Princess Applejack

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Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:>>29275841
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:
http://pastebin.com/u/NSFT_NotSafeForTwo_

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

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First for Apple hugs!

Put a caption on this pic.

First for a whole new year!

>>29308828
>I don't even know this girl...

The first thread of year 4 of Applejack, what a ride.

>>29308797
She looks ready to fall over!

>>29308828
>Ah' don't know why we're getting shipped, Ah' don't get any screentime with her.

>>29308828
Hello darkness my old friend...
I've come to talk to you again...

>>29308853
Fuck you, she can eat all those apples!

>>29308855
Who would you prefer? Shiny? Pffftt, like that would work? Ahah ahah, right?

damn you why is their ooco chemistry so great

>Applejack
"Celestia'
~~

>Hey, Tia? Gotta question.

"I know you do. You always have those. That's all you ever have with me. You have no love, no kindness, no mercy in your heart. One day, you looked inside of it, and with one deft pull of your hoof, you ripped them all out, and in their place, you shoved in a wad of questions. Questions questions questions to fill your life, and not a single drop else to be found."

>Yeah, Ah'm awful and all that.

"Your admittance can only be further proof of mockery."

>But mah' question is, do you have a day court?

"A what?"

>A day court, where you answer questions and all that?

"Y-yes? Whyyy? Oh dear mother, don't tell me you want to start doing this in front of other ponies-"

>Can' Ah' come?

"You do! You want to display my failure and shame for all to see! Why, Applejack!? Why do you hate me so!? This is over the line! This is sadism! This is-"

>No, Ah' meant, can Ah' come and answer questions too? Ah' wanna get a feel for some smaller problems while Ah' branch out over the country. Heh, get it? Branch out. Ah' should be the next Pinkie. My Apple Humor is the best.

"Oh. OH! Oh you just want to-you mean you don't-we could-I actually could answer less questions!?"

>Guess that's one way ta' look at it.

"Oh my."

>Are you crying?

"I'm so happy."

>Er, just so you know, if they ask who's fault it is-

"I know."

>Okay, now you're definitely-

"I KNOOOOWWW!"

>>29308964
>Not OOCO

Feels good man.

>>29308828
It feels like she is crying...

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>>29308878
There's no way she can eat all those fucking apples

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>>29309125

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Pinkie Preview Prophecies

>Applejack reveals her power level.
>Pinkie is going to have to non-canon that, so you don't remember.
>Fluttershy wasn't asking.
>Rainbow Dash thinks this is crusty.
>Twilight is sad that she didn't need a book for this.
>Rarity checks on Spike to see if he'd like to help or chime in.
>The Crusaders reminisce about how epic their cute-ceañera was.
>Fast fanservice!

>>29309145
Does this mean it's 2018?

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>>29308828

>>29309343
You have made this image very cute. Bravo.

>>29309343
Cough! Hack! Sunset! Cough! Weeeew what was that lol!?

>>29308964
The only chemistry of all his love with these guys.

>>29309585
Awww. Don't worry. AJ will royally fuck over someone who cares for her eventually. Again. Like with Spike. Or Sunset. Or Applebloom.

>>29309343
>bare
kek

>>29309641
I think... Spike again!

>>29309927
I do too...

Also hooman two acute.

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>>29310272
Care to elaborate?

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[AJ]
{Rarity}
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but we're having fun and you can't stop us!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main segment...WAKING PARTY WITH THE FIRESIDE!!!

[So what's a waking party suppose to be?]

{Knowing Pinkie it's the opposite of a slumber party.}

>It is!

{Called it~}

"Let's play spin the bottle!"

'But with a twist.'

{I want to go first.}

>Go for it!

They all gather around and Rarity spins the bottle. It lands on AJ.
"Now you have to slap Applejack."

{Oh that's the twist.}

'What did you think it was?'

{...get ready, darling!}

[Haha okay go ahead. Ah' know how to take a-]
*SLAP*
[OW!]

{I hit harder than you think and hey that actually was fun!}

[...Ah'm next.]
AJ spins the bottle and it points to herself.
[So what does that mean?]

>"Booty slaps!"
They all come up behind AJ and slap her butt.
[OW OW OW OW OW! Okay who did an extra slap?]

>That's all the time we have now, but we'll see you all next time!

>"'Byyyyye!'"

Rarity smirks.
{One for the other cheek, darling.}

>>29308797
>4 a day
>to quit is my goal

>>29310868
At least she isn't smoking.

>>29310854
Cute!

>>29310470
Someone clearly had a stroke.

>AJ
“AUJ”
~~~

>Foreign relations!?

“Exactly. Ah’ want you to use the Apple Family hospitality to reach out to other nations, and make everything better for everyone.”

>Ah’ suck at that though! Ah’ suck at it so hard Ah’ completely messed up with the griffons that one time! Ah’ just barely managed to do okay with the next time because Cadence was right there in the room coaching me! Ah’ suck at this!

“Oh, do you? Nevermind then.”

>…really?

“Yeah, Ah’m not going to let you anywhere near it if you’re bad at it, Ah’ don’t want to jeopardize the future of the country on you sucking. You stay faarrrr away from foreign relations then.”

>Huh. Guess that makes sense.

“In fact, you’re banned from the meetings.”

>Whoa now, ain’t that a little-

“And you can’t interact with the ambassadors.”

>HEY NOW!

“And Ah’m locking you in your room when they’re in town.”

>THAT AIN’T… Ohhhh, Ah’ get’cha, this is just a test to tell me to stop being such a sissy about this, ain’t it? This is you tellin’ me to buck up and stop actin’ like a little filly, huh? This here is you putting your hoof down and giving me some tough love, eh?

“…”

>….Right?

“No.”

>No as in you’re throwing me off the scent-

“Ah’ will break your damn legs if you mess up our global relations and display you to our allies to show how Ah’ feel about ponies like you.”

>…

“…”

>…Is that a l-

“No.”

>…M’kay then.

>>29311391
No fucks given!

>SA
"18"
'Worker'
~~~~

'...You know, how is it I pulled up the short straw to get paper maker in life? You'd figure I'd have a CEO cutie mark or something. This whole system is freakishly rigged-'

His thoughts and his body were suddenly rattled when the door to his factory slammed open.

>YOU!

'GAH!... M-majesty!? What are yo-WAH!'

Before he could talk, he was grabbed and thrown up against the wall.

>WHERE ARE THE PAPERS GOING!?

'W-what!? Why are you talking like that!?'

From behind him, a chitinous hoof shot forwards, and booped him in the nose.

"WHERE ARE THE PAPERS GOING!?"

'OW! That kind of hurt a little bit!.. Also, I think you need a cough drop.'

>I WILL DROP YOU!

The grip lessened, and he did start to slip down towards the ground a half inch beneath him.

'Is this... bad!? I am so confused!'

"WHERE ARE THE PAPERS GOING!"

She booped him again, harder this time.

'My snootles!'

>WHERE!?

'I don't knoooww! I don't know! I don't make them! I just sell them!... I mean the other way! I do the other thing! I'm a paper maker! I'm a paper maaakkkeerrr! You want saallleees! Bawww!'

>We've got our lead. What should I do with him?

"Put him back, we'll need him later... for paper stuff."

He was shoved back into his seat, and both prince and changeling gave him a look, pointed to their eyes than him, and then backpeddled out the door.

'...who the fuck will believe that just happened?'

>>29311564
Holy shit these two are beautifully well connected.

>Twilight
"Professor"
~~~

>Alright! Brand new world, brand new day! Actually going to fix stuff here! Time to get down and boogie like you've never boogied before! We can fix anything and all that jazz number! Literal jazz number, I have that! Let's do this!

"...Okay? Princess, while we're happy you're here, why are you telling me that?"

>I'm just psyching myself up.

"Aren't you already psychic?"

>Ha ha! I love it, never too old for a joke

".."

>That's not to say you're old or anything... I mean, you clearly are old, but not old-old, it's more, uh... wisdom weight? Yeah, wisdom weight, that seems like a good way to put it.

"..."

>Not good? I tried with this one.

"..."

>I'll bring Pinkie next time, she knows.

"Alright..."

>Right! Exactly! Now, what are we doing first?

"I guess we could start on the current experiments in the applied magical studies wing?"

>...You can't see it, but I just got a magic-boner.

"Everyone can clearly see that."

>Oh, good then... they know now. To the science!

>>29311764
Twiggles a cute!

A Cute!

>>29311564
>'...who the fuck will believe that just happened?'

>Shiny and 18 can do whatever they want so long as it's so crazy it's unbelievable.

>>29311821
Would you believe Celesita would break in and shit in your cereal?

>>29311391
It's technically still tough love...

>>29310854
>Rarijack will only live in LNPP

WHY

>42
"Two"
'Cadence'
~~

>I have several questions.

"Is this a pop quiz? Ya' know you gotta warn me about that, poppin stuff scares not-mom."

'FORTY TWO HELP!'

>Look, I'll cut it down to one, why is she in the bubble?

"Mommy's in time out cause she swore."

'I am not!'

>You didn't swear? Doesn't seem like Two to make that up.

'N-well yes, but that's not the reason!'

"It is so! It's why I pushed her bubble in the corner!"

>But did you put her in the bubble?

"Nah, mah' bubblewand don't go that big, and they just pop when they hit her, they don't suck 'em in and float around at all. That yellow fella is a liar!"

>Maybe if she was underwater.

"Pfft, they set stuff on fire in there all the time, even Ah' know ya' can't make fire underwater, Forty Two! Ya' just can't!"

>Actually, underwater vents-

'LET ME OUT ALREADY!'

>Right! Right, sorry, Cadence. I'll get you out.

"But she's in time out!"

>But how long have you been there? A long time?

"...Mah' hot coco has gone cool..."

>Which means way too long. You can't watch forever, even a warden gets a break.

"GASP! Yer' right!"

>Go along and play then, you were an excellent watcher, I'll make sure she stays until she's not punished anymore.

"YAY! Thanks, Ferty Two! Mommy, you be good now, no more swearing!"

'No promises.'

"Ohhhh, I'm AJ Two! Jumpin' with my bouncey shoes..."

>...Where did she learn that song, anyway-

'FORTY TWO!'

>Right! Right. No worries, I'll have you out with ONE PAAAUNNNCCHH-

TINK!

>...

'...'

>...We might have a problem.

'GRRRAAGGHHHH!'

>>29312042
And Two retains undisputed title of 'most adorable thing ever'.

>>29312042
Spongebob in someway or form is canon, interesting.

>>29312190
Let's face it, we knew it.

>>29311995
LNPP characters are pure slut. Rarity in there is a thirsty bitch!

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>>29310470
Gladly
>>29311350
Someone's bout too~

>>29312293
Nooooooo


HhnnNNNNNNHGGHH

>>29312293
MY
HEART

>>29312293
Oh got damn it....

>>29312293
INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!

>>29312293
Wow, SA adopting her in E.G world would raise some interesting questions...

>>29312293
Yeeepppp, this is how I die. Completely fine way to go, I suppose.

>>29312293
Ahhhhh, now that makes sense-HHHHHHHHHBNNNNNNN

>>29312344
Its a wig, remember? I have her with short hair underneath, still not sure what color we should do, kinda want to do light pink cause pink and green have a nice combo, but I kinda wanna do blue for various obvious reasons. I'm also partial to red, real red. Not ginger.

>>29312293
>Now Ah' know what'cher thinkin', mister dragon. Boy, those Marchmalleys she's holdin' sure do look tasty, and ya' know what? Sharin' is important, r-right? Sharin with big old dragons is very, very important. So Ah' know how Ah' look, and that you dragons got a bit of a thing goin' with princesses, and Ah' am one, so instead of fightin' or stealin', let's just-NOOOOOOO!

~~~~~

"HOLY MARCHMALLEY, TWO! You broke that dragon's spine!"

>Ah' ain't got no regrets!

"I'm just happy you didn't get eaten!"

>Yeah, Ah'... wait, me!?

"Well, yeah."

>Soooo, he wasn't tryin' to eat all the marchmalleys like a jerk?

"...no."

>Oh wow, Ah' way overreacted then.

>>29312293
Kinda looks like what you get if Applejack and Star Butterfly had a kid... cute, heart on her sleeve, full of innocent mischief.

>>29312403
Is this supposed to be an EQG Two? If so, her hair would be green, wouldn't it?

Unless it's Changdeling Two which... come to think about it that whole thing brings up interesting questions for that. Do black people in that universe just change colors when they stop being dicks?

>>29312410
Pffft! Damn it, I spit coffee on my bed!

>>29312293
She seriously looks like Applejacks daughter here.

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>>29312410
>automatically assuming EQG Changelings are the blacks of that world

>>29312403
I have a very hard time picturing her having any other color hair but blonde

>>29312410
>>29312437
>not even our blacks want to be Shitlings
Perfect.

>>29312437
>Assuming they would be the only ones in that entire world who had different colored skin than literally every other counterpart from the main universe, including Diamond Dogs.
>Spike turned into a fucking dog and he kept his color scheme
>But not changelings

No, you nigga what>>29312437

>>29312405
I thought so too when I was done, then I checked and the similarities aren't all that prominent. Its more a first glance thing.

>>29312410
Not EQG Two, I'm not really feeling the EQG style much.

>>29312435
Which would only raise further questions as to why he is adopting her...

>>29312293
At the rate Schmoe keeps cranking up the cuteness factor, we will all be so desensitized by the end of this year we propably look at adorable puppies and kittens and think 'God, they're ugly.'

>>29312503
Appledead.

It's a family tradition.

>>29312293
>>29312514
Either that or we flip the meter over and find the most mundane and horrible things as heart breaking.

We will be walking down the street and suddenly spot a cup on the ground, and fall over in heart attack.

>>29312503
"My Husbands Daughter" doesn't have the same joke factor to it.

Also, look at that face, tell me they would not just be jealous that they didn't get to adopt her first.

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>>29312522
>We will be walking down the street and suddenly spot a cup on the ground, and fall over in heart attack.

>>29312293
INSPIRATION!
NC
>Two
"SA"
~~~

>SHINY SHINY SHINY! Look what I can do!

FWOOSH!

"GAH!.. What the heck!?"

>Auntie Twilight said everyone on the other side of the mirror looked just like this!

"That's... nice, sweetie?"

>Yeah, Ah'm super nice!

"Well, you certainly look, interesting..."

>Shiny?

"Yes?"

>Ah' don't know why but Ah' really want to brush your mane, ride on your back and ask for you for Hearth's Warming, a lot.

"Twilight warned me about this."

>W-well?

"...Let me get my brush."

>YAY!

>>29312631
Shining giving her a pony back ride should not be as sweet as it is..

>>29312631
FOLLOWUP INSPIRATION
NC

>Two
"SA"
'Sunset'
-Twilight-
~~~

'So this is what Equestria and the Empire joining hands to bring me low amounts me?! Useless! Uselessuselessuseless! Pretty for your... ah...'

>Hi!

'Aaaaaaah...'

>Auntie Twilight told me ta talk to you some, so here ah am!

'...'

>...

leap!

glomp!

'Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'

>Yay, hugs!

~~~

"That went... surprisingly well. "

-Told you that's her weakness.-

"Great. Now we just have to apprehend the others and... uh... Twily?"

-Yes, BBBFF?-

"Is... is she making Two rub her belly?"

-Seems like it. I am actually a bit jealous. Hands are AMAZING for petting!-

"What."

>>29312691
NC
>Chitania
"Two"
'SA'
~~

>FOOL! DO YOU REALLY THINK SOMETHING SO PITIFUL COULD SWAY ME!? You only send your daughter to be my power, I shall drain her dry and use her very essence to destroy you! I shall-

"BOOP!"

>GAH!.. What happened!? What just happened!? What was that!? What did you do!? WHAT DID YOU DO!?

"Boop!"

>It happened again! Make it stop! I don't like this!

"Boop boop boop!"

>CEASE THIS AT ONCE!

"Ah'mma boop ya'! boop yer' nosey!"

>MY NOSE! Aha! You can't get them now!

"Boop!"

>CURSE YOU HOOF HOLES! BETRAYED BY BIOLOGY!

"Boop!"

>MAKE IT STOOOOOPPPPP!

'Everything went better than expected.'

"Boop!

>>29312631
>>29312691
>>29312716
>My little Pony villains brought low by a little girl.
Yep. Checks out. I'd watch it.

>>29312728
Her power is maximum!

>>29312293
I want to say >No hooves, but it's too cute!

>>29312818
The power of Schmoe is ever growing! He must be stopped, I don't wanna love cups!

>>29312818
>>29312835
And we can't even ask our old buddy Satan because he too had become of Schmoe's pull.

Can... can it be possible that we actually need to invoke THE LIAM on purpose? My God...

>>29312856
Gasp! No not The Liam of Neeson, too many /pa/l's have fallen! No more!

>>29312856
>Saying his name like that

We don't joke about that shit.

>Luna
“Potsticker’
~~~

>…Do we really have to do this during the day?

“That’s usually when press conferences are held, yes.”

>But the night would be so much more of a delightful time to hold it!

“I’m not going to argue that, but the problem is that not a whole lot of others are… awake?”

>But our sales have been through the roof!

“What?”

>Nothing! Ignore us!

“As you wish, majesty.”

>But we shall have to break the mold, and be a trail blazer! We are the Princess, and we shall decide when the conference is to be held! After the moon has risen to it’s fullest height, then we shall speak to our subjects!

“Okay, you’re the princess.”

>WE ARE!

“…So now what? Are you going to prepare a speech?”

>Speech?

“You know, that’s the point of the conference.”

>We thought it would just be simply telling them what has occurred.

“Fair enough, but what about if someone asks if she’s dangerous?’

>Then we shall simply say we do not know!

“Is there going to be more universal imports?”

>We don’t know!

“Is this going to destabilize our universe?’

>We don’t know!

“Is she coming to take our jobs?”

>Not our job!

“…”

>How did we do?

“Maybe we need to work a bit more.”

>We thought we did fine, thou art being a silly.

“…This is going to be fun.”

>AJ
“Celestia”
‘Fluttershy’
~Rarity~
(Twilight)
~~~

>ALRIGHT! We need to bring this here princess meeting to order!

“Oh dear mother we’re still doing these things.”

>Dang straight, and we’re not gonna stop doing things- wait, does this feel off to anyone else? Where’s Luna?

“She’s working on something and screamed “MINE!” at me before shutting the door.”

>Makes sense. But where’s Cadence?

“I don’t know, I sent a guard over and he just came back talking about time out.”

>Right…

‘Why am I here?’

>Princess meeting.

‘…you do remember that I’m-‘

~Darling, you’re always welcome!~

(But not Pinkie or Dash, apparently?)

>Wow, they got the short end of the stick, thinking about it. Hey, Celestia, about-

“NO MORE PRINCESSES!”

>Oh sure, now you say that.

~Okay, I was on your side until that sideline glance.~

(Now girls, let’s not fight who should or should not be princesses, especially when only one of us actually did something for it.)

~You did one spell. Actually? Worse than that, you fixed a spell you broke and turned what you messed up back to normal. You didn’t make anything better, you made it the same as if you’d never been there.~

(…Celestia? Jump in here.)

“It was a super hard spell that even I couldn’t finish.”

>So then, ya’ don’t deserve to be a princess?

“Wow did I lump myself in with the wrong side.”

(HEY!)

>You trained her, it’s all your fault.

“I KNOOOWWW!... Sorry, force of habit.”

‘That says some worrying things…’

>Can we please stay focused!

~Alright, darling. On what?~

>On princesses!... WAIT NO-

“Back in my day, there was only the one princess, but theeennn someone just had to fight a magic necklace, and the floodgates opened.”

~You opened them!~

“I KNOOOWWW!”

>DANG IT!

>>29313229
Princess meetings! They are back! Hallelujah!

>>29313229
>No more princesses!

Went to close the barn door way too late with that one

>Night Guard
“56”
‘Night Guards’
~~~

“Oh boy oh boy oh boy!”

>That is exactly the wrong reaction to have to this.

“Dude, this is awesome! We get to watch over moons while she’s giving her press conference! We get to be shapes in the shadows, wha-CHA!”

‘Told you the new shade was going to lose it.’

‘That would be impressive if literally everyone else didn’t say the same thing.’

‘Not everyone, obviously. Pretty close, but one of us was wrong. Ehhh?’

‘It was him. He said he wasn’t going to lose it. It doesn’t count if it’s him!’

‘I disagree.’

>Now, Shade, pay attention! You cannot be bouncing around and happy and all screamy, unlike some of us!

‘ONE TIME! And it wasn’t even me!’

‘Yeah, your mouth was full.’

‘SHUT IT!’

‘We caught you going down on your changeling baby-daddy and we are never, ever going to let you live it down.’

‘Species of stealth my ass…’

‘Speaking of-‘

‘Exit only, pal! Unless you’re StarBright.’

‘HEY!’

‘If you can make fun of me for mine, we can all make fun of finding you face down with your coltfriend on your back!’

‘It was years ago!’

‘Yeah, well, I needed a distraction!’

‘And it worked.’

>EXCUSE ME!

‘Yes, vice commander? Wait, why are you holding his ears?’

>Princesses orders.

“WHAT!?”

‘Do you have to do that every time we talk about it?’

>Yes.

‘That sounds awful.’

>I get paid three hundred bits extra a week.’

‘WHAT!?’

“WHAT!?”

>Damn straight.

‘…The princess is doomed.’

“WHAT!?”

>>29313555
>>Damn straight.
Lost my shit there. I could just picture that face.

>>29313555
I love the family aspect of these guys.

>Rarity
"Guard'
~~~

>GUARD!

"GAH!... How do you sneak up on me like that?! I should hear you coming a mile away!'

>I'm going to ignore that for my own sanity.

"I don't see why you would."

>HUSH! For I have decided to use you!

"I've dreamed about this day for the last ten years of service and I am raring and ready to go!"

>As a messenger to call the ones I need!

"This is not my fetish."

>I've decided it's finally time to put my hoof down on the businesses of Canterlot, and especially the glass ceiling for 'rural' ponies!

"Is this racist? I feel like it's racist."

>And the diversity problem needs to be addressed!

"I cannot for the life of me tell which way you're trying to swing that."

>And of course, I cannot let the taxation issue go on as it has!

"Taxing who? This conversation is pulling me in all sorts of ways."

>It's time for Rarity to be a princess, and when I'm through not a one of them will be able to believe what blew them over!

"This shouldn't be my fetish but it makes me feel things."

>And no matter how hard they come at me, I'm going to hold my ground and take them all!

"Strange developments are happening and I want them to stop."

>Get me the biggest and highest business owners you can find!

"Yes ma'am!"

>Oh! And also go ask Spikey-Wikey if he wants to sit in. I don't think he'll be able to do much, but he'd probably love to watch and maybe chime in. And you know he loves helping wherever he can.

"This answers so many questions, and I understand them."

>Well? Off you go!

"Yes ma'am!"

>This is going to end beautifully or disappointing. Oh well, it's the in between that matters, after all!

"Stop it stop it, I'm already ruined!"

>...Now what do you suppose he meant by that?

>>29313768
Rarity! The corrupter!

Oh god hooman Two is consuming my mind now!

>>29313852
At least I know to prepare myself this time

>>29313946
Bracing for impact will do NOTHING! Mwhahaha!

>77
“Harry”
~~

>Did you fluff the pillows?

“GRRUGGHHH!”

>Yes, it is your job, don’t you backsass me!

“GRUGGGHHH!”

>No, I know I told you to also bake them some cookies, but the cookies are second! Nobody wants to eat a cookie on an unfluffed pillow!

“GURRRHHH!”

>No, I know you already got the milk, and I know nobody wants to dip a cookie in warm mile, but that’s on you!

“Gurrghhhh!”

>You didn’t even get the good cups for the milk! They’ll get warm in their grip, Harry! They’ll be warm before you even get to them!

“Gruggh?”

>No I don’t know how holding something with hooves works either, shut up!

“GURGGHHH!”

>Well fine! Then I guess we’ll both just sit here and the prisoners upstairs in the town hall guest rooms won’t get any cookies! Is that what you want!? Is that what you want!?

“…gurrrggh.”

>Good. Thank you. I’m… I’m sorry I snapped at you. You don’t deserve that, you’re a good deputy. You’re way better than anyone else in town, and beyond.

“Gurggh.”

>…

“…Gurggh?’

>Considering how long it took to hire me? I’d say we’ll see our prison sometimes around the birth of my second child.

>>29314094
I like how he can actually understand him now..,

>>29314094
We have our litmus test! If she gets it up within a month, she really will have changed.

>Screwloose
“Gaffer”
‘8-Bit’
~~~~

>Annnnd… snip, snip… done! How’s that feel on a scale of one to ten?

“Like I’ve got a swarm of fire ants rabidly gnawing at my very flesh.”

>So, what, like a modest four? Low five?

“Sure.”

>Then I am of the utmost pleased. And look! I even ended the stitch in a neat little bow!

‘That can totally get caught on something and wind up being ripped apart.’

“It’s the thought that counts, 8-Bit-”

>Exactly, it’s the thought that counts!

“-even if said thought emerged from a curdled cesspool of pain.”

>Well, see, now you just sound like an ungrateful ass. I’m starting to see why you guys and Bubbleboy don’t mix well anymore.

“You know what, I can’t even muster up the strength to argue that point.”

‘Quite possibly because it’s true.’

“You know what else is true? My leg feels like she stitched in some acid.”

>Oh wah wah, you big baby. I didn’t bitch nowhere near as much as you when I cut off my own hoof.

‘Wait, you actually did that? I thought you were joking!’

>Now why would I joke about that?

“Oh, I dunno, maybe because you’re fucking crazy?”

>Insane. Learn the difference, Gabby. And when you’ve got a parasitic organism threatening to take over your very consciousness, shit starts to get very clear. Lose an arm, or lose myself? The choice was easy.

‘I have so many questions about that now.’

1/3

>>29314323

>And unfortunately, I don’t have even a second to waste answering them because wouldn’t you know it, shift’s over! But let me just say, while you two are the most inept duo I’ve come across in quite some time, you sure do provide some great entertainment.

“I… you mean this injury? Seriously? Me hurting myself is your idea of entertainment?”

>What? No, that was just funny. I was actually referring to your work ethic. It’s fun to watch you two numbskulls throw yourselves into an area you have absolutely zero expertise in, that you have no chance of success with. It’s refreshing in a way, that commitment… I don’t see it often enough. Whenever you two fucks screw up, that’s virtually the only thing that keeps me smiling when I fix your mistake. ‘At least they’re trying,’ I think…. I think that, then I think maybe I can do my own thing, with my own magic....

She lapsed into silence with the smallest of nods, not even looking at Gaffer anymore, but instead at the ground, the remnants of something fond flickering in her eyes.

Both stallions look up, exchanging glances. Then, in unison, they moved, Gaffer steadying himself on hooves that wobbled for a few seconds before firming and 8-Bit sliding from his chair. To the corner they went, hanging up their white coats, then to Screwloose, bumping shoulders with the manic mare on their way past.

“Welp, see you tomorrow, boss.”

‘Catch ya later, clown horse!’

The urge to chuck something very large and very heavy after their retreating forms was almost too strong to ignore- her hoof certainly twitched- but Screwloose fought it and fell back on her haunches with a wide-mawed yawn.

>Ngh…

2/3

>>29314340

That coppery stench of blood, the droplets spilled that hadn’t been wiped up, and those tissues… Her nose crinkled as she glanced about the workplace. It was a right mess of discarded pieces and balled up notes amongst other bits of trash. She had let them go without cleaning their areas first.

>...Ah well, fuck it.

Twelve would probably wonder where she was, and her escort guard to and from the office would surely sound the alarm, but as Screwloose began to tiredly walk in circles, all the worry from those outcomes were lost on her.

She curled up comfortably on the ground, using her tail as a chinrest as her eyes began to droop. Today had been tiring, and struggling to keep her panic at bay concerning Gaffer’s injury was more taxing than she thought it’d be….

So she would sleep here, surrounded by science and the possibility of new creations.

>…nnnn… hooves cold….

And probably dream of buying a hoof warmer.

3/3

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>>29312284
I resent that. The characters are playfully suggestive.

>>29314349
OK, that was cute.

>>29314349
Still a puppy at heart.

Jesus, just went 'Tanya the Evil' with Two, freaking scary.

>>29314567
I don't know who that is but I don't like that.

>>29314567
I got a loli nazi when I googled.

Why did you make me google a loli nazi.

>>29314594
Why did you choose to Google? It was your choice to go on a quest for knowledge not mine. I'm completely faultless.

>>29314567
I fell Satan would like Two this way

>>29314349
Those two are assholes!

At least they would be if she was anyone else.

>>29314567
TWO IS ONLY FOR CUTE

CUTE

Goodnight, thread.

>>29315264
Night anon

>>29314594
>loli nazi
Okay I was amused and it has my attention. I've bookmarked it for later.

>>29314567
Okay, now I'm worried how this is going to turn out.

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>>29316058
This response worries me greatly

>>29316363
Who did this!? Was it chu string bean!?

https://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/2ac2q6/pushing_princess_applejack_for_summerslam/

>>29316653
Wasn't me! I swear!

>>29314349
Ok

But why are they getting Mexico-tier surgery in the first place?

>>29316653
REDDIT GET OUT REDDIT GET OUT REDDIT GET OUT REDDIT GET-

>2 years ago

THE DAMAGE HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE

ABANDON THREAD

>>29317154
Metal hoof got dropped on Gaffers hoof by accident earlier on.

>>29317166
It's too late. It's part of us now

>SweepsMgee
“Panner”
~~~

>They’ve gotten pretty far with the cleaning.

“That they have.”

>Prettty far.

“Much further than expected.”

>You know what I’ve just noticed?

“Go for it.”

>They’re pretty far.

“They are.”

>But not so far.

“Not that far.”

>If someone were to, say, jump in, they’d get pretty much all the credit, but almost half of the work.

“Interesting observation.”

>It is.

“…”

>…Got my broom.

“And I’ve got mine.”

>>29318132
Jesus I forgot all these ponies existed.

>Guard
“Guard2”
~~~~

>…

“…”

>…

“…”

>…so what do we actually do in order to get back into the swing of things?

“I don’t know…”

>SA
"18"
'Manager'
~~~

>Are you serious?!

"Mare, I am hopped up on energy drinks and full of love, you'd better start explaining before I start punching!"

If the mare in question had any fear that she would follow through on that threat, she did an admirable job hiding it. Instead, she calmly moved her glasses, and sighed.

'No one company is buying it, no government body is buying it, it's all going to our office supply distributors.'

Shining Armor gave Eighteen the most flabbergasted of look, one she shared with equal flabbergast.

>So it doesn't just go straight from factory to pony!?

"That's-"

'Completely understandable because what four year old thinks that private organizations buy something directly from a factory instead of the stores or mass suppliers it came from?'

Eighteen gave Shining the most flabbergasted of look, one she shared with equal flabbergast.

>...Wow, uh, I feel silly.

"Not really feeling my 'smartest changeling' title, no."

>Huh. Can we get those distributors, please? We're running an investigation into where a max influx of paperwork is originating.

'Sure.'

"Thank youuu! And thank you for being so helpful!"

'I really shouldn't have been.'

"We have our lead!"

'Which should have been the start.'

>Let's do this! TO THE MYSTERY MOBILE!

"Dunnununnnun!"

SLAM!

'...I'd still vote for them if it came up.'

>>29318545
... You know what's weird?

That's an oddly "kids show" mentality to have

>>29318281
Story of half the cast.

>7
"PJ"
~~~

>...So, uh... nice getup.

"Nice cloak."

>You like it? I like it.

"It makes you look like a creeper."

>Thanks.

"HA! I love that you take that as a compliment."

>I love that you think I don't know you find creeps attractive.

"Oooo~ little Seven hitting on a flake? That's new."

>I can't control what you love.

"HA! Sure, buddy."

>..So, uh...

"..."

>...Has the Queen asked about me?

"Knew it!"

>I HAVE TO KNOW!

>>29318872
She doesn't love you!

Accept it!

>>29319023
Java Mama does, and she's the embodiment of all her good traits, the one she keeps buried knowingly and not. She remembered 29 while on the bean, I'm sure she loves him too.

>Chrysalis
"Changeling"
~~~~

>...Hoooo...

Breath in.
Breath out.

>...Greatest Queen.

The smile on the reflection looking back at her was a winner, pure and simple. Power arced from her horn in telling little waves, enough to cast down her face in that delightful green glow that always gave it that perfect little look.

Her eyes sparkled with a wicked pride as her fangs emerged, white and clean and shining, just like any powerhouse should be.

Muscles rippled, her neck went taught, and the breath that escaped her was slow as it was deliberate. The tension was long since gone.

She was back.

>...AHEM!

With a single bark of her command, a changeling fell down from where he had been so carefully hidden, obeying without question as he should. He bowed, silently waiting for her orders to come, and be obeyed without a second thought.

>How has the progress been coming along on Forty Two's little side project?

"Useful."

He was short, curt, and to the point, everything a good solider should be.

>Excellent, then I have a mission for you, and others.

"Whatever you command, my Queen. Who shall I bring?"

>Gather at least five of her trainees with you, that should be more than sufficient for what I intend.

"As you wish."

>Take them, and the scarabs.

He looked up, a touch of confusion on his face even if he dared not to speak it. Not a single bit of annoyance slipped through, as expected of a true Queen, when she waved her hoof to a nearby section of the wall.

It changed, much like any changeling could, and with a low hum of her magic she summoned the four beetle looking emblems from their hiding place, before delivering them to the open hooves of her summoned subject.

"I... had no idea you could make these still."

>You doubted me?

It was cruel to watch him flinch and bow his head, that much was simple fact. She would still enjoy it, for the moment.

She was still the Queen, after all.

1/3

>>29319177

>The construction of the scarabs take time, and magic. I've been... preoccupied. No matter, with the focal point of the castle to hone in on, that magic should be able to reach me no matter how far you may roam. Call upon me if you find the need, but let us hope that we've no use for it. It is merely a precaution...

She flicked her hoof down, enough to poke at his forehead and give a subtle little rub.

>Wouldn't want anything to happen to a lost group again, would we?

"N-... no majesty, especially not with a mission so vital."

>Clearly.

She flicked him on his head before trotting away, a new smile gracing her lips.

>You're to head out to the Griffon lands, be sure to charge enough love for the trip, and a little extra in case something... unfortunate should occur.

"The griffons, Majesty? Their Queen would surely order us out, if not slain."

She cackled, unable to hold in the amusement at the mere thought of someone of the Queen's power ever standing close to her own, or her armies. The one who had been unable to even slow the Titan down held little chance of standing against the one who had proven her equal, if not her greater.

>You need not worry about that.

"I do not fear their attempt, I only wish to confirm your orders in case we must lay waste to them-"

>Nothing like that at all.

Perhaps she was a little too insistent, a little too quick, but a Queen was nothing if she was not prompt and well understood.

>You need not fear anything like that. For you see, you will not be going to Gryphonia.

His eyes so curious looked up to her, and she rewarded his curiosity with a smile.

>There are... other griffons, after all. Ones who claimed themselves independent a long time ago, and according to my scouts have been rather... lacking, as of late. They're lacking in homes, and health, and life. No, my little one, you are not an invader, and I very much doubt you need to fear a single battle to take place. No, no this time. This time...

2/3

>>29319184

She leaned in, close enough he could see into her sparkling eyes, close enough he could read the truth and the honesty hidden behind her every word, and be rid of any such idea that she was anything but as she said she was.

>...This time, you are emissaries of the new, glorious Changeling Empire, and your first mission is a peaceful one. However, for the record... you are still a changeling.

She leaned back, and her smile took on an impish slant.

>As such, if any of them try to rob you, do show them why we are the ones who remained hidden all these years.

His nod was curt as it was quick.

>Excellent, most excellent. My little changeling, gather your five fellows, for you are off.

With a swing most dramatic of her hoof, she pointed to the distance. She smiled with power, and with glee, and without fear. She grinned at the sight of it all, the massive land that lied beyond, and the possibilities that lied in wait.

Every beat of her cherished heart was filled with all the thoughts of all that she could be.

>Off you go to Griffonstone... and our newest allies.

The rebirth of the changeling kingdom had begun.

"...Majesty, you're pointing in the wrong direction-"

>I know shut up, the angle is important.

"Angle for what?"

>Shut up I said!

The world could not hope to be ready.

>>29319191
...still Chrysalis.

>>29319191
I guess you could say she's... Back in Black?

>>29319089
>She loves you... !
>...when she's taking mind altering substances, at least

My laughter couldn't have been any more evil that it just had been.

>>29319220
EVERYTHING MUST SOUND CREEPY

EVERYTHING

>>29319191
REGIME CHANGE CUNTS

FUCK OFF

>>29319361
>REGIME CHANGE CUNTS

... the fuck?

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>>29319184
>"I do not fear their attempt, I only wish to confirm your orders in case we must lay waste to them-"
>>29319191
>>As such, if any of them try to rob you, do show them why we are the ones who remained hidden all these years.

The best in stealth, the best in mind control, the best in open warfare... how the guys who are good at everything and trump any opposing force with ease aren't the ANTAGONISTS anymore is beyond me.

Being undeceatable really wicks the tension or danger of any opposing forces and makes the possibility of minor conflicts moot. No. Everything had to be Chitania level with these chucklefucks.

It's pretty bad, from a writers point of view, and impossible to change. They've been established as anal wreckers and don't even fear an entire army when it's just three of them now. I am just short of just throwing what little foreign politics snippets I have into the wastebin now.

>>29319370
>>There are... other griffons, after all. Ones who claimed themselves independent a long time ago, and according to my scouts have been rather... lacking, as of late. They're lacking in homes, and health, and life
>>...This time, you are emissaries of the new, glorious Changeling Empire, and your first mission is a peaceful one.

>Buttering up independence grumbling Gryphons about the wonders of the Changelings
>"""mission of peace"""

Literally how is this not Chrysalis planning to undermine the Gryphonstone griffs to replace them with thoroughly changeling-loyal gryphon majority instead.

>>29319400
Shhh... Just watch the show man!

>>29319396
>I am just short of just throwing what little foreign politics snippets I have into the wastebin now
.
Don't do that, post them, we'll make them work

>>29319396
...You, uh, you forgetting something, anon?

Something Chrysalis doesn't know about because the poners don't know?

Something that is going to be Dropping like a Penny drop the Empire state building?

The show kind of wrote is into a corner but unequivocally saying "Yes, these guys could wreck Canterlot's entire army, and the EOH, even when they were prepared and saw them coming while they were smacking into a shield." and later "Yes, these guys are so stealthy they could literally replace EVERY PONY LEADER, or even hero, and nobody would notice unless they personally saw Chrysalis cackling like a bitch."

But, as with other things, we've been writing our way out.

>>29319400
Now, when you say replace...

>>29319445
>But, as with other things, we've been writing our way out.

We still haven't found a way to overcome the "Every changeling is a tiny-Alicorn compared to any other regular creature" powerlevel problem

>>29319400
I didn't think of that, but that sounds super interesting.

>>29319472
We gradually have with the advancements and the infusions.

>>29319482
>the advancements
???
>The infusions
So far haven't managed to do jack shit against Chayyngelings

>>29319400
>Politics based conflict about trying to sway public opinion with everyone on both sides unsure what it means

I am rock hard right now

>>29319501
Screwloose was saying she wanted to find a way to destroy the Changelings, or at least weaken them. I mean, I doubt she could do it but she's still about that life so there is that, I guess.

>>29319508
>Screwloose
INTO

THE

TRASH

>>29319501
>>the advancements

...GIANT
FUCKING
ROBOTS

Sure, Chrysalis could stand against them and take them on mono-e-mono, but what the fuck is someone like random-changeling49 going to do against them?

And EVERYONE IS GETTING ONE

>So far haven't managed to do jack shit against Chayyngelings

Because they've literally never been used against them. Ever. Not one time, seriously.

The changelings as an army haven't been in a major conflict since Variolus, the mobs thankfully didn't turn into a violent conflict.

>>29319513
You know what, I'd like to see her accomplish her goals, and then watch the reactions from everyone here and in the story. I feel that'd be priceless, and probably immediately labeled NC no matter how much sense it made.

>>29319515
The changelings as an army could probably decimate the entire pony world, and the only reason they haven't already is because we purposefully made them thick as all fuck when the series started.

Do you honestly believe there is a way, given our current standing point of OP-fuckery, that the Changelings can be beat? I don't, and no, I don't count Chitania and her fuck-ups that weren't really her fuck-ups and constantly getting 'beat' without getting beat as losing, either, and Chrysalis gets wrecked all the time due to her own actions, not through any weakness on her part.

>>29319551
>The changelings as an army could probably decimate the entire pony world, and the only reason they haven't already is because we purposefully made them thick as all fuck when the series started.

Nooooo, we made them unable to stand against Discord, who easily curbstomped them and terrorized Chrysalis for upwards of 30 threads before Fluttershy called it quits. Fun fact, despite Chitania eventually tricking her way into an Anti-Discord weapon, Chrysalis has found no such thing. She's still as vulnerable against Fluttershy or Discord right now as she was at the start of the series. Yes, I know, the throne, but we haven't introduced that yet.

So to answer your question
>Do you honestly believe there is a way, given our current standing point of OP-fuckery, that the Changelings can be beat?

>Step 1, Discord snaps his fingers
>Step 2, there is no step two because Discord already went back and did step -1 and it's over

>Do you honestly believe there is a way, given our current standing point of OP-fuckery, that the Changelings can be beat?

GIANT
FUCKING
ROBOTS

>>29319592
So. Basically. The only way to beat the most OP is with the single most OP there ever was/will be (and Fluttershy).

...That has got to be the most backhanded 'well, there's this at least' answer I've ever heard. Every character has at least five different ways they can be brought down, except Changelings, and you think that'd be something simple to rectify for a species that lives off...

Huh. Nevermind. Carry on.

>>29319653
>Every character has at least five different ways they can be brought down, except Changelings,

Name one for Fluttershy.

ONE.

>>29319653
>and you think that'd be something simple to rectify for a species that lives off...

If you were gonna say love, then you must remember this most important maxim

>The amount of Love Energy a changeling can have stored and use in any fight scene is as much or as little as the writer demands.

>>29319678
Ha, I honestly didn't think I had to mention her with the above
>single most OP there ever was/will be (and Fluttershy)

>>29319687
Wow. That's a bit fast and loose for something so critical to whether or not a victory or defeat can be had, isn't it?

>>29319687
Pretty much, yeah. Just like
>How long or short Spike's limbs are depends entirely on what kind of crazy move the writing wants him to do
or
>How much weight DT can carry around is however much she needs to blow stuff up
or
>How long Twilight can do magic before collapsing
or
>How strong the average unicorn is(COUGHCOUGHSTARLIGHTGLIMMERCOUGHT)
or
>How much Sunset knows in technology/how strong she is in magic
or
>How long Chitania's giant form can take punishment before she shrinks down
or
>How long Discord can be around Fluttershy's absorbing magic

And so on.

That said, we're actually remarkably consistent with the changelings. The amount of work most writers put into how much Chrysalis had/can hold/can last during her fight scenes was rather well done.

Forty Two, for instance, never does over the top attacks unless she's in burnout mode(So, one time), 18 doing her superspeed shreked her body despite it not being in action, and nobody else really has done anything huge. We never say they have unlimited love, or anything like that, so it's not exactly accurate, but I wouldn't put it past a writer to fluff it out for an action scene.

>>29319743
We've never actually broken limits for how much a changeling has obviously if they're meant to survive with it for a long periods of time it's meant to be quite a lot, and the battle with Canterlot at the wedding showed they're not stingy with lasers, so that statement isn't true at all. We do keep consistent with how much love they have.

...now, how much those damn giant robots can do...

>>29319653
>. Every character has at least five different ways they can be brought down, except Changelings,

>Outfighting them(The EOH at the wedding/Spike in the fights with them later)
>Overpowering them with better numbers(Variolus's forces)
>Shooting them with more power(Twilight/Shining at the wedding)
>Outsmarting them(Numerous occasions)
>Trapping them(Chrysalis VS Chitania)
>Draining them(has to be another changeling)
>Bullets (007 getting fucked over by Spike)
>Something big hitting them (Chitania or the Metal Deers)
>Dragons
>Rocks(77 and crew)

You know what I'mma just stop here and call bullshit. If 42 can take on Chitania, you can figure out some way for a regular pony to win, even if it's a one in a million chance. Because one in a million chances are entertaining.

>>29319794
>you can figure out some way for a regular pony to win
Too right you are, /pa/l. If you don't like how the table is set, flip over the damn table.

>>29319396
>moot
literally who?

CD
>007
"PJ"
~~~

>You look ridiculous.

Potatojack's scoff was so loud that somewhere in the world Blueblood was gearing to admonish someone without realizing why, and rolled her eyes at the only other being in the sealed room.

"Not about the looks, pure-boy."

She let out a tiny raspberrry as she smiled with glee, putting some last minute adjustments on the helmet now on her head.

"Crank light on the side so it never runs out, durable enough to take a hit, little slip cover in here for some matches, this baby is made for survival!"

>We aren't going camping.

"And I never said this was going to be a picnic."

Like a filly in a candy shop, she started picking things off the wall. A folding knife she strapped to her right foreleg, a spray can she hooked to her left, and a tiny rucksack placed just overtop of the gas can on her back, careful not to disturb the fuel canister that gave her gear it's power.

>You're not worried about being weighed down?

"Let's just say I can handle a heavy weight on my back."

PJ looked back, and gave him a wink of her eye while she swished her tail.

>I don't doubt that.

"Don't you pretend, mister S-class infiltrator."

>Was never assigned to one of those missions, sorry to disappoint.

"Ahhhh, but would you have done it, if the Queen told you to?"

Seven's eyes started to dart around with internal conflict, and PJ couldn't help but laugh.

"Thought so."

>I never said yes.

"It's the conflict that makes it all worth while. Watching you squirm is the light of my day."

>Still hate me, I take it?

PJ spun around, her face nothing but grins as she trotted right up to him.

"I hate the act, not the ling. You? I got a bit of respect for you."

>Oh?

She poked him in the chest, shooting it up to flick him in the nose when he made the mistake to look down, and holding it's place under his nose.

1/4

>>29320142

"Yeah, you're a survivor, like me. Not a whole lot of changelings like that, you know. Most are 'oh, I'd so die for whoever! And I'd do it with a smile!' Even the ones who don't follow the Queen like Eighteen or Forty Two? They'd jump in front of a bullet for the others the moment the offer came up, and they'd bleed out smiling. That little ass-lover? He'd take a laser to the heart for that big assed princess and he'd do it without blinking. Pretty much all of them do that.'

>Not you?

"Ha! I'm not going to pretend I wouldn't push Bluey or Haymaker out of the way if they were in the line of fire, but I'd fucking hate it while I was dying on the ground. I'd be pissed at myself for messing up and not surviving. I'm not going to say I wouldn't do it, but damn, I'd never forgive myself. Not so different yourself, are you?"

Her hoof curled enough to lock his nostril into one of the hooks of her hoof holes, and brought him in close.

"You'd probably die for your cause, but you'd fucking hate it, wouldn't you?"

Seven remained silent.

"You don't have to pretend, I understand."

>I simply have a lot to live for.

He answered curt and short, and it made her smile.

"See? Knew you were smart."

>I can honestly say I thought I'd never hear praise from you.

"I give it when it's deserved, big guy."

She let him go at last, but he never moved.

>There's more.

"Obviously. Let's just say I'm always open to others with a similar mindset to mine. I know you have certain, let's just call them opinions on me being a 'flake', but you also see when sometimes, the mind trumps biology, right?"

>...Go on.

She leaned in, her voice dropping to a near impossible to hear whisper.

"I'm just throwing it out there that if you wanted someone to watch your back, wouldn't it be one who's not going to put the success of the mission above their lives? If it came down to blowing up Chitania, who do you think Spike would choose? Saving me, or saving Equestria?"

2/4

>>29320159

The corner of his cheek twitched, and a lightbulb went off above his head.

"But if, say, someone who knew that getting out of there to fight another day was more important, and that keeping their fellow's alive was a surefire way to lock that in, which one would you say would give the best chance of survival? Who would you rather put your chips behind if you wanted to make it out alive, someone who would die for Equestria, or someone who would live to defend her another day?"

Slowly, he began to smile.

>I see. So you want me to help keep you alive, is that it?

Her hoof shot out, pressing hard into his chest.

"Now, don't go thinking this is going to be a one way street, if one of us goes selfish, the whole thing is broken. If you're ready to drop me if things get hairy, I won't trust you. And I get it, if you think I'm ready to keep going when you trip on the final run to escape, you're not going to risk that much to keep me alive. Point is, if you want someone to help the changelings, help you, then you'd better be willing to actually watch my back on this."

>Fair enough, but how I can assume the same with you? After all, if survival is paramount, and one of us has to choose between our safety or the other..

"You agree to this, and I'll make sure you're going to wake up tomorrow in a bed with whoever you went home to celebrate with. Promise. I know that sometimes, you just need two bodies, and the other one makes all the difference between survival and death."

>You're asking me to trust you, a lot.

She smiled.

"And I'm trying really hard to trust you, a lot. But if you get what you want, I'll get what I want, and we both get to be very happy. So, we got a deal?"

He pretended to ponder it for all of a single minute, before he nodded.

3/4

>>29320163

>Well, I suppose I am pretty good at mutual benefit.

"I'll believe it when I see it. Well?"

Their hooves connected, and they shook on the matter, holding on for far too long in an attempted show of power.

"Consider it done. Seven?"

She smiled as bright as the sun before she leaned forwards, throwing a foreleg around his shoulders and rubbing her cheek against his before flicking him on the nose with the tip of her hoof.

"I feel like this is the start of a wonderful friendship."

Soon, he smiled as well, and his own foreleg wrapped around her midsection and pulled her closer.

>If nothing else, it'll be... interesting.

The deal was sealed.

>>29320167
>CD tag
Holy shit haven't seen that one in a while.
Not sure what's CD about this though...

>>29320184
I'm not the author to the whole invasion thing, so I didn't want to step on any plans.

>>29320167
Is "needlessly sexy" a thing?

I feel like it should be a thing.

>>29320209
>Implying 007 would ever cheat his Science Waifu

>>29320254
Him and Scifu apparently aren't in a committed relationship, he even says they're not dating.

Which is why the gates are wide open for the real Pure-Waifu Buttercup! Her swole arms are made for hugging!

>>29320200
Side-characterazation to fill in the gaps between parts is ALWAYS welcome, and encouraged, as it adds new layers that can develop during the future parts of the story. Shoot, I'd encourage someone coming in and doing major parts if they've got a kickass idea, I roll with pretty much anything. When we introduced alt-realities and Sunset fixing Flash, it fit in seamlessly with a little thought, and thinking those things up is half the fun. So, go ahead and jump in and write whenever and wherever you feel you want to, and we'll build together. It's the /pa/ way.

>>29320167
Oh sure, the LINGs are the sneaky ones!

I've forgotten, is Harmony Prime human shaped or Equine shaped? Or did we assume human shaped off what its based off? And its all to be determined?

>>29320357
Human shaped, it's mentioned to have hands on several occasions.

>>29320375
Alright, just making sure... Any chance... Its actually anthropomorphic? it might make a bit of sense to make it so. Pony themed and all?

>>29320392
... Schmoe? Are you the one planning the return of Harmony Prime? Are you making art!? TELL ME!

>>29320167
...This is making me feel things.

>>29320392
>>29320415
I'll agree to it if its Schmoe, I believe he could make it look... Acceptable.

>>29320415
>>29320703
Yeeeeah its me. I kind of want to have the rebuilding process illustrated a bit.

>>29320827
I am down for this!

>Spike
"DT"
'Silver Spoon'
~~~

>You think I should wear the codpiece?

"...WHAT!?"

>My codpiece, should I? I want a second opinion.

'Why are you asking us that!?'

>Well, I figured you two would have an answer. You know, you seem like you know a thing or two about armor.

"...WHAT!?'

>Codpiece on or off, what do you think?

'I... why would you want to wear a codpiece?'

>I just want to protect the important bits, you know? The big bits.

"...what?"

>What?

"Big bits?"

>...I'm a grower, not a shower.

'Pfft.'

>HEY!

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but how was I supposed to react to that?'

>You could say size doesn't matter to a mare.

'...'

>Ohhhhhhhh ho ho.

"...H-ha! Good one, Silver."

'You don't have to pretend you know what I'm talking about.'

"Of course I do, it's guns. His gun? Tiiinnnny. His bullets have to come out one by one. He's not like Sexy. That guy? When his payload comes, it decimates everything!"

'...'

>...Does... does she know?

'I... don't... know...'

"DT's gotta have the POWAH!"

>...So! Codpiece?

'No codpiece.'

>Don't think I need it?

'If they could actually hit it, they're good enough sharpshooters you should be lucky they didn't aim for your eye.'

>...No codpiece it is.

"And done and done! Now, if you don't mind, I need to use the fillies room."

>...

'...'

>...So she's-

'She's looking up what a codpiece is, yeah.'

"EW!"

'There it is.'

>>29320993
Ha!

>>29320993
Pfft hahaha!
I'm slightly reminded of Sealab 2021. Do you want the 'stache on or off?

>>29321216
That whole exchange did kinda have that vibe...

>>29320167
NC
>Daw
"PJ"
~~~~

>Oi! You two finally get dressed or wha-HOLY SHIT!

"GAH! This isn't what it looks like! We were... fucking! Totally having sex! Oh baby he does it good!"

>...

"Do you mind? Close the door! You're letting out all the... er, sex stuff!"

>...It really freaks me out that you pick that for a cover.

"SEX!"

>>29321683
You think that would be the perfect cover...

>>29320993
NC
'Do you even have junk? It looks smooth down there.'

>Do you?

'...touche, dragon. Touche.'

>>29319794
>Rocks
Killer crocs time to shine!

Goodnight thread

>>29322596
Night anon

File: 20161110020155-384.gif (85KB, 384x384px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 384x384px

Sleep tight thread

>>29323301
A cute?!

>>29323505
A princess cute!

>>29321958
How have we never made a joke about that before?

File: Applejack eats out a marshmallow.png (306KB, 1167x801px) Image search: [Google]

306KB, 1167x801px

Non-Canon
>AJ
"Rarity"
~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.

"And I help even though you don't introduce me as your co-host.

>You're still on that?

"It's my resolution.

>The answer is no. You're just going to stick to being my assistent.

"I won't take no for an answer."

>What are you going to do?

"Oh you'll see."

>Ah' know you Rarity and Ah' know you're bluffing."

"Then I guess you're gonna find out later whether or not I am. Can you actually read my poker face? P-poker face?"
Does a side headbob.

>Okay, well that's all the time we have, but thanks for joining us on...
Takes a sip of cider from a champagne glass.
>..the Fireside.

"Can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my poker face~"

Pinkie's voice is heard from upstairs.
'She's got me like nobody."

>>29324514
Wait a minute… She didn't fix anything at all!

I've been lied to!

>Pennydrop
“Daw”
~~~

>…

“…”

>…

“...soooo…”

>…sooooo…

“…”

>…so you’re an… A-team member?

“Gun club.”

>What’s the difference, again?

“That’s actually a good question.”

>…

“…So you’re a, I dunno, CEO?”

>Pretty much. And you’re a… pirate?

“Ex-pirate.”

>Ex-pirate.

“I fought on a giant crab.”

>That’s neat. I fought a giant changeling in a mech.

“Could’ve used that back across the sea, tell you that!”

>They’re useful, yeah.

“…”

>…Soooooo…

“…Soooooo…”

>…This isn’t really doing much for me.

“Yeah, this was a mistake.”

>>29324754
Interesting first meeting...

>>29324873
I legit thought they would never even actually meet.

>SA
“18”
~~~

>Okay, this mystery just got confusing.

“Three!? How are there three office supply shops in the Empire!? It’s the size of a large city, that’s it! You could run from one end to the under in under an hour if you take a brisk pace, you can see it all from the top of the castle! Why are there three office supply stores in them!? They all buy the same paper too! What the heck!?

>I think there might be more to this than we thought. Why would there be not one, not even just two for competition, but three different supply stores within the exact same city? Who is so lazy they can’t walk a bit to get some?

“That, my dear bubblebutt, is what we need to find out!”

>That’s not my nickname.

“What?’

>Bubblebutt, that’s not my nickname.

“Celestia calls you bubblebutt all the time.”

>BubbleHORSE. I am Bubble HORSE. Not butt, horse! I’m more than a piece of finely toned flank!

“It is finely toned.”

>You may admire it, I certainly admire others, but do not reduce me to mere flank! I will not be objectified!

“But how could you stop me from doing that? I could just not tell you.”

>Thennnnn, uhhhh.

“Well?

>Wow, thought crime policing falls apart fast.

“It does.”

>Just promise me you like me even if I get flabby?

“Cross my changeling heart and I will cuddle it every day for proof.”

>I don’t think that’s nessecary.

“But wanted!”

>I’ll consider it.

“Considering I’m on the back of the scooter, I’m not sure what part of this you need to consider.”

>Trapped by my own mode of transportation! But no matter, we shall away anyway, this has got me in a particular mood”

“Excellent! First stop?”

>”The store/Bedroom!”

>Wait, what?

“Would you believe I’m sleepy?”

>No.

“Then I’m not going to take it back. Away!”

>Ignoring it, it is. Away!

“But maybe after-“

>We’ll see.

“TEASE!”

>>29325145
These two are so adorable.

>Fluttershy
“???”
~~~

>Okay! New day! New day and new Fluttershy and new everything! It’s time to get into the groove and dance like everyone’s looking, scared and wanting to go home! But I can’t, because this is my solemn duty, and I will do it with all I am, and all I have! This is a NEW DAY!... You there! Animal friend!

“Squeak?”

>Do animal thing!

“…*Nibblenibble*”

>I am so good at this!

>>29325453
>Squirrel
“Chipmunk”
~~~

>My fellow animalus of the darkened tree tribe, should we speak to the bright one of the uprising in the north, and of the rivers that run red with the life of the groundhog menace?

“Nay, Nuttington, we shall not weigh heavily on her mind of what had to be done. We have lain waste to those who would hold against us, we shall sleep at night with the stain upon our brow, not her.”

>For the soul of the green.

“For the soul of the green.”

>…

“…By the way, what a fantastical feast I see you with, perhaps I may add to them.”

>No.

“Oh, truly? You do not want some more nuts-“

>Every time with you!

“Deez nuts are amazing!”

>>29325595
>Dat ending
Perfect.

>>29325595
'Gopher'
~~~

'So could we always talk, or did she do that?'

>That sounds an awful lot like groundhog talk...

'...For the hoard!'

>There you go.

>>29325291
they really are, they're criminally underused as a pair. Which is weird, considering, you kno...

>>29324754
>What do you do, anyway?

"I shoot ponies with a sword."

>...come again?

"Well, what do you do?"

>Hit them with a giant mech, I told you.

"Besides that."

>Give myself magic steroids.

"You probably shouldn't call it like that."

>I technically shouldn't be taking them either, they're really dangerous.

"..."

>YOU HEARD NOTHING!

>>29323301
>>29324514
>Shot of AJ sleeping
>Then cut to Fireside

Coincidence? I think not!

>AUJ
"AJ"
~~~

>Ah' want you to know, Ah'm glad you're getting to work and all, but uh... might have a question or two.

"Don't say that round the big white'un, she gets hives."

>Then Ah'll keep it short and quiet, what are you doing?

"Ah'm tryin' to write a letter to the griffons in order to help mend some relationships."

>Meant you hanging upside down.

"Oh, that."

>...

"Pinkie says all mah' best parts are in mah' legs, so maybe tilting them up like that will have it all rush to mah' head."

>Seriously?

"No, not seriously, Ah' just felt like doin' a hoofstand"

>That is an equally confusing answer.

"And yer' equally fat."

>HEY!

"Ya' are. What have you been eatin'?"

>What Ah' eat ain't none of your business!

"It's porkin' the pounds on you, this here could be a diabetic epidemic waiting. Good of the country and all."

>You eat cake all the time!

"And granny ain't never gonna die, so answer that one."

>...logic don't apply to her.

"Damn straight."

>But fine, iffin' you must know, apple ice cream is what Ah' normally get.

"Ah'm sorry, what?"

>Apple ice cream. Red gala, golden delicious, Ah've got all the flavors. It's a treat.

"..."

>You never had one?

FLOP!

"Show this to me... NOW!"

>Strangling ain't necessary.

"NOW!"

>Finish your letter and Ah'll give you a whole tub.

"...did you just try to bribe me like Applebloom?"

>Eeeeyup.

"..."

SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE!

>Atta-girl.

>>29326417
This is weirdly cute.

>>29326417
Oh fuck.

Her appleass is going to be MASSIVE

>>29326549
>56
~~~

>Huh. Somewhere... somehow... somethin' great's about to happen... but what?

>Spike
"DT"
~~~

>You ready for this?

If the filly's look could be anymore deadpanned, she would have been classified as goods and filed under zombie frying materials on her passport from now on.

"Ready, he says. Like he's not talking to me, DIAMOND TIARA!"

If his look was anymore incredulous, Faust herself could have walked up and not noticed a single change.

>DT, this is serious-

"No kidding!? Wow, and here I thought this was a game of pin the tail on the donkey!... Wow, that's racist, thinking about it-"

>Diamond Tiara!

She groaned, pausing locking in the last of her jumpsuit's bands long enough to give him a look of pure, unrefined Diamond Tiara.

"Look, Spike? I'm the one who kept fighting her, not you. You're the one who missed out while I was taking her on with the rest of Canterlot. I know what she's capable of from Fillydelphia, you didn't even get to fight her at full size on the train. If anyone's taking this seriously, it's me. If anyone needs a refresher, welllll..."

His grip on his gun grew a little too tight. He knew it was technically impossible to strangle a handgun, but he worried sometimes.

>Then why did you bring Silver Spoon?

One last powerful dose of pure DT was all she gave him before she looked away.

"I promised her, as her best friend, I wouldn't leave her behind again. I promised, Spike, sealed it with a cutie-bump and everything, that's sacred. If she wants to come, I'm not going to leave her behind again."

Her hoof shook ever so slightly as she pulled the strap closed.

"Even if she'd be better off back home..."

1/2

>>29326722

>...Are you ready for this, really?

For a second, she was content to just stand there, silent. At the end of that moment, she clasped the last band shut, and hefted her weapon onto her back. She turned back and gave him that winning, smug smile that could only come from the one and only filly wonder.

"Better question... are you?"

Looking at her, armed to the teeth, confident, smiling and ready to go, Spike found himself oddly silent at the question. His grip returned back to his gun, and he gave it a comforting squeeze to console himself and repeat the assurance that yes, he was ready, and he would not fail this time.

>...We'll find out, won't we?

Even with all the strength in the world, he didn't know if he could lift his arm this day.

>We've got work to do.

It was time to shine.

>>29326726
They are doomed.

>>29326605
>She becomes the new Rarity
>Rarity is still worst princess.

>>29326989
...Hrmm...
NC
>Chitania
"???"
~~~~

>FOOOOLISH CREATURES! Did you really think your paltry weapons could stand against me, the TITAN!? I shall destroy your world, and then I will-... why did the sun just go out?

"APPLE ATTAAACCCKKKK!"

>...Is that a giant-OH SHIT!

BOOOOOM!

"Don't be so down, Chitty! Lot's o' folks would love ta' have me sit on them!"

>>29327105
>Sunset seethes in jealousy

>>29327105
I think it's hilarious that in every single one of these NC confrontation shorts, we have our antagonists raving and posturing like the villains we actually want them to be

>>29327153
>half of Equestria seethes in jealously

>>29327212
Full ham is best for the one line things like that.

>>29327105
Applejack takes lessons from Derpy.

>>29327459
>56 would shatter if he snuggled Derpy's booty.

"I just don't know what went wrong!... But I liked it! *Giggle*"

>Pennydrop
"Captain"
~~~~

>Full scanners on maximum, I don't want a single chance of missing it.

The viewscreen of magic before her was nothing short of stunning. A spell woven into the very slab on which she stood allowed her to view it in a way earth ponies could only have ever dreamed before, and most unicorns thought impossible. She could smell the heating wires as they pumped the distilled magic of the unicorn beneath her, charging her creation and giving it life unlike any other.

The screen and all it's high fidelity resolution allowed her to see in crystal clarity the ground so very far down below. With a ship as large as the one they inhabited, there was only one way to keep it from prying eyes, even with the most advanced magic currently possible covering it in a layer of sky blue that let it blend seamlessly with it's surroundings to any down below. Only height, and nothing less than the highest their ship could soar, protected them from retaliation before their mission had been accomplished.

This assurance of safety came at only one cost, the search for the alleged tunnel provided by their changeling cohort.

"You sure it's actually there? It is a changeling's word we're talking about."

No matter how much she agreed with him, and her mind was quite in tune indeed, she still waved him off all the same.

>You can't trust a bug as far as you could see how ugly they are, but they always deliver when it's got their best interests in mind. This is bullshit, but if he has a way to sneak in so we can finally kill that giant bitch stone cold dead, I'll overlook his species for the moment.

"If you say so, madam."

>I do, now keep looking, I'm not going to let him feel superior when if miss...

She went silent, her mouth freezing mid word, before it slowly began to sink towards the floor.

"Miss Pennydrop? Is something... holy shit."

His breathless, whisper quiet words just did not do it justice.

>Make an announcement. It seems... we've arrived.

>>29327485
Ha ha!

It's funny because it's made out like she's terrible for being racist, but 007 is just as hella racist against 'certain' lings.

>>29327485
>It's shaped like a giant dick

Tell me straight to my face he wouldn't do that.

>>29327719
Why must you tempt me with terrible ideas

>>29327478
Fun fact, Chitania remains the only snuggle-deny that has ever stuck, he's never managed to snuggle her since.

>>29327920
>AHHHHAHAHAH! MORTAL PONIES! You meet your doom at the hooves of I, CHITANIA! Now, I shall-

GLOMP!

>...Did you just grab my ass?

"VICTORY!"

>Fuck it, this whole thing's cancelled, nothing will ever make me intimidating again after this.

>>29328080
>and that, fillies and colts, is how a single act of innocent perversion saved the known world all those years ago...

>>29328202
NC
>Filly
"Applejack"
~~

>Is that how it really happened?

"Er, sure?'

>But is it reaallllyyy?

"Fine, no. The real version had giant robots and space battles and someone telling god to go fuck themselves."

>...

"Don't believe it, do you?'

>No?

"Me neither, and Ah' was there!"

>>29327920
There was also Bon Bon. She smacked him.

>AUJ
"Fluttershy"
~~~~

"I am awesome at this."

>...why is that squirrel wearing battle armor?

"It's safety armor, so he doesn't get hurt."

>He has a spear.

"It's a stick to put in front of him so he doesn't trip on a pothole."

>He's bathed in the blood of some enemy.

"It's just the fresh mixed cranberry deliciousness of a smoothie! MmmHMM! Cranberries!"

>He's got some kind of head on a pike.

"Fuzzy acorn."

>Ah' hear 'death to the groundhogs.'

"Don't be silly, he's just saying squeak squeak. Why, if you're hearing it, I wonder if it's you who has the problem? Most ponies don't hear words in squeaks."

>...

"Don't be a silly, Applejack."

>...alright then.

"Wondeful! Now, if you don't mind, I need to look up what gets blood out of fur."

>...

"Cranberry smoothies have a strangely similar texture."

>..

"Don't ask me how I know that."

>>29328618
Why the hell are all the woodland creatures constantly at war?

Between this and Harry, it's insane!

>>29328821
No more predators because 007just haaaaddd to expand his harem. Couldn't just be content with the Tsun!

>>29329044
>Harem
>Not army

Goodnight thread

>>29329546
I'm not sure what I am. I'm just on the cusp of. Both!

>>29330029
Fuck me, keep going? That looks pretty cool so far!

>>29330029
Now that I never thought I'd see!

>>29330029
Ooh neat, is someone working on PJ?

>>29330029
Are those dog ears?

>>29330029
>>29330565
Her whole face looks oddly canine

>>29330616
Its kinda off putting right? I rather like the normal feline look.

>>29330029
> o vear
>Because she can fly
Huh

>>29330029
>Cue rocking but overused theme song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKoEH2R9z90

Crossover when

>AUJ
"Applejack"
~???~
~~~

>Thanks for takig' me on a stroll around Canterlot, again. Ah' really appreciate it. This is so nice.

"Ya' know, sarcasm is pretty multiversal."

>And so are smacks to the back of the head, pretty much everyone screams like a little filly when Ah' bring the pain.

"Even Discord?"

>...Ah' don't talk about him much.

"Ah' can't imagine why, ya' seem like such a wonderful individual-"

>TARNATION!

Before she could even register the shocked scream or the sudden burst of movement, the pony at her side was gone.

>AH' KNEW IT! AH' KNEW IIIIITTT!

By the time the last neuron finally fired, the connection was finally reached as to which direction the sudden burst of air had gone, and what lie in their path.

"...pony apples. ME! WAIT UP, ME!"

She was too late, by the time she arrived at where the hoofprints cracking into the ground had ended, the door of the building it lead to had been ripped clear open, and she already went inside.

"IT AIN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, SWEAR IT! IT'S TOTALLY INNOCENT! IT'S LEGIT! DON'T... Huh. This place is confusing. Do Ah' go left, or do Ah' just go straight up... what is the point of this architecture?"

To her eventual thanks, the loud and unmistakable slamming of a door signaled her the proper direction.

"GAH! ME! ME DON"T DO IT! DON'T START A GADDAND 'NOTHER ONE OF THESE STUPID BUCKIN'..."

For the second time, she was left speechless.

~Hiya, Princess Applejack!~

For the first time, her multiversal companion shared the sentiment.

~And uh... princess Applejack?~

The white stallion behind the desk deserved praise, she felt, if only for the fact he remained smiling and his posture straight while he tried to make sense of the scene before him.

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