Magicless Anonymous

>>29205410
I just stole your wings, where's your fucking god now, purple

>>29205419
Generals are how we get green. You like green, don't you?

>>29205419
It's a followup of a green story thread, no one knows how long it might last

hurry up with the story m8
no pressure

>>29205410
How is this different than any other AiE story?

>>29205419
Generals come, generals go. It's not like there is an ever-increasing mountain of generals on the board.

>>29205410
It should be called "you dudes let it die" edition.

>>29205410

>>29205871
It's not.

>>29205871
It isn't. But since AiE has a post rate of one post every 3 hours, no one really goes there any more.

(You)s are the lifeblood of writefags. Without them, they'll stop writing and leave.

>>29206469
>Without them, they'll stop writing and leave.
This. Whoever claims not to care about replies isn't being honest, either with the others or himself. It isn't even about wanting to receive praises, it's just knowing someone is reading your stuff.

>Anon does the 'pull my finger off' trick.
>Twilight and the princesses freak out when Twi can't detect any magic being used.

nein

>>29205410
>But this is a fictional world. Is it not? Then if it is, I can learn magic in this world. So there. I'm already working my way to become a wizard soon.

>>29207499
As a writefag, I can confirm this. I love (You)s. I absolutely hate not seeing replies. I like praise, but I like knowing that someone is just reading even more. The threads I've been in where people beg for green but never reply to write fans suck. I personally try to put a lot of meat in my stories so people can have fun discussing, predicting, or analyzing. Nobody ever does though.

>>29209900
Absolutely. Not getting any reply is even worse than being told to fuck off. There is literally nothing more discouraging.

>The threads I've been in where people beg for green but never reply to write fans suck.
Pretty much. And they are a lot. This is why I've made only oneshots. I know I would just lose the drive after a few posts and drop the story otherwise. With prewritten things it's easier: write, post, and whatever happens, it doesn't matter anymore.

>>29209965
And then you have threads like this that make you feel warm and fuzzy because people like your story enough to make new threads. Then they make you feel sad when the original story ends and someone else tries to start a story and it just bumps itself into oblivion and eventually peters out. We need to find a good balance here.

>>29207734
>Anon 'magically' pulls a Bit out from a guard's ear
>Celly thinks the guard's been stealing from the royal coffers, has him thrown into a dungeon cell

>>29211373
>Anon tries to explain it was a trick
>Celestia won't believe him
>He has to do the trick to her too to make her believe
>She thinks she's stealing from the coffers too and has herself thrown in the dungeon

>>29197923

>The guards await you at the door of the castle.
>They’ve made it to standing in the doorway, but still not quite outside.
>They don’t even say goodbye as you leave since the argument they’re having on rock, paper, scissors is clearly more important.
>”I won. That means you go out first.”
>”That’s insane. You picked rock.”
>”No, I picked paper.”
>”That was clearly rock.”
>”Let’s try again.”
>”Rock, paper, scissors, magic missile!”
>”Ha! You picked rock!”
>”This is paper! You picked rock!”
>Should you tell them?
>No, they’ll figure it out eventually.
>You just want to go home and forget about today.
>The cold, hard dirt feels like concrete as you mosey through the town, eventually coming to your little cabin on the edge.
>In the pale moonlight, you’re able to just make out how ragged the path leading through the trees has gotten.
>You’ll have to cut those tomorrow.
>After making it inside, you motion to take off your jacket but stop short of unbuttoning.
>The fire has been dead for hours. It’s just as cold if not more so than outside.
>God damn it. You need to get one going before you catch a death of cold.
>With your jacket still on, you make way to the fireplace to fill it up.
>As you approach it, you pass by your small workstation in the livingroom.
>Your small candle has gone out, leaving some hardened wax on the candlestick that extends down like icicles onto one of your open notebooks.
>You grimace and go to remove it.
>Once there, you find yourself sitting down and reading through the rough draft of spells you had.
>Wow, what an idiot you were.
>How could you have ever thought that you would be able to understand this stuff?

>>29212288

>You should just get rid of it.
>Destroy it all.
>Erase this part of your life.
>You grab a fresh pencil hold it to the page, ready to scrub out the runes.
>Your hand freezes.
>No, not cold freezes.
>Well yes, it’s also freezing from the cold, but mean frozen as in it won’t move.
>Alright, so maybe you’re not ready to erase it. You can still scribble it out though.
>You flip the pencil around and put it to the page.
>A few strokes later and you’ve made another rune.
>No, bad Anon. Scribble. Destroy the book.
>Before you know it, you’ve put down a dozen more runes and made a dozen more spells, each probably as incomplete and unfunctional as the one you had Twilight try.
>What are you doi--
>Suddenly it occurs to you what the problem is.
“Of course,” you exclaim.
>That’s where you went wrong.
>You’ve been writing runes from your own perspective!
>All these spells are what Anon would think were the basic components of a spell.
>You stupid fucking asshole. You don’t have magic. You don’t know jack shit about magic.
>Instead of writing them how you would, you should be thinking about it from another pony’s perspective!
>Your chair topples over as you burst out of it and practically fly across the living room, aiming for the pile of donated books still held against the wall.
>The most powerful artifacts in the book you borrowed from Twilight were made by a few very specific ponies.
>If you could find some books on them, learn enough about them, then just maybe you could put yourself in their mindset and make something worthwhile.
>Let’s see. Not this one. Not this one either.
>Nope.
>You doubt Magic Missile for Dummies would be of any help here.

>>29212298

>Ah ha!
>My Mistakes, an autobiography by J.R.R. Ponykin, creator of the Self Propelled Wagon.
>City on a Hill, an autobiography by Quickwind Winthrop, creator of several small artifacts and the Never Ending Inkwell.
>Into the Fray, a biography on Blackmane XIV, creator of thirty seven different artifacts and writer of a whole class of runes.

>>29212305

>One month later.

>Your palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
>There’s no vomit on your sweater yet.
>There better fucking not be either. This is expensive fabric you had to gather specially for Rarity to make it with.
>Why on God’s green Earth you thought it would be a good idea to wear your good sweater out to the Everfree is beyond you.
>”Jump, you pussy!”
“Why did we come out here?!”
>”I wanted to play some hoofball, but you insisted on coming out here to find a book!”
“You should have talked me out of it!”
>”You threatened to kill me!”
“I say a lot of stupid shit!”
>Fucking hell.
>Staring at Greymane on the other side of what’s probably a thirty foot drop in the middle of a broken down piece of shit castle is not how you planned on spending your Sunday.
>”Jump! You’ve got nothing to lose!”
“Oh, that’s bullshit!”
>You clutch the wrapped up object in your arms closer to your chest.
>Within the tight gauze wrap is a small book that you deemed important enough to come all the way out here to get.
>Of course you weren’t stupid enough to come into the Everfree alone, so you talked Greymane into it as well.
>While he’s not the most skilled unicorn, he is probably the only one who would have come along with you.
>Alright, Anon. Let’s analyze the situation.
>You’re in the deep innards of what would have been Twilight’s castle had a crystal one made of hardened magic hadn’t popped out of the ground.
>The floor you’re standing on is about as stable as your relationship with your mother.
>There’s a good thirteen foot hole in the floor keeping you from reaching your partner in crime.
>How did you even get across this the first time?
>Oh, right. The floor was still there the first time.
“You just had to throw that rock, didn’t you?”
>”It needed to be done.”
“You’ve destroyed a piece of history.”
>”And you’re stealing one. Who’s going to tattle first?”
>Fucking smartass.

>>29212316

>Alright, alright, fine. Let’s do.
>Fucking jump.
>What other way is there?
>You back away from the hole about twenty feet, reentering the room in which you found this treasure.
>Breathe, Anon. You can do this.
>In three, two, one.
>Ok, that was a just a test.
>This is the the real one.
>In three, two, one and a half, one and a fourth, one.
>Any second now.
>Fuck, you waited too long and psyched yourself out.
>”Any day now!”
“I’m working on it!”
>You really don’t want to die today.
>Ok, fuck it. Run!
>You kick off the floor and break into a dead run.
>The distance between you and the gap closes in a second and you kick off the edge, soaring into the air.
>Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, you’ve made a terrible mistake.
>You’re going to fucking die.
>The hole, right underneath you, threatens to swallow you whole.
>Time slows down to a crawl.
>It’s as if it takes an eternity to move even one inch forward.
>Wind rushes through your beard, pulls on your clothes, and freezes the sweat on your face.
>No, it hasn’t frozen your sweat. The sweat has just gone cold.
>As you near the other side of the pit, you extend your legs to meet the solid floor.
>Come on, don’t miss.
>If you land this, you’ll totally go religious.

>>29212329

>Whamo!
>Your feet slam into the floor.
>In one motion, you throw all your weight forward and clear the pit totally.
>You crash into Greymane and topple him over.
>Ha! You did it!
>And all on your own too.
>The stallion squirms underneath you, griping about something or other.
>Fuck him.
>You roll off the pony and begin to kiss the floor despite the dirt and dust covering it.
>”Dude, that’s fucked.”
>Heavens above, you’ve never been so happy to be not dead before.
>”Alright, let’s get out of here now. You got your stupid book.”
“It’s not stupid.”
>”What is it anyway?”
>You get your feet under you and dust yourself off.
“I’m bored. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
>”Yeah, let’s.”
>You two move through the maze like castle and finally find your exit.
>He shivers as the frosty air meets his thin coat.
“Should have brought a jacket.”
>”I should have brought boots is what I should have done.”
>There’s snow covering the forest floor.
>It crunches underneath your feet and his hooves as you walk.
“Too little, too late.”
>”I didn’t have to come out here, you know.”
“I know, but you chose to.”
>”I’ll never know why.”
“Piss off. You had fun and you know it.”
>The path back to Ponyville is illuminated by what sun breaks through the dead trees above.
>Lucky for you, there are no monsters along the way either.
>Unlike on Earth where only some animals hibernated, in Equestria, every animal hibernates for the winter.
>Every animal except the obvious, of course.

>>29212341

>If there were any big bads to worry about, you’d have had to postpone this trip to a later date.
>You’re man enough to admit you got totally lucky with that manticore. Going up against another monster would be the end of you.
“Hey,” you spout, breaking the quiet between you two after a few minutes. “Have you been working on your telekinesis?”
>”Of course I have.”
“What can you move?”
>”I’ve leveled up to a pencil.”
“You’re the worst unicorn ever.”
>”Eat a dick.”
>Also the end of Greymane.
>”While we’re on the topic, the girls wanted me to ask you if you were free later.”
“What does that have to do with you being the most incompetent unicorn I’ve ever met?”
>”Are you free or not?”
“For what?”
>”I’m not supposed to tell you Applejack is hosting a little get-together for Hearthswarming.”
“You mean pony Christmas.”
>”No, I mean Hearthswarming.”
“Christmas.”
>”That’s not even a thing.”
>Your interest in this conversation is going down by the second.
>”So are you coming or do I tell them you have a cold again?”
>Well, it is Christmas. You shouldn’t be so distant.
>But then again, you haven’t talked to the girls in a while anyway. Does one more day really make a difference?
>”Hey, anyone home?”
“Whatever, I’ll come. What time?”
>”Seven sharp.”
>Seven thirty it is.

>>29212349

>It’s a half an hour walk back to Ponyville that’s filled with idle chat.
>When you reach the town border, you two begin to head your separate ways.
>Before he can make it too far, you call out to Greymane.
“So I’ll see you there?”
>”Unless you plan on visiting me earlier.”
“Why would I do that?”
>”To ask me on another stupid fucking adventure and try to get us killed again.”
“You make it sound like you don’t enjoy it when I do that.”
>”I could do without the weekly suicide missions.”
“We haven’t died yet.”
>”Yeah, ok. Bye.”
“Bye.”
>You head off to your own home just as it begins to snow.
>The flakes are light and fluffy and get stuck in your beard.
>Several ponies stop to wave hi to you, which you return out of politeness.
>The tone around here really has changed since that day.
>There was once a time where you would have considered that a good thing.
>Now, though, not at all.
>You’ll earn this though.
>One day, some time far down the road, you’ll earn their praise.
>Your cabin sits where it always does, right behind a row of trees on the edge of town.
>A shiver runs up your arm as you grab the icy doorknob and turn it, forcing the kinky thing open.
>Snow falls into your house, landing mostly on the welcome mat.
>You step inside and remove your boots, then head over to the fireplace, careful not to knock over any of the small piles of books along the way.
>There’s a very specific path you have to take.
>After loading up the fireplace with some seasoned logs, you light her up and sink back into your comfy red chair.
>There’s a cold cup of coffee sitting on a rather tall stack of books beside you.
>Should you leave that next to the fire to warm up?

>>29212353

>You lift the cup up to your mouth and take a hesitant sip.
>Eh, it’s alright.
>Tilting your head back, you take a generous gulp of the stuff and set it back down.
>Now to get to the good shit.
>You begin to undo the gauze covering your most recent asset.
>What’s revealed is a hefty, brown leather book with a beautiful painting on the front.
>You’re not an expert in ancient Equestrian, but from what you can manage to make out, it’s about exactly what you’re hoping for.
>You open it up to the first page and give it a blow, sending a wave of dust off into the air.
>It gets up in your nose and encourages a sneeze.
>No, they always come in threes.
>Three sneezes later, you’re wiping your nose on your sleeve and begin to read.
>Ah, wonderful.
>A memoir by Starswirl the Bearded on how he crafted his magical artifacts.
>This is just the kind of inspiration you needed.
>A look into the mind of one of the greatest sorcerers in Equestrian history should certainly help you to understand these damned things.

I'm honestly surprised someone went and made a new thread for this. It really brings a tear to my eye. Here's to all you late night dear readers.
For anyone who is new and wants to catch up on the story or anyone who has been following along and wants to relive the magic, here's a fully 100% super duper updated pastebin http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

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Gud update, man.

Really, this thread was made for your story. I don't agree with it being a general.

>>29213331
Keep it alive you fucks

Don't you die on me

>>29212377
still waiting for more.

>>29214451
Bruh it's 9 in the morning

>>29207734
>>29211373
>>29212178

I need more like this.

>>29214750
Cute Celestia or cute ponies?

>>29207734
> Anon tries to use some basic parlor tricks to convince the ponies he can do magic as well
> This includes a cheap trick where he covers an object with a piece of cloth and dramatically uncovers it to pretend it has vanished, when it's just hidden behind his back
> Trixie takes a liking to him and both decide to travel together as a magician duo, combining both of their skills into a single magic show
> They even take turns pulling from Trixie's wagon
> Their show is a success because no pony can understand the logic behind of Anon's painfully simple yet mindfucking parlor tricks
> Then during a visit to the Crystal Kingdom shit hits the fan
> All fans
> Chrysalis attacks the kingdom using an anti magic gizmo that render everyone defensless before her army
> Her plan is kidnapping Flurryheart and use her as an infinite source of love while she also corrupts her into becaming a tool of pony destruction
> The ultimate revenge against Cadence and ponykind, and there's nothing they can do since their magic has been blocked
> Suddenly Trixie and Anon sneak by and sweep Flurryheart away while Chrysalis is busy gloating
> They are quickly cornered and ordered to hand over the baby alicorn
> Then Anon rips Twixie's cape off and covers Flurryheart with it, claiming he will use his magic to send the filly to a safe place where Chrysalis will never find her
> Chrysalis laughs because all magic has been blocked, even the allmighty Alicorn magic. So what could a pitful monkey like Anon do?
>Anon does the fake vanishing trick and dramatically shows how Flurryheart has there no more
> Chrysalis is horrified and soon her entire army falls into pure panic
> "How...? How is this possible? Who are you...? WHAT are you...?
> The Changeling army runs away shitting itself in fear, dragging a nearly catathonic Chrysalis with them
> Anon's magic is beyond their comphrension and they don't want to fuck with an enemy they cannot read or predict
> Anon's bullshit saved everyone.

>>29212377
Nice update, thanks!

>>29216224
I'm going to go watch Willow now. Thanks anon.

>>29217375
I was about to nickname Anon as Madmartiganon but I thought it was going to be too much.

Glad you liked it, btw.

>>29214917
Cute confused ponies.

>>29218287
It was the final scene that gave it away.

>>29207734
>>29211373
>>29212178
>>29216224
I find this story very interesting because it shows the journey of a character we can all relate to on some level. In the beginning, Anon is most assuredly depressed that he is so alienated from the other ponies. To make up for this, he hides it behind a mask of humor. Obviously he would have never meant for the finger pull off trick to go anywhere, but it did. It got him respect. This new connection to the ponies filled him with confidence and gave him the will to perform for even the Princesses. Surely you've all felt that before. Success at something, even small, can fill us all with such pride that we think we can take on the world. Of course then you have to live with the results after, those being that you were never really good in the first place. Anon's actions led to the imprisonment of two ponies, likely filling him with great regret that eventually forced him to flee the cities with Trixie, fooling himself the whole way thinking it was his choice of adventure and not him running from his problems. From there on, it's a story of redemption. A man with a past as dark as Anon's using the tricks that destroyed his life to save the world. It's such a moving story, really.

>>29219263
Truly brings a tear to my eye.

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What is bump?

>>29216224
> Anon fakes some magic tricks to try fitting on pony society
> The ponies understand the tricks' pathetically easy nature but they refuse to accept their weird friends would be so stupid as to try passing them as real magic
> It doesn't help that Anon's weird body gives him a whole new array of blind spots to use on his parlor tricks, so the ponies actually never see how he's hiding stuff or revealing whatever he had already hidden under his sleeve, etc.
> Therefore, they all decide Anon's tricks are real magic and desperately try to understand the source of their absurdly simple magic power, without any sucess because there's no magic to understand in the first place.
> They all believe Anon can make coins appear out of nowhere and they immediately beg him to not use that spell anymore of he will destroy their economy by introducing too much money, money that isn't backuped by Canterlot's gold reserves.
> They are also terrified when he makes things appear from behind of their ears, what if he messes up the spell and they end with a pen or a coin embedded in their skulls?
> And how the heck is he able to use his simple spells without creating a visible aura or releasing energy they could detect?
> Anon could be behind of any random pony and use their magic without any way for them to know until it's too late!

Meanwhile, Anon has given up at trying to explain things to those overthinking ponies and is now just rolling with it.

>>29220769
> Anon is on the gemstone quarries, helping Rarity and Spike to dig out gems
> It's a fun thing to do, actually. Plus he gets to keep a few for himself and even if they don't have much monetary value, they look nice hanging from strings on Anon's porch.
> Suddenly, a group of vicious-looking Diamond Dogs appear and demand the surprised trio to hand over their entire gemstone haul.
> The biggest and meanest dog waves a huge, rusty axe around and growls, saying that unless they stay silient and collaborate, they will get some limbs chopped off.
> Anon does the "pull my finger off" trick and then the "got your nose" on himself (he uses his other hand to cover his face) to prove he's not afraid of the dog's threats.
> The dogs shit themselves in horror at this freaky guy who can tear off pieces of his own body and not care about it.
> Rarity faints, Spike barely stays on his feet and with a faint voice berates at anon for using that horrible magic spell even after everyone begged him to not use it anymore
> The dogs immediately run away in horror
> "A spell that rips pieces off of somebody's... body? We can't deal with something like that!"
> The day is saved and the gemhunting trio can go back to Ponyville unrobbed, but the tales of Anon's weird magic spells grow bigger and scarier after Rarity and Spike tell everyone how Anon saved them.

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>>29205410
I might not have magic, but I do have chemistry, which is pretty damn close.

Bemp

>>29221390
Isnt desyr paying money like that illegal?

>>29222439
Wow fuck me.
*Destroying money like that

>>29222483
Yes, technically, but I don't think that people will really care desu

Unless they're a judge, or a very strict Police Officer

>>29222773
>desu

I forgot about the stupid fuckin changes

>>29222778
Smh desu senpai

>>29220934
>Anon is sitting on a bench
> It's a nice, cozy day
> Cozier than usual thanks to the awesome cashmere vest Rarity made for him
> And nicer than usual thanks to this bomb-ass sandwich he just bought at Sugarcube Corner
> It's the best sandwich ever, Mrs. Cake really outdid herself this time
> While Anon keeps eating his sandwich, Twilight drops by and asks him if he can answer a few questions regarding his strange magic
> Then she raises an eyebrow and remindes Anon that his beautiful cashmere vest is getting full of breadcrumbs
> Anon quickly rubs his hands on it to sweep the crumbs away and prepares himself for another round of dumb questions he has already answered several times before
> "Okay, first of all, how can you summon magic energy without making it detectable and..."
> Twilight looks so serious that Anon can't help himself from trying to joke with her
> Boop her nose
> CRACK-ZAP! (Scared horse noises)
> Oh, right. Cashemere and rubbing = mild static electricity shock
> Twilight stares at Anon, amazed and then starts writing notes like crazy
> "Can summon elemental electricity energy at will, and still makes it undetectable"
> Turns out ponies don't know what static electricity is.
> With them always touching the ground barehooved and all that, their bodies never have a chance to store any static charge
> So the stories about Anon's weird magic abilities keep growing aven if he doesn't want to
> Ponies.

Boxed best birdpone bump, bitches

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>>29223648
Forgot the image, so now I've made myself look like more of a faggot

>>29222483
>>29222773
The money isn't actually burning, that's why is so cool to demonstrate.

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>>29220268
Baby don't sage me, don't sage me, no more.

>>29205427
Obviously fucking not if he's complaining in the first place.

Page 10 bump

>>29222782
Tbh

>>29212377
More coming sometime tonight.

>>29219263
>>29219475
Or...

Or, just hear me out...

Or, its just stupid horses.

>>29226711
What's wrong with analyzing greentext for deep meaning? English teachers look into shit all the time and find stuff that isnt there. Every once in a while they find an author that actually meant to put that stuff there and it's good.

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>>29226822

>>29226846
>In Great Expectations Dickens uses light to show a characters journey such as Magwitch starting out by hiding in the shadows and eventually ending as an old man sitting in a ray of light because he redeemed himself
>Other instances of light used this way
>English teachers also happen to teach this
>Farewell to Arms uses water to symbolise change and death and you can see this since every section ends with it raining (there were big changes) or every time an important character does it starts to rain
>English teachers teach this too
Sometimes it lines up

>>29224207
>that twilight in the back

>>29212377

>Apparently you need some kind of magic circle to place the objects in, but he doesn’t explicitly explain how to make the circle.
>Of course.
>You swear to God, being a cryptic shitlord was the standard hobby for ancient ponies.
>”You darn foals better get off my lawn before some mysterious fate that you may or may not enjoy befalls you at some undisclosed point in your lives!”
>Grumbling, you push through the page, looking for anything that might help you.
>It’s really just a lot of stuff you’ve pulled from some other sources already.
>The object has to be inscribed with the runes, a physical form of magic must be applied to it, there’s some chanting, bla bla bla.
>Where’s the fucking circle?
>Angrily, you flip the pages and graze each one.
>Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
>Why the fuck did you even go out to get this damned thing?
>You should have known it’d be nothing. Starswirl is famous for being cun--oh wait, there it is.
>He was kind enough to draw you a picture that’s only half smudged out.
>Well, you know, that’s not too bad. You can work with that.
>Maybe Starswirl wasn’t so bad afterall.

>>29228993

>So it looks to be a fairly thin circle. Actually, two circles--a big one and a little one containing some symbols within them.
>You can make out half of them, but the others are lost with the smudging.
>Where did you leave your pencil?
>Is it all the way over on your work table?
>Hell no, you’re not going all the way over there.
>There’s got to be a writing utensil nearby.
>You feel around you, digging your hand underneath the cushion, but find nothing.
>The immediate area around you also proves barren.
>Well shit.
>The next minute, you’re fumbling around your table, moving papers and scrolls to find a proper pencil or pen.
>Luckily, you happen across a sharpie.
>It’s not exactly the penman’s choice, but it will work.
>By the way, what an amazing coincidence that Equestria has sharpies too.
>Where were you?
>Ah, yes.
>You produce a blank sheet of paper and begin to copy the image as best you can, careful not to screw up the symbols.
>It looks alright.
>By that, you of course mean it’s utter trash.
>”Alright” is synonymous with gutter filth if you’re messing with something as crucial as magic symbols.
>Time to try it again.
>After scribbling out the bad version, you start on a new copy of the original picture.
>And then another, followed by another, then another, until you finally have something that looks exactly like the original picture because that’s exactly what it is.
>Nobody said you couldn’t trace.
>Now back to the book.
>Content with your current scribbles, you’re able to relax and read regularly.

>>29229003

>Without the pressing matter of the circle on your mind, there’s actually some good information in here.
>Starswirl explains how he learned to cope with his own magical power and how he came to find his purpose past his cutie mark.
>Funny, you think. The way Starswirl explains it all reminds you of your father.
>He would sit you down and tell you all about when “I was a boy, I had to walk three miles to school and they didn’t care if it was snowing or not.”
>Starswirl is very as-a-matter-of-fact when he isn’t talking about magic.
>The best way to explain it would be if Hemingway and Fitzgerald got together and wrote a book by each authoring one chapter at a time.
>It makes trying to pull the useful information out somewhat difficult but at least entertaining if that makes any sense.
>In one of the Fitzgerald sections, he goes into the making of the circle.
>It’s about what you would expect.
>Draw some circles in the dirt, put the symbols in, make sure they match this exact order.
>Wait just a second.
>You lean close to the page to make sure you’re not missing some word.
>”And so of all variations I have attempted, it is these last few that I do invest my dreams and form the complete the spell.”
>Jackpot.
>Mary mother of Christ, this is wonderful.
>Giggling like a schoolgirl, you slide back into your chair and stare at the ceiling.
>At last, you’ve finally done it. The secrets of spell binding are right within your hands, just ripe for the picking.
>No more struggling to find dead ends in stolen scrolls and pilfered tomes.
>No more adventuring out into the world on a thin lead hoping to tie the loose end.
>No more pencils, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks.
>Or something.
>No more sunlight either.
>It must be nighttime.
>Probably past seven.
>On Christmas.
>Oh fuck.

>>29229018

>You leap out of your chair and make a mad dash out the door.
>Jesus, Anon, open the damn thing first.
>You fumble with the knob, open up the front door, promptly lock it, and run off.
>Shit, forgot your jacket.
>You turn back and try to open up, only to find you’ve locked the door.
>Where are your keys?
>Oh, right, on your worktable.
>Well that’s just grand.
>An inner debate on whether you should break a window with a rock sparks up inside you, but you determine it’s better to do that after the party rather than to leave an open window while you’re gone.
>Sure it’s Ponyville but, fuck, you never know.
>It’s like your father always said.
>”Trust only in the fact that you can’t trust and you’ll be safe from everyone.”
>Words to selectively live by.
>A brisk wind sends a shiver down your spine, prompting you to get some blood pumping and head out.
>Over the hills and through the snow, to Applejack’s barn you go.
>You sure know the way, you went there one day.
>Was that the right left to take?
>Over the hills and through the snow, to the wrong side of town you go.
>Your shoes are now wet, some cider you’ll get, if to Applejack’s barn you head.
>Over the hills and through the snow, this is probably the right way to go.
>You’ve taken the turn, your lungs do now burn.
>Where are the damned street lights?
>Over the hills and through the snow, to Applejack’s barn you go.
>It’s there just in sight on this winter night.
>About fucking time, amirite?

>>29229025

>There’s only some light breaking through the windows, so at least you know there’s something going on in there.
>You trudge through the tundra, curing yourself for not grabbing your boots.
>There better be a fire in there you can dry off next to.
>Yeah, a fire in a barn full of hay.
>You’re just full of good ideas tonight, aren’t you?
>You raise your fist and bang on the door, overpowering what jolly tunes Pinkie has going on inside.
>It’s not too long before the massive door flies open, revealing Applejack herself.
>”Howdy there, Anon! C’mon in!”
“Nice to see you, AJ,” you oblige her.
>After closing the door behind you, she trots up and waves her hoof about, displaying the entirety of the barn to you.
>It actually looks a lot nicer than you remember it.
>The room is brightly lit, playing off the yellow hues of the hay pushed to the walls.
>From the ceiling hang little Christmas ornaments and streamers that totally aren’t Christmas but fucking are.
>In the center of the barn is a very long table that most of the guests surround if they’re not out dancing somewhere else.
>At least there’s not poop anywhere. You’ll give her that.
>”Here at Sweet Apple Acres, we go’in put all our eggs in a basket. Any job worth startin’s worth finishin’. Ain’t that raht, Big Mac?”
>”Eey--”
“Don’t even say it.”
>She leads you to the snack table decked out with apple treats from apple fritters to apple pies.
>You don’t think you’ve ever seen as many apple-themed foods in your life.
>”Now, ah don’ want you’ta get the wrong ahdeer here, but Anon, I’ll be right honest with ya. Ya look lahk a stiff wind’a knock you plum on your rear. Help yerself to the snacks, little feller. Ah’ll go whip up some more ifin you’re burnin’ through ‘em.”
>Did you just get the talk?
“Gee, thanks, Applejack.”

>>29229029

>”Ah’m just lookin’ out fer ya. Now c’mon, Anon! Let’s enjoy the party!”
>Woo hoo.
>You walk around the place and say your hello’s.
>Rarity is quite appalled at the shape your sweater is in.
>”Oh, darling, what have you been doing with yourself?”
“Man stuff. You wouldn’t get it.”
>”I should hope not! Such behavior only leads to the tarnish and ruination of good clothing. Oh, you simply must let me patch that up for you, deary.”
“It’s fine. Thank you, though.”
>”Oh no no no. I insist.”
>The warm item is pulled off your body by a blue magic haze.
>The barn is warmer than outside for sure, but you’re still not super keen to have lost a layer so crucial to your comfort.
>”I am the element of generosity, after all.”
“Oh, really? I would have thought that was all behind you once the elements were pulled into the earth to make Twilight’s castle.”
>”The thought is still there.”
“Well I appreciate the thought, but I’m fine.”
>Quickly, you snatch the sweater from her and put it back on.
>Good thing you did that when you did. Your nipples were already forming a revolt.
>Alright, who’s next?
>You eye the room and spot Rainbow Dash and Pinkie doing something in the corner.
>It looks like a dance, but whatever it is, you’re not the least bit interested in engaging in conversation with them.
>Who else?
>You could talk to Fluttershy.
>Or not.
>There’s also Big Mac.
>He seems like a pretty cool guy that you could talk to and get away from pretty quickly.
>Ha ha, good joke, Anon.
>Well what about Twilight?
>Hell fucking no.
>Greymane?
>You crane your neck and search around for him but fail to spot the stallion anywhere.
“You son of a bitch,” you mumble.
>Well, at least the snack table is inviting.

>>29229041

>You find shelter there and pick up one of the apple fritters.
>Your mouth waters as you bring it closer to your face.
>Oh, how the aroma wafts from it and flows into your nose, wrapping around your brain and filling your thoughts with apples.
>Apples.
>Applejack.
>”Help yerself, little feller,” she echos in your mind.
>A stiff wind. Yeah right.
>You set the treat down and cross your arms defiantly, refusing to eat if only to spite her.
>Why the hell did you come here? You barely like anyone and the only person you can tolerate is probably going to be a stumbling drunk whining about the holiday blues or something.
>Oh wait, you remember. You were lied to.
>”Hey, Anon.”
“Oh God dammit.”
>”Wassup?”
>You sigh and try to ignore the purple pony princess mere inches from you.
>She leans close, her breath overpowering the delectable apple treats as it assaults your senses.
>Well, assault is a strong word. It doesn’t actually smell that bad itself, it’s just the context of the smell throws you off.
>”Hey, hey, Anon.”
“Hi, Twilight.”
>”So what’s up? It’s been a week, you know.”
“Yeah.”
>”You know, a girl might get the wrong idea if you ignore her. You know.”
“I’m not ignoring you per say. I’ve just been preoccupied.”
>”Too preoccu--” her voice trails off.
>She stares into the distance, like something far more important is happening a thousand yards away.
>Before her eyes develop a film, she seems to snap back to reality.
>”To preoccupied for friends?”
“Are you ok?”
>”I’m fine,” she says. “I’m so amazing that I don’t even remember being locked in my room on Hearthswarming as a filly.”
“Ok, bye.”
>”No, wait, I think I messed up. That’s the wrong line.”

>>29229050

>You’ll have to strangle Applejack for letting Twilight near the special cider.
>She gets tipsy on the fucking dandelion water these ponies call beer, let alone the real deal hard shit like from back home.
>Someone has to help you.
>You look around the room for assistance.
>Rarity and Applejack are arguing about something.
>Big Mac is still over there being Big Mac. You don’t know what horrifying images are running through his mind but you shudder to imagine holding a conversation with anyone whose face looks like that.
>That leaves you with three options and you’re almost fifty percent sure two of them are actually having sex.
“Fluttershy!”
>The pegasus looks over, wide eyed from your shout.
“Come here!”
>”No, Anon, we’re going to settle this right now. Friend to friend. Man to mare. Mono e mona. Mana. Something with an M.”
>Fluttershy skimpers over and mumbles something that you assume was some form of “hello”.
“Fluttershy, Twilight here was just telling me about animal experimentation and how it’s a viable field of science.”
>”Twilight!”
>”That’s not what I was talking about!”
“But it’s true, right?”
>”I mean, well, of course. Something has to be tested before ponies, right?”
>”Twilight, that’s awful!”
“Yeah, you tell her.”
>And time to escape.
>Flawless, Anon.
>Well this was a bust.
>You’re tempted to just go home right now.
>At least there you can be cold in private.

That's all I have for now. I'll be back with more soon. I don't mean soon as in tonight, of course. I mean like...soon. The usual. Anyway, we're past the 70 page point now as far as my word program is concerned. I knew we'd make it past 10 for these couple of paragraphs.

>>29229079
awesome

bemp

>>29229079
Nice update, loving the story so far

bamp

>>29229079
Smooth.

Bimp

>>29231667
There are more words in the English language than bump

>>29231821
Bounce.

>>29231821
thingamajig

Since Sea Urchin is away, I thought I'd try making my own green.

>"It's ok if you can't do magic, Anon," Twilight tells you.
>She smiles, as do all the other rainbow colored ponies behind her.
>"You are just a human after all. Nobody expects anything like that out of you."
>Of course. It always comes down to this, doesn't it?
>"Just leave the hero work to us. We'll bring you back a souvenir."

>You grin and wish the girls good luck on their adventure
>God damn it, this is pathetic
>Your face swaps to a grimace as you turn around
>Being protected by a couple of pastel horses, what a load of bullshit
>You walk to the Twilight's Castle, you told her you'd read for the rest of the day
>Because what else can a human like you do?
>She's been acting like a fucking babysitter to you since you got to this world
>All because ponies are blessed with magic and humans aren't
>It's like a secondary life force for them
>And it manifests itself in different ways, all very obvious
>Unicorns can use it to exert their will upon the world around them
>Earth ponies use it for feats of great strength and stamina
>Pegasi use it to manipulate clouds and other weather phenomenon as well as carry themselves on the winds
>It turns out, humans were not unheard of in Equestria
>They were discovered around when ponies developed written history, although they were quickly wiped out due to a small population, the Great Unicorn War, and the harsh winters of Equestria
>You had read some legends though, of Sun Wukong, the king of the humans
>They say that he hid away from the his kingdom when it fell, taking a rare and powerful artifact with him
>He had crafted it by enslaving hundreds of unicorns, and that no pony, diamond dog, or griffon could ever hope to operate it
>You open the door to your room in the castle, which you had only because you were technically the human ambassador, which is just Twilight's way of showing you pity in your opinion

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>>29229079
Good update!
>>29232379
Interesting start, keep going.

Remember: even Alicorn magic can fail you, especially when you need it.

>>29232379
>It's been weeks since you formulated this plan
>You're going to find the abandoned kingdom of the humans, grab that artifact, and...
>Well, you haven't really thought about what you'll do once you have the artifact
>You don't even know what it is
>It could just be an apple that regenerates as far as you know
>Even if it's not something that lets you shoot lasers out of your eyes, it'll still show everybody you're not as frail as they think!
>You grab the backpack filled with all the stuff you'd need for your journey
>Trail food, canned food, a Minotaur style can opener...
>You had to buy a lot of things made for minotaurs and get them altered
>Regardless, you also had a magic torch, a lighter, and everything you'd need for your standard camp
>Along with Ol' Faithful, the best woodcutting ax on Sweet Apple Acres
>And by that, you mean the only one
>Back when Granny Smith was young, they had a strapping young minotaur working for them
>Her words, not yours
>He cleared the entire field, she was transfixed by his sweaty, bulky body
>And then they went to bed in seperate rooms and Granny Smith waited until marriage like a good filly does
>She blurted out that ending when Applebloom walked in the room
>Either way, you didn't like the idea of Granny Smith getting some minota-
>Derailing that train of thought manually, you haul your backpack onto your back and leave the room
>You pull out a map and a compass, and leave Ponyville

>This was an awful idea
>Why did you decide to take the Everfree Forest as a shortcut again?
>Oh yeah, because you're lazy and stupid
>You dodge the living root that snatches at your left leg
>Jumping into a poorly executed roll, you manage to avoid the timberwolf that has been chasing you for the last 5 minutes
>Sitting on your ass, you rub your head softly as the timberwolf stares you straight in the eyes
>It pounces towards you, jaws open, and you barely manage to catch it's jaws with your hands

>>29229041
I thought the elements here meant all the periodic table and thought that Twilight's castle was a haphazard conglomerate of every element on the periodic table.

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>>29233602
I dig where you're going with this, mate

do the bump

>>29233602
This story has two good writefriends now, we have been blessed!

Thread, it's like 1 in the morning. Why are you hanging out on page 9?

>>29233602
Write faster, slave.

PAGE NINE IS NOT FINE
Also anon needs to succeed and get a good end.

>>29229079
I don't know what to make of it anymore. Anon acts more and more like a resentful bitchy teenager, really.

>>29237314
He's just having an episode.

>>29237314
Obsession is not a sign of a healthy mind
He is literally going insane if he isn't already

>>29238218
Yes, I think it's even more accurate.

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Bump out of fucking nowhere

>>29233602
>You begin screaming as the timberwolf fights to rip into you
>Your adrenaline kicks in even harder than before, giving you retard-like strength
>You grit your teeth, still screaming through them, as you exert force on the creatures jaws
>Pushing in opposite directions, you manage to separate the creatures head in two
>The action and the blood loss leave you tired, and you flop backwards, timberwolf tooth still impaling your hand
>Time to rest for a couple minutes
>You pull the bits of wood out of your hand carefully, pulling out some gauze and anti-septic from your backpack
>Even though ponies may be backwards in some ways, they've at least got proper medical supplies
>After collecting the supplies that fell out of your backpack during the run, you continue through the forest
>Several days later you arrive at a settlement on the edge of the Everfree
>You had massively underestimated how long it would take you to go through there
>You thought your natural human toughness could help you face magical creatures
>Turns out natural human toughness doesn't mean shit to magically imbued monsters
>Go figure
>A sign at the entrance of the town reads "Hoovesdale - In Development"
>Currently it just looks like a way smaller Ponyville, except with darker wood for the buildings
>You guess they used wood from the Everfree for the town
>You couldn't even dent those trees with your axe
>You had to rely on fallen twigs and branches to start your fires
>Thank god the area's climate isn't too humid to have dry branches
>You enter the town, earning stares from construction workers and townspeople
>A sign reading "General's Store" signals where you need to head
>You pull out a sack of bits, your "allowance" from Twilight saved up over weeks
>Basically just your welfare
>At first you refused to be a government leech, but once you figured out your expedition wouldn't get any funding due to some significant hiring bias in Ponyville, you had basically no choice

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>>29205410
>no pastebins in OP
If you have a pastebin, then reply to this post and next time it will be added to the OP message.

Or make a pastebin. Pls. It's a shame when greens disappear.

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>>29238793
That momenth when you re doing something important but memes call upon you

>>29239443
Writefag here, here's my pastebin

http://pastebin.com/RCnBBA90

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>>29209900
>I personally try to put a lot of meat in my stories so people can have fun discussing, predicting, or analyzing. Nobody ever does though.
To be perfectly honest, I visit threads like this to read this sort of greens: >>29207734 >>29211373

Walls of text can be off-putting.

Have you done any experiments with length of your greens to see what kind of greens are most (you)-inducing?

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>>29239696
I actually preefer green walls than the prompts, much better see something enroll than just an idea on my face

Theres many kinds of anons out there fąm, not just (You)

>>29240186
Long stories are often ignored, while short ones get dozens of replies. It looks like you're a minority.

Besides do you remember how glorious flutterrape started?
With short one shots.

Let's make /mlp/ great again.

>>29240523
The replies are usually telling the writefag to write more. The longer ones get less (you)s per post, but less of those are people bitching that you didn't write enough.

>>29240523
>Dozens of replies for dozens of shorts = lots of attention, not like there s another dozen getting literaly zero (0) replies
>Few replies for ongoing = little atention, there s no such thing as lurkers right? What about all the replies and praise when said few get done then?
Do explain to me the 'Hunter Anon' general then if we re so few, it s literally a single writefag from pretty much the beginning and the green is fucking huge by now, its pretty much a bump general whenever it comes around waiting for more by the writer

Ps: i do agree that the writefag should make the thread when there s more instead, but the anons simply dont let it sage with bumps

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>>29239115
Here s your answer btw, now gimme moar, dont you dare stop

>>29229079
I like it!
Also, let up on Applejack's accent. It's like trying to read runes

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>>29232379
>Sun Wukong
>rare and powerful artifact

>>29239696
I hace tried all lengths. Small posts only a few lines long, a single post, several posts, medium length, and book length. I prefer book.

>>29239115
Yes. Go on phaggot.

>>29240523
Long stories gain more interest. People become engrossed in them and want more. Short stories may be interesting as well, but they just end quickly and there's nothing making people reply, even if to only ask for "moar". So, many readers don't even reply, and the writer simply thinks it was shit.

>>29239115
Will read this when I have a minute

>>29232379
The history of humans in this green triggers me.

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>hand no magic

Why use magic when you can use a gun which is arguably more better at killing

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This is a repost we must all down vote it

>>29241872
What's wrong with it?
>>29239115
>Walking around the store for a bit, you restock your supplies and grab a few extra things you never would have thought to bring before
>Who would have guessed you'd need a towel so many times?
>Bringing your purchases to the counter, you're greeted with a pony who looks almost comically like a war veteran turned pony
>Eyepatch, scratchy beard, missing limb
>The whole nine yards
>"Well, never thought I'd get to see a mystical beast walk into my shop and start perusing"
>You give him a sly grin
"And I never thought I'd end up in a land of talking horses, but hey, here we are."
>His eyes widen for a second before he bursts out into laughter
>"I like you monkey, what's an ape like you doing in a place like this? The town's not set to have a proper population for the next couple of months."
"This shit-flinger actually, is on a quest. To find the old human kingdom."
>The old pony suddenly took on a more serious tone
>"Listen kid, whatever ideas you have, I suggest you drop them. I don't know how another human got into Equestria, and why he's missing his tail, but apparently his brains went with it. The old human kingdom has become overrun by jungle, something the last king did when he died."
"Wait, missing a what-"
>"That jungle sucks the magic out of other living things to survive."
"Oh well that's not so bad, I don't have any magic in my body."
>"Bullshit."
"Nope! Tested by the Princess of Friendship herself. Thanks for the hints though, those old stories I read only gave me some stupid vague riddles about where to go."
>The horse chuckles
>"Thought those monkeys weren't supposed to be tenacious at all."
>As you leave the store, some questions come to mind
>What did he mean by missing a tail?
>And considering how you know humans to be, it seems implausible that apex predators would get beaten by horses with magic
>Especially considering magic has no effect on you

>>29242056
You haven't necessarily done anything wrong. I just personally don't like the idea that humans got their asses kicked by unicorns and went to go die alone in the cold. I feel like we'd do a lot better than that

>>29242056
>Twilight's attempts to teleport or levitate you always failed, due to you not having magic to sync up with her spells
>The more you think about the so-called history of humans, the less it makes sense
>Looks like apart for searching for some artifacts, you've got another objective

>It's been two weeks since you've left Hoovesdale
>You've been hopping from small town to small town, making your way south to the Jungle of Despair
>And you've finally made it
>In the plains before the jungle, you've been finding strange things buried in the ground
>Charred wooden planks, pieces of pottery
>It's like someone razed a village to the ground or something
>Seeking the last flat land you could find before the jungle, you set up camp for the night
>After a couple hours of rest you awoke
"What the hell?"
>A strange blue glow came from the direction of the jungle
>You opened your tent, rubbing your eyes
>Every bone in your body was telling you that this was an awful idea
>And yet you're doing it anyway
>God damn it Anon
>You grab your backpack and head into the jungle
>Flowers blooming in the moonlight lead you down a path
>They open and expose their glowing innards as you step near them
>After an hour of walking, you're face to face with what could be your goal
>Flowers cover the ancient temple
>They glow an iridescent blue, welcoming your arrival
>From the glow of the flowers, you can make out that the temple's in the shape of a monkey's head
>Entering the maw of the monkey, you follow the strange flowers further down
>Once you enter the temple, the first thing you notice is the lack of guiding flowers
"Looks like I don't get any help for this one eh?"
>Great, you're talking to yourself now
>You pull out the magic torch and light it with your lighter
>The torch glows purple, a stark change from the neon blue lighting from the entrance
>Murals and runes inhabit the walls
>You take a moment to look at them
>They all feature humans
>None of them have tails however

>>29242166
fake humans with tails

>>29242166
>tfw you will never lead humanity into the frozen north and wage war on the world because your ex wife had your best friend killed at a peace conference by your allies

>>29242176
>This is getting weirder and weirder by the minute
>As you head deeper and deeper into the depths of the temple, the murals get stranger
>Ponies' backs being crushed by humans riding them, with humans laughing at them
>This one was particularly interesting however
>A mass of unicorns on one side, lead by two alicorns
>One white as snow, and the other deep blue
>And a writhing mass of humans, with one standing standing above them
>A human, clad in light golden armor, with golden hair, and a tail to match
>Atop his head a red and gold circlet
>Sun Wukong
>With renewed vigor you speed through the murals
>The unicorn army defeated
>Ponies enslaved yet again
>And then the murals suddenly end
>The last one half finished
>Are you missing something?
>This is probably where their history ends
>But none of this matches up with what you read
>That would mean someone is lying here
>You're going to get to the bottom of this
>The floor flattens out and you're face to face with the entrance to a chamber
>It's circular, and in the middle lies a chest
>The chest is decorated similarly to the rest of the room, circular swirls of solid gold and red wood
>You open the chest carefully, but dust explodes out of it regardless
>After coughing and waving away the dust, you're left with the contents of the box
>Several books, a familiar looking circlet, and a stick in the same design as the circlet
>You pick up the circlet, rubbing the dust off of the gold with care
>Staring at the circlet intently, you decide there's only one course of action
>You put it on
>Searing pain flares through your forehead, and it feels like someone in smashing your tailbone with a hammer
>You scream out in pain as every single hair on your head ignites in pain
>The pain overwhelms you, and you lose consciousness

>>29231821
Boop

>>29242384
>"Hey Twilight, up late again?"
"Huh? Yeah Spike, I was just reading this book again for citations for my claims on why I think it's poorly written, due to the fact the author has to switch characters to show stuff the main character wouldn't know otherwise."
>"That's neat and all, but have you heard anything from Anon yet? It's been almost a month now..."
"Come on Spike, how much trouble could he have gotten into? He doesn't have a spark of magic in him."
>Spikes face contorts as he burps out a puff of green flame and a scroll with it
>You open the scroll
>"We found him."

>You are Anonymous
>Were you ever anyone else?
>"Well I should hope not."
"What the fuck was that?"
>"Right here big shot."
>You sit up and are face to face with a floating golden monkey
"What the fuck are you."
>"You shall not speak to the former king of humans like that!"
>What the hell is this
"Last time I checked, Sun Wukong wasn't a floating golden monkey."
>"Hey, I didn't think I'd end up like this either when I bound my soul to my circlet either. In fact, you can see me and the unicorn who I had do this right over there"
>He points to the other side of the room, where a human and pony skeleton lay
"Okay then. So why exactly did you do this?"
>"Well, when a slave revolt burns your entire food supply right before the harshest winter you've ever experienced and all your scholars are the first to die, you come up with some pretty crazy ideas on how to make sure your race's legacy lives on."
"Point taken."
>"And you're part two of that legacy apparently. I'm pretty glad I didn't go with the plan where I destroyed this thing."
>You nod softly, agreeing with him
>Grabbing the chest, you leave the temple, ghost king in tow
>It seems like morning had come while you were passed out
>You pack up your camp, and take one more look inside the chest
"So what's with this stick anyway?"
>You pick it up, inspecting the object

Thoughts?

>>29242507
nice so far

I've got stuff to do tomorrow, so I'll have to end here for the night.

Updated pastebin.

http://pastebin.com/RCnBBA90

>>29242507
I always like when we get to explore equestria's history, even if far fetched. I just like to think that there was more going on than 2 sisters being in the spotlight forever ye know?

>>29242507
I fucking love it actually, it's always fun for the main character to have a voice in Thier head, it allows for a sympathetic perspective that isn't necessarily kind.

>>29242507
Keep going fucker I'm losing my story boner

>>29242507
Is he gonna have true strike and mini bash?

>>29229079

Is Anon being a dick for fun or because he's going insane? Good story btw.

>>29242507
I'm hungry

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>>29244042

>>29242507
>Shut up, Clarissa. You got raped to death for a reason.

>>29229079

>You’ll have to strangle Applejack for letting Twilight near the special cider.
>She gets tipsy on the fucking dandelion water these ponies call beer, let alone the real deal hard shit like from back home.
>Someone has to help you.
>You look around the room for assistance.
>Rarity and Applejack are arguing about something.
>Big Mac is still over there being Big Mac. You don’t know what horrifying images are running through his mind but you shudder to imagine holding a conversation with anyone whose face looks like that.
>That leaves you with three options and you’re almost fifty percent sure two of them are actually having sex.
“Fluttershy!”
>The pegasus looks over, wide eyed from your shout.
“Come here!”
>”No, Anon, we’re going to settle this right now. Friend to friend. Man to mare. Mono e mona. Mana. Something with an M.”
>Fluttershy skimpers over and mumbles something that you assume was some form of “hello”.
“Fluttershy, Twilight here was just telling me about animal experimentation and how it’s a viable field of science.”
>”Twilight!”
>”That’s not what I was talking about!”
“But it’s true, right?”
>”I mean, well, of course. Something has to be tested before ponies, right?”
>”Twilight, that’s awful!”
“Yeah, you tell her.”
>And time to escape.
>Flawless, Anon.
>Well this was a bust.
>You’re tempted to just go home right now.
>At least there you can be cold in private.

>>29244961

>”Fluttershy, let’s be real.”
>”How could you ever condone the testing of innocent little animals?”
>”Well would you prefer some random drug be given to a pony without knowing what it does?”
>”Of course we’ll know what it does. We made it, didn’t we?”
>”That’s not how that works. Anon, come back. Anon, please. Help.”
>Alright, maybe you were a little hard on her.
>You turn back and eye the ponies carefully.
>Should you?
>Just then, Twilight’s rosy cheeks turn a sickly green and she runs to the far wall to empty her stomach.
>Yeah, nah. You made the right choice.
>Hey, wouldn’t it be neat if there were a spell that could make people sober?
>What would a spell like that even look like?
>Alcohol would in there. Maybe it’s just alcohol disappear?
>Or perhaps disappear alcohol.
>No, no, cleanse blood. That would get rid of the alcohol and probably cure AIDS.
>”Anon, I’m sorry about that.”
>Where can you write this stuff down?
>There has to be a pencil around here.
>”Hey, I’m better now.”
>Something starts tugging on your sweater.
>You whip around to see Twilight Drunkle feebly trying to steady herself on her hooves.
“What do you want?”
>”I want to talk with you. You know, like friends do. We’re such good friends, aren’t we?”
“I’m busy.”
>You pull away from her long enough to remember that you’re not busy quite yet and need to remedy that.
“Hey, do you have a pencil?”
>”I have a quill.”
“Give it to me.”
>”What’s that magic word?”
“Flectere mentis.”
>”When did you learn ancient Equestrian?”
“Give me the fucking quill.”
>Her face scrunches up in sync with the glowing of her horn.
>You can see a matching light across the barn drift towards you.
>A small brown leather bag with Twilight’s cutie mark plastered on the front drops into your arms.
>Opening it, you fervently search for a quill, inkwell, and even a piece of paper while you’re at it.

>>29244965

“Eureka!”
>”What?”
“That’s human for fuck off.”
>You pull the needed items out of the bag and toss it back at her.
>It smacks her in the face and falls flatly on the floor.
>After about a second, she responds to the stimulus and wraps it in a lavender aura.
>”Oh.”
“Think fast,” you scoff and find an empty corner of the barn to sit down in.
>You begin to jot down a few ideas, but promptly scribble them out as they’re things that you came up with on your own.
>Remember, Anon. You can’t do any of this from your perspective. You already failed at that.
>Someone experienced has to write these spells.
>Someone with real power.
>Yes, like him.
>You’ve read enough about him to put yourself into his mindset.
>The guy even left behind a whole alphabet of runes you can use too.
>The next you don’t know how many minutes are spent in great annoyance.
>Extraneous noise from the party keeps breaking your concentration.
>At one point, an apple cupcake gets thrown at you.
>A really tasty looking one too, but you’re still mad at Applejack so you throw it away.
>”Now that ain’t mighty neighborly of ya.”
>Oh fuck.
>You look up from your paper to see Applejack standing right before you.
>”An’ here ah was thinkin’ yew could use some company.”
“Can you get out of my light?”
>”Anon, ah don’t know what in Sam Hill has gotten into yew, but ah sure ain’t to keen on it. Now ahm gonna give yew some options here ‘cause ah think a friend should at least have that much.”
>Option one. Villam incenderant.
>”Yew can come an’ join the party ‘a yer own accord, an ifin you don’t, ah’ll just haft’a drag yew over.”
“Don’t touch me, you filthy casual.”
>”Alraht, yew asked fer it.”
>She steps forward and wraps a leg around you.

>>29244973

>Is this the real life? Or is this fantasy?
>Caught in a leg lock. No escape from Applejack.
>Open your eyes, look up at the ceiling and see.
>You’re just a human being dragged away.
>But you’re not easy come, easy go.
>You struggle against her strength.

>Is this what she thinks friendship is? Forceful cooperation?
>This kind of shit would wind someone up in jail on Earth.
>”Now ah know yer afraid, but if yew just siddown and try ‘ta enjoy yerself, you’ll have a swell time!”
“I don’t want to have a swell time! I want you to leave me alone!”
>Fucking Earth pony strength.
>Even with all your muscles pushing at full force, you can’t so much as budge her.
>This is wrong on so many levels. This isn’t what friends do. This isn’t friendship.
>Most of all, it’s a waste of your goddamn time.
>You never should have come here.
>”Applejack, darling, why do you have your leg wrapped around Anon’s neck?”
>”It’s what we here on Sweet Apple Acres call ‘encouraged cooperation’.”
“It’s what I call physical assault!”
>She lets go of you finally.
>Of course you’re right in the middle of the barn at this point.
>Everyone is staring at you, even Big Mac.
>”Now that everyone’s accounted fer, let’s hoe down!”
>Rainbow Dash saunters over and punches your hip.
>She gives you a wry smile and laughs.
>”Hey, you looked like you were having trouble back there. Maybe you should come work out with me sometime.”
>Her wings begin to beat, lifting her up off the ground to about your chest height.
>”You’ve been looking a little deflated lately.”
>She prods your bicep with her hoof to emphasize the point.

>>29244980

>Alright, you’ve had just about enough of this.
>No Greymane, an annoying Twilight, clingy “friends”, you can’t even enjoy the food, and most of all, there’s a nice little fire back home you could be reading next to instead of freezing your apparently deflated tits off surrounded by hillbillies and the pastel saviours.
>You march over to Twilight and slam your paper down over her horn, sticking it there.
>She jerks up from the seated position she was falling asleep in and looks around with wide eyes.
>”I’m a good filly! Huh? Oh, hi, Anon.”
“Third spell from the bottom. Cast it on yourself.”
>With that, you storm out, ignoring the calls of the mares behind you.
>The brisk air tightens your lips and burns your ears as you push on through the snow.

Shhh. Don't tell anyone I'm posting this early. I have a reputation to uphold.

>>29244992
>angsty anon intensifies

Boop

>>29244992
>Casting a probably wrong written spell when drunk.
Don't do it Twilight.

>>29239443
Here's the pastebin for Sea Urchins story
http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

>>29242322
Heh, I get that reference.

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>>29244973
>"Don't touch me, you filthy casual."

Hit that bump man!

>>29206469
So you're sayig renaming a premise helps?
Why not

Bemp

>>29244992
Oh shit I didn't expect an update this week.
Awesome!

>>29248272
What do you mean? Updates have come faithfully every other day

>>29246447
Nah she'll be fine

Poob

>it started with just some light reading
>then it turned into dedicated reading
>then it became a focal point of his personal view of himself
>then he stole to further his hobby
>locked himself away for a week
>still connected to friends but becoming more distant
>now neglecting his personal well being and duties
>can't function properly in groups
>mind only revolves around magic
The decline of Anon's mental state has been really gradual.

>>29251999
WITNESSED

>>29252668
No

So, how would you feel with a story which may be flawed when it comes to the grammar? Same as most people in, let's say AiE?

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>>29207734

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>>29209900
>I personally try to put a lot of meat in my stories so people can have fun discussing, predicting, or analyzing. Nobody ever does though.

>tfw in my general there's at least one anon who's making predictions
>tfw he's started to latch onto even the minor details I throw in

It's such a nice feeling.

>>29252920
Which thread?

>>29252920
It seems like there's an increasing number of Anons who are actually trying to do more than just write green. Maybe there's more stories that are worth looking into than we think.

>>29205410
>Anon idn't actually amagical
>humans just need another way to wield the arcane forces
>the unicorns "cheat" by having horns

>>29252865
It depends. I would surely overlook some mistakes, unlike a native speaker, but the more glaring ones would still bother me somehow. They would have to be so bad as to hinder the general readability though.

>>29254584
"I could care less" triggers me greatly. I don't care who is saying it, it's one of the best ways to make me think you're a drooling idiot who should go back to English class.

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>>29254711
grammer is overrayted

>>29244973
"that's human for fuck off"
my sides are in the orbit
these last post have been the best in months
loved especially the Latin touch and the Bohemian reference

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It looks like y'all got some writefags on board, but this survives while Talking Shoe gets pruned?

>>29255753
Looks like shoe only had one writefag, we have two. Obviously this makes us the superior thread.

kamen rider wizard in equestria

>>29244992

>Only dim moonlight helps you make it through the darkness surrounding you.
>No matter. You know the way home after having to reroute yourself on the way here.
>You take a left at the big oak tree, then a right at the pond.
>After that, it’s just following this trail you’ve never seen before.
>No, wait, it was a right at the big oak tree.
>Oh shit, where are you now?
>Alright, let’s backtrack this.
>Arriving at the pond in question, you scan the area for where you came out.
>Shit. All the snow and trees make everything look the same.
>You can’t even follow your own tracks back since they’ve all been refilled with the snow that started to come down when you left.
“Alright, let’s think this through. When you got to the pond, there was a big snow drift leaning out over the ice. Where is it now?”
>A quick search reveals the location of the spot.
>Oh, wait, there’s another one.
>And another one.
>Oh boy.
>Great. Real nice, Anon. You went and got yourself lost.
>Rainbow Dash wouldn’t get herself lost. She’d just fly above the trees.
>Twilight could cast some spell that would show the path she took.
>Even Fluttershy could wake some animals up and talk to them.
>You could use an animal friend about now.
>A big one that could take a punch so you could fucking maul it and it’d be fine.
>Or hell, maybe it wouldn’t be fine. You could go for anything right now.
>Pick one, dumbass. Any path is better than standing around and freezing your nuts off.
>You decide to go for the one closest to you and head towards it.
>Now, when you came down, it was dead into the snowdrift before you took the right.
>So that means you should head directly backwards.
>If you don’t hit a familiar looking oak tree eventually, that’s your hint it was the wrong path.

>>29256161

>Starting on your way, you wrap your arms tightly around yourself as a powerful shiver runs through you.
>Damn, you really should have brought a jacket.
>Boots would have been nice too, but on the bright side, so much snow has melted into your shoes that you don’t even mind the sloshy wet feeling every time you take a step anymore.
>There’s probably a spell out there that specifically functions to keep snow out of someone’s shoes.
>Yeah, that would be cool.
>Imagine how warm you would be casting that spell.
>How would it work?
>It could be a forcefield that protects your shoes from the snow.
>Wouldn’t that just be a miniature, centralized version of Twilight’s aurum barrier?
>Maybe her spell could be converted like that.
>That could actually have some other practical uses.
>Equestria hasn’t invented laminated paper yet. Maybe you could give it the next best thing.
>Wouldn’t that be a legacy?
>Anonymous, creator of a spell that sort of laminates paper for a while.
>Dad would be so proud.
>Well, you’ve been walking now for about five minutes and none of this area is looking familiar.
“Fuck me,” you mutter and turn back, careful to do a true 180 instead of accidentally aiming yourself a few degrees off and missing the pond as a result.
>Once you’re sure it’s the right direction, you walk back to the starting point and come back to not only the pond, but exact snowdrift you left from.
>Stellar.
>Alright, time for the next one, you guess.
>There’s another icy pillow just thirty feet to your left.
>Setting that as your next starting point, you head off into the forest once more.
>Jesus, even if you can’t find the big oak tree, something has to look familiar soon.
>How many walks have you taken around Ponyville and the Everfree? How have you stumbled upon the one goddamn area you’ve never seen before?
>The odds of that are astronomically low.

>>29256166

>Maybe you just have bad luck.
>Maybe luck is tied to magic.
>Maybe your luck is bad because you have no magic.
>Once again, we come back to the root of your problems.

>Worse still, there’s some horrific scent plaguing your nose like bad compost.
>You have to force yourself to focus on the task at hand.
>Keeping an eye on the landscape is more important than picturing yourself with magic.
>Once you find that oak tree, you can make your way back home and then spend all the time you want pissing around.
>Although the thought of you with magic is pretty cool.
>You would make a great wizard, wouldn’t you?
>Rarity could make you robes and everything.
>No, no, you could make robes.
>There’s a whole set of spells you read about once that ancient seamstresses used to use to craft enormous amounts of clothes before clothing went back out of fashion.
>Actually, robes are kind of gay.
>A cloak is definitely cooler. Yeah, a cloaked wizard. That would be amazing.
>Well, too bad it’s all in your imagination.
>Being human, there’s absolutely no way that someone as utterly talentless at magic as you could ever oh holy trinity you forgot to look for the tree.
>No no no no no no.
>You whip around, looking at the surrounding area, hoping to spot anything that rings a bell.
>No, nothing!
“Fuck,” you shout into the darkness.
>How long were you walking?
>Was it two minutes? Five? Ten?
>Oh man, you really screwed the pooch this time.
>You have to go all the way back to the pond now.
>All the way back to the pond.
>You know, in the other direction.
>So, that way.
>Um, no, wait, it’s that way.
>Exactly which “other direction” are you talking about?
>You spin in place taking in the whole scene as the weight of the situation settles on your shoulders.
>You begin to warm up as your heart thumps in your chest.
>Soon, all you can hear is your breath quickening.

>>29256172

>That is, until one singular sound silences the whole world and echoes in your mind, pushing everything else but it into a dark little corner.
>The sound of a twig cracking.
>Slowly, carefully, your eyes lower to the ground to examine your positioning.
>You’re in the middle of some thrown up snow from your movement, but that’s it.
>No branches.

>You swallow hard and raise your eyes back up to search the trees.
>Your head cranes on your neck as you do your best with what little light you have.
>There, you see something!
>Oh, it’s just a tree.
>That’s what made the sound, right?
>Yeah, a tree branch in the same wind carrying this atrocious smell.
>No, it was a delicate branch that couldn’t handle the weight of the snow on it.
>That’s what made the sound.
>Right?
>You’ve made a huge mistake.
>You never should have gone to that party when there were things at home to do.
>Never again. Never ever ever eve--
>Your train of thought comes to a dead stop as another noise rings out through the air.
>You know what direction that came from.
>Jerking to your right, you lay eyes right on a spot of black between two trees.
>No, not black.
>There’s two green dots, almost like lights but instead of being warm, they chill you to the bone.
>The black thing begins to move.
>It lurches forward, the sound of snow crunching accompanying it.
>The smell is overpowering now, but you’re frozen, unable to even plug your nose.
>Once in some brighter light, you’re able to better make out its features.
>It’s a huge thing that stands three or four feet taller than you.
>The piercing green dots that you had seen earlier are nestled firmly in a log and surrounded by leaves.
>That log seems to split near the front. Inside of that split are dozens of jagged chunks of wood that almost resemble teeth.

>>29256176

“Fuck me,” you mumble.
>The creature opens its wooden mouth and lets loose a truly revolting stench that clings to the inside of your nose and turns your stomach.
“Fuck me.”
>It comes closer to you, its wooden paws leaving deep tracks in the pristine snow.
“Fuck me!”
>The creature’s eyes are bright but even so, they feel almost dead as if it was just a machine animated by a desire to see you in its jaws.
“Fuck me,” your voice fills the air.
>You turn on a heel and break into a sprint.

Well it's short, but combined with yesterday, it's a little more than I usually put out in one sitting. I'll say that's good enough for now because it's getting late for me. Hopefully I'll have more tomorrow.

>>29239443
Will this fully updated pastebin count? http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

>>29256186
Good update! No typos detected. I really liked how you described the feeling of being lost.
I can't wait for reading more.

>>29257170
Out of pure curiosity, why are you using a tripcode? Do you writefag or something?

>>29257249
I once writefagged one really short changeling greentext.
I find an idea of anonymous posting a bit weird. I hang on /mlp/ frequently and in my opinion, when people read something it would be nice that they could link what they read with other posts made by same person (not necessarily in only one thread). Sometimes it could result in interesting conversations.
Also when making, even short, comments on someones greentexts I try in that way show that there is at least one lasting (regular) person who reads them.
On the other hand, I am a bit of attention whore.
Maybe I would find a friend here that way? It would be nice.

>>29257324
This is 4chan, not some forum. Being anonymous is the whole point. Unless you create content.

>>29257324
Guess it makes sense, who the fuck is gonna stop ya.
I see what you mean, >>29257333 looks like >>29257249 replied but it aint

Boop

>>29257333
This. Notice how Urchin's name is only attached to content posts

>>29256186
Thanks.

>>29257971
What a qt.

>>29258695
What did he mean by this?

>>29256186

>Oh Jesus.
>Oh sweet Jesus.
>Oh fucking porch monkeys on a Saturday morning.
>You’re fucking done, man. You’re cooked.
>Game over!
>Your feet smash into the snow and propel you forward, away from the Timberwolf, as fast as you can manage.
>The forest around you, everything save for what’s directly ahead, becomes a blur.
>You dart from side to side, dodging trees as you come to them.
>Oh man, when did running get so hard?
>Your lungs begin to burn as air recycles through them faster than you can register.
>Even your limbs begin to ache. They never did that before.
>Is the wolf still chasing you?
>Maybe you should look back.
>No, no you don’t need to do that. You really don’t.
>Don’t look back.
>Don’t look back.
>Fuck, you looked back.
>The splintered monster is hot on your heels.
>It doesn’t even seem to be trying to catch you right now.
“You’re supposed to be hibernating, you fuck!”
>Its mouth opens slightly, releasing another cloud of sickly green haze that trails behind it as it picks up speed.
>Book it, Anon!
>Your legs find power you didn’t even know they had.
>Suddenly you’re whizzing through the forest.
>That is, up until your foot gets caught on a branch because you weren’t looking where you were going like any decent human being would.
>You topple over, rolling in the snow for a few feet until your back slams into a tree.
>A groan escapes your lips followed by a shriek as the Timberwolf skids to a stop before you.
>Its hollow, soulless eyes bore into you.
>Little squeaks and creaks emanate from its wooden jaw as it gets ready to swallow you.

>>29261703

“Wait, what’s that?” you shout and point off behind the abomination.
>The leafy eyebrow raises and it turns away, following your finger.
>By the time it realizes its mistake and turns back, you’re long gone.
>Oldest trick in the book. Man, that was just swell.
>You’re unsure of how far away you are from the Timberwolf now, but whatever it is, it’s better than where you were.
>In fact, you can even see the ice-covered pond coming into view.
>Wonderful!
>Without hesitation, you leap onto it and slide several feet onto the ice.
>After steadying yourself, you turn around to watch the Timberwolf come out of the trees.
>Its piercing green eyes lock onto you instantly, and it runs out to the edge of the pond.
“Hold on! This is a thin sheet of ice over a deep lake! If you walk out here, you’ll drown us both!”
>Its paw pauses just short of the ice.
>Yes, it’s taking the bait.
“That’s right! Unless you want to freeze at the bottom of a lake, you’ll stay right where you are!”
>The Timberwolf pulls back and sits its hard ass down in the snow.
>Finally, you have a minute to catch your breath.
>Your body is sore all over from the recent trials.
>Hunching over, you place your hands on your knees and peer down through the ice of the pond.
>Alright, so you’re safe for the moment. Now you just need to figure out a way out of this situation in general.
>It would be much easier if you had magic.
>You could just set the monster on fire and be done with it.
>Maybe you could manipulate the trees to restrain it.
>Hell, you could even bury it in snow and pack the stuff so dense it becomes a block of ice.
>There are spells for all of that. Advanced spells, but spells nonetheless.
>Twilight could probably do them.
>Jeez, you never thought you’d say this, but you could really use Twilight right about now.

>>29261708

>Not use as in the typical manipulation shit you’ve been pulling for the last month, but actually have her near you.
>Her magical skill would be such a help.

>Let’s think, Anon.
>You’re stuck in the middle of a pond.
>At any second, the wolf could wise up enough to know it’s not going to break the “thin sheet of ice” and come get you.
>You’re tired, soft, squishy, and magicless.
>Most of all, you’re magicless.
>Wait, you already said that.
>Good. You have all your bases covered.
>Now, from what you’ve read, Timberwolves are incredibly stupid compared to other creatures like them.
>If you tried hard enough, you could probably convince it you were poisonous and not to eat you.
>Although they’re all supposed to be hibernating right now too so who knows. Maybe you got the one genius-level Timberwolf insomniac.
“Hey,” you shout across the pond. “Did you know humans are very bad to eat? Yeah, I’m chock full of,” you pause, thinking of what might be poisonous to a tree.
>Well shit.
“I’m full of termites.”
>It’s the best you got.
>The monster doesn’t even dignify your statements with a response.
>It merely stares at you, waiting, its dead eyes glued to you.
“You’re gay!”
>Fuck.
>Your eyes move back down to the ice.
>You don’t even want to look at the Timberwolf anymore.
>Instead, you’ll focus on those two orange dots below the ice.
>They sort of remind you of fire gems like the ones Twilight showed you after her adventure to Saddle Arabia.
>That was, by the way, another trip you were excluded from.
>You sure hope those aren’t actually fire gems though. That would be really bad.
>They seem to be floating to the surface, so you’ll find out in a second, you guess.
>The orange dots press against the ice.
>They’re clearly stones of some kind, but your platform isn’t melting so they’re obviously not fire gems.
“What the devil are you guys?”
>You kneel down and tap the ice with your knuckles.

>>29261708

>The next thing you hear stops your heart and freezes your blood solid.
>Was that a growl?
>Oh fuck.
>The dots blinked.
>You fall onto your ass and scramble away as fast as you can, slipping and flailing like a jackass.
>The ice begins to crack where you were once standing.
>Suddenly, it explodes and out from underneath the sheet comes a mass of stone.
>It falls forward, landing on the ice with two stubby rock legs.
>The ice crunches underneath its feet, sending cracks along the surface all the way to you.
>The horrible, jagged mouth of the creature opens wide, revealing a set of quartz teeth.
“A cragadile too? You’ve got to be kidding me!”
>The Timberwolf, emboldened by the display, steps out onto the pond.
>Side by side, the two predators glare at you.
>You struggle to reach the shore.
>Desperately, your fingers dig into the snow and pull you off the ice.
>In less than a second, you’re back on your feet and running for dear life.
“Help,” you shout into the dark, hoping for anyone to hear you.
>You can’t look back. You can’t bare to see them inching closer to you with every passing moment.
>If only you had magic.
>A speed spell would be real handy right now.
>You need to write a speed spell just for shits and giggles.
>No, what you need to do is live long enough to write that spell.
>What you really very truly need is some assistance!
“Help! Help, please! Anyone!”
>Your words are broken by heavy breaths that hurt your throat with every bit of chilly air that flows through it.
“Twilight! Help!”

>>29261717

>Christ, you can’t keep this up.
>Your body is slowly failing.
>Every step is harder to take.
>Each breath burns more and more and your mouth fills with a gross, filmy saliva.
>You can’t stop though.
>No, can’t stop.
>Can’t stop.
>Can’t catch a breath.
>Oh man, you need to stop.
>You slow down.
>Instantly realizing your mistake, your legs pick up speed again.
>That second wind doesn’t last long.
>It can’t even be ten seconds before you’re drained again.
>Finding a sturdy tree to lean on, you practically throw yourself against it and struggle for breaths.
>Behind you, the sounds of your pursuers are painfully loud.
>Alright, nap time is over.
>Get moving!
>You push yourself off the tree and start again.
>Sadly, all you can muster is a half hearted jog until the next tree comes to you and you collapse against that.
>Once more, you can hear the monsters closing in.
>You turn, placing your back against the tree.
>Is it time for a snarky joke?
>The cragadile doesn’t think so.
>It spins around and smashes both the tree and you with its stone tail.
>The tree is ripped out of the ground and thrown with you several feet.
>You slide in the snow and shout as a vomit-inducing pain radiates through your chest.
>You grab your side and push yourself up out of the snow.
>Fuck, you can’t die here. You can’t.
>You haven’t figured out magic yet. Not fully, at least.

>>29261724

>The snow gives you something to hold onto as you kick back from them.
>It’s not fast. Not as fast as a run, not as fast as a walk, not even as fast as a crawl, but at least it’s faster than laying there.
>You just need to get away from them.
>Those monsters will be the end of you.
>Without magic, you couldn’t possibly stand a chance against such things.
>You are only Anonymous, and Anonymous is weak.
>The Timberwolf, more agile than the cragadile, swiftly maneuvers through the trees and lowers its disgusting head to you.
>It takes your sweater into its mouth and hoists you up off the ground.
>You’re shaken, not stirred, as it jerks you to and fro.
>Eventually, it lets go and sends you soaring through the air.
>You slam into a high up branch and snap it right off the main body of the tree.
>Both of you fall to the ground.
>You’re unlucky enough to land on top of it instead of in the fluffy snow.
>Your eyes are squeezed shut from the pain, but even in the blackness of your self-induced blindness, you swear you can see the beady eyes of the monster as it approaches you.
>So this is how it ends, huh?
>Played with like some common toy, left to die in a dark, snowy forest.
>A magicless garbage heap that never did anything with his life.
>A waste of space. A black spot on the good name of humanity.
>Dad would be so proud.
>Well, at least it’s not all bad.
>You, uh, well you know.
>There was that time when you did the thing.
>And, uh.
>Ok, well it kind of is all bad.
>That sucks.

That's it for tonight. Here's to a good night and if I don't catch you cool cats over the weekend, hope you enjoy that too. Once more, thank you dear readers who have been following along or who are just picking it up. I do this for you.

>>29261737
poor Anon

He deserve that

>>29261737
I love this fic as its the first one i've read where he makes no concessions towards the ponies and hates his predicament.
Yeah, its reasonable to do but I love watching Anon constantly giving them the middle finger throughout instead of wanting to fuck them all and or turn into a boring meme filled slice of life where he porks Purplesmart on the regular and is "bros" with Ponk is refreshing.

Bump even though only page 4

>>29262856

>>29205410
This shit belongs to AiE, you retarded faggot.

>>29263784
Then why isn't it in AiE?

>>29263866
Because OP is a retarded faggot, obviously.

>>29264103
Or maybe because you're retarded

>>29263784
If literally every story featuring anon in equestria went into AiE the thread would be hugely bloated and reach limit very quickly.
If a specific circumstance like this has a large enough following it should have its own thread.
Kind of like Anon's Pie Adventure.

>>29264306
This is different. Almost EVERY AiE story have magicless Anon, go and write green in AiE, don't whine that it is dead, go and make AiE alive.

>>29264656
As I said, this is a specific kind of story that centers around Anon being upset in some way over not having magic, rather than simply living without it.
It has a large enough following to justify its own thread so it doesn't bloat another. I don't recall whining in any way, and I certainly didn't say AiE was dead.

>>29261737
>You push yourself off the tree
Should've climbed it.

hopeful bump

bumpo

>>29265225
You try climbing a tree after running a marathon to escape 2 giant monsters

>>29261737
I really like the comic so far.

I hope you accomplish this style better than Hussie did.

>>29266492
*story

Fuck me it's late.

>>29266492
Who the fuck is Hussie?

>>29266530
The creator of Homestuck, and he also used the 2nd-person perspective approach.

>>29266547
Are you new to /mlp/?

>>29264656
Want to know how I know you're an AiEfag butthurt his general is dying?

>>29268191

>>29270062
That Anon knows how to have a good time

>>29270808

>>29271591
Cyka blyat page 10

So how about some discussion for once?

>>29272477

>>29270062
Needs more vodka, cigarettes and sunflower seeds.

File: pepe suit.png (407KB, 4500x4334px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29266469
done that
except there was pack of wild dogs instead of monsters but course of actions were the same

>>29205410

>>29274450
I'm gonna need some exposition here

>>29261931
Why?

>>29242862
Is this fag gone forever?

>>29276164
Nope, fag here (on mobile).

Looks like I checked in on the thread just in time. I'll have an update tomorrow.

>>29212377
I thank you for the pastebin, senpai.

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2MB, 600x600px

>>29276237

dead

>>29277409
What makes you say that?

>>29261737
Jeez I can't leave you guys alone for two days without y'all thinking the story is dead. I'll have more sometime tomorrow.

>>29277409
Not yet.

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9KB, 264x191px

>>29212288
is there a pastebin for this?
i missed this but i want to read it

>>29280171
Try this: http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF
BUMP!

>>29261931

I second that. This is what you get for being a dick

>>29282351
Yeah because being mauled is just deserts for being kind of mean to a bunch of assholes

>>29282351
>>29261931
>Being rude = deserves being killed by animals

Wew lads, tell me where you live so i can never visit there.

>>29266469
Tree climbing is easy as fuck for humans. We are literally evolutionarily biased towards being able to do so nearly as well as monkeys.

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>>29270062

>>29284953
Cheekie breekie ponies
>Anon please stop squatting
Be of making me
>Why did I ever make him that wind suit?

^

>>29285392

Boop

>>29205410

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>>29285035

Kek

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>>29275125
Well, in russian glubinka large packs of wild dogs are not uncommon. Runaway dogs form packs and attack people when they're especially hungry. There are multiple occasions of dogs killing children and old people, or dealing severe damage. Just check this shit out: youtu.be/F84uciFD_ns?t=1m21s
When I was a teenager they attacked me on my way back home from school. That was in early winter so it was like minus 20 celsius outside and about 30 cm of snow on the ground. Even walking off road was hell of a struggle. Also, I'm scared of dogs to the point when it's almost a cynophobia. I had to run downhill about 100 meters and climb a 3 m tall fence to get to safety. You may say "hah, 100 meters, that's easy!" but dogs are faster than you, so I had to constantly shake them away and struggle to stay on foot and dont fall (falling equals death). Got away with a few bites, torn clothes and a flu. Also have a small scar on hand from that encounter.

>>29284725
>running off innawoods like a retard = getting eaten by wildlife
Ftfy

>>29288014
>getting lost like a retard on accident = running way like a retard on purpose

>>29261737

>The snow in front of your face shifts.
>It rolls forward and brushes against your cheek, cooling your burning flesh.
>An earthy scent, like that of an uprooted tree, fills your nose.
>Whatever was in front of you leaves. Clumps of snow begin to fall on your head and travel over your back.
>Suddenly, a massive force presses down on your back.
>You’re smushed into the snow underneath you. Not only that, but the branch you unfortunately landed on also digs into your gut.
>A long, pained shout escapes you.
>Forcing your eyes open, you see the Timberwolf standing only inches from you, leaning over onto your small frame.
>From the small of your back to the top, its sharp twiggy claws rake across your sweater, tearing it, the shirt, and your skin underneath it to shreds.
“Wait! Wait, stop,” you manage between your screaming.
>Think of something.
>Anything.
>It doesn’t want you, it wants food.
>You just happen to also be edible.
“You’re hungry, right?! I can show you more food! I can show you more food than you could ever eat!”
>The claws stop their shearing, giving you a chance to register how hot the rivulets of blood running down your sides are.
“Get off me and I’ll take you there! I’ll take you to Ponyville!”
>It waits.
>It thinks--hopefully about your offer and not about how tasty you look with all this juice running down your hide.
>So long passes that you begin to think it has frozen over, but thankfully the pressure comes off from your back.
>You’re given a chance to breathe again and quickly regret taking a big breath.
>Once more, your chest is filled with pain and you have to limit yourself to shallow inhalation.
>The wolf steps back into the dark, only its eyes truly visible.
>Shakily, you stand and prop yourself up on the leg that hurts the least.
>Alright, that was step one. What’s step two?
>Lie down again.
>No, wait, that’s not step two.
>Step two is something else. Something else.

>>29289489

>You wipe your face with a handful of snow.
>Get it together, Anon.
>Alright, step two would be to get their attention off you.
>And then what’s step three?
>Cross that bridge when we get to it.
>You raise an arm and point in some direction. It’s probably in front of you, but you don’t really have a good handle on where anything is in relation to you right now.
“There. That’s Ponyville. See it?”
>The green dots shift.
>That’s the go, Anon! Book it!
>You turn your back to the monster and begin to hobble away.
>Is this step three?
>This is the best you came up with?
>You’ve made a huge mistake.
>Oh well. You’re committed now.
>Who knows? Maybe it’s so dark the cragadile will never be able to sneak in front of you and catch you in its sickly orange gaze.
“Oh fuck.”
>You stop dead in your tracks when faced with the stony beast.
>It opens its huge mouth, the quartz teeth glistening in the sliver of light left in this pitch world.
>Your heart sinks so deep down it squirms out your ass and plops down into the snow.
>In one swift motion, it spins around and smacks you with its tail again.
>You’re thrown several yards before slamming into a thick tree trunk.
>Your body is a symphony of cracks when it collides with the solid wood.
>In and out of consciousness you slip.
>One moment, the creatures are far separated.
>The next, they’re right in front of you, staring down with their soulless eyes.
>You black out.
>When your next moment of alertness hits, the world is bright like someone turned a flashlight on right in front of your eyes.
>The shock keeps you awake for another split second, just long enough to see something in the middle of the glow.

>>29289494

>Then it hits you again. You’re asleep for some unspecified amount of time until once more, your eyes pull open and reveal an array of energy beams and glowing trees being thrown around.
>”Anon!”
>Hey, you know that voice.
>That’s the voice of going to sleep.
>Time to shut your eyes again.
>”Anon, are you alright?”
>Silly sleep. Are you alright? What kind of question is that?

>Three days later.

>>29289498

>The soft shuffling of sheets and moans sound in the background.
>He’s been doing that for a while now. It’s been off and on for the last two days.
>”No,” he’ll mumble and turn over in bed.
>You, Twilight Sparkle, can’t help but wonder what Anon is dreaming about.
>Given how violent some of his shaking can get, you don’t think it’s anything pleasant.
>With a sigh, you hover over a small wash cloth and dab it on his forehead.
>It soaks up a generous amount of sweat.
>If he keeps this up, he’s going to need new sheets again.
>Well, he’ll need some anyway, but before the nurse brings in a new set.
>Actually, you may as well do it yourself.
>You’re already here anyway, right?
>What’s forty minutes versus right now? The nurse can just change them again later.
>Heading over to the same closet that held Anon’s clothes last time as well as now, you pull a set of bed stuffs off of the top shelf.
>First things first, get him out of bed.
>You wrap Anon in a magic field and hoist him up off of the bedding.
>He huffs and resists, but soon gives up and drifts back into a more peaceful slumber.
>After peeling the soaked fabric off of the bed, you flip the mattress and lay down a new beige sheet.
>Anon is carefully set on top of it and covered with a plum quilt.
>All these clashing colors are kind of gross, but the hospital staff claims they carefully picked out each shade to create a calming environment for every patient.
>You like to imagine they meant “carefully” as in “relatively carefully” as in relative to picking colors out of a hat, they were somewhat careful.

>>29289506

>In forty minutes on the dot, Nurse Redheart enters with a fresh set of sheets.
>She helps you to fix everything up and settle your sleeping friend back into bed.
>Balling the leftovers into a ball, she throws them into a hamper near the door and trots over to you.
>”How has he been doing?”
“Better than yesterday. He still has episodes, but they’re not as dramatic as before.”
>She furrows her brow and glances at him.
>”I’d rather he have no episodes at all. He needs to rest, not roll around in bed and risk tearing a stitch.”
“I advocated for stronger medicine, but you said no.”
>”We’re giving him the best we can. It’s impossible to tell how much Timberwolf sap is left in his system. If we push it, they could react poorly with each other.”
“I suppose so.”
>The nurse lays a hoof on your shoulder and uses the other to gesture to the exit.
>”You should come with me. You’ve been here for three days now. You need some rest too.”
“I’m fine. Thank you, though.”
>”Are you sure? Even a cup of coffee would help.”
“You can have the coffee brought here.”
>”I guess.”
>Redheart leaves, closing the door behind her.
>Once more, you and Anon are alone.
>You take your seat back next to his bed and open up your book to the marked page, although you don’t manage to read any of it.
>Your mind is too busy wandering.