>"We appreciate you buying us dinner and everything Anon,

>>28960960
some random waifu suicide bullshit bla bla

but if it were
>"We appreciate you buying us dinner and everything Anon, but you're not really either of our types. We're more interested each other."
id cum instantly

tf is chad?

>oh that's cool, one sec just need to go bathroom.

Walk out and let them pay.

Wingman for them and help them hook up with chad, what else?

I start screeching really really loud, then remove my XXXL adult incontinence product and start spinning it at high speeds at arm's length like a pee pee poo poo-filled sling. Is that what you want to hear? Is that what we are here for?

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>>28960960
>your friend Chad
>having friends

>>28960960
>"Sorry, AJ, but Chad is into your brother..."

>implying I was interested in you
I was hungry and didn't want to look like a creepy fuck eating alone.

the PS triple is better than the Wii

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>>28960960
>having friends
>Chad, of all people

>>28961044
Dubs comfirm

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>>28960960
>chad
NO

NO I COME HERE TO GET AWAY FROM THAT REE-TARD9K SHIT

>>28960960
Who the fuck is Chad?
Isnt that a country?

Keep that shit in faggot9k

>>28960960
>>>/r9k/

>>28961035
>I'd look creepy eating alone.
You wouldn't in a diner. Maybe a high class place, but not a Diner

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>>28960960

While I understand the culture of the 'chan is to be self-deprecating, I still feel that these types of threads are unnecessary and just plain gross.

I hope you fellows do not actually get 'off' to this or something, it'd be quite sad if you did...

>>28960960
>implying I didn't just bring her here and do that favor for her so she may give me permission to date her little sister
>implying I didn't bring RD along for the sake of it not being mistaken as anything intimate
>implying I have a friend Chad

>>28960960
>Applejack was talking to you, but you barely registered what she was saying.
>Your attention was directed somewhere else - her friend Rainbow Dash.
>You stared into her beautiful magenta eyes, unable to look away, and she gave you quite the show sucking on the straw in her drink.
>You felt the room had suddenly become uncomfortably warm, and you pants were too tight.
>Rainbow gave you a knowing look.
>You have a good feeling about tonight

>>28961035
>look creepy eating alone
In a diner?

>>28960960
I've never even jerked it to either of those two. I wouldn't care.

>>28960960
Story of my life.

Also

Fuck off, he's mine

>>28960960
ditch, them
go try my luck with that qt3.14 who's all alone in the background

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The only Chad I've ever known in my life was a fat, deaf, ginger kid.

Your move, girls.

>>28962412
>go try my luck with that qt3.14 who's all alone in the background
She's waiting for her date, Chad.

>>28960960
Oh chad, he's my boyfriend.
I'm glad we could have a girl's night out, I'm pretty exhausted of chad being all over my dick.

>>28962427
kys yourself pl0x

>>28960960
I just wanted to have a dinner out with friends you stuck up cunts.
And who is Chad anyway?

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>>28960960

Chad: 'Fuck off Anon, you incel loveshy subhuman. These mares are mine for the fuckin'!'

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>>28962420
>The only Chad I've ever known in my life was a fat, deaf, ginger kid.

,,,and you lot voted for him.

>>28961544
good taste my dude

>>28961035
autism

>>28960960
"Wait, interested how?"
>"How do ya think?"
"Even though you're gay?"
>"He's -that- awesome."
"...You know what? I'm not even mad, I'm impressed. I mean he's really got....it."

Chad? Don't you may Thad?
Cucked by the UPS man again.

>>28960960

>there's a chad anon in equestria

Lol, as if he would last a day without getting killed by other desperate anons.

>>28962682
As if they could muster any courage at all to do anything about it.

>>28962697

Horse pussy is a strong motivational tool.

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>>28960960
>You sit, gobsmacked
"Hold on" you begin, motioning to the stuffed imitation of yourself sitting beside you that you'd named 'Chad'
"You mean, you mean you two are actually attracted... to him!?"
>Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchange sympathetic looks
>"Well, gosh Anon, it's nothin' personal" says Applejack
>"Yeah" continues Rainbow "You're friend's just so..."
>The two of them shudder uncontrollably
>"Awesome"
>You place your head into your hands and sink down onto the table
>How could this have happened?
>You just needed an excuse to bring both ponies on a double date so you could seduce both of them and so came up with the idea of 'Chad'
>You'd lied and said he was just another member of your species but didn't talk much. And now they were attracted to him?
>He was a stuffed doll for Christ's sake!
>Beside you, your movements shake the stuffed doll loose and it's hand falls forward grasping a handful of bits that you'd hidden for safe keeping
>"Aww well shucks, Chad. I didn't know you were such a gentlecolt" says Applejack, taking her hat off
>Rainbow says nothing, a slight blush coming over her cheeks
>"I don't suppose you'd care to entertain two young mares with a night out on the town, would you, Chad?"
>The stuffed doesn't respond
>"Great!" cry both mares at the same time and before you can react they hoist Chad out of seat next to you and trot towards the entrance, supporting the doll between the two of them
>"Haha, oh Chad stop it, you!" you hear Rainbow giggle
>You sit, despondent for a moment before a guttural rage overtakes you
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD"

Chad wins in every universe

>>28962706
Works both ways

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>>28962715
>tfw you have less personality, charisma and charm than a stuffed doll.


I'm sorry ma....

>>28960960
Who's Chad?

>>28960960
"Chad?"
>"Ya, Chad. Yuno, that other alien guy that lives a'few miles east of the farm?"
"Wait, what"
>"Don't you know im'? He's also green with no face, I'd think yall know each other"
"..."
>"..."

>Anon quickly stands up from his seat at the booth and bolts out of the restaurant before even Rainbow Dash could react, yelling into the dark night "I'm not the only one!"

>>28960960
"Buying? I- oh... uh, darn."
>"Yeah, again, REAL sorry. We okay?"
"Sure, sure... you guys wanna order some dessert?"
>"Mmph! You know? That actually sounds great."
"Cool, I'll be back in a minute. Gotta hit the loo."
--------------

"-and they thought I was paying!"
>"Pffft, for reals?"
"Dude, I saw the looks on their faces, I don't think they were joking."
>"BAHA, bruh, they saw your wallet on the couch, right?"
"Doubtful. Man; Earth, Equestria, doesn't matter. Basic bitches are basic bitches."
>"Yeah. Remember Christy and Jamie?"
"I remember getting away with the same thing."
>"Good times."
"Welp, just going to avoid them for a few months and play ignorant if they bring it up. Oh, what about you?"
>"What ABOUT me? Do I look like I want some country bitch who probably doesn't wash or her dyke friend?"
"No, I mean, if they come hollering for some D."
>"Easy, just tell them I'm fucking Pinkie."
"Well, that's mean to Pink."
>"Dude, smell my finger."
"Ah-GAH!"
>"Ha haaaa. Two in the pink, man. Two in the pink."
"... I really value our friendship."
>"Pause."
"No homo."
>"There we go."

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>>28962805
>He's also green with no face, I'd think yall know each other"

>>28960960
B...But Chad's gay!

>>28962966
>"Nuh uh."
"Yeah-huh! Bitch! You stay the fuck away from my man!"
>"What?!"


>As Anon is lead into the police carriage, he looks to the two mares.
>AJ suffered 3rd degree burns and Dash won't be flying for months.
>You planned to have a nice dinner with friends and found out these THIEVING MARE CUNTS were trying to cuckold you.
>Nuh uh, nope.
>That's YOUR man.

>>28960972
This man is literally me
I'd just dab on outta there

>>28960960
"Well that's very rude of you to say, and even more rude of you to do. You must have known that before we even talked about coming here, and you set it up anyway. I refuse to pay for anything but my food, and I would appreciate you leaving me alone for a few days so I can reorganize myself.
Please let me contact you before you contact me. Here's my money, have a good night."

>>28960960
my penis' name is Chad, I knew you just wanted to jump on my cock

>>28960968
cuck

>>28962979
>Anon in the police carriage

>anon screaming'I THOUGHT THIS WAS A FREE COUNTRY, A COUNTRY THAT RESPECTED GAYS!'

Okay well then can you introduce me to a mare that would consider me her type?

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>>28960960
I don't have a friend named Chad, sooo

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>>28962548
Who knew libtards were not only retarded, but also colorblind?

>>28961520
More like they get off on the feeling of despair and misery because that's all they know.

>>28962838
kek
great
just great

>>28960960
>''Buying?'' I never said I was buying. I just needed company. By the way, that extra large hay with grass trimmings and horseradish sandwich Rainbow stuffed down her fat mouth wasn't cheap.

>>28960960
>You grin
"That's okay, girls. That's why I slip a couple of roofies in your drink just now"
>"WAIT, WHA....."
>*THUD!* *THUD!*
>You grin, as you carry your prize back to your car, before driving off to a perfect secluded spot for a fun-filled evening!