“‘GUH!’”

Neither stallion was ready for when Screwloose suddenly threw a hoof around their necks, bringing them in close for a near-strangling hug.

>Ready to get this shitshow started?

They didn’t answer at first, taking note of her expression. Her smile was downright maniacal, but they were used to that, used to seeing nearly every single one of her teeth in that smile so wide that it made her eyes close.

2/3

>>29382866

What they weren’t used to was how she seemed to nuzzle one cheek, 8-bit’s, then turn to the other, Gabby’s, in a rotating fashion.

‘Ummm… okay… is this a thing dogs do? I mean, not complaining, I just want to make- grk!’

The hold on their necks had tightened.

>Shut up. Listen. You two may be that annoying itch in the crack of my ass that I just can’t get to when I’m out in public, but still… thanks for the socks! They’re super comfy! How’d you know my size? Waaaaiiit… you two pervs didn’t do anything unscrupulous to my glorious hooves when I was out, did you?

“What? Ew, no! You trot on those things!”

‘Hoofism is literally low-tier on the fetish scale, we do have some dregs of dignity left over, you know.’

She snorted.

>Heh, that’s what they all say in the beginning… Welp, thanks again, boys. Ready to rock?

Now they responded, in unison, both producing a weary grin.

“‘After you, boss.’”

>Good.

3/3

>>29382868
I like Neither admitted to having done it. I wonder if a certain missing guy stopped in?

>>29382866
>“And we’re here on a probationary period as well.

What did you fuckwits do?

>>29382762
Rule one of Chitty's life.

Suffering.

>>29379396
>Twilight
"Professor"
'Professor'
~~~

>Okay, this is... pretty bad. I'm not going to mince words here, everything looks pretty bad. From what I can tell from your notes, you were completely unsupervised, not reviewed, and did pretty much anything you wanted without consequence while being paid ludicrous amounts of money.

"We know!'

'We're frauds!'

>I only shudder to think what unethical stuff you even got up to with this unrestricted freedom and decadence.

"The worst!"

'Everything we did was unethical! We're monsters!'

>What horrible things have you done!? AI without any ethics or morals programmed in!?

"...A what now?"

>Oh, right. Little advanced... transmogrification!? Did you change something into something beyond it's recognition!?

"I turned a cup into a bowl once."

>...

"Is that bad?"

>Okay, so nothing as terrible as turning a bird into an orange, and doing horrible things to it's organs as they turned into literal and figurative pulp and you need to fix it while trying not to cry.

'Weirdly specific.'

>Oh dear mercy! Don't tell me you tried PONY AUGMENTATION!?

"I made a wheelchair for a pony without a leg once."

'That was nice.'

"It actually was! I felt good!"

'Kinda basic, though.'

"You probably can do way better."

>...

"Is that a good twitch?"

>...Did you guys ever even experiment on ponies, or other species?

"WHAT!? No!"

'We're not going to hurt anyone!'

"No matter what they are!"

'I mean, we're not just going to stick someone in a glass cell and experiment on them!'

"Or, like, one of those awesome sci-fi tubes."

'We'd never use that, no matter how cool it looks!'

"We're lazy as sin and terrible wastes of taxpayer funds, but we're not monsters!"

>...

"Princess? Are you okay?"

>...hello darkness my old friend...

>>29383118
You mean conflict, right?! Lolololololol!!!

>>29383236
I regret my joke.

That said it actually is conflict, I guess? She never just suffers for the sake of suffering, she caused 13 to run away, Variolus attacking her was a result of Momsie's twisted plan gone awry, her mother never hurt her just for the sake of it, just to make her stronger, and all the while she had choices she could have done at every juncture to prevent them, but chose wrong, so the conflict is seeing when she'll make the right one.

I guess you win this round?

>>29383192
Oh, Twilight.

If this was war, you'd be headed to Switzerland.

>>29382904
Where is 12 anyway?

>>29382980
Probably tried to poop in Shiny's mailbox again.

>>29383639
>Where is 12 anyway?
NC
>12
~~~

>Wow, I can't believe nobody ever cleared out Zecora's place, this is awesome! There's so much weed in here!... Huh, you know, I wonder if she has anymore under the floor boards?

CRACK

~WHHHOOOMMMM!~

>WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU