Princess Applejack

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Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:>>29108189
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:
http://pastebin.com/u/NSFT_NotSafeForTwo_

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

New first for Holiday cheer!

>>29108939
How about you make a pastebin for your fucking archives holy shit.

We had an actyal AJ episode this last season about doing simple shit in stupid ways.

>>29108962
It's tradition at this point, but that is a pretty funny similarity there, bud. Maybe for thread 200.

>>29108962
The archives are in the pastebin, we just leave those up incase someone needs to find a story quick.

Also, it makes a tree... we have a theme here

File: Madame Pinkie.png (379KB, 993x563px) Image search: [Google]

379KB, 993x563px

Pinkie prophesies, subbing in!
>I want to ride it like a reindeer.
>Twilight wishes she could blow that bulb.
>Rarity thinks stockings are made to be taken off.
>Fluttershy wants to know how to fit something down a chimney.
>Dash can't jingle bells, but she can jingle something!
>Applejack wants to wrap up something tall and pointy!
>Alterjack is sickened, but curious!
>And plenty of present fanservice!

>>29108994
Now it's perfect.

>AJ
“Celestia”
‘AUJ’
~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

‘Ah’ve got a question too.’

“And I have two guns! One for each ear of insanity you’re speaking into! Watch me go!’

>We just wanted to know iffin’ ya’ wanted to come with us.

‘Ah’m gonna see some of Equestria, then we’re going down to the farm for the holidays.’

“Oh. Oh! Oh, that would actually be really nice, yes! Just spending time together, you and me and her, and we all get a chance to spread some holiday cheer-“

>And she’s also bringing up some real good points about possibly actually using the other half of the mountain.

‘Ya’ got a whole half just sitting there-‘

“OR THE HOLIDAY SOUND OF BANG BANG!”

CLICK!

>Ah’ took yer’ bullets.

‘Hey, other me is smart.’

“But can you take my gravity? No? Then you have failed!”

BACKFLIP!

“Huh. I appear to not be falling.”

>Ah’ asked Pinkie for some help.

“Are we finally going to address how she does all that? “Because Pinkie” isn’t an answer, how is she-“

>LET HER DROP!

“OH COME ON-“

SPLASH!

‘So is this normal for you?’

>Pretty much.

>>29109009
OK, now it feels like we got off on the right foot.

Personal request, I hope you got all the questions out of the way for her arrival, because I want to get back to some hearthwarming stories

>>29109021
Can do!
>Pinkie
"Maud"
'Limestone'
~Marble~
(Igneous)
{Cloudy}
~~~~

(We hope you have a good reason for this.)

{Yes, we find it very much of offense we shall not be pushing the rock as is our holiday tradition.}

>Okay, I love you both, really, but we both know Maud alone could push that, let alone the two who spent way longer than her doing way more with rocks.

(SHHHH!)

{It is the meaning of the act, not the ability!}

(Sure, our eldest could easily push it, in midair most likely because that is something she has done with another rock of equivalent size, but if she did that, what would all of you do?)

'Wait, you guys were just pretending?'

~T-this whole time!?~

'I tried really hard with that!'

~It was all pointless!?~

'Was there ever really a family togetherness?'

~I... I'm sad.~

{The viel has been lifted from their eyes.}

(Now, we shall feel shame.)

{It is always hard when children must find the truth of the tradition.}

>You guys are like, twenty, what the party poppers?

'EXCUSE US FOR HAVING HOLIDAY WHIMSY!'

~It was so fun...~

(Child, we have caused much grief, why are we going to the Empire for the holidays?)

{Speak quickly.}

>Cause I've got something to shoooowww youuuuuu.

(Oh? What is it?)

>It's a surrpriiiiisseeee!

{We are most intrigued, can you give a hint?}

"It's partyland."

>...

'...'

~...~

(...)

{...}

"...I am bad at hints."

>MAAAUUUUUUD!

>>29109067
Holy shit Maud.

>Spike
"Filthy Rich"
~~~

>...Filthy.

"Spike."

>How are you doing today?

"Wonderful! How about you?"

>Doing okay.

"Good to hear, so very good to hear!"

>Happy Hearth Warming.

"And the same to you!"

>...Is Diamond Tiara home?

"I'm afraid not."

>Ah, bummer, wanted to drop off my present for her.

"Well, I'll be happy to take it for her!"

>I appreciate it.

"No trouble at all!"

>...

"..."

>...You keep looking at me funny.

"I just can't help but notice that you come over to see her and talk to her a lot."

>I do that. I very much do that.

"And if the rumor are true, not to say they are, the gossip mags get so very much wrong, don't they?"

>They do.

"They do! Ha ha, but we keep reading them, oh, we are the fools. But my point is, that you and the princess are... shall we say, not together? Sorry if this is wrong."

>It's not.

"Oh, so sorry to hear that! Always a shame."

>It's fine.

"That a boy! But, well, back to my little girl."

>I'm not trying to date her, I'm not interested in her, we're just friends and working on a... project together. Trust me, this claws stay to themselves.

"Oh."

>...That, uh... that was not the reaction I was hoping for?

"Spike, I'm going to level with you, I was kind of hoping."

>Ah. Well, sorry, not happening.

"..."

>...You know I can't compete with tabblrubu.

"WHERE DID I GO SO WRROONNNNG!?"

>>29109166
>Spike knows he can't compete

About time you realize that

>Talk about Sunset being a backstabber
>Thread dies
>Talk about Sunset being irredeemable in new thread
>Thread is left to die

Remember, folks. Thread Ghosts are always watching...

>>29109352
But... both of those posts were about how she totally was redeemable

>13
"???"
~???~
~~~~

She had been flying for a while now, through cold, through snow, and through the night.

She'd tired, but would not stop, no matter how much her body wished to fail.

>Come on... come on...

It had been a reckless choice, a bold choice, but the mind magic prodigy of the changeling race felt she'd sufficiently covered her tracks. Unlucky as she was, a bit of favor had smiled on her when the Queen had left as she had, and had taken time to return. With Forty Two's recovery, Eighteen's work to near collapse, and the changelings preparing for the holidays in whatever way they can, it was all too easy to slip out underneath the guise of not magic, but easy trickery.

She'd told the changelings in the stadium she was planning to watch the castle construction, and they'd been quite open that they'd wanted her to go. When those at the castle construction told her they did not want her help, thinking her too weak and brittle, and more than likely a little weary of her powers, she'd readily accepted it, and said she would return.

Those in the Empire thought her outside.

Those outside thought her in the Empire.

Even if discovered, she'd more than a proper excuse of needing to 'take a walk' after being shunned by both sides. In all honesty, it was something she'd grown quite used to, and it no longer bothered her. But her Queen, understanding and accepting as she was, had enough of a watchful eye on her subjects she would know it true, and enough of a heart that she would allow a brief fleeing respite from such feelings. Perhaps even she would chide them, as she so often did when one turned on the other.

Her Queen was a just, and caring ruler, and it made her actions all the more painful.

But she couldn't keep away, not now, not after what she'd heard.

Even if she wanted to stay loyal, even if she wanted to stay, the chains of tartarus itself couldn't hold her back after what she'd heard.

1/8

>>29109435

It had been such a peaceful night, such a calm night, when Sunset had called her. She'd chatted for only a minute, the mare on the other side not able to stay steady very long at all, before letting her go to what she hoped a peaceful sleep. It had been such a wonderful feeling.

Then it had come back alive, so loud she worried she would never stop the ringing in her ear.

Screaming, so much screaming. All of it was indiscernible, all of it jarbled and blown out as the speakers struggled and ultimately failed to transmit something beyond what even the keenest of ears could have picked up. Wild callings for something, the crackling sound of some strange eruption and the humming distortion of magic, and what she swore a roar so familiar that she would never forget it, even as warped as it was. For a solid minute it had been all she heard, it had been her whole world.

Then it had stopped.

A single moment, a split in time so clean cut she wouldn't have been surprised if she'd been hurled into the future or past without notice, and then it was dead silence on the other end. Not a sound, not even the spark of static, all had been silent.

She'd called, again and again through the night, she'd called and she'd prayed and she'd listened, but nothing ever came back. Nothing ever came forth.

It was silent.

It was dead.

After her restless night, she'd risen, pretended everything was okay, never showed a single flicker of emotion and hid everything so perfectly that even a species meant to read the subtleties no others see had slipped by her without a glance, she'd made her plans, she'd carried them out, then she'd flown.

She flew as fast as her weak wings could take her, to the place close to where she hoped she would find them.

She flew, and flew, and flew.

2/8

>>29109439

It was only a guess at this point, a complete shot in the dark. A theory she'd been working on for months after listening to every word spoken to her over their link. With every single conversation, a single dot was added to the picture, a single word or phrase slipped past the no doubt carefully crafted words the mare on the other line spoke to her. The unicorn, clever as she was, had even tried to slip in what seemed mistakes, but clearly were intended to point her in the wrong direction. It took careful understanding, careful planning, to see all she saw, and to form enough of a picture to make a guess.

Her picture was not complete, and what she'd intended to do when it had been was something she'd not yet answered to herself, but now it was all she had.

The location, the area, all of what she was about to do was pure guesswork and half baked theories, and she'd no ideas where to start even if by some miracle she landed in the right city. To find them now would be near impossible without some clue, some opening, something.

>...what the...

For once in her entire life, one single instance, she'd been lucky enough to find that something.

>How is this..

The area around was mostly dusty earth, stretching far as could be seen in an uninhabitable desolation that had no doubt added to the city nearby's reputation of being a scumhole only the worst would ever go to. When she'd flown, she'd expected to find nothing but some scant signs of a battle, perhaps a well hidden giant hoofprin to two.

>This can't be real.

She did not, no matter how she wracked her mind, ever picture an event where she would be staring at what seemed to be a miniature forest.

Or, at least, the remains of one.

3/8

>>29109444

A seemingly fresh crater, easily as wide as the Empire's Castle itself and not too far from the outskirts of the bustling city life well within sight, was filled with all sorts of bright and colorful brush, and all sorts of thick and seemingly old trees that could never have reached so long in this terrain lay broken and destroyed in the middle of the crater down below. Not a single scratch left it, not so much as a wad of rock broken off the corner, but inside was nothing but pure shattered chaos, surrounded on all sides by a dingy and haphazardly thrown up fence.

>What could have-

"Miss!"

A voice, cheerful as it was pleading, stopped her from going any further. A kind looking pegasus closed in on her, cheerfully waving all the way. Despite his scruffy and scarred face, with deep trenches across his nose and his ear missing a sizable chunk, the stallion looked nothing short of pleasant when he came up to her, tipping his hardhat towards the wreckage.

"Sorry, this is an active construction sight, going to have to ask you not to go any further."

>Construction...

She looked around, and aside from the aforementioned fencing to wall it off, there was no signs of machinery, no signs of any workers, nothing at all to indicate anything of the sort.

"Yeah, been working on it for a while now, but everyone's home for the holidays, you know how it is. Well, I didn't, I never got a day off before I started working here, but for other reasons."

He seemed far too cheerful as he tapped his own nose, most pointedly the scar on top of it.

"Yep, we're logging the forest clean."

>Why?

"Revenue!... Oh, don't worry missy, we made sure to move all the little critters down inside to a more habitable place, not one little squirrel or rabbit got harmed, swear it! But this little patch was sucking up too much water from the well, so we had to take it out so we didn't have another drought. Things get... messy."

She knew that wince, and she hated that she knew it.

4/8

>>29109453

"We're going to replant the entire forest further away, near a stream too infested with parasites and debris to be drinkable, so don't go getting all treehugger on us, but unfortunately we just couldn't keep it as it was. Shame! Got some fond memories of that place, but lives are more important than a pretty bunch of trees. Still, gotta bring it back in someway, the kids need a place to go play too!"

>I... see. Nobody mentioned anything... odd happening lately? Nobody?

His head cocked to the side, innocent as it was curious.

"Why would they? Everyone's known about this for months."

>How many are in the city?

"Like... two thousand?"

>That's... a lot.

She was no slouch in her magics, but two thousand...

Her eye cocked, noticing right away that quite a bit of the broken branches didn't look like they'd ever seen so much as a sawblade. More like a sledgehammer.

>And nobody noticed anything...

"Hm?"

>...Nothing.

"Well, just don't go near it, wouldn't want you to get impaled or something like that! That would be-"

~I'll handle it from hear, Meatsaw, you can go back to your family now.~

There was no words to describe the horror that siezed the changeling's soul when she heard that.

The sudden voice made the every fleck of chitin on her body stand up straight, her pupils dilate, and her heart completely and utterly stop. She didn't believe it, thought it insane to even consider, but when she turned her head, there was no denying it.

"Thanks, miss! And thanks for the bonus, little Sticker is going to love it this year!"

~Of course...~

The one the pony so happily spoke to, so cheerfully saluted, was the one being on this planet that should have sent him running.

>...what?

Queen Chitania, in all her brazen glory, stood before her, and the pony never knew it.

All he saw was a slightly taller, strange voiced, and save for a massive mane on her head and back, completely unassuming mare.

She saw so much more.

"Happy Hearth Warming!"

5/8

>>29109469

He never stopped cheerfully waving as he disappeared into the distance, though she couldn't bring herself to care. She waited, until the pegasus was long, long gone, and she was sure of her safety. Only then did she finally bring herself to look back at the mare.

Her mother.

>...Mom.

~Daughter.~

There was a chill, and as one they both let their disguises drop.

~How did you find me?~

>...I.... I thought you were in trouble.

It was a bitter look that crossed the changelings face, matched with a suspicious glance to her own horn that seemed almost accusatory to the thing on her own body.

~It was possible I was... loud, unintentionally.~

>You're hurt!

She blurted it out without a thought, nearly stepping forwards to see a closer look to the limb that had captured her sight, only to freeze when it was abruptly pulled away, and lifted to her face.

The foreleg in question, still looking quite strong and powerful, had obviously seen better days. It looked scorched, little scrapes all down it's length, mixed in with burns that seemed magical in nature. It stretched all the way up, clear to her shoulder blade and nearly into her neck, looking quite like she'd stuck her hoof in something radioactive and deadly.

~It's fine. Just an... experiment.~

>Is Sunset okay?

She felt like kicking herself when suspicious eyes suddenly honed in on her, her composure only kept from a lifetime holding her ground beneath that gaze.

>I... I'm just curious.

When those eyes, for once, were the ones to concede, to look off to the side, a fear she only barely understood the full gravitas of seized her changeling heart, and would not let go.

~She is... I'm afraid she is....~

There was no way it could have happened. Scientifically, it simply made no sense.

But there was no denying that, real or imagined, there was a loud POP! sound when a red and yellow mane popped out of the massive bush of hair that was her mothers wild mane.

(Happy Heaaaarttthhhh Warming!)

6/8

>>29109479

The white puffball adorned on her red cap was almost as bright as the smile on the pony's face as she shuffled forwards, resting her head up beside the deadly Queen's horn as she smiled down on the changeling below.

~...She is in a mood.~

The Titan Queen groaned when the pony cheerfully laughed, and mashed a hoof to her face to try to stifle the embarrassment.

(What's up, Thirteen? You come over to spend Hearth's Warming with us?)

Beneath the cheerful pony, the strongest changeling suddenly went rigid, hard and stiff as her head rocked to the side.

~She... I'm sure she has... plans, with her hive. She only came because of my mistake, it is fine. She has a place to be... I understand.~

Her voice was down to a grumble, a mumbling scoff that could barely be discerned beneath the vibrations and nearly drowned out by the rumbling.

~Thank you for... caring that I was alive, or not, but you risk too much being here, it's best if you head back now, before they get suspicious-~

>I don't have any plans.

Suddenly, the massive frame froze. The monster of a being, powerful as she was destructive, had been rendered utterly stilled by the implication. Careful, smaller eyes watched her every twitch and movement as she peered past her hoof, still pressed to her face, towards the younger one down below.

>They... they won't miss me for a day or two.

Slowly, but surely, the hoof lowered itself to the ground.

~...But the risk...~

Beneath her, the changeling fidgeted.

>It's... not your fault we couldn't spend it together, right? The princess was the one who... it wouldn't be fair, when I know you want me to. So, I guess I could, it's... it's not like I'm giving you classified information or anything. And this might be, you know... one of the last ones, you never know. It'd be nice to spend it with you again.

She hadn't been looking, but she was sure, absolutely positive, that she felt the taller changeling shake.

~...That would be wonderful.~

7/8

>>29109487

(WOOO YEAH!)

The pony rolled off her, smiling all the way, before reaching out with her magic and pulling the changeling closer to her. Keenly, the mindweavers eyes noted that the pony would not let go of her mother, for any reason, even while grabbing her with the other hoof and pulling her in.

(Hearth Warming, altogether! This is going to be awesome!)

>She's... excited.

(Come on!)

She pulled the weaker changeling up, until both rested in the wild mane of the Titan.

(Giddy up!)

~I'm not your damn workhorse.~

If it was relief that her mother was alive, happiness at the thought of spending time with her again, or if the pony had literally infected her with some kind of cheer virus, the changeling didn't know.

All she knew is that a sudden, bright feeling filled her chest, and her hooves kicked into her mother's side.

>...Giddy up!

~Seriously?~

(Giddy!)

>Gidddyyyy!

~...fine.~

She reared back with a roar, and like a bolt of lightning she took off into the distance, heading towards the city in a ball of fire that wrapped around her, her daughter, and Sunset, and disguised them all in one fell swoop.

But no magic, no matter how strong, could wipe the smiles from their faces.

>(WHEEEEEEEE!)

There was still guilt in her heart, that she would do this when her Queen had been so clear on the matter.

But, she supposed, for one day it could all be put aside. This was not Queen Chitania, the rogue Titan who had caused such pain. That was not Sunset Shimmer, traitor to the crown. She was not Changeling Thirteen, the one who found her loyalty split in half most days.

It was three mares who wanted to have a wonderful time on Hearth's Warming.

>(FLACOOOOOORRRRE!)

(...Wait, how do you know that reference?)

And come the end of the world or not, they would.

>>29109367
No, the first one was her being irredeemable, the next was me defending her and then another Anon building upon what I said. But we really did want the Xmas AJ pic and found a workable excuse.

Whoops, sorry bout that, forgot to hit post before making lunch and had no idea I was interrupting story time.

>>29109493
I have so many questions!

>>29109519
Right?

There was a fight but she doesn't remember it, apparently it was massive scale enough nobody could've missed it, and yet everyone is pretending like this is something that's been happening for months.

Or they think it has...

>>29109493
That is a ridiculously long, mystery filled and intricate way to say

>And that's why 13 went to see her mom for the holidays

>>29109519
>>29109535
>>29109553
Don't care, only Mommyling we have spending time with her child while surrounded by friends! Stop worrying and get into that Christmas mood!

>>29109562
I'm the last one and I was just pointing out my appreciation that someone took all the effort to explain it more than just a two post nothing.

>>29109493
>Sunset is super excited and cheerful on Hearths Warming

IT HURTS

WHY DOES IT HURT?

>>29109573
Cause we needlessly turned her into a bad guy when all she wanted was to be friends and feel useful and helpful.

>>29109573
Shhhhh, no more tears.
Hearth warming time.

>Cadence
"18"
~~~

>Eighteen? I forgot to ask, what did you want for Hearth Warming?

"Shining Armor in something sexy."

>...

"...Er, sorry, force of habit, I-"

>Like what?

"..."

>It's just, that's really vague. Like, what were you hoping for? Suave suit? Did we want a Manes Bonbond look? Were you thinking stripper thong? Just... him, but looking like he stepped out of a waterfall? Help me out here.

"..."

>..

"..."

>...well?

THUMP!

>Falling over isn't helping!

>>29109630
The Bonbond part was the only reason I can't hate you.

>>29109587
Naw, we didn't do anything, at first. Because at first, Twilight said explicitly "leave changeling shit alone", and what did Sunny do? Mess with changeling shit.

>>29109691
>>29109691
But that's obviously what was gonna happen, you act like that not the way that cliche goes.

>>29109256
Spike is a child star who burned out too quickly.

>Dash
"Rarity"
'Pinkie'
~~~

>...A what now?

"I swear it's true and she is AWFUL!"

>I... I think her being awful or not isn't really the biggest issue here.

"It certainly is to me!"

'She was very unsettling.'

>I'm sure, but I mean... there's bigger issues here.

"Very unsettling!"

>I... look, am I reading you right? There's an ALTERNATE APPLEJACK up there?

"Yes! And she's awful!"

>...That's your concern. That?

'It's concerning.'

>...how am I the most sensible one right now!?

>>29109754
Holy shit my sides, that's a bitter comparison right there. Accurate but bitter.

>>29109493
Sunsets behavior is scary for some reason.

>>29109888
Let her have fun damn it!

>>29109754
Not really, he was type casted at a young age, and then we forced him out of his role for half asses moral reasons, like we've done with everything in his life. Too young to fight, fuck you! Too young too love, fuck you! Yay! Were like Mothers who who fuck up their kids semi-stable life style because they see some shit on TV or in a Magazine!

>>29110015
My mother did that to me growing up, kicked me right out of my comfort zone for reasons I still don't understand, I resented her a long time for it too. I really do not like this comparison, it makes me feel like scum for supporting the neutering of Spike and like I betrayed my younger self...

>>29110015
He was never too young to love, he was too young for sex. Which, you know, seeing how Shiny went 100+threads between having sex with his wife, not exactly something holding him back on the romantic side of things.

He could have had a million different romantic situations with AJ, 18 and 42 and fucking Celestia have with Shiny, and that last one has a nuclear vag, its just nobody ever gave him that.

It's not even like we didn't want him to fight, he did in Cordyceps before being taken over, he tried to stop Chrysalis in Ragylis, he was part of 12 rescue same as the others, he fought in the beach arc, he's had plenty of action sequences.

None of that stuff you said did or should have stopped it.

>>29110063
Yeah, where the hell is this "Too young to love' thing coming from? Oh, right, the exact same guys who were hoping alllll of the breakup mini was going to be about that so he could just grow up a little bit and get back to Applepounding. The problem was he was stagnant in love. Nothing romantic or sweet, no BEST PAIR moments, no subtle stuff like 42's issues or the subsequent breakdown, nothing heroic like him tossing AJ to safety while hoards of zombies come, and no soft moments afterwards when they just enjoy the fact they're alive and still have each other. Spike was jailbait, sure, but fuck Chrysalis may as well be jailbait now for all the action she gets, and there was more romance between her and Cadence in the Hellfire finale than ever came close between AJ and Spike. Also, while I'm with this, where'd this "Too young to fight" come from? He fought in 12 rescue! The last major arc before thread 100! The only one he ever missed was Chitania Rumble 2, and only then because nobody wanted to write him getting out there and fighting. That guy worked in every single combatant even when it was obvious people threw in others he didn't intend to be in there, he would've included him.

We're not helicopter parents, we're the parents who saw our kid do this really awesome shit back at the house and then were just left staring when he got out on stage and stood there for most of the play.

>88
"???"
~???~
~~~

>Don't make me use my lasers.

The tall stallion across from her barely even raised an eyebrow, despite the still burnt climps on the left side of his mane showing that the threat of the changeling across from him was anything but empty. The strange pair, filthy looking and massive stallion and comparatively shorter changeling, somehow managed not to turn a single eye from the rest of the room around them. The bar was bustling with activity, but every single head was downturned or locked squarely to their own business, nothing else. Much like the crowd itself, the pair adhered to this unspoken rule just as strictly.

"I advise you do not do it, Miss Eighty Eight, they'll throw you out of this one too."

>Buddy, I've been kicked out of a lot of bars.

The changeling flicked the tiny plastic basket in front of her, tipping it over but suspiciously not spilling a one of the chips inside of it.

>This one wouldn't break my heart.

"Annoying little bug."

>And you're an annoying asshole. I paid you six hundred, and I saw you count every one, six hundred bits for information, because as you said, you're the best guy for finding info, didn't you? Did I hear that wrong? I'll get a damn memory orb and make sure, tell me if I'm wrong.

The stallion crossed his hooves, pointing his nose in the air to ensure he didn't look at a single other living soul in the dingy place.

"And I told you, there's nothing to find. There's no information, no trace, nothing."

>Look, asshole, this bitch is clearly still out there and clearly still alive, and I'm all out of possible other suspects as to who took my brother. I know he was taken, you find information, I thought we had an agreement.

"And I told you, I can find any information that is there, it is not there."

1/3

>>29110117

>So then you're telling me they don't eat, they don't sleep, they don't shit somewhere that you could find traces of fecal matter? I don't care if you have to dig the corn out of every sewer system, you said you could find where my brother went, and you have given me less than that shit. Now, we going to keep doing this? You going to get back out there, find what you promised me, or are you going to-

The bag clacked with a metallic ring when it landed on the table, and the changeling went silent.

"I am sorry. I did try to find anything, I did, but there is nothing there."

He looked apologetic, of all things. And regretfully began to rise.

"Your brother is dead."

His eyes went straight to the door when he turned around, already starting to walk towards it before the changeling had even moved.

>It had all better be in here-

"It is, every bit. I'm dedicated to my work, and my word. I wish you luck, but don't spend another bit on these searches, there's nothing to find. Others will not be so kind like me, do not waste your life, and your money. Good day, miss changeling... and I'm sorry."

She scowled when he left, her eyes going straight to the bag that looked untouched from the last time she had seen it.

>...Bartender! Bring the bottle! I need something strong right now.

The formerly blind changeling cupped her head in her hooves, unable even to find the familiar darkness that would grant her when the holes in her legs allowed the light to show through. Something she would have killed for, not so long ago.

>Damn it, where are you...

Now, she'd give both her eyes just to hear Thirty Two again for one second.

>Where are you?

She heard a glass being placed down, but the presence beside her did not move away.

>That's all I wanted, you can go now.

~Really? I heard you were looking for something else. My mistake.~

2/3

>>29110063
I'm not sure I agree with you 100%, most of what you said is right, but I can't help but feel that >>29110015 has a point. Not in the way that he said it, but in the general spirit of it. We did kind of take Spike out of the action because of his age, but we used the Girls to do it in fear of his wellbeing and for being... Uhh... Unpractical? Honestly I think he could have remained more relavent if we didn't take the being responsible route with him and DT. Without the love interest and action angles he pretty much has nothing else to do because we never needed him for anything more. Only thing he has left is glorified mailman and assistant... Which might explain the gun and dark thoughts...

>>29110122

Eighty Eight's spine locked up, her head shooting up so fast her vision spun. When it focused, even at crystal clarity, she couldn't believe the one she saw in front of her eyes.

>...You...

The hooded one before her gave a nod, allowing her to look past the cloak around his head enough to confirm the face she knew so well, even if they all did look the same. He started to turn around, slowly enough she could see the smirk on his face as he did.

~Good day.~

>WAIT!

She grabbed hold of his cloak, stopping him from moving any further.

>Can you... can you really help me?

The other smiled, shook her grip off, and moved to the other chair.

~I believe I can.~

He took his seat, tapping his hooves in front of his face as he looked straight into her eyes.

~Tell me, who are you looking for?~

After a pause, a hesitation she found difficult to overcome of accepting his aide, she eventually sighed, and pushed the bag of bits forwards.

>I need you to find Sunset Shimmer... and Queen Chitania.

To her surprise, a gentle hoof pushed forwards, and shoved the bits right back.

~Well then, you're in luck.~

That same hoof snaked back, and gently pulled down his hood.

~I've been waiting for my second chance on this for a long, long time. I'll be happy to help you find them, if you'll do something for me.~

Though it unnerved her, though she found herself fidgeting in her seat, when he outstretched his hole ridden hoof, she took it.

>Please... help me find him, Seven.

With every shake, his smile grew.

~I've already started.~

>>29109573
>>29109587
It hurts because we know perfectly well we are going to hurt her again already. It is inevitable. That cheerful pony who just wants to be loved you see right now is going to suffer again in the near future.

Case in point, this story.
>>29110141
Seven and 88 are the kind of Changelings who'd shiv Sunset in her sleep.

>>29110137
But that's wrong, DT got sidelined by AJ in thread(or at least attempted to, she still got back into the action during all the arcs), but the fact she didn't or wouldn't try to do the same to spike was a plot point. Even in thread, no characters ever tried to hold him back, and as mentioned before they didn't, he still participated in arcs. Name one time a character ever sidelined him during a major event. And even if it had happened it shouldn't have stopped him, it didn't for DT. Characters actively tried to make her stop, but she still got in the thick of it.

And, again, aside from Chitty Attacked, when did he ever sit out an action arc?

>>29110137
>Without the love interest a

He had a love interest for OVER A HUNDRED AND FIFTY THREADS THOUSANDS of stories!

How much longer did we have to wait on that one?

>>29110166
Rarity actually kept encouraging him to fight, even.

>>29110162
The universe does keep trying to kill her...

But you are wrong about one of them, seven has a huge problem about killing remember? You're thinking Jersey.

>>29110250
Wait... Does this mean WE are the universe!?

>>29110141
Oh god, brain no...
NC SO NOT CANON NOONN CANON
>88
"007"
~???~
~~~

>What was the thing, though?

"Hm?"

>The thing, you said you wanted something from me. What was it?

"...welllll..."

~~~~

"Ohhhh Scientist Baby Cakes! I found our partner for the threesome!"

~Is she a changeling?~

"Yep! Just like what you wanted!"

~YAYYY! Have her turn into Princess Luna, I can finally live out my dream! I'll take the front, you get the back, then we switch!~

>...Well, alright, but this better be some bomb ass marevag.

"It really is."

~BEST HEARTHWARMING GIFT EVER!~

>>29110299
I should not have laughed at this, but I did.

>AJ
"AUJ"
~~~~

>Ya' really sure ya' wanna go see the Crystal Empire?

"Just a quick look, we'll be heading out soon, but Ah'm curious. From the sounds of it, they're working hard, but you never know. Always something beneath the surface that it takes a mind like ours to find... mind like mine."

>Ever hear about not shittin' in yer' landlords bed?

"Ah' am the lord of the land of honesty, and Ah' shit where Ah' think it'll make the crops grow."

>Ew.

"Fact of life, sissy."

>Ah'd hesitate to say yes now, but the more yer' going at them, the less you're going at me, so off we go!

"That's going to backfire hard when Ah' start finding things they did right that you did wrong. Won't let you live that down."

>And there's that regret again...

"Too late for regrets now, Ah'm here and Ah'm going to kick it into gear while you've got me."

>More like while you're glued to me.

"Call it whatever you want, big baby."

>Well, whatever. Follow me.

Whom!

>Here we are! The Crystal Empire! Ain't she a beut? She's got shining castle walls, shimmering smooth streets, ponies that sparkle in the light, and... and... me?... Me? Where'd ya' go?... Meee?... Uh oh....

>>29110390
Non-consensual teleportation...

>>29110166
He also got encouraged to go into the caves during the Spike/Chrysalis friendship thing.

>>29110411
Er, just in case nobody gets that mixed up
She did go through to the Empire, she just ran off for AUJ loose in Empire hijinks.

>>29110442
>Cue home alone theme

>>29110442
>Finding out about Sombra

~~~~~~~

>Raaaaaaaagh!

"..."

>GrrrraaaaaBhikbffh!!!

"..."

>Waaaaaaaaaugh!!!!!

"...Are... Are you mocking me?"

>BLAAAAUHGHGUALALALALAAAA!!!!!

>>29110516
Well, look on the positive side, she isn't going to be findING Sombra...

>>29110529
... Well yeah, but that wouldd have been fun to see happen. Especially with Shining and Pinkie more than likely present.

>>29110516
There's a lot I want her to find out about.

Mostly, you know... 42.

>>29110299
Where's that SA/AJ story?

Between this and the PP, apparently we need to blow off some steam.

>>29110739
Well, even if he vanished, who would we actually want to see in that?

>AUJ
"Crystal Guard"
~~~

>Hrm... nice stance, yer' armor looks pretty strong, appropriate measures for both serious and light confrontations, and ya' look pretty well trained and well toned... not bad.

"...Are... are you hitting on me? Is this you coming onto me? I am all for this. I am all for this, and wish you to know your feelings are reciprocated. I am down to clown and I will bring it."

>Hm? No, was just lookin' you over to see what ya' got.

"I am packing! Royally packing and will be happy to show you!"

>Not that kind, idiot. Ah'm just making sure you're ready for anything.

"Top, bottom, multiple partners and all kinds of positions, I'll go for the gold!"

>...

"No go?"

>No.

"Not even a little?"

>None.

"Awww..."

>...

"...Was my down to clown line decent at least?'

>No.

"Not like I needed these feelings anyway..."

>>29110902
Oh god she can cut people to ribbons with her words alone!

>>29110902
Fool! She only has eyes... for the LAW

>>29111062
And apples. Come on man she's not that different.

>>29111062
Don't you mean the WAL!?

>>29111165
Wumbo Appul load?

>AUJ
"Crystal Guard"
~~~

>So, Ah' was about to praise you guys, but then Ah' noticed a lot of you, a lot lot, are carrying around what looks like rocket launchers.

"Well, yeah, they're our primary heavy defense."

>And they're a fine heavy defense, they really are. Not a whole lot that can top missiles for making things go explody. One problem.

"What's that?"

>Ah'm not noticing any small firearms.

"Oh. Well, we usually don't need them, we're excellent at hoof to hoof combat, really aces. Probably way better than Equestria's is."

>Not hard.

"I'm sorry?"

>My point is, what if you have to take down a single pony who's farther away than, like, right in your face.

"Rockets."

>...

"Now, don't give me that, we can actually aim these things with amazing precision. I could hit that bird up there right off it's perch, no joke."

>And if he's in a crowd?

"Then I... talk him down? What, did you think it would be better to fire into a crowd with a small arms weapon?"

>You'd only take out one instead of thirty.

"We... we have non-detonating versions."

>If you're gonna half ass it, don't do it at all.

"...'

>Learn how to use a small gun!

"... You have points, but I'm too scared of them."

>LEARN!

>>29111381
NO ONE IS AFE

Is it the same day she appeared or the next day?

>>29111636
>>29111636
I wanna say a few hours at most, why?

>>29111562
>Two
"AUJ"
~~~

>Ohhhh, I'm AJ TWO! Jumpin' with my bouncy shoes, AJ TWO! Marchmalleys comin' for me and you, AJ TWO!

"Stop bouncing in the halls, you're gonna hit someone!"

>I only did it a couple times..

"And you need more to your diet than sweets, try something more wholesome! Less marshmallows, more apples!"

>...Maybe Ah' feel blue sometimes...

>>29111751
YOU MONSTER

>>29111751
There is no hope in man...

>>29109493
Okay, SO!

>Alterjack apparently went full power at some point, creating an entire mini forest in a new crater(That she caused or Chitty caused?) just outside the main city that Sunset and Chitania live inside of.
>During this, she apparently managed a serious blow to Chitania's foreleg, or Chitania injured herself in some kind of suicide punch attack. Point is, she ONLY injured that one leg.
>However, Alterjack was left beaten and completely without her memories somewhere else.
>Not killed or broken to near coma, just badly beaten and plopped.
>Despite the close proximity to the city, everyone in it either didn't notice, didn't want to notice, or doesn't remember noticing this huge ass earth shaking battle that happened literally right outside their city gates.
>Everyone is just acting like this has always been here for months, or they think it actually has been.
And, most importantly
>Despite presumably being attacked by the Alterversion of the pony she hates the most, and being involved in the huge ass battle, Sunset is super fucking chipper.
>Like, she's goddamn loving it buh buh buh buh buhhhh.
>And is also super clingy to Chitty right now.

What the fuck happened here?

>>29111975
Most likely, Chitty 'saved' her in some regard and that explains the last one, but how she's controlling 2000 citizens is another story

>>29112099
>She probably got 'saved' in a dramatic fashion
>Probably was very happy
>Very, very happy her big bug beat the shit out of the one she hates
>Is now clingy and happy
>Very, very, veerryyyyy happy.
...guys? Did...

Did Sunset score?

>>29112404
Will 13 have to call her mom?

>>29112667
I'm afraid that Sunset would prefer 13 calling her 'Daddy'.. for more than one hurl-inducing reason.

>>29113024
... Someone will have to extrapolate the reasons, simplify them, the procced to help me consume them with some miniaturized spade like object... I am not a very intelligent man.

>>29110739
I'M WORKING ON IT, COME ON

I am a slow writer, if you haven't clocked how long it took for me to do AJ fuckin her own cunt with a silicon horsecock, this one is gonna take some time

>>29111975
Wait what

Wheres the connection between AUJ and Chitania

AUJ wouldve mentioned the whole fight that had happened with some gigantic changeling

Or at least noticed that ow fuck jesus i'm hurt bad by something and oh wow lookit that pile of fuck off located conveniently close to me.

Where

Wheres the connection between the two

>>29113473
Why? I mean, like 56 I can appreciate a good ass and all, but why?

>>29113473
>>29113506
This. I want too know too!

>>29113498
>Wheres the connection between AUJ and Chitania

Take a red string, wrap it around AUJ saying she was badly injured when she woke up, then drag it over to the injury on Chitty's arm. There's the connection.

>AUJ wouldve mentioned the whole fight that had happened with some gigantic changeling

She says she doesn't remember ANYTHING that happened between getting sucked in and waking up all beat to hell.

That's a red flag that she doesn't remember enough to mention it.

>Or at least noticed that ow fuck jesus i'm hurt bad by something and oh wow lookit that pile of fuck off located conveniently close to me.

Because if someone is going to go to all the trouble of punching her shit in and blank her memories, she's then going to... leave her next to where she just fought her where she will presumably notice the forest she conveniently knows how to create and the fresh crater that probably requires some explanation?

>Wheres the connection between the two
AUJ hurt and doesn't member.
Chitty's arm injured and brand new forest right where she lives.

Damn it, Dora! This isn't hard! That map is an asshole, don't listen to him!

>>29113498
You do remember AUJ came out of the portal Sunset had, right?

Just doodled the Paperwork monster, its surprisingly more terrifying than I initially thought it would be when I suggested it all that time ago.

>>29114269
HYPE

>>29114269
The mug tapestry did make it out to be a fearsome beast

>>29114309
Yes indeed!

>>29114269
I wonder if we're ever going to explain that thing?

>>29114229
NOPE!


When was that inferred?

Ah christ dont tell me this whole AUJ thing has an entire kekeaku plan behind to railroad to a specific destination

That would suck

>>29114395
Same way we explained The Stove maybe?

>>29114115
>>29114229
>then the last thing Ah’ saw was a swirling light, a pull and then Ah’ was… somewhere, all beat up and feeling like Ah’ fell off the castle. Memory’s fuzzy for the inbetween,

Wait is that it

Is that really meant to infer something Big and Important went down with AUJ

Cos it sounds to me like standard issue "woop woop space time vortex shenanigans" instead of "Suddenly, Chitania"

And the

>Screaming, so much screaming. All of it was indiscernible, all of it jarbled and blown out as the speakers struggled and ultimately failed to transmit something beyond what even the keenest of ears could have picked up. Wild callings for something, the crackling sound of some strange eruption and the humming distortion of magic, and what she swore a roar so familiar that she would never forget it, even as warped as it was. For a solid minute it had been all she heard, it had been her whole world.

From 13's story sounds more like "Baconmane accidentally the science again" shenanigans instead of "Honk honk here comes Alternate Applejack to have a fight"

AAAAAND the whole

>A seemingly fresh crater, easily as wide as the Empire's Castle itself and not too far from the outskirts of the bustling city life well within sight, was filled with all sorts of bright and colorful brush, and all sorts of thick and seemingly old trees that could never have reached so long in this terrain lay broken and destroyed in the middle of the crater down below. Not a single scratch left it, not so much as a wad of rock broken off the corner, but inside was nothing but pure shattered chaos, surrounded on all sides by a dingy and haphazardly thrown up fence.

Sounds again more like "Gee wilikers Sunset, how come your dead mom let you science up some magic shit?" than "Here be the fight between Chitania and Alterjack that was so rad it cannot be recorded"

????????

>>29114435
There is a very subtle hint buried here. http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29025369/#29069683

It's right about the time her portal gets taken over by the chaos it was infected with the first time it tried to kill her. There's the clue!

>>29114398
>When was that inferred

...when the portal exploded in Sunsets face?

Then, first story next thread, BOOM! Alterjack.

>>29114435
Really? Nothing about the giant trees screams Altjack?

She's already had a fight scene just cleared it up too!

>>29114468
>>29114475
Oh you've got to be kidding me

Is all this shit planned and plotted out by just one guy or something? This is getting aggravating

>>29114489
...well yeah, the guy who had the portal go crazy, the IMMEDIATELY had Altjack show up is probably the same guy.

Is that... bad?

>>29114510
Kinda...

It's just that, fuck i dunno, the whole thing with our big stories is that lotse people contribute to arcs and adventures

To realise it's mostly being done by just one guy tying all these seperate clusters of characters together...

Doesn't feel right...

>>29114525
I mean, in this case it was a pretty straight progression m, I'm not even sure what you're asking for. Did you want him to make the portal go crazy and then just... leave it up to interpretation?

I have no idea what you're even taking about here.

>>29114589
I had no inkling that we were going to have AUJ being directly related to Sunset's Misfortunes in Magic

That the portal going screwy was Discord's doing, hence the whole "swirling colours" kaboom that happened.

>>29114525
>It's just that, fuck i dunno, the whole thing with our big stories is that lotse people contribute to arcs and adventures

...which is why he just did the setup and said "go nuts with AltJ learning about this world. Annnnd, we did, we literally filled an entire thread, literally an ENTIRE THREAD with that premise alone. And that was just Canterlot! We haven't done the CE yet. But that was all of us. Most of it was sillies, some of it was serious. And I could tell you at least one story, the one with shining armor, had nothing to do with him. I can tell you cause that was me.

He did three stories to handle the setup, then we went nuts, which is how it should be. Setup and if we want to join in, we can. If not, be ready to finish your story.

>>29114599
It was Discord and Fluttershys doing. The portal was infected in the chaos battle, when that spike nearly stabbed Sunny. Then, months later, it finally had a result.

File: Screenshot-1097.jpg (912KB, 1600x896px) Image search: [Google]

912KB, 1600x896px

I decided to make Fluttershy in Sims 3.

>>29114624
>No wings

One job!

>Lightning Dust
“Soarin’
~~~

>Leaving for the holidays, soldier?

“Yes ma’am.”

>Alright, well, have fun.

“What about you, you going anywhere for the holidays?”

>…oh, yeah! Totally! Got places to be, ponies to see, all that jazz.

“Well, glad you won’t be alone. I know you didn’t have anyone to be with last year. Seeing as how you were here… with us. Me and Fleetfoot, I mean.”

>Pleeenty of places to be. Really gained a following thanks to, you know, captaiiin of the Wonderbolts, it’s awesome.

“Good.”

>It is!

“It is. Well, you have a nice holiday.”

>Heyyy, you too.

LEAVES!

>…And look here, my good friend has arrived already! Hello, mister scotch, take off your coat and kick up your heels, I think the two of us have a lot to talk about…

>>29114624
Now she's truly part of the crew!

>>29114649
...hello darkness her old friend

>AUJ
“???”
~~~

>This place is screwy.

She’d gone up, down, left, right, side to side and through the halls again, and it felt like she’d somehow not made it any further than a few steps.

>Everyone complained about me remodeling the castle too, but screw ‘em. This takes up too much space. Like this room!

She came to a dead stop in what looked like an otherwise smooth hallway, only a single door to be found on the entire stretch. It wasn’t the royal office, she’d passed that by already. It wasn’t the entrance to the throne room’s adjacent hallway, that was several stories up higher. For all intents and purposes, it seemed like nothing more than a massive room for the sake of being massive.

>Maybe Ah’m being too harsh, and they store their weapons in here or something.

Without a single care given to what anyone would think of her going in and inspecting a foreign nations armory, mostly due to even now having a hard time considering this a ‘separate’ nation, she brazenly opened the door, and stepped inside.

>…Or where they store all the paperwork they don’t want to do.

She winced, already filling her head with a hundred thousand harsh insults and maybe something just a touch worse at the thought. Not doing the paperwork was one thing, hiding it away like this made her want to summon her vines and do something most unpleasant to everyone involved. She never really would, but the thoughts certainly were there and would have to be filled with good old fashioned screaming and insults at some point.

>Dang it, bunch of…

Her ear twitched, suddenly picking up on something faint in the midst of the wall of paper. Something distinctly familiar, and that she’d recognize anywhere. The scribbling of a pen on paper.

>Is… is someone in there?

She had to stand up on her very tips of her hooves, and when that proved ineffective she rose further up with a subtle beat of her wings, careful not to disturb a single stack of them.

>No way.

1/3

>>29114809

Only there, at the top, could she see a style of hair that had grown uncommon in her life. Rarely seen, but never forgotten.

>Well, Ah’ll be!

She admitted it, she felt proud of Cadence when she lowered down, and made her way into the thick of the stacks, finally able to tell where desk began and wall of white ended. For a mare like her to be working this close to the holidays on this much work was something she was downright impressed with, and whatever she thought of the version she had known, she had to say it to this one. She had to say something.

>Sugar Cube, Ah’ have got to tell you this is the most…

It was a pity then, that when she walked around the one stack that had been shielding her vision, she found she couldn’t say a single word. Her throat seized up, and nothing escaped but a single hissing sound that was not at all unlike a balloon letting the air out.

“Sorry, can’t talk today, Applejack. Shiny ended up going on a midnight run last night and completely forgot he needed to file the exemption work for the Hearth Warming charities, I’ve got to get this officiated before six or all Tartarus is going to break loose, rearranging the tax code made it easier but damn if one thing doesn’t throw it all out of whack. My assistants are helping, but those four still need me to take the lion’s share, or they get overwhelmed. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the military formations we need to get in check for the next parade, if I don’t get their directions they won’t know where all our forces need to be for the show. I know, he likes handling this, but ugh, have you seen him? Barely any sleep thanks to Cadence. He just stares, and his leg keeps twitching and it keeps me up all night in the bed. I don’t have the heart to tell him he’s waking me up, because then I might have to switch, and I’m not losing that spot. Nope, just going to take another shot of love and keep going, and try not to collapse again!”

2/3

>>29114814

She stared. Applejack, not the one the mare knew, stared. Her mind had broken, she could feel the split slowly growing down it as she tried to process everything that the other had said, and found she couldn’t. Everything about it, from the speed at which she worked, to the mindboggling implications of all that she said she was in command of, to the even further disturbing implications of the one before her being allowed in the bed of Shining Armor and Cadence, and most of all, that it was a changeling wearing a wig that looked exactly like Cadence’s hair, all of it collided in a symphony of mindbreaking proportions that threatened to consume her and all reality with it.

“…Applejack?”

When she finally stopped holding her hoof out and looked up, she had no response to the inquisitive stare that was shot her way, only silence.

“Whoa, cool duds! I like it. Thought I miss the hat… wait, is that Applebloom’s Bow? Awwww, that’s so sweet, are you two doing a little swap? Can I see? Oh oh! No, nevermind, keep it a secret, I’ll see it when I come down for the party. Don’t switch back before then! Hee!... Okay, I was being cute, but now you’re starting to worry me.”

Without a word, without a sound, without even moving her hooves, the alternate princess slid straight back along the floor, and straight out the door. The last thing the changeling saw before the door slammed shut was a face twisted in an expression she had never seen before, and left her confused and disturbed.

“…Well, that was weird. Should I be worried?”

The paperwork beside her rose up, forming a facsimile of what could be called a head and shoulders, all for the sole purpose of shrugging.

“Yeah, it’s probably nothing.”

Agreeing with her, the creation slipped back into perfect formation, and lay rested once more. That settled, the mare got back to work.

“…it’s probably nothing.”

>>29114817
Not even here a day and you already broke her.

>>29114633
She actually does sort of. I gave her a tattoo of yellow wings. Her long hair covers it up though.

>>29114817
Annnnd, she decides to gas the lings.

Good job fuckos.

>>29114962
Or gas Cadddy.

>>29115000
...you fool!

>AJ
“Crystal Guard’
~~~~

>Okay, me, think! If Ah’ was here, where would Ah’ be!?

“…is that some kind of riddle?”

>Which way would Ah’ go if Ah’ was mah’self?

“I feel like this is some kind of really deep thought process that I’m just plain not very aware of and feel left out on.”

>Where am Ah’!?

“In the cosmic sense? Where are any of us, really? Where are we going? What are we doing? The mystery… is inside of us.”

>WHERE!?

“…No but seriously what the fu-“

>The throne room! Of course!

ZOOM!

“…where am I, on this big blue ball in space?... Whoa.”

>>29114817
I wonder if she is feeling regret for her genocide.

>>29115135
Clearly, she is just ticked that her Shiny let a bug touch him even in another universe.

>>29115135
Might not have iced them though, chrysalis for sure but they might have been banished or employed, no need to kill willing workers... Hint hint, they're willing or else. Getting paid with minutes more to live in constant hunger to pay of Reaper Pone.

>Blueblood
“PJ”
‘Haymaker’
~~~

>So, what were you all planning to get Arana this year? I’m having trouble.

“A pony-sutra, tell her that she needs to see how many pages she can add with the extra limbs.”

>PJ!

“Oh come on, she’s legal.”

>She doesn’t understand any of that!

‘Well, someone should probably explain it to her at some point.’

“Yeah, like… really. I’m with Haymaker on this one. New idea! The gift I bring shall be the gift of knowledge!”

>Nobody is giving her knowledge of sex just before the holidays!

‘Wait, why? Is it different now?’

>Obviously!

“Because? “

>Reasons! Spiritual reasons!

“You do know we don’t celebrate this, right? We didn’t get invited to the pow wow.”

‘And probably would have stabbed them in the back had she been there.’

“Harsh but true.”

>It’s… different!

“…”

‘…’

>…sigh. Let me talk to her first.

“Gift stealer!”

‘But don’t you see, PJ? We get the gift… of entertainment.’

“…retracted. This is going to be fun.”

>>29115277
Bad touch!

>Spitfire
“Cadence’
~~

>…Oh dear Faust.

“What!? Did my water break!? Can that happen and I miss it? Is that supposed to feel like something!? What!?”

>Oh… dear… Faust…

“Is it starting to burst out of my chest!? Can babies do that!? Tell me babies can’t do that! Spitfire, I need you to tell me right now a baby can’t burst out of my chest!”

>Oh. Dear. Faust.

“WHAT IS IT OH SWEET MERCIFUL CELESTIA WHAT YOU BASTARD SHINING WHAT DID YOU DO TO MEEEE!?”

>…if what you said is true?

“Which part!? This if vital fucking information!”

>Then that means… according to Shiny…

“The bastard, yes, what did he say!?”

>..there’s two Applejacks.

“…”

>…

“…M… math checks out?”

>…Noooo…

“Um-“

>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CRASH!

“…Okay, so, that wasn’t a denial about the chestburster thing!... Probably not going to be-GAH!... No! Bad baby! Do not kick RIGHT THEN! BAD! GO TO YOUR ROOM!...”

Wobble wobble.

“Teach you who’s boss, don’t care where you are…”

>>29115581
SAssing the baby, really?

>AUJ
“???”
‘???’
~~~~

>Okay, okay… just… okay. Okay. Ooooohkay. Okay…. Okay.

She had been doing that a lot.

>It’s all fine. It’s… totally fine. Sure there’s a perfectly reasonably explanation, shouldn’t jump to conclusions, shouldn’t assume, that’s how the bad thoughts win, when you assume. Not doing that. Can’t do that! Nope! Not going to assume a single thing until confirmed. Maybe its an in joke! Maybe she’s a diversity hire!... A diversity hire that handles tax laws and military formations- no no! No! Bad thoughts! Those are bad thoughts that could easily be explained away. Just putting them in place for a parade sounds like meaningless busywork, that’s something you delegate, and tax laws… get back to that one later. But for now, it’s no assuming, no jumping to conclusions, none of that! Ah’m going to find them, be calm, and not lose my-

“Attention!”

The mare froze in mid step, taken back by the odd mixture of force and weak crackling in the voice that she’d heard. Though she could already feel the regret, it was too late. Her legs moved of their own accord around the bend, allowing her to look out one of the castle’s many balconies, and down to the courtyard below.

>…nope.

What she saw down there nearly made her brain split in half again.

>Not gonna assume. Nooot… nope.

“Soldiers, at mark!”

As one, the massive squad of soldiers slipped effortlessly into a perfect lineup. Not an Equestrian formation, she knew each and every one of those by heart. No, they remained in a grouping she’d almost never seen before. Almost.

>…Noope.

She’d seen it exactly one time.

>Not gonna…

And it was very much connected to the changeling standing before all of them, and each one respectfully clung to her every word and command.

“Today’s drills are suppression, detection, and… and…”

1/3

>>29115877

The barest hints of emotion flickered on several of their faces when the one at the center of it all seemed to grow winded from just those few words, her legs shaking already like someone who had just run a marathon through the city on one leg.

“…and redirecting! Your crowd control is admirable, but it is not perfect, and perfection can mean the difference between victory and failure!”

As one, they saluted her.

‘MA’AM YES MA’AM!’

“A cut crystal will sparkle like any other, a well cut crystal… shines the brightest…”

The words were supposed to be inspiring, no doubt. But when she nearly fell over, several of them twitching with a contained need to rush over to her, it had another effect entirely. All of them looked ready to train harder, all of them looked more determined.

“First task, suppression, your obstacle course has already been set up! Head over to arena Sapphire, and begin! The others are watching you, so if you even think about… think about slacking…”

Her hoof flicked out in what looked like it was supposed to be a punch, instead it seemed to only be a pitiful swat.

“I’ll beat the laziness out of you.. understood?”

‘YES MA’AM!’

“Begin!”

With perfect form, and perfectly synced steps, they turned and marched off. Perfect toy soldiers, all bowing to her command, following her every direction without question. Her. The changeling.

“Good luck!”

She watched as they all moved away, and only when they were gone did the changeling finally slump, and suck in deep and hungry breaths of air.

>…what in the name of sweet apple acres.

The one down below suddenly started at the words, trying to scramble up into a real fighting stance.

“Who’s up there?”

2/3

>>29115884

She watched as the changeling, wearing a strange helmet that tingled with familiarity in her mind, glared straight up at her. From the way she squinted, and the sweat caking yellow hair to her head, it seemed she couldn’t see clearly, her normally pristine eyes looking blurry and unfocused.

>…Who wants to know?

Her chitinous chest puffed out, her whole body going stiff as she reared up, and brought a hoof proudly to her chest.

“Changeling Forty Two, commander of the unified changeling army of her Majesty’s Hive, and your worst nightmare if you cross me or those I fight with.”

>Didn’t look like those were changelings.

She tried to smirk, but it came off as nothing but tired.

“I am also the ‘guest instructor’ of the Crystal Forces, on occasion. To build unity and better understanding.”

Her every word was laced with sarcasm and spite, enough to make every hair on the mare’s body rise up.

“Now, your turn. What are you doing up there?”

>Searching for someone.

“Oh? And who’s that?”

>The princess, mostly.

“I’m afraid she’s not taking any meetings.”

>You know this?

“I do.”

There was not a single shred of doubt in the changelings voice.

>…She’ll make an exception for me.

Or any to be found in the princess’s either.

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken.”

>If that’s the case, then there’s nothing to worry about. Not here to start a fight.

“I’d hope not, our army is rather... unforgiving to such matters.”

>Can see that.

“Would you like an escort? I would be more than happy to keep you from getting lost.”

>Nope. Looks like you’re busy, so best be on my way. You go back to training their guard, and have a… nice day.

The changeling wobbled forwards, her wings already buzzing, but she never managed to make it off the ground. She could only watch, determination in her blurry eyes, as the mare walked away.

“… I don’t know who that was, but I fucking hate them.”

>>29115891
Damn, seeing her like that tugs at me way more than I thought it would.

>>29115891
Punchbuuuuugggggg....

Why you gotta do this to me?

>>29115891
NC
~~~~~~

"Bitch, I am totally going to shit in her breakfast. To the cameras!"

~~~~~~

~WHAT IN TARNATION!?~

"Reveeennngeee!"

>AUJ
“???”
~~~~

>Changelings… changelings! They’re everywhere! They’re… they’re in every crook and cranny! There’s in every single turn and hall! Changelings! The changelings are everywhere! They’re everywhere! Ah’ve got to get to the bottom of this, got to find the answers, go to… no…

She looked out the window.

She didn’t want to believe it.

Couldn’t believe it.

But there it was.

>No… nooooo…

A changeling castle, just barely visible in the distance.

>YOU MANIACS! YOU BUCKED IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOUUUUUUU!

“I dunno, I like it.”

>…

“Maybe it’s my sensibility, because changeling.”

>…

“I am that.”

>…

“…It’s neat.”

>…

“…You want some of my soda?”

>…

“That’s alright, it’s gone now anyway.”

>…

“…Your vest is cool.”

>…Do you mind?

“Oh no no, get back to what you were doing.”

>DAMN YOUUUUU!

“She’s having fun.”

>>29116188
DAMN YOU ALL TO HELLLLLL

>>29116188
So seriously, is this building up to her about to go snap and kill everybody?

>SA
“Chrysalis”
‘Celestia’
~~~~~

‘Happy Hearth Warming!’

>Heyyy! Look who showed up.

‘Yes! It’s me! The mare who… had no possible way of knowing we were doing this. Why are we doing this? Is this a sugarcube corner thing?’

“I was just getting cupcakes.”

‘For… wait, for our order? That was forever ago!’

“These ponies work slow.”

‘Lies!’

>Don’t want to take sides here-

“Oh, Shiny, you can have whatever side of me you want. HAH!”

>-but she’s right, they’re slower than normal. Holiday rush?

‘Ironic name.’

“More like holiday slush.”

>…did you guys just feel really old for some reason?

‘I feel that every day.’

“Nope, still smooth and sexy baby! HAH!”

>I feel old.

“Should we tell him?”

‘Let him live in a world where his pittance is considered old for just a little longer…”

>…Need to get me a surfboard.

‘IT BEGINS!”

>>29116561
Midlife crisis is a go!

>>29116741
>I'm going to bang a million mares get me a hot car and rock out!

"..."

>Wait.

>>29116188
>Did Ah' ever tell you, in my timeline, we developed nukes?

"Nope. What's a nuke?"

CLICK

BOOOOOOOOMMMMM

"..."

>It's that.

>>29115891
Fuck, poor pumchbug...

>>29115581
If that one gig we joked about making real with all the different versions happened, she would just shoot herself.

>>29117622
>Howdy! Ah'm Applejack 1458!

"And Ah'm Applejack 500!"

'BZZT! Applejack 89034 reporting in!'

~...Yep.~

BLAM!

>Pinkie
"Maud"
'Limestone'
~Marble~
(Igneous)
{Cloudy}
~~~~

>TA-DAAA!

(It is impressive.)

{But smaller.}

'Yeah, like, this is way smaller than your last one was.'

>It's a trial run!

~The trial run came... after the big one?~

>Can we just enjoy this?

'What are we supposed to be enjoying?'

>This is your Hearthwarming present!

"Does that mean we now own Partyland?"

(That is a rather big gift.)

{We are impressed.}

'That's awesome!'

~Oh my...~

>Wha-NO! It's that you can all play on it!

"That's not as impressive."

'Way to lower the bar, Pinkie!'

~I wanted to own a roller coaster.~

(Our hopes have been dashed. Do you not love us?)

{The final dagger through our heart.}

>Wha-buh-nuhhh I- this is- of course I... um..

"..."

'...'

(...)

{...}

~....pft.~

{I knew she would break first.}

>Wha?

'PFFTTAAHHAHAHAHAHAAA!'

(Daughter, you have brought me shame. You should have easily outlasted Limestone.)

~I'm sorrry, she's just too cute.~

{Aye, the look on her face will last my lifetime.}

"My laughter will never end."

>...YOU ALL SUCK!

>>29117981
PP's parents are criminally underused.

>>29118159
DAMN right they are

Goodnight thread

>>29118636
San to. You sleepy pql

Morning /pa/ls

>>29118159
A lot of our characters are criminally underused... We have a fuckhuge cast.

>>29119446
Goodooood morning!

>>29119552
There just isn't enough time in the thread to devote to all of them, a fact of life

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE, /PA/LS!

Holy shit, another year we've survived... fucking insane.

>Granny Smith
"Big Mac"
'Applebloom'
~~~

>Ya'll ready!?

"Eeeeyup!"

'Yuhhh huh!'

>Hoooey! Ah' can't wait for the look on her face when we show up.

'She ain't never gonna see us coming!'

"Ya'll still sure she's in Canterlot?"

>Boy, do Ah' look like a fool? Course Ah'm sure! Ah' bribed the ticket fella at the train station ta' make sure she doesn't head out that way, and bribed the weather patrol to keep them on the lookout iffin' she tries to fly. They'd have warned me if either happened.

'That's... kinda stalkerish.'

>Ain't stalkin' iffin' it's yer' kin!

"That don't seem right?"

>Just like yer' eyes ain't gonna look in the right direction iffin' you keep giving me sass!

"Retracted."

>Good call! Yep! She's for sure in Canterlot, and she's about to get the surprise of her life!

'...Wait, ain't there a-'

>Don't you poke holes in mah' plan, missy!

'Retracted.'

>It's gonna be the best... hearth's warming... ever!

>>29120767
Haaaa.

Mistaken identity hijinks, go!

>>29120913
>Apppbloom hugs her
>AUJ falls over and starts crying
>Everyone is hella confused

>>29120706
Same to you oh /pa/l of mine.

>SA
"Celestia"
'Chrysalis'
~~~~

>You know, you two could help. This cake is heavy, and last I checked, you both could literally destroy mountains with your brains.

"I'm giving you motivation."

>How?

"I promise I will hug you a lot if you make it over to Cadence. You will get all of the hugs."

>...hugs are nice...

"They are!"

'I promise to do waayyyy sexier things than hugs.'

>Now, see, that's kinda ruining the gentle warmness of the idea of getting hugged by my sunhorse.

"Don't ruin my gentle warmness!"

'I'm just saying, the offer is there, if you want to avoid it because you don't want any, that's fine, but booty is on the table, or rather...'

>...Motivated!

"Wait, what?"

>Don't ask.

'He needs it.'

"What does he need?'

>Don't! Ask!

"...I'mma still hug you."

>And my legs are going to break. Why are cakes in this world so heavy!?

"They're made of love, and love is a tangible thing in this reality that causes spells and lasers to happen."

'Witnessed!'

>...Damn it, that makes too much sense for this nonsensical world.

'HAH!'

>>29121341
Best pair moments!

Even if Chrysalis does gotta ruin it.

>Acty
"JJ"
'???'
~~~

"Why do we gotta do this?"

>Come on, dude, you promised.

"But this is so... painful."

>I know, but you've just gotta grit your teeth and bear it.

"It hurts!"

>It's going to hurt for a while, but it'll mean soooo much to me.

"I'd better get something in return here."

>We'll switch later.

"You mean it!?"

>I do! I really do. I'll get through it just like you are now.

"Awww, thanks."

>Hey... anything for my number one juggle buddy.

"Awww."

>Now clench those teeth, swallow your pride, and hold on... it's about to get started.

"Nnngghhh."

>I know, it's going to hurt for a while, you won't sit straight for days, but...

'ACTY WACKKYYY!'

>It's worth-GLK!

"SPIIINE!"

'Oh, your mother will be so happy!'

>>29120706
>Holy shit, another year we've survived... fucking insane.

Long live the princess.

>Twilight
"Rarity"
'Dash'
~Fluttershy~
~~~~

>Oh no! Someone's used the portal, and the alternate Applejack is nowhere to be seen! Do you know what that means!?

"...That she went over to the Empire? We just have the one portal, it goes in exactly one place... come to think of it-"

>Don't you start! I got enough of that from her!

"I understand completely and will stop."

'I just want to see if this Applejack is as strong as the normal one. I think I can take her.'

>Apparently she manged to hit Chrysalis hard enough to knock her out of Canterlot.

'Soooo, yes?'

~Please don't start a fight.~

'Says the all powerful super pony!'

~Who threatens to consume all life as she knows if if she has a bad day.~

'...You sure take the fun out of everything for someone who can turn the streets into cotton candy.'

~It's a gift.~

>Well, we clearly have to go after her!

"Of course!... Then what?"

>Tell her the changelings aren't invading, presumably.

'You didn't tell her that the changelings were living there and that two of them run major sections of the city!?'

>It slipped my mind!

'How!?'

>...You know, you're being a real Alterjack right now.

~That's not going to be a thing.~

"I would love to make it a thing! Currently it's 'pulling a Rarity' whenever someone messes up, but I will gladly give her my title!"

'Let's just get over there before she starts hitting Eighteen, and Cadence bites her head off.'

>You're strangely sure about that last part. Not worried about the baby?

'Is alicorn head bad for babies or something? Maybe she'll just snap her neck like a run over puppy.'

"Sweet merciful heavens, Rainbow Dash!"

>WHOA!

~That's... kind of disturbing.~

'What's more disturbing, that? Or Two seeing AJ Prime getting her head bitten off?'

>Annnd, let's get going.

"Off we go!"

'... what?'

~Fluttershy will remember this.~

'...Meh, I've done stupider.'

>>29122191
>~Fluttershy will remember this.~

Bonus points if the letters showed up.

>>29121887
/PA/4LYFE

>Two
"Guard"
~~~

"...Mother of the Crystal Heart."

So much wrapping paper.

So, so much wrapping paper.

Everywhere, on every surface, in every corner, across the entire floor, and up every ceiling.

So, so much wrapping paper.

So very much.

The answer to who had caused such a storm of dead plantlife was already not very mysterious, but when a blonde haired head of chitin popped up from the ocean of color, that last visage of doubt had gone.

>Good news, Mister Shatterhoof! Ah' finished wrappin' mah' presents! Yayyyyy!

The princess turned around to survey her work, a smile on her face.

>...Now could'ja help me find them?

He didn't say a single word.

He just pulled out his chainsaw, and his flamethrower.

>...that ain't gonna be enough.

>>29122747
>He just pulled out his chainsaw, and his flamethrower.

WOW, that could be read the wrong way so easy.

>>29122941
>Implying if anyone tried that, they wouldn't be smote like the fist of an angry god.
>Not anyone in particular doing the smiting, just whoever was walking around at the moment.

File: Fluttershy tries to Boob Grab.jpg (1MB, 1600x896px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1600x896px

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Fluttershy]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but we can't let you think we're dead!

[I-I'm the sh-shy one!]

"I'm the pretty one. <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main segment...PINKIE'S DREAMHOUSE!!!'"

[Yay.]

>So Fluttershy, what would you like for Hearth's Warming?

[Um...I don't know. Anything, as long as it was thoughtful.]

>Great. How about a severance pay?

"'Yaaaay!'"

A banner lowers down saying Sleep in Peace Fluttershy.
[...What?]

>You're...actually too expensive to keep as a host, so we have to cut you from the show!

"You're not pink anyway."

Fluttershy looks to DT.
'...Meh.'

>You'll always be an honorary Pink!

"Even though she's not pink!"

'...eh.'

[O-okay...]

>You definitely have a spot here as a guest!

Cadence blows a party horn.
"Welcome to the going away party!"

'And that's all the time we have, sooo~'

>"'Byyyyyye!'"

Fluttershy wakes up to a note and a check.
[...Merry Christmas. What's Christmas?]
She looks at the check.
[WHOA!]

>AUJ
"???"
'Various'
~~~

>Found you.

The throne room. The seat of the crystal Empire's power. The land where all things grand and small within this place were decided. Where the very fate of the future of the country rested on the shoulders of those who called themselves it's rulers.

Or so she had once believed.

From what she had seen, a great many doubts plagued her mind at such a thing. The chances that there had been a secret change to those who run the offices most high, the threat of invasion not of the flying and destructive kind but one more sinister that cut just as deep was rapidly becoming the forethought in her mind.

She would not stand for such a thing.

She knew the threat of being lazy, of letting others handle matters one would rather not deal with and consumed by the ease they provided as they took up every scrap of work that would otherwise weigh them down. The freedom to move while others toiled away seemingly of their own volition was a tempting thought. A temptation she would quite easily attribute to a certain princess who, in her world, had desired freedom above all others.

A thought she had naively believed the one of this world to be above, for a time. A time passed, and put behind her.

If everyone else wanted to accept this obvious move, that was their problem. She, as a princess of any world, had an obligation not to let something like this pass. She had an obligation to put her hoof down before matters got too far, and she had very little restraint on the matter regarding it. She was going to kick that door down, march in there, and if this world wanted to open itself up to the ruins she had struggled to keep the Empire of her world from falling prey to, she was going to slam those doors right in that ruination's face until it was a broken and sobbing mess on the ground, and then she was going to finish that job with one final slam of anything it took, up to and including annexation.

Her metaphors had gotten violent recently.

1/9

>>29123656

Instead of confronting that, she took the much more preferable route, turning them from metaphor into hard reality. Hard, leg bucking reality.

She hadn't seen the south side of a tree in over a year, but she still brought it when it came to putting those legs to work.

>PRINCESS CADENZA MI AMORE!

Her scream was loud, it was powerful, and it would have been utterly terrifying had anyone actually been in the room to hear it.

"Yes?"

>GAH!

She flipped apples over head when she turned around, her wings lifting her just high enough to make that somersault happen before landing with a stoic and determined face that tried it's damnedest to cover her earlier little misstep in the most unassuming and unflinching of ways.

>...Princess Cadence.

Her look turned more solid than a cockatrices glare, her glasses seeming to glow as if ignited from the burning heat she was laying down on the one who, against it all, never stopped smiling.

"Waiiitt... are you that alternate Applejack?"

>Ah' am. And Ah' would like to-

"HIIIIII!"

The pink hoof grabbed hold before a single action could be taken in defense, and quickly followed up with a rapid up and down slamming that threatened to dislodged the limb at any moment.

"Nice to meet you! I'm princess Cadence of this world! Shiny didn't get a chance to ask what your world one is like, but it's nice to meet you anyway! I'm sure you have a lot of questions!"

>Ah' do, and-

"I'm almost due, actually! Thanks for noticing!"

>Kinda hard to miss, but Ah'm actually-

"Is that a fat joke!?"

>Wha? No, Ah'-

"Ha, it's okay, I know I'm super fat."

>You're not fat, you're-

"Big boned doesn't work when I have literal tiny bones inside of me right now... wow, that came out weird."

>Noticing a theme on that-

"But yeah! You actually arrived at the perfect time, you might still be here when it's time for the baby to come!"

>Ah' hope not-

"Awww, I'm sure your friends miss you too. Is your Cadence pregnant?"

2/9

>>29123663

>She is not, she's also not-

"Pretty? Please say pretty. I might not spend six hours on my looks anymore, but I don't want to get beaten in looks by AlterCaddy. Caudence? That's stupid."

>Agreed, but-

"You know what? Nevermind, because all I know is my Shiny is hotter than your Shiny."

>Not sure about that, but-

"Oh oh! Have you met Two yet?"

>The changeling? Yeah, she's-

"Adorabbblle! I know! She can't wait to be a big sister!"

>Happy for her, but about the changelings-

"Which ones? Because if the ones in the stadium are bothering you, I'll squirt them with water. Don't think I won't do it, I have one specially labeled for it and filled with that really stagnant stuff. You know, the stuff you leave out for like a week and them come back and it smells funny and has floating bits? That."

>That sounds kind of gross, but-

"It is, is it too far?"

>Ah'm probably the wrong one to answer that-

"Ha ha! just kidding, I don't care. Teach them to go at my cake."

>When you say cake-

"Triple chocolate frosted cherry topped icecream cake with sprinkles!"

>That is a real weird craving-

"Craving? Pfft, I can just finally eat it now and not worry I'm going to get fat. Who cares! It's the baby!"

>Truly the perfect cover up, but Ah've seen some really disturbing stuff on my trip here-

"I swear the one who writes fanfiction is harmless."

>Doubt that, those ones always seem to be the worst, but-

"No, we don't know what the deal with the juggling one is."

>WILL YOU LET ME-

'APPPPPLLEEEJJAAACKKKK!'

Just like that, she'd gone deathly silent. Keen, sharp ears flicked back and fourth as they honed in on the sound that had stolen her breath as it had, but it was too late. They could not swivel in time to the voice, or the tiny thumping of hooves on flooring, until it was past the point of no return.

A tiny, yellow and red blur latched onto her side, and she became a statue, only alive in the most broad sense of the word.

'Supprrrriiissseee!'

3/9

>>29123669

Though the filly smiled a mile wide with feelings to share, the stare that looked down on her held everything but feeling inside of it. It was deathly and hollow, empty and flat.

'What in tarnation are you wearin'!? Sugar cube, where is yer' hat? And what is goin' on with those glasses!'

It intensified, if anything that emptiness impossibly sucked even more into the void of her expression when her head craned up to look at two others far more casually walking down the hallway and towards her. Two smiling, if confused faces that made her mouth become a straight line razor thin, and left her without breath.

'Jackie? Ya'll okay?'

She stared openly, without shame to the two casually walking up to her, concern real on both of their faces. The words had come from the taller one, the exact copy of her brother, but from the sound of rushing blood in her ears it may as well have come from a talking lamp post for all the distinction she could make.

They stared right back, their unease and concern only growing, and all she could do was stare.

"Oooooh dear. Um, everyone? That's not-"

'THAT THERE IS AN ALTERNATE ME FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION!"

The voice, the same one they had all expected to come out of their current center of attention, made nearly all of them jump. Only the princess of love stayed rooted to the ground, for obvious reasons.

'That's not me, Ah'm me! The real me! Don't hug her!'

"WHICH ONE DO I SHOOT!?'

Both versions, angry one and previously frozen one, jumped at that, and the pink mare at least had the decent to look embarrassed while she powered down her horn.

"Sorry, force of habit."

'Uh huh... As Ah' was sayin', don't hug her! Because Ah' want ta' get some hugs, come over here!'

There was a cold spot on her side when the filly detached, and rushed over to her elated sister.

There was a cold spot somewhere else when the other two joined in for a fourway family hug.

4/9

>>29123675

'What're ya'll doin' here? Ah' thought you were gettin' everything ready down at the farm for the holidays!'

'Naaawww, we decided to mix it up fer' once! Iffin' yer' gonna be runnin' around, we figured we're gonna chase right after you!'

'Granny..'

'We were supposed to do it in Canterlot, though! Why'd ya' have ta' run down here?'

'Ya'll know how it is. Other me comes from another dimension gotta deal with that, same old same old.'

'Haw haw!'

There was a warmth to the family's laughter, something that made her fur tingle in a way that couldn't be described, only experienced.

'Well, shoot, iffin' we're gonna have a party, we'd better get the whole crew-'

'AH HAH! I told you, aimless wandering always works!'

Four other very familiar faces suddenly rushed in, all four of them carried on wings that only two of them had held once upon a time that seemed forever ago. Four of her friends that had been with her through so much.

Or at least, versions of them she only barely recognized.

'Darrrling!... And Alterjack.'

'We are not calling her that.'

'But Twilight, are you not a lover of properly labeling things?'

'...Damn.'

'Pfft, I could take her.'

'Dash no.'

'Don't tell me how to live!'

'Well then, could someone tell me why none of you are helping me carry this!?'

Yet more arrivals, so perfectly timed it seemed divine, trotted down the halls. Two tall, immortal leaders of their subjects, and one poor unlucky stallion who looked ready to collapse.

'You can do it, Shiny!'

'So close! Soooo cloooose!'

'I can help I can help I can help-'

The changeling from before, the one with hair so very like the stallion's beloved wife, charged forwards in a boundless eagerness to be helpful.

Only to slam right on her nose when someone stuck out their leg to trip her.

'PINKIE!'

5/9

>>29123682

'Reflex, I swear that was a prank reflex! Totally reflexive and not reflective! Teeny, I'm sorry!'

The changeling on the ground let out a groan, quickly helped up by a stone grey mare who wore a face almost as blank as her own. Behind her, an entire troop of family members on her tail.

'Pinkie? What are you doing here? I thought you went with your family this year.'

'I did! See?'

'...Should I question it?'

'Nope!'

'Okay.'

'Okaly dokaly!... You okay, Teeny?'

'Ow.'

'Why couldn't it have been Dash?'

So wrapped up in the crowd, she hadn't even heard the beat of yellow wings until she was practically overhead.

'Wait, are you asking why couldn't it have been me who tripped, or me who did the tripping presumably so you could call it an act of war or something?'

'Yes.'

'...Nice to see you too, Spitfire.'

'Not mutual.'

'Ah ahh, well at least you're- wait, why are you holding that rocket launcher?'

'Preparation just in case.'

'Should... should I ask?'

'Yes, just so I can laugh in your face.'

'...Well I'm not going to do it now.'

'Win win for me.'

'Spitfire, be nice.'

The pegasus shrugged at the groaning comment from down below. But for all the former wonderbolt glared, shockingly she seemed to heed the stallions words, and grew silent.

'Well, it's a Hearth Warming miracle!'

The room grew strangely quieter at that, leaving just enough to hear slow, methodical and heavy steps as another squeezed into the room, given a wide breadth by any nearby, and a hoof outreached anytime it looked like the helmeted changeling would stumble.

'Hi, Forty Two!'

'Hello, Pinkie. Nice to see you again.'

'I got you a present!'

'Thank you. I did as well. I hope it's satisfactory.'

'...Daughter, is this the one you spoke of?'

'No, father, the changeling I mentioned is the nervous one. This is the other one.'

'Ah... I do not see the resemblance, Maud.'

'Everyone repeats it in error, clearly.'

Nobody chose to comment on that one.

6/9

>>29123692

'Well hoooey! Looks ta' me like the gangs all here!'

A green withered body scrambled atop her grandson's back, using his added height to survey the situation with blurry and old eyes.

'Well, iffin' everyone's here, why don't we have the shindig down thisaway? We already got the most important things!'

'Wait, weren't we already-'

'Shhhh, Chrysalis. Let her think it was her idea.'

'Let's get this here hearthwarming party started!'

The declaration, and idea of dropping everything to party in the middle of the throne room was met with a single, collective shrug.

And an even more single, collective acceptance.

'Ah'm down. Come on y'all!'

Those with magic turned the place into a holiday wonderland in no time at all. A few spells here, a few there, and it was done.

And before they knew it, it had almost begun.

'Oh! Alterjack, if that's what we're calling you, didn't you want to ask me something? Something about changelings?'

It was only now that they noticed that she'd been silent the whole time, that the visitor this world had not moved a muscle, had not said a peep, and had not even so much as blinked.

When her jaw finally opened, they swore they heard a crack of stone breaking.

'Ah'...'

She looked over all of them, faces she recognized, and some she didn't. Some looked so close to what she remembered last, some looked so changed she barely recognized them. She looked to them, everyone, and came to her answer.

'...Ah'll drill ya' later.'

A single, beautiful eyebrow rose, but nothing more than a shrug came from the pink princess or any others.

'Wait, we're not all here, where's-'

The answer the stallion asked was answered with a rumble. A rumble, and a crinkle, and a storm.

'LOOK OUUUUT!'

7/9

>>29123699

A wave of wrapping paper, so thick it touched floor to ceiling in the hallway, rushed in. Atop it, riding a guard like a surfboard, was the precarious bouncing changeling she'd witnessed before, her face a mixture of the time of her life and utter terror.

'TEENY! IT'S ALIVE! HELP!'

The pink haired changeling suddenly rose, and she struck a dramatic pose as she pointed her hoof straight the incoming wave.

From the adjacent door, white paper suddenly burst in and clashed against the festive wrapping material. She swore, and she did so knowing she would call it a bout of insanity the next day, but she swore she heard something inside of the depth of crinkling paper roar. The clash dislodged the little one, who landed straight into welcoming white and paternal arms with a giggle.

The guard beneath her strangely found himself in red, stronger and far less giggly limbs. No one was quite sure what to make of the little wave he did.

Or that Big Macintosh didn't immediately drop him.

'Now that's how you start a party!'

Despite the absurdity and the continuing roars, there was no fear on any face as the entire group charged into the fray, bearing whatever it was they felt like baring at the storm.

She however just watched, her glasses fogging up slightly, and never moving an inch to join them. She was an outsider to their world, and in this moment, she felt it.

Even so, she felt something strangely warm bubble in her chest as she watched them, all together, in a way she hadn't seen in a long, long time.

>...Maybe bein' here.. ain't so bad.

If nothing else, it was a sight to see.

>...Wait, someone's still missin'.

It took her a moment, longer than it should, to finally place it.

The last puzzle piece came down not from her own memory, but the sound directly behind her.

'Oh come on, that's just... cruel...'

8/9

>>29123711

She blinked, and turned around. There, as expected, was the little dragon that she had noted absent from it all.

However, his eyes were certainly not where they had been expected. They were firmly locked a little lower. Much, much lower than they should be.

'...Do she-'

In all the chaos, nobody heard his body smack into the wall, the result of a solid and offended kick right into it.

Despite said chaos, somehow, everyone heard him as he slid his way down.

'She dooooooo...'

If it was going to be a wonder.

If it was going to be a horror.

Regardless, somehow, she felt like this Hearth's Warming was going to be one to remember.

>...Ah' wonder what everyone's doing back home...

>>29123720
Oh, Spike.

56 would be proud.

>>29123720
PAPERWORK MONSTER
VS
WRAPPING PAPER STORM

WHOEVER WINS
WE LOSE

>>29123951
Obviously the wrapping paper monster will lose, but return each year after regaining its strength!

>>29123720
>Everyone's together for Christmas

HNNNNGGG!

...But what happened to those Chitty13 Chirstmas specials that one guy wanted?

>>29123973
>Every year, the Paperwork grows a little thinner
>And the Wrapping Paper only grows stronger

Mother of god...

>>29124126
Indeed! And at that final battle when all have failed and even the gods have fallen... With their last dying gasp... The TG will whisper... That's a wrap...

>>29124164
I feel like a monster for laughing at that.

>>29123720
Merry Christmas, pals.

>>29124593
And a very merry Christmas to you, anon.

Yeaahhhh Christmas!

File: Screenshot-1112.jpg (1MB, 1600x896px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1600x896px

Fluttershy actually has good dance moves.

>>29125596
Good Christmas Morning /pa/ls!

>>29126104
Good Christmas morning to you as well!

>>29126115
MERRYYYY CHRISTMAS!

>???
“???”
‘Screwloose’
~~~

>You’re doing it wrong! Again! Again you’re doing it wrong, what the fuck, why can’t you just do it RIGHT for once?

“Fuck. You. Fuck you and the horse that bore you, I AM doing it right! You’re the one who’s wrong, you bone-headed bumpkin!”

Something that closely resembled an animatronic hoof flew clear over Screwloose’s head, the wind of it causing her ear to twitch. She didn’t let that near-miss stop her, but her tail did whip about in annoyance when it missed the intended target and shattered against the wall.

A violent, borderline suicide-inducing insult sprang to her mind and her mouth sprang open in kind… but a certain changeling’s placating words drifted through her mind, and she closed her maw, exhaling with determination.

“EH! Watch that, man! That almost hit me!”

>Almost ain’t good enough, I need to try again, tighten my aim.

“Oh, you were actually trying to hit me?”

>I sure as spit wasn’t trying to hit the homicidal mare between us, now was I?

“No, of course not, you could barely stand to hit a mare in any of our games, and those weren’t even real!”

Foal steps… little, tiny foal steps. Progress was progress no matter how small, and that was the thought Screwloose clung to like a life raft as she moved about the miniature lab, picking up clutter and balled up paper notes from the day before. Each wad represented a failed attempt on their part, which represented a burning hole of ire seared onto Screwloose’s pride.

Her specialty lie in biology, the study and configuration of living organisms from their growth, evolution, distribution- that was her realm, that’s how she exercised her own brand of magic, it’s where she excelled. So, naturally, they weren’t going to put her into a position of power right off the bat, not without a lengthy bit of humbling and corrective surveillance…

1/2

>>29126725

>Hey, you got that script for this part? The motions are janky and all over the place.

“Which part and what script? I have a bunch of scripts, like, all the scripts, for nearly every part. Give me something more specific. Are you trying to tweak a previous one or do you want a clean base?”

>Fuck me, I don’t know, whatever will get this leg to quit jerking like it’s in incredibly agony. It’s giving me phantom pains.

“That poor leg.”

Their overseer was Twilight, a finalized decision that came about after a month of deliberation, and Screwloose was given a small workspace and the menial tasks Twilight often shuffled off to the side. Currently, Screwloose and her helpers were trying to create a smoother walk cycle for some robotics. Really entry-level assignments that caused her eyes to cross. Robotics and natural biology were about as far from each other as could be… but…

‘…pull out the file from two weeks ago, script two-sixty. We’ll see if we can’t tweak that one.’

…she was never one to shirk away from a challenge.

>Gotcha, boss mare. Yo, Gaffy, you heard her.

“On it, 8-Bit.”

As the two moved to get things set up for the inevitable failure, Screwloose couldn’t help but smile. Hearthwarming season was annoyingly infectious, from the mane-freezing snow to the blinding lights strung up at every corner, but this was her present, and she would make the best of-

“WATCH OUT!”

And she continued to smile even as she snatched a confused Gaffer in front of her just in time for him to catch a very thick book to the face in her stead.

>OOMPH!

‘This is great. Everything’s fine.’

2/2

I assume nobody had plans for those two so I'm gonna try something.

>>29123720
>dat spike moment
Thumbs up, buddy, thumbs up.

>>29125088
A little louder, Bulky, it's Christmas after all.

>>29126762
>A little louder, Bulky, it's Christmas after all.

YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>29125596
>FREEE
>FREEEEEEEE

>>29126734
...Let's see whee this goes.

MERRY MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMASSS
WOOOOO

>>29126734
Stories on christmas!?

MADNESS!

>>29127616
That's a /pa/l for you.

>AJ
"AUJ"
~~~

>So, how ya' likin' the party?

"It's loud, there's no alcohol, there's no room, everything looks slapped together, and all the food will give you diabetes."

>So?

"...So yeah, it's pretty fun."

>Atta' gal

>>29128285
DAMN STRAIGHT

>>29125596
Evacuate the dancefloor!

No, really, run, it looks like she's broken her spine.

hope you guy got everything you wanted

>>29129330
They've yet to make my living AJ doll, so I settled for a giant mashmallow.

>>29123720
>You create a whole other being just to mock me with!?
>DAMN YOU FAUUUSTT!

>SA
"Two"
~~~

>Why'd you have all this wrapping paper anyway?

"Ah' was makin' presents."

>Ah. I see.

"It ate them."

>That it did.

"Can ya' get them back?"

>...Two? Remember that bottle I told you to never, ever touch?

"There's a lotta those."

>Tall one.

"Yep!"

>Touch it just long enough to give it to me.

"GOTCHA!... Now what?'

POP!

>Bombs away.

CHUCK!

"..."

>...

"...What's that supposed to-'

~BLLAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!~

"MAH PRESENTS! Shiny, how'd you know!?... Shiny?"

Goodnight, beloved /pa/ls.

This holiday was wonderful for me, I hope the same for all of you.

>>29130411
Shiny sacrificed his cleanliness and dignity by feeding the wrapping paper monster ipecac to make it hurl up the peasants... Best Dad!

>>29130675
Night my fellow applefag

Well, that distraction was fun. But soon we should return to it, and new changes...

So, who is confirmed dead in the AU?

Immediate guesses are Shining and Applebloom

>>29132057
nobody, but Chrysalis as is almost certain

>>29132248
Bug buttons is super dead.

>>29132248
Pretty sure Shining bit the bullet Anon, and AB might not be dead but might have been severally injured at some point without an AJ to keep her in line.

>>29132057
Nobody is confirmed confirmed, but Chrysalis, Shining, Applebloom and her family, and Celestia all have a lot of red flags that could swing one way or the other.

Shit, I guess everyone except the other six, technically? She laid out that everyone of the six is fine, and Blueblood is still alive, so's Cadence probably, but other than that we just don't know.

>Pinkie
"AUJ"
~~~

>Wooooow! You look cool Alternate AJ!

"Thanks?"

>Though I'm not sure about the glasses.

"Ah' hurt my eyes from staring at the paperwork for so long."

>Don't you have like, super special regeneration?

"It's got limits."

>That's... worrying?

"Cost of getting shit done."

>Uh huh... so! How's other-me doing in your universe?

"Okay."

>...Just okay?

"Not a whole lot for you to do. You stay down in Ponyville, working in Sugar Cube Corner most days. You still throw your parties all the time, but there's just nothing much else that needs your attention."

>Not even you being a sourpuss?

"Ah' stopped that shit raw, do not have time to be dealing with you bouncing around like that when Ah'm trying to work."

>...You seem like fun.

"My Pinkie says the exact opposite."

>Clearly, your Pinkie doesn't see the... wonder on the inside?

"..."

>...Want me to throw you a 'welcome to this universe' party?

"We're in a party right now."

>Double Party!

"No."

>...You and me are going to get along great.

"Doubt it, Ah've got a lot of questions about this here... Partyland? Biggest one right out the gate, did you have a diabetic stroke?"

>...greeeeaattt.

File: 3__2__1___by_scootiebloom-d9fajye.png (1MB, 1421x1000px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1421x1000px

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but we wrap things up!

"I'm the pretty one. <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main segment...PINKIE'S DREAMHOUSE!!!'"

>So I hope everypony had a great Christmas!

"You still never explained Christmas."

'You're really asking Pinkie to explain things?'

"Point taken."

>Last time I gave everypony husbandos and waifus, but this year I'm focused on you girls. You'll be getting Hearth's Warming gifts when you wake up.

Cadence wakes up.
"Oh hey, it's a bow and arrow!"

DT wakes up.
'Huh...a power hoof.'

>>29132681
>Pretty sure Shining bit the bullet Anon,

Maybe, or maybe...

Saayyyy, Remember that one idea we had back at the start?

>>29133298
Short, but still sweet.

>Granny
"AUJ"
~~~

>Ah' didn't get'cha a present.

"Well, seeing as how Ah' just got here, can't really blame you."

>Sugar Cube, why you talkin' funny like that?

"Like what?"

>Yer' speech! It's all goobly and weird!

"Ah' don't know what you're talking about."

>There! Right there! Yer' talkin' all wrong!

"This is how Ah' always talk."

>No it ain't! Yer' an Apple! Talk like one!

"Don't know what that means."

>Talk better!

"...You're pretty close to my granny Smith, want you to know."

>Iffin' she let you talk like that, she done somethin' wrong! How'd she let it all fall apart!?

"..Don'tchu be talkin' bout mah' granny, ah'll buck your wrinkly ass."

>Better!

"...what!?"

>>29133442
Das some Granny love.

>>29133442
>AUJ still loves her granny
>second best family princess confirmed

>>29133603
Doy

>>29133202
AUJ is the best thing to happen to me since discussing Chitania, I love her.

>>29134601
Shes a treat.n

>AB
“18”
~~~~

>Miss Eighteen? Do you have some paper Ah’ can have?

“My life is paper. I am the end of all things paper. When a lumber mill sleeps, I am what they see in their darkest hour, for I am the heaven and the light all shall move to in their greatest of moments.”

>… so is that a yes?

“Yep! But why?”

>Ah’ve got two sisters now, so guess Ah’ gotta make another macaroni picture really quick before the holidays.

“Aren’t you a little old to be giving those for a present?”

>No, yer’ right, guess Ah’ll just go down to the store and plop out all the money Ah’ don’t have.

“Er, right, forgot-“

>No no! Then Ah’ll make sure to count out all the nonexistent bits Ah’ ain’t got, then the shopkeeper’s just gonna give me a look and go ‘sorry miss, we can’t accept this currency!’ Then Ah’ gotta find a store that’ll take nothing on Hearth’s Warming. You know how far Ah’ gotta look for that!? It’s the holidays!

“I get it-“

>And then Ah’m gonna be wanderin’ the streets, looking for someone who’ll take mah’ hoof full of nothing, when bam! Ninjas!

“Ninjas?”

>NINJAS Eighteen! Ninjas are gonna pop outta nowhere and sell me to the dang circus!

“Why the circus-“

>Weren’t you paying attention? It’s the holidays! They got bills to pay! You think black cloak and ninja stars are free!? The ninja stars don’t come back, Eighteen! Ya’ throw then and then they’re just done!

“Okay, I get the point-“

>And then Ah’m gonna have to live with the circus, being a performer for years before turning to a life of crime, twisted beyond what Ah’ was into something new. And then, someday in the future, when Ah’m finally stopped, Applejack’s gonna pull back the hood and realize… the dancing pony was her sister all along.

“…”

>…

“…Here’s your paper.”

>Thanks! Yer’ nice.

“…so I take it your afraid of circuses-“

>ANYONE WHO HIRES CLOWNS ARE EVIL!

>>29134825
>
is this really the first time theyve talked?

>>29134929
... I'm almost certain this is in fact the first time they've talked.