"Anon, did I ever tell you about the time I was the starting

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>>29122143
>Ya, sorry about that.

Would you read a thread about Night Light being a bitter middle-aged stallion who won't stop talking about his glory days?

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>>29122143
"Nightlight, did I ever tell you about the time I was the starting offense on the soccer team in the nationals? Would've won the World Cup if I didn't hurt my back."

>>29122143
You could always be a senator.

>>29122170

Who cares about soccer?

>>29122143
>Woulda gone pro if I hadn't joined the neighvy."

>>29122150
Underrated
>>29122276
Every country except the US

>>29122276
>Who cares about soccer?
they only care about when it's called football

>>29122276
The joke is that Brazil lost 7 - 1 to Germany as you can see pretty much everywhere.
Also the pictures of him breaking his back is hysterical.

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>>29122290

>>29122155
>would you read a thread about Night Light being a washed-up jock whose wife doesn't satisfy him anymore who bullies Anon into being a receptacle for his lust and also his hoofball stories
yes

I just want to disgust Twilight with the knowledge that I'm fucking her parents.

>>29122143
>"at some cushy Ivy League school!"

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>>29122150

>>29122143
>wide receiver
>hoofball

nigger are you fucking stupid, or do you just not watch the show? Hoofball doesn't have Wide Receivers.

>>29125737
>watching the show
wew

>>29125737
That's buckball. Hoofball is not and has never been an explicit thing in the show.

>>29122143

OP here. How the hell is this thread still up?

>>29126685
/mlp/ is full of fags desperate for that sire dick

>>29122143

Night Light tells Anon about the game where he made the game winning TD reception.

>>29126685
because Night Light's a DILF

>>29122143
>t.every old bastard at the gym ever

>>29122150
You fucking did it.
You actually made me chuckle at a fuckig arrow to the knee joke.
What a legend.

>>29123267

I'd make the thread myself, but I don't think I'm a good enough writefag for that.

>>29127881
>"I could lift that, too, when I was your age"

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>>29123267
I would love to see that.

>>29122143
>Be Night Light, the father of Twilight Sparkle
>You're having brunch in a Canterlot cafe with Anon, one of Twilight's new friends
>He's an odd, bald Earth pony with a green mane
>Twilight had said something about alternate dimensions and drastically altered physiology
>Whatever, weirder ponies exist
>You've been trying to break the ice for a few minutes now, but every question has been met with a sentence, at most
>Of course! Hoofball! No true stallion could resist a rousing hoofball story!
"Anon, did I ever tell you about the time I was the starting WR on the hoofball team in high school? Woulda gone pro if I didn't hurt my knee."
>Anon takes a sip of coffee and stays silent, which you take as a go-ahead signal
"I was scouted as a five-star prospect. The Baltimare Colts even sent a scout to see one of our playoff games because of me!"
>Anon gives you an impassive (you think, it's hard to tell when his face is a question mark) stare over his mug
>"Impressive."
>You ignore his lack of enthusiasm and continue
"You should've seen the game, Anon! There we were, down by six in a third-and-seventeen situation with ten seconds left to play. We ran a slant route and somehow the safety slipped in front of me and I was off with the ball toward the end zone..."
>Despite Anon's best efforts to look bored you can see him sitting up straighter, with his mug on the table
"So I get down to the 1 yard line and suddenly in my peripheral vision I can see a body heading my way. One of the cornerbacks caught up with me. Naturally, I dive for the goal line. Well, it looks like I'm going to come up just short when suddenly I feel a push from behind me and I'm flying over the line before I hit the ground."
>You take a sip of your own coffee before you continue with a sigh
"Turns out the cornerback got the wrong angle and had somehow pushed me over the line. Well, the refs said we won, but then I made the mistake of standing up and everything went wrong."

>>29126648
>hoofball is not and has never been an explicit thing in the show
DYEWTS? Spike explicitly mentions talking with Big Mac about hoofball, trading hoofball cards, and arguing about hoofball stats. Season 5 episode 1, 3 minutes in.

>>29129276
If twilight is now a princess and her parents are alive doesn't that technically make them king and queen?

>>29122143
I want to whiz inside of Twilight Velvet's weenie!

>>29122150
LOL'D
And first post, even!
Truly magnificent.

>>29131296

Please continue.

>>29131296
Please die.

>>29131377
Oh, yeah, that did happen. Changes nothing, though; the original point of contention was whether or not it was disconfirmed in-show that hoofball has WRs, and that line is non-specific enough that we can't even conclude what, if any, sport hoofball is analogous to.

>>29131296
>Night Light runs afoul of the two-pump rule

>>29122143
Uncle Rico pls

>>29132287

She doesn't have a weenie.

>>29134040
>She doesn't have a weenie.
gay

>>29122143

Anyone gonna do a green of Night Light telling Anon when he hurt his knee?

>>29134615
probably not, unfortunately

>>29131296
>A few moments of silence hang between you and anon
>"What happened?"
"The second I stood up the most awful popping noise came out of my back right knee and I went crashing right back down to the turf."
>Anon winces and shifts his back legs
"I didn't feel any pain at first, but as soon as my teammates came over to try and celebrate by lifting me up I felt like a thousand hammers were slamming against my knee. I couldn't help but scream."
>Anon shifts again and the top of his question mark creases in concern
>"What was it?"
"The injury? Well apparently when the cornerback pushed me it jammed my tibia into my femur and when I came down the kneecap just fragmented."
>"And you couldn't have just recovered and gone back to playing?"
"The way my kneecap broke there was just no way to salvage it. I needed to get it replaced. My playing days were over after the most exciting game of my life."
>You take a sip of coffee and chuckle
>Anon tilts his head inquisitively while also grabbing his forgotten piece of toast
"But in hindsight that injury was the best thing that could've happened to me."
>You get the distinct feeling Anon just rolled his eyes based on the way his brow moved
>He slouches back on his stool and takes a big bite of toast
>"Let me guess, you learned the true meaning of competition or how to be humble or something."
>You give a legitimate laugh at that
"Nothing like that, Anon."
>You take another sip of coffee and bite off a piece of hash brown
"Breaking my knee let me meet my wife, Twilight Velvet."

>>29122155
"What do you bet I can chuck a football over them mountains?"

>>29135473

Night Light tries to use a time travel spell so he can redo his football days.

>>29135485
>he avoids his career-ending injury
>this results in Twilight never being born and Nightmare Moon successfully conquering Equestria

>>29135713

>But he goes pro and becomes one of the greatest to ever play the game

>>29135725
>worth it

>>29135728

>He holds the league record in career TD receptions and receiving yards

>>29135737
I've got some yards for him to receive, IYKWIM

>>29135860

>He realizes his life isn't the same without his family, so he decides to undo the time travel spell

Would you let Rarity shit in your mouth?

The thought of classy, elegant Rarity doing something as filthy as shitting makes me hard.

>>29135876
I'd fap while watching her shit, and I'd think occasionally about how hot her shitting in my mouth would be, but I wouldn't actually do it because poop is gross.
Also, I think you're in the wrong thread.

>>29135903

Sorry, thought I was in /mlpg/.

>>29122143
I want him to shove his daddy cock down my throat while petting my mane and whispering, "good girl"

>>29135289
go on

>>29135473
>Night Light vs Applejack in a no-holds-barred hoofball chucking contest

>>29131417
Equestria is a principality. I don't think kings and queens are a thing there.

>>29136216
do you want to choke on it

>>29135289
Oh boi here we go

>>29134040
If she doesn't have a weenie, then how does she pee?

>>29135289
>Anon collapses into giggles and puts a hoof to his head
>You're taken aback by this and furrow your brow
"But it's true, Anon!"
>Anon finishes his giggle fit and looks at you
>"I'm sure it is, but look, Mr. Sparkle... Light... Sir, with all due respect, it's kinda cheap to lead me on with a hoofball story just to turn it into a sappy romance."
>Sappy?
>Why you oughta...
"Anon, if you'd just let me keep going I'm sure you'll enjoy it..."
>Anon throws his hooves up, still holding his toast
>"Sure, go on, I'm still eating."
>You're not sure if you could give a more exasperated sigh
"So like I said, my kneecap was fragmented, utterly shattered..."

>>29141766
>Be Night Light, many years younger, lying in a hospital bed
>As you lie there, your thoughts are flying all over the place
>Is your career over?
>What will dad think?
>How much of a fuss will mom make?
>Are your grades good enough to get into a good school since and athletic scholarship is out the window?
>Your contemplation of life is interrupted when you hear voices at the door
>Here comes mom, you think to yourself.
>The door opens and it's not mom at all
>It's a young Unicorn, about your age, holding a notepad and a pencil with her telekinesis
>You're not sure you've ever seen such light gray fur
>And that two-tone mane
>By golly, where's your water when you need it?
>And how have you never seen her at school?
>She approaches the bed and pulls up a stool
>Before you can say anything, she speaks and it's as smooth as honey
>"Night Light? I'm Twilight Velvet with the school paper. If you're up for it, I'd like to ask you a few questions about the game and yourself."
>You smile what you think is a natural smile, but from the look on Twilight's face it probably looks more like you're constipated
"Sure th-thing."
>What a time for your voice to croak worse than a dehydrated frog
>"All right, let's get started."

That's all for tonight.

>>29141769

Night Light gets a visit from the doctor, and tells him he'll never be able to play again.

>>29131417
>>29139101
I often find myself curious of the political dynamics of a children's cartoon show.

Equestria is never actually called a principality, and if you actually listen to it, none of them have titles like "princess of Equestria".
They're using princess in the generic sense of "ruler", which is actually quite common, and pretty appropriate here, since it descends from the Roman Republic's use of the title princeps: "first citizen".

So while Celestia is obviously a monarch (or maybe a diarch with Luna) of whatever Equestria is, her title for whatever that specific capacity is is not "princess".
Celestia's actually the Princess of the Sun, Twilight of Friendship/Magic, etc. It's almost more like a religious title than otherwise, except that it involves literal regulation of their subject.

Equestria itself seems almost like it doesn't even need any political structure outside of veneration of their goddess(es). They're internally quite peaceful, and have little to no need for war with other states (I tend to imagine that having an immortal being that literally controls the sun as your head of state gives you a certain high degree of national secure).

>>29141920
>I often find myself curious of the political dynamics of a children's cartoon show.
Shit's fucked, breh.
Equestria is referred to as a "kingdom" in the first episode, even though it is and always has been ruled by a pair of sovereign princesses, and it includes within its territory an "empire" that's also ruled by a (presumably) sovereign princess. Also Blueblood and Twilight are a Prince and Princess, respectively, even though neither of them is clearly in charge of anything and Blueblood isn't even an alicorn.

>>29141769
nice
i'll wait for the next part

>>29141769
eagerly anticipating continuation

pump

>>29144591
it

>>29122150
nailed it

>>29141769
>The interview goes about how you expected
>Twilight asks you the typical questions about your family and your early life
>Nothing you haven't answered before
>She may be beautiful, but you can feel your eyelids getting heavy
>"Have you given any thought to where you'll go for college?"
"Northern Vanhoover."
>You're about to close your eyes and nod off from disinterest when the next question catches your ear
>"And where will you go if you can't continue to play hoofball?"
>You snap your head to the side and look Twilight straight in the eyes
"W-what do you mean? Northern Vanhoover's a great school. Anypony would love to go there."
>"Yes, well, we both know Northern Vanhoover's usually considered better for sports than academics. Readers will just want to know if you had any sort of, er, backup plan."
>You exhale loudly, although it ends up sounding like a snort
>She's more inquisitive than you gave her credit for
>You're actually a little annoyed now
"My grades are good enough to get into Northern Vanhoover. I've visited the school. I don't need a backup plan."

>>29149668
>Twilight is scribbling like a mare possessed
>"Have you done any research into the professors? The courses? The majors?"
>You do your best to keep your voice even
"I am fine with Northern Vanhoover."
>You don't believe a word of what you just said, but your stubborn side has been roused
>Twilight looks at her notes for a few seconds, letting the silence simmer
>She finally looks back up at you with those big blue eyes
>Such nice eyes, now that you look at them
>You blink yourself out of your reverie just in time for her to speak
>"Thank you, Night Light. That's all I have time for right now."
>There's a steel in her voice that wasn't there before
>You offended her, didn't you?
>"If you don't mind, I'll be back tomorrow for some follow up questions."
"Fine by me."
>She walks back out of the room and the door closes behind her as you close your eyes and sleep

Sorry for the delay, I've come down with a cold or something.

>>29149674
Start taking zinc tablets with your meals.

>>29149674
looking good so far

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>>29122150
>>29122143
>samefag

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>>29145234

>>29149872
zinc cured my ass bleeding problem

>>29135869
But he then decides that he's too far gone anyway and goes back to snorting coke off of Rarity's crotchtits and plowing NMM's ass

>>29154721

>Snorting coke off of Rarity's crotchtits

Livin' the dream.

>>29139101
>>29141920

It's a dependent territory. Celestia and Luna appointed Shining Armor as Captain of the Royal Guard, whose duties fall more in line with governor since he's charged with internal security and external defense, but they're still the defacto Sovereigns.

>>29149674
>Your time asleep is not pleasant
>The same nightmare repeats over and over in your mind
>Your rear right leg is either amputated or mangled beyond repair (you can't tell in the dream) and hurts beyond belief
>The admissions board for some university or another is in front of you, explaining why you have been rejected
>At least, you think that's what they're saying
>You can't hear a word over the blood pounding in your ears
>After they finish they turn to leave and you realize one of them is Twilight Velvet
>You try to follow after her
>Standing up in the dream causes you to fall over and wake up in a cold sweat
>This repeats constantly throughout the night until you can see the dawn clawing its way around the drapes in your room
>You groan and sit up as slowly as you can
>A sharp pain informs you that, yes, your leg is still there
>Thank Celestia that the beds are soft in the hospital, at least
>The clock on the wall indicates it's barely 7:00 AM
>The nurse won't be around for at least another two hours
>And then Twilight will be by to follow up on yesterday
>You don't have anything better to do, time to start planning how to tackle that interview
>And how to apologize

>>29154721
>tfw you'll never snort coke off any crotchtits, let alone your waifu's

>>29154866
good

>>29122150
Kek

>>29154817
Dependent on what?

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>>29122150

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>>29154817
I think Shining was just a captain in the Royal Guard.

>>29122143

What were the highlights of Night Light's playing days?

>>29122143

>>29161675
He threw a hoofball over them mountains

>>29154866
>Be Night Light, back in the present, as Anon interrupts you
>"So let me get this straight: one night of nightmares and you're ready to drop the stubborn act and apologize?"
"Anon, you do realize that I was exhausted from not getting any sleep, right? Changing my mind seemed easier than expending the energy tying to hold a grudge."
>Anon takes a bite from his second piece of toast
>"I'm just saying that I'm surprised. You made it sound like you had a stubborn streak a mile long."
>Another bite
>"Are you sure Princess Luna wasn't influencing your dreams?"
>You stare at Anon for a minute or two
>He tilts his head in confusion before his brow arches in realization
>"...Oh... right. Never mind."
"So anyway, like I was saying, I had two hours to kill, so spent the whole time preparing for when Twilight would be back"
>You take a sip of your now-cold coffee and wrinkle your nose in disgust
"I won't bore you with the plans, so we'll skip to when the nurse came back..."

That's all I've got in me right now, I'll aim for two tomorrow.

>>29163303
>He tilts his head in confusion before his brow arches in realization
took me a minute