Nightly Twilight Thread

>>28882956
>97 replies
What's the point of trying anymore?

>>28883148
i bumped the thread solely like at least 10 times last time, I'm not bumping this time.

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>>28883148
We are not here by choice.

>>28883148
Someone's been making a lot of really shitty threads on multiple boards lately. Not sure why.

Wait, you guys are making a new thread already? I knew that twi general wasn't doing so hot, but dang

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>>28884057
It's largely because there is no discussion in this thread. Any discussion on a picture are one word replies. Greens are few and far between, and not long enough to generate any discussion on them. If you look at the other thread that people compare this one too, the Nightly Scilight thread doesn't produce more content than this one, but has more discussion on theirs. Such as people talking about someone story, writefags answers questions, talk about where their story is going, and fix errors. Drawfags pop in and ask if people have request, etc. If by some chance people would start talking then it wouldn't be so dead.

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This is now a nightly Twilestia thread.

Deal with it.

Is there a pastebin of greens beyond the one that was posted last thread?

>>28884920
http://pastebin.com/u/NightlyTwilightFic
http://pastebin.com/u/BizzarreCoyote
http://pastebin.com/u/Rubick_Magus
http://pastebin.com/u/LoreLove
http://pastebin.com/u/Silver_Smoulder
http://pastebin.com/u/Mosque3Hotel
http://pastebin.com/u/Pablo_Chacon
http://pastebin.com/gNGpcKzD

>>28868444
nice green, can't wait for the big one you've said you're writing

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Would you ever cheat on Twilight?

It's not like she'll find out.

>>28888212
nah. other mares just pale in comparison to Twilight, and even if they didn't, i doubt i'd ever be sexually unsatisfied to the point of seeking them

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>>28888212
>Would you ever cheat
And stop reading right there.

>>28888238
What if she leaves Ponyville for princess business for a long time?

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>>28888212
>cheating on your waifu

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>>28888495
Not even if the mare in question really wanted you?

>>28888517
It's not cheating, it's uhh, sharing! And that's what friends do, right? They share. Everything. Mates included.

>>28888502
i'd go with her, of course. and even if i couldn't, what's the longest she's ever been from ponyville? and have you seen how overpowered her teleportation has gotten lately? she could probably cross half of equestria with a few blinks so she can have her daily dose of HMD

best pony

>>28888212
No.

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>>28888525
I'm not falling for your commie "share the puss" tricks

Better dead the red

>>28888525
If you're implying Glimmer, then I would have no problem being a eunuch for the rest of my life.

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What's her weirdest fetish?

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>>28890181

Collecting different species of fungi.

>one day old
>only 38 posts

give it up twilightfags, your daily general is ded

>>28891122
It was never a super busy general. It's been a relaxed state of posting instead. A welcome change compared to other threads.

>>28891341
nah I've been here since like 2014 when I started to like Twilight suddenly. It really is dead compared to then. Then again, this whole fucking board seems dead to me.

>>28891694
the board as a whole gets half the daily posts it got back in 2014

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This is a house of God, Twilight! How could you be masturbooping?

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>"Wrong hole, wrong hole!"

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>>28892786
How would you sleep with her at night? Wouldn't you be worried about her horn impaling your eye?

Would she wear a cork on it for you? Perhaps a magic spell that prevents her from slamming her horn deep into your cornea?

>>28893413
Her horn's not that sharp. Either way, her head's expected to at least be at my chest. The only problems caused by that horn will be waking me up if it pokes me.

>>28893413
unicorns have had their horns from birth, they naturally know how to not hit things with it

>>28893637
translator note: keikaku means plan

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>>28893430
>>28893454
Yea but what if you or her moved while you slept and you got an eyeful of her horn? Even if it wasn't particularly sharp, go and shove a fat sharpie into your eye, its still gonna hurt you.

>>28882956
Fuck twilight

>>28893813
Then she'd get a mouthful of my horn

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>>28893833
Fuck her hard.

>>28893849
Reversing the order would make it hotter.

>>28893813
What kind of move would she have to make to thrust her horn into my eye? Does she headbutt me in her sleep or something? If she turned her head and the horn touched my eye, the body would reflexively pull away.

>>28894043
You just hug her really tight

>>28886352
>Pon Quixote
Lol that ballet sux tho

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>>28894043
I've straight up slammed my head into the sharp side of my bedside table from the middle of my fullsize bed somehow. Who knows. Maybe you have a nightmare, you wake up, and you reflexively headbutt the sweet horsi you're sleeping with.

Lets hope that healing magic can fix your broken eye.

Either way, I'd risk that just to sleep with this horsi. Who needs eyes when you have a QT poner to sleep with.

>>28894964
If you have no eyes then you cannot see how qt your horsi is.

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>>28894043
I spent an eon and two minutes in MS paint aurtistically (the portmanteau is intended) expressing that I just cannot see how she will stab my eyes with her horn.

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where does she go from here? She's more comfortable with her role as a princess, starlight's finishing up her tutelage under her, even the remaining known villain isn't targeting her(unless Tyrec gets out again)

what's left for her to do?

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Guys... I think I really love this horse. What the fuck do I do?

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>>28894968
FUCK. FUCK!

>>28895404
She will take on Celestia's role as the big good boss character that tells the main cast to go do things while she sits on her big, thicc ass all day eating cake and enjoying herself.

>>28888212
I want Glimmer dead.

>>28895404
>Finishing her tutelage
Starlight has only just begun.

>>28895537
Me too. Waifu WARS NOW! WAIFU WARS NOW!

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>>28897273

>>28897273
I wouldn't recommend it, the glimmer thread is full of psychopaths, their posts are more absurd than any shitpost you could come up with.

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>>28895492
you worship her and celebrate her every day and in every way you can, basking in her breathtaking beauty and sweetness while trying to cope with the pain

>>28895492
forget her
move on
do not come back here
do not look at pictures of her again
do not pass go
do not collect $200

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>>28895404
I don't know. Aside from feeling gratified, would she be rewarded for when Starlight "graduates" as her student?

>>28895538
>Starlight has only just begun.
yeah, her studies are nowhere close to done. The changelings were defeated and Chrysalis swearing revenge on Starlight probably implies that there is more to come, just like the ending of TCE did with the Crystal Empire being saved and Starswirl's journal appearing. She'll eventually finish her studies, just a matter of what signifies their end and what happens to her as a result.

Anyways back to Twilight.

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I love this cute horse.

Look how full of love she is.

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GOTTA SAVE THIS PONER THREAD!

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>>28899692
every time I see this image I want to take some seriously deep sniffs of her backside. I'm A FUCKIN ANIMAL!

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>>28899731
That's a pretty natural reaction

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>YWN bury your face in her pretty hoovsies.

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>>28900199
If she were anthro like that, thank goodness.

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>>28900221
i thought you said you would stop coming back here

>>28900250
I'm sorry. It was a mistake.

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>>28900221
She's not anthro she's just standing up cause she knows you like how it looks.

SHE DID IT FOR YOU ANON! FOR YOU. AND YOU DIDNT LOVE HER.

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>>28886870
I'm working on the massage scene now. About 75% done.

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>>28901335
>massage scene

>>28901777
Alpha mare.

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I said I wouldn't bump but I guess I will. Fuck all 33 of you either way I guess.

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>>28903354

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>>28903388
Nice double dubs

>>28904290
Oooh that's some weapons grade cute pone.

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>>28901335

>>28901335
Twily! You shouldn't waste all that mayo, Its much cheaper to just use moisturizer.

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How do I let go of this pony? Is there any way for me to just stop fantasizing about her? I want to let her go because I know on the inside that she would not love me at all. Rather, my neurotic, pathetic and self-pitying personality would annoy her. Fantasizing about loving her all day does nothing for me, infact it hurts because then I have no incentive to go out and make something of myself. I don't even have the courage to end myself. All I'm doing is hurting myself even more by attaching to this pony and imagining that I'm a somebody. I look at her and see a life I'll never have or deserve.

I want to forget her. I'd be forgettable to her.

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>>28905717
Something that some sad half-contemplative individuals do is escapism through literature. There is an infinite supply of literature. You won't be able to leave her but you'll come to understand her better, and maybe live more fully too.

>>28905717
if you are like me and can only have one waifu then try to check out other waifus as much as possible, if you like one enough eventually you will like her less and maybe you can find the right moment to escape them both

>>28905832
I don't think that reading fantasies instead of thinking them will help.

>>28905923
Fiction is about fantasy, but literature is about life.

>>28905717
She isn't real anon

>>28908611
I know she isn't. The problem is that if she were, she would not even like me.

>>28908662
you would become a better man little by little, day by day if she were with you. she already has that effect on a lot of people without even being real

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>>28908662
The only way for her to be real would be through an AI, and that AI would, if not programmable, at least boundable to given behaviours.

i.e. the only way for her to be real AND for her to not like you is if you want her to be that way.

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>>28908763

>>28908763
>>28898639
She's a big mare.

>>28909688
And a big mare gets to do whatever she wants to you.

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>>28909688
for you

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>>28909688
For you

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I want Twilight to go on an adventure in some far away land and do some mysterious magic research stuff.

I want green.

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>>28914613

So...what do you guys think Twilight's sexual tendencies are? I mean, everyone has their own, so what's her's?

>>28915639
Anything that's alive and has a hole will do for her.

>>28915639
I tend to think she masturbates in the shower. Sure she can do it in the bedroom, but I think her paranoid nature would make her question if she'd leave stains on the sheets...sheets that Spike'd have to wash, of course...

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I'm saving this qt poner's thread.

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I want to spank this mare

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>>28919366
only if she's into it

>>28919366
She wants to dickslap you

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>Twilight groans and bites her lip, pushing her rump out a little more as the round tip of the plug pushes into her little purple butt
>On purpose, she moans, loudly while she stretches out more and more, until finally her ponut clenches around the bottom, forcing the plug a bit deeper and generating a loud "Unf~!" from the mare
>Almost immediately, her magic tugs on the flare, stretching out her ponut more, and more until her ring can't hold onto the plug anymore, it slips out rapidly with a pop, sending a jolt of sensation to shoot through Twilight
>"Oh- Fuuuuck~" she arches her back, heavily breathing and rubbing her exposed clit

>>28919539
I expected nothing, but that made me diamonds. I would fill and stretch that mare so good

>You'll never be with twilight
>you'll never be happy
>you'll never be in their perfect world
>you'll never be with twilight
Why
Even
Live

>>28920745
Those lines on her hooves indicate she's an animate sewn doll like Raggie.

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>>28920777
Pretty sure its intended to be a Plushie, was a while ago when I saved it but I think I remember seeing it tagged with that.

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How does she stay cozy in the winter?

>>28920867
With snuggles

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I love Twi with glasses

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>>28920867

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>>28920867
Cocoa, a lit fireplace, some clothes, and she and her lover get nice, hot, and sweaty under the sheets.

>>28882956

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>>28923402

>>28924490
Damn that snoot! Damn it to hell! It'll never cease to bring us cuteness.

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>>28922538
Just realized that she has horseshoes on in this. Kinda makes me think that unicorns really DO have soft inner hooves. Just think, most of them have no choice but to wear horseshoes because they don't have sheer hoof resilience like earth ponies do.

It only fits more into my headcanon that unicorns, and even pegasi, have marsh-mellowly soft hooves perfect for giving smoochies to.

Also, even in canon, how would a hard hoof wipe the dirt away from this window? It wouldn't.

Checkmate for hoof-fags.

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giraffe pony

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giraffe

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giraffe.

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giraffe

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giraffe pony

i want to nuzzle that cute purple swan neck

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>>28925053
I want to see how deep I can stick my cock in it

>>28925132
i hope you mean the throat

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>Be enjoying a book by the fireplace
>This t h i c c plot slaps down on your lap
>"You're hot. I'm cold. Warm me up."

>>28927248
That would take a lot of body heat to warm up

>page 10

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>>28927248
She can borrow a shirt

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>>28928520
That won't warm her up fast enough. She needs body heat.

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>>28924587
Twiggy having soft marshmallow hooves confirmed.

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What if you were caught playing with her hooves?

>>28930393
Caught by whom? I wouldn't care

>>28930428
She looks like a child there and it's creepy.

>>28930440
I'm sorry, do you have a problem with qt little poners? I think you're on the wrong board friend.

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>>28930393
Caught how? Like she's asleep and you're sitting next to her rubbing your thumb into her soft inner hoof?

I wouldn't be a creep about it, I'd just tell her I think her hooves are nice and if she'd like me to rub em. The weirder you are about stuff like that the more awkward it becomes.

>>28929156
I'm like a furnace at night. She will rue the day she decided I was her permanent cuddle buddy.

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>>28924587
Hard landings must be rough on pegasi and alicorns unless they have just enough resilience.

>>28931463
That's why most pega live in a magic cloud city where it literally wouldn't matter.

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>>28930393

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I want to run my fingers through her silky mane
I want to hold her soft, mushy body against me
I want to slowly rub her marshmallow hoofies with my other hand
I want to nuzzle her smooth, fuzzy muzzie
I want to hear her soft moans from all the sensation

>>28936792
>6

Pretty sure you're missing a puddle there.

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>>28938496
That's a lot of cancer in a single cap

>>28938644
I miss her snarky, sarcastic attitude

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>>28938496
GOLD

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She likes to get her adrenaline pumping

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This evil mare comes up to you and slaps your paycheck with a large income tax increase.

What do you do?

>>28939461
Were it any other pony I'd grumble angrily and vote conservative even harder than before.

It's Twilight though, so I'd just fuck her. That's the answer to pretty much anything she does.

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>>28882956
Is she secretly sexual?

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>>28882956
but what if I like evil twilight?

>>28940652
No!
My mare is pure.

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>You will never make love to her for the first time
>You will never gently push in and out of her, changing speed and depth as she asks
>You will never start speeding up towards the end as she gets close
>She will never suddenly kiss you and moan loudly into your mouth as she shares her first orgasm with you

>>28940652
What does it even mean when someone "is sexual"?

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>>28941014
don't fool yourself, that mare masturbates herself to sleep almost every night

by the way, does anyone have that green where anon makes twilight look into his eyes during her first orgasm so that she would always think of him whenever she came (or something like that)?

>>28941143
I member that one. good shit.

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>>28941326
Yea.... Imma need that link boi.

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>>28941143
She sure loves pleasing herself.

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Lovely purple horse

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I love her. God, I love her. But I wish, I was like her.

I guess I picked the wrong time to realize this was my favorite horsi. She had basically already become an alicorn soon after. I must have missed so many quality greens and so many conversations. Now it seems like many parts of this place are dying. I don't know if I will have enough qt poners to fill the void anymore.

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>>28944400
MLP fandom is declining right now but it will stagnate and stay the same for maybe another decade. But yeah, you missed on a lot

>>28943133
you mean that lovely pink creature behind her?

>>28945933
Thank you for that. My eyes are now running down my face like raw eggs.

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>>28946255

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She needs to be nice and thicc for the winter.

Why does Twilight hang out with Rainbow Dash yet hate Trixie's guts?

They're both boastful cunts

>>28947845
Trixie is also a Unicorn, and thus a threat.

Dash is a racially inferior Pegasus who could never threaten Twilight or her quest for a mate.

>>28932986
amazing image

>>28947848
dash is a cunt without malice. trixie's only purpose in life is one uping twilight. why would you be nice to someone with that kind of obsession for you

>>28947891
meant for >>28947845

>>28944400
There isn't enough Twily too sate my appetite anymore. THERE ISNT ENOUGH! I'm starting to take a liking to Star Butterfly now.

I'm turning into a normie now. Next thing you know I'll go from Star Butterfly to... ACTUAL HUMANS.

What if I want a real life QT blonde waifu now?

>>28948424
content is only a bonus, you spoiled little bitch. some people even dedicate their love to background characters that never had a single green, and here you are whining that Twi doesn't get 10 new greens every day anymore. you disgust me

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>>28948545
Literally go fuck yourself, I've written more for this thread than you've written in your entire life.

I'm talking about how this thread and derpibooru have crawled to a complete halt compared to what it was years ago.

Don't talk to me about being spoiled. I've written way too many greentexts and bumped this dead thread way too many times for someone to call me spoiled little bitch.

What have you done with your time here anon. Based on the way you wrote that sentence, I can assume you don't know how to write properly, so we can cross that one right off the list.

>>28948593
look, i'm saddened by the decrease in content creation as much as anyone else, but that has no influence on how i feel about Twi. your post gave the impression that you are drifting away towards some other bitch because of content alone, which is heresy to me when every other character has always had much less

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rub that belly

>>28951281
OOC

The green I've been talking about is almost done. I'm at 24 pages and writing the "climax".

And since this place is so devoid of activity...let's have a discussion.

How would you propose to Twilight?

>>28951938
By giving her a good beating, of course.

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>>28951938
It's hard to say. Maybe over something we've already bonded a lot over in order to increase the emotional connection before the big moment. Can't really guess what that special something would be without the experience, though.

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>>28951938
>24 pages

Now I feel even worse for not touch any of my stories for 3 months.

>How would you propose to Twilight?

I don't know, but probably a romantic night out while being a nerdy joker, then dropping the hammer when we both settle down, and the nights almost over.

>>28951938
After a nice dinner, I would take her to some hill under the stars and without wasting too much time I'd do it. And then I'd live to make her the happiest mare in the world each and every day

>>28951938
Challenge her to ritual combat by the rules of a human tradition that I made up and doesn't actually exist, and then defeat her for the rights to claim her as my wife.

>>28951938
Forced by her father after I impregnate her

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>>28951938
She's smart. Smarter than anypony else. And once she's sucked you dry, she'll be even smarter!

>>28956060
She's so cute. I want to put a bun in her oven.

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>>28956853
>you will never fill her belly with love

>>28958402
I want to soak my dick in maple syrup

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>>28956853
>wanting to have mutant satyr children

ew

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>>28882956
>it's a Twilight stalks anon/Twilight is a rapist green

Into the trash it goes

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>>28959951
>It's a Twilight gently rests her pelvis against Anon's ass after a long night of deep anal sex

Just my type

>>28959870
I'm sorry to break your illusions, but it doesn't work like that, Koala anon.

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>>28960741
>>28959870
>Be catholic anon
>have tons of unprotected sex with your waif
>populate the world with your mutant spawn

>>28960930
I wouldn't have it any other way

>>28960930
>catholic
>interspecies sex
This anon must really love hell and Satan.

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>>28960930
>not naming the first 2 males after your granddads
>not naming the first two females after grandmothers
>not naming the later kids after great heroes, conquerors, inventors, and explorers

come on now, twilight.

"What do you mean you can't cook?"
>Her Royal Highness, Princess of Friendship, Alicorn of Magic, Archmage of Equestria, Princess Twilight Sparkle looks at you with those big purple eyes of hers.
>"It honestly never came up, Anon. When I lived with my parents, they did the cooking. Then the cooks at the School for Gifted Unicorns. Then Spike."
>She blushes slightly and looks away for a bit.
>"I tried to once. I burnt the cereal, the milk curdled when I got too close, and the orange ended up burning a hole in the floor."
>She points to a carpet in the kitchen.
>You slowly walk up to it and nudge it with your foot.
"Wow. That's a deep hole."
>hur hur hur
>You move the carpet back and take a mental note to step over it next time.
"Anyway, okay. Back on Earth- "
>You break off and blink your eyes rapidly for a bit.
>No, it's just really cold and drafty in this stupid castle.
>You feel a hoof touch you on the leg.
>You jump away.
"Ahem! Back on Earth, I cooked a bit - I wasn't a fancy chef or anything, but I could impress my friends more often than I would disgust them."
>Twilight looks at you with some concern and scrunches her face at you.
>"That doesn't exactly fill me with confidence."
"Shush. I know exactly what I'm doing - and I'll teach you."
>You reach over and boop her on the nose.
"I think we'll start by making a simple bee- oh crap."
>You absolute blithering idiot.
>You had to open your stupid fat mouth.
>Most of the recipes called for meat.
>"Anon? You look like you've been hit with a copy of Elementary Elemental Enchantments going at about 15 miles per hour."
"Wha? Huh? I just - wait, how do you know that? Why so specific?"
>She turns away, turning beet red.
>You overhear her mutter something about "just practicing."
>Crap crap crap.
>Okay, relax, you got this.
>You DO know how to cook.
>You'll just have to figure out something that doesn't-
>THAT'S IT!
>ANON E. MOOSE - SUPER GENIUS!

>>28961826

>Twilight is looking very sceptically at you.
>"Your facial expression just changed like three times in rapid succession - are you sure you want to do this?
>You nod.
"I had a moment of misgiving - but I remembered a dish that's easy and doesn't contain a bit of meat."
>She blanches momentarily.
>"Ah, yes. That."
>She rubs her hoof.
>"Tell you what - why don't you tell me what it is and I'll decide. I do have some more reports I need to catch up on."
"Simple. It's herb-peanut pasta with white sauce!"
>Her mouth hangs slightly open.
>"That does sound pretty good! All right, you're on. And you'll show me how to do this."
>You make an over-exaggerated bow.
"Most certainly, your Majesty. And it's a good thing the Royal Poisoner - er, Poison Detector Pony is out of town - I'll just need you to sign this and this, so that if something dreadful happens to you, I would inherit your Kingdom."
>She rolls her eyes.
>"Don't be silly. The word you're looking for is food taster and you know Equestria is matrilineal."
"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! DON'T MISGENDER ME, YOU CIS-PONY!"
>She shakes her head sadly at you.
>"One of these days, I'll teach you that your stupid references to Earth humor are just that - stupid."
>"And don't make that stupid sad face at me. I grew up with a DRAGON THAT'S TOO CLEVER FOR HIS OWN GOOD-"
>A muffled "Can't hear you" echoes throughout the castle.
>" - so don't think you can get to me. No, not with that either. And that's just silly."
>You deflate your cheeks.
"Fine. Spoilsport. You want me to run to the store myself or do you want to accompany me?"
>She rubs her chin.
>"I'll come with you. I've been working too hard as it is. It'll be good to stretch my legs."
>The two of you walk through the castle, her trots interspersing with your footsteps.
>"So what prompted this? Normally you're fine just writing stuff about Earth and publishing it. What made you want to do this?"
>You think about it for a moment.
>Why DO you want to do this?

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>>28961197
What part of "Be fruitful and multiply" do you not understand?

>>28961915
I want Twilight to hear that Anon eats meat and then become scared that Anon might try to eat her, and thus she needs to be on guard for anything suspicious he does.

>>28961915
>You choose your words carefully.
"I've been here for some time. And everypony here has been wonderful to me. But I haven't felt like I accomplished or given back."
>She stops and looks at you.
>"Don't say that! Many ponies enjoy your books about Earth and the things humans do!"
>You wince a bit.
"Yeah, but they treat it like fiction. It's not real to them. And the trade I learned requires technology that you don't have. But cooking? This is something I can do AND I can contribute to Equestrian society by teaching its newest Princess how to cook."
>She gives you a wan smile.
>"You know, it's technically treason to say anything negative about the Princesses?"
"Really?"
>"Well, strictly speaking, yes. There is a law that's never been repealed. I'm actually working on that but it has to get through the Canterlot Castle Legal Works first, to make sure it doesn't cause some kind of law cascade."
>The two of you briefly imagine Equetria imploding in a pile of paperwork, stamps, miles of red tape, and ponies dressed in three-piece suits.
>You exchange glances and keep walking.
>"You... haven't seen Pinkie around, right?"
"She dropped by in the morning."
>"Okay."

-some time later-

>Twilight and you fall through the front gate of the castle.
>You slam into a bookcase and shove it against the doors.
>She conjures up a bunch of mystic runes around the door which flash red and then disappear from sight.
>You grab the bags and stealthily crouch-walk to the kitchen, with Twilight in tow.
>You make your way there and fumble around for some matches.
>Twilight's horn glows and illuminates everything in a soft glow - not enough to be noticeable from the outside.
>You find the matches and light some candles as her horn winks out.
>The two of you state at one another.
"Undead."
>"Parasprite."
"Hydras."
>"Infused with Chaos magic. Discord and I are going to have WORDS."
>"No we're not."
>"Yes we a- GET OUT OF HERE DISCORD!"

>>28962020
>With a laugh and a smell of peppermint the draconequs vanishes.
>Twilight grits her teeth.
>"If just one thing, one more thing goes wrong, I'm going to turn somepony into a delightfully whimsical edition of Popular Tales for Fillies and Colts and eat a chocolate donut over it!"
>You stare at her, mouth hanging open.
>"Oh, who am I kidding. I could never do that."
>She teleports a book to her, starts caressing it, and whispering sweet nothings into its spine.
"Twilight."
>"Yes and we'll be together forever and then nopony"
"Twilight!"
>"and by then all the other books will be jealous but you understand me"
"TWILIGHT!!!!"
>She looks up at you and cocks an ear.
>"You know, that's four exclamation marks. One more and you can join me in Book Fort Alpha."
"No Twilight, that's stupid and dumb. We're going to cook, remember."
>She bounces up, straightens out her mane, and pulls out a notepad and quill.
>"Right! So, what's the first step."
>Gosh, she just looks so cute with her chest puffed out and standing at attention.
"Right. First we set the water to boil. Add salt - doesn't exactly matter how much, we'll be straining them anyway."
>She immediately does so.
>You busy yourself with pulling out the rest of the goods.
"All right, let's make the sauce next. We're not going to go for one of the fancy sauces - so I'll chop the onions and carrots - you grind the peanuts and garlic."
>"Aye-aye General."
>You facepalm as you recall your foray into making nuclear weapons for Equestria.
>You were surprised when Celestia didn't set you on fire and throw you off Hoofer Dam.
>Grabbing one of the big knives you make short work of your vegetables.
>Twilight seems to be struggling.
"No just... no, just rub it up and down. A bit more gentle than that, otherwise it will get everywhere."
>A couple of moments later, she manages to get two neat piles of peanut shavings and garlic mush.
>You take a deep dish frying pan, pour some olive oil on it, and put it on the flames.

>>28962089
>"Now what?"
>You look at the boiling water.
"All right. Take the pasta, dump it into the water. Set a low flame under the frying pan and dump the sour cream into it."
>She carries out your instructions to the letter.
>"Okay, next."
"All right. Mix the herbs and the stuff we prepared into the pasta. Slowly and stir while you do it. It has to barely simmer. I'll watch the pasta until it's ready."
>The two of you start doing your thing.
>"I have to say Anon, this is pretty fun."
>Her face darkens.
>"Minus the situation that we had to take care of."
"Well, that goes without saying."
>"Anyway, I want to say thank you."
"Thank me when we're done. I'm going off a recipe I vaguely remember from literally a different world. I may have screwed up and we'll both end up dead. Who'll inherit your title then."
>"Well, considering my title was wrought by a spell, presumably it would just be extinguished until another successor to Starswirl comes around."
>You boop her on the nose yet again.
"Are you kidding? There's nopony out there that can match you in both power and finesse."
>She turns red and hides her head under her wing.
"Hey hey. Watch the sauce. If it burns - "
>You channel your inner Rarity.
"- it'll be ruined! Oh the horror!"
>She stifles a giggle.
>You grab the pasta, drain it under some cold water, and throw it into the sauce.
"Now turn up the heat just a smidge, stop stirring, and let it finish going soft. What we did was, we made it al dente, and then will take it a step past that in the sauce."
>She nods, writing all of this down, then looks around momentarily.
>"Hey Anon, see anypony in the window."
>You stealth-crawl over.
"Nope."
>You crawl back.
>She bites her lower lip and then gives you a tight hug with her wings.

>>28962173
>"Thank you SO much for doing this, Anonymous."
>You return the hug, a bit awkwardly - 'cause you weren't expecting it.
"You're welcome? It's not that big of a deal."
>"Yes it is. Almost all my life, I've been treated as an ivory tower intellectual. Which is true, to an extent. But the implication is that I couldn't do something..."
>She pauses trying to find the right word.
>"...something non-aristocratic for myself. I've been a scholar, an envoy, an archmage, and now I'm a Princess. And you teaching me to cook shows others that I can in fact do something mundane for myself."
>She looks away in embarassment.
>You return the hug more genuinely and strongly now.
"So it was good for you too, huh?"
>She groans and pushes you with her hoof.
>"You're stupid Anon."
>You reach over and turn the fire off, and then start massaging her back near her wings.
>"Yyyyyesss. This pleases your Princess."
>She curls up in your lap while the two of you sit on her kitchen floor.
>About five minutes later you stop the massage.
"Nope, now it's my turn to say "Don't give me that face," Twilight. Let's actually try what we made."
>You grab a pair of dishes and serve the pasta while Twilight puts on some tea.
>It turns out to be pretty good.
>And neither of you pasta way.

-END-
Permalink: http://pastebin.com/PskiJtT3

Questions, comments, concerns, and critiques always welcome. After not writing anything for over a year, I definitely feel hella rusty.

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Bump to read later

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Does anyone have that edit of this edit with a knife through her chest?

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>>28963740

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>>28963846
There it is, thank you, and it helped me find the other.

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>>28963754

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>>28963846
You really like putting things inside her, don't you?

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>>28962209
Hey good to see you back! This little slice of life green is a nice and warm read. For a year off you did good.

#notmyprincess

No, but I do actually like her a lot. I want to be her dumb follower.

>>28962209
Nice.

>>28966485
I would destroy her.

>>28966485
For someone who can control their urges. Someone like Starlight.

>>28967536
This. Starlight has great self-control, it's been really beaten into her.

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>>28967536
>implying

>>28967544
I'd have no issues with beating even more of it into her.

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>>28967536
>>28967545
I would spitroast Starlight together with Twilight. Make sure she chokes.

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>>28967570

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Twilight doesn't know what to feed you. So far bread and some vegetables work, but she knows that there is something missing from your diet.

>>28968714
Her mare juices

>>28968714
Vitamin B12 capsules, what else?

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>>28968714
She hopes you liked that steak.

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>>28968714
Trial and error
She'll figure it out

>>28967481
You can't have sex with that horse!