Ponies in Earth #79

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LIVE!

Didn't this shit die like half a year ago?

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>>29250078
TAIL LIFTER

Glad to have you back

I want my own mlp pony to cut open his troat and bathe in his blood.

L U X

F I N I S H S T O R Y

>>29250355
that poor strawberry mare has been sexually teased in that changing room for over a year straight now
customers are starting to complain

What now?

>A single pony or multiple ponies is/are transported to a much less magical place called Earth. Here, the pony/ponies must struggle to survive in an unforgiving (and sometimes dangerous) world where friendship isn't magic.

Could you imagine going from Equestria to such a shit world as Earth? I'm not saying Equestria is perfect of course, but the overall atmosphere is far more positive. They deal with huge magical threats seemingly on a regular basis, however that's fairly minor compared to our wars, attempted genocides, pollution, poverty, constant development of weapons, torture, etc. A pony would probably take one look at the news and pass out from all the problems.

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>>29250078
I remember this cutie.

>>29250686
They would probably feel like they have been banished to some sort of hell.

>>29250863
We have microwavable dinners though so that makes up for it.

>>29250918
This and we also have vidya
>>29250110
T A I L L I F T E R

all the good writefags are gone

>>29250941
Dont forget about the internet. Man ponies would love the internet.
Also stop calling her that.

>>29251287
I would fuck this pone. A lot.

>>29251287
No that's the old browser pone

this thread should've stayed dead.

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Behold; Rainbow Dash's get-rich quick scheme!

>>29251522
But little does Rainbow know that Pinkie already has her "Cum inside Rainbow Dash" stall finished.

>>29251554
Yeah, perfect, Pinkie for the kiddies to ride, Dashie for the adults to "ride"

>Anonpone is an obsessive My Little Human fanboy
>Regularly writes self-insert fanfiction of himself going to Earth and fucking his human waifu
>It comes to pass that he ends up actually getting sent to Earth via some unexplained magical fuckery and meeting up with the MLH cast

>>29251978
Who makes up the MLH cast

Well well. Haven't seen this thread in a while.

If it's alive when I get out of work I'll try to do a thing

>>29252108
I don't know, probably just some random jerkoffs.

>>29252128
>thread dies

Does anyone have the depressing PiE Pics where ponies are strung about the world homeless?

>>29252385
No

>rape bump

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Not >>29252128 but I have a bit of green all the same. Probably different from what this thread is used to though. Anyway here it goes.

>its cold out today
>just like yesterday, and the day before.
>hell, even when the sun is shining and there is not a cloud in the sky its cold.
>that has to be why you always are shaking, right?
>yes, It has to be...
>the sound of the rain colliding violently with the mud beneath a hundred worn boots is the only sound reaching your ears as you march on
>its been a full days march and it doesn't seem to have an end.
>not that it matters in the long run.
>march out, dig in, repel, attack, retreat, repeat.
>looking around at your comrades you imagine they are thinking the same as you
>but thinking these thoughts will only get you killed.
>you need something to take your mind off it, anything to keep the morbid thoughts out of your weary mind.
>your voice is a little strained after a long silence but you start to sing all the same

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K1BdDVvV9Q

"oh, If you want to find the general, I know where he is. I know where he is"
>a few of the lads around you give side glances caught off guard by the sudden voice within the ranks
>but it doesn't take long for a few of the socially braver men partake in the song alongside your own.
"oh, I know where he is, If you want to find the general, I know where he is."
>"he's pinning another medal on his chest."
>the more men slowly join in making a very hoarse, yet oddly beautiful choir of tired soldiers.
>"I saw him, I saw him, pinning another medal on his chest, pinning another medal on his chest"
>the song picks up a bit and soon the whole company is walking and marching with higher spirits while the tones begin to bled killing off any out of tune voices.
>that is to say all men, excluding the officers, of course.
>they never really took to this song like the lads have, but they let you go on with it not raising a voice in protest

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>>29253018
>"oh, but if you're looking for the battalion I know where they are."
>ahead you can see your new 'home' coming into view and the song starts to come to its end, as all good things must do.
>the voices slowly began to die out leaving just you again.
"I know where they are"
>rows and rows of half dug snakelike trenches
>you got lucky, usually the smell would be the first thing you notice
"Oh, I know where they are"
>carriages you hadn't noticed before are being pulled opposite your direction, filled to the brim with lads just as brave and young as you.
>some of whom couldn't have been older than sixteen or seventeen.
"if you are looking for the battalion, I know where they are, they are hanging on the old barbed wire..."

>Meanwhile
>perhaps this wasn't as good a deal as you thought it was
>Twilight's face is covered by one of her large books as she holds it up with her magic
"are you sure about this Twilight? I mean what if something goes wrong? like I explode or turn into a frog or something!"
>the book moves down below eggheads face and she smiles back at you
>"oh don't worry about it Rainbow Dash. I've done spells like this before, besides we made a deal"
"well yeah. But-"
"ah-ah, I promised not to tell Applejack about you drinking the last of her cider if YOU promised to help me with my studies!"
>you cross your hooves and slump on your stool and groan
"UUGGHH fine, just be careful and hurry up. The waiting is the worst part"
>Twilight giggles and waves her hoof dismissively
>"oh relax rainbow, I promise everything is going to be okay. Its a, relatively, simple spell."
>whatever, you just hope this one doesn't take as long as the last one
>this has to be the worst most boring and un-awesome day you have ever had
>as the book closes shut with a loud smack your heart skips a beat
"so this is the last spell for today right?!"
>"alright Rainbow, last one. I promise"
>you nearly fly out of your seat
"about time! Lets do it!"
>"alright now just hold still"

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>>29253048
>the voice of an officer snaps your focus back
>"Keep Moving!"
>the sound of gunfire ripping past you makes your body scream for you to stop and hit the dirt
>but if you do, you know you wont ever get back up
>"just a few more yards men! Give those Hun bastards what fo-"
>just ahead the Captains head pops open like a watermelon and the taste of salt fills your mouth
>blood and tears stream down your face as you reach the first trench line
>as you make it and dive into its relative safety a Jerry raises his Mauser
>unfortunately for him you were too quick, and your bayonet plunges into his chest
>you cant tell who is screaming louder, you or the Hun on the end of your blade
>another German spots you with your rifle bayonet still in his comrades chest and raises his rifle
>quickly you pull your rifle back, but the bayonet is stuck on its targets uniform and gear
>oh god.
>you pull harder, and in a panic you try to yank it out, but it ends up getting tangled even more and you end up losing your balance falling down dropping your weapon
>the German shouts at you in rage and pulls the trigger of his rifle
>this must be the end.
>the rifle makes a loud *clack* and your aggressors eyes go wide as he tries to fire again.
>but mud and foreign material is completely coating the receiver
>he looks at you starting to get back on your feet in a panic and instead opts to make his rifle a club
>just as you get to your feet he swings his impromptu bat at your skull

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>>29253067
>either by the grace of god, your training, or by sheer luck you manage to grab hold of the incoming object
>now the two of you are wrestling with one another, gunfire and screams still very much prevalent all around the battlefield
>as he pushes into you and you twist using his own momentum against him, now the two of you fall to the earth
>and luckily you are on top of him
>the struggle continues and eventually you take possession of the weapon and raise it high with both hands
>he covers his face with his hands as you smash the stock down onto his face
>shouting and screaming something in German you smash the stock down into the kraut
>this time his face was exposed enough for you to clearly strike, you see part of his face collapse in from the impact and blood begins to coat the stock along with your uniform
>but hes still moving.
>again you strike, harder, then again, and AGAIN.
>the body has gone limp and what was one a face is now a smashed pile of blood and bone.
>you're not sure whats worse, knowing you had done it, or knowing it would have been you.

>Twilight charges her magic and closes her eyes
>this is it!
>she begins to sweat as she concentrates harder on the spell
>once this is over you can go out and work on your stunts!
>then you can go out and prank ponies with Pinkie!
>this bad day is going to be so much better!
>Twilight releases her magic and a bright light fills the room nearly blinding you
>wiping your eyes take a quick look around.
"huh.. so.. did it work Twilight?"
>she lays on the floor exhausted and groans face planting the floor
>"I guess not..."
>you fly over your purple friend and check her over to make sure shes okay
"so, what was it supposed to do anyway?"
>standing up Twilight levitates the book over and reads it again
>"it was SUPPOSED to be a simple time travel spell, and it should have worked."
"how can you tell if it didn't? i mean, what time is it now?"

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>>29253091
>the two of you look at the clock
>nope, same time as it was.
>"well it was cast on you anyway, so it wouldn't have sent us both back either way."
>wait that was a time travel spell
"so, how far back did you plan on sending me anyway?"
>Twilight's eyes go wide for a second
>"well, I uh, maybe didn't think about that?"
>a blush comes over her face and she makes her "oops" smile with a audible *squee*
"Ha, well no worries Egghead, it didn't work anyway."

>WHERE THE BUCK ARE YOU!?
>one second you were sitting on a stool waiting for Twilight to cast a spell
>then there was a bright light, and now-
>a sudden *BOOM* makes you hit the ground and cover your ears and eyes with your wings
>and this is definitely ground, not a floor.
>mud covers your body from top to bottom
>your ears are ringing and they are continually barraged with new sounds
>all of them loud and their own form of terrifying
>you cant stay here!
>mustering all your courage you uncover your face
>just in front of your face are two long things.
>your eyes follow them up slowly
>the two long things, were legs.
>and those legs are connected to some kind of monster
>a monster with a strange looking spear

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>>29253106
>what in gods name is this thing in front of you?
>is it some sort of dog?
>no, dogs don't have wings, and on top of that they aren't rainbow colored.
>if you didn't know better... you might say its a very small pegasus.
>its bright magenta eyes move up inspecting your body
>once its eyes meet yours they go wide then suddenly shrink down to pin needles
>its actually rather cute-
>a blast mere meters away from the trench flings dirt and debris high into the air while simultaneously knocking you on your ass next to the pegasus
>Germans wouldn't be shelling this location yet.
>bloody hell, that has to be your own arty!
>you try to get to your feet rifle in hand but that blast left you rather dizzy and you fall back down
>with all the strength you can muster you shout
"HIT THE DECK! INCOMING ROYAL ARTY!"
>to your surprise the pegasus shouts back from its place near your feet
>"YOU CAN TALK?!"
"IT CAN TALK!?"
>less than a second later several blasts follow in near unison followed by more and more
>without another thought you push yourself to the ground as low as you can
>right on top of the small equine

>that thing spoke!
>what is Royal Arty?
>your question is quickly answered by the sound of very close by thunder
>normally thunder wouldn't scare you
>i mean, you do work with the weather team after all.
>but this... this thunder is different.
>its louder and it shakes the whole earth.
>dirt, splinters of wood, metal and rocks fall from on high.
>and all the while you lay there stunned by what is happening around you
>all the while the monster you were once scared of is on top of you
>seemingly protecting you from anything that might fall from above.
>where in Equestria are you?

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>>29253145
>the two of you stay right where you are as the thunder and destruction continues on for the better part of an hour
>but that short time feels like thousands of lifetimes
>once it finally comes to and end you notice that you're shaking
>your shacking uncontrollably
>it reminds you of how Winona was when she got in trouble for tearing up Applejack's garden and received a scolding from Granny Smith
>then you notice something else.
>the monster protecting you is shaking just as badly as you.
>his, hooves? claws? well whatever, those are clenched tightly around you and his spear
>so tightly in fact it looks like he might break it in half, the lighter shade of his skin turning a light pink from the pressure he is putting on it
>the sounds have stopped but he is still shaking staying right where he was.
>slowly and carefully you tap his shoulder as best you can in your current position
"Hey. Hey tall thing."
>you tap him a bit harder and he eventually responds
>"is-is it over?"
>you can tell he is forcing himself to move on willpower
>every action he takes appears to take great effort just to get his body to follow his mind
"I think it is. What, what did you say that was?"

>that was definitely Royal British Artillery
>those bloody bastards!
>you pull yourself up to your feet and peer ever so slightly over the trench line
>everything is quiet.
>quiet and dead.
>mangled corpses are scattered about most having parts from others closer to them than their own.
>lads who never even made the trenches still lay tangled in a grotesque pile of guts and wire
>the terror you had just seconds ago turns into rage.
>you cant contain it and you shout as loudly as you can
"YOU BASTARDS! we were already here! you're killing US!"
>your sentence teeters off and you throw a helmet as far as you can before slumping down to the trench floor
>tears are streaming down your face as you begin to hold yourself tightly
"those damned idiotic buffoons."

>>29253161
>the sound of footsteps quickly causes your emotional rant come to a swift end
>with a slight fumble you take your rifle and aim it in the direction of the incoming steps
>your heart is racing again and you can feel adrenaline rush through your body
>the little winged horse speaks up distracting you
>"what is it? whats coming?"
>you quickly and sharply cut it off
"shush!"
>the foot steps stop just out of sight at the turn in the trench
>kneeling down you glace over to the horse, then back to the turn in the trench
>softly you whisper to it
"pst."
>you don't look away from the turn this time so you cant tell if she heard or is looking at you
>assuming it is a she, the voice is kinda feminine and that seems to be reasonable enough to assume for now.
>hastily you motion with your hand for her to move behind you
>though it turns out to look more like a swatting motion since you are rushing it.
>"why? whats over-"
>a head pokes out from around the corner and you pull the trigger
>the discharge of your rifle makes the horse jump slightly but she quickly ends up behind you
>you chamber another round and aim again, your first shot missing and hitting the trench
>"easy! easy lad! stand down."
>a pair of hands extend from the turn and you relax slightly as the sight of some of your brothers in arms make their way around to you
>you lower your rifle and breathe deeply suddenly noticing how little air you have
"Lieutenant."
>"Private Anonymous"
"I nearly shat by breeches, you crazy bastard."
>"Aye, and you nearly shot mine!"
>the two of you glare at one another for short yet tense seconds
>then everyone enters into a short fit of laughter.

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>>29253181

>are, are they laughing?!
>after everything that just happened, and what you can assume was a near death of a friend they just laugh!?
>rushing out from behind the one you heard called 'Private Anonymous' you fly up to his face with a more than angry look
"why are you laughing?! you nearly killed your friend with that thing!"
>maybe...
>well you're sure it has to be dangerous, the end of it made an explosion for Celestias sake!
>it cant be safe to be using on or around friends
"and just seconds ago you were over there crying and shaking when all that thunder was going off! how can you suddenly just be okay?!"
>Private Anonymous looks shocked, his mouth wide open like he is trying to think of some response to your sudden verbal assault
>but nothing comes out
>turning your head around you can see the other creatures behind you
>their mouths are in a similar position as Private Anonymous is
>one of them slowly points at you
>"uh.. Lieutenant.. did that bird, horse, thing, just speak?"
"a bird horse? What, have you never seen a pegasus pony before?"
>everyone remains silent as you flap your wings hovering in the large ditch
>Private Anonymous voice comes first from behind you
>"you can actually fly with those tiny things?"
>again you turn back and poke his chest with your hoof
"my wings are not tiny, bub! and of course i can fly! what would be the point of wings if i couldn"t?"
>although the areas you are in is a little cramped you do a few simple flips and turns to show off your awesome skills
"in fact, I'm the greatest flyer in Equestria!"
>you are now booming with pride and you puff out your chest
>a moment passes before you hear a small laugh escape Private Anonymous' mouth
>soon the others join in and the whole group is laughing again
>"what kind of name is Equestria?"
>"says the mate from a place called Canada"
"Im serious! and how could you have not heard of Equestria! or Pegasi!?"
>the laughter grows louder then slowly but surely comes to an end.

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>>29253192

>well this day didn't go entirely as expected.
>not only did you manage to take the trench line and get barraged by your own artillery
>but you apparently met, and had a conversation with, a rainbow colored pegasus from another world.
>taking a seat next to your fellows in the trench you get a quick estimate at your remaining ammunition amount
>supplies wont be here for another day or so
>everything will have to count if Fritz decides he wants his hole back.
>your little friend looks around at the trench and everything inside it
>the chaps have started to get used to her being around
>at least the dozen or so who came with the lieutenant and found you
>not quite sure how the rest will react though.
>you get a shoulder to your side from one of your friends
>"so what do you think Anon?"
"what do you mean?"
>"oh come on private, you found the beast, and we all know there is no listing in the requisition forms for "pegasi"
>another lad pokes around him
>"so, what you plan on doin' with her?"
>honestly you never really thought about that.
>nor did you expect to suddenly be the one responsible for a pegasi's well being
"i don't rightly know. Perhaps she could be used as a messenger?"
>"now don't be stupid mate, the Boche have been dropping our birds like its sport. and she isn't exactly a harder target to miss."
>"you know, being bright blue and rainbow colored and all."
>"not to mention quite a bit larger"
"and what would you know about size Incognito? you couldn't even get that lass to act impressed in the bawdy house"
>that gets a chuckle out of most of your company, well, besides Incognito.
>the pegasi has started her way back over to you
>apparently bored with the wondrous view of dirt and mud you are all privy to
"so you can talk, your from a magical land of horses, and you can fly. Is it safe to assume you have a name?"

>>29253206
>"its Rainbow Dash.. yours is Private Anonymous right?"
"its just Anonymous. Private is just my rank."
>you set your rifle against the side of the trench against its wooden wall
>Rainbow eyes it carefully as you move it
>"so what is that thing... i see you and the others have similar, things..."
"what? this?"
>you pat the rifle softly and Rainbow nods in confirmation
"its a rifle. a pattern 1913 Lee Enfield, one of the finest weapons i have ever fired."
>"and how many weapons is that Anon?"
>you ignore the peanut gallery
>"so its a weapon?"
>you nod
>"so, are you like a royal guard or something?"
>the others start to laugh
>"you got him, Anonymous the royal guard, thats why he's out here with us."
>you laugh a bit at it too and pat the little ponies head
"no, no, I'm not a royal guard."
>"then what are you?"
>good question really.
"I suppose I'm just a body for the wire. I'm just a regular lad with a rifle."

>these creatures are pretty grim.
>yet, they still seem to be happy, even joking about dying.
>honestly it makes your stomach churn a bit thinking about it.
>perhaps you should change the subject for now
"so uh.. how long do we need to stay under the ground like this?"
>raising your hoof you motion to the sky above
"because id really like to get out of here, stretch my wings, and try to find my way back home."
>one of the creatures behind Anon speaks up
>"yeah, we would all like to get back home... its not exactly sunshine and roses for us here."
"then why don't you? this place seem pretty dangerous to be around. why hasn't anypony tried going home?"
>Anon places his hand on your shoulder quieting you while the others suddenly find other things to do
>"because Rainbow, we cant go home. We are at war."

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>>29253259
That's all I have to post for now. Hopefully it can entertain a few of you guys. cheers!

>>29250863
Oh god, plumbing, electricity, transportation and logistics systems and modern medicine at the cost of niceness and Sun God telling you what to do. Honestly the benefits and negatives weigh each other out really I think it would be okay for them.

>>29253259
it's garbage, but have a (you) for effort.

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I wanna smell her.

>>29254010
Fuck you, it's not garbage. Grammatically, it's got issues, but it's a good enough start.
>>29253298
Hope you continue anon

Someone write a green where a pone is a West African warlord and his/her men have to tell him/her how to rape, murder and pillage because ponies don't really do those things

>>29253298
I'm interested, nice green anon.

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>>29254879
Zecora

Look into my eyes so you know its true,
now answer, who is the captain, me or you?

>>29254010
As a general bit of advice, please at least attempt to explain why a story is garbage even if it may be obvious. Explaining your reasoning does a couple good things:
>1. Gives the author specific criticism he can consider and use to improve.
and
>2. Opens up the possibility of a discussion on why the story is bad which feeds back into point 1.

Just saying it's garbage doesn't really achieve anything.

>>29255036
It lacked character depth and exploited every possible marysue trope I've ever had the pleasure of reading
grammar was bad enough that it threw the pacing of the entire story off
the inclusion of an oc halfway through as a comic relief also ruined it for me

>>29255092
>other people can't exist in wars
wew, you really showed him anon

>>29254879
>Nigerian prime minister appeals to UN for help with filly warlords
>"THEY ARE SO CUTE, WITH THEIR LITTLE RPG'S AND YUGO AK'S, PLEASE, HELP US."

>>29255092
Point 1 is wrong
Point 2 is real but exaggerated
Point 3 is fucking retarded

All in all 2/10 you technically got one right. Please don't try to give your input again.

>>29255092
>anon isnt an oc but anon by another name is
wew lad

>>29255092
oh and I forgot to mention that the "war is hell" cliche is god awful and a horrible basis for a green
can't believe you used your own oc rainbow dash for a story too that's just plain retarded
0/10 no tendies

>>29255159
>>29255137
>>29255120
>>29254237
>asks for criticism on his green
>gets butthurt and angry at criticism cause it doesn't circle jerk his autism
Wew lad

>>29255247
Not this anon but the war story seems like something straight off of fim fiction. Theres no build up, just RD gets accidentally teleported to human land and sees WW1. Dont get me wrong, im a huge fan of war fics but this one screams generic and fast paced

>first green to bless this dead general after months of rigor mortis is autisticly awful
I believe this accurately demonstrates the state of PiE
you deserved better little earth mares

>>29255342
Tells thread it needs content
>Calls writefag autistic
Yeah that's how it works

Well I was gonna write something but after all this shit I don't think I want to.

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>Be at west point
>Studying unit tactics and armor supporting infantry tactics
>Pic related asks you if you'd like to meet outside of school and study
Wat do?

>>29255618
get busted for fraternization

>>29255618
Turn her down because holy shit nigger I'm at West Point and I'm not about to let some harlot affirmative action ponigger ruin my star career in the military. You know how fucking hard it is to get in there? How hard it is to graduate? Gotta be recommended by at least one congressman.

I know a dude who's at West Point. That fucker would tell her sorry ass to shape up or get shipped out.

>>29255618
Say yes and study. Her moms probably a nice milf mare and shes probably got a kick ass crib.

>>29255618
>tfw this is a great green prompt to revive PiE

>>29255648
Kek

>>29255648
this. definitely this. a woman will ruin your military career faster than an proven intentional friendly fire incident

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i want to preen her

>>29251287
Any lewd story or lewd pics from this cute tail lifter?

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>>29250078
Holy shit how did I not see this thread until now!?
I'm still drawing, and in fact I've been recently working on a Pilly Case picture.
It's great to be back, PiE.

>>29255963
Aw shit. WE /LEGIT/ NAO

Bat pollock reporting in, may draw a pon for pat pat

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top qt

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>>29256065
Do it! Draw the Pilly pat pat

>>29256065
draw her getting her tail yanked in a playful non-sexual way just to annoy her

A pony whose tail remains exactly where intended.

>>29256756
Hiked upright for all the stallions to see her winking pussy?

>>29255618
Be a future leader and cover her rear up to her dorm, from there she'll suck my six.

>>29250355
That nerd said he'd finish the story then blue balled us again.

live

>Still haven't written that update to LD
fuck

At least I'm not ded. Have this thing I wrote for Lux's birthday.
>Be Pillow Case the pegasus mare
>Be on Earth
>Be in college
>Be on Winter Break
>Be…d, Bath, and Beyond sells comfy and warm blankets
>You would know; you work there between classes and take full advantage of the employee discounts
>Never in a million years did you think this would be all your cutie mark amounts to
>“Casey, are you gonna get up?”
“Nnnnn… five more minutes.”
>“You said that fifteen minutes ago.”
>Generally, a mark and a high school education are more than enough for a pony to live off of
>‘Generally’ being ‘up until a few years ago when a freak magic accident led to the discovery of a planet full of exceptionally bald, magicless primates’
>Celestia decided to make friends with them because that’s how she rolls
>“Come on. I made cocoa for both of us.”
>Unfortunately for you, they can make a lot more pillows and linens than one pegasus mare with a pillow cutie mark can
>And sweet Celestia do they have some nice fabrics
>You very well may end up naming your firstborn foal Polyester
>Sure, you’re kind of young to be thinking along those lines
>But it’s so SOFT!
>Like fresh fleece times a gajillion!
>You can’t beat them, so you joined them

[Post # 1 / 6]

>>29258197
>The first step was to move to Earth and get a degree in something
>Dad recommended computer science
>He’s always been an ‘ear to the ground, wings in the sky’ kind of guy, so you’re taking his word for it when he says computer people are going to be in demand
>Those are his words, ‘computer people’
>Times may be changing a bit too fast for him
>He may have been biased towards computer peopledom because you were always helping him with the family computer
>Between him and your brothers, you were fixing it every other week
>Your baby brothers were always blaming it on bad magic-proofing
>Bad magic-proofing causes short circuits
>THEY cause the sort of problem that makes you both dread and appreciate that C++ can actually be sort of fun to mess around in
>You haven’t heard anything about it breaking in your letters from home
>“The cocoa’s gonna go cold if we wait too much longer.”
“Don’t we have a microwave for that?”
>“We do, but this is… hang on, let me think for a sec…”
>Hopefully, no news is good news
>It would be nice not to spend Spring Break debugging the computer while mom tears her feathers out because she procrastinated on the tax returns
>Again, something to worry about later
>Nap time is not worrying time
>Right now is nap time
>“…yeah, it’s your fifth nap today. I’ve seen cats that sleep less than you do. There’s no way you’re still tired.”
“But I’m comfyyyyyyyy…”


[2 / 6]

>>29258202
>“So you’re not tired?”
>You peek out of your blanket at the roommate you promised you’d watch Netflix with today
>He’s a rather non-descript guy wearing a sweater, pants, and wool socks
>Also he’s human
>That’s probably worth mentioning
“I’m not, and I still want to do that thing you talked about, but I also don’t wanna leave this blanket.”
>“What a conundrum. I guess we’ll have to work around that.”
>You barely have time to squeak in protest as you are hoisted out of bed, still swaddled in this fantastic blanket
>Your room-mate is playing the ‘big, strong human’ card again
>It’s always ‘I am Anon, hear me roar,’ and then, ‘Watch as I move all this furniture with these five-hoofed things on the ends of my arms,’ and then usually followed by ‘I think I just threw out my spine.’
>Usually good for a laugh, so long as he’s not serious about that last part
>He’s carrying you so you face backwards as he faces forwards
>You wriggle a bit further up his shoulder to get your wings out from under the blanket
>It’s not like he would drop you (intentionally) but falling ANY distance without wings is the most common phobia among pegasi
>You read that in a magazine once, or something
>The chilly air of the apartment makes your feathers stand on end a little
>Living off-campus might be cheap enough for your budget (with a roomie) but that also means the thermostat might never be set to any temperature above ‘affordable’


[3 / 6]

>>29258207
>Anon sets you down on the couch with a grunt
>“There we go. I’ll go get the cocoa.”
“Be quick! I can feel my CQ dropping.”
>“CQ?”
“Comfiness quotient. Trust me, there’s a science to this stuff.”
>Spurred on by your made-up jargon, Anon power-walks into the kitchen
>You reach out a wingtip towards the remote on the coffee table before you
>It’s a bit of a chore, but you manage to prod it with a feather until the TV is turned on and in the Netflix menu
>Just in time, too
>Anon sets your cup of cocoa down right beside the remote and takes his seat
“Thanks!”
>“No problem. Now since you’re the expert, I’m gonna let you pick what we watch today.”
>You pick up your mug of cocoa between your forehooves and blow away some of the steam rising from the cup
“I’m the expert? You know what they’ve got on here better than I do.”
>He shakes his head
>“I meant on how to spend an afternoon comfortably.”
>Oh
>Okay, that makes more sense
>It also gives you a chance to make up more nonsense


[4 / 6]

>>29258211
“Right. There are a couple of different factors I see in play here. We have to have comfy thoughts, which is where the choice of movie comes in. We should go for either a romantic comedy or just plain comedy.”
>You slide the remote across the coffee table with a wingtip
>He scoops it up and starts going through the menus, skipping straight past the romantic comedy section
>“I’ve never been too interested in Rom-Coms.”
“Works for me. Slower stuff is more likely to result in a sleepy comfy, but nonstop gags would give us a happy comfy.”
>“And you’ve had plenty of that first one.”
“Exactly!”
>He’s learning quick
>Anon stops scrolling through the lists on the TV and looks over to you
>“So, how nonstop do we want these gags to be?”
“Medium to high frequency. Not so much that we can’t keep up, but more than enough to hold our interest for a few hours.”
>“I think I know just the thing.”
>He flips back through the menus and switches from movies to TV shows
“We’re watching a show? Those aren’t long enough to reach peak comfiness.”
>“Nobody said we have to only watch one.”
“Fair point.”
>You take a sip of the cocoa
>Not bad, as far as powdered hot cocoa goes
>It doesn’t taste very watered down at all
>You suspect Anon used some half-and-half and an extra packet of cocoa for this
>He’s a good roommate like that


[5 / 6]

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>>29258224
>Anon finally finds the show he was looking for
>‘Looney Tunes: Merrie Melodies’
“I’ve heard of this one. It’s supposed to be a classic, right?”
>“It is. It’s this or yet another Christmas special.”
“Let’s go with this. I can only watch the Grinch steal Christmas so many times. Now for physical comfiness.”
>Anon leans back on the couch, hot cocoa in one hand, remote in the other
>“Check.”
>Not totally true
>You really hope this next step doesn’t seem too forward
>It’s not like he isn’t a reliable, honest, and funny guy
>One you’ve been living with for months
>Still, you aren’t sure you want to take this relationship in the direction this will go if he misreads the situation
>Grandma would flip out if
“Not quite. We’re missing one thing.”
>“What’s that?”
>You slide a wing under the hem of the blanket and drape a bit of it over him
“Snuggles!”
>Anon looks at the edge of the blanket you offered him
>After a second, he does what could be described as a facial shrug and starts pulling some more over himself
>You scoot along the couch with the receding fabric
>Eventually, you end up right beside him
>He goes stiff in surprise as you bump up against him
>“Holy crap. You ARE comfy.”
>He leans his weight against you just a bit
>You reciprocate the gesture
>This seems to be going just as well as you’d hoped
“You said it yourself. I’m the expert. I’ve a got a Doctorate in Soft-ology and everything.”
>“You have a Ph.D in being soft? Is that a real thing in Equestria?”
“It’s a very specialized field.”

[6 / 6]

Pastebinned for your convenience: http://pastebin.com/XM1QsqyA

>>29258228
>navy seal casey
>"what the heck did you just say about me you little nerd, I will snuggle you 20 ways to tartarus before you hit the ground."

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>>29258242
>You will never be aggressively snuggled by a fluffy little pegasus.

>Celestia is doing a goodwill tour on Earth
>See her on the street while walking with your friends
>You do have friends, right?
>All right, fine, you were walking with your now-obsolete pony tulpa and point out Celestia when you see her
"Oh hey, that's Celestia!"
"Dang bruh, so it is," quips your tulpa
>"GET DOWN, PRINCESS!"
>Wait wat
>A blue and yellow ball of fluff rockets out of nowhere and knocks you into the space where your tulpa was, breaking the illusion
>The fluffball is clinging to your chest as you stand there
>It appears to have wings and an orange mane
>It also reminds you of a teddy bear you used to have
>"Wonderbolts Secret Service: put that finger down! Nobody boops the princess on my watch!"
>And it can talk in a kind of scratchy voice
>7/10 would reciprocate hug
>It sort of is hugging you, so you do
>"He's counter-cuddling! Somepony help me!"

>>29255659
I think you mean that she IS a nice milf mare. She had some screen time in season 5 and approaches Harshwhinny levels of cougar-ness. https://derpibooru.org/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&sbq=stormy+flare%2C+screencap

>An older-looking yellow pegasus mare trots up and sighs at the spectacle
>"Oh, for goodness' sake, Spitfire. Is this what they teach at the academy nowadays?"
>"Moooom, you're embarrassing me!"
>She pries your hugger out of your grasp
>"You're embarrassing yourself. Now, watch how it's REALLY done."
>Oldhorse leaps at you and grabs on
>Up is down
>Left is right
>You are on the ground without even knowing how you got there and HOT DAMN are you comfortable
>The words "Was it good for you, too?" ring out in your ears as you lose consciousness

>Spitfire stares in awe and horror of this display of Wai-Fu
>The human assailant is on the ground napping peacefully, murmuring about hugs
>Her mom punches her in the shoulder and trots away
>"Put that one in the record-book, kiddo. I've still got it."

>be Anon
>teleports behind Pillow Case
>smooch

>>29258803
>Lifts tail

>>29258498
Damn thats cute. We need more stories featuring older mares

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Have a good one fellas~

Goodnight bump.

There are a lot of PiE style fics on FimFic. Link to your favorite and discuss them, or don't because you don't want people telling you how to live your life.

I like these two. They're short, sweet, and cute.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/357758/the-platonic-pony-petting-caf
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/323858/pony-break

>>29258498
>"He's counter-cuddling! Somepony help me!"
Oh kek, I need more

>>29260609
What a nice smile

Time for an autistic headcanon

Around the late 20th century, when ponies were first introduced to humans, they realized they were by comparison very naked, and appeared uncouth to humans. At first they would try to hide their genitals with their tail, but when some humans refused to sit in the same spot they sat, it became obvious that a solution was needed.
By the Earth year 1989, a fashion trend that can be attributed to the equestrian fashion designer "Rarity" seemed to solve the problem. Panties, the color of the pony's natural coat color did well to hide the genitals from passing glances. Further refinements included coating the outside of the panties with minky fur fabric, which camouflaged it well against the fur coat of the pony. And for the elite who could afford it, actual real equestrian fur on the outside that made the panties almost invisible against the natural coat.
It had seemed that Rarity's original design had started an arms race in the industry, with the apparent goal of trying to make ponies as featureless as possible.
The fashion trend was such a success, that it even found its way into relative popularity on the Equestrian side of the portal, with supporters claiming that it enhanced sexual relations with their partner, as it made it much more personal and private when the clothing was removed and the genitals were finally revealed.
Nevertheless, nudist support groups arguing against the clothing began to pop up across both worlds, and it's still somewhat common to see the exposed genetalia of a passing pony down the street on earth.
Though the stigma against naked Equestrians has long since faded, it appears this fashion trend is here to stay.

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>>29262330
Sounds interesting.

Pat

Pat pat

Nice thread, I like it!

>>29263770
Pantsu pantsu?

>>29258498
>>29261441

>Ponies fight exclusively with physical affection alternate timelines don't count
>Humans can't bring themselves to use actual warfare on them because they're too adorable
>Also what if they started fighting back with magic and shit?
>Thanks but no thanks

>Be Private Anonymous
>Be in the off-duty bar with an observer from the Equestrian Royal Guard, swapping "war" stories
>"I dunno, Anon. My worst? You really want to hear the worst thing that's happened to me?"
"Try me. I bet mine are worse."
>The guard sighs and takes a swig of his soft drink (complete with swirly straw and little umbrella)
>"All right, this one's just a couple of months after the Crystal Empire reappeared. YakYakistan is just to the north of that and they're a real twitchy bunch. They'll declare war on literally anything, so naturally an entire city appearing in the NCTZ-"
>Goddamn, even alternate dimensions have dumb military acronyms
"Sorry, NCTZ?"
>"No Cuddling or you get Timeout Zone. Anyway, that set them off. They'd already raided the outskirts of the city a few times before my company got there, and that was just them probing the defenses. When they sent their actual invasion force it was severely outnumbered. That doesn't mean it was easy, though. They fight dirty."
>Yaks are two or three times as large as ponies, just going off of what you remember about their Earth analogues
"They sound tough."
>"Yeah. You just can't bring yourself to get close to them. Fighting the Yaks stinks like nothing else. We got them in the end, though."
"How'd you do it?"
>"Clothes pins."
"What?"
>"We put some on our noses so we couldn't smell them."
>...Wait a minute
"Are you saying that the Yaks actually stink?"
>"Yeah. 40% of their body weight is dreadlocks, and it's too cold up there to bathe. So, what's your worst?"
"Probably the time that my buddy Carl lost his leg."
>The guard recoils in disgust
"Don't worry! They got a new one for him."
>"Oh, okay."

>>29264408
That's cute. I would want to see how a pony would try to dom me in bed.

>>29261400
Bumping with a discussion topic.

>>29265190

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sgOHirG7Hw&feature=youtu.be

Cars but made for ponies
Shenanigans when

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>>29267100
Like, tiny cars powered with pedals / electric engine? Ponies would be allowed to drive them on bikeways and wide sidewalks.

>>29267493
proper allowances made

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>>29267100
I was trying to think of ways that real cars could be adapted to ponies, but then I saw >>29267493

This is just the right combination of ridiculous and cute for ponies.

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i should be able to do some /r/s later tonight. Ready those orders fellas

>>29266056
>That little dance at the end

This very well may be the silliest pilly I've ever laid eyes on.

>>29268504

Welcome back, LeStrange!

>Derpy finding Anon's unlocked smartphone and shitposting his Twitter account into oblivion with inane shit like "The main advantage of CFL lightbulbs is that they're swirly"

>>29268594
>Anon finds out she was shitposting
>he picks her up and cuddles for being a silly poni

>you will never take your pony to the range to give welcome them as a new american.
>you will never have that awkward moment where they cant operate the weapon due to lack of fingers.
>you will never expend all the ammunition yourself while they get intoxicated on the drinks you brought.

why even live?

>>29268504
oh boy

>>29250115
Cant hurt to try bring it back maybe people just needed a break

>>29250078
Uhm...

>>29271795
Yeah anon?

>>29271795

>>29261400
I admittedly haven't read too much PiE outside of the threads. What are some good fimfic groups that feature them?
And no, AiE doesn't count. I'm not going to skim through hundreds of AiE fics to find a single PiE one.

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CAN'T GET THE REST OF THAT STRAWBERRY STORY DOWN HERE ON PAGE 9

>>29274128
No sir

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>>29273608
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/149/ponies-in-the-real-world
(best)

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/611/ponies-on-earth
(backup)

I'll try and write a quick story if anyone has any ideas.
Try to stick with canonical characters

>>29250078

>>29250078

>>29275800
Write a green about a pone who's job is to mush grapes on a winery and how she gets blasted off her ass at the end of every shift with free wine
Here's the challenge it can't be berry punch

>>29272498
Where is the story?

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>>29277207
>>29275637
Anons, I have an idea for the main character of said story.

She goes to Earth for a little while to let tempers at the farm cool after an incident with potion making. She then proceeds to lie her ass off about the legal drinking age in Equestria.

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What would she do?

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>>29280060
I'm assuming you mean Celestia.

>Is adorable
>Set up a roadside petting zoo where she is both the zookeeper and animal
>Free petting for the first thirty seconds, then charges by the minute
>Anyone who tries to BAD TOUCH is sent to time out
>Come on, she's only sixty years old
>Let her have her innocence
>Meanwhile, KidAnon down the street sells refreshing lemonade to anyone who cuddled too vigorously for their own good

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>>29280736

>>29250078

>>29277207
>>29278998
Writing

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What's she thinking?

>>29282643
to wake up and run to the bathroom

>>29282742
What if she doesn't make it?

>>29282895
An embarrassed pony will need to change her sheets

>>29282925
Unf

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I miss her.

>>29278998
not sure why you replied to me, but okay.

>>29283701
Oh.

Well, I had to delete the post because I forgot to spoiler the image the first time, so it's probably because I didn't check who I was linking to.

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S T R A W B E R R Y

>>29284628
Poor pony can't cum

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>>29285333

Three weeks late but suck my ass. You didn't make the thread. Reposting because I have nothing new.
--
>Christmas.
>You and Aero are chilling out in the living room, drinking cocoa and taking turns opening up presents.
>Aero was wearing reindeer antlers and a red nose that her mom got her.
>It's funny because Rudolph can fly.
>The joke is lost on her.
>It's your turn.
"This one's from mom," you announce as you tear it open. "Awesome. More socks."
>That actually isn't sarcasm.
>Some sick motherfucker is stealing socks out of the dryer and you're gonna find them one day.
"If she gets me a pack of underwear I won't have to buy any for another year. Alright, you're turn," you tell Aero.
>She grabs a flat rectangular box.
>"Oh, this one's from you," she said as she read the tag.
>She tears off the wrapping and lifts the cover.
>"Ha!" she laughs as she lifts the two handmade wings from inside the box. "That's cool," she says as she looked them up and down. "What'd these cost?"
"It actually took me forever to make those damn things," you explain. "Those are real feathers and the harness is leather. It was even harder keeping it a secret."
>Aero checked the little strap that hooks to the wings.
>"I bet."
>She slipped them on and buckled them down.
>"Ha! Thanks, dude."
"No problem."
>You bump fists.

>>29286375
"Well I don't have anything else," you said as you inspected the tree.
>You pick up one small box.
"Athough you got something here. It doesn't say who it's from though."
>"Huh?"
>Aero took the box and checked the tag.
>"You're right."
>Opening it up, she looked inside.
>A bright light emenated from the gift the moment she opened it.
>A magic white feather rose out of the box.
"What the hell is that?"
>Aero tilted her head to look at the feather from different angles.
>"No idea."
>And then she touched it.
>A bright light pulsed out like a flashbang, blinding the both of you.
>"Oh God, it's burned into my retinas!" cried Aero as she ran blindly around the living room, crashing into everything imaginable.
>You had actually tilted back in the sofa you were sitting on and tumbled over onto the floor.
>After a minute or so, your eyesight started to return.

>>29286386
>Peeking cautiously back over the turned over couch, you see that the feather was gone.
>And Aero was hanging ass-out of a hole in the fucking drywall.
"What the fuck!" you finally say.
>"I know, right! This isn't April Fools!" Aero's muffled voice replies. "Now get me out. I accidentally punched through into my closet."
>Walking over to your roommate, you grab her flank and tug.
>It takes some effort but out she pops.
>"Phew. Well that was terrible. I can still see that thing when I open my eyes," says Aero.
>You just stare at her.
>"You alright? Did that thing make you deaf, too?" she inquired.
>And then you point.
"Wings..." you mutter.
>"What? Did I break them?" she asked as she checked her side. "I'm sorry. I didn't think tha- tha- tha-" she stuttered. "Wings..."
>Reaching back slowly, she touched them.
>And felt them.
>"AAAAAH!!!" she panics.
"AAAAAH!!!" you panic at her panic.
>"AAAAAH!!!" she panics some more.
>The cycle goes on for several minutes.
"What the fuck is going on!" you shout.
>"I don't know! Call the doctor!" Aero replied.
>You reach for the phone, but drop it right away.
"Fuck that. Ambulances are expensive. Get in the car."

>>29286394
>In the emergency room, Aero got herself a pony doctor.
>"Okay, so what seems to be the problem?" he asked as he walked up to her.
>"The wings!" Aero shouted frantically.
>The doctor glanced at them before looking back at Aero.
>"What about them?"
>"They're not supposed to be there!"
>Doc wasn't amused.
>Looking at her chart, Aero had written Earth under race.
>He quickly corrected that.
>"Listen, this is an emergency room. Now unless you have a real issue, I must attend to other patients."
>Aero was dumbfounded and couldn't formulate and answer.
>"You take care," said the doctor as he walked out.

>>29286398
>Riding back home, Aero recalls the short story.
"Wow, what a dick," you comment.
>"Right! I thought they were supposed to help us!"
>She's been struggling in her seat the entire time.
>"Stupid things! Go down!" she shouts at her wings.
"When I get erect, I usually just fap and it goes down," you joke.
>"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Aero.
>The sudden realization made her blush.
>"Anon, don't be gross! This is serious!"
"Haha. Alright. Lets get home and figure this crap out."
>You pull into the driveway a few minutes later.
>As you hop out, you see Aero struggle with her seat belt some more and cursing at it.
>Finally free, she hops out and slams the door.
>The wing tip of her left-most wing gets caught in the door, however.
>You cringe as you watch it happen.
>Aero stands there frozen for a few seconds before a loud hissing starts emenating from her.
>"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-!!!" she starts but never finishes.
>Her face is red as a beet and she looks like she's about to cry.
>She slowly reaches up and unlatches the car, freeing her wing.
>Then she closes it again.
>You walk inside as a whirlwind of curses ensues.

>>29286408
>When Aero eventually joins you, you're checking out the box the flashbang grenade came in.
>You're reading the note that came inside.
>"What's that?" asked the newly-winged pegasus.
"It's about the feather," you explain, handing it off to her.
>"Dear Aero," she read aloud. "With the passing of another year comes good tidings from everypony on a happy new year. It has come to our attention that in honor of your achievement in causing less property damage than the year prior, we offer you an item from your wish list. Its effects last all of twenty-four hours, but we are sure you will make good use of them. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!"
"Wow."
>"I know," said Aero. "I'm pretty sure I destroyed more stuff this year than last. I guess it must have all been cheap or something."
>She shrugged and tossed the letter aside.
>It fluttered down next to your broken homemade wings.
>Apparently when the real wings grew in, they forced the harness apart and the wings busted in half to compensate.
"Aw man," you pout as you pick them off the floor.
>"Only twenty-four hours!" Aero randomly shouts.
>You guess the fact only just ticked.
>"We gotta go get some hours in!" she shouted again as she bolt for the door.
>Running outside, she quickly turned around and came back in.
>"Hat and scarf," she reminded herself.
>Rushing to her room, she grabbed her poof-ball hat and and scarf and rushed back outside.

>>29286415
>You decided to stay in and clean up the wrapping paper and garbage that was still littering the floor.
>Every now and then, you heard a scream and saw a blur fall from outside your window and into the snow bank.
>Aero had been climbing onto the roof and diving off in hopes of attaining flight.
>She failed every time, it seems.
>After about what felt like an hour, she came trotting inside.
>Or, shuffled rather.
>Completely covered in snow, she slowly meanders inside as if she's half-frozen.
>"I got snow in places a girl shouldn't have snow," she announced.
>Shaking herself off, the whole living room was practically soaked now.
"Really?" you ask in an unamused tone.
>"Sorry. But these things don't even work," pout Aero. "They won't even flap!"
"Have you tried actually trying to move them? They aren't gonna move on their own. I imagine it's like growing a new pair of legs."
>"Uh... No, no I haven't," admitted the winged Earth pony. "Come help me get a feeling for them and help wear off the frostbite."
"But that means I hav to get off the couch..." you groan. "And We Bare Bears is on!"
>Aero rolled her eyes.
>"Fine. Move over."
>She hopped up beside you and turned her back to you.
>"Chop chop," she ordered.

>>29286420
>You have no idea what you're supposed to be doing, so you just get down to business.
>Grabbing each wing with one hand, you try to move them around but they're stiff as hell.
>Jerking them around, you elicit some groans from the pony.
"You alright?" you ask.
>"Just keep going. I think I'm starting to feel something," said Aero.
>You find the range of motion that the wings will freely move around in so you start rotating and stretching them out.
>"Aw yeah, there we go~," cooed Aero as she started to visibly loosen up.
>A thought crosses your mind.
"Question."
>"What's up?"
"Aren't pegasus wings the eqivalent of a dick or something?" you ask.
>Aero looks back at you with a "What the hell?" expression.
>"Uh... No?" she answered.
"I heard this is actually an erotic area for them. I just wanna be sure I'm not accidentally giving you a brojob or something."
>"If I shove my hoof in your ass, would you find that erotic?" Aero retorted.
"Not entirely, no," you answer.
>"Then quit trying to make this weird," she finished.
"A'ight."

>>29286425
>Another minute or two of your light massage has Aero's wings loosened up pretty well.
>She hops down to the floor and stretches them out entirely.
>"Ah~," she sighs. "That feels awesome."
"Can I watch my cartoons now?" you ask.
>"Sure thing. I'm gonna go try these babies out!"
>Aero runs back outside.
>Two minutes later you hear another scream and crash.
"You need to flap!" you shout through the bay window.
>"I see that now!" comes the voice from the other side.

>The day pretty much continues on like this.
>Aero insistently trying to catch flight but mostly failing.
>You go outside at several instances to watch and offer feedback.
>At one point, she actually manages to maintain flight for a few seconds before a gust of cold wind throws her into the snow.
>"Wow! Did you see that!" she calls excitedly.
"I did. And without a parachute or anything!" you reply.
>A light bulb flashes in Aero's head.
>"I have an idea!"

>>29286434
>Several hours later, the two of you finish a giant snow ramp.
>It was really just a matter of piling as much snow as possible against the house until it hit the roof and then sloping it into a jump.
>"It's perfect!" says Aero. "Get the sled and meet me topside!"
>Following her instructions, you climb the roof and listen in on the plan.
>"Okay. I'm going to lay on your lap with my wings spread. You're going to hold me as we sled down the ramp and then let go once we hit the jump."
"Why do I have to be there?" you ask.
>"Because you're a fat ass and the extra weight will help us gain speed."
"That's cold," you tell her, mildly hurt. "I just got that winter coat goin' on."
>"Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now hop on!"

>>29286440
>You take your seat and hold on to the chimney so that you don't slip prematurely and fall off the damn roof.
>Easier said than done.
>Aero takes her place.
>Her tail keeps whipping you in the face.
"Ready?" you ask.
>"Go!" she orders.
>You release your grip and are nigh instantly shooting down this ramp.
>The whole thing lasts less than three seconds, but holy hell did you pick up a lot of speed in that time.
>Especially with the drop-off at the edge of the roof.
>The sled hits the jump going who-knows-how-fast and rockets the two of you into the air.
>"Woo!!!" cheers Aero as she separates from the sled.
"Shit!!!" you scream as you narrowly miss the windshield of a passing car, hit the road, bust your tailbone, and then tumble into the snowbank on the opposite side.
>"I'm doing it!" you hear Aero call.
>Sustaining critical ass damage, you can only roll over and look into the sky.
>Aero can be seen for a moment before sailing off into the distance.
>"How do I turn around!?" you hear her shout once more.
>A minute later, the sound of a distant crash and dogs barking hit your ears.
>The driver of the vehicle that almost hit you had stopped his car and gotten out.
>"What the hell do you think you're doing!" he demanded.
>You lift your arm up and lazily wave it around.
"Friend... Learning to fly..." you lazily explain. "I'm gonna go sit in a bucket of ice cream..."
>You slowly stagger to your feet, grab the sled, and limp back home.
>The driver cussed you out, but you were too preoccupied with your traumatized anus to care.

>>29286448
>After taking an ice pack from the freezer, you find a spot on the couch and place the cooling pad under your asscheeks.
>Aero comes home some time later.
>You wanna guess something like thirty minutes, but you weren't watching the time.
>One of her wings had her scarf wrapped around it.
"Are you alright?" you ask.
>"Yeah..." she answered. "I just hurt one of my wings pretty bad, though."
"Oh shit. Do you need to go to the hospital?"
>She waved a dismissive hoof in the air.
>"Nah. It'll be gone in the morning, remember?"
>Aero walks up and climbs onto the couch next to you.
"So I guess your flying day is over?" you ask.
>"Yeah. It kinda sucks... But that was so totally wicked!" she exclaims. "Did you see how far I went?"
"No. Too busy trying not to die from anal shock. How far'd you go?"
>"Something like five blocks. I hit a shed on the way down."
"You gotta work on those turns," you say with a laugh.
>Aero chuckled too.
>"Yeah. But I had fun."
"It was fun to watch," you tell her.

>>29286450
>The sun outside was almost gone.
>It wasn't that late, but days are short this time of year.
>A loud yawn escaped the temporary pegasus.
>"I'm beat..." she said. "I think I'm gonna crash."
"Ha."
>Aero snickered a bit.
>"No pun intended," she finished as she stepped off the couch and went to her room.
>"Later."
"Good night."
>It was about that time for you, as well.
>Flipping off the TV, you grab a box from under the couch and go to your bedroom.

>>29286457
>Come morning, Aero rolled over and groaned.
>"Aw... My back..."
>Her wings, as expected, were gone.
>And apparently the aches from the bruised one transferred directly into her shoulders.
>Climbing out of bed, she sighed and went into the living room.
>"Well that was fun while it lasted..."
>In the living room, something odd catches her attention.
>There was a flat rectangular box wrapped up and leaning against the tree.
>To: Aero; From: Anon.
>Curious, she layed it on the floor and opened it.
>Lifting the top revealed a pair of homemade wings that had been repaired with duct tape and the harness shoddily reattached.
>A tag hung off one of them.
>'Plan B'.
>"Thanks Anon," the filly said to herself.
"You're welcome."
>Aero jumped at the sudden surprise of you standing at the other side of the living room.
>In your hands you hold up a familiar kite.
"Plan B?" you suggest.
>Aero smiled.
>"Plan B," she agreed.
>The two of you share a high five and run outside.
>Fuck yeah, Christmas magic!

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>>29286462
There's my contribution. It's not a new contribution, but I kept the thread up for a little bit at least. I don't actually remember this story either and I was having a laugh re-reading it. Take care. y'all.

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>>29286471

>>29286462
>>29286457
>>29286450
>>29286448
>>29286440
>>29286434
>>29286425
>>29286420
>>29286415
>>29286408
>>29286398
>>29286394
>>29286386
>>29286375
Was this posted in AiE? I don't think I've read it before.

>>29286471
thanks

>>29286928
It was posted back in July or something. I remember because I got a "Christmas in July" idea and just made it regular Christmas instead. It didn't get much attention because people thought it was a repost.

>>29287740
Scratch that. Pastebin says March.

>>29253298
I know you! This is the story you wrote for the old Ponies in WW1 thread back from April/May of 2016. Never did finish the story... But neither did I finish mine.

>>29288596
yeah figured id try and continue it here but, it seemed to be to low quality

>>29252108
MLH Cast:

Element of Magic: David Bowie
Element of Generosity: Richard Branson
Element of Honesty: The Dalai Lama
Element of Loyalty: Abraham Lincoln
Element of Kindness: Bob Ross
Element of Laughter: Jim Carrey

>>29289567
>Element of Loyalty: Abraham Lincoln
explain.

>>29289581
whoops, he was supposed to be honesty.

The Dalai was supposed to be loyalty.

lmao I can't remember which of dash and AJ are honest or loyal either

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>>29289601
>not remembering appul is for honest

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>>29289622
i dont really pay attention to background ponies m8

>>29289567
>Lincoln
>Anything except a bloodthirsty tyrant who would have turned the US into a dictatorship if he wasn't assassinated
He certainly wouldn't have been Honesty. Fucking "naw dudes I totally don't wanna free the slaves"

>>29289743
>started a war to free slaves
>"I cannot tell a lie"
>Was dubbed Honest Abe

Don't you know your own history, silly burger?

also let's see you find someone famous and honest, go on, I'll wait

>>29289802
silly foreigner, it wasn't about freeing slaves, that wasn't even used until the war had already started since it was a hot button topic of the time. It was also a way to get "freed men" to enlist and volunteer to fight against the south.

Im a Flint nigger and even i know this shit

>>29289802
>Famous and honest
Easy, Andrew Jackson. Dude didn't fuck around, when people accused him of violating the constitution he just said "yeah, faggots, I am. Do something about it"

>>29288883
I liked it....

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>>29289863
>honesty
>committing treason

>>29289886
>>29289682
Tom go home.

>>29289886
>The genocide of Native Americans
>treason
100% with the will of the American people. It was the """lawful""" (((politicians))) that didn't like it

>>29288883
>>29289885
So did I. And I thought it was dead over half a year ago. Please add more.

pillow case

>>29289863
>>29289886
>>29289908
Are you all aware of the phrase, "git gud?" Commonly used in the fighting game community and other groups based around competitive video games, it's a simple mantra said when a scrub shows up. It means exactly what you think: Adapt. If you aren't going to change YOURSELF, you deserve everything you have coming to you.

"Professional" gamers, and the spergs who admire them, are more familiar with the concept of "if you don't adapt you deserve to be killed" than insecure nerds with white guilt. I hope this is a wake up call. You know who you are.

>>29291147
Lifter, Tail

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Less /pol/ more /PiE/

>Be young George WashingtAnon
>You have been left home whilst your parents are out for various errands
>Mistress Applejack is to care for you in the meantime
>She is an odd woman
>Her accent is odd
>She insists on contracting the word "you" and "all" when addressing a group, for example
>Her garb, and lack thereof, is odd
>Naught but a bizarrely misshapen tricorn
>Her body is even odder still
>In simple terms, she is an orange pony with oversized facial features and a depiction of three apples on either side of her hips
>Were that not strange enough, she just gave you nap time while the sun is still three full hands-widths above the horizon
>Total bullshit
>Disregard the constabulary, you're playing outside
>You open the bedroom door with caution
>Mistress Applejack is resting a room away with her back to the door
>You exit the house in the direction opposite to her
>Be outside
>Still feeling rebellious
>Retrieve axe
>Approach cherry tree on property
>You swing the axe with all of your youthful might
>THWACK!
>Oh fuck, that was louder than expected
>Already there's the sound of hoofbeats inside your home
>THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!
>The hoofbeats approach
>You keep thwacking it like a lonely teen on prom night
>"George, what in the blazes-?!"
>THWACK!
>Crackle, thump
>Rice Crispies
>You have felled the cherry tree
>"Consarnit, George WashingtAnon! Your pappy's gonna be right mad with you when he gets home!"
"Not if I tell him you did it."
>Mistress Applejack scowls and stares you in the eye
>She approaches until you are nose-to-nose with her
>"That there's a lie. I don't care much for liars."
>Many children of your generation die before adulthood
>You gulp and silently swear not to become one of them
"Okay, I'll tell him I did it."
>"Good. Now, would you care to tell me WHY?"
"'Cause cherries are stupid?"
>She smiles and ruffles your hair with a hoof
>"I knew you listened to me! Midget apples like those oughta get put out of their misery."

Back from page 10 you go!

>>29290456
Alright, just didn't want to flood the thread with a green anons didn't want

Boop

>>29293441
Yep, definitely wanted. Flood us

>>29292711
Hahaha I loved it

>>29292711
As a non american pls explain the cherry tree thing

>>29295499
I cannot tell a lie anon.

>>29295499
One of the legends surrounding George Washington is the time he cut down his father's cherry tree. I forget why he did it, but when his dad asked him what happened to his perfectly good cherry tree, George responded with "I cannot tell a lie" and owned up to it immediately.

I saved you.

>>29292711
haha

>>29291166
are you okay dude?

did you just have a stroke?

casey acute

>>29299066
Not disagreeing, but we need more canon pones.

>>29299257
I've been saying that for years. It would definitely attract more people. And it'd be better to ignore the origins shit like in AiE and just act like they've been here forever or at least a while.

Here's a thing you guys might like:
>>29298769
>>29299421
>>29299434
>>29299439

>>29299733
Not bad. I haven't seen this concept used too often. The only other time I can recall is for this thread bumper in AiE, though I haven't been to the Pet Pony or Slave Pony generals.


>Twilight attempts to send Anonfilly to a pocket dimension for timeout because Anonfilly always walks out of the timeout corner
>Fails miserably, Anonfilly is now on Earth
>Anonfilly tries talking to people
>They treat him like a normal horse and act like he's not speaking
>Picked up by animal control and dropped off at a petting zoo
>Timeout finally expires and Anonfilly returns to Equestria, but not before Mrs. Geller's preschool field trip learns a bunch of new words
>Nobody knows how 4-year old kids learned to call people things like "creampie-cunt slut" over the span of a single afternoon

>>29300244
Topkek. Should be expanded

What the buck did you just bucking say about me, you little mud pony? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Unicorn SEALS (Super Equestrian Amorous Love Squad), and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Saddle Arabia, and I have over 300 confirmed hugs. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top hugger in the entire Equestrian hooved forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the buck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this planet, mark my bucking words. You think you can get away with saying that stuff to me over the Interneigh? Think again, bucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the country and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your snuggle virginity. You’re bucking cuddled, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hug you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hooves. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed cuddling, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Royal Equestrian Snuggle Corps and I will use it to its full extent to cuddle your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will pour love all over you and you will drown in it. You’re bucking dead, kiddo

>>29301728
Cadence's royal guard needs to chill the fuck out.

>>29302550
You think THEY'RE polite?

You don't want to meet their caneighdian counterparts.

>>29300244
Thats a cute idea. I dont think we have a lot of stories where anon gets transformed into a pony, do we?

>>29303203
A FUCKING LEAF

>>29303505
I recall that Eppy made one that co-stars Noteworthy. Nothing that's straight up Anonpone in its current form, and definitely no Anonfilly.

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>>29304798
Noteworthy is not a transformed human, she is a poni

>>29304950
I know she is. I said co-starring Noteworthy. Anon becomes pone, and Noteworthy is there too.

http://pastebin.com/yfgwVH8C

>be pony
>followed crowd of people to big celebration today
>don't know what's going on
>you think they're getting a new king
>don't pay attention because someone gave you cotton candy and a hat
>it's cold out here

>>29305175
>Keep being pony
>Look at hat
>It has writing on it about making a place great again
>As far as you recall, you're in the place it's talking about
>It seems pretty great here already
>You got a hat and snack for free
>Is it not great now and they're going to make it great?
>Is it great now and it will not so great, but then later it will be great?
>You aren't sure
>You hope it's the first one
>If getting free hats and snacks isn't great, you can't wait to see what they think is great
>Probably if you got a free hat and a jacket and then all-you-can-eat snacks
>It's still cold out here, and you're out of cotton candy

>>29305175
>>29305735
God I love this general.

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>>29306471

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>>29305735
>>29306471
>Still be pony
>Want more cotton candy
>You ask the guy who gave you the candy if you can have more
>He says he's out of candy
>You ask when he's getting more
>He tells you to stop being greedy and fuck off
>You decide not to question him
>Maybe if you fuck off you can get some cotton candy
>A bunch of walking later and you find a convenience store that isn't closed
>You ask the guy behind the counter if he has any off
>He shows you where the off is
>What a nice man
>As you're about to buy the off, you notice there are bags of cotton candy and buy that instead
>This cotton candy isn't free
>The alternative probably would have cost even more
>You have no idea where to take a can of bug spray on a first date
>And what if you had to meet the parents?
>This is all very confusing

>>29308345
cute

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>>29308345
>first time you've ever seen one of those snake cars
>as far as you could tell they were reserved for only the most elite in this society
>was it long to hold all their cotton candy perhaps?
>if you had one you'd fill it with cotton candy
>the long car was on fire now and strange people danced around it in a horrendous fashion
>why would they do that to something so wonderful?
>your belly aches and the off spray you bought with the last of your bits tastes gross

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P.I.E. Ponies Inside the Earth

When somebody dug a little too deep..

>>29309622
Subterranian mares

>>29309622
Remember that scene in Portal 2 ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulzFrZNAKq0
That's were "they" are hiding all the ponies.

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>>29309638
>>29310048
Hollow Earth Equestria

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>>29310774
>Celestia and Luna control the sun and the moon, which are in the sky, which are inside the earth, which is among the stars, which is inside the earth, which is on top of a turtle that is on top of an infinite number of other turtles, which are among the stars, which-

help

i thought too much

please make it stop

>>29310774
What if solid Earth Equestria? Ponies live in the mantle and are made of lava.

Would you still love your waifu if she was literally hot?

Will Eppy ever come back and write again?

>>29311159
Celestia and Luna command the inner Earth Sun and Moon which exist amidst the interstitial space inside the Earth at the center of which is a dwarf singularity which leads to another dimension from whose Inverted point of view Equestria exists Outside the Earth and the outer Earth exists Inside the Earth.
But yeah, that's basically correct

>>29313157
left the ride 1,5 year ago, I have him/her on Skype but I don't want to bother him/her

Pillow case isdrunkg

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>>29314332
Pegasus ponies do tend to be lightweights

>>29308345
>Maybe if you fuck off you can get some cotton candy
Holy shit, I found that way funnier than it probably should have been.

>>29310774
I was literally just thinking this but forgot the phrase "hollow Earth". Was gonna say like that planet in Halo Wars.

>be pony in DC
>people are rioting over the new king
>they say he wants to kill everyone
>they tell you that the king wants to force all ponies to leave and that you will have everything taken from you and forced to go, if not killed
>you cry and run away and lock yourself inside
>you don't wanna leave

>>29314838
I want this poni to accidently meet the king without knowing he is this guy

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>>29314901
>"I heard t-this guy wants to kill us or send us back."
>'Wrong.'
>"T-they say he doesn't like ponies."
>'WRONG.'
>"You're kind of scaring me.."
>'WROOOOOONG.'

>>29314901
>Whoa, who's that tall guy with the toupee?
>You remember his face from the people who gave you cotton candy yesterday
>Maybe he'll give you some!
>All these guys in suits are standing around him, though.
>You can't get through.
>The tall man points to your hat and motions you over.
>He doesn't have any cotton candy, but he signs your hat for some reason
>Wow, there's a lot of people with cameras
>You just want some more gosh darned cotton candy

Pilly case is LIT

bump, continuing inauguration day pone story.

>>29315029
>Start walking home
>Some more of those angry people see your hat
>They shout at you so you run away
>You think they're not chasing you but you want to be sure
>Run into one of those big glass buildings humans have
>More guys in suits are inside
>They look at you funny and touch their ears a lot
>It's kind of creepy
>One of them comes up to you and says they're letting you stay as long as you don't make a mess
>He says it's because you're a pony and ponies are nice
>You thank him for the compliment and for letting you into their secret clubhouse
>Wander around the building
>A bunch of humans are having a fancy lunch
>Oh hey, it's that guy who signed your hat
>You walk over and say hi
>He asks what you're doing here
>You tell him about the angry people outside
>He says they're just angry because they lost and are wrong, and lost
>You also tell him about how the mean things they said about the new king made you worried
>They said that the new king would send all sorts of people away, maybe even ponies
>He tells you that won't ever happen
>A guy at the next table over tells the guy who signed your hat that he said the opposite thing yesterday
>That guy seems upset
>You excuse yourself
>No reason to meet more upset people today
>Plus this lunch was too fancy to have any cotton candy
>You do grab a couple of rolls of bread or two on the way out
>They're warm
>Oh, neat, these are freshly baked!
>Humans almost never serve fresh bread rolls!
>Score!
>It's not cotton candy but you'll take what you can get

>>29317555
I want to take care of this pony

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>>29317555

>>29317923
Don't we all?

>>29319615
Yes. I do, at least.

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>>29317555
>>29317923
>>29319615
>>29319620

>Outside again
>Put hat on backwards so less people see it and get angry
>Bonus: you look gnarly or tubular or some other word that means you look cool
>It doesn't work
>A lady sees your hat and cries
>You try to cheer her up but she just walks away
>She said something about finding a safe space
>That is a good idea
>The upset people are setting things on fire and the police are throwing really loud fireworks at them to make them stop
>Safety would be nice to have
>You decide to find someone wearing the same hat as you
>They wouldn't get upset about your hat if they have the same hat, right?
>This proves to be the case
>The person you find is very impressed with your hat
>You ask him where you can find a safe space
>He giggles and tells you where to find one
>You thank the nice man
>You find the place and get ready to open the door
>It has one of those slippery door knobs that are hard to use with hooves
>A human walks up to you from behind
>Maybe he will open the door for you
>You ask if he's coming inside
>He says he isn't yet, but that it might be in the cards for him later
>You aren't sure what that means
>Maybe he's a fortune teller
>You ask what he means
>He says he'd like to buy you dinner first
>More free food?
>Yes please
>You and your new fortune teller friend get a pizza and bring it back to his house
>Your side has broccoli on it because none of the pizzerias stock flowers
>What kind of pizzeria doesn't stock flowers?
>That is a shameful omission from the menu
>How are they still in business?
>Your appetite is sated for the moment
>Maybe you'll go find some more cotton candy tomorrow

Anonymous collaborator, please don't make this >rape-y. Anon is a respectful man (unless it's funny not to be) and >rape would kill the comedy.

>>29320075
[suspense increases]

>>29320075
How many people are writing this? I was >>29315029

>It starts raining pretty hard, and you don't want to go home.
>Your new friend says you can sleep on the couch if you want.
>It's a comfy couch
>He puts on a movie.
>It's about some weird yellow guys. They're super short and you can barely understand what they're saying, but it's cute.
>But then he changes it to Despicable Me. Aww, guess you can learn more about this "Korea" place later.
>He says his name is "Uhnawn"
>What a funny name
>He claims you were on TV today. You don't remember going to anywhere called "TV" but you let it slide.
>Aww, he has no family. He must be lonely.
>At least he says he has one friend, someone named "righty." You'll be his second friend, you guess.
>He asks if you liked meeting that tall guy today.
>He was pretty cool you guess.
>Wait, what? That was their king?
>Oh shoot. You didn't brush your mane or anything!
>Apparently you're the first pony aside from the Princesses he's talked to. That's cool.
>Unawn says he thinks the king is cool too.
>You tell him about all the people yelling and lighting fires.
>He says something about "nig-hurs" and a moon man.
>Is that like a Luna of this world?
>The movie ends and you realize you still haven't found any cotton candy.
>Unawn says he has some!
>But it's late and he won't give you any until tomorrow.
>Better get to sleep soon then.
>Man, this is a comfy couch...

>>29321204
This is very cute

File: 1462421208697.png (127KB, 525x547px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 525x547px

>>29321204
thank you for the green anon. Its very cozy

>>29321204

>>He puts on a movie.
>>It's about some weird yellow guys. They're super short and you can barely understand what they're saying, but it's cute.
>>But then he changes it to Despicable Me. Aww, guess you can learn more about this "Korea" place later.
I love this

Pillow Case but she catches a mean cold after various wet mishaps on her way home in the rain

>>29323211

>>29323211
*Not a real filly

>>29321204
I was

>>29305735
>>29308345
>>29317555
and
>>29320075


I think I might write more later. There's still the Women's March on the next day.

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156KB, 974x1024px

>>29324624
>Not a real filly...
How about n-now anon w-will you accept me..
>pic related

>>29325260
Don't forget those pussy hats

>>29323565
who will care for her

>>29325260
I ignored the Women's March because it was retarded.

>>29327947
>>29325260
I'm starting to lose track of who's writing what here. Should we take names?

>>29327947
Liberals ignored Trump for the same reason. Look how that turned out for them.
When you find the red pill that tastes the worst, that's the one you should take first.

>>29328001
Only if we're also kicking ass.

Murrica is a dangerous place for ponies
Captcha: Only nice
Move ponies to a nice place

Ded

>>29329296
Where would pone go for vacation on Earth?

>>29331115
Stay in 'merica

Those other places are full of touchy ethnic people who don't know how to treat a pony

>>29331121
Murrica is a place full of dangerous people with mental problems and unhealthy food

>>29331121
>>29331141
"Merica" and "other country" are very vague places to go. What about actual attractions? Resorts and theme parks and such?

In America, for example,

>Ponies believe Disneyland is a sovereign nation
>Six Flags is believed to be a federation
>They think you need a spaceship to get to Disneyworld (Why else would it be so close to Cape Canaveral?)

>>29331166
>they think disneyland is a sovereign nation
>"Anon, don't we need passports to enter the country?"
>'Oh my god, if we didn't need them to enter Adventureland, we DON'T NEED THEM FOR FANTASYLAND!'
>"...I'm still going to ask them to stamp mine."