Royal Guard Mare Thread #15: The original thread

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>>28943342
I want to carry my little guardmare on my shoulders.

You know, so she has a better vantage point to look out for danger.

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>"Royal Guard thread" link is thread made to focus on allowing
a* thread
>>28943376
Excellent idea, would it be something like pic related, with combat ready guard hat, with helmet?

>>28942741

was gonna post last thread, then this was made
pastebin update in the works

>You walk in with a friendly smile and a nod.
"That would be nice, thank you."
>Still feeling a bit apprehensive, you take simply to standing by the doorway while Minuette closes the door.
>You gaze around the place.
>It's much more decorated than you thought it would be.
>Family pictures, a painting of a beach sunset and such.
>It almost reminds you of a dentist's office.
>It's friendly, but... formal looking.
>Like it could also be an office, as well as a home.
>There's even magazines on that glass table in the middle of the room.
>"Well don't be a stranger, make yourself comfortable! I just need to, you know, fix myself up a bit."
>You stop yourself from asking why when you look at her mane again.
>Yesterday it looked a bit messy, but it was clearly done up that way.
>Some kind of crazy manestyle that you see in the magazines.
>Now, you can clearly see that she was woken up.
>Not that you mind it, because you're sure that under your helmet it looks like a bomb went off.
>Moving over and sitting on a couch, Minuette gives you a smile before slinking away.
>You don't really find yourself getting comfortable anytime soon.
>Really, you're not even sure why you're here.
>Though you feel you need a hug, you wouldn't want to hop on Minuette like that.
>You're no cuddleslut.
>So, you sit there, rubbing one foreleg with the other, and continue to gaze at the walls.
>Looking at the pictures and such.
>You just wish things could somehow fix themselves.
>That you could leave this place, just to find that Brave and Anon are okay.
>...But then, what would that mean for you?
>While you regret blurting everything out like that, you don't feel it's fair...
>One side just wants to see Brave and Anon happy.
>But the other side doesn't understand why you can't also be happy.
>Why you get to see everyone else enjoying themselves, and never experience any of it for yourself...

>>28943410
Thanks Blu.

>>28943410
Sad bat detected, apply boop to snoot

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>>28943453
Boop to snoot you say? Restarting Bat.exe in effect.

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>>28943410

>>28943410
Reminder that the disgusting bat doesnt deserve love or happyness.

>>28943342
>Spankybat: http://pastebin.com/Q7viBeuf

I finally exist!
Now I'm off to work. Blegh.

>>28943699
I remembered this time

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>>28943624

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>>28943624
Lies, LIES AND PROPAGANDA! Snuggle your nearby guard bat for doing a good job today.

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>>28943829
she needs it

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>>28943851
They both need it. And Anon needs to bring them home.

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>>28943873
nonsense, look how happy the bat is

>>28943342
>original thread
>posts unoriginal op image.

>>28943342
GREATO DAZE KOITSU WA

FUCKING FAGGOTS rot in hell

Do you think Careful gets constipated when she poops from her mostly junk food based diet?

>>28943342
Good shit.

>>28943873
Get your faggot shit outta here.

>>28943923
What would Vannie look like in Armour? Cute, of course, but any of her wearing it?

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Hey whatever happened to that kidanon Cinnamon Guardmare green?

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>>28944144
pretty much the only one

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Friendly reminder that this semen demon still exists

>>28945062
What do we know about Cinnamon?

>>28945062
we never did get that picture of her getting taken advantage of

>>28944121
It aint faggot shit, its an incomplete pic, doublep hasn't put Anon in it yet.

>>28945092
Good, that story was shit.

>>28944121
>>28945106
all this salt

kek, this is more amusing than anything

>>28945124
How? Those two post have nothing to do with each other, nevermind I don't care, your just trying to stir up shit aren't you?

>>28945164
>your just trying to stir up shit aren't you?
you sound more like it than i do

but a friendly thread so far, and you got two anons trying to do so themselves, because voicing how much you hate something is just how you get rid of it. it's just ridiculous.

but nevermind that, anon. just keep an eye out for shitposters.

>>28943410

tired of nitro cells for one night, let's get the green going

>Though, you still don't feel right, doing as you did.
>Really, the only time Brave was ever hostile towards you was the first night you showed up.
>But you know, being IN the guard business, that was just part of the job.
>Aside from that, she's done no wrong by you.
>But, you still...
>A sigh escapes you.
>There's just too many conflicting feelings in you right now.
>None of them good.
>"-I hope you don't mind green tea. It's kinda what I had brewing. I-I mean, I can make some more, if you'd like-"
"-It's fine, thank you."
>She pauses for a moment, then sets up a mug and pours some tea in it for you.
>"I mean, I'm more of a coffee gal myself, but I've heard all these benefits and such of drinking green tea in the mornings. It's supposed to give you that extra jolt of energy and promote good health or whatever."
>A tired sigh leaves her.
>"Which I definitely need, for every morning ever."
>She pours herself a mug and sits across from you.
>For a moment she just idly stares at the ground, looking super exhausted.
>"-Oh hay, I forgot I look like a mess."
>Before you can say anything, she hops off the couch and leaves again.
>You take the mug in your hooves and simply sit there, back straight and towards the edge of the seat.
>Wouldn't want to dirty the cushions or anything.
>You blow on the tea to cool it down.
>And meanwhile, you think again about what you're doing here.
>What even is the plan?
>Eventually, you're going to have to go back to the castle.
>You can't just stay here forever.
>And you really doubt Brave would just quit or something, so you'll definitely be forced to face both of them.
>But... what would you do?
>What would you say?

>>28945245
Why waste cutie Minuette on a disgusting bat?

>>28945245
>...
>You sigh.
>It's all you've been doing for the past few hours, really.
>Sigh, seeing all the couples walking by.
>Then sigh when they do something lovey-dovey.
>...You wish you could do those things.
>Have no care in the world, like all these ponies moving past you.
>While you just sit here, sighing on a park bench.
>The only place you thought you'd get some privacy here.
>But all this has managed to do is make you feel worse.
>It never really clicked in your mind that every couple in Canterlot would be drawn to a park.
>You sigh again.
>You feel like crying, but you know you've done enough of it.
>It's all you're good for, really.
>-You shake your head.
>It's wrong to have such negative thinking.
>You already sunk the boat, you should at least try not to drown.
>Though, it's really difficult.
>Not having one thing can just tear you up inside, but you see now, that the worst feeling is to have that thing, then watch it be taken away.
>Or it certainly feels worse.
>It's like, one half just wants back what you had, and wants to be happy again.
>But the other half...
>It wonders how happy Anon could be without you.
>That maybe you just aren't worth having that happiness.
>Vannie certainly seemed to have it bad earlier.
>A few tears make a break for it.
>So you sit up and start to walk.
>Nopony can see you like this.
>Nopony SHOULD see you like this.
>Only one has seen you cry like this, and you want to keep it that way.
>At least to keep SOME of your dignity.
>Just... some of it...

>>28945331
Woah, I was confused as fuck for a second there. I had no idea you just switched to Brave.

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>>28945287
Remove yourself from this thread.

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>>28945245
>>You blow on the tea to cool it down.
B-but green tea is made with water that has lower temperature than normal one

>>28945339
oh duh, i dont think i ever clarified the markings in my text

>
this blank spot just means some time has passed, like a transition

>...
and this means the story's switching to another character's perspective.

>>28945287
Wow, with grammar like that I think it would be easier to kill yourself.

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>>28945363
...minuette didnt know that because she drinks coffee more

y-yep, that's the story.
i dont drink tea that much man, i dunno

>>28945377
Meh, I didn't know either nor do I care about the temp of green tea. I just want our two best guardmares to have a happy end with Anon, well until assassins come and try to kill him anyways.

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>>28945377
>i dont drink tea
Downboated tbqh familia
You're missing out

>>28945400
i said that MUCH
in fact i just finished some tea that i got from someone in the /mlp/ secret santa

Boop-on, apply directly to the snoot.
Boop-on, apply directly to the snoot.
Boop-on, apply directly to the snoot.

>>28945442
*snootle
It rolls off the tongue better.

>>28943342
>this thread is fine with stallions, and different species, so long as they are royal guards.
He says while keeping the "mare" part in the OP.

>Gay, gay themed, and/or gay centric prompts/stories are not approved here,
Lesbians are though.

>go to Homo Horse Hangout for that.
No thanks. Big Macintosh is not a royal guard. Braeburn is not a guard, and neither are many other stallions from the show. Not to mention that that place is so ultra-gay over Big Mac, Caramel and other characters who are not guards that talking about royal guards being bros and stuff there would be difficult and a little annoying if Royal Guards is the only thing you want.

>the "Royal Guard thread" link is thread made to focus on allowing gay stories
It is focused on allowing ALL stories.

>the pastebin links they have are from this thread and do work, they just stole them.
What links? There aren't even any in the real guard thread. You just pulled that out of your ass to try and start shit.

>>28945417
Yeah, but was it a thai green with mango pellets?
I really like mango flavoured tea, don't judge me

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REMINDER

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>>28945476
my apologies, friendo
let's go back to qt mares

>>28945470
They aren't even trying to hide their shitposting at this point, I can only assume their fake thread archived already, so just report the ones that show up and ignore them otherwise. They have no argument besides we are to lazy to make non cannon males gay guards in HHH, and that we should just accept them. Nothing more, nothing less.

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>>28945487
I miss this drawfriend. Hell, I miss ALL the drawfriends.

They never seem to stick around for long.

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>>28945487
Your right, NOW DROP DOWN AND SNUGGLE THAT CRYING GUARDMARE, IMPROVE MORALE CUDDLESLUT! THATS WHAT WE PAY YOU FOR!
>Anon as a therapy counselor for distraught guards when?

>>28945508
We get some stuff from them occasionally, so long as doublep doesn't go on a another rape fetish binge again, I would hope he comes back soon. I bet he is in Marital Problems or Flutterrape getting it out of his system while the thread cools down. Aside from him though I think the others just had IRL stuff to deal with, it is the holidays though.

>>28945509
>"i-ive never been called such names..."
>"-they smacked my armor! like i was some kind of toy!"
>"everypony just l-laughed at me! they said i could never do a stallion's job!"

he would have a lot on his plate.
especially when they all fall for him

>>28945517
>doesn't go on a another rape fetish binge again
He offered to do a picture, and everyone shat on him for it.

Don't twist any of that shit around.

>>28945529
Meh, he knew the tone of the thread, I don't know where he go the idea from that it was wanted here.

>>28945536
got* t button doesn't work all the time.

>>28945536
I didn't see it as anything worth all the hate, though. It was just a story of some OC. He could have posted an imgur link or something, and life could have gone on.

Instead, everyone went insane about it, and now it looks like we have no more drawfags left.

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>>28945508
I'm still alive, just had some uh.
Interesting holiday circumstances.

>>28945555
He said he was waiting for the fag invasion to die down, give him a few days I am sure he's lurking around here somewhere. It was pretty blatant that the thread didn't want the OC thing either, so that would have tipped him off.

>>28945564
Such as? That pic has my attention.

>>28945490
Why the hell do you keep calling it a fake thread for? You said several times that people should make their own thread if they want guards who can be gay or bi.

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>>28945570
Calm yourself Anon, don't delve into shitposting again so early on.

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>>28945568
Just awkward family shit cause I didn't know 80% of the people that showed up to the thanksgiving dinner

>>28945582
Ah...I don't really talk to my family so I avoid that problem, I am also very anti social so it helps.
>>28945577
Dude, don't give the fag the (you)s.

>>28945582
well, just glad to hear that it's nothing like ISIS bombing your house or some shit

anyways, it's great that you're still here, even if you choose not to draw. just knowing you're still here is good enough for me.

>>28945599
gimme an idea with just one horse and I can try to doodle tonight but I'm only ever good for sketches

>>28945599
When the hell did he imply he doesn't want to draw? I haven't seen it.
>>28945604
See? Anyways, uhh...how about the awkward confrontation of Anon trying to open up to both the best guardmares. We need a before an after image of their rough patch.

>>28945604
wait I didn't read the entire thing>>28945611
then uhhh. OH, Vannie and Anon siting in the arcade machine with Vannie in his lap.

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>>28945615
THIS

>>28945604
>but I'm only ever good for sketches
ya dont give yourself enough credit, bruv

but whatever's easier for you, mate.

>>28945611
If it's from a story I haven't been able to keep up on anything I'm sorry

>>28945625
Its cool, take your time catching up, its worth it

>>28945071
she's a big mare.

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>>28945615
>His
I know it's wrong but I'm sorry I like the idea of putting poners between those thingies that go in the shirts or something
brb killing self

>>28945927
FUCKING SAVED! Excellent work as always. It quite correct but I like it to much to care, your redone version is probably going to be even better and I get this.

>>28945927
Is that femanon? She doesn't exist here though.
>>28945943
Not* quite correct.

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>>28940596
I had just finished a 13 hour shift bridging thanksgiving into Black Friday. The update was tiny because I was falling asleep at my laptop.

>>28942216
Yes he does, and he shall do just that shortly.

>>28945709
That is somewhat helpful. Is she tall or just fat?

>>28945968
Based SpankyBat.

>Batpony general 2.0

>>28940462
>Eclair takes a deep breath and reaffirms her posture.
>She looks you in the eye with as much confidence as she can muster.
>She still seems like shes ready to bolt as soon as you move though. Perhaps she's still holding a grudge over the tasering.
>"Due to the fact you seem to be absolutely crazy and you've had the gall to boop her majesty twice nopony wanted to be caught in public with you.
"Not seen in public with me? Wow that's harsh."
>"No harsher than say... "
>Oh no. You know exactly where this is heading.
>Cringe in 3..2..1..
>"Hurting a pony for simply checking if you were okay?"
>Huston we have liftoff!
"Ugh, yeah... about that, I'm... I'm sorry."
>You don't know how you were expecting her to react, but this was most certainly not it.
>"You're sorry?"
"Yup. I'm sorry. I panicked and reacted badly."
>"And that's just supposed to make it all better? Make the embarrassment just go away? Put the fur back on my rump!?"
>Oh she is angry.
>Wait... what?
"Hold on, what's this about your butt losing fur?
>She facehoofs in response to your question.
>"I can't believe I just said that out loud. And to you of all ponies no less."
"I couldn't have gotten your backside with the needles. How did you lose the fur from your backside?"
>"When you did that thing I fell out of the sky and landed in something nasty."
"Oh, ouch."

>>28946159
>"It gets better. When I was laying there twitching I ended up smearing it all over my flank and it got stuck on good."
"Eaugh. Nothing permanent I hope."
>"No, nothing long term, just really embarrassing. I had to have the pony stylist save it all off and now people are calling me a blank flank."
"What's a blank flank?"
>"When a pony reaches a certain age he or she typically gains a mark on their flank showing what their special talent is."
>Thinking about things back home you chuckle slightly.
"So it's like a tramp-stamp."
>"A what?"
>Not wanting to explain the finer points of a tramp-stamp you quickly dismiss it and motion for her to continue.
>"These marks show that you are a adult in pony society and are ready for the responsibilities of adulthood."
"And now yours is gone?"
>"Exactly. If the gunk had only covered on side I would have been fine. But nooooo, of course it would cover both of them!"
"So now other ponies are treating you like a child."
>"Exactly! The two unicorn stallions I was with were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe."
>All traces of timidity are long gone by this point. Now she looks about ready to introduce your face to the wall several times.
>"And it's all your fault! It's not bad enough that you went and embarrassed me, now I have to fillysit you too."
"I get that you're mad. You have every right to be."
>She stamps her hoof at you.
"You're bucking right I have the right to be angry!"
>You raise your hand to ward off another verbal lashing.
"I still don't understand why YOU were assigned to me particularly."
>She loses her flame and visibly sags again.
>"Princess Celestia believes that the pony who would trust you the least would be the one most suited to keeping a close eye on you."
"Oh I get it now. If it helps the situation any, I don't have the ability to do that anymore."
>Her ears perk up at that.
>"You really don't?"

>>28946164
"Nah. That was done by a tool from home called a stun gun. It's a one use thing unless you can replace the cartridge. Which is, as you can guess, back home."
>Her eyes widen and she shifts from hoof to hoof.
>"You're telling me the truth? You're really sure you can't do that anymore?"
"Eclair look at me."
>You spread your arms out showing you have nothing up your sleeves.
"I have nothing to my name over here. Hell, the only things I own in this land are the clothes I'm wearing and those are shredded as it is."
>"I suppose you're right."
"So what do you say, do we put this behind us and try to start over new?"
>She looks contemplative for a moment before jumping in place and quickly bouncing from hoof to hoof.
>"Ohmycelestiayes! Thisisgonnabesoawesome!"
>For whatever reason she is talking like she just mainlined a bowl of sugar. You don't know what flipped in her head but she seems really really happy now.
"What did I just miss?"
>"Come on already, don't just stand there we have to get going on your tour of the palace."
>She wraps one of her forelegs around your arm and starts pulling you towards the door.
>"Come ooooonn!"
>You have no desire to see a huffy poner again so you allow yourself to be dragged out of your room and quickly down the hallway.
>Making sure to stop long enough to stick your tongue out at the guards stationed at your door of course.
Just a short update for the moment while I still had the scene fresh in my mind. I'm gonna go heat up some pizza and relax for a bit before back to writing.

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>>28946181
I thought they are going on a tour. Why does Anon suddenly want to make pizza?

>>28945100
Uh huh. It's fucking lesbians making out you dense nigger

>>28945245
>Not having IQ the QT
Pleb

>>28946192
Nice try newfag, have a (you)

>>28946212
>Newfag
Uh huh. Explain where the 'dick' is supposed to go then? I doubt anon would just randomly stick his dick in between two LESBIANS making out.

>>28946187
I thought I hit enter on my keyboard a few times. Whoops.
Stupid sleep deprived brain. Bad brain. Bad I say.
I've gotta stop typing after working the graveyards.

>>28946212
Did you just get here from ponychan or something? You keep using words that don't mean what you think they do and throwing autistic fits

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Emergency bump

>28946225
>28946277
>baiting this hard
Try harder faggots

>>28946603
>I got called on using buzzwords that don't even fit, must be bait
And here I thought summer was over 3 months ago

>>28946666
The super devil marks you as his, begone demon!

>>28946603
Don't reply to the shitposter. Report and move on. They are either going to all get banned or go back to where they came from.

>>28946725
You too.>>28946734

>>28946181
>"Eclair look at me."
"I am the captain now"

>>28945927
>>>femanon

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>>28945927
femanon or not, that's damn qt friendo

>>28947337
Dudes have long hair too.

My biggest complaint is that its Crusin USA instead of superior World.

>>28945331
>You end up climbing this little hill with a tree next to it.
>It's big enough so that the sun doesn't bother you, and thankfully seems far enough so that nopony can see or hear you.
>And just as the thought leaves you, a few tears follow.
>You always hated crying.
>It always just made you feel weaker.
>Dad certainly thought so...
>Backing up against the tree, you allow yourself to sob.
>Knowing that nopony can see you just alleviates some of what you're feeling.
>And wearing this armor... you always felt safer.
>Though you're the one who's supposed to make ponies feel safe, you always enjoyed wearing it.
>It makes you feel like everything... hurts you less.
>It's just nice.
>You're sure at least a few fillies look up to you.
>Think you're some kind of big, strong mare that can do anything.
>At least, you'd like to believe that.
>But here you are, watering the grass and crying like a foal on the dirt.
>You really don't even know why you're crying.
>Too many things to keep track of at this point.
>All you know is that you're sad, for many reasons.
>...You wish Anon was here.
>That he could just be here to hug you, tell you everything will be fine, and that he'll never leave you.
>That you're the only mare for him.
>...You wish.
>Lying down on the grass, you fold your forelegs and bury your head in them.
>You feel cold.
>The armor doesn't help this time around.
>In fact, you don't think anything will.
>You just feel... empty.
>As the thought passes, you clear your mind.
>And still, all you can do is cry.
>Because, really...
>It's all you're good for.

>>28948938
I didn't expect both to have thier confidence shot. Vannie maybe as her character suggested, but not Brave.

>>28949076
I think Brave is even weaker than Vannie

>>28949090
Brave is definitely weaker than Vannie. Remember the arrow? And the time she broke into bathroom? She builds this super srs appearance, but the moment something goes awry, she just fucking breaks.
Blu, quit the fuckery. Hug the mares.

>>28949304
nonsense, i must make them even sadder.

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>>28949328
Be careful with the sad!
They might get so sad not even snootle boops and ear scratches can make it go away

>>28949344
but remember, anon, the darker the night, the more glorious the dawn

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>tfw a bunch of actual guard greens (where the guards are actually, you know, guards and not just a pony who happens to be a guard) have just died off over time.
>tfw autists arguing everywhere.
>tfw people unironically got mad because of >rape. more rape pls

I get the feeling that this is just going to turn into yet another safespace AIE general where ponies fall in love with anon.

>>28949503
i thought that was every thread

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>>28949503
Six years and counting. What did you expect?

>>28949328
You monster.>>28949344

>>28945709
>>28945709
>>28945709
>>28945709

>>28943342
Any (relatively) new lewd green?

>>28949394
Make sure they get lots of hugs and love. Vannie even cuddled Anon and we treat her like this....

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>>28945071
>She's the most hospitable member of the Royal Guard
>It's her job to properly greet any new or returning ambassadors to the kingdom and make sure their every need, want and desire, no matter how carnal, is fulfilled
>Don't get it twisted, she isn't any kind of whorse. If an ambassador needs his most basic and animalistic needs met, she has a mare (or occasionally, stallion) of the night or two on standby
>That being said, one of her favorite on-duty memories was when a pair of visiting dignitaries talked her into letting them take her out for a drink or two
>By the end of the night, she had a new word added to her vocabulary: "Spit-roast"
>And if you need to know, Minotaur at her head, Griffon at her tail

>>28950283
yeah, i could see this, especially from a deviantart oc

>>28950283
Shes also a pregnant broodmare slave owned by a petty burglar.

>>28950283
it would be cool if we got an update from >rape anon in the cinnamon green from earlier maybe after two years of being anons broodmare? What the little foals like that was born and how broken and needy cinnamon is now that she's possibly pregnant with a second
how even if anon set her free and kicked her out she wouldn't leave or run away
how she mewls and whinnys in pleasure and milks eachothers orgasms when the make love

>>28950917
l-lewd

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>>28950917
fuck that guy.

>>28950917
Unf

>>28950917
I personally would love to see the fore play now as they cuddle and spoon in bed
>all the cuddling and lewd shit he would do to get her excited and winking

>>28950969
Nah, fuck you, guy.
But who cares what I think?

Let's see what the thread thinks.
http://www.strawpoll.me/11743343

>>28951498
>implying a shitposting faggot wont rig the polls.
ftfy

>>28951498
Hey fuck you, I voted no and it counted yes!
>>28951504
he's right.

>>28951516
Never mind it just didn't update yet.

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Keep up the no's.

>Actually voting no
>In /mlp/ of all places
I need neo /mlp/ and you EQD fags to leave, thank you.

>>28950283
Thanks for the info.
She may make an appearance or two in my green just to keep her alive.

What exactly do we consider a "guardsmare" ?
Does the story in question require that they currently be a guard pony? Because I'm thinking of a event where Scarlet and Eclair leave their royal service. They guard anon, sure. Just not as official guards.

>>28951713
I suppose body guards count too, if by technicality. Hell maybe even a story of Anon running his own guard service, like combat cuddle buddies for rough mares not good with others.

>>28951734
Combat cuddle buddies is an awesome idea.

>fags btfo'd because this is the guard "mare" thread
>guard mare green happens about rape
>people lose their shit
Smells like hypocrisy in here

>>28951772
Smells like some faggots trying to shitpost still. Fuck off.

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>>28951787
>trying to shitpost
kek, you seen the results? only you fags not wanting >rape are the shitposters

>>28951787
Not really, Ive lurked for the last 10 threads at least. Im just calling out the bullshit. For the record, i dont want gay crap either, but im sick of this thread being overrun by content policing shitlords like you even if it fits the theme

>>28951826
Making fake accounts to spam mean jack shit.

>>28951841
>tfw no 4chan gold account

>>28951841
>Making fake accounts
sure buddy
though the thing is, accounts don't mean shit in strawpoll. it's based on your ip address

so try harder
>inb4 b-but ip switching

>>28951834
>im sick of this thread being overrun by content policing shitlords like you
This. People should be allowed to write whatever they want. Just ignore the damn story if you don't like it.

>>28950283
Made an attempt after the >rape'ening and got stuck on how to proccede with it.
As usual, hit me with that critisism daddy.

>Be a young Anon.
>Currently watching as the guardponies drag away a furious Clipper away. Over and over yelling he's been framed, and /you/ did it.
>This confused you. All you had done was asking if he had many kids of his own, considering the box of photos of foals he kept in his room.
>Now this was happening, and a really sensitive mare maid kept hugging you and saying everything was going to be fine.
>She didn't seem to hear you asking questions anymore.
>Oh well.
>Hugs was always nice anyway.
>The meaning of 'foal-fiddler' could wait.

>"And you are certain he never... touches you, or asked you to do something you felet uncomfortable?"
"No Princess."
>Princess Luna sighed and gently patted your head.
>"We are sorry, me and mine sister for this ordeal. Clearly we should have put far more thought into a personal chaperone. I vow on this day, dear Anonymous, this'll never happen again."
>"I am sadly needed elsewhere, but please remain here for your new guardian. And know We will visit whenever we can."

>Some time later, enough to doze off, you feel a hoof on your shoulder.
>"Hi! You must be Anonymous."
"Mhm..."
"I'm Cinnamon, your new personal guard."

>Wow.
>She looked different from any other pony you've ever met before.
"You're pretty."
>...
>Wait wat
>Why did you just say that?
>Cheeks begins to flush and heat up in embarrassment.
>"Why thank you," the mare suddenly giggles, "I appreciate the compliment."
>Her calm reply helped you to ease back again, fearing you'd gone done make the situation super awkward.
>"Anyway, it's just about time for dinner. We should head on over to the kitchens..."
>Cinnamon then leaned in with a near mischievous smile on her lips...
>"I may have coaxed the chefs into making some pancakes~"

>>28951991
>Pancakes?
>aawyeah.jpeg
>"Should be enough for the two of us... or will it?"
>Her eyes wanders over you, then the door.
>You mime her action, trying to figure how to do this.
>As an earth pony, she would be real strong. And fast.
>But you are a cleaver little Anon.
>Pointing behind her, you holler with fright;
"Look out you behind you!"
>Cinnamon yelped and turned to see what impending doom loomed above her.
>Too late did she understand the diversion.
>You were already out the door and booking it. Moments after rounding the hallway corner you could hear Cinnamon's cheery laughter closing in.
>And suddenly you too started laughing. This was kinda fun. She was fun!
>Cinnamon was definitely your new favorite pony.

Dassit for now, more when I have the time.

>>28951991
Pancakes?
Oh God, she's a dirty mare isn't she?
I approve.
Captcha: soup.
You had one fuckin job.

>>28948938
>After a moment, you seem all out of tears.
>So you straighten yourself out and wipe your face clean with a hoof.
>When you're all settled, you just take to staring at the grass, blowing gently in the wind.
>...You shouldn't be here.
>You shouldn't be just lying in the grass like this, crying your eyes out.
>You should be better than this.
>You wait for your mind to inevitably shoot you back down, but nothing comes by.
>Glancing around at your surroundings, another sigh leaves you.
>You're a guard, Brave.
>...Sad or not, you should be doing what you're paid to do.
>Even if it means... seeing Anon again.
>A shiver runs down your back at the name.
>You want nothing more than to go see him.
>...But you don't know if he'd want to see you.
>Especially not Vannie.
>Hay, they're probably together right now.
>Probably...
>-No, stop it!
>Who cares how you feel.
>Ponies say you can't do a stallion's job, and you're going to prove them wrong.
>No matter what it takes.
>If Anon wants to spend the rest of his life with Vannie, then... so be it!
>The least you can do is go and make sure that he feels safe.
>Maybe it could be another thing you can do right.
>Standing up, you brush off your armor a bit, then start at a brisk pace towards the castle.
>Regardless, one thing's for sure.
>Anything is better than just lying there, wallowing in your own sadness.
>...Anything.

>>28952008
Daww. Brave is such a good little guard pony.

>>28952008
very nice, I'm loving this blu

>>28951995
Pancakes and competing who can get first to the kitchen... Are you ten years old or something?

>>28952594
I'm 29 and I do that Shit.

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>>28952613

>>28952594
I'm honestly not sure.
Its been so long since I was a kid I have difficulty to put an age on this Anon.
Somewhere to be innocent but not a tard I guess.
Take is as you will.

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>>28952594
what's wrong with pancakes?

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>>28952008
I walk a lonely road...

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>>28952742
beautiful and absolutely heart braking

>>28952742
The happy end better come soon, I am tired of the cliffhangers we have so far.

>>28950917
>Cinnamon gradually breaks down and becomes attached to her captor through a twisted combination of emotional neediness and stockholm syndrome
>He, in turn, allows her increased freedom around the house to care for her offspring
>Gradually comes to actually care for her as well over the years
>One day while he is out doing whatever an old guard mate of her recognizes her through a window
>She and her children are terrified when a squad of Royal Guards break down the door... only to arrest her.
>Since the reason for her disappearance was never put down to kidnapping she was simply marked as AWOL.
>What else were they to think, when she is found seemingly happily living in a home with a foal in tow?
>A few days later, though, she is suddenly released.
>Her captor was so distraught by what had happened that he turned himself in to clear her name.

>>28953145
Good rape shit should die in a fire. Fuck their happiness, this isn't flutterrape.

>>28952742
RIP happiness

>>28952742
awww. damn dude

>>28952008
Anon the limp dick pussy story #25837493002

>>28952742
christ, this hurts my soul
i love it, thank you drawfriend

>>28952742
CRAAAAWLING IIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIN

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>>28952742

>>28952742
I know this is supposed to be sad, but I can't help but notice how cuddle-able Vannie looks here.
Goddamn it I just want to hug all her tears away.

>>28952742
Just noticed how the roads in all three pics line up with each other. Nice touch.

>>28952742
They are fat.

>>28945062
God, i love that rape story.

>>28953145
I love this one.

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>>28951991
>>28951995
Das cute mane.

>>28952594
Nigga, the green literally starts with >Be a young Anon

>28955297
Kill (You)rself

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>28955340
Please, cry harder for us.

>>28951995
>Dassit
Do I know you?

>>28951613
Between the tripfag, reddit memes, newfags not knowing about >rape and the rampant autism, this thread might be too far gone. They made it their safespace here already.

>>28952594
Its >implied
by >>28951991
That he is very likely 10

>>28955109
Your moms fat

>>28955793
wow and look, exhibit a >>28955816

i blame fucking seth. if that faggot hadn't put us in an article, we wouldn't be stuck with all these new/underage fags.

>>28955989
Literally what?

It was a joke nigga. Not a very clever one I admit, but nothing more than a joke. Dont take it so fucking seriously you sperging autist

>>28956166
>being this assblasted
wew

>>28956182
Atleast my mom didnt drop me on the head when I was a child

>>28956231
kek
please, continue to prove me right

>>28955989
>Muh muh sekrit club

>>28956337
you want a secret club, go to /trash/

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>>28956952
the first bump of the thread

great, it truly is going downhill

>>28957216
bump

>>28957216
That bat needs cuddling.

>>28957665
That bat needs an ear trim.

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>>28957903
Get out fag, we got a rape problem at the moment.

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>>28957943
Kiss my ass.

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>equine royal guard trains recruits with magical holograms,
>all of the holograms are based off of anon
>nobody knows where the real one is
>pone guards get attached to the anon AIs after years of time spent with them
>a secret society is formed with the purpose of hunting down the real Anonymous to demand real life cuddles and tummy rubs

>>28958207
That sounds like a good motivation factor, what would their response be if they just found Anon in the janitors office?

>>28958231
More like what would their response be if they found his tombstone.

>>28958719

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Took the night off to play some Titan quest. Back to work on some writefagging.

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>>28952742

I wonder if ponies like butt scritches?

>>28960608
Man, I owned a turtle and he loved butt scritches. Every living creature loves butt scritches

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>>28960608
I don't see why not. Horses sure love 'em.

>>28960608
Yes
https://youtu.be/kjfRjroJWzs
https://youtu.be/tgv5oHCVOME

bumpin'

>>28952008
>...
>"...Wow. That sounds pretty terrible."
>You simply nod your head, then shove another piece of pie down your throat.
>If recounting all of this didn't make you feel bad, you'd definitely find yourself enjoying this pie a whole lot more.
>It is pretty damn good, honestly.
"And at the end of it all, I kind of just left. Figured a little time away from me would help things."
>"Yeah, that makes sense. I could imagine needing a few after hearing something like that."
>You nod again.
>There's been a lot of that going on this morning.
>Gold stays silent for a moment, obviously lost in thought.
>Finally he turns to you, just as you inhale another piece of pie.
>-You know, when you came over here, you were really under the impression that you'd just be getting a slice of a pie, like Village Inn or something.
>But nope, it's literally the whole damn pie or nothing.
>And it's pretty cheap, considering.
>"-Honestly, I don't know what to tell you, though. All it seems you could really do is... wait, unless you go back to just favoring one over the other- BUUUT, doing that after you just said you liked BOTH of them would... well, it sounds like it'd be pretty terrible."
>A sigh leaves you.
>That was pretty much what you thought your choices were, but you had your hopes.
>That he could just conjure up some really obvious third choice, that immediately makes everything happy for all of you.
>Hell, it's like the only real danger is between you three, instead of the supposed threat looming over your head.
>You dwell on the thought for a moment.
>When you first saw Brave, never did you think you'd end up here with her.
>"...If it helps, I'm here for you whenever you need it, you know."
>You turn away from the table and manage a small smile.
"It does, thank you."
>You fork another apple piece into your mouth, much to your stomach's displeasure.
>The pie's pretty much three fourths of the way there already.
>Gold's only got a slice and a half to his name, out of eight.

>>28962466
>This is like your sad ice cream binge.
>Only, you know, with pie instead.
>And you're super goddamn tired.
>You have an idea, then scan the place for a moment.
"You know where the bathrooms are at?"
>Gold spins around and points at a doorway in the corner.
>"Right over there."
>Taking one last bite, you excuse yourself and head over there.
>Thinking you have enough space to pass through, you end up hitting your forehead on the doorframe.
>"-You alright?"
"Fuckin' peachy."
>Rubbing your head, you stumble in and look around.
>Tiled floors, four stalls and three conjoined sinks, complete with a big, long mirror on the wall.
>It kind of ticks you off that there's not four sinks for four stalls, but whatever.
>Over in a corner is a fire exit, complete with a little picture of a pony running down a stairs from a fire.
>You move over to the mirror and look at yourself.
>More specifically, you look at your head, but it's not hard to see that you also look like shit.
>Not sleeping for more than twenty four hours will do that to you.
>If this was your old life back home, twenty four hours would be jack shit.
>But now look at you, softened up by pony bedtimes.
>In fact, you think you may have softened up as a whole.
>Before, you wouldn't give a shit if you heard about a hundred thousand people dying in some place you didn't know.
>You'd just shrug it off, never donate a cent, and continue on.
>Now, you see a pony get hurt, you have to stop absolutely fucking everything and help them out or cheer them up.
>...You wonder how the girls are holding up.
>Ever since you hopped out of there, you regretted not looking up for at least a second.
>They could have been super happy about what you said, and you kind of just left.
>-Though, if they were, you would've seen them on the way to the castle, or back, even.
>Maybe they just went to enjoy the day off you gave them?
>...Who knows.
>You certainly don't.
>Stupid you.

>>28962581
>Focusing back on the mirror and your frowning face, you see a bit of blood now coming from your forehead.
>It's just a bit, but damn, you didn't think you hit it THAT hard.
>Though, you guess if you were wanting a wake up call, you definitely got one.
>You splash a bit of water in your face and clean your cut.
>After, you move over and grab some paper towel for your face.
>As you do so, you can hear the door nearby creaking open.
>Probably Gold coming in to check on you.
>You really need to find a way to repay him for all of this.
>Sure, he said this was repayment for you listening to his problems and such, but you never bought him pie.
>Though, you did offer a lot of things.
>...Man, he was so serious as your door guard.
>It took too long just to get him to talk without calling you 'sir'.
>Even longer than Brave-...
>Well, you just made yourself sad again.
>You hear hoofsteps against tile, just as something clicks in your mind.
>The front door's right there.
>If someone came in, you definitely would have seen them.
>That mean a pony came in through the fire exit?
>You turn around and immediately freeze.
>Your eyes go wide.
>Right in front of you, and all staring, are three Griffons.
>-Yes, Griffons.
>Full on fucking catbirds, one of which has a knife at the ready.
>"So... your name's Anonymous, right?"
"-N-no."
>You look around for some kind of escape.
>The only thing closest to you is the door now on your left.
>Just a hop, skip and a jump away.
>It's completely quiet for a moment.
>Nobody moves.
>Nobody even dares to breathe.
>Then, you finally move and jump for the door.
>Your leg is caught, and your chin connects with the floor.
>They quickly start to drag you off while you recover.
"-GOLD! G-MMPF!"
>You fruitlessly try to kick around, but one of them quickly makes work of tying you up.
>All you can do is watch as the door grows further and further away from you.
>They tie something around your neck, and you quickly find yourself falling asleep.

>>28962716
Fucking griffon scum will soon pay for their maleficence.
Dont go easy on them Blu

>>28962716
Excellent... Now have the worthless and disgusting bat find his dead and bloody body. The tears will fuel me.

>>28962716
>Celestia knows the Griffin kingdom is after Anon
>Probably put a order out to be wary of all Griffins and to report strange activity.
>Griffins in the capital would be extra scrutinized
>They just walk into a bathroom from the emergency exit and drag him off
>Why is there a emergency exit in the bathroom?

wew

>>28960608
Do you like butt scritches? If so then yes.

>>28963075
have i ever said before that i don't understand what people see in my shitty stories? well, there you go
but all will be explained later

at least to some degree.

>>28963332
Its a good story even if there are some irregularities

How to get a cuddle slut poner
>withhold hugs from pony
>make her more and more desperate
>a slight touch here, a stroke there
>finally after weeks of waiting give her a full blown hug
>slowly transform her into a full blown cuddle slut reliant on you

>>28964088
>withhold hugs from pony
I fail at this step

>>28962581
>>Before, you wouldn't give a shit if you heard about a hundred thousand people dying in some place you didn't know.
Wew, hold up senpai, getting too real.

>>28962716
Why doesn't he carry a weapon?

Is it to move the plot forward?

>>28964164
Yeah we all do, only the most cold hearted could do it.

>>28962716
INB4 Brave and Vannie go to rescue him, and one of them sacrifices herself so that Anon can have a happy life with the other. And it's Vannie who dies

>>28941606
>"Hello-oh! Careful Watch! Anon! Come in!"
>Moondancer pops from one side of the counter to the other with a glint of indigo magic.
>She trots toward you.
>"What brings you here today? Books? Ambiance? Pastries and tea?"
"Just your company, Miss Moonie."
>"and what's this about pastries?" adds Careful, excitedly.

>Moondancer's amicable chuckle and slight glow at the your dumb flattery makes you feel at home.
>She's on a very short list of ponies you're comfortable talking normally with.

>"Well, I saw the library has a cafe. So I thought: why not here?"
"A cafe, huh?"
>"More like... home-made cookies from my kitchen? I've been reading about baking and thought I'd give it a go. They're free, if you wanna buy a book or just read in the corner."
"Sounds-"
>"What kinda cookies?" interjects Careful.
>"Oatmeal raisin. I've also experimented adding milk and white chocolate to a few, and macademia-"
>Careful leaps forth, coming nose-to-nose with the bookish pony.
>"Cookie please."

>Moondancer smiles.
>"Right in back. Anon, you want anything?"
"One for me, too, and some peppermint tea?"
>"Sure. Technically, though, peppermint's not 'tea,' since it's not made from the leafs of the camellia sinensis-"
"Ya have it?"
>She winks at you.
>"Yep!"
>Stupid, adorable book horse and her book horse jokes.

>Fine.
>You flash her a smile for that one.
>She looks pleased.
"... and I'm just finishing the last Heyton book I got here. You have the next?"
>"I have all of them! You know where I keep the fantasy. You go get it while..."
>Careful's still barely an inch from her.
>Her eyes are glittering with anticipation.
>"... Careful and I... get the cookies?"
"Sure!"

>Moondancer makes for the back of the store.
>Careful follows, nearly hopping with joy.
>You make for the fantasy section as you hear Moondancer start:
>"I love that you're in armor today! I rarely get to see it - is that plating the traditional make? I was just leafing through an old encyclopedia entry about..."

>>28964502
Careful and best nerd pone? My heart cant take it. Now I need a pic of the three of them in the comfy reading corner eating snacks.

boop

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>>28964502
I wanna see carefuls appetite If anon ever knocks her up.

>>28965480
She would be so pudgy and cuddly!

>>28964502
You need to make her mannerisms less adorable. My heart cant take much more

>>28964502
muh heart can't take this interaction between Careful and Moondancer

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>>28965480
oh my.
that's a thicc pone.

>>28966721
that's a nice Careful you've got there

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Anon needs to show dominance.
He's gotta be alpha.

>>28967758
Amazing.

>>28967758
Needs less fanmade memes and more stallions.

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>>28963332
Just retcon it as Celestia trolling Anon. Have her show up in the final scene where Brave and Vannie were captured after their failed rescue attempt and were about to watch Anon being sacrificed on the altar and say "It's just a prank bro"

Still better character development than she gets in the show

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>>28967815
you need to kys

>>28967830
Sounds legit.

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>>28965480
Needs a sean like this but with anon's ear up against her belly

>>28968983
Dem hips, though!

...I wonder if Careful is actually aware of just how built she is. I'm not sure which would be better, slinky temptress Careful or adorably innocent.

>>28969073
Why not both?

>>28969086
A bit exclusive, I'd think? It's hard to be both unaware of what her body does to stallions and deliberately putting it to good use.

>>28969150
Well, she knows that she turns Anon on, but not exactly what she does to turn him on.

>>28969150
>>28969162
Or, she could know just how to push Anon's buttons, and gleefully abuse that knowledge, but be unaware of her effect on the rest of the male population

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>Be grown Pipsqueak, some years in the future
>Unlike what your doctor said, you never grew much, and your name was true to its owner
>You were a stallion, and chronically short
>When would you ever learn
>Stallionlets
>What a fucking meme
>After elementary, you holed yourself up and became a hermit
>A small hermit
>You were a bit shorter than your average mare, drastically reducing your chance of ever reproducing
>Your schoolfriend Rumble grew up to be the fucking Chaddest Chad that ever Chadded
>Today, like every Friday, you went out in the morning to treat yourself to food
>Not Sugarcube Corner, that was a pleb shithole loaded with tourists
>You walked into Bonbon's Lesbo Bakery
>Bonbon was an ancient dyke now, so was Lyra, but the cashier mare was cute
>Too bad she'd never give you the time of day
>You ordered some fairy bread and sat down
>Fucking Auspones sure did know how to slightly improve toast
>You looked out the window and there he was
>Goddamn Rumble
>OH SHIT! He spotted you!
>Look away
>He comes in and sits next to you
>"Pip? Dude what's up?" he crushes your small frame in a Chad hug
>Fucking normies
>You contain your REE
"N-not much my dude. You?"
>Rumble gives you a serious glance
>"Bruh, it's Friday and you're out eating. Friday is party day, where's your bros and hoes?"
"What?"
>"Your friends, dude. Where are they? Marefriend?"

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>>28969762
"I'm single." you state plainly
>Rumble looks at you in shock
>In a city that was at least 80% mares, somehow a stallion was single
>"Dude, we gotta get you hooked up." Rumble locked his foreleg with yours and began dragging you out to the street
>You'd resist if you didn't think he'd make you anyways
>You go with Rumble out to the street and he looks around
>"Okay, go talk to her, she looks pretty lonely." Rumble points to a passerby mare wearing glasses
>Hey, it was Twist
"No."
>"Shit. Uh, that one." he points to another mare walking by
"I don't know how."
>"What?"
"I don't know how to talk to mares."
>Rumble sighs
>"Fuckin' fuck, dude. Just go up and say hi, it's what I always do."
"That shit doesn't work, Rumble. They like you because you're cool."
>He frowns at you
>"Alright bro, if you're gonna be a negative nancy about this, I gotta be the same way. Psychology and synergy, dude."
>Rumble begins pushing you across the street
>"First, we gotta identify the problems, why are you alone, dude?" he asks
"I don-"
>"You're short and weird and shy as fuck, Pip. Short, weird, and shy doesn't equal getting pussy."
"Okay, so do I die alone?"
>"No, we gotta focus on the solutions." he rubs his hooves together
>"Short term solution, stop being shy. Okay? Stop it or you'll never get laid. Stop it."
"That's not gonna work."
>"Long term solution, stop being weird, get out and play a sport or some shit. Get fit."
>You begin to walk away
>"Pip, bro, wait. I can help you."
>You sigh
"What?"
>"We gotta find a mare who's cool with shorter stallions, so she's probably gonna be tall, and she's gotta be weird like you or willing to accept a wei- Oh shit dude."
"Well after that tirade I'd say we're-" Rumble spins you around and points
>"There she is, dude. Target numero uno, go talk to her."
>Rumble gives you a powerful shove and you slam face-first into a metallic surface before falling flat on your ass
"Rumble what the hell?!" you shout at him but he'd aleady disappeared

>>28969844
>You turned around, looking for Rumble
>"Are you okay, citizen?" a deep, but recognizably feminine voice asked from behind you
>You wheeled around, face-to-chest with a royal guardsmare
>It was a pretty typical career path if a pony was abnormally strong or larger
>You froze up
>The guardsmare looked down at you confused
>"Are you alright, citizen?"
>You couldn't even talk to the friendly mare at the bakery without stuttering
>Rumble appears next to you
>He clears his throat and begins working the magic so foreign to you
>The magic of how to talk to mares
>"Allow me to introduce my quiet friend here, miss...?"
>"Golden Helm." she smiled, slightly amused by the situation
>Rumble stood next to you, a foreleg wrapped around your neck
>"My friend here is Pipsqueak, he's a bit shy so please forgive him."
>The guardsmare snickered quietly
>"I hope you don't mind, he wanted to talk to you but just didn't have the courage to do it."
"Now wait a min-"
>"He wanted to know if a mare like you was single."
>Golden smiled
>"Oh, sorry little guy, I'm into mares." she patted your head
>How fucking humiliating
>Golden Helm excused herself and squeezed past you two
>Your original plans for today didn't include getting shot down by some random mare
>There must be a good edgy skater music song about getting rejected by a girl you haven't even talked to
>Golden Helm stopped a few feet away and gasped, as if she'd seen the light of God
>"You! Shortstuff, you're okay with dating a taller mare right?" she asked, suddenly very enthused
"I guess?"
>Rumble chimed in, "Yes or no, brah."
"Sure." you shrug
>At this point your plans were ruined for the day, maybe even the week
>"I know this other guard, you'll love her."
>You find yourself enshrouded in a veil of marigold magic as the guardsmare lifts you off of the ground
>There had to be laws against this shit
>You were along for the ride as she made her way wherever she was going
>Rumble smiled "Good luck, bro!" as he disappeared

>>28962716

spent too much time sieging

>...
>You watch as Minuette gets comfy in the seat across from you.
>"You don't have to be so... stiff, you know. Do whatever makes you feel right at home."
>You give a small smile, but do nothing.
>How you are right now, is probably just as comfy as you're going to get.
>"...Ooor not. Whatever floats your boat, I guess."
"Sorry. I'm just... not used to hospitality, really."
>She takes a sip of her tea and nods.
>"Oh, I can definitely understand that. Ponies here are just too rude sometimes."
>Levitating her tea over, she walks to you and sits beside you.
>Not too close, but not too far.
>"But you don't have to worry about that from me. I may have been born here, but I'm a Ponyville girl at heart. You ever been there?"
>You slowly nod.
>"Yeah, I loved it there. If it weren't for all the crazy stuff that happens over there, I'd still have my roots down there. Did you know that place got attacked by a BUG BEAR not too long ago?"
>You shake your head.
>"I don't even know what a bug bear IS really, but it sure sounds like it's scary."
>You nod.
>"Hey... you okay? I mean, I know I ramble a lot, but you're being awfully quiet for somepony already wide awake."
>Your sigh is the only thing to break the silence.
>You wish you could say you're okay.
>That you're just waiting for Anon to come by and get you.
>That the only reason you're sad is because you haven't been hugged in a few minutes.
>You feel a hoof touch a side of your armor.
>"I can understand if you don't want to tell me what's bothering you, but just know that I'm no mean pony. I can listen."
>Her offer seems too good to be true.
>Not many ponies have ever offered such a thing, though seemingly small.
>Yet, you still hesitate, even though this is exactly what you had hoped for when coming here.
>Despite what you believe, you ruined Anon and Brave's relationship, just by talking.
>Somehow, you feel that a few words could break apart what little you have here with Minuette.

>>28969856
I think I remember this. Was it continued?

>>28969866
>the only reason you're sad is because you haven't been hugged in a few minutes.
I WANT TO HUG THE PONY

>>28969762
Pipsqueak is shit.

>>28970495
The bat doesnt deserve hugs. It can cuddleslut itself to the desperite if it wants affection.

>>28970664
That's what Anon and Brave are supposed to do, suck it bat hater.

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>>28970653
You must be mad that it's not another Anon fucks an armored mare story

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>>28971226
Doesn't change the fact Pipsqueak is still shit

>>28970940
If you could stop providing (You)'s to the pantload, it'd be great for all of us.

>>28971402
But he is a staple of the thread, it means everything is back to a comfy normal.

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>>28971233
Not a argument

>>28971548
I don't need an argument to call something shit. Like the anit batfag. Only difference is mine idea of shit is better than his.

>>28972529
I want to rub her fluffy ears to...

>>28946181
>During your tour of the grounds Eclair took you around the barracks, the armory, the kitchen, the library, back to the kitchen, the royal gardens, the training grounds, back to the kitchen again.
>She REALLY wanted you to know the cooks by face and name for some reason.
>The last stop on the tour de'casa was a trip to old Ironhoof's office.
>Boy that was not something you wanted to do.
>And he was oh so happy to see you up and about again.
>He was even happier when he found out that Princess Celestia had put you under his command.
>He yelled for a half hour and called you a ape only once so you guess he really was happy.
>Since you were never assigned a bunk in the barracks Eclair believes you're staying in the room you were locked up in.
>Once you get to the room you find a note stuck to the door asking you to come to the throne room immediately.
>You an Eclair look at each other in confusion and head off to the throne room.
>When you reach the doors to the throne room the two of you are met by a large squad of heavily armed guards.
>The one in charge of the squad approaches you and tells you that you are forbidden from entering the throne room and will wait here until her majesty decides to come out.
>Eclair turns to you with a worried look on her face.
>"Hey Anon, what do you think this is all about? This is really weird and it's making me kinda nervous."
"Well, since you told me I was being let out of my cage in exchange for being a guard dog I don't think we did anything wrong."
>"I suppose not... but this is still really, really weird. Everypony is acting nervous and they're all staring at us."
"You're absolutely right Eclair."
>You take a deep breath and you detect a faint coppery taste on the air.
>Copper, iron, and... dung.

>>28972949
>A smile grows on your face and you look down at your tiny pegasus chaperone.
>"Anon?"
"You are absolutely correct my dear girl, they are nervous. They're afraid of the big scary human."
>laughing like you just were told an inside joke, you wave your arm towards the crowd and several of them flinch.
"Look at them all, every pony and otherwise is afraid.
>"Okay, I'll admit, you do come off as pretty intimidating when somepony doesn't know you."
>You gently pat Eclair's flank.
"You sound awfully confident for somebody who still smells nervous themselves."
>"Hey now! Who said you could touch my butt? And I am NOT nervous."
>Just to bother her you trace your finger back and forth along her wing causing her to shiver and her face to redden slightly.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of Eclair, we didn't exactly start off on the right foot err.. Hoof. As a matter of fact I-"
>"Enough of your idle chatter"
>Growling in irritation you look back towards the throng of guardsmen and see the princess has finally decided to join you.
"How good of you to join the picnic your highness. If I knew you were coming I would have brought some cake form the kitchens."
>Celestia snorts at your verbal jab.
>"I am more than capable of fetching my own cake Anonymous."
"Judging by the size of your royal flanks I can clearly see that. And I'm pretty sure everybody else can too."
>All of the ponies present, including Eclair, gasp and look at you in shock.
>Celestia widens her eyes and stamps her hoof in anger.
>"THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH OF YOUR MOUTH ANONYMOUS."
>The guards spread out and form a circle around you and Eclair.
>Eclair looks around and then back at you. The poor pegapony looks terrified.

>>28972954
>"Anon what the hay do you think you're doing? Are you trying to get yourself thrown back into the dungeons for good?"
>~HAHAHA! Well done my dear boy. Well done indeed.~
`Hello again Discord. Back from your vacation already?`
>~I'm always here Anon, I'm part of you now remember?~
>You raise your eyebrow and look around.
`You're part of me now? This is news to me.`
>You feel like Discord just facepalmed in your head.
>~The mask Anon, the mask. Come on now, don't go making me think you're brain dead too.~
>You look at nobody in particular and sneer.
`You've made your point Discord, now what do you want?`
>~Just remember that I'm always watching you. You just can't really hear me when things are so dreadfully dull.~
`So you need excitement in order to talk to me huh? I'll have to remember that.`
>"ARE YOU QUITE DONE MAKING FACES AT THE GUARDS ANONYMOUS?"
>You snap back to the scene around you.
"Huh? Oh. Sure, whatever."
>"I would have you rot in the dungeons for your conduct but my dearest sister has spoken on your behalf and requested that I be lenient instead."
"Do tell."
>"You are a monster Anonymous. A monster that while useful, should be kept out of sight."
>Oh this bitch.
>"You seem to be able to sniff out the changelings like a dog so that is what you'll be treated like."
>She just will not stop.
>"Like a dog you are not allowed to stay in the castle. A residence will be provided to accommodate you and the ponies who will be keeping you under constant watch."
>Having said her two bits she retreats back into the throne room and the guards move to block you from the door.
>A small white pony with a green & teal striped mane walks up to you and nervously introduces herself.
>There's that smell again.

>>28972959
"Alright then Ms. Minty, what now?"
>"Oh I'm not important enough to have a title so p-please just call me Minty. I-If that's okay with you I mean."
>You are beginning to see a pattern forming.
"You aren't exactly the most requested guard in the castle are you Minty?"
>"No I'm not sadly. I'm much too shy to stand out like all of the popular guards."
"That must be pretty convenient huh?"
>"I-I don't understand what you mean. I'm awful at being a guard."
"Nevermind that Minty. I'll ask again, what now?"
>"Oh that's right, I'm sorry. Please follow me and I'll show you where your house is located."
>You and Eclair follow Minty out of the castle grounds and into what you can only describe as the slummier part of the city.
>As the three of you walk under a big stone bridge you pull Eclair behind you and call Minty to come back over here for a sec.
>"what's wrong Anonymous? We're almost there, why are we stopping? Under this dark and damp bridge no less?"
>You hold up a hand halting her questions.
"So tell me Minty, have you been a guard for long?"
>"Not really that long, I'm still fairly new here myself."
"I see... Have you been a pony for long?"
>This question causes Eclair to take a step back and assume what you guess is a combat stance.

>>28972965
>Minty is now backing against a wall while looking in every direction for an escape route.
>"I-I-I-I Don't understand the question Anonymous. Heh. You big kidder you."
>You sniff the air and receive the familiar scents of copper, iron, and dung.
"Yup, you caught me. I"m just messing with you."
>You pat Eclair on the head trying to calm her down a bit before continuing.
>Minty sighs in relief and sags against the wall.
>You walk forward and put your hand on her muzzle forcing her to look you in the eye.
>"Mmph!?"
"So then tell me Ms. little pony.."
>"Anon? What's going on Anon, I'm confused."
>"Mph mmmh mph!"
>You place your free hand on her throat and apply the ever so slightest pressure. Just enough that she can tell what is about to happen.
"If you are a pony like you claim..."
>Her eyes widen in fear and she begins to desperately get away.
"Why do you smell so much like bug shit?"

page 10 bump

>>28972972
Remove bug

>>28972972
nigga you better continue this

God dammit. I make one cute little funpost and I get a three day ban, meanwhile the rest of you niggers are on here actually flinging shit at each other. This thread is dead to me, you hear? Dead!

>>28974455
Good for you, mister dubs.

Christ this thread has really gone downhill.

>>28974921
Rape fags immediately after regular fags get kicked out? Sounds about right, I am going to bet marital problems will come after them.

>28975459
Even after all of this, you're still looking for (You)s? Fucking hell, Anon, you can't kill what's already dead.

>>28974039
No worries, I have every intention of continuing the story after I get home from work later.
It's taking longer than I expected, but the set up for fun and fuzziness is almost done.

Who here wants to see Flavor flave eat a Violence hammer?

>>28974455
The fuck you talking about Carlos?

>>28976141
Uhhh...what?

>>28976158
A violence hammer is taken from the Xbox360 game called : The Dishwasher.
It's basically a lead pipe connected to a cinder block. Said cinder block is wrapped in barbed wire.

I'm thinking of a character named 50 bit. They're a short zebra who wears a giant gold horseshoe on a chain.

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>>28976200
what about lucille

>>28976200
I know what the violence hammer is, I was wondering if you were using a metaphor for something else. And I was also asking what the hell Flavor Flave has to do with this. But hitting Ziggers sounds like a fun pastime, I just want to know what happens to the bug.
And you messed up the description, its: a steel girder imbedded into a block of concrete wrapped in barbed wire and hate.

>>28976215
Bitch, take that weaksauce out of here.

>>28976234
I haven't played the game in a few years so I probably remembered wrong. Guardsmares need guard stuff to do so a zebra drug den with filly slaves from neighpony sounds like guard work to me.
The bug will be handled in roughly another seven hours.

>>28976215
Was that the name of the sister in the second one?

>>28976286
Sounds good.

>>28964502
>You search the fantasy section, looking at first for "H" for "Heyton."
>Then you remember Moondancer's method of organization.
>It's modern lit, so it's probably near the end of the order.
>... there it is. "A Tale of Ash and Frostbite."
>Copies of book one... two... three...
>...
>Where's four?
>Didn't Moondancer say she had all of them?
>Eh, better ask her.
>She'll know what's up.

>You stroll over to the back, glancing over the shelves and the covers and bindings of countless tomes as you go.
>The dustiest and oldest are in the back-most section: the esoterica.
>Most books in Over the Moon are available written in the modern Equestrian alphabet, which, incidentally, is identical to English.
>Not so with the esoterica.
>They're all in classical script, in bold, connected letters like the bastard children of Greek and Cyrillic.
>Any pony can read it and the modern, but you haven't bothered to learn it except those bits that sometimes appear in flyers and ads for stylistic flair.
>The shelves get strange here, too.
>As do the books.
>Some are angled in or out, leaving the books looking like they should fall off or shear from the awkward alignment, but they stay firmly in place.
>Others are upside-down, hanging from the ceiling.
>Their books sit on the shelves all the same, obeying some locally-inverted law of gravitation.
>Or maybe they're just glued.
>You don't know.
>You're not touching them to find out.
>Then there are the... connections.
>Arced shelves spanning the isle, appearing to have grown organically.
>They're never in the same place each time you come in.
>You have to duck under them to get anywhere.
>As you do so now, a few books float off the shelves and switch places.
>You stare.

>>28976465
>"They do that," says Moondancer.
"Oh. Right. Of course they do."
>"I understand your surprise! At libraries, a few staff always know the right wards to keep them calm and ordinary. So do I, but I like to let them... 'breathe.'"
"'Breathe.'"
>"Yeah! Like... well, if you had a pet rat, you wouldn't just keep him in a shoebox, right? You'd give him as much room as you can reasonably accommodate."
"Because they're intelligent, sure. You're saying the books are intelligent, then."
>"Insofar as they contain the wisdom of the words and abstract ideas written within them, yes."
"You don't think that's personifying them a bit much?"
>"I understand your skepticism on the matter. I suppose there's not concrete, empirical evidence for their intelligence. I feel the same, but, still, I could swear sometimes I see it in them. Anyway, if they show behavior at least resembling intelligence, don't they deserve the benefit of the doubt before we quell them?"

>One book -- a thin, old, yellowed one -- orbits around the arc over Moondancer, and comes to a stop beside her head as she speaks.
>"-oh! Hello, 'Principia!'"
>She boops it with her nose.
>It bobs in the air in response, looking almost... satisfied.
>Or it could just be moving in response to her boop.
>Then it resumes its orbit.
>You feel like pressing the discussion a bit more until you look at Moondancer.
>She smiles, and her eyes glitter with love and recognition as they follow the book completing its next orbit, then another...
>"It does this whenever I come by," she explains. "Ever since I saved it from a dusty old cellar and spent a few weeks taking notes on it."
"That's... really interesting."
>She nods, still following the book.
>Hadn't you wanted to ask her something?
>...
>Eh, fuck.
>You've forgotten.
"So, Careful's in back?"
>"Yeah! Let's go."

>>28976467
Sooo...did Moonie make a beauty and the beast library?

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>>28976540
>beauty and the beast
>Careful and Anon
Is that what writefriend's going for?
Moonie sees them as a fairy tale she can watch live and participate in?
And if so, am I an idiot for just now picking up on that?

>>28976467
Moondancer needs to be >raped

>>28976467
Moondancer left Careful all alone with Cookies??? This is very dangerous...

>>28976467
kek
the magical library and flying books was a nice touch

Alright! I'm home from work and I just hit four shots of good old inspiration juice. Lets see how I do with vodka coursing through my veins and a buzz going strong.