RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>29128315
Santa mare.

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The word of the day is "Faggot"

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>>29128364

>>29128315
I wanna see if ponuts are like donuts, ponk.

>>29128315
Reposting from last thread for those who missed it

>The wind is blowing gently through brittle leaves
>The sun is a brilliant red stark against the golden sky of sunset
>The sound of laughter in the distance cements the fact that this is the comfy hour
>A stretch and the pops that follow tell you that you should move from this spot
>Or at all
>But to do that you’d have to pay the price of moving
That’s just a sacrifice I’m not willing to make.

>”Cutie Mark Crusaders Lumberjanes! YAY!
>From this distance it only sounded like regular yelling.
>A glance down the hill showed the three young fillies clumsily using an ax to chop at an old tree.
>Your first instinct is to stop them, but your pure comfort makes you hesitate.
They’ll be fine, not like I didn’t play with tools as a kid.
>You think about how you and your bro Tripfag would take your dad’s tools and saw and hammer and chop with abandon.
>You then think about how many times you idiots almost maimed yourselves.
>Swallowing down the rage at the acts of heresy against comfy you’re committing you stand up and lazily jog to the girls to save them from their own idiocy.

>At about halfway down the hill a howl cuts through the near silent field.
>The wind changes and the smell of rot assaults you.
>The laughter stops and the girls seem to be cowering away from the treeline, them clearly seeing something in the shadows of the darkening woods.
>As they turn and begin to run four wooden monsters emerge from the forest.
>The fear of the unknown grips you and gives you pause
>For half a second.
>Shattering the thought about their species before it can form you sprint towards the things.
>Wielding nothing but your fists and fear.
>As you close in on the girls and the monsters you see that they aren’t any larger than an average dog.
>Collies, not Winona or any other doglets that can fit in a purse.
>You tear past the terrified fillies not sparing a glance at them.
DON’T STOP RUNNING GIRLS!

>>29128435
>You close in on the lead...thing and kick it square in its mouth.
>Luckily it isn’t as solid as it looks and it shatters into a pile of sticks, its glowing green eyes going dim.
>Taking out what appears to be the leader the wooden dogs see you as a threat.
>They growl menacingly and circle you.
>Taking the chance to look you see the panting girls on top of the hill Bloom frantically gesturing to Scoots who buzzes off on her-
>One of the braver dogs leaps to your throat in your distraction.
>You instinctively throw out a hand, catching it in the chest before it could maul you the force of your push sending it hard to the ground.

>Another takes advantage and sinks its teeth into your leg.
>Sharp pain tears up your body and you curbstomp the thing with your free leg.
>The teeth in your shin fall free but more than a couple stay embedded in your calf.
>The one you pushed away, while broken up some, is still moving.
>You quickly dispatch the thing before it could get up.
>Without the growling you can hear the steps of the other as it runs to pursue easier prey.
>The fear of the girls being hurt gives you another shot of adrenaline.
>Despite the injured leg you manage to catch up enough to grab its tail, throwing it off balance and flipping into the dirt.
>You rip the thing’s head off and throw it back towards the others.
>The body falls apart after that and the sticks lie still.

>You breathe out a massive sigh of relief.
>You look up to the girls and give them a smile and a thumbs up to let them know you’re ok.
>The smile become a pained cringe as pain explodes in your calf.
>You drop to a knee clutching your calf, wondering what happened to make it hurt even worse than it was.

>>29128315
What’s the deal with pony assplay?

>>29128437
>As another shock of pain surges through you you get your answer.
>The wooden teeth in your calf are wiggling and tearing themselves out.
>Being as close to the ground as you are you see the sticks that made up the body of the monster you just dispatched roll to the pile where you took out most of them.
>The sticks slowly build themselves up to something bigger than you.
>This was out of your fucking league.

>You try to make your way up the hill only for the pain in your leg to be overwhelming.
>The girls start to make their way down to help you.
“Stay back!,” you scream at the two brave fillies, “Hide in the barn!”
>”We can’t leave you Mr. Anon!”
>”Scootaloo is goin’ to get Aj, and ah ain’t gonna abandon you.”
>You turn to look at the thing, you can already make out it hunched back shape.
>Your terror reaches a fever pitch and morphs into anger at the girls’ disregard for their safety.
Get in the goddamn barn, NOW! Don’t fucking argue! Run! FUCKING RUN!

>Tears in their eyes, they turn and run to the barn not far from the tree you were sitting under.
>Looking for anything you can use, you spot the discarded ax and hobble to it the best you can.
>A howl that shakes the earth comes from the beast.
>You grab the ax and hold it close.
>You doubt it’ll do much but you can only hope you can hold it off long enough for someone to come get the girls out of here.
>It charges you, and to its surprise you charge it.
>Your legs are screaming at you to stop, your brain is screaming at you to turn around, and you’re just screaming.
>You have a moment to be shocked at the scream sounding like a battlecry.

>>29128444
>The wolf doesn’t expect you to run at it so it overshoots its first attempt to eat you.
>Under the thing you cock back the ax and swing with everything you have.
>It tears through the smaller branches, but gets lodged in the thicker wood at the center.
>The monster roars in pain and swats at you, knocking you away.
>You roll on the ground a few feet and faintly hear a girlish scream.
>Thanking Jesus for the fact that you caught the paw and not the wicked claws you scramble to your feet to see the wooden thing nipping at the ax in its leg.
>You clench your teeth and sprint at the thing, fresh adrenaline numbing your savaged leg as you make for its other fore leg.
>You climb up the leg, careful not to use your bloody leg to support too much weight.
>If you fall now you know you’re dead.
>Within seconds you’re on top of the thing, clutching for dear life, thankful that it isn’t paying you as much mind as the ax stuck in its leg.
>Crawling to its head you rip off the crown-like growth from its head and begin digging into its skull.
>After a few layers of loose sticks are tossed aside you see solid wood.
>With no alternatives you punch at it with all your might hoping it is thin enough to yield.
>The massive wolf takes notice and starts to shake.
>You shove your good leg a few branches deep into the wolf’s wooden body using the seemingly loose sticks to keep you anchored.
>Clutching random branches on thing’s head with your right hand you rain blows with your left.
Come on you fucking bitch.
>You do no damage, but you are able to move the wood enough to see a seam, keeping two pieces of the ‘skull’ together.
>You claw at the small seam trying to get a grip, ignoring the splinters and bleeding fingernails.
>After a bit of effort you manage to get a few fingers in it and you pull with all that you can.

> Twilight invites Anon to a cozy little family Christmas get together
> Her parents and Cadance tease her about snagging such a handsome stallion
> Twilight flatly denies that she is dating Anon, to Anon's relief
> Her parents back off, but Cadance has a crazy look in her eye
> "At least let me check your comparability."
> Twilight looks at Anon, who shrugs
> "Fine."
> Cadance fires off the spell, then sighs
> "That is the closest to nuetral I've ever seen. Sorry about the teasing before."
> Everybody shrugs, and gets back to party things
> The games are fun, the food is good, and Anon had a good time
> The end

>>29128450
>The wolf is bucking in a panic, you know you’re on the right track.
>The wood splits and opens to reveal a glowing hole.
>You look closer to see a ball of glowing black vines with glassy blue thorns coming out of it.
>Without thinking you shove your hand into the hold and grab the snake-like vines.
>Sharp pain engulfs your hand, as it feels like you’re clutching a ball of burning razors.
>You pull again, sore arm protesting the strain.
>You yank at it again and again, holding fast despite your hand being slick with blood.
>With one final heave you free the mass from the wolf.
>In an instant the beast grows still.
>Within seconds it collapses.
>You tumble down still holding the thing’s ‘brain’ fearful that it’ll rise again if you don’t.

>Looking you see the girls emerge from the barn
>Casting your eyes down you see that the mass is still pulsing with light and life
>”Oh my gosh, Mr Anon!”
Fire.
>”Whut? Anon, we need to get you to the hos-
>Petting the yellow filly with your good hand, you smile as if you weren’t suffering from blood loss and exhaustion.
Get me some fire Applebloom.
>The girl’s eyes are puffy and tearful.
>”Alright, just please be alright. Ok.”
Ok Bloom, don’t worry. Sweets will keep me company, right Sweets?
>The white filly clutches your leg, heedless of the dirt and dried blood, and merely nods.
>Applebloom runs back to the farm, and is back a few moments later with a kerosine lantern in her teeth.
>You think its kerosine, probably some magic bullshit or something.
>Taking the lantern from her with one hand you carefully lift the glass and pull the burning wick out.
Hold this Sweetie.
>The crying filly holds the burning wick in her magic as you lift the lantern and pour the fuel onto the remains of the beast’s head.
>Gently grabbing the wick from the emerald magic you toss it onto the wet wood.
>The flames start high and hot.

>>29128315
>Stallions tend to think anal is gross and don't like the idea of putting their dick in a place where poop comes from
>Anon has no such resistance to the idea
>Anon's marefriend is very pleased
>Walks funny in such a way that isn't generally seen unless it's the mare's birthday
>Gets knowing looks and hoof-bumps from other mares

>>29128456
>Walking to where the ax lays still embedded in the remains of the leg, you grab it with one arm and hold down the thick limb with a leg.
>It comes out cleanly and you walk back to where the head was and poked at the sticks about it to get the fire going strong.

>After a bit of time the fire is roaring.
>You glance at the ball of pain in your hand, and toss it into the flames.
>It lets lose a high pitched screech and a series of pops as the fluids within boil and escape.
I hope to God almighty that you can feel that you fucking bitch.

>Kicking the ‘crown’ onto its side you sit and watch the macabre bonfire, with the girls.
>The loss of adrenaline and the dull pain of your wounds remind you that they’re there.
>Tearing a bit of your surprisingly intact shirt you make a quick bandage for your hand and leg.
>Once you’re done Applebloom moves to lay her head on your thigh, where you rest your bandaged hand.
>Sweetie Belle crawls up and clutches your neck murmuring apologies and thanks.
>”Holy bucking Celestia...”
>You turn to see the girls
>Applebloom gets up and runs to hug her sister, staying by her side but keeping an eye on the burning monster.
>The mares are all wearing shocked faces except for a heavily panting Scootaloo, who is being held in Rainbow’s arms
>”Th-they were all at the library, but I got them. You should’ve seen how fast I was Rainbow Dash!”
>”Yeah kiddo fastest filly in Ponyville.”
>”Twilight, i-is that…?”
>”I can’t believe it either Starlight, that’s an alpha timber wolf.”

>A short laugh escapes your lips.
>Nothing here is named without being a fucking pun.
>”Sweetie Belle! What happened?!”, Rarity almost screams in a blind panic for her sister.
>”I’m alright Rarity, this isn’t my blood”.

>>29128461
>Only now do you notice the small streaks of blood on the filly’s face from when she hugged your leg earlier.
>Even with her assurance, Rarity still runs up to check out Sweetie.
>Blue magic pulls off flecks of dried blood as the keen eyed mare inspects her sister for any wounds.
>Once sure her sister is ok, Rarity looks at your battered and bloody body with a strange look in her eye.
>Before she can say anything Fluttershy is already hovering over your shoulder.
>”Oh no, you’re badly hurt, and these bites need to be disinfected. Timberwolf mouths are filled with many harmful bacteria.”
>She grips your arm to lift you, but you don’t yield.
It’ll have to wait, I’m not going anywhere until this son of a bitch is nothing but ashes.
>She looks you in the eyes.
>You don’t waver.
>Turning she flies over to Rainbow and lifts Scootaloo out of her arms.
>”Rainbow, fly to my cottage as fast as you can. I don’t care if you have to break open the window, tell Angel ‘code green’ and bring back the parcel he gives to you. Go!”
>No argument was brooked or given as Dash streaked off, with nothing but a trail of color telling of her passing.
>”Darling, I cannot thank you enough for keeping my sister safe. I will do any- no everything you need for me to try to repay you.”
>You can’t help but smile.
>You did good.
>Damn good.
>Your ancestors must be proud as fuck.
>Taking a quick glance over your ruined outfit, you already know.
I just need a new shirt and pants, and we’ll call it square.

>She opens her mouth to say something, but she decides otherwise and closes her mouth and takes on a very determined looks and nods curtly.
>So you just sit and endure the throbbing pain in your body as you watch the m- timber wolf burn.

>>29128465
>A shirt and pants.
>That is what he wanted.
>Battles an alpha timberwolf with nothing but an ax and courage.
>A battle that by all rights he should have lost.
>Saves the lives of your sister and her two best friends and all he asks for is for a shirt and pants.

>He is a knight, from Gran gran’s old stories.
>He is the most noble hearted stallion that you have ever known, real or imaginary.
>A prince in deed and valor.
>You feel a new wave of disgust thinking back to the attentions you paid Blueblood, and Trenderhoof.
>Useless pretty boys with nothing in their hearts besides bits and vanity.
>You take a bolt of cloudcloth down and cut a large square from it.
>It doesn’t matter if it costs 100 bits per yard.
>He is worth it.
>He is worth it and so much more.
>A dozen needles dance in the air as you bring life to your vision.
>No sewing machines for this one.
>Every stitch shall be horn-crafted.
>You will replicate his t-shirt and jeans stitch by stitch.
>Only crafted from the most comfortable materials money can buy.
>Then you shall see where inspiration takes you.
>If it takes you your whole life, and every bit that MAN will know the extent of your gratitude.

>>29128322
>BigAnon in RGREquestria
>Anon cannot fit indoors because they are too small for him
>Can carry a pony around with one hand
>Half he mares in town are worried that he's homeless
>The other half are silently curious about how big his dick must be

>tfw Anon's dick is too big for sex
>tears are shed
>"If that thing wouldn't literally split me in half, I'd ride it like Celestia wasn't going to raise the sun tomorrow."
>Teenaged mares joke about it - "If I had to pick a way to die..."

>>29128453
>"...One?"
>Cadence's features twist into confusion as her horn lights up to cast the spell again.
>You glance down at Twilight, feeling a little bit curious (and slightly concerned) over Cadence's reaction.
"What does 'one' mean?" you stage-whisper to your friendly acquaintance.
>Twilight shrugs helplessly (but you didn't miss that spark of curiosity in her eyes) and stage-whispers back.
>"I don't kn-"
>"One again?!"
>You look back up, startled, and find Cadence pawing at the ground angrily.
>"That's not how the spell even goes!"
>"Cadence?" asks Twilight, approaching her former foalsitter, "Wouldn't that mean that Anonymous and I are extremely incompatible?"
>Cadence shakes her head in frustration.
>"No, not at all." She aims her horn over at Twilight's parents, who are currently drinking wine and chatting happily with each other.
>"Watch this."
>Her horn glows once more as she casts her compatability spell at Velvet and Night Light.
>Magic coalesces in front of Cadence, forming a group of numbers.
>They say "0.913"
>"See?" asks Cadence, gesturing to the numbers with a hoof as they begin to fade away, "The spell's supposed to give me a zero, then a dot, and then the actual compatibility number. But when I cast it on you..."
>She does her love-magic stuff on you and Twilight again, and once more, numbers appear in front of her.
>"See? It just says '1'. No zero, no dot; no nothing."
>You feel your heart skip a beat when you realize that Cadence's spell spits out a number in decimal form that's expressed as a percentage.

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>>29128523
Cute mathematics?
Truly a Christmas miracle.

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I know it was said in the previous thread, but Merry Christmas you guys. I love you even when you're being a bunch of motherfuckers.

>>29128460
>>29128440
Single DadAnon has a little of that. Shukaku20 does a good job luring you in with lewds right at the start to hook you, and then not having more until near the end.
http://pastebin.com/1hAjUL8q


>>29128471
I really like this story, enough that I want to critique.
The action bit is all pretty good. Maybe could use a specific line about how much stronger the adrenaline response is when protecting children instead of just your own life.
Rarity's reaction at the end is the main thing worth talking about.
It'd be better if it were more subtle. Like she hasn't consciously realized that he's impressed her so much her feelings have turned amorous or romantic. It makes a bigger impression on a reader to undergo that journey instead of just having the end result handed to them.
I'd go with more description of her direct reactions instead of her thoughts about how she feels. Something like heart pounding and feeling flushed when when she thinks of him.
Mention that the cloth is extremely expensive and she uses it without hesitation, without belaboring it after. It seems even more impressive when she'll do it without consciously deciding he's worth it, and there's just no question to be had.
Instead of thinking of other suitors with disgust, a line with a theme like she isn't even sure why she's thinking of other suitors, but boy don't they suddenly look super drab now? Weird, huh?
Here's a rough idea, and I even managed to tie in a gem theme:
>Your thoughts keep turning to Blueblood and Tenderhoof and all the types of stallions you used to chase, and somehow they seem diminished, like glass jewels that scratched and lost their luster from abrasion, compared to a diamond that's only been polished by its trials.

>>29128523
Had an idea
> Twilight frowns
> "What about Anon, and say Shining Armor?"
> Cadance raises an eyebrow
> "I can try it. Might have to talk to you about your special interests later, though."
> Twilight blushes
> Cadance casts the spell
> "One again! Maybe I should talk to Shining about his interests..."
"I'm betting I get a one with everyone."
> Cadance frowns
> "This shouldn't be possible, but I might as well try."
> You get a one with everypony, and even Spike
> Cadance is muttering like a crazy person, so you pat her withers
"Relax, I'm a hypermutable extradimensional avatar. I am supposed to be able to get along with whoever is necessary for the purposes of my controller."
> Everypony sighs in relief
> Twilight rolls her eyes
> "Why didn't you say so earlier?"
> You stare in an arbitrary direction, through the lines of green characters
"Because I know my place."

>>29128624
Too meta imo

Lets make a noght before Christmas green!
>Twas the night before Christmas.
>And all through the thread.
>Not a creature was stirring.
>Exempt for durnk.
>He was chasing a mouse.

>>29128397
don't be talking shit on Christmas, anon. That's an early start on coal for next year

>>29128471
Yes, yes I liked thing very much. Very much indeed.

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>>29128523
Hah

continue

>>29128899
>Because the mouse had Durnk's Cheese

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>You are Anon.
>You were once a resident of Equestria (and before that, a resident of Earth) and just a few weeks ago, Twilight Sparkle told you that she had found a way for you to return home.
>"It's full of humans!" she had told you.
>What she had failed to inform you of, however, was that this new Earth had cities named "Marehatten" and "Las Pegasus", and that the school the portal had opened nearby was called "Canterlot High".
>You swear to god, this genius bookworm can be so stupid sometimes.
>Not only that, but going through the portal turned you into some kind of teenager, and it seems as though you'll be staying like that for the duration of your stay.
>Twilight says that the portal will open in a couple of months, so you're stuck here pretending to be a student until then.
>It seems as though the women are even /MORE/ aggressive here than they were in Equestria.
>If you thought it was bad there, well...

>"Mister Anonymous?"
>A shadow looms over you from behind, darkening your piss-easy homework; It seems as though Principal Celestia is paying you another visit.
>Before you have a chance to turn around, the shadow momentarily grows larger, and then you feel something warm resting on top of your head.
>Or rather, two warm somethings resting on top of your head.
>Two firm hands grip your shoulders and give them a squeeze, kneading and rubbing in a very intimate manner.
>"What are you doing out of class, Mister Anonymous?"
>Celestia's soft breasts vibrate slightly as she speaks, allowing you to not only hear, but /FEEL/ what she's saying to you.

>>29129628
"I-I... It's my free period right now, Principal Celestia..."
>Celestia's hands tighten on your shoulders and she lets out a couple of disappointed "tsk"s.
>"Not according to the schedule /I/ have."
>Her hands move from your shoulders down to your biceps, which she begins to stroke lovingly.
>The firmness and the slight jerkiness of her actions gives you the impression that she's trying to hold herself back.
>"Report to my office in five minutes, Mister Anonymous."
>The warm pressure on top of your head disappears, but her hands remain.
>You can suddenly hear her throaty breaths, and feel their hot warmth on your earlobe.
>"I want to taste you again." she whispers, excitement and desire in her hushed voice.
>With a lingering lick on the neck to remember her by, Principal Celestia lets go of you and walks out of the library.
>Y-You think you need an adult.

No femdom here; just Anon being distinctly uncomfortable having sex while in a teenager's body

>>29129628
>>Before you have a chance to turn around, the shadow momentarily grows larger, and then you feel something warm resting on top of your head.
>>Or rather, two warm somethings resting on top of your head.
>>Two firm hands grip your shoulders and give them a squeeze, kneading and rubbing in a very intimate manner.
>>"What are you doing out of class, Mister Anonymous?"
>>Celestia's soft breasts vibrate slightly as she speaks, allowing you to not only hear, but /FEEL/ what she's saying to you.
ultimate coziness

>>29129628
>>29129642
I would like to subscribe to this good or service.

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>>29129642
>just Anon being distinctly uncomfortable having sex while in a teenager's body
In what world, my nigga?

>>29129711
how much in control of your body were you as a teen?
How comfortable were you with your body as a teen?

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>>29129628
>>29129642
This is the exact same premise as the siren story but with Celestia switched in.

>>29129779
Not quite, the sirens didn't hold authority over anon, and couldn't abuse that power.

>>29129795
Except for their superior physical strength.
Hell, Anon has even less reason to not fug Celly and the siren story had a pretty shitty reason.

>>29128784
>>29128624

No, this shallowness displeases the meta-chaos gods.

http://pastebin.com/mxmna2M7

HIGH IMPACT IMPERIAL VIOLENCE
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>>29129851

It's a small update really, but I got distracted by Christmas.

>You awaken with your las rifle /firmly/ gripped in your hands.
>You cannot feel your hands.
>You sit up and drag your rifle toward you.
>This results in an obligatory:
“Sweet mother of the FUCKING EMPEROR’S TITS.”
>You lay yourself back down and take a deep breath.
>You're not dead, you're not restrained.
>Did you survive the Incursion?
>You take your vice grip off of the rifle and begin wiggling your fingers.
>They slowly turn redder and redder.
>You take the moment to look under the sheets as to why your thighs hurt so much.
>You've got white gauze wrapped around your thighs.
>Except it's not white.
>It's red.
“What the hell did I do to myself?”
>A door on the other side of the room swings open.
>”I can actually answer that, sir.”
>It's a white horse.
>You fall back on the bed and bring your hands to your face.
“What's even happening with my life, tiny xenos horses?”
>”What was that, sir?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
>You wave your hand in a nonchalant manner.
“But why are my legs so fucked up?”
>”Well, sir, after we removed your clothes, and socks, how scandalous, we ascertained that you had shaved a few layers of skin off of your legs.”
“Right. Right. You took off my clothes? All of them?”
>”Don’t make it sound like that. We had to treat your wound, we can't have infection setting in.”
>She blushes and bats a hoof.
>You have an internal struggle between ‘Hey, that's kinda cute’ and ‘FILTHY XENOS’.
>It cancels out within you.
“Can I have those back? I don't like being ass naked. Especially in front of xenos.”
>You mutter the last part.
>”You can, but they seem to be destroyed for the most part. Though the more solid wither pad barrel thing seems fine.”
“Alright. It would be nice if you got them for me… Ma’am.”
>You force politeness into your speech for added urgency.

>>29129863
>”Unfortunately, we have to keep you at the hospital for a while longer, to make sure the infection doesn't set and to put more salve on your wounds one last time.”
“Great. What's your name, xeno horse?”
>”I am Nurse Redheart, though you can call me Red if you want.”
>She winks and continues.
>”What's your name?”
“Sergeant Anonymous.”
>“Ooooh, a military title. I have to step out for a bit, but in the meantime, I can send in the pony that brought you to the hospital, she seems worried to death.”
“Fine. Send her in.”
>You sigh and wave your hand again.
>They’re xenos, but you remember something about if the xenos help mankind that you don't exterminate them.
>You think.
>You only went to church because it was mandatory.


>Around a minute later a yellow horse with a pink mane stalks in.
>She looks meek and demure.
>”You fell down and passed out, A-and I brought you to the hospital. I-I didn't do anything to you, I promise.”
>You stare at her for a solid minute.
>That last sentence made you suspicious.
“Did you put a tracker thingamajig in me?”
>”A-a what? I didn't put anything any you, I’d never take advantage of a stallion like that!”
>She whisper shouted that.
>You squint your eyes harder at her.
“Right… I suppose I should say thanks for bringing me to a hospital.”
>”Oh, ummm, you're welcome?”
>She shrinks back a bit as the intense intensity of your eyes intensely intensifies.
“Yeahhhh. You can go now.”
>You swat your hand at her and she starts.
>With a semi-scared concerned look she leaves the room.
>You bring your hands to your face again.
>You've been sent to a land of friendly xenos.
>The preacher said it would be worse than what you've experienced.
>Though you doubt what the priest said was just lies.
>All you've seen is a hospital, after all.
>It could get a lot worse.

>>29129865
Boring exposition!

What was up with the other thread?

>>29129870
http://pastebin.com/k5k7J8hb

Also, here's a pastebin.

>>29129733
This has nothing to do with having sex while a teenager.

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>>29129863
>>You awaken with your las rifle /firmly/ gripped in your hands.

>>29129733
I legitimately don't understand your point.

>>29130037
>>29130016
I think the idea is twofold:

In a teenager's body there's bound to be a kind of dysphoric "this isn't my body, my body wasn't still growing if nothing else" kind of feeling; plus exposed to a teenager's hormones they're going to be more emotionally unstable than they would've been in early twenties maybe.

Plus; her leveraging her institutional authority over him would make him uncomfortable, despite the fact that if that weren't an issue, he would've dived in with both hands.

>>29130091
sounds like projecting

I had to copy over this post because of how much I loved it.

>>29127866
It was funny before, but this really pushed it over the edge. That's comedy genius.
The ludicrous things that Celestia just randomly makes up about Earth and "my native race: humans". Anon just being incredibly pissed off when he tries to prove he's not Celestia by trying to make the sun set, and then it does.
It's never completely clear if the world is actually this bizarre, or if it's an elaborate prank for Celestia to blow off steam and maybe hit on Twilight some.

Somebody else's reply to the same:

>Luna just sighs and goes with it.
>This isn't as bad as Celestia's Caligula phase.
>Anon is given his own tiara and golden horse shoes to wear over his current shoes.

>>29130102
Now I'm the confused one. This is just my interpretation of why the writefag is writing the story the way he is:

>>29129642
>No femdom here; just Anon being distinctly uncomfortable having sex while in a teenager's body

I don't see where projection comes into it.
The way I see it, some people don't understand why this would be an issue for anyone; some people (me) don't feel it but do understand; and some people (like the author) feel it.

reposting cause the thread died right after, I'm thinking of writing a rgre piece with lots of /tg/ in it.would you guys prefer Equestria HyperSpace HyperWars or Equestria Girls with actual Warhammer?

>>29130272
Hyperspace Hyperwars please. We've had our fills of EqG greens already.

>>29130272
Hyperspace wars. Even as a EQG fan, there is almost no hyperspace wars content, and I would like to see it.

>>29130105
Thanks! You saved me some copy pasting of those posts.

>>29130105
>Months later, after a lot of Anon running the country far better than Celestia.
>Celestia has had numerous adventures being a "human".
>Anon notices he has a paper plate with Celestia's cutie mark stuck to his ass the whole time.
"I really got to buy more pants."
>The moment he peels it off, everyone figures out that he's not Celestia.
>Or maybe they don't?
>"Celestia! You were a smoking hot stallion all this time?"
>Ponies are stupid.

That Sun and Twi story from LaP have a name or pastebin?

>>29128440
fuck off Jerry

>>29130473
Golden Opportunities.
http://pastebin.com/u/LaPsbin

>>29130495
Kay, thanks.

>>29128315
>ywn live in rgre
>ywn be accosted by Highwaymares on the road to Canterlot
>ywn never be dragged back to their camp as they whoop and holler about their new stallion slave
>ywn be locked in a small room with a hole in the wall just large enough for a pony butt to fit through
>ywn never be forced to fill a daily quota of asses eaten to earn your supper
>this will never be considered a legal grey area since humans don't necessarily have the same rights as ponies
>Celestia will never appoint up and coming rising star attorney Miranda Brief to find a legal loophole to free you from your life of eating ass
>Brief will never spend days agonizing over the details of your case, studying precedent, paying stallions to eat her ass, all to free you from your bondage
>she'll never have a breakthrough and win by arguing that since you had a part time job on a farm, you were legally considered livestock, which are protected by bestiality laws
>ywn will never celebrate with Celestia and Brief as the judge sentences the Highwaymares to six months of ass eating in pony jail
>ywn tongue their ponuts to show your appreciation for their help
>ywn accidently get Princess Celestia thrown in jail for bestiality

It hurts

>>29130533
thanks for the literal shitpost

>>29130533
> Only ever eating ass
> Never supplying dick
Suspension of disbelief broken.

Anon&Celestia writefag here

I threw the "no femdom, just teenage bullshit" thing at the bottom because I couldn't think of a way off-hand to explain why Anon was apprehensive about fucking Celestia. It was basically a throw-away excuse that I picked from a hat.

>>29131028
That's fair I guess.

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>>29131028
Get back to writing or I'll have you executed!

>>29131028
Fair enough.

Why have him apprehensive about it at all?
Why not make so handsy Celestia gets worried someone will find out because of the inappropriate touching in populated areas?

>>29131060
Sorry Anon, not until tomorrow.

>>29131091
idk. I just wanted there to be a "stranger danger" thing.

>>29131161
There can be.
It's Celestia stranger dangering.

>>29130329
>no hyperspace wars content
We had a legit fantastic green a long time ago but it was dumped because (I think) some canons bitched about the choices of herd members.

>>29129779
her smile and optimism gone.

>>29130533
>ywn be a highwaymare
>ywn ride along the coach roads
>ywn take stallion's baubles for your trade
>ywn shed guardsmare's blood upon your blade
>ywn be caught and hung in the spring
>ywn still be alive

>>29131389
Made me think of this for some reason.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc2zh2BM5ko

>>29129733
Are you a special child? Because having a young body and fucking another persons young body, are two very different things.

>>29129865
>They’re xenos, but you remember something about if the xenos help mankind that you don't exterminate them.
>You think.
>You only went to church because it was mandatory.
I think this is the first time I have ever heard an imperial citizen remember that rule out loud...and they weren't a raving lunatic/heretic.

>>29129902
Fuck yeah, saving this.

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>>29130091
>>29130123
You have that reversed bud, being in a teenagers body, that is your own body by the way, does not make it weird to have sex. What your missing is the fact that a grown ass man is now attractive (relatively) to what is essentially children compared to his actual age. Not getting into the older woman actually holding power(however temporary), how you managed to make the dumbest leap in logic while missing the point of the problem is frankly amazing. What this guy is talking about >>29130102 is not the whole, Celestia is a authority figure with power over you(though it is a valid concern) its the fact that your dumbass thinks that the problem was being in a teenagers body and in highschool. Its not the act of having sex while being young again that's the issue, its being young and trying to hold off on fucking the teenage girls around him that was the issue. I am having a very hard time not just calling you a fucking moron for misinterpreting something like this so badly. I am genuinely curious as to how you thought this out.
>>29129733
This has absolutely no regard to the fact that Anon's mind is fully grown. His outer appearance is, for all intents an purposes, just younger. It would change absolutely nothing else otherwise. I am flabbergasted at the sheer stupidity with which you thought this was the problem>>29129733. Were you drinking before you posted?

>>29131389
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFkcAH-m9W0

>In Equestria, reincarnation is the norm
>Most have no memory of their past lives
>A small few see flashes of their previous experiences
>Even fewer remember more

>>29131028
Okay then, just ignore this unless you want to answer it then>>29131547

>>29131181
I'm not him, but I'm using this as an opportunity to write something I'd been meaning to since this EQG bullshit started popping up in these threads

>Be Celestia.
>Today you had little time to go out and buy lunch, so instead you have resorted to simply picking yours up from the school’s cafeteria.
>You’re not incredibly happy about this, considering that, although you try your hardest to keep the school to the highest standard it can be, it is still a public school.
>And that, unfortunately, means the food it serves is one step above prison food.
>But no matter, it isn’t unhealthy in any way, just substandard, and you’re on a time budget anyway.
>So, here you stand, waiting on line with the like many of your students are, waiting for your meal.
>You could cut ahead, but then you wouldn’t really be able to keep up that reputation of being the “cool” principal, would you?
>”Ah, you’re stuck here too, huh?” a masculine voice says from behind you.
>You turn around to see the literature and creative writing teacher, Mr. Anonymous, standing behind you, holding a thermos with a biohazard decal facing outwards.
>This, combined with the conservative attire that looks like he just plucked it out from his closet and tossed it on, makes him look strangely lax.
>You don’t like saying this aloud often, but you are honestly quite nervous around Mr. Anon.
>Like Dr. Discord, a mathematics teacher who also works at your school, Mr. Anon is known for his… eccentricities.
>Yet unlike Dr. Discord, whose eccentricities stem from a mischievous streak paired with a brilliant mind that is applied to wild and destructive pranking, Mr. Anon is, well…
>In his job interview, he looked you dead in the eye and said, to quote him exactly, “A magical horse princess pulled me through the third and fourth dimensions, and when I told her I wasn’t a demonic fuckbuddy she slapped my ass through a magic mirror and into this hellhole.”

>>29131643

>You thought he was trying to impress you with his creative abilities to get a job as a teacher here in the English program.
>You should have known that there was something wrong when he was surprised he got a job as a teacher, and not a janitor.
>But, you’re willing to take risks to get your lovely students the best teachers, and you’ve found that the strangest of individuals do also at times have the greatest knowledge to share, so you gave him the job.
>That and, frankly, someone has to give shelter to all the strange, but well-meaning individuals the world seems to churn out.
>”Uh… Principal Celestia, you alright?”
>You snap out of your thoughts with a blink, hoping that he wasn’t too put off by what must have been a good minute of staring at him.
“Why, yes Mr. Anonymous, I am quite fine.”
>You glance at his thermos.
“Is that… c-coffee mixed with bleach, again?”
>”Yep,” Mr. Anon declared simply, before taking a sip, maintaining eye contact the entire time.
“If I may, why is it you lace your coffee with bleach?”
>It was a question that has been bothering you for a long time, but at the same time you dread the answer.
>”I read a fanfiction online that said it calms nerves.”
“I s-see,” you pause, awkwardly. “And has that been working for you?”
>”I’m not dead yet,” he puts out in his usual blunt manner.
>Contrary to his bleach-drinking habits, you have legitimately never seen the man get sick, even during the tampon incident with a Miss Rarity and a Miss Gilda.
>He is, at least on the surface, the exemplary calm, powerful, paternal figure, which makes him such a good teacher here.
>Even with his… quirks.
>”So, why are you here?”
>Once again, you blink away from your thoughts.
“Paperwork seems to have piled up on me, and I’m afraid because of that I don’t have enough time to drive out to the diner I usually order lunch from.”

>>29131653

>”Ah, sucks,” he says, bringing up the thermos to his lips and taking another sip. “I would’ve made myself lunch last night, but that would’ve meant I’d have to have gotten up from the couch.”
>You give him a polite smile, and take a step backwards from him, catching up to your spot in the slow-moving line.
>As he moves to follow, a girl composed of a garish mish-mosh of colors kicks the cafeteria doors down.
>”Students of Canterlot High!” she bellows.
>”Fuck not again,” says Mr. Anon, as she begins to rant and rave about some magical artifact she’s found, buried within the depths of the school’s boiler room.
>You would have had this place swept for magic devices if it weren’t for the fact that this problem is strictly confined to your school, and no such companies for magic removal exist in quite the same manner as pest extermination or trash collection.
>”Hey, hold my bleach for a bit,” Mr. Anon quietly requests of you, as he presses his lukewarm thermos into your left hand.
>You comply wordlessly, gripping the thermos and allowing yourself to stare in stunned silence at the girl loudly spouting lunacy that is probably entirely true, right in the middle of the cafeteria, while Mr. Anon moves off to the edges of the cafeteria.
>”And so,” the girl begins her conclusion just as you notice movement behind her.
>“Behold the might of—“ she is cut off as Mr. Anon brings a fire extinguisher down onto her head, knocking her unconscious to the floor with a thud that echoes through the otherwise silent cafeteria.
>Still holding a cool expression, as though nothing particularly wrong has happened here beyond a minor inconvenience, he leans down and heaves up the comatose girl over his shoulder and into a fireman’s carry.
>The students inside the cafeteria remains entirely silent as Mr. Anon makes his way over to you, footsteps making muted clicks against the shining floor tiles until he stands in front of you once again.

>>29131657
>”Thanks for that,” he says as he gently plucks his thermos from your grip, “I’m going to go get her to the nurse, hopefully she’ll bandage her up and she’ll be all good just like the last one.”
>And that is the main reason why Mr. Anonymous frightens you so.
>He has no tolerance for what he perceives as “bullshit.”
>And “murderous magic mumbo-jumbo” is definitely high on his list of things he defines as bullshit.
>Misses Cheerilee moves up to you, from her position further along the line.
>”Have you ever had one of those moments where you’re really scared and weirded out, but also uncomfortably aroused?” Cheerilee, one of your most rational and collected teachers asks you.
>”I have,” you respond without hesitation. “Quite frequently, as of late.”

>>29131643
EQG is good. Suck it.

>>29131679
I have no real comments on it's worth, or that it's showing up in this thread, just that it's bullshit like anything else in the universe is.

>>29131643
>>You turn around to see the literature and creative writing teacher, Mr. Anonymous
aww
hes not a student

>>29131697
If he isn't transformed into a poner in horseland, then why not keep him his own age in highschool-land?

>>29131695
Uh...okay then?

>>29131661
That was Kek worthy.

>>29131661
I really like the way he handles bullshit. A shining example of what we should all strive to be.

>>29131703
Not that anon but I could probably pass for a highschool student.

>>29131717
Me too. Probably.

I grow a lot of facial hair, so only a senior most likely.

>>29131643
I am liking this already.

>>29131661
Oh thank god, an Anon with a brain.

>>29131661
That was pretty enjoyable, metacompetetant anon is a rare breed. Got a pastebin?

>>29131764
Nah, I just post snippets occasionally, but if I have a story that spirals out of control, or finally start one of the bigger concepts I've been playing with, I'll make a pastebin.

>>29131717
>tfw you're 21 but nobody ever cards you for smokes or beer
Feels... Good? Man?

>>29128315
>You turn to look a the other 5 girls
"So, apparently pinkie doesnt want t be eaten out in ways normal stallions would never touch you... the rest of you still down for it?"
>It is at this moment pinkie realizes she done fucked up
>Its also at this moment that everyone else realizes that if they say anything, they could lose this opportunity.
>Trying to worm her way out of this
>"Nonny, I never said there was anything worng with eating ass"
>You smile
"Good, you can help me, I have seen how big your tongue is"

Tfw you will never be anon who over time gets the mane 6 and eventually other ponies you find fun and attractive to to play for both teams
Tfw you will never have a massive orgy with every pony doing anything that made each other fell good
Tfw you will never get a high hoof from celestia for going above and beyond her debauchery in the past, the day that it dawns on her as she had been making out with luna without ever questioning the situation

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>>29131558
>For most ponies, past life memories manifest only as deja vu sensations or a vague interest in a historical period
>Others carry over traits from their old personalities
>Fluttershy, for example, has a certain resemblance to her old life as Ragna Hairy-Ponut

>>29128624
>Be 7 lines from the bottom
"Hey cadance, we are in canterlot, where is blue blood, surely I can't be compatible with him."
>Like a bat out of hell, she grabs you in her aura and runs to the nearest High class christmas party
>You find it, and in that special awkward corner, you find blue blood
>Not many ponies around him, it seems like there are around 20 ponies close who you hear shit talking him, and they swap out with ponies who have been talking to him for a while
>"Can you bucking believe what that faggot is saying?"
>You hear one say, not even hiding his annoyance
>But blue blood is so fucking self absorbed, he doesn't notice the rotation of ponies.
>Before he can say a word, he is magiced by shipit and sat next to you
>She fires up the spell
>0.617
>The hell does that mean?
"The hell does that mean?"
>Candy, looking much more relieved
>"It means that you two could get along, 5 is neutral, 6+ is friend, 7+ is best friend/fuck buddy territory, 8+ is love, 9+ is soul mate levels"
"And one is you hug it and never let go?"
>"And kill all who try to take you appart"
>Well...
"So... That mean I should try and make equestria's biggest herd with you as a barometer deciding if they are good enough to get with me, and who they should hang out with?
>Its like cadence just found out her cutie mark and that she would be the princess of love and lost her v card all at once.
>Tears flow from her eyes
>"You... you understand the situation so well... no wonder we are so compatible"

>That night, at the small sparkle christmas get together was the most awkward orgy ever thrown, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

>>29128475
Anon starts up a side business of offering single male bukakke sessions to mares of pequilar intrest, along with cumbaths.

Thanks to anon, mares with weird fetishes and tastes will not go unsatisfied

In later years, as a thank you, a bunch of his clients get luna twilight and celestia to use their magic to levitate them, and lube them up, they all hold hooves being a living multi pony fleshlight. Anon cums and hits celestia with an arc through the air. A new customer is born.

Celestia also is the first pony to not be ripped in two thanks to a new extreme stretch spell. A whole new wave of clients come to anon for service by him and his now wife celestia.

They are labeled king and queen of fetish

>>29130420
Celeistia just paid off all the ones that could screw this up for her good enough to play dumb, but not that anon can prove it as she used her personal funds.

>>29131661
A new type of fetish?

>>29131547
I dunno how to help you man.
Perhaps slow down, take a calming drink, and consider that what you perceive as stupidity is in fact an artifact of the limitations of your own faculties?

Generically, perhaps one of the most useful mental tools of growing up is the understanding that people can come to different conclusion and make different predictions than you because they have a different basis of information. Sure, sometimes that base might be less, or ever a subset of what you know, and sometimes it's vice versa, but a lot of times it could simply be different.

So let's be sure we're talking about the same thing, which is "why is the character uncomfortable in regards to sex,"
Your theses seem to be:
>being in a teenagers body... does not make it weird to have sex.
and:
>trying to hold off on fucking the teenage girls around him that was the issue.
you've written more, but most of it is some variation on "I super duper think I'm right and you're wrong", which I hope you'll forgive me for not finding especially convincing.
For the second point, there's nothing about that in the greentext, so I'm really not sure why you're bringing it up.
For the other: we're discussing fiction. Unless there's been some really strange advances in science while I wasn't paying attention, we don't have anything like factual data about how this kind of transformation would affect a human being. I simply think that it'd be reasonable to expect a person suddenly shunted into a body with a very different internal chemical world to experience discomfort and strangeness.

Maybe a big part of it is how far removed we each are from being teenagers. I'll turn 29 in about half a year. I would certainly place my bet on it being very uncomfortable to suddenly somehow still being me, but otherwise in the body I had when I was 16.
But if you're closer to 16 (and maybe transformed your body less in that gap) I can see how it'd be a less alarming prospect.

>>29131785
>Nobody cared about my ID until I shaved off the beard.

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>>29132101
Rhymes even in sadness.

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>>29128475

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>>29129865
>She shrinks back a bit as the intense intensity of your eyes intensely intensifies.

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Male liberation is a codeword for female oppression! Remember the Crystal Empire, keep your colts barehoof and in the kitchen!

>>29132227
>the crystal empire wasnt actually bad celestia and luna where just ass blasted that they had a bigger economy and was lead by a male
>they ended up destroying there economy and releasing black magic on the place that fucks over what ever his name is and turns him evil

>Crystal empire
>Human Duh
>Fuck every crystal mare
>Became King of Music

>>29132357
Sounds legit.

>>29132387
>King of Music
I'm sorry what?

>>29132397
They body's crystal
They have sound effect.

>>29132401
So it’s like strumming a water filled glass… with your cock.

>>29132410
Just what?

>>29132410
That right.

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>>29132410

>>29131816
>"St-Stop~" mutters Octavia, wriggling gently in your grasp and staring at the floor, "It's so... so dirty..."
>You squeeze her hoof gently and she just barely stifles a gasp.

>>29132410
>lels teh randum XDDD

>>29132136
Jesus Christ, dem thighs.

>>29132703
If you partially fill a thin walled glass like a wine glass with water and run your finger along the rim, it will play a note. The note will change depending on the amount of water in the glass.

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RGRE, you were good all this year, weren't you?

>>29132997
Niice. I'd make some small helpers with her.

>>29133013
Really makes you think, who pulls the sleigh?

>>29133018
The reindeer get paid by the hour.

>>29132997
Depends. Will Santa Mare come down my chimney (ladies) and punish me for being a naughty boy? If she won't, then fuck it, fine, I guess I was good.

>Individual entries from our favourite mares about how good/bad they've been
>Lyra talks about how she went down to the beach with big dark sunglasses to oggle colts' groin bulges only a couple of times
>Rarity admits to maybe taking the measurements of stallion's rumps more often than she needed to/"lost" their measurements and had to take them over and over again
>Twilight talks about how she set up a magic book with Anon so that they could talk about his species. She made it so that it vibrates when Anon sends her a message, and she would frequently sit on it while talking to Anon.

>>29133023
Yeah right.

>>29133024
>>Rarity admits to maybe taking the measurements of stallion's rumps more often than she needed to/"lost" their measurements and had to take them over and over again

>FatAnon in Equestria
>He's appreciated much in the same way that obese black women with enormous asses are appreciated
>"Sorry, darling, I'm so scatter-brained. Would you please remove your pants? Don't be shy, I just need to take your measurements again."

>>29133052
There's already a story about that.

>>29132101
Need more Zecora love.
>"You mean a little human of my own? For this, Twilight would trade her throne."
And then they fucked and made zebra babies.

>>29133178
fuck

>>29132997
>Sweetie Belle asks Santa Mare for a kiss from Anon for Heath's Warming
>She thinks it's cute, and Sweetie's been good all year, so she tries to make it happen
>Anon is terrified of getting thrown in the dungeon for pedofoalia, so he refuses
>Hijinks ensue

>>29132997
>Santa mare
My dream came true

>>29133185
>You are Anon, and kissing this horse child isn't as bad as you thought it would be.
>You guess you could have done wor-
>Something grabs your butt right at the same time you feel a tiny tongue push past your unprepared lips and into your mouth.
>After a few seconds of confused and disorienting struggling (during with you are thoroughly groped and become intimately familiar with the taste of Sweetie's mouth), you manage to pull away, panting.
>Sweetie Belle is blushing, but she looks pleased.
>"Rarity told me that's how you kiss colts! Did I do well?"
"You-"
>Santa Mare walks up and pats Sweetie on the shoulder, looking proud.
>"You sure did, foal. You sure did."

>>29133208
Love it.

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>>29132997
And now say who were bad and naughty this year?

>>29133288
Meh.

>>29133288
Love the tail.

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>>29133179
>"It's wonderful when we rut, soon we will need a bigger hut."

>>29133340
In rgre, it's probably seen as being perfectly fine to drug stallions with love potions and magical roofies. I imagine Zecora would have a veritable arsenal to use if Anon ever happened to have the misfortune of catching her eye.

>>29133288
(You)

>>29133340
>"Now we've played our favourite games, we should start to think of names."

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>>29133384
>"Anonymous, my soulmate found, has made made my belly nice and round <3"

>>29133288
Nice

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>>29133424
That's kinda cute. Why are pregnant mares so cute?

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>>29133534
The're already really cute so if you like the thought of having kids then it ads more cute. If you don't then it can have the opposite effect.

>>29133566
Mini horses having baby mini horses. Cuteness overload.

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>>29133534
>>29133566
Ultimate cuteness.

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>>29133659
I'm suddenly depressed now.

>>29133667
Why? Because we are all going to die alone, or because we will all die alone without having sex with an alien species?

>>29133697
Anon, please?

>>29133704
its the holidays and am angry, sue me.

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>>29133697
>or because we will all die alone without having sex with an alien species?
I was thinking never being able to have children with pones, but that works too.

>>29133715
Who hurt you, Anon?

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>>29133534
Because they represent the idealized romantic relationship. In a perfect world, having kids with someone would mean that you're dedicated and in love enough to stay with each other for the rest of your lives.

>>29134110
luna is a cute
>tfw you will never let luna invade your dreams turning them an idealized future life with her, you
and your satyr child

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>tfw gripes of wrath will never finish

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>>29134170
oh god, this concept. Yes.

>Anon and Luna are a couple for whatever reason the writer comes up with
>It's discovered that they can't have children together b/c they're different species
>Anon is devastated
>Ponies tip-toe (tip-hoof?) around and walk on egg shells around him, what with Anon being the equivalent of a barren woman
>Luna gives him a dream of what could have been; them playing with their foals

Or a happier version:

>Anon and Luna are friendly with each other
>Luna likes Anon more than a friend
>Luna tries to endear herself to Anon by subtly inserting dreams about him having children with ponies, and then with herself
>Her line of thought is "Anon is around the age to be a father, right? And once stallions hit 30, they just go foal-crazy."
>She figures that showing herself as mother material will help things along

>>29134257
>The "I can bear strong children for you" is a holdover from a more violent time; 1000 years ago when Luna was banished

>>29134257
>>29134266
To prove she is a good mother (by 1000 year old standards) she stages mock battles in his dreams to show how good of a fighter she is

>>29134257
>Poison Joke
>I hate became pony
>I hate became pony
>I hate became pony
>Next days
>Finally it work
>Expect, you're green and with ? mark in your face

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>>29134110
That smile, round belly and the tiny dress are lovely.

>"We art aware knitting is usually for colts, yet Lady Rarity hath inspired us. Our foals shan't wear rags."

>>29134257
>>29134170
shit, you guts made me remeber reading a green where that was a thing ages ago. I think Anon and Luna fell in love somehow, but some shit went down and one of them died. It ended wtih Anon and Luna being able to meet in the deam world, where one of them lived, and they had children in that dream.

Or was it celestia? shit I cant remember.

>>29134322
>"Mock Us with thine forked tongue if thou must, but Our foal shalt be adorned with the finest Saddle Arabian silks that Royalty can knit together. Thou may tease Us and question the plumpness of Our quim all thou want."

>>29131679
That's like... your opinion man

>>29132703
Man c'mon. This is oldschool. After season 3 premiere, for a solid week, the whole board was nothing but speculation on the notes different crystallized ponies would play when you fucked them.

>>29133018
Santa mare's a unicorn, so she couldn't do it.
But we know pegasi have a practically magical ability to levitate carts they pull (or I don't know, maybe the chariots or carts need to be specially made), and it's obvious that wings are not the major component of how they fly, so flying reindeer that pull a sleigh makes a lot of sense.
Celestia even has wings but lets pegasi pull her chariot.

>>29133288
>>29133318
Yeah that's pretty good.

>>29133566
Pretty much this. Sometimes it can add to cuteness or it can come off as a pregnancy fetish which has it's own shit thread.

>>29133178
Link!

>>29134603
By the revered ApA http://pastebin.com/cTsh41wY
It's just a oneshot, though.

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>A little filly walks up and asks you to follow her.
>She leads you to a van like pic related and asks you to get in with a smirk.
>You look down at her.
>She's got a cutiemark.
>Wat do?

>>29134733
>Every now and then, you can see a filly peak out the window, and immediately duck back down when they see you watching
>It's happened five or six times, and it looked like a different filly each time

>>29132101
>>29133179
>"Anon, you must be an archaeologist, I'd bet Twilights throne."
>"Because I see here, you have a large bone."

>>29134802
That was awful. You need to fuck the ability to talk out of her as punishment for such an awful pun

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>>29134837

>>29134837
Why do you think she rhymes all the time, Anon?

>>29134733
>If RGR was real
>Because in the real world, young boys often try to lure adult women into vans.

I mean, alright fantasy and stuff, but still.
Also it should be "were", not "was", unless you're talking about its reality strictly in the past.

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>>29131661
>>”Have you ever had one of those moments where you’re really scared and weirded out, but also uncomfortably aroused?

>>29131679
EQG is MLP mixed with fucking Barbie.

>>29133208
More letcherous fillies please.

>>29134837
>"Twilight, I regret to say, that you are gravely sick. And the only cure, is my beloved Anons dick."

>>29135000
Twilight giving the orthodoxy the metaphorical finger and herding with a Zebra when?

>>29135014
>"Twilight, I'm afraid to say, my darling Anon is not gay. If you wish to herd with this colt, you must get yourself a big jiggly plot."

>>29135131
That didn't even rhyme completely, also a bookworm with junkfood habits like her means she has a bountiful booty, not as much as a earth pone or zebra, but bigger than a normal unicorn, or a birdpone at that too.

>>29135151
>Implying she's not one of those nerds that thinks eating more frugal = /fit/

>>29135151
>>29135171
or that what she eats has so little nutritional value that she might as be eating cotton balls as it wont add any weight.

>>29135151
Bleh, cottage cheese ass.

>>29135230
Sex burns calories, let that purple nerd bounce to her hearts content, or until the lists in her eyes run out of space at any rate.

>>29135247
Once fat has solidified, the only efficient way to remove it is through surgery, which will leave scars.

>>29128440
Socks too, what's that shit about?

>>29135323
Cellulite is caused by loss of integrity of connective tissue around adipose tissue. it's perfectly possible to get smooth taut skin again from diet, exercise, and time.
But it's true, if they're prone to cellulite, it's either have the cottage cheese booty or a booty without fat (maybe some good SLDL will grow a nice muscle booty though).

>>29135539
No idea about pony assplay (aside from the inherent attraction of tongue punching your beloved's dirt star) but the sock are for sexual (socksual, if you will) meme is just a meme, right up there with the RGRE is canon-ish memes.
So since it's funny a lot of green writers include it. It makes a little sense too. Clothes are close to strictly ornamental (dresses) or occupational (hard-hats, sun hats, aprons) for them; so a completely impractical piece of clothing that isn't good for being worn to a party becoming a little bit like lingerie is interesting.

> Be Femanon, standing before a portal
> You always thought your older brother was a dork, but you have to admit he can be brilliant sometimes
> Double majoring in Physics and Folklore, all to get away from this crapsack world you both call home
> To tell the truth, you aren't enjoying life on Earth much either
> Puberty was incredibly kind to you, probably to make up for everything else
> You are stuck retaking some classes at college, working as a waitress to pay the bills
> The tips are considerable, but so are the wandering hands
> You have to take two showers every day to feel clean again
> So when Anon called you up about his breakthrough, it didn't matter that it sounded ridiculous
> Which brings you back to now, standing in front of his portal, with as much luggage as you can carry
> With a deep breath, you step through

> Knowing Rarity as well as you do now, you aren't surprised that she immediately took both of you in
> It certainly helped that she got to examine two full wardrobes of alien fashion
> You yawn, leaning against the counter
> It was always quiet in the mornings, but you did get the odd visitor
> In both senses of the word
> You smirk as Twilight nudges the doors open
"Welcome to the Carousel Beautique, where you can become magnifique. How may I help you?"
> Twilight slips into the shop with a sheepish grin
> "Is, ah, Anonymous here? I wanted to return his book..."
> Ah, nerd love, how cute
> You tap a finger against your chin, pretending to consider her question
"Well, you could just give it to me, I'll make sure he gets it."
> Twilight chews her lip, slowly approaching
> "I did sorta want to..."

>>29136275
"You know what, how about I just get him now, I'm sure he wants to talk to you too."
> Aaaand now she's blushing
> "Th-thanks."
> Adorable
> You stride off to the scrap room where the two of you set up camp
> You open the door to find Anon still asleep in his futon
> It's not like they don't have beds here, but weaboos will weaboo
"Hey Oniichin, Ohio getcher ass up."
> He grumbles indistinctly and rolls over
> You'd say he needs to get a job, but the way things are going he might just luck out of that
"Come on, you're girlfriend is waiting for you."
> "Huh?"
> He props himself up on his elbows, blinking owlishly
> You roll your eyes
"You know, Twilight Stalker. She's up front right now."
> Anon glances at the clock, then starts muttering curses, scrambling to get ready
> He pauses
> "Thanks, Sis."
> You wave off his thanks, smiling all the same
"No problem. Got to get you married off before you can get up to mischief."
> He snorts, and you return to your post
> Twilight Frazzle taps her hoof on the floor nervously, focusing as you return
> "Is he still asleep? I can come back later if that's better..."
> You hop up onto your barstool behind the counter, and shake your head
"Nah, just give him some time. You know how stallions can be about appearances."
> Seriously, they are all so metro you wondered how the little horses even have population growth
> Twilight Snorkel bites her lip
> "I guess I'll come back in an hour then."
> You shake your head
"He won't be that long. Ten to twenty minutes is my guess."
> The little scientist smiled at that, and sat on one of the waiting benches
> Or sort of curled up on it, like a cat or something
> Damn, these ponies are cute
> ...
"Reminds me, how old are you?"
> "Twenty one and seven twenty seconds just last week. What about you and, um, Anonymous?"

>>29136280
> Still throws you, how Anon is treated more delicately than you around here
> Still, as long as mares are asking, it's not so weird
"I'm twenty seven and Anon is-"
> "Thirty."
> Twilight's eyes go wide
> "Christmas Cake!"
> Then she realises she said it out loud and blushes deeply
> Anon chuckles
> "I guess I am at that. Come on, I'm making breakfast, we talk while I cook. Should I save some pancakes for you, Fem?"
> Come to think of it, your morning toast and egg were somewhat long ago
"Yeah, thanks Anon. You'll make a good wife someday."
> Anon winks at Twilight
> "That's the plan."
> Thump
> Poor little book horse didn't know what she was getting into
> Anon scoops her up and strolls away, humming happily
> You settle for another slow day at the counter
> You could get used to this

>>29136288
Brother and sister Anonymous and Femanon. I love it.
Gonna do more?

>>29136328
Maybe eventually, I still have other projects I should continue instead. Mostly posted this because the thread was on page 9 and it was more or less a self-contained snippet.

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>>29136288

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>the thread was on page 9

>Anon starts a factory to build and sell things based on earth stuff
>His business partner Business Unicorn suggests he start with cookware
>Anon builds a run of hot air fryers
>They are released just in time for horse christmas
>Shortly after they arrive on store shelves they sell out
>Horsechristmas day arrives and ponies open their gifts
>Thousands of them find they have recieved Anon's new hot air fryers
>Most of them think they recieved hot air flyers
>And so proceed to get in and turn them on

>>29136288
cute.

>>29133288
>>29132997
You did well.

>>29131661
I require more of this.

>>29135323
I've been fat since I was young, Anon, and I've recently lost a bunch of weight via diet and exercise. Don't make the next year or two harder than it already is.

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>>29131653
>even during the tampon incident with a Miss Rarity and a Miss Gilda.
[Interest intensities]

>S.T.A.L.K.E.R Anon trips and falls headfirst into an anomaly
>Comes out in the Equestrian equivalent of the Zone, where a magical experiment went awry and turned a whole city into an anomalous wasteland
>Despite his new surroundings, continues to ply his trade
>Searching for artifacts, drinking weird homebrew vodka, and squatting around campfires at night
>The local stalkers tell stories about a giant male, who would jump into any anomaly to get a common artifact, who could smash a blind manticore's skull in with his boot, who always shared medkits with wounded stalkers, asking nothing in return
>In times of trouble, a mare can summon him by calling out, in a strange, unknown language,
>"A nuu cheeki breeky iv damke!"

>>29128315

>as if i would tell anyone else my fetish
>believing pinkie's lies to get me to eat her ponuthole

yeah, i'm not falling for that again.

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>You are Zecora
>You came to Equestria from Zebrabwe when you were young
>You worked your flank off for years, becoming a successful alchemist and a respected member of the community
>You consider yourself an Equestrian, as much as anyone else
>But that's changing, thanks to Cadance's immigration reforms
>Millions of undocumented migrants are allowed past the immigration board without so much as a citizenship test
>The exam that you spent two months studying for, covering 1000 years of Equestrian history and law, which you're only allowed to take once
>And now, your nice home, once on the outskirts of town, is in the middle of the ghetto
>"Hey husezigger!" A thuggish zebra mare shouts, "You don't deserve those stripes!"
>Down the road, a group of Mooslim cows are harassing a stallion over his lack of a veil
>You'd get involved, but the scars are still healing from your last meeting with them
>You glance at a newsstand as you pass by, the headline announcing yet another terrorist attack, this time by a donkey unleashing a manticore at a Hearth's Warming pageant
>The next line is calling the victims speciesist and saying they provoked the attack
>And then something banning unicorn mares from owning assault crossbows
>You lower your head and sigh
>Only Luna can save Equestria now

>>29137130
/pol/, please stop. These prompts never get picked up, and they are always too depressingly real flavored.

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>>29137130
>>29137155
"We're going to make Equestria great again!"

>>29137155
Yeah, if we needed depressing, I'd be here.

OH LOOK

DEPRESSION

>You are Anonymous, and it’s been a merry fucking christmas.
>You don’t typically hate Christmas, hell, you usually just ignore it like any other lonely winter day.
>However, between Jack Frost and Michael the Landlord dropping the external temperature and thermostat settings to hundred year lows (respectively), you’re finding it hard to even maintain the passive aggressive denial of this undeniably shitty holiday.
>You shuffle closer to the wheezing heater in the corner, holding your hands out, trying to ward off the bone biting cold as it rumbles on for a scant few minutes.
>A gout of steam escapes from the ancient cast iron piping, scalding you as you yank your hands back.
“Motherfucker!”
>You hiss, running across the studio apartment to run your pink, seared flesh under the blissfully cold faucet.
“Burn to death or freeze my ass off, fantastic.”
>You grimace, dabbing the sensitive digits on your pants leg.
“Screw that, I’m getting a blanket, and drunk.”
>Whiskey will keep me warm, you muse.
>As you settle into a permanently reclined Lay-Z-Boy, bottle of the good stuff in one hand, and a heavy blanket in the other, you sigh quietly.
>Not as warm as some real human contact.
>You grumble quietly as you pull the cork, and tip back a mouthful of foul tasting warmth.
>Your father had always said that the taste was supposed to discourage those who didn’t really need a drink.
>Kinda like how having to dial a cell phone discouraged your entire family from calling.
>Bastards.
>Wasn’t your fault that the only job you could find was in another city.
>Not like you really wanted to talk to them anyway.
>Another drink, this one less foul.
>You can already feel the cold leaving your limbs as you worm your way deeper into the ancient chair with a moaning creak.
>There we go . . . wind howling outside, firewater in hand, and . . .

>>29137180

>You stare at your television.
>A dark screen stares back.
“Dammit.”
>You were just getting settled too.
>You do a quick glance around, and spot the remote . . . resting underneath the radiator.
>You begin to sit up, but the maligned spirit of the thing gurgles angrily, and shakes with a malefic hatred.
>Concluding that discretion is the better part of valor, you let the steam demon keep its prize, and it allows you to keep your flesh on your body.
>Whatever.
>You don’t need television when you’re really, really drunk.
>And you couldn’t think of a better holiday to get blackout during.
“Chris Kringle can eat a bag of dicks . . .” You mutter to yourself, taking another long draught
>As the fine spirit does its work, you find your own lifted just a bit.
“It’s not like a want gifts or anything . . . I just want . . .”
>You can’t bring yourself to say it.
>It’d just be too goddamn sad to say “I just want to have someone to love” out loud.
>Man, you’re really killing the already dead mood.
>Another few swigs ought to brighten you right back up.
>Or at least make it so you can’t feel how miserable you are.
>Your eyelids grow heavy, and as the minutes tick by, you find yourself slowly drifting off.
>As you drift off, you could almost swear you hear the sound of bells, pure and silver.
>Your last thought is of tinnitus, before sleep takes you.

>>29137183

>You are Sea Shell.
>Mare, extraordinaire.
>At least, that’s what you tell yourself in the mirror each morning.
>You went to that motivational speaker, and, well, you missed a lot of what she actually said, but she was really passionate about it.
>Lots of stuff about visualizing, and ‘fake it till you make it’.
>You sit next to your little tree by the crackling fire, and sip your hot cocoa.
>You let out a little yelp, and nearly jump as you take a sip that’s just a bit too big, and burns your tongue.
>You rush over to the sink, and flick the water on full blast before sticking your tounge out into the cool relief that was really, really cold tap water.
>You turn the knob just a bit too hard, and misjudge the distance by just a hair . . .
>Water splatters across your muzzle and into your mane, and you sneeze and snort as a little of it goes up your nose.
>You scrunch with a fury as you bounce between the struggle to breathe and the burning sensation on your tongue.
>The survival part of your brain makes the decision for you, and you jerk your head back, snout scrunching in a way most unbecoming of a mare.
>You gag and splutter a few times, trying to breathe again.
>Your rump drops to the floor with a quiet thump.
“This is why colts don’t go out with us . . .” You try and blow a loose strand of wet mane out of your face, and only succeed in getting it to flop right into your eye.
>Wincing in pain, you bury your face in your hooves.
“ . . . no ‘mare extraordinaire’ . . . more like ‘master of disaster’.”
>You sniffle quietly, shivering from the cold water now soaking your mane and a good portion of your coat.
“Can’t even drink cocoa without burning my mouth . . . freaking out . . . nearly drowning myself . . .”

>>29137130
>Only Luna can save Equestria now

What is her black ass going to do?

>>29137188
>The tears begin to well up in your eyes, and your upper lip trembles as you twist the faucet knob back into the off position.
“ . . . and crying like a little colt . . .”
>You try and stifle a sob as you pull a heavy blanket out of heirloom chest your grandmother passed on to you.
“ . . . no wonder the stallions always go for someone else.”
>You wrap a heavy quilt around you as you scoot a bit closer to the warm glow of the fireplace, letting your ears droop as you slump down into a ball of damp fur and loneliness.
>You knew that your family was all together, laughing, playing, eating, drinking, and telling stories at your grandmother’s.
>You didn’t want to leave them . . . but it’s kinda hard to to take care of sea animals in the mountains.
>You glance over at your little tree, still sitting in it’s clay pot.
>You didn’t have the heart to cut one down, just to put it up as a decoration for a few weeks.
>There are three nicely wrapped presents sitting under it, with gleaming red paper, and sparkling golden bows perched just so on the top of each box.
>You let out a little hiccup of sadness as you force yourself to smile.
>The colt at the store had been so nice to wrap them for you, he even did it for free.
>You knew it was out of pity, when he saw that you were putting tags that said ‘To: Sea Shell, From: Sea Shell’ on them.
>You shiver a bit, as you remember how his hoof brushed against yours as he handed you the presents.

>>29137203
>Then you start to tear up again, at just how pitiful that is.
>You scrunch your muzzle up as tight as you can, and your little chest heaves as you realize just how pitiful all of this is.
>Sitting alone, waiting to open the presents that you had to buy for yourself, that you were too clumsy to wrap, fantasizing about how the stallion at the store had accidentally brushed against you.
>You sob into your blanket, trying to muffle the sounds of despair.
“It’s not like I want gifts or anything . . . I just want . . .”
>You’re cut off by the tide of wretched sobbing, burying the words, ”I just want someone to love”
>You cry yourself to sleep, your weeping growing fainter and fainter, until you think that you might just barely make out the sound of bells.

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>>29137180
>>29137183
>>29137188
>>29137203
>>29137208

Oh hey. You're here.

>it's Amphetanon
IMPOSSIBRU

>>29137208
You gonna Pastebin that?

>>29137180
Aw shit, amphetanon!

gib more twi dad
I mean, yay, thanks for the green.

>>29137208
You thought there'd be something happy here, didn't you? Well, there isn't. Yet.

>>29137266
Yes, eventually.

>>29137267
I'm too drunk to work on Twidad. At the moment.

>>29137278
Whatchya been drinkin' famalam?

>>29137295
Auschtauschen.

>>29137278
Well, send me your gmail account while you're at it and I'll add you to the Google Doc editors.
My email: [email protected]
Welcome back, and Merry Christmas.
It's nice to see you around again.

>>29137303
There ya go

>>29137300
What.

>>29137319
It's a brand of whiskey

>>29137312
Got it.
send pon.

>>29137319

Shit, auchentoshan three tree something?

It's whiskey.

>>29137324
>>29137326
Oh, okay, whiskey. Why not just say so?

Good choice.

>>29137341
Don't you know anon, when one drinks, they must state the brand.
It's fancy and shiet.

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>>29137193

>>29137324
>>29137341
Scotch to be more specific. Which means it should also be whisky.

>>29137385
>>29137193
Luna's ass has magical powers.
>Anon uses it to extend his wifi range.

>>29137398
Butt how?

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>>29137407
>Be anon in Equestria
>Be shitposting on /mlp/
>how? Magic.
>Specifically, Luna's magical vagina. Shit's weird, yo.
>Especially since it is detachable, like Kapo's
>Now you never leave home without Luna's vagina in your pocket
>A wet pocket is a small price to pay for unlimited wifi.

I don't even know.

>>29137398
>>29137407
>>29137450
durnk, i call apon you wwith lunas wee fee pus to tell you that you should do something with this.

>>29137461
kohe lele

>M6 are at a coffee shop
>Anon orders his black
>Each mare tries to out do the other by ordering stronger drinks.
>Panko orders milk cuz she's a cheeky cunt.

>Anon doesn't make it all the way to Equestria
>Instead of falling ass first into the Everfree as is tradition across most of the multiverse, he ends up in the dreamscape.
>Gets found by Luna
>After a rough start, they hit it off
>Lucid Dreaming Shenanigans ensue
>After she figures out that he's *not* a native of the dreamscape, she gets the bright idea to help him into the waking the world
>But she has to convince Celestia it's a good idea first...

>>29137577
>into the waking the world

That should be "Into the waking world"

>>29137208
>You are an uncomfortably cold Sea Shell.
>The wind whistles through the house as you shiver your way into wakefulness.
>You groan quietly as you are woken in the worst possible way.
>By bitter cold.
>You poke your nose out of the heavy blanket that you had fallen asleep under, and find a weakly smoldering hearth next to you, with faint flecks of snow drifting down your chimney.
“Urgh . . . not again . . .”
>You force yourself to your feet and shrug off the little protection you had from the biting cold to go fetch more wood and kindling from the cellar.
>You were going to put more wood on the fire after your cocoa . . .
>How were you supposed to take care of a stallion if you couldn’t even take care of yourself?
>You grit your teeth as you scamper downstairs to fetch a basket of appropriately sized firewood and sticks.
“Coldcoldcoldcold-”
>You canter in place as you pick up the firewood, the bone chilling temperature of the cellar leeching away what little ambient heat remained in your body.
>Practically bolting up the stairs, you hurriedly throw some wood into the fireplace.
>You blow into the bed of coals, and in a few seconds, a small flame flickers back up.
>A few prods from the fire poker, and you have a fire crackling away again.
>A small, satisfied grin spreads across your face.
“There . . . nice and cozy.”
>You pull the blanket back on, and settle down, scooting a bit closer to the hearth.
>You hum to yourself quietly.
>The oversized velvet sack under your tree groans in response.
>. . .
> . . . . . .
“AHHHHH!”

>>29137208
Aww.

Also you're fucking alive, holy shit. Also also more Seashell is always good. Not enough Seashell.

>>29137607
>You let out a marely battlecry as you assail the evil sack of red wickedness that some foul villain attempted to sneak beneath your tree while you were asleep.
>Okay, that’s totally not what happened.
>You jumped straight up, tried to run in two directions, fell down, nearly rolled into the fire, and wound up kicking the bag with all four hooves while trying to run away on your side.
>It lets out a pained grunt as you manage to regain your footing, and with some uncharacteristically quick thinking, grab the fire poker in your mouth.
>”Ow! Fucking shit! Goddamn . . . how much did I fucking drink last night?”
>You freeze, recognize the distinct baritone of a stallion.
>The language was a bit more coarse than you’d ever heard a stallion utter . . . but still.
>The neck of the bag, drawn shut with a what looked like a golden silk rope, begins to wriggle open.
>As the sack disgorges its living contents, your jaw goes slack as you find yourself face to groin height with the strangest looking minotaur you’ve ever seen.
>No horns, absolutely decked head to toe in clothes . . . l-lewd
>It has the most . . . delicate features you’ve ever seen on a male.
>He runs his . . . hand, that’s what they called them . . . through his messy bed-mane, letting the short cropped locks fall into his face a bit.
>Those brilliant, gem like eyes fix with yours for what seems like forever, and you practically fall into those iridescent pools.
>There’s the clatter of metal on wood as you drop the poker, your jaw having gone slack, your brain fried by the mixture of surprise, unexpected home defense, and really cute mino-thingy.
“OHMYGOSHI’MSOSORRY!”

>>29137615
>You dart over to him, ducking your head under his arm to help him get his hooves back under him.
>You press your neck into his chest, and your blood runs cold as you realize you just forced your way under him.
>What if he thought you were trying to plunder his virtue!
>The second the stallionists found out that you not only assaulted a stallion (well, he did technically enter your home without your permission)
>But also made intimate contact with his express permission (to be fair, you were only trying to help him up)
>They’d have you publicly . . . ehh . . . something bad!
>Your thoughts of imminent baddening are brought to a screeching halt as his hand plants itself firmly on your croup.
>You bite your lip and flush as his fingers dig in, and you discover that you have a new fetish.
>He grunts a masculine grunt, before hefting himself to his full height.
>Which . . . is . . . huge.
>You don’t even think Celestia is that tall. If she is, it’s a close competition.
>”Alright . . . this is . . . new.”

That's all for now. I'm bad at writing good feelings, so this is kinda hard.

>>29137609
I might die, but I'll just keep coming back, until there's nothing left to come back to.

>>29137625
>That's all for now
reeeeeeeeeee

>>29137625
>croup
I actually had to look this one up. For those of you who also don't know, he used her ass to get up.

Hey guys. Dark Souls is consuming life for the fifth time. Here's what little I could get out.

>After a day longer in the hospital you're finally released.
>Stepping out of the front door of the hospital was painful.
>They had released you with squeaky clean bandages, but painkiller seems to be off the list.
>Between all the pain you just grunt and carry on.
>Though the Yellow pony- you forget her name- was your only visitor, you still spent a lot of time with Red Heart.
>You had learned multiple things, each of varying value.
>You’ll go in ascending order.
>Your dick is the best dick she has ever had the pleasure of seeing.
>She had a huge wet-on for you.
>You were unconscious for only a half a day.
>Society was biased toward the male, and you could exploit the living hell out of it.
>And finally, Rarity was the town clothes maker.
>You decide to react only to the last two things, the other three things best left… untended.
>Quickly, you rush to a bench right next to the hospital main door and seat yourself.
>Thinking of a true-blue plan of battle was above your pay grade.
>Of course you weren't actually paid anymore, what with being on another planet.
>You begin to lean forward and place your elbows on your knees.
>You're surprised the doctor didn't diagnose you with crippling retardation as you suck in air through your teeth.
>Withdrawing your elbows only made it hurt worse.
>Truly life is pain.
>You take a deep breath and lean back, spreading your arms over the back of the bench.
>Time to come up with a list.
>First, you have to find out where the hell Rarity is.
>Second, you have to order some of dem supposedly high quality clothes.
>Third, you had to find a way to pay her.
>Fourth, was acquisition of Food, water, and shelter.
>Fifth was a job.
>You have no idea how to go about this.

>>29137868
>Dad always said struggle was a good builder of character.
>You were four when he said that, he was killed shortly their after by a Greater daemon of Tzeentch.
>Probably.
>Seems to be a family tradition now.
>Such is the life and times of a Guardsman.
>After lazing about for awhile and enjoying the cold air on your face, you stand up.
>Time to ask for directions.
>You wander around the town, most of its denizens greet you in a cheery way, but it feels sort of cold.


>You find yourself in what appears to be a sort of strip mallish place.
>Taking a risk, you head toward a place that has a familiar looking symbol on one of its open front windows.
>It resembles an Imperial Aquila, but distinctly has two ponies instead of a double headed eagle.
>You feel a bit insulted, you may have been left for dead, but you still had the utmost pride in the Imperium of Mankind.
>You squat slightly to open the opaque door to the inside, but something opens the door first.

>>29137873
>A pony with a long, black mane knocks you on you ass.
>She soon follows suit.
>You grimace before smiling, the sudden bad smell coming off the pony catching you off guard.
>But you had smelt far, /far/ worse on the battlefield.
“Oh, hello, pony, didn't see you there.”
>Through the scattered, and quite concealing, black mass of a mane, you can see a beat red blush.
>”P-p-praise the Empress, good citizen!”
>(Hey, there's no copyright to that line, fight me.)
>Your upper lip twitches slightly at the disrespect of your Lord and Saviour.
>But otherwise, you ignore the blight.
“Praise the Emperor indeed, pony. Can you point me toward the pony named Rarity, miss?”
>The grey pony seems to breakdown more.
>”I-uh-ah-um.”
>She stumbles for words, and you attempt to help her along.
“How about instead, you just tell me your name?”
>This instead makes it worse.
>Her breathing picks up and she looks on the verge of collapse.
>You put a hand on her wither to get her to calm down.
>This backfires immensely.


>MEANWHILE, IN THE HOBBY SHOP.
>You're the cashier of this here store.
>Is Floor really talking to a stallion?
>And he hasn't run away?
>Did he just touch her in a nice way?
>She’s about to collapse from his attention.
“I never thought she'd see the touch of a friendly stallion in all my life.”
>”Me neither, mare, me neither.”


>Be an Imperial Guardsman of the Grand Empire of Mankind.
>The little mare hit the ground with a light thud.
>You slowly get up and begin to walk away from the situation.
>She’d be fine.
>There were plenty of other people around.
>Confusedly, you edge off to go ask another pony where Rarity was.

I'll attempt to get more parts out, they'll probably be this long or more. Sorry.

>>29137877
PASTEBIN +3.

http://pastebin.com/k5k7J8hb

I might write a Dank souls/rgre thing.

>>29137881
Oh yeah, obligatory

>Gib (you)s.

>>29137891
Keep going, you wonderful person.

I see those views increasing on the paste.


JUST GIVE ME THE (YOU)S. I NEED TO FUEL MYOU ADDICTION.

>>29134298
she looses all fights she doesn't use magic in and even then, some that she does.

>>29135131
"Way ahead of you secora"
>You reach back and slap your ass
>And it jiggles
>And jiggles
>Zecora is in a trance watching the rippling jiggle of a perfectly formed heart shaped ass
>It keeps going
>when you see her head starting to bob, almost hypnotized by the jiggling you decided enough is enough.
>You flex your ass hard and the ripples stop
>Zecora snaps out of it
"What a fine day to realize I may be gay"
>You take out a bit hover it behind you and flick it at your flexed ass
>It bounces, making a very faint ting sound.
"Perfectly shaped jiggly ass that can also be so tight that you can bounce a bit off it, There may be only 3 butts in all of equestria better then mine"

>>29137891
(you)

>>29137877
Hurry up with the next bit.

>>29137625
At least the ponelets made their ceilings the correct height so Anon doesn't bump his head.

>>29137461
Well since we were discussing luna's ass with amphy anyway...
>Lunas ass is a bomb
>Bombshell is a bomb squader and must defuse
>Bomb defusal thriller fic
>She must open up Lunas ass and avoid booby traps
>booty traps
>No humans just pony bomb squad

>>29137577
>Anon arrives in Equestria
>Is in pony dreams
>Fucks around with them because not much else to do there
>Not like the ponies listen to him when he tries to talk to them anyway.
>Is now pony Freddy Kruger
>Luna investigates strange dream happenings
>Finds Anon
>Luna finally has a friend
>"He's totally a real friend Celestia! He's just trapped in the dreamworld!"
>"He's a space alien from underground."
>Celestia is concerned.

>>29137232
That fucking bulge man, I swear
I think most people know that bulge by now

>>29138152
like the dream idea.

File: 1473768160818.jpg (315KB, 1680x1050px) Image search: [Google]

315KB, 1680x1050px

>>29137877
more imperial violence

>>29136372
Its the holiday season, go figure.

>>29137988
(Ye)

>>29137208
>Seashell story and Amphetanon
my body is ready.

>>29137881
> Watamote mare
Feels a little forced, but maybe she'll show up later with more to do.

> Dark Souls
Anon must be a knight that communicates through gestures and writing on the ground with soap.
Beyond that, I'm not sure where you would go with the concept.

Should I continue Cold Edge Anon here? There aren't a lot of RGRE elements, but Frozen is already alpha mare of whatever herd Anon ends up with, and he is being courted by various females in their own ways.

>>29138456
Explain it, I have no idea what story you're talking about.
Also if it has an anonymous character in an Equestria you should be posting a copy to AiE.

>>29138456
Never heard of it.

>>29137615
Oh shit, Santa Mare delivers!

>>29138456
Yes you faggot I've been waiting literally years for this.

>>29138460
Two years ago or so, there was a prompt for going to Equestria, but ending up in a super edgy body. Anon must struggle against the fear of most everyone he meets, and the shame of having such an OC body.
Cold Edge Anon wakes up as a tiger-pony with ice powers in the frozen north somewhere, ends up becoming Sombra's friend and parole officer as Sombra tries to establish an independent kingdom. Shenanigans ensue, and he meets a Yuki Uma named Frozen Hart, who eventually becomes his wife. Sombra hires a bunch of dragons to farm crystal food, and a bunch of Monstrous ponies immigrate from a shadow plane. Each group has liaisons, who are also interested in Anon. Luna has been snooping in his memories for national security reasons, and has also grown interested in herding with Anon.

>>29137180
RIP Amphetanon it's like I can still hear his voice dancing in the wind

>>29138518
i remember that story. It was good.
But you should probably post it in another thread, here people will freak out since it's not RGRE