Applejack Thread

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>tfw the doctors say that I have a genius level IQ and as a result I can't like Apple Jack.

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>>28941298
>Apple Jack

>>28941335
maybe I'm not such a smarty pants after all.

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>>28941345
Of course you're not, you don't like Applejack

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>>28941245

>>28941245
>Be Anon.
>As the only human in Equestria, you somehow got a cutie-mark, a laptop and a bong superimposed over a question mark which somehow looks like the face of a Gray alien. Apparently shitposting has long-term side-effects you weren't aware of.
>Making you the only non-pony known to have one, and an object of intense scholarly scrutiny. To wit, you live in a crystal castle with Sperghorse. Mostly you get along well. She's likable enough, she thinks you're generally hilarious and easygoing.
>Except when Purple Mengele's experiments to understand humans take a turn for the absurd, the potentially unintentionally lethal, or both, and yes, you DO need both kidneys, thanks.
>Your first flashing magical-mystery ass-tat adventure, and you're paired with Appul Pone, doing something that's friendship-and-harmony related. Apparently this has something to do with a disabled colt in a remote village.
>A VERY remote village. Parts of Equestria make backwoods Ecuador look like metropolitan Chicago.
>Seriously, high-speed internet, electricity, AND they use trains and don't bother with paved roads. How the fuck does that even work?
>To say that things haven't gone smoothly is an understatement. And you haven't even arrived yet.
>First, there's no rail service there and no transportation, so you're both walking
>You were almost murdered by Diamond Dogs
>You escaped a tribe of cannibal...goblin-things by going over the river and through the woods, and managed to lose all the supplies you bought in the town at the end of that rail-line.
>You wound up both nearly drowning in a trackless, leaf-covered bog, after following what SEEMED to be an actual road that led nowhere anyone would want to go.
>You found the world's most aggressive, yet intelligent, hornet's nest

>>28941764
>Then you wandered lost in the rain for roughly two days, trying to reacquire the trail, none of the vegetation you see around is human--or pony--edible, even the grasses, which Apple tried and pronounced bitter and toxic, and you haven't seen an animal.
>You're not Bear Grylls, either, so it's not like you can cobble a trap together out of vines and sticks to catch protein. But at least you've been able to catch rainwater, so you're not dehydrating.
>You have a very vague idea where you're going, and that's basically it, and you're still several days hike away from your destination. Or ANY civilization.
>You're huddled together for warmth under a makeshift lean-to made out of something like the leaves of a giant catalpa towards nightfall on the second day, since neither of you can find enough dry tinder to build a fire. At least it's not actually that cold here this time of year, but neither of you is comfortable.
>Neither of you is saying much. You're too fucking tired, and it's getting dark
>"Could really use a box a' something's Pinkie's baked right about now," Applejack says, finally.
>"You could use a bath," you say. And she does, the air smells like muddy, wet horse.
>She punches your shoulder softly with a hoof but there's no real heat in it. "Like y' should talk, idjit. Ya smell like a monkey house at the zoo," she snorts.
>"According to Twi, I basically AM," you retort. You'd proven your worth as a brachiator when you'd climbed a huge tree looking to spot a trail, fire, smoke, or ANYTHING other than wildnerness this morning. Unsuccessfully, as it turned out.

>"But damn, I could use something too. I'm seeing burgers running by on crutches," you say. "Or bananas. And I don't even like bananas. This shit isn't even remotely funny anymore. It stopped being fun on the first day."
>Her stomach growls, loudly, and it's answered in counterpoint by your own. Applejack sighs loudly.
>The one thing she's managed to keep with her is her hat. She takes it off of her head and regards it sadly in the near dark. "Ah guess it's come down t' this, then" she says, her voice leaden.
>And without warning, she bites down on a corner of it with a loud crunch. "jackie?" you say, startled. "That's your hat!"
>"Yeah, sugarcube, Ah know," she says, laboriously munching on it with an expression of distaste. "Holy Luna, it's buckin'...ewww," she says.
>"But...isn't that dangerous? Aren't those things treated to prevent rot with mercury or something?"
>She stops eating her chapeau long enough to look at you. "Naw, Ah get these things from a lady what makes 'em em outta jute straw. But it don't taste really good, and besides...it's mah hat. That makes it precious t' me. But desperate times, Ah guess..."

>>28941787
>She carefully rips the hat in half as you watch, and gives you the larger half. "Ah know that you ain't really built for it, sugarcube," she says softly. "But...we ain't got anything else. If you wanna give it a try..."
>She goes back to eating it disconsolately.
>You put your arm around her and hug her to your side. She tenses up a little at first, and then relaxes into it. You take your half of the hat and bite down on it.
>Predictably, your jaws and teeth can't actually do much with it. It tastes like a dirty sort of cheap, generic all-bran cereal. But it at least gives you something else to do and think about other than how miserable, and miserably-fucked, you feel. You wind up giving most of it back to her, but at least your stomach sort of shuts up after a while.
>At last you fall asleep in the dark in each others' embrace, your mutual warmth closing out the slight chill, and wait for dawn.

>>28941756
This is literally the hottest picture of Applejack out there. Masterpiece. My dick just can't get enough.

>>28941799

Leather boots pone a cute.

>>28941799
Thanks.

>>28941808
It's the red sizzle on her ass that just pops the stiffy for me.

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Stupid sexy Applejack...

>>28942051
That's unedited? Lawd she is fucking hot

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>>28942059

Sexy, meet cute.

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>>28942059

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>>28941536
>>28941756
>>28942051
>>28942105
>>28942223
muh apple

>>28941799
Never thought rubber boots would just... unf it up to the max, sizzling ass notwithstanding.

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>>28942330

Rubber's pretty awesome, ain't it?

Bamp

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Loli-ah

>>28942330
They really are the best.

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>>28943706
Yes.

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Good thread. I like Applejack.

>>28944461

It's impossible to see these pics and NOT come to the conclusion Applejack has a boot fetish.

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>>28944776

Me too, Anon.

Me too.

bamp

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>That moment in the morning when the sunlight hits your waifu just right.