Princess Applejack

1 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
4 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15993073/
5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16130720/
6 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16246841/
7 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16379525/
8 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16501328/
9 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16610392/
10 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16662074/
11 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
12 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16868468/
13 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18413021
29 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18481892
30 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18584132
30.5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20580492/

50 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24759374/

100 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
131 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26966812
132 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27045491
133 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27091818
134 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27136045
135 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27192560
136 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27243315
137 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27268873
138: desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27308674/
139: desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
140 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27404496
141 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27463354
142 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27517724
143 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27582821
144 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27651717
145 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27704420
146 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27763205
147 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27830268

148 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27896537
149 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27955074
150 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28017167
151 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28064187
152 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28127177
153 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28180968
154 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28243103
155 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28293360
156 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28341301
157 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28386655
158 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28430382
159 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28472625
160 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28516835
161 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28560027
162 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28606503
163 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28650085
164 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28699834
165 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28747378
166 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28791420
167 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28818925
168 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28856603
169 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28902515
170 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28949840
171 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28987322
172 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29025369
173 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29070987
173.2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29108189
174 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29162287
175.1 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29162287

Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:>>29162287 (OP)
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:
http://pastebin.com/u/NSFT_NotSafeForTwo_

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

Jesus fuck, again?

>>29185577
It was my bad, actually. I normally keep it alive before I go to work, but no work, so I slept in another hour, and missed it by just ten minutes.

Just ten minutes, folks, that's all I did...

>>29185578
I can't let you have all that blame, /pa/l. I'm usually on break during the 'sleep' hours but I've been off for two days straight just enjoying the fuck out of some sleep. I'd even seen that last post from the previous thread and thought 'yeah, no, no need, it'll be fine'.

Never again.

>>29185577
I hate the fact I have work now otherwise I'd be staying up to keep the thread up.

What is with the traffic early in the morning!? People should be asleep, not making new threads!

Well, that's a depressing start into the new year.

Let's blame Celestia for that one.

GG YOU KNOBS

Now I gotta make sure this thread doesn't die while I'm at work

Do you know how bad mobile 4chan has become?

>>29185904
It blocked my mobile Isp completely like two months ago.

>>29185904
Tell me about it...

>>29185689
Last year, OP made a mistake and forgot to put the name in the header for the first thread of the new year, it was his one fuckup for the year, and he didn't do it again past that.

The thread ghosts have a theme, and much like how they insist we go down twice every year(Thought you'd escaped the curse, didn't you? New season only counted for one, fools.).

>>29186109
...holy shit, we DO go down twice!

First time was 33-66, then it was the start of the new season when we got bamalammed for 'roleplaying', and then right at the end of the year! RIGHT at the end!

Okay, fuck, we used up one drop already! If nuseason makes them go janitor crazy again we're fucked!

>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

"OH DEAR MOTHER WHY!? WHY NOW!? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LIVE AND LOVE IN PEACE!?"

>Ain't one of those questions, ya' scardy cat.

"Oh, phew. That worried me for a bit. Don't scare me like that!"

>Yer' fault you're so jumpy.

"Sure, we can pretend you're somehow my fault, why not?"

>Uh-

"I know what I said shut up."

>Right. Just had a quick question, ya' did tell the guards there's two of me running around, right?

"What? Why would I have to do that? They could literally just see you."

>Because unless we're standing side by side they'd just think Ah' got new clothing.

"That's ridiculous. You seriously think my guards, my loyal and devoted and stalwart guards, would ever let something like that slip right by them? That they'd miss something so blatantly obvious, really? You think they're so accepting of just anything, so passive, they'd not even wonder why you're dressed odd or why they could no doubt hear of you being across the castle? You think they'd just-oh crud."

>Dang it, Celly.

"You could have told them too!'

>You left the room! Why didn't you just tell them on your way to getting some cake?

"Shut up, that's why! You could've done it!"

>Celllyyyy.

"Don't."

>This is all yer' fault-

"Can't beat the classic, apparently!"

>>29186195
Maybe they do fuck around too much.

Just a bit, but we love them for it!

On another, less serious but just as important matter... Almost three years of being undiscovered! Woot! We are still mostly unknown by the undesirables!

>>29185673
Some shitposters never sleep.

I envy them.

>>29186391
You mean shitposters? We've had a ton of those, they just don't get a response and move onto easier and more gratifying pastures.

>Guard
"Guard 2"
~~~

>So... should we do something?

"Yes. We need to go and contact HR and tell them this is a hostile work environment. This whole environment? Totally hostile."

>I meant about the princess.

"No no, absolutely. Go on, buddy, you go on and you tell off the mare who apparently got so pissed off by whatever just happened to her that she said 'bring it' to HER OWN security system, broke in, started wrecking stuff, then quietly sat down and got to work."

>Does that sound like the princess to you?

"It sounds like every single angry mare I've ever met, yes."

>I mean does that sound like Princess Applejack?

"Every angry mare ever, yes."

>I'm serious! What if it's a changeling?

"Then what's the plan, jackass? Pull an Eighteen and do all our paperwork? The horror! She might reform our universities to be more inclusive and completely stabilize and grow our currency after a drastic freefall!"

>They might be taking over!

"If so, I remind you, those defenses were made to take out anyone Alicorn power or less. If, as you said, it's a changeling, they're stronger than an Alicorn. Which means..."

>We're kinda already fucked?

"Here's your prize, now let's just hope she got turned down for a dance."

>...I'm scared.

"GOOD."

>>29186528
>Step one of NuAJ plan, gas the lings.

>>29186574
What's step two? Get beaten to death by a pissed off pregnant mare?

>>29186486
No I mean tumblrinas and other fandom degenerates.

>>29186778
...the fuck? We don't care about that, so long as you give us some stories/art and keep the debates civil, who cares?

>>29186778
Why the fuck would they show up

>>29186835
>>29186836
But what if they did and tried to impose!? The horror!

>AUJ
~~~

>Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Yep. Nope. Nope. Yep. Nope. Yep. Nope. Yep. Yep. Yep. Nope. Yep. Nope.... what in tarnation!? "This edict shall hearby proclaim that Queen Chrysalis can walk into any stadium she wants without penalty or paying!? This is an act of war! It's an invasion!... And a really stupid one! Why would she just come outright and submit that for my approval? Er, other my approval. Point is, she's being really open and really dumb about this, and Ah'm not standing for it, she's going to hear about this. Ah'm storing that one for later, and she's gonna regret it. Now, where was Ah'... nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope-dang it! "Queen Chrysalis shall be allowed to dance wherever the fuck she wants to whenever she wants to"!? That one doesn't even make sense! Unless it was dancing on other me's grave... clever. Ah'll make a note of that one. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Yep. Nope-WHAT IN TARNATION!? Why would she try to slip in a bill this downright weird!? What's the purpose!? Is it to undermine our authority? Make us all look disgusting to the normal populace, make us... Oh, wait, this is a bill that already passed. And it passed years ago. And it was approved... by Celestia, and Luna... and Ah' wrote it.. other me wrote it, Ah' mean... So, uh... so this one's not a trick... Do Ah' really want to know why other me wanted to pass a bill where it's legal for a married stallion to get a blowjob and it isn't cheating?... Or do Ah' know it already?... Dang it, Ah' know it already. Ah' could veto this. Ah' could get rid of it... next one! Nope nope nope nope eeennnope...

>>29186962
...Don't know what I'm supposed to take away from that.

>>29186990
AUJ found the blowjob bill.

She does not disapprove.

>>29187051
Ohhhh myyyy~

>>29186962
>Chrysalis is still slipping in little laws to try to get passed.

I'm sorry but that's goddamn adorable and nobody will ever tell me otherwise.

Especially because they're clearly friends again and this is all in good nature.

Fuck that's cute.

File: IMG_20170103_142126.jpg (151KB, 814x1349px) Image search: [Google]

151KB, 814x1349px

>>29187051
No she does not.

>>29187261
THE
EYES

>>29187261
Now, see, you say that, but she very clearly is disapproving of me for all I did and was thinking of doing and I'm sorry.

>>29187261
>Says she does not
>Clearly posts disapproving picture

Conflicting messages here.

>>29187261
>>29187290
>>29187291
Disapporval mind.

>>29187261
...Do we have a regular Princess AJ human?

>>29187261
Fucking. Fantastic.

>>29187261
INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!

>>29187307
Not posted by me or completed, but there are a few in various styles somewhere in my piles. I think we have one though.

>>29187307
There's one in the wiki of her in a dress.

>>29187372
I wish to see! Show me the hooman AJs!

>>29187261
I don't care how angry she looks, she is damn cute.

>>29187261
>School council presdident Applejack, residing!
"Ah'm actually principal now."
>Can... can you do that-
"Did Ah' just hear backtalk?"
>MA'AM NO MA'AM!

>>29187588
New spin off, principal Applejack!

>>29187662
Damn it! I was going to suggest this for the 3rd anniversary thread! You've ruined the surpreeze!

>>29187261
I'm not the only one who thinks her bow looks like headphones, right?

File: IMG_20170103_152751.jpg (131KB, 828x1179px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 828x1179px

Introducing the first of the AU AJs!

R63 AJ of Frozen Equestria! All hail the Chief!

>>29187704
>Sorry, Mac, Yer beard just can't compare.

"... Ah' know..."

>>29187704
INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!

>>29187704
>Heard you had a harem.

"It's not a harem!"

>Not that small, it ain't. You're not even in the double digits.

"What!?"

>Keep trying, sport. Or you know... you could join mine-

"NOPENOPENOPE"

>Always with the fighting...

>>29187704
>For Equestria! For the Appleclan! FOR CYSER!

*Cyser: Honey and Apple Cider turned into Mead!

>>29187662
The teachers would be:
>AJ
>Shiny
>Chryssy
>Celly
>Luna
>Twi
With all sorts of school projects and hi-jinks involved!

>>29187809
You mean Shining is the Janitor first, he must go through his butt monkey phase no matter the Universe.

>>29187704
>Wanna know where these scars came from? Shaving... no, really, shaving. You ever tried to cut a beard this manly? Fucker cuts you right back.

>>29187809
Rarity is worst Teacher! Also Superintendent Discord! Coach Dash! Fluttershy was turned into a teacher using his broken superintendent powers! The only one not on staff is Pinkie because of Partyland 1.5!

>29
"Zecora'
~~~

>Tis like a dream.

If time had ever existed in a place such as this, it had long since left for pastures unknown, and left the white wonderland in it's simplicity, and it's emptiness.

"I do believe that is the intention, to hold one for all time. What better way to do it than with a dream sublime?"

They swam in it, this endless ocean of light, staying by one anothers side as closely together as they could, lest they be washed adrift and float away.

>I'm... sorry, that I didn't break free first. You always were stronger than me in this.

"I am, in ways of the mind at the very least. Do not concern yourself, this power is a tricky beast."

>My former hive must weep. Tis a sad day when another is so much stronger in ways of the mind than a changeling. But it was simply...

They floated among it, Changeling Twenty Nine and Zecora the Zebra, two souls that provided all the color and life in a endless expanse of nothing but the purest and untainted of white. No wings beat to keep them aloft, either moved freely with nothing more than the will to move forwards in an endless path that offered no sight of ending.

>It was so... wonderful, every second of it.

Without the trees to provide it, the changeling did not know what air rushed into his lungs, or how it could make him so full he felt nearly to bursting with the sensations that tickled every single nerve inside of him. His companion giggled, drunkenly turning a listless roll, her forelegs reaching out to roll through a vacancy that still tickled the fur on her legs.

"Yes, this place is wonderful, every second of it makes me feel so strange and so alive. It seems so strange now to ever think we would not survive."

>...Did we?

His words held a weight to them, but their heaviness would not keep her down. She rolled with the lightness of a feather, up and over his eternally moving form until her mohawk tickled the top of his chitinous head, and her eyes directly above peered down into his own.

1/4

>>29187871

"If we had truly left that mortal plain, we would know it, would we not? What good is it to take a life, if we are still left unaware to trot?"

He reached up, a move she symmetrically matched down. Their hooves hooked together, and with a simple pull she was brought down, or him up to her. In this world without gravity and without boundaries, it was impossible to tell.

>Maybe this is what's supposed to be waiting for us.

Her smile grew warm as he spun her, letting her twirl through the air with a smoothness the land they had left could never hope to match. She struck a silly pose at the end, legs and forelegs askew and her tongue poking out in a silly little way as she lay frozen in time.

"It can't be, and you know it to be true. This is not what awaits me or you."

He shot forwards, bowling over her in a playful burst of speed that sent her spinning on her side and laughing all the way as she twirled though the air. He stopped her wing a single hoof booped to her nose, now able to look into her eyes when the entire movement had stopped.

>And how do you know that? This...

He brought her in, holding her as they both began to spin again in a world without time, or space, or anything but their two souls.

>This could be the happy place.

She smiled in a way that mingled all parts genuine, warm and heartfelt, her hoof coming up to lightly rest on his cheek.

>It feels like the happy place.

If what rushed through them was a symptom of the world, an infectious joy that mortal bodies were not meant to hold, neither could ever know for certain, even if they spent every moment pondering it in this eternity that stretched out before them. When they looked to each other, they found they could not care.

"No... it is a wonderful place, that is most certainly the truth. But to find if it is the most wonderful place, I do not need sleuth."

>Tell me.

2/4

>>29187878

The hoof on his skin followed as his head tilted, never breaking from the stare he found himself lost within, even as his mind strained against the wonderful feelings rushing through every piece of his mind.

"I don't need to tell you, you know what it is in your heart. This cannot be the most wonderful of places, if it were..."

>...we would not be apart.

Their hold that had grown so tightly neither had even noticed how closely they had been brought, loosened slightly, letting them slide back, and see into the white expanse that surrounded the faces they could not look away from. They broke contact, searching around in the world for any sign of who should be there, of who must be there, but found nothing. This world, as beautiful as it was, was empty. Empty in all ways, sight, sound, smell, and most of all, those that the world was incomplete without.

>They're still out there, aren't they?

"You do not need me to answer that, or to show. You feel it, you sense it, you certainly know."

Her hoof touched his chest, sending more of the electric shocks up through his chitin. He nodded, feeling it in every beat of his heart. He saw nothing, he heard nothing, but there was more in this world than just what lie before him. Somewhere, out there, more hearts beat, somewhere he could not see, only felt inside of him.

>You're right. This world, it's incomplete.

At last, she nodded. At last, he understood.

>...We have to find them.

When she did it again, it was slower, almost regretful. When they tore away, there was a cold that had been left behind. A chill that would have consumed them, only to be thwarted at the end. Their hooves held on, and the warmth never let go.

>How did you find me?

Her smile, warmth, and the majesty with it returned a thousand times over when she looked to his face, to his eyes, to him in all he was and would be.

"The same way we will find the others. You know it better than I."

>...Why did you find me?

3/4

>>29187883

She never answered that. Not a single noise, of any measure, escaped from her lips in response. But when her smile grew and that brilliance outmatched the luminous world all around them, he had his answer.

>...You always were so much stronger than me.

All that was said need said, nothing more need pass between them, and both knew it. Even so, whatever the situation...

>Let us shatter the foundations of heaven, and fly back to our world.

The changeling was never one to let a chance to call to the heavens pass him by.

"After you. Fly true."

Hoof together, fur to chitin, two souls so different, so strange, flew off together into the expanse of nothingness. If they had to fly for eternity, they would.

>We are coming, mine dearest friends... hold on.

However long it took, until they were whole once again.

~~~~

Sorry for the absence, /pa/ls, holidays were rough, but I'm back baby!

>>29187704
He looks like he's not super into Apple farming.

Clearly he is worst husbando.

>>29187888
Holy shit I thought you were dead. Welcome back, /pa/l. Bring Sombra home already!

>>29187888
>>29187704
>>29187261
Well this crappy day just got a lot better.

>>29187893
How do you know? Obviously the Apples provide booze to all of Equestria to keep their tummies warm and tingly!

>>29187960
But Apples can't grow in frost.

>>29187888
HE RETURNS! And is making 32 happy.

>>29187704
I don't care how big he thinks he is.

Pigtails a cute.

>>29188027
Apples are to stubborn to listen!

>>29188149
>They said I was daft to try to grow apples in the middle of a frozen tundra... they were right!

>Dash
"Fluttershy"
'Cadence'
~~~

>I get the feeling she wants us gone.

'LEAVE!'

"What's making you think that?'

'EXIT!'

>I'm a master of reading subtle signals.

'BEGONE!'

"Are you really?"

'VACATE!'

>Oh yeah, I have to be able to read minute singlals when I'm flying, an inch or two difference can mean life or death.

'ABSCOND!'

"That makes sense. So should we leave?"

'DISMISSED!'

>I was going to say yes, but she seems intent on helping us out. I think she think's we're tired, and has to carry us.

'LEEEEAAAAVVVEEE!'

"That makes sense. Tonight is really making sense."

>It is!

CHUCK!

>>29188271
Annnnd there go my sides, being chucked right alongside Dash and Fluts.

>>29188160
You think being in a frozen hellsih wasteland is going to stop the King of the Apple North!?

Wellyes, but you shouldn't think that

>>29188271
Preggo caddy ain't taking no shit.

>>29187261
Hnnnng! Cute, but angry.

>>29187888
...great, now I kinda like it.

>Pommel
"Guard"
~~~~

>...I'm sorry?

"Princess Applejack sans hat and in a vest broke into her own office with some kind of crazy super magic."

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...I do not get paid enough for this shit.

>>29188872
Holy shit PomPom still exists.

>>29189010
And getting art hopefully!

>Pinkie
"Igneous"
'Cloudy'
~~~~

>Thank you guys so much for coming to see what I wanted to show you, it just wasn't right until I knew you got to enjoy it too!

"Aye, we are glad to have spent the holidays with you as well, you know your mother misses you so."

'As does your father, even if he doesn't admit it.'

"I admit it."

'He's a changed stallion."

>Awww, love you guys too. And you've got to come see when Partyland finally gets off the ground!

"So we shall, on the fourth day."

>Fourth?

'We feel it is the best one.'

>...I completely understand.

"It is inherited, after all."

>Am I going to go all crazy like you two when I get old?

"..."

'...Best of luck, child.'

>At least I'll have my partyland!

"...I shall let her dream."

'Good call.'

>>29189250
Ponka's parents can see the fourth wall?

That makes too much sense.

>>29187261
I like the art, but I can't get over the idea she's about to turn into her determined magical girl form. It just looks super anime.

>>29187704
And without the colors, if I didn't know this was AJ I wold never think this was AJ. Which is good for rule 63, I guess? You never want to just look like a guy version of it.

And I'm proud of you guys for not making a GOT joke.

>>29189473
There is only room for one magical girl in this world, and it is Two and her sidekick, MachuMalley!

>>29189250
I like to imagine they're having this conversation mid-toss.

>>29189756
>Cadence
"Various"
~~~~

"This was a wonderful evening, Cadence! Thanks for-"

>OUT!

CHUCK!

"We really need to do this again next year-"

>OUUUT!

"Ya'll think you can box up some of that there cake-"

>OUTOUTOUTOUT!

CHUCK TOSS THROW

>RRRRAAARRRGARBLE!

"Husband, husband!"

CHUCK!

"WRONG ONNNNEEEeeeee.."

>I don't make wrong ones. OUT!

CHUCK!

>>29189922
Damn it Caddy, let it go already.

>>29189965
She ain't lettin it go till Flurry lets her insides go.

>>29190141
That's a rather awful way to describe childbirth...

>>29190194
Awful isn't inaccurate.

>>29189473
Winter already came and decided it wanted the place all to itself, just said fuck you to spring and summer, fall can visit but only for like a week or two every other year then it has to leave.

>>29189473
You're not wrong, what you see is from all my prior drawing experience during my weeb years. I haven't practiced the EQG style enough to develop my own and I haven't practiced with the Disney-esque one I did for Human Auralia.

>>29190443
Lemme clarify it's not bad, it's actually rather good with that expression that conveys a lot with very little, just couldn't help but notice she looks like that.

>>29190408
Not in my neck of the woods. Around here all I've gotten is rainy and warm weather. Reason I never made a joke because winter isn't coming, it called in sick and it hasn't shown up for work in the week.

>>29190530
...Arkansas!

>>29190668
Nope.

>>29190677
Eh, close enough.

Night thread.

Normally I'd do this later, but I'm trying to get my sleep schedule back to something normal, so y'all will be down one person bumping at 2:00am.

>>29190722
This blows! I have to go to bed early cause I have an early funeral to go to later today.

>>29190722
>>29190751
Well, goodnight anyway

File: Euroquestria.png (39KB, 1236x1245px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 1236x1245px

Pfht. You guys...

...need rely more on us euro/pa/ls!

>>29191295
Gal needs more. Everything!

>>29191826
Years later in still laughing at that damn thing.

File: Screenshot-1128.jpg (982KB, 1600x896px) Image search: [Google]

982KB, 1600x896px

Fluttershy is actually a big fan of the juice keg.

"18 Transgender Celebs We Knew Nothing About"-tier bump

>>29192281
She needs a drink now a days.

>>29191971
It's the simple thing, isnt it?

>>29192281
>Juice
My ass.

>AUJ
~~~

>THEY STILL HAVEN'T REGULATED THE TRADE WITH THE DANG YAKS!?

~~~

>SHE STILL DIDN'T UNIFY THE IMMIGRATION NETWORKS!?

~~~~

>STILL! SHE STILL! SHE MOTHER HUGGING APPLE PICKING TREE BUCKING FACE HUGGING FLIM FLAMMING DIDN'T BUILD THE GADDANG FENCE!?... GGGGGAAAHHHHHHHH!

>that moment when you want to write something short and funny but with a hint of plot to bump
>but instead start writing a 12.000 letter purple prose magnum opus because you keep adding things to it to make it fit

Goddammit. I envy anyone who can write comedy and make it abbreviated without skimping on quality.

>77
"Cheerilee"
~~~~

>....

"Did you loooooove it?"

>...how.

"Oh, you know, just call me a mind reader!"

>No, I mean, how did you do this? Isn't this illegal?

"Nahhh, it's fine."

>I'm pretty sure it's illegal.

"Well, if you want, I can always take it back."

>...back to where?

"You're really bumming me out right now."

>I'm sorry, I know you tried really hard, but I'm just trying to wrap my head around a six headed skinless hound.

"He's the perfect guard dog! You said you needed a way to sniff out drugs? Well, he can smell things that are beyond pony comprehension, he could probably do that too! Probably! I haven't checked, but he could smell the fear off of a pony at a thousand paces, so... looking good."

>Just... promise me he was born like this.

"He was RE-born like this!"

>...

"...Weelll?"

>...I love it.

"I knew you would!"

>Here, uh...

"His name is poofer."

>...

"Don't like it? We also have-"

*HELLISH SCREAMING CALLS OF A THOUSAND DEAD CHILDREN*

>...Here, poofer! Come here boy!

"Hee hee! Much better!"

>>29193487
Getting him a PET for a gift!?

I don't say this often, but shit teir wafiu!

>>29193321
~~~

>...Eighty thousand bits for 'excavation help for an embassy'?... Gonna have to look into that one- WHAT IN TARNATION!?... HOLY SHIT, PARTYLAND IS A REAL THING!?

>>29193652
Worse, she got him a gift for work.

>Berry
“77”
~~~

>At last… at laaaaassst! It’s alive! IT’S ALIVE! IT’S ALLLLIIIIIVEEEE AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAAHHA! AHHHHH!

SLAM!

“Huh, this thing can smell anything... FREEZE!”

>FUCK! It’s the buzz!... See what I did there?

“Drop it, and nobody gets hurt!”

>Yeah, you! When I break your face in!

“Don’t make this any worse for you than it has to be!”

>He said, to his face, before he did something stupid and got it broken in!

“Berry Punch, put it on the ground!”

>NEVEAH!

“On the ground I said!”

>Well, if you insist!

“Don’t you-“

GLUGLGULGLUGG!

“Not the whole bottle...”

SLAM!

>Doooo whasha gonna doooo, Ah’ve alreheheee won.

“Damn it, Berry, MoonShine isn’t illegal anymore, Princess Luna thought it meant something else and legalized it.”

>…Eh? Sheennnn…

“I was telling you to drop the blowtorch, new regulations say you have to have a license for it.”

>Ohhhh…

“…”

>…*HIC*

“This job is bullshit.”

>AIN’T TAKIN’ ME ALIVE!

WHUP!

>>29194040
She may be Berry, but never forget the punch.

>>29193340
I know your pain, /pa/l. I know... your pain.

>>29194040
>See what I did there?
Chuckled most heartily. Well played, Punch.

>Spike
“Rarity”
~~

>Totally did not have to throw us.

“I agree, it was simply rude!”

>And violent. Like… could you at least not throw us through a wall?

“Really, it was excessive.”

>And kinda painful.

“It was! Now, look at me! I’m all ruffled up, my dress is a mess!”

>It doesn’t look that bad-

“However am I going to get it cleaned up before I head off to my families?”

>…Oh.

“I suppose I’ll have to spruce it up with magic, can’t have mother thinking I was caught up doing something uncouth or the like. Really, what would she think?”

>Yeah, thinking and you being uncouth is… bad.

“Oh! Did you want to come with, Spikey-Wikey? I’m sure they’d love to see you again.”

>…Naw, I think I’m going to go find where Twilight ran off to, she probably is getting caught up in something that needs my help.

“No doubt of that at all! You know that poor mare can’t keep a handle on herself most days. But that’s what she has you for, her number one assistant!”

>The best, yeah.

“Well, take care with that, Spikey, and be sure to call me if you need anymore help, this new Applejack is… rather unkind.”

>I will.

“Wonderful! Take care, darling! I’ve a train to catch!”

>Bye, take care of yourself…. Because I don’t need to anymore…

>>29194376
Awww...

>>29194376
Keep dreaming little guy.

>Flim
“Flam”
~~~~

>Annnnd,COMING AT YOU WITH HOLIDAY CHEER! IT’S LIVE WITH FLIM AND FLAM!

{DINGDINGINDING!}

“Top story rocking through Equestria, Princess Applejack’s new duds!”

{Wooooo!}

>The normally quite bland princess found herself rocking some brand new looks this holiday season, and we think we know whyyyyy~

{Oooooooo!}

“You know we give it to you straight, never tell a lie!”

>The Flimflam brothers are the most trusty of guys!

“So we won’t tell you if she’s trying to impress someone, not until we know for sure!”

>Not a peep about who she’s been see with and not a single word about who’s wiles she’s trying to lure!

“But this is something we can confirm, and we’ll let you do with it as you see fit!”

>For this holiday season, instead of going home? Princess Applejack made a little trip.

{OH OH!}

“Through the portal!’

>Across a land!

“To the place of snow and crystal places!”

>Princess Applejack probably put a smile on some white faces!

>”Ehhhhh?”

{AWWOOOOOGGAAA! Hammenah hammenah!}

>That’s what we have for now, and as said we won’t say a single thing more till it’s confirmed!

“But from here on our little sound stage, the Flimflam brothers want to wish you the very best for the holidays! No matter where you are, you can always count on us being right here!”

>Now sit back, and maybe we’ll play some songs.

“But first you have to hear the message from our sponsors! So stay turned to found out what’s next!”

>Play me off, brother!

{Feel the POWER with ThunderColt energy Drink!}

>>29194716
Okay, who is making this energy drink?

There is a conspiracy here

>>29194846
We've established, Luna.

To keep everyone up at night.

>Twilight
“AJ”
~~

>…Did Cadence have to throw us through the wall?

“Ah’ don’t reckon she had to, but it was more what she felt like she needed to do.”

>I’m noticing she was oddly selective, though.

“Did ya’ really expect her ta’ grab her daughter and chuck her? Gal’s asleep.”

>No, I mean she avoided some… usual suspects.

“Reckon she had her reasons for not tossing Luna.”

>Are they good reasons?

“…Do ya’ really want to know?”

>Weeelllll…

“Let’s just say, Ah’m super jealous, Shining is apparently-“

>NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!

“Figured.”

>>29194928
...brilliant.

>Twilight
“AJ”
~~~

>See? No alarms, nothing blaring, nothing going off, nothing insane happening, it’s allllll cool.

“It’s pretty quiet, ain’t it?”

>Deathly quiet, one might say! Not that they would, because that makes it sound bad, being death and all, and death isn’t fun. Death is not magic.

“Friendship is.”

>Friendship is, glad we established that. And we’ve also established I’m right and correct and all that jazz, right?

“Guess so.”

>Yep! I’m awesome.

“One question, though.”

>Shoot! I am the horse of books, I know all, I see all, I am all. I’m the element of knowledge, baby!

“Magic.”

>Knowledge is friendship, Applejack, we’ve covered this.

“Gotcha. Mah’ question was though, if she ain’t broken through, where is she then?”

>I’m all knowing, not all seeing.

“But ya’ said-“

>Without my cameras, to clarify. Just have to look her up, bing bang boom.

“Also, second question.”

>You only get two.

“That’s genies, and the number is three.”

>Suckers play by mystic rules, AJ.

“Right, well, second question should be enough. Iffin’ she did manage to break through, wouldn’t it be silent anyway? You’d think she’d be making more noise trying to get in, but less noise if she’s there, right?”

>I see your hypothesis.

“…And?”

>And uh…

“…”

>…Books?

“Twilight!”

>I’m going, I’m going!

>>29195266
I forgot how funny Twi could be.

>>29195440
She doesn't show that much anymore does she? She needs it to be back in the limelight.

>>29195540
As we change, so to do our characters. Personally, I try to maintain their funny quirks from the beginning of the series... even though Java-mama is eluding the shit out of me.

>Luna
“Celestia”
‘Cadence’
~Chrysalis~
(18)
{42}
-Spitfire-
~~~~~

>Is tossing out thine guests in such a manner tradition? If so, we find it offensive thou did not offer us the same at the gala, sister.

“It’s not, and you should never do it unless you can blame it on hormones.”

‘It’s not that, but I can do pretty much anything and say it is. Watch!’

SLAP!

~OW!~

‘Hormones!’

~I heard that whole conversation!~

‘But who’s going to believe you?’

~…Damn.~

>For the record, tis wise that thee did not attempt such on us, we would be less kind in retaliation.

‘I should just point out hitting a pregnant mare will make everyone hate you way worse than anything Nightmare Moon did.’

>…Curses.

(Shhhh! Will you all stop, the show’s going to start any second!)

>Yes, about this… ‘show’ that thou teases us so with, what is the purpose of the bits you have given us? Is it a magic show?

~HAH! This is going to be glorious!~

“Don’t spoil it.”

>But we wish to know!

{It’s pretty magical and… big.}

>Isn’t the stage a touch small, though? It is but a simple circle that looks barely enough for two ponies, at best. If a partner is needed, they shall have no room.

‘Trust me, if there’s some audience participation to be had, they’ll come down to us.’

-This all seems super familiar, but I can’t put my hoof on where…-

(Just enjoy the surprise, Spitfire.)

-It’s just going to bother me all night. Where have I seen this before…-

>May we participate in the magic show? We very much like to do that. Tis fun!

~HAH! Not until after me, moonbutt.~

“Oh, I would think I get first participation.”

(How do you figure? Clearly I get first dibs!)

‘Ahem.’

1/2

>>29195807

{Erm, not to take sides, but won’t the added, uh… area make that a challenge?}

‘We know how to make it work.’

(She does, trust her.}

{…Oh wow.}

~Fine… seconds it is.~

“(BULLSHIT!)”

>Oh… we wanted seconds. This is our first time, can we not go second?

‘…Tell you what, after the show starts, if you still want it, you can go first.’

“(~BULLSHIT!~)”

>Huzzah! We take back every slight we have spoken against thee, our favored niece!

-Wait, if she’s your niece, and she’s also Celestia’s niece, then doesn’t that mean that…-

“SHHH! It’s starting!”

>Oh? How doth the know-

The lights went down, a single spotlight lit up the circular stage, and as music began to play, a pole descended from above.

>…Oh my…

And with it, a speedo clad, smiling stallion, sliding down the pole.

“WOOOOOO! NOW WE’RE TALKING!”

‘SHAKE IT BABY!’

~HAH! BEST GIFT EVER!~

(GIVE IT THE SPIN! GIVE IT THE SPIINNN!)

{eeeeeeeeeeeeee….}

-I RECOGNIZE THAT BUDLGE!-

As their cheering grew louder, and the stallion began to dance, the lunar mare’s eyes grew wider, and wider.

>…We…

Slowly, she pushed the bits forwards.

>We would like to go first.

>>29195814
I can't.

I just can't.

That was too damn funny.

>>29195814
And that's how Luna became a mare!

>>29195814
>-I RECOGNIZE THAT BUDLGE!-

The funny thing is that I expected it before I actually read it

>>29195814
>Spitfires comment

Cheeky fuck.

>>29195814
Wouldn't bits hurt like hell when you made it rain?

Slipping them in underwear would just be damned uncomfortable.

>>29195965
Stop overthinking the strip show

>>29195814
>Twilight
“AJ”
~~~~

>…nneee..

“Twi? Ya’ll okay?”

>No. There is a disturbance in the fabric of reality. Someone… someone was as I was, so very long ago…

“…’

>….and they have been corrupted.

“…You want to talk about it?”

>You ever see something that never makes you look at your family the same way again?

“Like a giant dress that couldn’t possibly fit anyone else in Mah’ family in the closet?”

>…

“…”

>…You are my dearest friend.

“Thank ye’ kindly.”

>>29196149
Never going to let the dress thing go, I see.

>>29195814
NC
>Celestia
“Cadence”
~Luna~
~~~

>Hey, you wonder if this is going to come back to bite us? Like, we’re slowly corrupting my sister?

“Nahhh, what’s the worst that could happen?”

~THE DANCE SHALL LAST FOREVER!~

>…

“…Why does she always-“

>I swear she was dropped as a child.

>>29195788
>even though Java-mama is eluding the shit out of me.

It's harder because she's already kinda-mommaish.

>>29196149
She knows.

And probably wishes she was there

>>29196149
>>29196335
But Luna painted and has a gallery of lewd stallions in her emo moon tower that we'll never revisit. Just saying she's already gone down that road, still not sure if Pinkie actually took one or if Shiny stopped her in time.

>>29194928
>Luna begins to market amphetamines to the population
>Ninety percent are addicts, but hey, at least she's got friends!

>>29196496
It needs something new to it...

Maybe she gets super over protective?

>>29197161
Shining was smart enough to say no, and lings are immune to the bad effects. I wonder if 55 would burn longer or brighter if on speed.

>>29197416
Maybe supermode'ing someone as if it was a second personalith needs to stop being a thing.

>>29197416
What if Alterjack lifts the ban on coffee without caring to find out why cause she sees it as a waste and Java Mama comes back while Alterjack is around because of her Anti ling mentality?

>>29198336
And thus, with Chrysalis at her best the safety of all of them is assured! Its brilliant because Java Mama wouldn't turn down help or support from everyone else because it would ensure their safety if Alterjack gets hostile. And when Alterjack goes the ban can be reinstated or at least have coffee heavily regulated inside Equestrian boarders and in the CE. So we can have Java Mama on occasions in the future!

>>29198375
I like it!

>>29198375
We once had a length discussion why Chrysalis on coffee is a bad, cheap thing that needs to stop. We all agreed it to be the best course of action because taking Chrysalis only character flaws away to make her perfect in all areas with absolutely no drawbacks and using a ridiculously easy methid would make for a terrible character development.

I hate to be the one stifling excitement in the bud, but all this talk about 'well with Java Mama Alterjack can only lose because she is aggressive and bad and everyone will help Java Mama because she's awesome and super loving and perfect in every way' is already making me a bit sick.

>>29198753
Well, okay, first, not everyone was in agreement, mostly because I know I wasn't.

And second, I guess I missed the discussion about coffee making her 'perfect', so if that's the case then I agree. But what I meant was for her to act like she did when I first introduced Java-Chryssy in the first place, simply more calm and level-headed.

What Java-Chrssy story is there where she's absolutely perfect? I wrote a good majority of them and only recall her experiencing more insight with a more Queen-like demeanor.

Hello /pa/.
I took a short break from this threads and want to get back.
Last thing I remember was Sunset and Chitania jumping to each other throats in the middle of the desert.
Which thread was that?

>>29199119
The one after the argument about 13? That was Thread 170/1.

File: 1204736__safe_pinkie+pie_clothes_princess+luna_animated_magic_moon_costume_cow_artist-colon-flutterluv.gif (142KB, 628x487px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 628x487px

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and don'tcha wish your girlfriend was pink like us?

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!!

[Salutations my little ponies.]

>Would you like it if ponies stay up at night?

[We...wouldn't dislike it. We mean we'd appreciate it if people would appreciate our night's sky...]

>""...'"

[Okay yes we would, but we're not going to start force feeding ponies energy drinks and coffee.]

'Wait didn't I see you do a commercial for both?'

[Hmmmm....]

"What are you thinking?"

[Nothing...]

>"'...'"

[Oh look at the time. Doesn't your show end now?]

>It does! That's all the time we have now, but we'll see you next time!

>"'Byyyyye!'"

Luna wakes up.
[...It's time to seriously consider Starbucks.]

>>29199368
But where is the pun-

Ohhhh.

>>29198021
hmm

really makes

your neurons

go jingle jangle jingle

>>29198753
Hmmm... Ah, this. >>29199065. We never made her 'perfect', just better than she was before. Able to think calmly nd collectedly, taking time to see every angle instead of the 'best one', and letting her show her loving and caring side instead of hiding it behind indifference or pretending not to care as much.

We agreed on not using it to let her pull off some grand 'Keikaku' moment, which is what most of the Anti Java mama people really cared about, we did not agree because it was making her 'perfect' and because perfect Chrissy is 'bad'. And honestly I think we've developed past that point where it would be an issue at all now. We had the let's let the ride be enjoyable while it lasts mentality back then because we never expected to last this long, we're now in the how enjoyable can we make the ride because were never getting the fuck off mentality. And Java mama is enjoyable for all the comfy moments.

>>29199065
It's because standard level Chrysalis is very powerful and shootsy and has a lot of weird abilities she call call up in a jiffy.

Her drawback is that she's a bit of a spaz with using them

Buuut, slip her one (1) mug of coffee and now she knows exactly who to shoot, exactly how and precisely when.

Her CHA, INT and WIS stas go through the roof and it's pretty bullshit

File: audience.gif (100KB, 300x225px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 300x225px

>>29199639
Good show, sir! Very well said!

>>29199644
While I can see your point, her boosted charisma is what we love most, and boosted wisdom makes her more far seeing so she's less likely to not take a bad road because she knows better.

As for boosted intelligence, she's always been very intelligent, you can't almost succeed as much as she has and not be. Honestly I don't think it boosts it up, just makes it easier to get passed the spas and impulsive tendencies.

Its not that bad at all, now if it boosted her magic power levels or something like that directly, then I would agree and call bullshit on a broken op power up.

>>29199671
>you can't almost succeed as much as she has and not be.

Huh. Never saw it that way until now. Its usually something outside of her control or an unexpected player or piece in The Game.

>>29199639
Pretty much this, thank you, which is what I'm going to get back to using her for, those comfy, 'its okay to care' moments. None of that power-up nonsense, the coffee doesn't amplify what she already has, it just adds clarity.

File: shocked.jpg (34KB, 612x489px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 612x489px

http://30minchallenge.tumblr.com/post/155382001165/even-her-apples-got-crowns-artists-included

FOOLS

BEHOLD

File: 1483139614174.gif (823KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

823KB, 500x281px

>>29199741

>>29199741
Oh my.

>>29199741
>There is now lewd of princess AJ

What a world.

>Fuzzy
“Buzz’
~~~~~

>Annnnd, COMING AT YOU LIVE, IT’S FUZZY AND THE BUZZ!

~Fuzzy and the Buzz in the Morning, 97.1!~
~I am the one for whom the sleigh bell tolls!~

“Top story to-DAY! HAPPY HEARTH WARMING! AHHHHHH! I may not celebrate this crazy holiday, but I can sure use it as an excuse to have fun!”

>And it’s also a great reason to explain why he’s never at any parties.

“OHHHHH!”

~I’m spending time with my loved one-… loved one.~

>We hope you’re all having fun this time of year, but if you were worried that we’d take the holiday off, have no fear! Because we totally did, and you probably didn’t notice.

“A heavenly being was going to go show Fuzzy what life would be like without him, but he just got a card in the mail that says ‘Hey, at least a bridge means no cleanup?’”

>OHHHHHHHH!

~You think I’m missing a shopping sale for this one? You’re not worth a toaster, let’s be real.~

“But on other news, there’s been strange sightings of Princess Applejack in two places at once, and wearing different clothing! What could this mean!? Besides that she’s moving around a lot because of the holiday rush and got some new cloths for the holidays.”

>Or the more likely theory, she’s trying to move around as much as she can and switching costumes to avoid Buzz.

“OHHHH!”

~Fool! I’ll hit on anyone anywhere anyway! There’s no escape!~

>While we get that sorted out, we just wanted to chime in and hope you all had a special holiday with your loved ones.

“And that this year will be even more magical than the one before it. So kick back, sit up and jam out with er, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?”

>Who sent that one in?

“Sunny See?”

>Eh, let’s try it, see what happens.

“Can’t be any worse than what happened when you tried that on a date!”

>OHHHH!

~No, I didn’t get tased down there, I tested it!~

“Happy Hearth Warming, all!”

>HIT IT!

>>29199905
Missed these guys!

>>29199905
They live!

>>29199905
>“So kick back, sit up and jam out with er, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?”
>>Who sent that one in?
>“Sunny See?”
...is it just me or is Sunset as bad with cover names as Chitty is with disguises?

Also, hah! Even our bad guys listen to F'nB!

>AJ
“Twilight”
~~~

>…Twi-

“Before you say anything, know I am in a very upset mood, and will be raging silently inside while you say whatever it is you want to say next.”

>Kinda takes the bite out of it if Ah’m fearin’ for mah’ life.

“You, Applejack? You need not fear, never fear. You are going to be just fine, count on it. Don’t you know you are my very best friend.”

>Aww, thanks-

“However, on occasion, there have been things you have done that I have disagreed with, things that have annoyed me, things that have made me less than okay with what you do and how many times you do it. Small things, large things, things I both dislike and outright are enraged by the presence of. You do things, sometimes. You do things and they make me mad.”

>Uh-

“But she, despite looking like you, surely doing those annoying things you do, and acting like you do on occasion, is not you. I have no friendship with her.”

>S-…so-

“What we have here is a rare opportunity. We have a rare time when I can finally let allllll those little feelings come to the surface, and not be afraid of you looking at me funny next time we get lunch together. This, Applejack, is a rare time when I can finally cut loose.”

>..So-

“So she broke my stuff, now sit back, just watch, and I go show her why friendship is magic and I am a very, very friendshippy pony.”

>…Applespeed, ya’ beautiful mare.

>>29200237
This is going to end badly.

>>29200322
Our Twilight has a larger aresonal though, magical and technological, since the other one wasn't allowed to make things not benifical for Equestria. So she might surprise Alterjack a few times and get a few hits in before she gets taken down.

It just hit me, but if Alterjack had the entire Tirek debacle go down, she might have gotten all the power and she never needed to share because her power plus four might have been enough to take him herself. Which is why she's more powerful than a normal alicorn, she never gave it back! She stole the sun, the moon, the love, and magic of Equestria! She needs to be stopped!!!!

...why the fuck are you guys starting to hype Alterjack up as a villain that had to be stopped by Chrysalis now?

Is this the new mainstream now? "Applejack sucks, but because some folks want to see her succeed, well screw over the one who was successful but less friendshippy"?

Because if it is, I want to get off the ride now, while its still somewhat bearable.

>>29200434
Nahhh, don't be silly, we're just having fun. Her and Chrysalis have literally already fought it out, nothing came of it.

Chill.

>77
“Lyra”
‘Bonbon’
~~~

SLAM!

>FREEZE!

“These pants are fully loaded and I’m not taking them off for anyone! You got nothing on me, guard mare! You got nothing!”

>They’re made of hemp!

“And!?”

>Hemp isn’t legal for anything!

“…wait, what!? Why not!?”

>Because… you know, the leaves.

“What about them.”

>…

“…what?”

~~~~~

“Duuuuude, duuuuuddeee, DDUUUUUUDDEEE BONBOOONNNN!”

‘What!?’

“We need to make some candy.”

‘That’s not what my Cutie Mark means!’

“Duuuuudeee!’

“WHAT!?’

“I’m going to prison for smoking my pants.”

‘…’

“…”

‘…That’s very nice, Lyra.’

“Duuuddee.”

>>29200478
... you built this whole story for that last line, didn't you?

>AJ
“Twilight’
~~~~

>That didn’t go as expected.

“Okay! Several questions!”

>Yeah, it’s kinda showing off yer’-

“Not one of them! I do not care what’s on display or how big it is!”

>It ain’t that big-

“If you’re going to stab me, Applejack, stab me in the face, not in the back.”

>Ah’ don’t know where your face is, the vines are everywhere. Shoot, Ah’ can’t even tell what section of wall they came out of.

“You know, I kind of feel that’s irrelevant in the face of it all. You don’t ask what angle the lightning bolt that struck you came from, Applejack. I have many questions, and again, that is not one of them”

>Is one of them how she outsmarted you?

“I’m not outsmarted, I’m just surprised, nobody outsmarts smarthorse! You can surprise her though. That happens way more often than it should.”

>Ah’ thought you were-

“I know who I am, shut up!’

>Do you want me to help you down?

“…Actually? Yes, I have no idea how she did this, please use your no doubt similar magic in order to tell the mass of plantlife that I’m not to be trifled with.”

>Alright…

“…”

>…How do Ah’ do that?

“You want me to explain the intricacies of how to communicate magically with magical constructs?”

>Can ya’ do it in a short version? Work it into a song iffin’ ya could, Ah’ learn better that way.

“Fire it is!”

>Twi wait-

FWOOSH!

>…Ya’ okay-

“Please put it out before I die.”

>Ah’ thought you were-

“Fire is surprising! Now shut up and put me out!”

>Ah’ puttin’ it out, dang…

>>29200635
Holy shit, Twi is on fire.

>>29200434
Chances are, Alterjack might get hostile again, and she will always be in the wrong despite her good intentions. Only ours can quake this Earth and be in the right. And honestly she's not that far off from being an accomplished villain, she has complete control back home, all she's missing is actually being evil. Now were not making her to be a bad guy, but so far she's turning out to be a bad friend/family member/etc. Though that's because she thinks its for the greater good of everyone.

Besides she is the... Obstacle of this Arc, the challenge to overcome, and both her and our AJ will learn their respective lessons so its all good. In the end it will be them hammering it out,, either with words or violence or both.

I was just throwing stuff out about how we could bring java mama back realistically and what her purpose would be to protect her lings from a threat. And if Alterjack should come knocking, Queen Chrysalis will be there to answer.

>>29200635
Goddamn, bookhorse.

That's gold.

>Guard
“Guard 2”
~~

>…Should we question-

“For the love of Celestia, NO.”

>She said to stop using her name like that.

“She said a lot of things, but I still am going to be in the dance troop for Sapphire Shores one day.”

>She never said-

“Don’t you try to squash my dreams too!”

>>29200715
We could always bring her back in a much more benign fashion, just have her do it accidentally

>AJ
“Twi”
~~~~

>Ya’ pulled a Chrysalis there, Ah’m noticing.

“Chrysalis never set herself on fire before.”

>Will it make ya’ feel better or worse if Ah’ confirm that is most certainly not true?

“Worse.”

>Not sure how that there’s supposed to work-

“Alright, in order to combat this, I’m going into logichorse mode, and as such, after carefully analyzing the data-“

>Aka confirming yer’ hair didn’t burn off.

“-I’ve concluded that she has placed magical barriers in front of my office.”

>Our office.

“Clearly, this act cannot be tolerated, putting magical barriers in front of rooms is something only evil ponies would do, so she’s clearly evil, and only doesn’t have the mustache because she is a mare.”

>Didn’t you put them in first-

“Obviously, it’s time to start wreaking havoc with magic. I am the Element of Magic, she is only the Element of something way less impressive.”

>It’s honesty. She’s the Element of Honesty, you know this, Ah’m-

“Faithful and strong, I remember the whole dance. I, however, am the one who brings the magic, and I don’t care if I have to scorch earth a section of castle, I’m bringing the fire.”

>Can’t Ah’ just go in there? It’s gotta be tuned not to attack her, right? Otherwise how’d she get in there? So if Ah’ go, it shouldn’t hit me, should it?

“…Don’t you use logic on me, logic has no place in my home!”

>But aren’t you in-

“Mode switch!”

>…So should Ah’-

“Clearly you should do it, because it’s the smart thing to do, and I’m a very dumb pony.”

>Aww, come on Twi, yer’ smart! Smartest pony Ah’ know!

“Very best friend, that’s you. But you’re right, there’s no way that the plants will attack her biological and magical signature, you should be good.”

>Don’t worry, when Ah’ get over there, Ah’m gonna kick her hard enough for the both of-

WHIP!

>Guess Ah’ have self loathing issues.

>>29201200
I'm dying.

AJ is the perfect straight mare.

>>29201200
>>Guess Ah’ have self loathing issues.

Crying on the inside, AJ!

>>29200953
What do you mean? Its already benign, Alterjack lifts the ban, Chrissy gets a cup of Joe somehow and bam! Its not like she's actively looking for it or anything like that. You seem to have it in your brain that its some kind of plot for her to actively go against Alterjack that were discussing.

>>29201200
Oh, OH! I just thought of the perfect way for them getting in! It involves... Fire! Dragon Fire!!!

>Guard
"Guard 2'
~~~

>I really think we should-

"Go get our asses kicked because they're clearly out of our league?"

>...

"You do realize this is almost certainly a Twilight experiment gone wrong, right?"

>...So, what do you think she's going to do next?

"Something silly."

>Let's watch the silly horse!

"Now you've got it."

>>29201639
No respect, no respect at all.

>>29201458
>Dragon Fire!!!

NC
>Spike
"Twilight'
~~~~

>...Come again?

"Do it. Use your fire, give me access to my office, make me hate again."

>Uh, Twi? I've never done that with anything alive, ever.

"I'm not worried."

>I'm setting you on fire, you really, really should be.

"I've already been set on fire today, it will not stop me."

>That's... kinda worrying?

"Only if you fear the reaper pony. I do not. Put a scythe on a pony, he's still adorable. We ponies can be adorable through anything."

>...Can dragons?

"No."

>Awww.

"Burn me, Spike! Burn me like the fires of my hate!"

>Alright, if you insist...

~~~~

POP!

"Oh, shoot. Forgot where this goes. Hey, Princess Celestia, what are you watching-NOT AGGAAAIIIINNN!"

>>29202266
She cannot escape Shiny's Shiny swinging in her face.

EVER.

>AJ
"Twi"
~~~~

>Think we might need to farm this one out to someone.

"Applejack? Talking about farming? Who are you and what have you done with my friend!"

>Iffin' you were trying to be funny, all you managed was making me remember that Ah' don't know how tall Bloomington has grown... Ah' miss mah' farm.

"Subject change! Yes, we might need to get some help with this. Figuring out what her spells do and how to disarm them is pretty easy, obviously, it's not like I'm dealing with a pony that smart here."

>...

"...Moving on. I'm clearly dealing with a very capable pony who had a lot of hidden potential and obviously tapped into it by spending more time with her totally smart and awesome friend who just wanted to show her how to change something into an apple it was so cool and we could do it, it isn't just oranges!"

>...

"Moving on. I can figure out what these spells are pretty easy, and countering them should be a snap, buuutttt..."

>Ah'm already upside down, ain't gotta draw attention to it.

"I'm way too jealous to do that. I was just saying, I can figure this stuff out, but I can't break it."

>Because?

"Because there is way more power here than there should be. Can I break it? Yes. Should I? Not sure, since I would probably have to go full magichorse on this one."

>Stop callin' yer'self a horse, you're clearly a pony.

"I like to pretend I'm like Smarty Pants."

>Smarty Pants is a horse?

"No. He's best horse."

>Bout the other thing, what's wrong with going full magic?

"I'd level half the castle, probably. I wouldn't just take break it, I might kill her if she doesn't see it coming."

>And?

"And talk me out of it because I'm seriously considering this."

>>29202593
Twi, why must you hurt her so?

>>29202444
One day, she will learn to love it.

>Celestia
"Luna"
~~~

>Did you enjoy the show, sister?

"Far more than we should have..."

>Yes, about that, no more bits next time, you are not responsible with them.

"We didn't know what thou intended us to do with them, tis not like one could slip it in the string!"

>We might need to switch to paper currency.

"It would make it far easier to pay him. Though we'd have to make sure the Empire accepted it and had a concurrent exchange rate for currency value comparable to ours, though slightly less obviously."

>Obviously.

"It would also make it easier to carry large denominations of bills, wouldn't it?"

>Easier to steal too, though.

"Yes, but that's the risk for inflation. As it is, one could brain a poor soul with a suitcase enough to buy a load of apples!"

>Ouch.

"Indeed, right to thine heads! WHACK!... Though we suppose that's one way to keep both the money and the item purchased."

>We're ponies, everyone has magic and stuff.

"Ah, yes, we'll have to ensure it can't be magically counterfeited."

>Harder to do with paper.

"It is, but it allows for things one would not expect, like watermarking."

>Brilliant, sister!

"Thank you!"

>...

"Did we just do a politics?"

>You did. I'm so proud.

"...This has been the best of days."

>>29203259
I found this way more adorable than it had any right to be!

>>29203309
We don't get nearly enough sisterly bonding.

>>29202266
>Put a scythe on a pony, he's still adorable. We ponies can be adorable through anything.

Holy shit my sides.

>>29203525
We get more of her than AJ/AB.

>>29203766
NC

>Givin birth!

"Nope! Look at this!"

>... Is that your mom!?

"See, she looks cute as a button!"

>... Why do you have a picture of your own birth... Where did ya even-

"Not important! Daddy gave this to me when I left Canterlot!"

>...Why!?

"He said this picture would remind me where I came from!"

>...

"I think he meant it as a joke, but it works!"

>... Its a bit weird Twi.

"Doesn't matter, point proven, facts win the day! We are a cute!"

>...

"A CUTE!!!"

>>29204126
As if anyone could deny that.

Goodnight thread.

File: 20161110011145-384.gif (46KB, 384x384px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 384x384px

>>29204681
Goodnight.

>>29204904
Ssssssh, the apples are sleeping....

File: 20161110020155-384.gif (85KB, 384x384px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 384x384px

>>29205331
Don't think it bothers her one bit though

>>29204904
>>29205608
Saw these while browsing the front page, sauce?

>>29205619
This thread

I'm not being cheeky, they were made for us.

>>29205608
>Unconsciously prepping for Spike

>>29206068
Pinkie no.

Too much.

>>29205619
>>29205787
To be more specific, they were courtesy of resident drawfsg Schmoe, you can see more his stuff in the Wiki, or here, >>29187261 >>29187704 he's great.

File: 1146368__safe_solo_pinkie+pie_cute_simple+background_transparent+background_sleeping_patreon_party+cannon_artist-colon-alasou.png (594KB, 1400x1050px) Image search: [Google]

594KB, 1400x1050px

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Celestia]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but wouldn't you like to start the day with us?

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main guest...PRINCESS CELESTIA!!!

[Hello my little ponies]

>Have you done any advertising in the past?

[Sort of. I've been subtle about it, so most don't typically realize I do a little bit of it.]
Celestia drinks a bottle of Sunny D.

'So you do sell out.'

[Sell out is a bit strong. It's more like getting pocket money for myself.]
Eats some Lunchables.

"Does anyone catch it?"

[Nah]
Celestia spins a rattle nonchalantly.

>Well that's all the time we have, but we'll see you next time!

>"'Byyyyye!'"

DT wakes up and takes out a pack of Lunchables, Cadence ponders about getting a baby rattle, and Pinkie wakes up getting a bottle of Sunny D.

>I wonder what she advertises?

>>29206622
>Spins a rattle nonchalantly

...that is a weirdly racist mental image.

>>29206622
>and Pinkie wakes up getting a bottle of Sunny D.

Wakes up while getting it? That is effective!

>Blueblood
“PJ”
‘Haymaker’
~???~
~~~~

>…Well, this is an odd predicament.

He didn’t know what better way there was to describe it, as any mortal words just couldn’t do it justice.

“Who the fuck tied us up to the ceiling on friggen twizzlers!?”

That came pretty close, though.

‘Ooooh, my head… huh, tied up again? Who did I… oh. You guys? Weird.’

Both hanging ex-prince and changeling chose not to think about that.

‘What happened last night?’

>Twizzlers, apparently, very strong ones. Who were these made for? Are you supposed to chew on something that can hold up your body weight?

“That’s your question?”

>Well, my follow up is ‘why haven’t you used your special swords to cut yourself down’. I figured that went without saying.

“Yet, you said it. See the issue?”

>Cut us down.

“Would loooove to, one problem, I’m not wearing anything.”

>I have questions.

“You, on the other hoof, are wearing something!”

>…Several questions!

“Wait, I’m wrong, I’m wearing something… is this your necktie thing?”

>All the questions!

‘All of them? What does that even mean? Why are you spouting something so weird? Is this supposed to be slang? That sounds stupid.’

>Alright! Just cut us down!

“You’re in my underwear, I can’t do anything.”

>Don’t say it like that! Just cut us down the regular way!

“…With hooves?”

>LASERS!

‘I don’t have those, jackass.’

>Her!

“I don’t have enough love magic, which…. Actually raises some interesting connections to the fact this room looks like someone took a blowtorch to all of it. Wow, how charged up was I?”

>Help! Can anyone hear us!

~Oowwwieee…~

>…

“…”

‘…Arana?’

~…Owie owiw… what the snickerdoodles!? OH NO! OH NO! IT WASN’T A DREAM! IT WASN’T A DREAM! I’M GOING TO THROW UP…oh, it’s just Twizzlers, hee!~

>…

“…”

‘…’

~You guys need hel-~

>”’YES!”’

>>29207258
Hangover, pony edition?

>AJ
“Twi”
‘Dash’
~~

>See the dilemma we’re in?

“She’s in, I’m actually tempted to find some sort of plant killing virus and sicking it on her magic, just to watch her face.”

>Ah’ told her no.

“She told me no, because a virus that kills all plant life would be bad.”

>It would be bad.

“She’s not wrong.”

>Ah’m totally right.

“She’s right. But that’s where you come in!”

‘You want me to destroy all plant life in Eqeustria?”

>We might’ve slid the conversation a bit, we just want you to go hit her a lot.

“In the face, perferrably.”

‘And the reason the two magical superponies are asking the worlds most awesome pony is because?’

>You do see why if that whole line was factual, it would make perfect sense, wouldn’t it?

‘I will leave you.’

>Element of Loyalty, everyone.

‘Obviously we need to trade, I’m being honest.’

“As am I! Fly over there and start hitting.”

‘You never answered why me, exactly?’

“The vines have a point nine one one three second cast time, you are fast enough to fly past them. We are not.”

>Too much junk in the trunk.

“You don’t have to make me feel better.”

‘No no, you are kinda chunky.’

“Hurtful.”

‘But fine, I’ll take this opportunity to beat up not-you.’

>If ya’ll have trouble, just remember it’s not me.

‘Are you asking me to go easy on her?’

>…Switching ain’t gonna work, not feeling very loyal.

“Dash? Please hurry before she does more damage.”

‘ONETWOTHREEGO!’

ZOOM!
BAFF!
THUMP!

“…Huh, explosive spore magic, maybe sphagnum based? That’s unexpected.”

>Seems like she can’t move.

“Definitely having a paralysis effect.”

‘COME HELP ME!”

>Yer’ behind the vines.

“Also, it would hit us too, so… sorry you can’t outrun an explosion?”

‘TWILIGHT! TRADE ELEMENTS!’

“No way are you being very magic right now.”

‘ASSHOLES!”

>She ain't lying...

>>29207657
And Dash enters the fray!

>>29207657
This looks like its gonna be a mane six adventure! All my hype! Heartswarming wish/new years resolution coming true!

>Cantie
“Cantie 2”
~~~~

>…So are they-

“They’re doing something, alright.”

>We’re still not-

“No.”

>You ever wonder if-

“Y-yeessss…”

>…I was going to say if you wonder if zebras ever wonder if they’re white with black stripes or black with white stripes.

“…”

>…

“…Me too.”

>>29207258
Rolling on the floor in fits of laughter: the /pa/l chronicles.

>Cadence
“Eighteen”
‘Chrysalis’
~~~

>That was nice.

“It was.”

‘We really need to do this more than once a year.’

“We do!”

>I don’t know, it’s better because it’s rare to me.

“I see the argument, but don’t wholly agree with it, rarity doesn’t equal good. Rarity can mean unrefined.”

‘HAH! Injokes.’

>What?... Oh stoooopp!

“Tell me it wasn’t clever.”

>It was mean, she’s trying! She tried to help me first, after all.

“Ahem.”

>Directly, I mean. You helped me, oh sweet mercy did you help me, but she was the first to sit down with me and try to get me to understand the actual work. Well, after Celestia, I mean. And after Shiny nudged me. And after Twilight tried. And after… wow, I suck.

“Shiny disagrees.”

‘HAH!’

“I meant it in the regular way!”

‘Maybe that’s the problem, she needs to mix it up.’

“This is why we don’t let you near the eggnog.”

>And for your information, I don’t do that, it gets in my hair.

‘Is she still-‘

“I will cut you off.”

‘Not worth losing the booze.’

“Good call.”

>…Huh.

“What’s up?”

>I just remembered both of you at one time tried to replace me and take over my life.

“…”

‘…’

>…Weird times. Oh! Next time, he needs to be oiled!

“…”

>I like oiled. It’s smooth.

“…”

‘Roll with it.’

“Rolling with it.”

‘HAH!... You think Forty Two is going to wake up soon?’

“She cannot hold her liquor.”

>What? Everything’s non-alcoholic, for obvious reasons. You know? Babbbyyy?

“Oh, guess she just passed out, then.”

‘…’

>…OH CRAP!

>>29208230
Worse ways to die, I guess?

>>29208230
>Cadence
“42”
~~

>Forty Two! Speak to me! Talk to your love-horse! What happened!? Did you faint out of pain? Was the hurt too much!? Heart attack!? Stroke?! Stroke-cancer!? Is your body shutting down because it would rather shut down than stand one more second in horrible agony!? Can you remember what color comes after blue? Speak to me!

“Nuuuu.”

>What happened!?

“…”

>Oh my gosh! Your face! Oh sweet merciful heavens there’s so much blood coming out your organs must be-wait.

“…’

>…Oh, Forty Two.

“You knew this was going to happen, and you let me do it anyway. I’m clearly not capable of being responsible.”

>I’ll get the napkins and noseplugs…

“Bring the whole roll.”

>>29208591
>>29208591
>Can you remember what color comes after blue? Speak to me!

You fool! You had the chance to make her say number after blue!

>AJ
“Twi”
‘Dash’
~~~~

>For the record, Ah’ knew she had something in case you tried to use telekinesis.

“Then why didn’t you say something before I got a facefull of rosebush?”

>Figured the smartest pony in the world would’ve seen it coming.

“I did. I just wanted to show you so you didn’t do anything brave but silly in trying to save Dash. I took one for the team, because friendship.”

>Ain’t plannin’ on saving her.

‘ASSHOLE!’

>Ah’ meant she ain’t gonna do anything to hurt you, she doesn’t’ seem like the type to seriously injure nobody, so leaving you there should be fine till we figure out what to do.

“What about what she said about Chrysalis?”

>…She was kinda vague on that.

‘WHAT!?’

>Alright, point taken. Don’t set off nothin’ else.

‘I can’t move!’

>Good start, yer’ great at this.

‘Fuck you!’

“You have got some serious attitude problems here.”

‘I can’t move!’

>But you can hurt, and ain’t that the most important thing?

‘NO!’

>…Maybe she should be the Element of Honesty?

“You realize we still have the initial problem of not being able to get through, right?”

>Setting it on fire is-

‘EAT A THUNDERBOLT!’

>Was gonna say clearly off the table, since it would catch you, but iffin’ ya’ want to push your luck…

‘Just save me!’

>Alright, we’ll figure something out.

‘Thank you!’

>…

‘Well!?’

>Hm? Oh, just waiting for Bookhorse to figure it out.

“Me? All of my plans have failed pretty hard here.”

>Whlep, we tried.

‘Fuck yoouuuu!’

>Ah’m clearly not the Element of Laughter.

“It’s a tough crowd.”

‘I could’ve been getting drunk instead of this!’

>>29208818
>Dash moves in seamlessly to the gag.

Glorious.

>AJ
"Twi"
'Dash'
~~~~

'I'm going to stab you when I get feeling back in my legs.'

>Ah'm gonna be honest with you, ya' ain't unjustified in that one.

"Tit for tat, and all."

>Ah'm a simple mare, got simple answers to simple questions. If somethin' is over in a place Ah' don't wanna be and Ah' wanna bring it back...

"I see the base logic, however, I think you missed the point."

>Haw! That's clever, see why yer' the smart one of the group.

'HA HAHA HAHAHAHA SO CLEVER YOU'RE SO CLEVER YOU HOOKED ME WITH A DAMN FISHING HOOK!'

"Redundant, of course she hooked you with a hook, what else would a hook do? Should've said stabbed."

'RIGHT TO THE EYE, TWILIGHT!'

"I'm rapidly losing the will to save her."

>Starting to think this is some plot by other-me to turn us against each other.

"It's subtle, but clever, isn't it? She's clearly an opponent we shouldn't underestimate three times in a row."

>Four, you mean.

"...Damn, she's good."

'STOP IGNORING ME!'

>AUJ
~~~

>Nope, nope, nope, need a new one there, nope nope nopen the door, get on the floor, this here dung's bigger than a dinosaur... what in tarnation is goig' on outside anyway?

>>29208591
>Love overdose finally returns

Glorious.

>AUJ
“Pommel”
~~~~

>…And three, two, one.

She leaned forwards smoothly, just in time to watch the floor open up, a large tendril of a root of some kind flowing upwards in tune with the growth of the cracks on the floor. Within it’s smooth yet strong bundling of vines, a certain unfamiliar white unicorn found himself dangling helplessly, all magic cast against it useless.

“BACK! BACK YOU DAMNED PLANT! Seriously!? I can kill a damn stargod but not a… princess?”

>Ah’d hope so.

The pony was unceremoniously dropped into the middle of the floor, but the tendril remained hovering above him with the occasional threatening twitch.

“Is there a reason you abducted me via giant plant from my office instead of… you know, just calling for me, Princess?... Also, holy shit, since when could you do this? This is pretty amazing.”

>Not here to discuss pleasantries, Pavel.

His eyebrow shot up as he stood, dusting himself off and casting a suspicious glance between her and the plant.

“Did I do something that wrong? Are we down to mean girl stuff now? Is getting my name wrong supposed to be an insult? Look, if I messed up on something, just say it.

>Sorry, Pommel, messed up with that one. That’s on me, sorry.

“That somehow hurts worse than if you were insulting me.”

>Worry about it later, for now Ah’ve got some questions for you. First off, when’s the next annual Captaincy gathering?

“The uh, what now?”

>The… whatever you want to call it, when all the captains of the various jurisdictions of Equestria get together to talk.

“…We do that?”

>You don’t even meet to discuss issues!?

“No? Why would we?”

>Do you share intel, at least?

“With who??”

1/3

>>29209846

>The other… can’t believe Ah’ have to explain this. Do you corroborate with the other jurisdictions? You know, criminal investigations?

“We give them wanted posters, sometimes?”

>Do you do joint training?

“They do their own thing, mostly.”

>Do you at least know their names!?

“…The one in walking distance?”

Her hoof slammed down, and he jumped.

>Do you all do anything right?!

“Okay, that one hurts, but I’m not sure why.”

Applejack let out a grunt, shuffling through the paperwork before her in a frantic search.

>Damn it, where’s the investigative branch here, I need to see how much they’ve found wrong and how much they’re just accepting.

“I… is this some kind of test? Am I acting? Improv, maybe? Because I went to that exactly once for Daw, I’m not feeling it with you.”

She stopped, looked up, and glared at him right through her sharp glasses.

>You’re telling me… you’re seriously telling me there’s no outside agency to weed out corruption, bribery, misconduct and illegal activities in the royal guard?

“…Me? I do that.”

She took a deep breath.

>You do that.

“Yeah.”

>To your own soldiers.

“Right.”

>Who work for you.

“Hey, I don’t pull any punches, any misconduct and I snap down hard on them and they’re punished fully, I run a tight ship around here.”

>But it still falls on you, for all of them.

“It’s a big job, but I can handle it.”

She took a deeper breath.

>You. The captain of the guard, who need these guys to make sure you don’t get stabbed in the back.

“…Now, see, when you say it like that, it’s wrong-“

2/3

>>29209861

>So let me get this straight, there’s no collaboration between the various districts and their protectors, there’s no centralized training, there’s no meetups to at least know who everyone is, and there’s no outside agency for investigations, it’s handled by the guard itself.

“And you.”

>And me.

“I meant the royal you.”

Her hoof came up, adjusted her glasses, and she let out that deep breath.

>Ah’ didn’t. Be seeing you in a bit, don’t see me… Ah’ll come see you.

“…You know, a lot of these are pretty good ideas-“

>Ah’ know.

Her hoof tapped her desk, and before he could react he was lashed up by the plant and taken back into the hole from whence he came, on his way to be deposited back to his desk.

>And that’s why Ah’m princess.

>>29209870
...Damn, AUJ actually has some good points there.

>>29209870
We finally gonna meet everyone else who runs the military?

>>29210176
Noooooo

That's gonna require a bunch of new no-name characters or lesser used supporting cast being thrust into the role

We'd never do that, right?

Riiiiiiiight?

>>29210200
I know we're trying to ween the OC's, but couldn't we make an exception for a bunch of comedy of AUJ/AJ getting a look at non-Canterlot parts of Equestria? I mean, we kinda have to have some new characters for new places, right?

We can't do "Fillydelphia's Police' comedy without introducing him/her.

>>29209870
Give this mare an apple pie, throw on some whipped cream, too, she's earned it.

>>29209870
>Daw
"Pommel"
~~

>...So did you get ra-

"I DID NOT GET TENTACLE RAPED!"

>Awwww...

>>29210261
I think we kinda went overboard with the fear to be honest.

>Screwloose
“8-bit”
‘Gaffer’
~~~~

“Hm... sounds like there’s some kind of unholy racket going on in the castle. Hey, you guys hear that?”

>What I hear is you about two seconds from fucking up because you’re not concentrating on DON’T PUSH THE RELEASE BUTTON UNTIL I-

PRESS!

CRUNCH!

‘MY HOOF!’

“Whoa, um… ouch. Does that hurt? That looks like that hurt.”

‘YOU JUST DROPPED A NINETY POUND METAL HINDLEG ON MY HOOF!’

“Well, see, now you’re just snitching. Don't you know what happens to snitches? They get stitches, man. Is that what you want, stitches?"

>Judging by that gash he’s probably going to need stitches, actually.

‘Is… is it still attached, my hoof? I can’t feel anything, it’s all numb… please tell me it’s still there…’

>Yes, your hoof is still there. My hope for success on this assignment, however, just did a swan dive out the fucking window.

“It was a nice dive, a solid seven out of ten.”

'Wow, I'm losing lots of liquids I'm pretty sure are supposed to stay inside me....'

>Hey, Fuck-bit, do me a favor.

"It's 8-bit, boss."

>Whatever. Look, can you not be a complete braindead camel for all of seven seconds and get the first aid kit before Gabby dies of bloodloss?

'Or, alternatively, you could just let me die, that's an option that's looking better and better with each passing second....'

“Okay, boss, first off, don’t make fun of camels, camels are cool, and second… where’s the kit again?”

>…Are you kidding me? Out of all the accidents and mishaps you two chucklefucks have caused and had over the past four months you STILL need to ask that question? Seriously?

“Hey, hey, whoa! I took a wrench to the dome a couple days ago and lost thirteen weeks of my memory! It's a miracle I can even remember my way to work most days so cut me some slack, clown horse!”

>WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME-

‘JUST GET THE DAMN KIT!’

>>29210747
Cyborg or new Peacetrotter?

>Reporter
“Zecora”
‘Trixie’
___

>So here we have the illustrious and seductive shaman zebra, Zecora, and her side-kick Trixie!

‘Trixie thinks you need to recheck your facts and try that intro again.’

“No, no, let’s not waste our time, that intro will do us both just fine.”

‘But Trixie-’

>Is described as very bro-tier amongst your fans, and quite deservedly so! All of her failed attempts at magic shows and slapstick humor really stand out as something to get applause for!

‘…All of a sudden, Trixie is having seconds thoughts about agreeing to do this intervi-’

>And look at this, I even have a Trixie mug!

‘A mug... of Trixie? But she never gave her consent for- wait... does that say ‘Trixie: Best Ghost Hunter Number Six’?’

>Uh-huh!

‘There aren’t even six of us in the damn-’

>Zecora, ma’am, the potions mistress herself... there’s been much talk about who’s going to win the 29 bowl. Any thoughts?

‘Trixie is just now noticing that you never moved the mic away from her castmate even when asking Trixie ques-’

“It’s been a topic tossed around here and there, although to be fair, discussion usually gets us nowhere. We joke and we argue and sometimes we bicker, but through it all our bonds of friendship are thicker. Whoever is chosen, whether it her or me, we’ll continue as always, just wait and see. Over the course of the series, we’ve all grown so close, we fit better than my favorite pantyhose.”

>…

‘And just like that, Trixie is now extremely glad to be part of this interview. Which pantyhose is your favorite? What kinds do you even have? Tell the intrigued Trixie!’

“Oh, would you like to see? I’ve quite the collection, come and see!”

‘Lead on, Trixie will follow!’

>Hey! Hey, wait, we aren’t done with the- annnnd they’re gone. ...Should I… should I follow them? I kinda wanna know, too….

>>29211228
29 bowl? I want to know who's winning the MM bowl!

Lets face it, she's sexier.

>Guard
"Guard 2"
~~~

>...I feel like we should have saved the captain-

~SSSSLAP!~

>OW!

"You fucking moron, I've read enough porno to know where this is going and I want none of it! I'm a top! A TOP!"

>...

"Too far?"

>More like, go ooooonnn?

"...this day got better."

>>29211774
This fucking place... Its made me tolerant to some degree because I imagine things like this now.

>>29211774
Ohhh myyy~

These castle ponies get freaky fast.

>>29211228
>Even the reporter hates Trixie
>Likes Zecora
Fine taste.

Goodnight, thread

>>29212792
Night, /pa/l.