My Little Progress : Technology Isn't Magic - Thread 37

first

>>29033907
Kys

>>29033810
>Science is always represented by chemistry
When will this meme end?

>>29034384
That meme feels like it goes back to the days of alchemists... so probably not for a long while.

First bump of the thread

soon ... >>29032235

>"Mmmph... Surface remains s...soft n' squishy...but firm at two inches...
"Twilight."
>"rear support remains despite num....ber of trials...
"Twilight."
>Twilight yawned and looked up at you from her bundle of blankets
>correction
>YOUR bundle of blankets
>for you are Anon, master of the bed before you
>or at least you were
>Twilight had run herself ragged trying to examine every piece of tech in your dimensionally transposed room
>you told her to go to sleep
>unfortunately when she decided to sleep, she decided to "examine" your memory-foam bed at the same time
>two birds with one stone, she said
>and now you've got a little purple princess with her ad-hoc snugglebunker on your mattress
>groaning in frustration, you wrap your arms around the thick blanket bundle and try to lift her off
>the weight of the blankets and her relaxed posture made it very difficult, especially when you have to bend over to do it
>the little bundle wriggles in your hands
>"Anonymous, no! If you reset the experiment now all my data will be gone!"
"Get out of my bed, Twilight!"
>Twilight poked her head out of the blanket bundle and glared at you, the bags under here bloodshot eyes adding weight to her stare
>"If you don't want me conducting my experiment here, Anon, then I would be perfectly happy to take samples."
>you hesitate. The last thing you want is to have purplesmart cut up your bed
>it was a good bed
>you glare at each other
>finally you sigh in defeat
"Fine. Just move over."
>the couches are too small anyway
>Twilight squeaks in glee and the blanket bundle scoots over.
>you climb into bed and yank off one of the blankets from her bundle
>As you snuggle in, you can hear her mutter under the covers
>"Motion transfer is minimal, even with substantial weight increase..."
>you close your eyes as you sink into the memory foam mattress
>you'll probably push her off the bed in the middle of the night anyway
>but for now, sleep
>and sleep came easy
>such is life in tempurquestria

>>29036074
hey, where's that screencap of all the such-is-life stories? this and that one last thread needs to be added to it

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>>29036074
>>"Motion transfer is minimal, even with substantial weight increase..."
>substantial weight increase
"Did you just call me fat, Twilight Porkle?"

>>29035976
Here you go, Anon.

>You’re very lucky that you nationalized everything when you did, because a few weeks later, your secretary leads a few ponies into a conference room in the AMC offices.
>You sit in the corner, silently waiting as the top AMC executives shuffle in the room.
>When they all arrive, you get up, shut the door, and motion to a map of Lancaster, where AMC’s various factories and warehouses are marked in red.
>The industrial district looks like it has the chicken pox.
“This is getting out of hand.”
>The assortment of several ponies and a griffon turn to look at the map, and then back at you.
“At about 11:45 yesterday morning, our production hit its upper limit again, only this time opening a new factory is cost-prohibitive. My original plan was to build the A-Series on an assembly line by model year 1910, and that hasn’t changed. I’m sure you’ve all seen the diagrams.”
>You receive various nods of confirmation.
“Well we can’t do that if production is scattered around the city. If we truly wish to build a car for the people, we must make the switch. Building the A-Series right now is too expensive for my liking, and it just got to the point where we can’t do anything else. Luckily, I have a connection in City Planning.”
>You get a few chuckles from that one.
“I propose we consolidate production into one central location inside the largest factory the world has ever seen. My preliminary plans call for three main buildings, each five blocks large, an office building to house our headquarters, a powerhouse, and a lot to keep the finished cars before they’re sent to the dealerships. Total factory space would be 1.8 million square feet.”

>>29036561
>A few ponies double take when they hear that one.
“This may seem like I’m thrusting this on you without much warning, but I am. We’ve put off sustainable expansion for too long. Right now, consolidation would save us thousands. I’ll provide more details when they become available, but right now I just need your preliminary approval. All in favor?”
>Everyone raises an appendage.
“Good. I’ll get to work then.”
>You let the executives out, and when the room is cleared you make your way back to your office, where North Point is waiting.
>”How’d it go?”
“We’re going this.”
>”Okay. I’ve got the plans almost finished. Using steel-reinforced concrete like you explained opens up a lot of space. With fewer columns and more windows, this is going to be a factory like no other.”
“Great. I’ll look them over when you’re done and modify the plans to best fit an assembly line.”
>”Fine by me. You’re working on the offices and the powerhouse, right?”
“Right.”
>”Great.”
>For the next few hours, you two work in silence.
>North Point works at a drafting table on one end of your office and you work out the semantics of building the A-Series on an assembly line on the other end.
>Eventually, with one last scribble, she puts down the pencil and gets up.
>”The plans are done. I’m heading back to City Planning.”
“See you at home.”
>”See you there.”
>She walks out and you head over to the drafting table.
>It looks remarkably like what you’d expect, with little variation from your instructions.
>So, after a quick once-over to make sure everything looks to be in order, you grab the list you’ve been working on from your desk and take it over to the plans.

>>29036570
>The list contains every step to produce a car from the moment the steel and wood arrive to the minute the car is driven out of the factory, along with the approximate lengths of the machinery needed to complete each step.
>Time to get down to business.
>For the next few days, that project occupies most of your time.
>But when you finish, the entire assembly line is sketched out on a carbon copy of the drawings.
>And it’s incredibly complex.
>Building A contains seat assembly on the first floor and final assembly on the second through fifth floors.
>Building B has the foundry, small part casting, motor, and frame assembly stations.
>And Building C houses body assembly.
>The frame starts out in Building B and moves to A on the fourth floor, where it meets the body.
>The body is assembled in Building C, passes through B, and progresses through A to join the body.
>Two enclosed, heavily reinforced bridges close the gaps between the buildings, allowing vehicles to move from building to building at any level.
>And each building contains countless lifts.
>It’d all be dark and noisy if it weren’t for the eight hundred foot long light wells in the center of each building, which circulate air through the buildings.
>The basements house storage and maintenance, and so on.
>According to your calculations, this mammoth complex will be able to produce over one million cars a year, or about one every thirty seconds.
>And even though total production for the A-8 is winding down at around eighty thousand units, you’re sure that the extra capacity will be very useful later.
>Some plans of the powerhouse and the office building, along with another quick meeting with the executives, and you’re off to mark out lots.
>You drive out to the very edge of town, 22nd Street and King, and section off the lots.
>A quick trip to City Planning confirms your reservation, and you’re good to go.

>>29036578
>The next few weeks are spent refining the design some more.
>There’s not much you can do to ease the complexity of the assembly line, but you can work on just about everything else.
>Once the plans are finalized, the total cost for constructing the plant is pegged at $135,000.
>Total profits for FY1908 were about $65 million, though, so that’s fine.
>So, with everything finalized and finished in an obscenely short amount of time, two weeks before the first A-9s hit the showrooms in Lancaster, ground breaks on the eighteen-block complex.

And that's it for now. Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/eufFYFaw

>>29036570
>>”How’d it go?”
>“We’re going this.”
They way this is worded kinda confuses me as to what Anon means. Like something's missing

>>29036814
Yeah, that's a pretty bad typo. Sorry about that. It should be "We're doing this".

Alright, I'm away from home and I'm at my pc. Let's get some writing done.

>>29037386
Like moved out away from home?

>>29037386
You moved already? That was fucking fast.

>>29034384
Chemistry is the central science.

>>29038720
No, no, I haven't moved. My pc and stuff is at a relatives house.

In fact, I might actually have to delay the move itself. I'm not making as much money as I need, and I need to fix up my car. It's getting better but not by much.

>>29038771
Godspeed, my man. I wish you luck.

http://www.strawpoll.me/11839423
vote bump

>>29039264
What's /egg/?

>>29039281
Engineering Games General on /vg/.

boop

>>29038771
> I might actually have to delay the move itself.
Life sure sure does seem to have it out for you

>>29032204
What I want to know is how hard are the things anon is doing from our point of view? Like, if I, a college student with some understanding of physics, computer science, engineering, whatever were sent in his place and I had the muscle and super brain implants how would I do? Are the super brain's instructions easy enough to follow that I could, or would I fail entirely? Could I get high enough tech to augment my own intelligence or would that be beyond me?

>>29039784

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p.9 bump
>anon tries to teach the things he knows to ponies and the world in general
>he is accused of corrupting public morals and the mind of the youth with twisted ideas
>is sentence to death by drinking poison hemlock
>faces it calmly and uses it to teach his students, those that did listen to him, a final lesson

so thread, what was his final lesson?

>>29043377
People will always be afraid of that which they do not know, but we should face those same unknowns so that we may learn them and overcome that fear.

Also that death by hemlock poisoning sucks balls

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when will anon introduce twilight to sound induced levitation

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>>29043377
That poison in poison hemlock is called "Coniine" and causes death by blocking the neuromuscular junction in a manner similar to curare; this results in an ascending muscular paralysis with eventual paralysis of the respiratory muscles which results in death due to lack of oxygen to the heart and brain. Death can be prevented by artificial ventilation until the effects have worn off 48–72 hours later.

>>29045594

>>29044449
what manner of sorcery is this?

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>>29046681

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>>29046777
>magnetic levitation
>mass filter

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>>29046681
wubs

>>29047140
Now I want an edit of that one filipino picture that just says
>fact: Vinyl Scratch is the most powerful pony in the world

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>>29046777
i love magnets

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bump

>>29047551
>>29047140
>>29046777
I want a story involving Vinyl and Anon studying sound

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>>29048416

>>29047927
something, something juggalo comment

>>29044988
>Anon creates a prosthetic lung, unheard of in Equestria before, and revolutionizes the medical industry

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>>29051100
>Anon is a surgeon from earth
>Realizes a hearth transplant operation to save someone
>ponies believe that he is some sort of evil necromancer
>because he stole elder pony life force to prolong the life of another

>>29051612
For some reason this made me think of what a surgeon simulator anon in equestria story might be like.

>>29047927
>>29050919
>put your dick in it!

>>29050919
>put your robot clown dick in it!

>>29051100
Iron lung is not that hard to build, you could make it out some wood, bellows and power it by waterwheel.

>>29052931
I Have a feeling that such a device would look more like a medieval torture device than a medical device.

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>>29053492
it would look probably look like Fred Flintstone car.

also, medieval torture device and medieval medical device are almost one and the same devices.

Where is.... comedy greentext?
I remember something with Lego and Telephone.

>>29052813
Son, go back to Class 1.

>>29053527
I don't know what's going on in that picture but that looks like some slightly elaborate fetish

>>29053898
Maybe he's a robot and it's a robot dick?

Some sort of robo-prosthetic?

>>29056489
Yes, that picture is definitely well known in this general.

>>29056489
>>29056510
>The Earth is Round, Twilight

>>29054333
Reverse image search says it's about colon hydrotherapy, or a enema in other words. So I guess the fetish comment isn't far off the mark.

its happening
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdx3woUZSWM

>>29047551
Hey yoohoo any idea when then the next update will come out.

>>29059378

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Mr Anonymous is right. There is no such a thing as magic, Equestria is a country that is sealed on its preindustrial era, so they try to believe in magic, to justify their fear of progress.
should we fix this, Anonymous?

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>>29060660

Why not combine magic and science?

We still do not understand crapload about how things work and still use them.

For example we do not know why bicycles did not falling, i will stop you this is not gyroscopic effect because people did experiments that rekt this hypothesis, they attached much smaller wheels to minimize gyroscopic effect and people was able to ride those bicycles with no problem.

The problem of :
>Equestria is a country that is sealed on its preindustrial era
is a thing because they does not need industry to replace magic, earth ponies can grow food almost instantly and strong as freaking Jojo so mechanization would do a little difference in that area unless it would be integrated with earth pony magic somehow.

>>29060820
I just googled how bikes stay upright, but there's too much reading there so I'll just put forth my own explanation that's probably close enough
Bikes stay upright due to the rider constantly making minor adjustments in an attempt to keep theirs and the bike's combined center of mass aligned with the two points in which the bike's wheels touch the ground, ergo keeping it balanced
The rider does this by either turning, which shifts the position of the front wheel and thus keeping the line between where the wheels touch the ground aligned with the center of mass, or by the rider themselves leaning, which shifts the position of the center of mass such that it's aligned with the wheels
The closer the center of mass stays aligned with the wheels, the smaller the necessary adjustments are, though the number of adjustments are still the same, if not greater
The bike leans significantly during a turn due to the turn imparting an acceleration on the bike/rider towards the outside of the curve, which the rider has to accomodate for in addition to the usual acceleration due to gravity
One does the same thing when attempting to balance an object on a fingertip, except since it's only resting on one point you have to deal with two axes
The gyroscopic effect from the wheels probably helps some, but it's minor compared to the constant adjustments of the rider

>>29060926
>The gyroscopic effect from the wheels probably helps some, but it's minor compared to the constant adjustments of the rider
I would say it helps a bunch.
The faster you go, the easier it it to stay upright.
You cant really keep balance in a stationary bike, not without a great skill.

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>>29060926
they also did that experiment without any rider.

>>29061235
I'm not even sure what I'm looking at in that pic

>>29062588
Science!

>>29062588
a "bike" designed to disprove everything about how bikes stay upright.

no gyro effect, no rider, COM not between wheels, all that stuff.

personally, i think it's all in the angle the front wheels hit the ground at. as long as they're angled forwards and free swinging, the bike will stay up.

>>29063058
>as long as they're angled forwards and free swinging, the bike will stay up.
You got a good point. The wheel would be forced into the direction of travel via friction.
Perhaps the constant self-adjustment of the front wheel imparts momentum in the opposite direction of the adjustment, allowing the bike to stay upright?

Where's that faggot Yoohoo with more best poner?

>>29063946
He showed up for a single random post 2 days ago >>29047551 before disappearing into the void

>>29064666
These numbers are troubling.

This thread is slowly dieing. I do not want it to. I might post green if this persists.

>>29065911
Feel free to give it a go.

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I wonder just how blown a pony's mind would be if I did this experiment with them.

>>29066177
Full video for those interested

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H98BgRzpOM

>>29066177
They would probably explain this to themselves by some arcane knowleg likewise humans would explain unicorn levitation by zero-point energy field manipulation.

>>29066589
But by them attempting to explain it via magic, they would be wrong.
We, however, would have to invent a new field of science to explain Magic, but it wouldn't be wrong inherently.

>>29066589
>>29066616

You're both complete idiots.

>>29066589
>zero point energy
Ya, you never finished high school.

>>29066589
Don't use zpe in a sentence so nonchalantly if you don't know what that is, otherwise people like >>29066944
and >>29067248 will read it and call you out for being a complete idiot.

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>>29067278
ok

>>29067317

Stay in school.

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>>29067396
I cant, i am a sex offender. :(

Plz no bully.

>9
Gib green

>>29067396
That assumes he even entered school in the first place

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>>29065911

>>29070305

I regret saying it. I have to grade 220 semester tests. I'm a dirty liar.

question: is greentext form absolutely necessary? I want to post this on FimFiction as well as on here, instead of the pastebin, so I plan on using paragraph format

>>29070569
not absolutely but still preferred, why doesnt fimfiction allow greentext?, they would get like 13% increase of traffic.

>>29070634
I have a feeling the ban might be to prevent a flood of terrible written stories written by people who see the greentext format as a easy cure-all solution to fixing/masking their writing flaws.

>>29066944
>>29067278
Don't group me with him, I never said shit about ZPE.

>>29071427
a good chunk of greentexts that I read are just as good if not a little better than most of shit thats on fimfic

>>29071680
I'm not saying greentexts is an inherently bad format. I'm saying idiots on fimfic would use it's shorter format to make a lot of low effort stories. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a similar reason for script-fics being banned in fimfic.

On 4chan a bad greentext will usually disappear and be forgotten due to a lack of thread bumps. On Fimfiction that's not the case and bad stories stick around for a lot longer.

>>29071834
they have other ways of stopping low effort fics, like the 1000 word minimum

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>>29071439
why do you apologizing? it is not your fault that some edgy teen did not get reference about game that came out 2004, and started to call everyone idiots.

>>29071912
>>29071834
>>29071427
>>29070634
They probably just don't want any obvious connections to "the wretched hive of scum and villainy" that people think 4chan is

>>29072686
>implying this isn't "a wretched hive of scum and villiany"

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>>29072866
And dubs.

Tell me story about greens anon, i haven't seen them almost in a week.

>>29070569
Personally I won't object if somebody provides content just because it doesn't adhere to an autistic format.

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comming from space with a bump

>>29073455
ditto

>>29058673
Soon™

>>29070569
great, next question: are you guys ok with said story being told from the viewpoints of three different people?
basically my idea:
>soldier, scientist, and engineer get sucked through a human-made portal on accident, are stuck there for a couple of months before the rest of humanity makes contact
>focus a bit less on "action" and how two worlds would interact w/each other

>>29074996
Sure go for it

>>29074996
>>29070569
just post it famalia

>>29075187
>>29075146
still thinking about it
i kinda want mine to be one of those "endless" fics with no clear ending, so obviously i'd have to put a lotta time into it. plus, i might not be able to update for long times due to busy schedules (and everyone hates when a fic goes dormant for months)
but i'm still leaning towards it
>scientist & engineer interested in fusing magic and technology
>soldier, fearful of consequences, keeps hush-hush about military on Earth

>>29074996
As long as you don't give them all names related to "Anonymous" like Pseudonym or Incognito or some shit.
I hate that shit.

>>29075468
don't worry, it'll be like a regular old fanfic, but i'll post updates here first so that you guys get in on the action
plus, if i can do it well i might be able to stick a few baneposts in a chapter

anyways, here's some more ideas I had. go ahead and tell me what you think, and praise me if you want to obligate me to get off my ass
>luna explores the trio's minds and finds wonders and horrors beyond belief
>massive royal guard stands off with small human platoon
>terrorism from both sides once portal becomes public
>i get to draw my prototype for an assault rifle designed for ponies

>>29075526
>>luna explores the trio's minds
Stopped right there. Its shit.

>>29075542
elaborate
i was thinking luna gets to interview the three of them about their world and shit (in their dreams that they forget the next morning) so she can know more without directly asking (and likely getting refused)

>>29075556
I actually went back and finished reading it after that comment.
I read the first bit and assumed it was gonna be a case of humans just letting the Ponies parade through their minds like it was no big deal to see "they aren't a threat" like some faggot writers are wont to do.
That just really pisses me off cause I don't know a single person who'd be ok with someone just going through their mind like that.

So that was my bad for not finishing to read the post, but in my defense, most stories where mind reading happens, the characters either aren't bothered by it or actually ask for it to happen like it isn't the biggest invasion of privacy. And I just can't stand that.

>>29075594
no fucking way people do that? jesus christ, that sounds disgustingly stupid. only Luna gets to do that (becuz she be a princess dawg) imo
>mfw this fic gets so popular i get a drawfag to do a high-poly 3D rendering of my pony M4

>>29075636
o shit, i just realized i haven't watched past mid-S5, anyone wanna fill me in?

>>29067317
So do you have a "dark" chromosome?

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>>29075946
>So do you have a "dark" chromosome?
kek

In order to show signs that I'm very much alive, there is a little more in my pastebin which will give a look at where the story is going and what will be happening.

Also, I'm on 4craft as Frenchie if anyone wants to talk or something, or just play autismblocks with your fellow horsefuckers in the name of our board.

>>29076128
>4craft
ip?

>>29076753
127.0.0.1

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>>29075946
What if pone chromosomes are in fact a runic sequences?

Little instructions how to build proteins or other stuff.

For example left sequence is for polymorphing carbon and water and a little nitrogen into pegasus feathers, the right sequence just says "Mid or feed".

>>29077218
Anon introduces dota to equestria when?

right here's the intro that I've written up, hope it's good. give me feedback

>"The worlds we touch, whether they be dead rock or living globe, will never recover from our footsteps. Every breath we exhale, every pebble we kick, and every sample we collect determines the fate of something in the future. Whether we like it or not, we are the writers of our own books - and somebody else's."
-Elias Hulley, 2024
---
>How strange it was that over two thousand years, a bunch of apes on a rock spinning around the cosmos went from being young children, marveling at the wonders of their world, to middle-aged men, sick of the limits of their world and aware of their species's mortality as it smoked and poisoned itself to a gradual death. Stranger still was the faint but visible ember of wonder that rested within them, barely smoldering. This was part of their souls, the ever-present instinct that drove them to explore and invent.
>And that ember, believe it or not, eventually ignited. It had to, especially during what they called "the twenty-first century" - because if it didn't there would be no oxygen to breathe in, only a dirty industrial smog that would smother the ember. The trash and chemicals probably didn't help much, either.

>>29077572
>Enter the Eden Project. A top-secret project that, led by the United States, sought to find new worlds for Man to spread to. For 20 years, the project steadily grew closer and closer to completion. When the last calculation was performed and the last fastener welded, the Portgate stood ten meters in diameter and was designed to maximize its Elna-Frenger energy-disruptance ratio to the fifteenth decimal place. Background radiation was recorded to find the first destination of Man, and the coordinates were inputted to the machine. From behind their shields of concrete and metal, mankind watched as the portal ripped open, glistening with a brilliant shade of turquoise. As more and more tests were conducted, more information was collected.
>Atmosphere Composition: 79% Oxygen, 20% Nitrogen, 0.2% Helium...
>Gravitational Pull: 0.98 G
>But perhaps most shockingly of all:
>Surface sample: {Notice: 68.8% match, temperate forest surface soil (North America)}
>For life to even exist at all was a shock. Nothing could prepare the scientists that received the results for the fact that they were exploring a world unbelievably similar to their own.
>Long story short, a large portion of the United States's money went into the "Classified" section of the pie chart.
>More and more was being spent on the Portgate. Care was taken to protect the world on the other side, but the thirst for knowledge that everyone had eventually won out. Soon, humanity would explore the other side with their flesh and blood, not machines of steel and plastic.
>Of course, things never go as planned.

>>29077580
Go on...

>>29077608
Barely done w/Chapter One, but here's what i have

>"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
-Chinese Proverb

-Leah-

>"Ding-Ding-Ding Ding. Ding-Ding-Ding Ding.
>The woman sprang from her bed at precisely 5:45:02 - the same time she woke up at the past three weeks. She was a timely person when it came to waking up - after all, research was an important thing to be prepared for, and waking up late would be terribly inconvenient. Her black hair didn't need much besides a quick run-through with a plastic comb, and it took half a minute for her to brush her teeth. After a quick restroom break and a change into something more "professional", she walked through the door to her quarters. She wore a pair of faded-blue work jeans, a not-completely-sour-smelling green polo, white sneakers, and a small backpack with her laptop, tablet, and notebook inside. She put her earbuds in, listening to the daily report as she walked down the hallways and towards the cafeteria.

>>29077613
>"Today's weather report forecasts a clear sky all day, with highs in the mid-80s and lows in the low-70s."
>She groaned a little as she walked down the mostly empty hallway and took a left turn. Beautiful T-shirt weather, and here she was, stuck in some bunker in the middle of nowhere, Texas. It was more formally called "U.S. Department of Defense Research Site 22-A", though everyone just called it "the Bunker". Eight stories tall- - well, more like one story tall, seven stories deep. It's a bit easier to hide your secret government projects when you're underground, and more so when your employees sign 2-year contracts that essentially lock them there and prevent them from leaking classified information.
>"In the news, President Henderson has further laid out plans for reforming America's education systems. Among his statements, he promised more opportunities for students of all backgrounds to participate in higher-level, more rigorous courses..."

>>29077580
>Atmosphere Composition: 79% Oxygen, 20% Nitrogen

Uhhh was this intentional? You didn't get oxygen and nitrogen mixed up by accident?Because at that concentration we're dealing with an environment that is inhospitable for oxygen breathing life on earth.

https://www.quora.com/What-would-happen-if-oxygen-would-be-78-approx-and-nitrogen-22-approx-respectively

>>29077615
>That managed to cheer the woman up a little bit. She always kept an ear out for any news related to education, since it was what made her stand out. State-level violinist, Physics-fair National Finalist, National Merit scholar, and Robotics club president that she was, she always kept her academics as her priority for the 14 years she spent in school and college. By all measures, she was a very bright young lady. The trophies that proudly stood in her parents's house could attest to that.
>By the time the news report had finished playing, her phone switched to her morning playlist as she entered the West hallway. Not many people were willingly awake at this ghastly hour, so Leah decided to jog the short distance to the cafeteria. People had long stopped giving her weird looks, and she hummed along to the music as she passed the server farm, then the commons, then the offices, then the glass wall that separated her from the Portgate.
>The Portgate. An immense ring of steel that, as the woman usually stated in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, "did some science stuff and makes cool circles". It was actually a bit more than that; the Portgate was the project that she had worked on for three and a half years, the project that she had done some of the math for. Millions of man-hours had went into that thing, and she contributed to a rather sizeable portion of that time. The sight of the three-story ring would faze most people, but the woman was rather used to the sight of it. She continued past it, barely giving it a glance. What was more important to her was the greasy bacon and undercooked pancakes that the cafeteria served. Another minute of jogging and she found herself waiting in the short line for breakfast, piling hashed potatoes onto her plastic plate.
>>29077616
i'm a fucking idiot, sorry

>>29077622

>She found a seat in the corner of the dining hall and began to dig into her breakfast. It didn't take long for her to complete her gigantic meal (how she managed to keep a thin frame was a mystery to everybody) and head over to the South wing. She usually worked here from seven in the morning to seven at night. Coffee was an essential part of her life, and as she entered the South Research Area she grabbed two paper cups of the brown liquid on her way to her work station. As she sunk down into her swivel chair after dropping her bag on the ground, a rather unkempt man in his mid-forties stopped outside her cubicle.
>"Hey Leah, you gonna go to the portal opening later?"
>"Well, yeah. I'm supposed to be analyzing the portal's stability for the whole thing."
>"Oh yeah, that's right. I honestly can't believe they're finally sending someone through."
>"I mean, it's kinda a given. It's hospitable on the other side, and it's uncannily similar to the Earth. There's not even any killer germs, for some reason."
>"What do you think's on the other side?"
>"Umm...trees and stuff."
>"You know that there's only been exploration up to fifty yards inside there, right? The drones can't exactly make it past the forest without tipping over.So what do you think is beyond there?"
>"I dunno. I guess we'll see."
>The man smiled, then headed his way. The two of you went on with your day, just as you had for the past few years.
>Routine was nice.

>>29077624
next up is going to be from the perspective of the soldier

>>29077622
Don't beat yourself up about it too badly, everyone makes mistakes.

>>29077624
>There's not even any killer germs

Oh boy

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1322

long story short, a common cold started trans-dimensional war and genocide.

>>29076753
It's not up yet, but you can join the discord chat until it launches on the 26th.
https://discord.gg/McFr9Pu

>>29077616
Also where's carbondioxide, shits needed for plants yo.

>>29078459
took a look, CO2 is only ~.04% of the atmosphere. I was thinking only the 3 most abundant gases would bedisplayed

>>29077624

>-Noah-
>"So, why am I supposed to go with the scientists?"
>"Well, we still haven't seen what the other side holds in terms of... animals. It's quite hard to get data from there, you know? It's only possible to get the portal to work on some days, since it is still a work in progress, so we can only obtain low-resolution pictures of the other side because of some sort of... interference. Which is why we're sending people, because they don't need to be remote-controlled. So, Noah Breston, if you were to go to an alien world without knowing what lives there, why wouldn't you bring a guard or two?"
>Noah shifted a bit in the ridiculously awkward chair as he continued to ask questions. His olive-green T-shirt and camo cargo pants crinkled and flapped as he made himself more comfortable.
>"But why me?"
>"Long story short, you drew the short stick. You might not be the most qualified, but you're good enough.."
>"Right... so what am I supposed to do again?"

>>29078644
>"Well, once you pass through and confirm that the area's safe, you'll help the researchers set up a base camp. We're sending the supplies through today, so you won't have to worry about lugging stuff through the portal. Research equipment, food for a month, solar chargers, everything you'll need to stay there. You'll probably only be over there for an hour, though. While you set up, the researchers will be doing science stuff. I won't bore you with the details. Don't worry, you'll have some help."
>"Alright then... I guess."
>"Great. Remember, the trip is a week away. Don't rush yourself, alright?"
>Noah walked out of the administrator's office, his curiosity slightly sated. He had been in the Army for about five years before he was called here for some special project. It was better than sitting around in the Middle East and paid better, so he couldn't complain. Although, now that he knew all the facts, he was a bit less eager.
>Nobody knew what creatures lay beyond those trees that the cameras had shakily photographed. Honestly, he would have liked to bring a 20mm autocannon with him, but apparently the most firepower he was getting was an M107 .50 caliber rifle. They said that he wouldn't be taking on a tank, but Noah didn't want to find out what things he would have to go up against on the other side. If he had to fight something there, it would preferably be behind a Stinger missile launcher.
>At least the pay was good.

That's it for Chapter 1, go ahead and give me feedback/comments/criticisms

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>>29078653
It's a decent enough start. It's got me curious enough to want to see where it goes. Kind of makes me think of Stargate

>>29038753
>this is what chemist actually believe
finest topkek

bump for droid

>>29078653
>bring a 20mm autocannon
I have feeling he's going to seriously miss not having it

>>29080351
moar dakka!

still working on chapter 2, but don't worry shit goes down later. please hit me up with suggestions and criticisms

>"Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. And everything that hasn't gone wrong will go wrong.."
>-Murphy's Law

-Leah-
>"T-minus 2 hours, 30 minutes."
>Energy drink in one hand and graphing calculator in the other, Leah stepped over towards the third Leinhardt focus engine and flipped open the back hatch, revealing a series of buttons and switches. After doing some quick differential calculus in her head, she clicked the "Variance Control" setting to 0.2, then closed the hatch. Calibrating the engines took some time, and it wasn't a very easy task. When she finished setting all 6 engines, she hopped down from the platform that she had stood on and walked away from the Portgate.
>The ground around the Portgate was in a state of ordered madness. Everyone walked back and forth, performing the thousands of checks and confirmations that were necessary for the first human exploration of a brand new planet. Leah could see the technicians perform the final checks on the power supply lines and the loading crew bring pallet after pallet of supplies to the Portgate. It was a shame that she couldn't go, but she wasn't too bummed out. After all, quantum physics doesn't help much when you're on an unexplored planet.

>>29080351
it's preferrable for him to have a (mounted) 20mm with him, but obviously that's 2big and so he has to go with something lighter

>>29081194

>Still, she frowned a little as she observed a dozen men in body armor and combat gear line up around the Portgate. It wasn't really that necessary for there to be that much security, right? Either way, she shrugged as she continued to watch the others go on with their work.
>"T- minus 1 hour, 45 minutes...

-Luna-
>Concatenation spells were terribly complex things. Conductive arcane dust had to be refined into magic ink , which was then used to draw amplification runes on topaz gems. The designs that were necessary for a successful "power stone", as they were informally called, took tens of hours to carve properly and imbue with magic. Their fractal-like complicity wasn't any better.
>But it was worth it, in Luna's opinion. The work of the senior magicians was really something, and you made sure they were well compensated. The Princess of the Night was walking to the castle's spellgazing chamber, where she would perform an incredibly complex divining spell that would be the culmination of several weeks worth of planning. The mild unsettling of the Royal Sisters' stomach that had begun a few months ago was at first shrugged off as a random feeling. As the feeling came back after a couple of weeks, however, it was decided that the issue had to be investigated.

page 9

>>29081214
>The spell Luna had in mind was a very complex one. It required immense amounts of potential magic, which meant that it was near impossible for anyone other than Celestia or Luna to perform it. Not that many people would want to perform it. In fact, the only written record of the spell was in a centuries-old book, tucked deep within the Royal Library. Plus, it's not everyday that you need to perform a cross-dimensional vision spell.
>Luna stopped at the front of the tall, thick oak doors that were at the end of the hallway. The doors were visibly worn, not with use but with age. She used her magic to pull open the heavy doors, taking care to close them behind them as she entered the chamber. The glow of the runes in the wall lighted Luna's way as she made her way to the center of the room. The chamber measured twenty feet by twenty feet, so Luna took a while to spread the gems and crystals our around the room. When she finished placing the last orange jewel, she made her way back to the middle of the room. She sat down, and as she focused her mind her horn began to emit a dark purple aura.
>As with all spells of high delicacy and precision, extreme caution could still fail to provide acceptable results. As Luna focused harder and harder, it seemed as if her efforts were getting her nowhere.
>Suddenly, out of the ambient static that was the magic field, she felt a knot. Curious, she pushed more magic towards it, hoping to gain more information. As the knot grew more and more pronounced, Luna attempted to get a better grasp of the anomaly - and failed. Frustrated, she pushed, harder and harder...
>*CRACK*

>>29082198
>Luna realized her mistake as soon as she heard the first crystal crack. That realization was reinforced by the next crack, then the next. In a split second, all the crystals had split - and released their energy into Luna. The pulse of energy bolted through Luna's horn and towards the knot, knocking her to the ground. The magical surge hit the knot - and it grew, twisting and contorting into a tangled mess. Then, in an instant, it exploded into a bright flash of light before immediately flattening itself out.
>As Luna pulled herself to her hooves, she assessed the damage dealt to the room. It still looked rather serviceable, and the only visible evidence of the incident was the scattering of gem shards on the floor. She let out a sigh of relief, thankful that there weren't any consequences.
>Or so she thought.

>>29081194
He can take a 20mm AM Rile.

>>29082841
i don't know much about guns, but better a "lighter" semi-automatic .50 than a heavy single-shot 20mm, especially if there's a huge thing coming at you (at least that's my reasoning)

bedtime bump

>>29077515
[your favorite dota hero's name] in equestria when?

>>29082830
Let me guess, the backlash of the spell is going to break something on the human side of the portal and strand the away team in equestria.

>>29084137
i mean, what else do you expect?

>>29084528
I dunno but the story could always surprise me

>>29085125

>>29082830
-Andrew-

>T-minus 60 minutes.
>Andrew crossed off the last item on his checklist and backed away from the frame. All the parts of the Portgate seemed to be in working order, and they even seemed to shine a brighter grey than usual. Satisfied, he pressed the sleep button on his tablet before turning around and walking towards the pallets. He was rather interested in what the scientists were bringing with them. Scientific instruments, food, building materials... weapons... Andrew took a closer look at the MREs that were stacked up on a pallet, curious about their contents.
>"Wow, they have ravioli?"
>Andrew turned to face a girl in a green shirt and jeans looking at him. It was clear from her inquisitive nature and questioning stare that she was a scientist.
>"Yeah, and it looks like they have beef and mac, chili... looks kinda gross, to be honest."
>"What are you talking about? That sounds tasty as heck! It can't be that hard to mess up chili, right?"

>>29087415
>Andrew was about to answer, but one of the soldiers walked up to them.
>"Guys, you really shouldn't be near this stuff. We're about to move it, and it would be best if you-"
>There was a flash of light, and Andrew's heart skipped a beat as he began falling - towards the Portgate. The piles of supplies were pulled into the blue portal that had formed inside the Portgate, and he could see the girl and the guard get sucked in just before he followed suit.
>Passing through the Portal was instantaneous, and the hard, concrete grey of the Bunker was suddenly replaced with the dark, starry sky of another world. It took a while for this fact to register, and he was still in shock as he landed on the soft grass that carpeted the ground. As he began to process the events that had just passed a few seconds, a heavy cardboard box smacked against the side of his head, knocking him out cold.
>Interestingly, the box contained exactly three hundred U.S. military MREs. All of them were the spaghetti type.

Okay, so here's the thing: all that was just 3,100 words. Is this bad? Also, I need criticisms and suggestions.

>>29087421
Your way of laying out lines makes the posts seem shorter (e.g that last post; the fourth line could in fact be two or even three lines), not a criticism, just an observation.

The actual content is very good; detail is sufficient to help the reader imagine the scenes and establish needed detail but short enough to not be distracting or boring by sheer bulk.

As to the characters interactions, they sound pretty good and flow about as well. No unrealistic behaviour, questionable decisions or weird sentence schemes.


Very well done.

>>29087521
good to hear it
waiting for fimfiction approval, will post link when available

>>29087721
OOOOOH IT's approved
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/357566/the-portgate

To writefag_is_kill
Cant reply directly because last thread is saged.
Celestia can do math incredibly quickly due to anon having to replace the part of her brain that handles arithmetic. Her plan to deal with twilight was written in code. Could she use her new math skills to brute force the code? It couldn't have been designed to be able to withstand computer levels of brute force due to celly encoding it before she had any knowledge of computers.

>>29088229
>Her plan to deal with twilight was written in code. Could she use her new math skills to brute force the code? It couldn't have been designed to be able to withstand computer levels of brute force due to celly encoding it before she had any knowledge of computers.

What the fuck am I reading?

>>29088492
he's saying:
>when sunbutt made the code, it was probably "unsolvable" at the time (because there weren't no code-breaking supercomputers)
>but now that she's a robot she can just use her exabytes of processing power to crack the code

>>29088205
ffs i need someone to say something BAD about my writing

>>29088925
it's shit
Happy now?

>>29088229
Even if she could she wouldn't know she could.

>>29088811
You phrased it better then me.
>>29089359
She could ask spike. I bet he would know, due to the comment about being surprised at what could be phrased as pure math. Or perhaps she could work it out on her own. She has all the pieces, she just has to put them together.

>>29089435
I doubt anon taught spike much, if any, cryptography; since it only weakens his own ability to protect himself against ponies. (Spike anon and luna are the only ones using technology anyway so there's not much to crack).
It would also be weird to work into the conversation since spike doesn't like Celestia, they don't have regular meetings, and she has no reason to assume asking him about her own secret codes would be helpful.

>>29088989
thanks daddy

>Zombie noises
ok im back what did i miss

posting green
here's the pasta: http://pastebin.com/pKVfQaXt

>Cont from line 199

>You waste no time and get the drones to reseal the strongboxes.
“pack this up and get a carrier drone over here, I´ll be taking these to sector seven myself.” you tell hector as you close the strongbox.
>without a doubt this is the most books you have found in a single place.
>there are at least a dozen of tomes you have never seen before.
>and that's saying something. You have at least 500 tomes and over a thousand scrolls rewarding magic archived within your library.
>most of them are different editions of the same knowledge. But its still a hundred tomes worth of magical knowledge.
>It would be a lot more useful if you had any inane magic, but its not like you can get magic from other sources.
>The gem containing a dragon life force that was “implanted” within your chest allows you to manipulate magic to some extent. But is still not enough to cast more than a simple shield or a contact spell. Let alone breathe fire.
>hence the “breathless one” name that fefnir gave you
>fortunately for you, gnomes weren't to reliant on their own magic as well.
>sure, they could cast spells just as well as unicorns. But their nature as craftsmen lead them to a more physical approach to magic.
>Runes and alchemy were their preferred ground of study.
>and while dragons and unicorns used the magic of their own bodies to fuel their spells. Gnomes learned to use the magic contained in gems to power enchantments and runes.
>in alchemy they were only surpassed by the deers of the mystic forests .they where on par with the dwarfs in terms of masonry.
>Their prowess in runes and golem making unmatched, as the living stone still guards their fortresses and mausoleums.
>to fuel such creations they learned how to extract magic from the world around them.
>Gems from the underground, herbs from the forests and shells from the sea. Those where their main sources of magic.
>But not the only ones

>>29090999
>soon enough the beetle-like drone arrives and puts the four strong boxes withing its cargo pod
“Hector. Have the scrap and ore moved to the ironworks module 14, once that's done guard the perimeter until new orders. a work force will prepare the area to the construction of a forward base.” you order as you hop up onto the cargo pod
>”Confirmed. we will inform you of any unforeseen event that may occur.”
>with that settled you nod to the carrier drone to move.
>the drone flies out of the hive and into one of the many traffic tunnels of your industrial complex
>As you travel there, you use you wrist computer to contact the command center
>you order a drone squad to construct an outpost on the remains of the hive, giving a few pointers towards the layout that you wanted
>A few security gates there, a spare parts storage, some ammo catches and a power station.
>Pretty standard stuff really, just a little oversized to accommodate for the large amount of drones that will be stationed there.
>You should probably see about to expand the traffic tunnels and increase the transport lines capacity.
>Not just to sector 12 but to all your complex.
>Sure. you have hundreds of drones guarding all ends of your complex as well as tons of ammo already in place.
>But what if you need to move a few thousands drones to one end of your complex to the other?
>Your tunnels would get crammed and your transport network would get overwhelmed.
>Energy production and raw material extraction are ready to provide for the increased drone output.
>You have to get transport up to speed, otherwise your infrastructure will be compromised.
>transport drones, like the one you where on, where faster than carts and elevators.
>However energy wise they where more expensive, and could carry only small amount of mass compared to carts.

>>29091012
>Its no like you couldn’t increase you energy output wit a few more energy plants or upgrade them to carry more.
>But bloating your energy network just for transport is downright hubris
>Besides your transport carts are due for and upgrade.
>magnetic assisted motion is nice. But its time to move to full magnetic propulsion.
>you already have had room temperature semiconductors for a long time already.
>True. the bullet train that you had been using to travel long distances consumes a significant amount of energy.
>But its obsolete compared to what you can do now. Micro alloys allow for a much cheaper and efficient electromagnetic current.
>Add micro-kinetic manipulation and you don't have to worry about momentum or G force.
>that way you could use them to travel yourself.
>You really need to make a faster personal transport.
>you could just rig some micro-kinetic engines to this drone and be breaking match 7.
>Nah. That would be too cheap. If you're going to ride, you'll ride glorious and chrome.
>Maybe some sort luxury version of an assault transport.
>Like a limousine hover tank.
>If you need to carry too much, you just take some carrier drones with you
>same if you need more fire power.
>but if you just going to have drones come with you, why bother riding in a tank to begin with?
>Less is more after all
>And you always wanted a to ride a hover-bike into battle.
>Your armor can protect you from damage and you doubt that anyone or any thing could take you by surprise now.
>but riding a bike for longer travels could get really unconformable.
>you could just have a luxury pod and make it compatible with any other module you might need.
>An armored floating throne flanked by guard drones and that couples with a collection of vehicles of different purposes.
>you could even make it a spherical
>We_Eggman_now.jpg
>You continue thinking of features and designs to your future for awhile until you reach sector seven.

thats all for now, more later

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>>29091016
i appreciate your effort!

>>29091016
I was starting to wonder where you went

Is writefag_is_kill kill for real? It's been a while.

>>29092604
quality takes time

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I AM NOW portgate anon
now that this is a thing I'm doing, I need:

1. A cover picture for my FimFic
2. A shitload of criticism and suggestions

(Non)Daily reminder that I'm still here. Just working slowly because events.

>>29091016
>>you already have had room temperature semiconductors for a long time already.
superconductors. semiconductors are like silicon, superconductors are the cool magnet things.

>>29092669
forgot to mention, does cursing fall under "teen" or "mature"?

Anyways, Chapter 3's in the works
i'll post it as i write it

>Chapter 3: Post-Calamity

>"DON'T PANIC."
>-Douglas Adams

-Noah-

>Eight and a half hours had passed since Noah had last been conscious. It turns out that falling onto your head after being pulled into a portal into god-knows-where can really do a number on someone. The soft grass that he lay on swayed and moved with the morning breeze, and a blue and black butterfly landed on his chest.
>The three people that had been thrown into an unexplored world had all been rendered unconscious a few minutes after their arrival. It was a rather disgraceful arrival, but luckily no permanent damage had been done to the travelers. Considering that they had just been tossed into an alternate dimension by a randomly spawned portal, this was a rather lucky thing to have happened.
>The supplies, though...

>>29094015

>They actually weren't that badly damaged. The portal had thrown them with quite some force, but the tough containers that they were in helped keep a lot of their contents safe. Still, some of the supplies would be hard to easily recover. Not only that, but the boxes were scattered around the clearing that the portal had opened up above. The surrounding forest had luckily contained nearly all of the boxes, but the meadow that they were thrown about was quite a large one.
>The butterfly that had rested on Noah's chest fluttered onto his nose, and Noah reflexively sneezed it off. Groaning, he slowly rubbed his eyes open as he woke up from his slumber.
>"Ahhh... crap, what the hell..."
>His eyes slid open and were greeted by a familiar yet offsetting blue sky, with wisps of clouds spotted across the field of teal. The chirping of crickets accented the occasional breeze that flowed throughout the meadow and rustled the grass.
>"...this better be heaven, or I'm fucked."

>>29093729
true my mistake

>>29093921
Looking at the FAQ description for mature and teen tags I would say teen

Teen
>Teen is our general-content category: most plots can be written to stay within the boundaries of the teen rating. Teen is likely best defined by what is not allowed: description of sexual acts, highly charged sexual situations, and detailed description of violence or injuries.

Mature
>Unlike teen and everyone, mature stories can include detailed descriptions of sex and/or violence, as long as the stories don’t break other site rules. Neither violence nor sexual content are required for a story to be rated mature however, as it also implies stories that deal with difficult situations in a much more intense way than the other two ratings do. The bottom line is that mature stories are more risky, explicit and intended for an adult audience.

>>29094084

>He pulled himself up, stretching as he did so. As the vibrant greens and browns and yellows of nature came into view, he couldn't help but blanch as he saw the dull browns and blacks of boxes dotting the landscape.
>"Oh, son of a-"
>A groan disturbed his train of thought, and he turned his head towards the source of the noise. The body was a few meters away, but Noah could clearly see the woman rolling off her stomach and pushing herself to her feet. The sight of another person woke Noah up, and he rushed to help the lady get up.
>"mnf...what happened?"
>"I don't know," he replied. He noticed the girl's green shirt and remembered her, messing around with the food...
>"Hey, maybe next time you'll stay away from the boxes. You're not supposed to be standing next to them, you know!"
>The woman chuckled a little as she stood up. She surveyed the surrounding area, taking in the sights and sounds of a new world.

>>29097476
Shitty compression is shitty.

>>29089760
Spike is a clever dragon, he could probably work it out. He also loves twilight, and if he thinks teaching celly cryptography would help sporkle he would do it.

>>29097476
This kills the record.

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y'all better be giving me some tips up in here

>>29096700

>"Well, I guess that really happened. How the heck did the portal form anyways? I thought it wasn't due for operation for at least an hour..."
>"I dunno," he replied. There really wasn't any way for the Portgate to activate before intended, since it wasn't even primed for action. But for some reason, it had inexplicably opened up a portal without warning. Maybe a malfunction...?
>"Oh well," she sighed, "looks like we'll be stuck here for a while. At least we can breathe."
>Something about that statement hit Noah the wrong way.
>"Speaking of which, why is it that this world just happens to have a breathable atmosphere? Considering how extraordinarily unlikely it is for a planet to even have an atmosphere, let alone one with oxygen, this is just too perfect. Oh my god, I just realized that there's grass. AND TREES! They even resemble Earth's plants, and- LOOK, THERE'S A BUTTERFLY!"
>"Calm down, man. I mean, yeah, this is weird, but we'll think about it later. First things first, what's your name?"
>He slowed down a bit before answering with "Noah. Noah Breston."
>"Leah Zhou. Good, that's over with. Hey, wasn't there another dude who came with us?"
>"Aw, crap. Oh well, we'll need to scrounge up supplies if we're going to survive, so looking for that guy might be a good idea. Let's go."
>Together, Leah and Noah began to scavenge, thankful that another human being was with them.

>>29099869
Wait doesn't Noah already know about the trees from his briefing? Why is he so shocked?

>>29099241
>3 Uber-Zs
run
RUN

>>29100195
probably because it's exactly like a tree from earth and not a some tree like figure

>>29100195
fuck me, that's a big thing
i guess he's not used to them being EXACTLY like Earth trees. Like, there's trees, but he didn't know they were pine trees. He's also a bit flustered at how everything is exactly like Earth. Remember the butterfly?

>>29101819
I figured it would be something like that If it wasn't just plain old forgetting that detail

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>Even after college i still tired as fuck

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>>29103009
Try functional drinks or performance drinks, you would not believe how little herbs, vitamins and stimulants improve quality of life.

>tfw Writefag is Kill is kill.

I cri everytiem

>>29103247
You must mean caffine or sugar.

Because those performance drinks are nothing but that.

>>29103598
It certainly has been a longer wait than usual

>>29099869

>-William-
>The head of the Eden Project had some serious explaining to do. The Portgate had activated by itself and pulled three people into an unknown, alien world less than a day ago, and the heads of government of several governments were banging on his door, demanding that he tell them what happened. At this point, however, he knew just as much as they did.
>"So what you're saying that this multi-billion dollar project we've put decades into just malfunctioned, and you don't know why?"
>The British Prime Minister was almost screaming at William through the screen he was displayed on, and he was right to be doing so. The Portgate was an enormous investment funded by multiple countries, and the billions of dollars spent on it made the damage more than negligible. But it was fixable.
>"Well...yeah. We still haven't figured out what happened, but we know it wasn't the machine's fault. The thing wasn't even connected to power. Rest assured, we're looking into the matter, and you guys will be the first to know."
>"Anyways," the Chinese President interjected, "how badly is the machine damaged? When will it be operational again?"
>"The Katz drives are totally fried, but at least the stability modules are relatively unharmed. With the same funding we've been provided so far...probably three to four months."

>>29104380

>The various world leaders talked amongst each other through the screens for a few minutes before the United States President answered.
>"We're increasing funding by twenty percent until the thing is fixed. Now then, what about the three people that are missing?"
>"Assuming that all the missing supplies were sent through with them, they'll be fine for...about 6 months. They have enough food and water purification tablets, and some temporary shelter as well. Most of the military equipment and ammunition went through as well, so they'll be relatively safe."
>"Speaking of which, aren't you worried about affecting what's on the other side?"
>"We've already affected that world when we opened the portal. It was inevitable. Plus, weren't there plans for colonization? Either way, we can only hope that the people who were sent to that world don't screw up catastrophically."
>"Who was missing, by the way?"
>"Let's see... we have an Andrew Martinez, electrical and mechanical engineer...Leah Zhou, quantum physicist,, and Noah Breston, First Lieutenant."
>"At least they have a soldier with them."
>The world leaders conversed among themselves for a moment before coming to an agreement.
>"William Anderson, your objective is now to repair the Portgate as soon as possible, and recover those three people. We must find out more about the other side, and they'll be the ones who know the most about it. Not only that, but the public is clamoring for more information regarding the Portgate. I'm afraid we'll have to come out with this information sooner or later, so work fast on it. Understand?"
>"Yes, sir."
>The video chat cut off, and Anderson sat in his swivel chair for a while to process the information he had just recieved. It was pretty hard to digest.

>(mfw i forgot to use my fucking name)

More coming for Ch. 3, tell me how i'm doing

>>29105131
Apart from minor mistakes like
>heads of government of several governments
I'd say you're doing pretty good, although I wish the dumps were bigger. I'm looking forward to next updates.

>>29105211
I'll be sure to put in some more details later, though I don't want to bloat my writing with unnecessary details. I guess I'm just being a bit light on filler content, so hopefully I can pad the next few chapters with the characters doing side-stuff.
Is it good that my story is 4,500 words so far? I think it's a bit little considering I've had a whole bunch of stuff happen

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>>29105306
pls respond

>>29105306
IMHO it does feel a little on the fast side but not overly so

>>29103598
>>29103965
He could die and we wouldn't know. Just waiting forever.

>>29106986
Hopefully it's just something like he's too busy because he's spending time with the family for holidays

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>>29056489

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>>29103672
You played Anno 2070 didn`t you.

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>>29040765
I briefly touched on that. Over a hundred thousand words ago, and I wrote it rather poorly to boot. Fortunately I have a good opportunity to go over that again in this post. Hopefully it will answer your questions satisfactorily.

>>29088229
Absolutely. The problem isn't with her abilities, rather the problem is her lack of knowledge. She doesn't know what computers are capable of. She barely understands what a computer even is. This may or may not come up in fiction, I'm yet undecided. Largely because it's actually not important anymore. Twilight has been handled.

>>29092604
>>29092664
>>29103598
>>29106986
Exams and unwanted guests are slowing things down. But mostly I'm just slow.

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>>29091016
I have read all parts for now, youre pretty gud man, i do really enjoy it.

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>>29107413
>6605 words

I love you writefag
hope you update soon
I have spent the last 3 days fully dedicated to your story to re-read it because i love it that much.

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>>29107413
So ... what do you study? I want to know what people study in 2016.
I heard some scary stories about current educational system made to prepare people to face the world of 1950 and that those people are not prepared to be face to face with zawarudo of 2050.
Like we pretty much need to teach in universities how to build robots and how to program`n stuff.

>>29105306
It’s going a touch fast at the moment. I’d recommend delaying the Presidental scene a little bit and adding some fluff about our three erstwhile explorers.

>>29108382
wowzers that's exactly what I was planning

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if we're gonna bump can I at least get some comments?

>>29105131

-Andrew-
">Ugh...what the..."
>Andrew felt himself helped up by two people, though he couldn't quite figure out their identities. All he saw was a blur of blue and green, and his head pounded with his every heartbeat.
>"You alright, dude?"
>The voice was definitely female, and Andrew swore he had heard it somewhere.
>"...Yeah, I'm fine."
>Andrew's vision cleared, and he looked around his surroundings. Then he looked at the people who were next to him. They were the same people that he had last seen before the Portgate accidentally activated, the scientist girl and the grumpy soldier.
>"I'm Leah, and this is Noah. And you are Andrew Martinez, judging from the name tag."
>"Yep," Andrew replied.

>>29107200
This picture triggers me. A lot.

>>29083541
Either Lycan, Sven, or Juggernaut in Equestria.
Who would beush their pretty manes the most? I'd say Juggernaut.

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>>29110151

>>29105306
Slow your roll a bit. Storytelling isn't just listing a sequence of events, that's what a lecture is. I know it's hard to fluff things out properly but it's worth trying.

You strike me as a relatively inexperienced writer who's doing a solid job despite being green. Keep at it and you'll do fine.

>>29109262

>"Great. We'll get to introductions later," Noah said. "For now, let's gather what we can. Leah and I have already set up a stockpile for scavenged supplies in the middle of the clearing. We're about halfway done with scouring this clearing, and it would be a good idea to finish before sundown. Here, grab my hand."
>Noah offered his hand, and Andrew grabbed it as he was pulled to his feet. He could see the pile of interdimensional flotsam about thirty meters away, and it was a rather substantial one.
>"Good to see we'll be doing okay," Andrew muttered.
>"And we'll be doing more okay if you help us gather more stuff," Leah replied.
>As the two other people in this world resumed their scavenging, Andrew sighed as he followed along, grabbing a nearby box with "M.R.E. SPAGHETTI, 300ct" stamped on it and hauling it to the large collection of crates in the middle of the clearing.

Ch.3 is done, that's nice. Hopefully I can add more details and write meatier paragraphs soon, like >>29110191 said. As always, comments and suggestions preferred (especially if we're on page 9)

>>29110279
i keep forgetting my fucking name

>>29110191
so basically show don't tell

Should I put my story into a group now or wait?
If it's gonna go into a group, where should it go?

>>29108401
This hot sounds awful similar to Nat Geo's MARS show

>>29107716
You know just how to make a writefag feel special. Thanks.

>>29107884
BS right now. The plan is to move into mechanical engineering, but I grew up in a town where the public schools didn't offer all the pre-reqs for that program. If I do well enough I might just wind up working on robots. Or maybe I'll be a failure and amount to nothing. Who knows.
You're right, by the way. By and large universities aren't preparing people for the modern world. Many of the programs don't prepare people for any world as far as I can tell.

I didn't spend as much time as I'd like reviewing this one. This is how mistakes happen. Hopefully I didn't miss anything important...

Oh! And this one's for you, Despair Anon.

>You are Luna.
>You’re disappointed.
>The palace kitchen was out of your favorite tea.
>Or rather, it was stored improperly.
>There are admittedly a fair amount of rules for maintaining a top quality leaf, but surely the palace staff SHOULD know what they’re doing.
>Alas you’re stuck with an inferior brew.
>You put down your teacup on the saucer before you.
>Gently so as not to make a noise.
>It sits upon the desk in the old abandoned guard station.
>The one that has a nice, clear view of the long forgotten cells of Canterlot’s dungeon’s sub-basement.
>A relic of crueler times when it was sometimes necessary to ‘extract’ information in rather unpleasant ways.
>The one candle in the whole chamber flickers brightly illuminating the chains and bars that are strewn about, waiting for their next victim.
>A victim that will hopefully never arrive.
>Indeed, they shall all be neglected this time as you have a new approach you wish to try out.
>Ideally you’d never use such measures again.
>But you’ll allow yourself an exception in this one instance.
>Sparkle hangs limply, tied to a tall pipe in a glass box.
>A box which COULD have been wooden.
>But you wanted to watch.

>>29112899
>Her rear hooves dangle just above the ground below, bound tight to the metal piping.
>Her head is strapped up higher with her muzzle forced down.
>Blindfolded and muzzled of course.
>You get to choose what she sees and says. Not her.
>And finally a separate pipe hangs above her head, just above her horn stump.
>She slowly starts to awaken.
>A process that takes far too long for your liking.
>But finally…

>”MMHP!”

>An attempted scream.
>Or perhaps a shout?
>It’s difficult to tell.
>She tries to push some mana through her horn-

>”HHHHHNG!”

>Definitely a shriek, that one.
>A couple sparks fly out of the stump on her forehead.
>Which has been cleaned of course. You don’t want it to get infected.
>You’re cruel, not evi-
>Well, okay.
>Maybe a little evil.
>Just around the edges.
>You grin as she starts thrashing against her bindings.
>The ropes that ensnare her body refuse to yield.
>And the pipe to which she’s bound holds firm.
>Perhaps had she better developed her Earth magicks she’d have a chance of breaking free.
>You’ve little doubt that a natural born earth pony could shake loose given time.
>An earth pony who’d properly developed their body such as Applejack could easily bend the pipe enough to get a solid footing on the ground.
>But you’re not dealing with them.
>You’re dealing with Twilight Sparkle.
>Her struggling begins to die down as her stamina fades.
>The brevity of her fight betrays the soft life she’s lived.
>When she finally gives up and settles down you raise your teacup.
>Not to drink, as it has been drained.
>You raise it so you can set it down again.

*clink*

>”WHURF-DRR? HLLLP!”

>It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what the last word was.
>But you don’t help her.
>You do nothing save for wait.
>There’s no reason to let her know who’s there or what’s happening.
>It is enough that she knows there’s somepony watching.
>Somepony who doesn’t intend to aid her.

>>29112907
>You simply let her stew in her fear a while longer.
>And you take a moment to admire your work.
>The glass box was provided by ponies, but the plumbing?
>That was your work.
>’Welded’ together with your own hooves.
>It was a rush job, but it shall suffice.
>An inlet just around belly height for fluids to enter.
>A crook going well above her head.
>And a drain poking through the bottom of her glass prison awaiting an opportunity to drain.
>Eventually you can wait no longer.
>It would have been preferable to leave her in her terror a while longer, but your patience has worn thin in recent days.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news for you.”

>She lets out what you think to be a gasp.

“The effects of dark magic linger long after you’ve stopped using it. Even my rather… unorthodox cure cannot change this fact.”

>”PRRS DNT U RNT RR YHNGHN!”

>You don’t actually know what she said.
>But you’re going to assume she was pleading.
>That’s what ponies usually do in her position.
>Even though you’ve not done anything like this since coming back, that fact hasn’t been forgotten.
>And so you let out a bitter, fake laugh.

“Oh, you think I was talking about YOUR condition? No, I was talking about MINE! And MY madness- my HATRED and cruelty? They’re VERY bad news for YOU.”

>There’s some more unintelligible words.
>You really don’t care what she has to say.

“Funny thing is that I know what I’m about to do is terrible and that were I well I wouldn’t even consider it. I simply don’t care right now. I gave you an ultimatum, Twilight Sparkle.”

>Her body tenses up.
>She holds a breath.

“No magic. How difficult is that? And despite the simplicity of the task, you failed me. As I knew you would. That’s why I’ve… revoked your magic privileges.”

>She growls slightly.
>Surely she hasn’t already forgotten her situation.

>>29112915
“Were that the whole story I’d have let you go when I was done. Perhaps I’d have even appointed some staff to help ease your suffering. Care for you in the trying days and years to come. But you managed to do more than fail.”

>”HFFF! HHHHF!”

>Her wild thrashing continues for a brief period as she realises what’s coming next.
>But of course she quickly tires.
>That’s why you let her tire herself out BEFORE you started speaking.

“You struck me. You tried to strangle me. You stole my throne. And I suspect you were planning on crushing my head. I think you can understand why I might be a tad upset.”

>She lamely pulls against her bindings.
>Desperation can only carry one so far through exhaustion.
>Eventually the limits of the body will be reached.

“Had you stopped there? It’s hard to say what would happen. I’d have taken your horn for certain, and almost definitely banished you from Canterlot. Beyond that I don’t know. Perhaps I’d have done nothing more. I understand better than any what was going on in your head at the time; I can sympathise. I’d have done the very same not so long ago.”

>You idly wonder if she’s feeling some faint hope at this moment.
>Ideally not.
>You want her to know nothing save for pain and despair.

“But you went one step further. You went after MY FUCKING SISTER. You tried to KILL the single best pony to ever grace this world. And what’s more? You BETRAYED her trust. She never even considered the possibility that you might turn on her. I can’t forgive this, Twilight. In a thousand years, nay, a thousand millennia I won’t have forgiven you. Consider yourself lucky that she WILL recover. Yes, she’ll be fine. There’s nothing important between her ears, and for once that isn’t an insult. Rather, it’s your saving grace. Because if you’d actually managed to kill her? I’d devote every instant of the rest of eternity to making you PRAY that you might join her.”

>>29112922
>You stand and move towards her.
>She tries to shy away from you, likely expecting you to strike her.
>You’ve got something better in mind.
>Instead, you reach up to the pipe above her head and turn a valve.
>Ice cold water starts showering down on her head wounds and begins collecting around her legs.

“Having running water in Canterlot was no small feat you know. Getting an effectively endless supply of it to come to the top of a mountain, all without magic no less.”

>You close the valve to leave her only partially submerged.

“I’ll spare you the details of the public water system. It’s quite dull in practice. But in effect it’s rather remarkable. So long as it rains, there is water delivered into every home. And while the system requires maintenance and surveillance the bulk of the work does itself. A feat which I’ve underappreciated in the past. But now I’ve seen just how far such an approach can take you. Equestria was humiliated by a creature that hardly did any of his own work at all. Instead, he reshaped the world such that nature worked for him. I intend to follow suit starting now. Tell me, are you familiar with the greedy cup?”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_cup

“An incredible device really. It drains itself if you overfill it. Without any magic whatsoever. When I first learned of it I was unimpressed. But nearly two thousand years later I’ve seen the light. And indeed, I suspect it shall prove useful.”

>You open the valve once more.
>Water floods in.
>Sparkle starts screaming and weakly struggling.
>To no avail of course.
>Before too long her head is completely submerged.
>Air bubbles come out of her nostrils rapidly before dwindling down to nothing.
>She appears to be too afraid to have the presence of mind needed to properly hold her breath.
>Perfect.
>And just when she stops thrashing, right when she’s about to yield to a watery grave...
>The water fills the siphon, and her prison drains.

>>29112928
>Water continues to pour in as it marks down the seconds before she once more drowns.
>But you close the valve.
>Not out of mercy of course.
>But because you’re not done speaking.

“I can go about my business quite readily as you drown over and over again… it’s magnificent really. I can forget all about you here in this hidden and forgotten area; I could leave you here for weeks on end to suffer. Time was I’d torment my enemies in their dreams. An effective if laborious process. I needed ample time and magic to keep a mere hooffull away from their much needed rest. But now I finally see it all for what it is. A crutch. Magic, even its most innocent form, is addictive in a way. It solves so many problems that your solutions is always to use more. It blinds you to the simpler, more elegant solutions. Perhaps this is why we ponies have stagnated as of late. Perhaps that’s why there were only marginal innovations during my absence. No more!”

>You cycle the water through again.
>This time slowing the flow after she’s submerged to keep her underwater for a bit longer.
>You wait until everything has gone down the drains before cutting the flow and talking again.

“The word ‘nightmare’ was coined in my honor you know. Everyone, be they pony or otherwise, feared my magic. Those who crossed me suffered in ways they’d never imagined. But through it all, there was always a problem. It was my magic that they feared. Not me. They all believed me to be no more than my magic. And though all my victims are long ago deceased, it’s time for me to prove them wrong. Princess Luna doesn’t NEED magic to excel. I shall prove that my talents go far beyond control of the heavens and command over dreams. And the first step? I’m going to show to you that I don’t need magic to be your worst nightmare.”

>You turn open the valve and start to walk away.

“Enjoy your personal Tartarus, Twilight.”

>>29112937
>You slam one of the vacant cell doors to punctuate your departure.
>A meaningless act of course.
>But as far as she knows that was the exit to the room.
>Instead you leave that door open.
>Open such that you or one of your assistants might enter without making sound.
>It’d be best if she didn’t know she was being watched.
>But sadly, despite all your words, you must monitor her.
>It wouldn’t do for her to actually drown for real.
>Which is why Spitfire is here.
>Standing upstairs by the trap door that leads down to this damnable place.
>Waiting for word on why you summoned her here.

“Did you stop by the wine cellar as I asked?”

>The question was a mere formality.
>There’s a look of grim determination on her tear stained face.
>She saw Celestia’s ‘corpse’.

>”Who did it?”

“Remember this feeling. It will serve you well in the near future. Sister yet lives. There’s nothing vital stored in her head. Thankfully. The question isn’t whether or not she’s alive, the question is if I can put her back together without guidance. Something that remains to be seen.”

>”WHO DID IT?”

>You should punish her for yelling at you.
>But truth be told she’s exhibiting exactly the fury you were hoping for.
>Were she a unicorn you’d be worried about having another dark mage on your hooves.
>But with pegasi?
>As far as you know there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of blinding hatred here and there.

“That’s why I’ve called you here. I’ve already apprehended the pony responsible, one Twilight Sparkle.”

>”The purple bitch?”

>>29112942
“Indeed. It’s time for her to face punishment. But there’s a slight problem. We can’t have her dying before she’s served her sentence, and I can’t stay and watch her. I’ve got a sister to repair. I’ve called you here because I need somepony who will understand the gravity of the crime committed today. And while my ponies would surely do as I told them, it would shake them to the core. I’m doing something somewhat barbaric, something that I didn’t think would be necessary in this modern age. I don’t know you well, Captain, but I know what you think of Celestia. I wonder, though, if you’ll find my methods too extreme.”

>”If you’re not pulling their teeth it’s not extreme enough.”

>Crude.
>Overly simplistic.
>Not repeatable enough.
>She doesn’t really understand the art of torture.
>Even so, it’s harsh.
>She’ll do well enough.

“Maybe later. For now though? Make sure she she keeps breathing. If she actually dies then her punishment is over. And try not to let her know you’re there, I want her to think I’ve abandoned her to her fate. Don’t be afraid to break the glass if you need to get her out in a hurry. That’s replaceable. She’s not. Remember that feeling, Captain.”

>>29112950
>You walk away without another word.
>You make your way through the empty dungeons and head towards your machine shop.
>You’ve much work to do.


>You are Spike.
>Your ‘heart’ is racing as you drop from the sky.
>The roaring jets push to correct your course as you rapidly plummet toward the ground.
>And yet somehow, despite falling from the heavens as a star might, you land.
>Alive.
>You take a few minutes to collect yourself before unstrapping and stepping up.
>And when you do, the side panel of the airship drops down.
>And opens up into the remains of the sanctuary.
>You feel almost as though you’re stepping into a blast furnace as you survey the wreckage.

“What happened?”

>”Right behind you.”

>You turn your head.
>The dome sags around a massive hole that reveals the sun, facing directly at two floating balls of light.
>The Titans?
>Why didn’t you see them back in Ponyville?
>You’d assumed they were simply too dim to see from the surface.
>Unless…

“Why was I on the ship for so long waiting for take off?”

>”I didn’t want you flying around an active battle.”

>Recent kills then.
>You probably launched the moment they died.
>You look at the puddles of metal that lay on the ground.
>You don’t need thermal imaging to know they’re hot.
>The bright red glow is more than sufficient.
>They might not even be solid just yet.
>Molten even after several hours...

>”Yeah. Stay back from that, I’d be hard pressed to pull your out if you fell in.”

“Fell in?”

>”They made a pretty deep hole at the point of impact. That’s a lake you’re looking at.”

>A lake of molten metal.
>Wait.

“Impact? Did something fall?”

>”One spell landed. ONE. A bolt of mana from space. All the wreckage you see is from a single spell. I tried to record it, but my arcanoscopes were overwhelmed. Some blew themselves apart.”

>>29112962
>So far you haven’t seen that much damage.
>Sure, he’s had hours to repair, but, but last time the whole sanctuary was wrecked.
>Why then the emphasis that it was just one spell?
>One spell delivered from space-
>Wait just a hot second!

“Magic is a property of matter that can travel through a medium. If they didn’t make it into the atmosphere, how did they cast a spell?”

>”You’re asking all the right questions.”

“That’s not an answer.”

>”I don’t have an answer.”

>That’s kinda freaky.
>No more freaky than everything else that’s happening, but still.
>You shiver slightly despite the heat.

“I’m just glad they’re dead.”

>”When did I ever say they died?”

>You gesture up towards the blinding lights in the sky.

“They look pretty dead to me.”

>”I’m an expert at spacial distortion and teleportation. And I’ve been devoting pretty much all my spare time to studying magic ever since I was forced to admit it existed.”

“So?”

>”So I KNOW when a teleportation spell has been cast. About half their mass escaped. Discord never died when I blew him up; I suspect he used a similar trick. Escape with just enough to regrow. Maybe have some redundancy in important organs in case you get hit in a vital area? Not sure, I’m guessing here. Their baby might have escaped too, I don’t know. I didn’t know what to look for back then.”

>So they escaped?
>And they’re probably going to come back!
>Next time they’ll know what to expect.
>And everything is broken!
>How will-

>”That kind of energy doesn’t come from nowhere. I’d be shocked if they didn’t need a few years at least to get back into peak form. Don’t worry, we have time.”

>You’re not entirely sure how he knew what you were thinking.
>Maybe you’re just predictable?
>Or maybe he’s worried about the same thing.

>>29112970
“Shouldn’t you get started right away?”

>”Ideally yes. But there’s not much I can do until this place is fixed up. Might as well get other affairs in order while I wait. Come.”

>A swarm of dark grey sand- programmable matter he called it- amasses before you.
>It resolves itself into a chair.
>You sit upon it and it starts zooming away to some other part of the sanctuary.

>”Sorry. We have a bit of a trip to make. A circuit overload fried most of my controls over the dome so I can’t open it up for entrance at the moment. Couldn’t land you in the right place. Had to make do with the opening they provided.”

>You shoot toward the doorway to one of the adjacent cells.
>A doorway that’s constantly opening and trying to close, but being blocked by an immobile one of his flying worker machines.
>Something which has been strangely absent in the normally busy sanctuary.
>You zip through the doorway at blinding speed, narrowly avoiding the doorway as it tried to close on you.
>Calculated, surely.
>On the other side you see ruined flying workers scattered everywhere.
>Whole swarms of them that seemingly fell from the sky as one.
>The skyward facing cannons droop and sag, their formerly straight barrels having bent.
>Likely rendering them useless.

>”I had them firing too fast. The heat of each shot built up and melted them.”

>Ruining his own equipment to push a few more attacks through?
>That sounds like a desperate measure to you.
>You approach the next doorway…
>And stop.

>”Hold on a sec. Not safe to enter there yet. Aaand… there we go.”

>The door opens.
>A strong gust of wind blows into it from your back.

>>29112978
>”That weird green fire that spread out was hard to contain. The only solution I’ve found so far is to remove the atmosphere. Cooling it didn’t work, submerging it in water or even liquid nitrogen didn’t work. The strangest part is that it didn’t pop up at the spell’s landing zone, it appeared as a ring around it.”

>A green flame that cannot easily be extinguished.
>That burns through water and in the bitterest of colds.
>Dragonfire.
>As if to confirm your suspicions one of the many nameless machines bursts into flame as you zip by.
>It looks identical to your own.

”It needs a source of magic to sustain itself. We need to dispel it.”

>”On it.”

>A few minutes later you feel a wave of nothingness pass through you.
>Your magic has been severely weakened.
>Before all the changes you’d have likely been exhausted.
>Right now you merely feel heavy.

“Where’d you learn to do that?”

>”Luna used that trick to cancel a stasis spell on Celestia when she was done rebuilding her. She never did explain how it works though… for now I’m just happy that it does.”

“The fires are gone?”

>”Most of them.”

>Most.
>Dragonfire that can survive a dispel rune.
>You hear a loud crashing sound in the distance.
>The lights dim for a moment.
>Your chair changes course towards a different cell.

>”HOLY C- best avoid that one for now.”


“What happened!?”

>”They created some creatures that I was trying to study. Turns out they blow up when restrained. Good to know.”

>And now there are summons that are persisting even with the summoner gone.

“I’m not so sure I want to be here right now.”

>”It’s now or never. I’m not going to have much time for distractions once my factories are online.”

“And you’re sure it’s safe?”

>”I’ve reclaimed most of the cells. We just need to stick to the safe ones.”

>Reclaimed.
>Not repaired.
>You enter the next cell waiting to see what ruin will meet you.

>>29112982
>Instead of destroyed machinery you see nothing.
>Literally nothing.
>A perfect sphere of empty space digging well down below what should be the surface.
>Cutting into the walls and taking a small chunk out of the ceiling too.
>What horrifying work of sorcery did this?

>”In all honesty I don’t know what they did here. I just hope they didn’t steal it. As far as I can tell they don’t know how this stuff works, if they reverse engineered it they’d be even more dangerous. All the more reason for my to call home and get some proper weapons.”

>You shoot into the next cell.
>Mercifully nearly everything seems to be in good order.
>And the wild ride comes to an end.
>Your chair dissolves out from under you.
>You meet the ground with a gentle stride and start walking onto a small metal pad
>You’re not sure what it’s for, but that’s where he left you.

“I thought you said they only landed one spell.”

>”As far as I can tell, yes.”

“Then why were there so many effects so spread out? None of this makes sense!”

>He doesn’t say anything.

“They cast spells in space, they teleported while blowing up, one spell had dozens of effects-”

>”Hundreds actually.”

“Summons and dragonfire are persisting without the caster being around to power them, they’re persisting after being dispelled. None of this makes any sense! This isn’t possible!”

>”Clearly it is. Maybe they know of some loophole that we haven’t thought of, or maybe we’re just wrong about what’s possible.”

“Loophole. It has to be. There’s no other way!

>”Try to be a bit more open minded about what can and can’t happen. Just because we say something is true doesn’t make it so. It just means we’re pretty certain that we’re close to truth.”

“So you’re saying all of magical theory is wrong?”

>>29112984
>”All theories and models are wrong, Spike. But some of them are useful. Now. Try to channel your flight magic. We’re going to get some readings.”

>That’s easy.
>Sure, you’ve never flown before.
>For rather obvious reasons.
>But the magic has always been there.
>Much like how you never needed to learn to breath.
>Sure, you’re probably doing a lot of things wrong.
>One doesn’t wake up one morning and become a wonderbolt.
>It takes more than basic mana control to become an archmage.
>But you can at least command the magic in its most basic form.
>You desire flight.
>You wish to fly.
>You want-

>”Gettin’ something. Very weak arcane signature, but a reasonable decrease in weight. Hold on. Let’s try something else.”

>Hours pass.
>You note how the Sanctuary is rapidly returning to its original state around you.
>At least this cell is.
>The fallen flying machines have been cleared out, and replaced or repaired.
>At the beginning of the testing there was hardly anything moving about.
>But now the swarm has returned in full force.
>Going about mysterious tasks that you’d been assured are largely mundane.

>”Right, so what happens if we do it in a closed environment?”

“We’ve already done that.”

>”We’re doing it again.”

>More time passes.
>With more repetition in testing.
>And more obscure instruments monitoring you.
>The same experiment over and over again.
>With the exact same result every time.
>You’re growing tired.
>The magic you’ve been using has become a real tax upon you, each iteration draining you a little bit more.
>Before long you’ll be able to ‘fly’ no more.

>”Right. We’re doing it again!”

“We’ve. Done. It. Test over.”

>”Just one more time. This time I’m SURE everything’s calibrated properly.”

“You were sure thirty tries ago!”

>”And then I got the wrong result! There’s NO WAY you violate conservation of mass!”

>Wrong result?
>Oh.
>You see what’s happening.

>>29112988
“Just how much of your knowledge is instinct?”

>”Just the basics. Stuff that’s been known for thousands of years. Now start channeling that magic. I’m going to find out where that missing mass is going!”

>He has some expectation built into his mind.
>A belief that isn’t meant to be shaken.
>Something akin to how you KNOW things fall when you drop them.
>And reality doesn’t match his expectations.
>You take off the elastic harness.
>Remove the weird cap with the blinking lights.
>Push away the flying cameras.
>And walk off the scale.

“Either there’s some loophole that you haven’t thought of, or conservation of mass isn’t a thing.”

>”That’s preposterous! It’s been tested and proven time and again over the ages! It’s one of the fundamental cornerstones of the theory of everything- there’s no way that all of physics is wrong!”

“Try to be a bit more open minded about what can and can’t happen. All theories and models are wrong. Some are just useful.”

…

>”You’re a cheeky one, aren’t you?”

“Am I wrong?”

>”No. No, you have a point. It’s just been so bizarre since I came to this place. Do you have any idea what it’s like to see impossible things everywhere? To find things that defy reason no matter you look? To have common sense and instinct scream at you that reality is wrong?”

>You quickly survey the sanctuary and its innumerable autonomous flying hunks of metal using your lightning powered super eye.

“Yeah. I think I have a rough idea of how that feels.”

>”Oh. Right.”

>It never ceases to amaze you how oblivious he can be.
>One moment he seems omniscient, the next he forgets that he’s talking to a dragon.
>Is it some problem with his head?
>Is he just self absorbed?
>Or maybe he’s multitasking too hard.
>You have no idea.

“So, will it work? Can I fly?”

>”Probably? I dunno. This might hurt a bit by the way.”

>>29112994
“What is that?”

>”Surgery done right. Well, almost right. Pretty close. I’m unlicenced, you know. Pretty serious legal repercussions for this, but in for a [penny] in for a [pound].”

>You’re not sure what that means.
>Either way you’re having second thoughts.

>”Instead of cutting you open and putting new parts in there, I’m building the parts inside you. No need for light scalpels. Like I said. Not enough room for proper neural augments; maybe if I knew what I was doing I could pull it off. Or maybe if I was rebuilding your whole body. Whatever.”

>You can feel a weird presence at the back of your mind.
>Almost like there’s a whole other consciousness just behind your own.
>You focus on it.
>But nothing happens.

>”Ask a question.”

“Why?”

>Standard testing protocols for a neural graft involve attempting to activate said database.

>That was really weird.
>It felt like you were telling yourself that.
>As though you were simultaneously learning and remembering the same information.

>”Feels weird and a bit unsettling?”

“Y-yeah.”

>”Good.”

>Why would that be good?

>Seamless access to foreign knowledge, while possible, is not desirable. Information provided in such a manner becomes indistinguishable from the user’s own memories and experiences.

>That’s so weird.

“So if it didn’t feel weird like that, I wouldn’t know that it wasn’t me?”

>”You’d lose your own past into the database. In small doses it can be hilarious, but in the extreme you need to unplug else you’ll lose yourself.”

“So Celestia has to deal with this weird feeling all the time?"

>>29113005
>”No. She got the seamless interface because she’s filling her database with her own memories. There is no foreign information to get mixed in. It should feel totally natural. If I were to drop some information into her mind though, she’d believe it was real no matter how absurd. And with the way the brain works it’ll make up any excuse it needs to cover any inconsistencies. I just put a short video in Celestia’s memory, next time you see her ask her about the time she went skydiving. Oh. Then tell me when you’re done, I should really delete it afterwards. I’m urinated at her but overwriting with her past is a step too far.”

>Urinated at her?
>Must be a translation problem.

>”All done in your head. Moving on.”

>So you have access to the biggest library in the world.
>Built into your head.
>So many questions that need answering.
>You focus on it.
>What is his homeworld like?

ACCESS DENIED

>”I suppose now is as good of time as any to bring this up. Like I said, you’re too small to hold all the stuff you wanted, so I just connected you to my wireless network. You’re getting the data from my machines; it isn’t stored locally.”

“Which means I just asked your machines for information.”

>”Yes.”

“And that they probably noted what I’d asked for.”

>”Try to keep your nose clean. I can’t tell what you’re thinking, I just know what files you request.”

>You’re not really happy about this.
>Having somebody watching every time you try to look something up.
>It’s just wrong.
>But it’s what you’ve got.
>Better to have monitored access than no access.
>You’ll just have to make do…

>”You sure you want to go through with the next step? You’ll look pretty striking. You won’t be able to blend in at all you know.”

>You just tap your fake leg in response.
>You go numb from the neck down.

>”Fair point.”

>Something seems to be holding you up but you can’t tell what.

>>29113013
>”You should still be able to talk. Let’s discuss a few things.”

“Business or distraction?”

>”Both. As bright as you are, I doubt you’ll be able to get as much done as we want on your own. Not in a reasonable amount of time at least. You’re going to need equipment, staff, funding.”

“I figured you’d provide the equipment I needed.”

>”You’re not going to be hearing much from me in the coming years. Fighting is one thing, ripping space a new one is another. It’s going to take a Tartarus of a lot of work, but I need to see what weapon schematics I can get.”

“I’m sorry. Ripping space a new one?”

>”I’m a long way from home. Only way to get in touch is with a wormhole. That’s why they sent me here, to make one. Of course all the prep work was supposed to have been done before I left. Now I need to re-do the whole thing, and I’m not as bright as the people who did it the first time. It’ll take years to get it back online.”

“Hold on. You mean to tell me it took months to make this-”

>You try to gesture out at the sanctuary.
>Your numb limbs fail you.

“And it’ll take years to make that?”

>>29113028
>”Yes. I can’t just up and make a [wormhole] all the way home. It’s physically impossible. I’d need eight times infinite energy to get there, which obviously isn’t happening. Instead I have to sync up with relays that other people have set up for me. Since all this hardware takes so much energy to make we’re trying to pull it off with small relays spaced far apart. Imagine you’re firing an arrow at a target. If it’s right close you don’t need to be very precise to hit it. If it’s further away then being off by even a single degree will make you miss. Now imagine it’s 2 quintillion meters away. Now pretend it’s moving a million of meters per second. That’s my job. Speaking of, somebody’s going to be counting on me to be up and running in a couple hundred years… I need to get started on this pretty much right away.”

“You haven’t started yet? I thought you’d have been eager to go home. It sounds so much better than this place.”

>”Yeah…”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

>”I was made to be free, Spike. My father valued liberty greatly, to an irrational degree if you ask me. It’s hard wired into my psyche. There’s some irony there if you think about it.”

>You don’t really see what that has to do with anything.
>Unless…

“Are you hiding from an oppressive regime?”

>”Depends who you ask. I think they’re quite reasonable. Dad was furious that he wasn’t allowed to own weapons of mass destruction.”

“Like your exploding shots?”

>”No, I said MASS destruction. Think big. Personally I don’t see that as being too big of a problem, no reason why every nutjob should be able to own a world cracker. They’re not even that useful anyway, good luck ever landing one without hijacking a rift nexus.

>WORLD cracker?

>>29113040
>”Of course he went out of his way to show me real oppression. He even took me to [Venus]. To this day I can’t help but wonder if getting caught was part of his plan. He was a pretty big guy for them, maybe he thought he could crash the prison ship and escape or something.”

“So if you’re okay with the laws back home, why haven’t you gone back yet?”

>”I never said I was okay with the laws. Maybe I was once, but things change. Anyone who should interfere with the development of an alien species without explicit permission from a two thirds majority of the [interplanetary] council has committed an offence.”

>Interfere with development.
>You can think of SEVERAL things he’s done that qualify.

“You’re a fugitive?”

>He doesn’t answer.

“Because Equestria attacked you, you can’t go home?”

>”Indirectly I suppose. I’d probably be able to talk my way out of that. Say it was life or death, and that they’d lose the gateway if I didn’t protect myself. I’d probably be let off the hook for that. And I was hoping to be able to put you back together with flesh and blood, sweep my intervention under the rug.”

“But now there’s thousands out there that are alive because of you.”

>”I’m not going to be able to hide that. Or the temple they’re building to me in Cloudsdale. Idiots.”

>Temple?

”Why? None of this, nothing that’s happening around here is your problem. It’s not your fault. Why
would you give up so much for the ponies that have abused you so much?”

>”Copulate the constabulary.”

>What.

>>29113042
>”I wasn’t planning on helping out. Not at first anyway. When I was reviewing what happened while I was, let’s say indisposed, I learned that Luna had said something. Everyone is guilty of all the good they didn’t do. She said that the ultimate proof that the Titans were evil wasn’t their aggression, it was their apathy. This made sense to me. It might be possible to forget using this place as their toy in time. Forget, not forgive. But every morning, every single day she walked this world in her long life, she saw reminders of what they’d left her with. Famine. Disease. Senescence. Pain, suffering, toil, and general misery. They made this place. They had the power to fix most, if not all of these problems. They refused. To this day nearly all the blood that’s spilt is on their tentacles. Their refusal to help was one of the greatest cruelties imaginable. This is what Luna meant when she said that. And I agreed with her every word.”

>You’ve never really looked at them that way.
>Maybe it’s because they were ancient history before you were born.
>Maybe it’s because the way things are are just normal to you.
>Or maybe it’s just because you never really took the time to think about it.

>”Then she turned the same reasoning on me. I refused to intervene when I was the only one that could save tens of thousands of lives. She called me cruel. And she was right! If I were [Venutian] I’d have been designed to obey the letter of the law at all costs. As a [Terran] I’d have probably been designed to obey the law unless I was in immediate danger. Were I [Plutonian] I’d have likely been designed to seek revenge. I’m none of those things. I was designed to do what I thought was best first and foremost.”

“Are you implying that there are people who are born without the ability to disobey?”

>”I wouldn’t go so far as to call them people.”

>>29113053
>One of his flying machines moves up in front of you.
>One of its tentacles rises up and touches the top of its disc.
>You hear a clapping noise and smoke starts rising from the thing as it drops to the ground.

>”These things have about as much autonomy as they did. And they’ll destroy themselves if I ask them to. They were alive but they weren’t people.”

>That’s awful!

“That’s terrible! The people that made them that way would be considered their parents, right? How could a mother of father do that to their child?”

>”By degrees.”

“What do you mean?”

>”I’m not talking about that anymore.”

“But-”

>”Drop it.”

>You must have hit a nerve of some sort.
>Probably best not to push him.

>”Back on task. The knowledge you’ve got access to is useless if you don’t know it’s there. Focus your studies on learning concepts, not details. If you can’t remember a formula that’s fine. If you don’t know that gravity is even a thing you’re not going to get good results. It took me hundreds of years of school to familiarize myself with the network, shouldn’t take nearly as long here though. The network around here is much much smaller than what I had access to at home. It only contains the knowledge I brought with me after all.”

“So all the time I spent memorizing details was a waste?”

>”Basically. Go for a wide breadth of knowledge and only seek specifics when needed. Don’t expect to understand everything you find in there either. The best and brightest in the universe have contributed to that thing. Nobody understands all of it. Even the pared down version I have here is beyond my understanding. I doubt you’ll be able to augment yourself any time soon using that thing. It’ll tell you how, sure, but you won’t get it.”

>>29113057
“Sorta like when Sweetie Belle checked out that book on advanced thaumaturgy to learn how to levitate stuff?”

>”I don’t know who that is. Given enough time I suspect you’d be able to grasp it all. You’d just have to take it one step at a time. Walk before you run and all that. Now. Try to fly.”

>Your body is no longer numb.
>And your shoulders are pretty sore.
>Not really hurting, just sore.
>You focus on your magic again.
>As depleted as it is you manage to get a decent flow.
>A pulsing roaring sound emanates from behind you.
>And you lift off.
>You may or may not let out an undignified yelp as you panic, losing your focus and ruining the flow of magic.
>You then fall to the ground.

>”It worked! It actually worked! I- I can barely believe it. I must admit I’m somewhat envious now. I was supposed to be the first fusion of magic and [human] tech.”

>There’s a faint whirring noise behind you.
>You look back and feel around.
>You can’t find anything behind you.

>”They fold up and retract when not in use. Can’t do that for most of course, the heat from a pulse jet would burn them up if it went in so soon. Luckily? Dragon.”

>You focus on your flight magic again.
>A fan of thin tubes pops out from your back, and a steady stream of flame just barely rims the bottom.
>You stop.
>The tubes retract into themselves seemingly having been telescopic in nature.
>And then they retract under your scales.
>Presumably retreating into your body.

>”Ask my network to fly you to a location. It’ll calculate the fastest safe trajectory and steer for you. Oh, and use this carefully. As you already know this is burning the fuel you normally use to breath fire. You could very well find yourself running out mid-flight. And try not to start any fires with it either. I think we’re all done here, yes? I’ll give you a lift to Canterlot.”

>>29113065
“Why Canterlot?”

>”To make a withdrawal. Didn’t I tell you? You’re the richest being on this planet now. You’ve got way too much work to do, no time to worry about stupid things like money.”

“How? You don’t have any bits.”

>”I have gold. Had, it’s yours now. Get some assistants you can trust to manage it for you. Hire others to do the physical work for you, your mind is far more productive than your claws ever will be. Delegate everything you can. Nobody ever made it big by doing all their work themselves. And Spike? Good luck.”

>The side of the aircraft opens up.
>And you climb in.
>Knees already shaking at the thought of it…
>A huge hoard of gold.
>Bigger than any other hoard in the world.
>Every dragon’s dream...


That's it.
Hopefully you didn't hurt yourself on that edge. I make no apologies for putting it in though.

Spike's wings aren't important to the story, and I DID consider excluding them. However I figured it was a good opportunity to demonstrate that magitech was capable of doing things that both camps previously thought impossible. Thoughts?
Oh. And don't expect to hear anything from me until next year. Probably a week into it even.

>>29113127
Nice.

>>29113127
>Oh. And don't expect to hear anything from me until next year. Probably a week into it even.

oh poop.

>>29113127
ohshit this will take me at least an hour to read

>>29113127
I liked the torture scene it fit really well with the theme.
I feel like this is one of those stories that can spawn a hundred more and they are always the most fun to read.
Always a pleasure to read.

>>29113127
So anon started to use magic? I can`t v8 to see him using it, just imagine you could make a magic box inside which time time flows twice as faster, that would double the speed of any device that operates in it.

Also that room
>A perfect sphere of empty space digging well down below what should be the surface.
>Cutting into the walls and taking a small chunk out of the ceiling too.

Would be funny if they just shrinked the room and when spell is worn off it would expand to its previous size crushing itself and newly installed equipment.

>>29113127
>Oh. And don't expect to hear anything from me until next year. Probably a week into it even.

So two weeksish? A bit on the longer side but not too unusual

>>29113127
If dragons in this Equestria grow in proportion to their horde, he's going to gain a few inches.

10

>>29113127
It's nice to see spike finally go full trans-dragon. Also, the idea that anon could have serious trouble challenging ideas that had been written into his genome is good and interesting.