Robits and autism

File: 1477753667741.png (168KB, 720x642px) Image search: [Google]

168KB, 720x642px

>>28841051
>not autism-romance
The COO will rise again.

File: Flutter butter.png (348KB, 992x691px) Image search: [Google]

348KB, 992x691px

>>28841051

File: IMG_2383.gif (808KB, 225x249px) Image search: [Google]

808KB, 225x249px

>>28831237

will anon expose the jews or will they shut him down?

File: IMG_2419.jpg (188KB, 964x807px) Image search: [Google]

188KB, 964x807px

how do you guys see roboanon? I think he looks like the spybots from tf2, but with the appropriate color schemes for anonymous. It makes sense since he is model 1, and humans are extra stupid that they can't see whats going on.

File: Protectron-Fallout-3-a.jpg (140KB, 500x653px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 500x653px

>>28841792
>how do you guys see roboanon?
Pic related

>>28841792
I imagine he's a giant Metal Gear witch a cheap human plastic mask and nobody notices

>>28841792
Practically anything from the megaman series, in a robot suit with a tuxedo design

>>28841792
this

>>28841792
That'd be cool but in the story it's stated that Anon's skin suit is damaged and shows his metal skeleton. I'm guessing he's more like the T-800 than a clearly robot figure.

File: lost-nick-valentine.jpg (213KB, 1680x1050px) Image search: [Google]

213KB, 1680x1050px

>>28841792
Pic related, but green

File: Mechazawa1.jpg (28KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 400x300px

>>28841792
For shame, all of you.
There's only one answer.

>>28843511
Anon...that's just a picture of a regular guy.

>>28831237

>Detecting quick movement.
>Tracking Fluttershy's hand.
>Pressure on mouth.
>"Anon, shh! You can't say that out loud!"
>Acquiring Fluttershy's hand.
>Relocating hand to side.
"But I did."
>Registering rapid eye movements.
>"Anon...j-jeez, come with me."
>Fluttershy wishes to lead this unit away.
>Chances of this being a trap: 1.6%
>Caution advised.
>Following Fluttershy.
>Cross referencing route with updated maps.
>Entering "The Ancient Zone".
>Scanning lockers.
>Style: mid 50s.
>Material: steel.
>Status: bolted shut.
>Light levels reducing to 67%
>Visibility unfavorable.
>"I don't think anyone will hear us here."
>Entering scan mode.
>Scanning for lifeforms.
>6 quadrillion lifeforms detected.
>Narrowing search parameters to multi cellular life.
>256,371 lifeforms detected.
>Narrowing search parameters to humanoid life.
>1 life form detected.
"Affirmative. We are alone."
>Detecting sigh.
>"You need to be more careful. W-we could have gotten in big trouble back there."
"Elaborate."
>"Anon, let me tell you about the jews."

>>28844266

>Audio receptors tuned.
>"Long ago, in the mid 50s, the jews were everywhere. They held the world tight in their wallets and their greasy little hands. Kind of weird how we don't see any now, huh?"
"Affirmative."
>"That's because one day, someone rose up to defend us from them. This person, this goddess named Principle Celestius--"
>Entering interrupting mode.
"Error. You mean to say Principal Celestia."
>"What? No, they're two totally different people. Let me talk."
>Cataloging Celestius.
>"She rose up from the slums. Her ivory skin was undirty from the filth the jews forced us to live in. Her magical hair flowed in the wind as she rode through the streets, preaching to the people of a better way of life. Celestius taught the people how to stand for themselves."
"What happened?"
>"We gassed them all. All 6 gorrillion of them."
>Checking data banks for "gorrillion".
"Error. Gorrillion is not a number. Please select another value."
>"There were so many we had to make a new number."
"This is highly improbable. My data shows numbers able to account for every atom in the universe. The number of jews on Earth could not exceed this number."
>"Do you want to hear the story or not?"
>Evaluating.
>"Well?"
"Continue."
>"We got rid of all the jews. Our society was saved, but most of all, our cartoons. We had to swear a vow to never speak of the jews again, because even the mention of their name could give their ideas power and corrupt lesser men. We've lived in peace ever since."
"You said cartoons. Elaborate."
>"Jews hate cartoons."
>My Little Pony is a cartoon.
>My Little Pony is made by Hasbro.
>Anonymous Model 2 wishes to terminate Hasbro.
>Chances of Anonymous Model 2 being a jew: 36%
>Chances new developments will interfere with mission: 48%
>Calculating anti-jew measures.

File: 1451799931970.jpg (861KB, 790x765px) Image search: [Google]

861KB, 790x765px

>>28844330
>Calculating anti-jew measures

>>28844330
>inb4 anon-bot becomes robo-hitler

>>28844330

>Accounting for variables.
>Several variables detected.
>Error.
>Too many variables. Not enough information on jews to properly calculate anti-jew measures.
>Searching for information pools on jews.
>Found: Principle Celestius.
>Likely match with Principal Celestia.
>Fluttershy claims Principle Celestius and Principal Celestia are separate entities.
>Scanning Fluttershy.
>Evaluating intelligence.
"What is 2 plus 2?"
>"What?"
>Conclusion: unintelligent.
>Disregarding Fluttershy's claims.
>Planning route to principal's office.
"Please excuse me. My supply of milk has been recently depleted and I must depart to acquire more from a merchant."
>"O-oh, ok. Um, nice talk."
>Departing.
>"Th-that's cool too. Bye, Anon."
>En route to Principal Celestia's office.

>>28844330
>"There were so many we had to make a new number."
KEK

File: 1450892570329.jpg (79KB, 680x441px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 680x441px

>>28844906
>Scanning Fluttershy.
>Evaluating intelligence.
>"What is 2 plus 2?"
>"What?"
>Conclusion: unintelligent.
>Disregarding Fluttershy's claims.

FUCKING JEWS

>>28844906
This is so good

>>28844266
Check'd btw

File: 1444581122384.jpg (2MB, 3466x2776px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3466x2776px

>>28844906
This is absolutly glorious,please don't stop

>>28844266
>>28844330
>>28844906
you glorious bastard

Bump for more green

>>28844906

>Locating main office.
>Approaching windows.
>Running Peeping program.
>No police officers visible.
>Ending Peeping program.
>Entering office.
>Approaching principal's door.
>"You can't go in there. She's busy."
>Locating source of voice.
>Detected receptionist.
>Registering apathetic glare.
>Formulating response.
"She will become busy in the way that I will occupy her time."
>"Don't make me have to escort you out of here."
>Detecting threat.
>Evaluating direness of threat.
>Conclusion: not serious.
>Ignoring receptionist.
>Opening door.
>Scanning room.
>Detected student and adult.
>Chances adult is Principal Celestia: 100%
>Evaluating Celestia.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Low.
>Threat level 100. Eliminate with extreme prejudice.
>Running Minute Holding program.
>Reevaluating Celestia.
>Threat level 100. Eliminate with extreme prejudice.
>Evaluating student.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Low.
>Threat level 0. Proceed with interaction.
>Data values for student and Celestia match.
>0 does not equate to 100.
>Overriding evaluation.
>Celestia threat level 0.
>Threat level 1.
>Threat level 2.
>Overriding evaluation.
>Cancelling evaluation.
>"Can I help you?"
>Registering question from Celestia.
"Affirmative. I require information."
>"I'm busy."
"Affirmative. You are busy with me."
>Approaching student.
"Leave."

>>28849965

>"We done here, Celly?"
>Detecting sigh.
>"I suppose. Come back at the end of the day and we can finish our discussion."
>"Yeah, whatever."
>Student leaving.
>"End of the day, Innominate!"
>"Yeah, whatever!"
>Student has departed.
>"Well? Are you going to sit?"
"Negative. My experience with chairs has been less than satisfactory in recent times."
>"Aren't you a little young to be having knee problems?"
"My knees meet model standards."
>"Right..."
>Alert: danger. Eliminate threat.
>Closing popup.
>"So, you need information?"
"Affirmative."
>"On?"
"The jews."
>"The what?"
"The jews."
>"What the hell is a jew?"
>Deploying raised eyebrow.
>Eyebrow successful.

>>28850071

>Threat: jews.
>Celestia: jew.
>Celestia interferes with mission. Eliminate threat.
>Scanning Celestia.
>Conclusion: not jew.
>Revising answer: jew. Eliminate.
>Ending mental processes.
>"I'm sorry, who are you?"
"I am Anonymous Model..."
>Eliminate.
"I am Anonymous."
>"Hello, Anonymous. I'm Celestia."
"I know. I request information."
>Information acquired.
>Celestia is a threat. Eliminate.
"That information is incorrect."
>"I'm sorry?"
>Scanning conversation.
>No information found to lead to such a conclusion.
>Disregarding conclusion.
"You are a likely match for Principle Celestius, slayer of the jews. I have no records on these people. I require your assistance on acquiring information on them."
>Detecting rapid eye movements.
>"Close the door."
>Scanning Celestia's head.
>Located 6 spots prime for smashing into office door.
>Ending mental process.
>Approaching door.
>Closing door.
>Closing successful.
>Current status: locked in room with threat. Eliminate immediately.
>Evaluating Celestia.
>Threat level 100.
>Threat level 200.
>Threat level 300.
>Cancelling evaluation.
>"What do you know about Celestius?"
>Eliminate.
"Celestius was the slayer of jews in the mid 50s."
>Eliminate.
>"And?"
>Eliminate.
"That is all my elim-- that is all my records show on Celestius."
>"And what makes you think I am she?"
"Your names are a 97% match."
>"That's it?"
"Eliminate."
>"What?"
"Affirmative."
>Detecting chin rubbing.
>Sign of aggression. Attack.
>Cancelling attack protocols.
>"Well, that's not really much to go by, is it?"
"You are displaying signs of nervousness. I am correct in my assumption."
>"I could be nervous for many reasons."
>Nervousness likely due to attack.
>Eliminate threat.
>Error. Celestia is not a threat.
>Revising statement: Celestia is a threat.

>>28850243

"You are Celestius. You will answer my eliminate or I will question you."
>Analyzing statement.
>Aggressive? Yes.
"Forgive me for my previous statement. I meant to say that you are eliminate and I will eliminate you."
>Analyzing statement.
>"Anonymous? Are you ok?"
"Please excuse me."
>Opening door.
>Exiting room.
>Closing door.
>Scanning main office.
>Detecting receptionist.
>Evaluating receptionist.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Low.
>Threat level 0. Proceed with interaction.
>Locating windows.
>Running Peeping program.
>Detecting several students.
>Evaluating student.
>Threat level 0.
>Evaluating student.
>Threat level 1.
>Evaluating student.
>Threat level 0.
>Evaluating teacher.
>Threat level 0.
>Scanning systems for coding error.
>None found.
>Scanning code for what constitutes a threat.
>Cross referencing with cataloged information on Celestia.
>No matches found.
>Obstacle detected.

File: KawaidesuSeaUrchinsan.jpg (3MB, 2000x1333px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 2000x1333px

This is really good ! Keep it up >pic related

File: tis but a scratch.png (129KB, 1239x594px) Image search: [Google]

129KB, 1239x594px

>>28850426
>"Anon is there something on your face?"
"Negative."
>"I kinda feel like there's something on your face."
"I have bandaids."
>"Oh yeah youre right."

>>28850522
>"I have bandaids."
I chuckled

Did someone saved the "All your base are belong to us" edit?

>>28852198
no, but you could probably easily get it in the archive

File: 927497.jpg (37KB, 399x339px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 399x339px

>>28850243
>>28850283
GUYS I'M SUPER SCARED RIGHT NOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO OUR FAVOURITE ANONBOT?

BEE BOOBOO BEEP!?

>>28856038
BOO BOO BOP

>>28857688
WITNESSED

>>28857711
Great Scott

>>28841828
Metal Gear NES

Main goal: acquire tree-fiddy

File: over kek.png (545KB, 516x573px) Image search: [Google]

545KB, 516x573px

>>28858094
>acquire tree-fiddy

File: tmp_20506-1478911918881-1630830475.png (226KB, 491x447px) Image search: [Google]

226KB, 491x447px

Thread lacks autism

File: tmp_20506-1478911735669-1-1997446547.png (217KB, 483x454px) Image search: [Google]

217KB, 483x454px

>>28858953
These lacks robots

>>28844906
Moar
>11

>>28841051

Bump for more green

>>28850283

>Direct communication with Celestia deemed risky.
>Calculating risk-to-reward ratio.
>Ratio deemed unacceptable.
>Searching for alternate means of communication.
>Entering search mode.
>Found: 4 cellphones in pockets.
>Exiting office.
>Locating student.
>Scanning facial features.
>Close match: potato
>Student likely retarded.
>Collision course set.
>Bumping into student.
>"AHHHHHHHHHHHH DONT TOUCH MEEEEEEEEEE"
"I apologize for my actions. Allow me to aid you in standing up."
>Engaging in bending over.
>Reaching into pocket.
>"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP IT DONT TOUCH ME AHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Please hold still."
>Searching for cellphone.
>Student has escaped.
>Latching onto student.
>Reengaging in cellphone search.
>"LET ME GOOOOOO"
"Cease your struggling. Failure to comply will result in injury."
>Cellphone acquired.
>Standing.
Student fleeing.
>Detecting several stares.
>Turning attention to crowd.
>"Did I just witness rape?"
>"Dude."
>Searching for response.
"The child in question had an adverse reaction to the assortments of psychedelic drugs he had ingested recently. I attempted to help him."
>"Bad trip? Shit man, that sucks."
>"Poor kid."
>Exiting hallway.

File: 1466694362098.gif (2MB, 360x270px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 360x270px

>>28862613
>"Did I just witness rape?"

>>28850426
Also this image made me smile. Thank you, Anon.

>>28858953
>pic
What the fuck?
Is that an Amish surfing?

>>28862613

>Opening cellphone.
>Error.
>Cellphone is locked.
>Searching databanks for solutions.
>Found: Scruffy's universal lock.
>Utilizing lock.
>Phone successfully unlocked.
>Searching contacts for Celestia.
>None found.
>Searching contacts for school.
>1 found.
>Calling contact.
>Waiting.
>Waiting.
>Waiting.
>"Thank you for calling Canterlot High School. I'm Cherry Dandy. What can I do for you?"
"I need to speak to Celestia."
>"She's a little busy right now."
"I am sending a repeated pattern of events."
>"I can put you on hold of you'd like."
"I would like to speak to her now."
>"Thats not an option."
>Force required.
>Searching for threats.
"Do you fear spiders?"
>"No."
"Do you fear small birds?"
>"No."
"Do you fear being blown up?"
>"Yeah. I guess I would say dying is pretty much my greatest fear."
"I have a bomb hidden within the school. I will speak with Celestia now."
>"O-ok, sure. I-I-I'll put you th-through."
"Thank you."
>Awaiting connection.
>Waiting.
>Waiting.
>"Hello?"
"Hello, Celestia."
>"You're the bomb guy, right?"
"Negative. It was a ruse."
>"Wait a second, I remember that robotic voice. Anonymous?"
"Affirmative. I wish to speak with you."
>"Are you using a cellphone on school grounds to make bomb threats?"
"Affirmative."
>Detecting sigh.
"Please tell me about the jews."
>Awaiting response.
"Celestia."
>"Anon, Jesus Christ. Thats so a detention."
"Negative."
>"Anon."
"Please no."
>"I'll see you after school."
>Critical failure.

>>28864256
Shit, forgot my name. That post is Urchin certified.

File: 1449659509512.gif (983KB, 500x364px) Image search: [Google]

983KB, 500x364px

>>28864256
>"Please tell me about the jews."

File: Shitty edit.png (77KB, 557x605px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 557x605px

best thread is nonsense thread

>>28864256
I am thoroughly enjoying this so far

>>28864256
>"Please tell me about the jews."
>>Awaiting response.
>"Celestia."
>>"Anon, Jesus Christ. Thats so a detention."
>"Negative."
>>"Anon."
>"Please no."
It just keeps getting better

>>28857711
Check'd

>>28864256

>"Come to my office after school. We'll talk more then."
>Hanging up.
>Scanning clocks.
>After school begins in 10 minutes.
>Estimated time to escape from school: 10 minutes.
>Accounting for obstacles: 15 minutes.
>Calculating risk-to-reward ratio of attempted escape.
>Ratio deemed acceptable.
>Engaging in escape.
>En route to door.
>Gaining speed.
>Approaching turn.
>Lowering center of gravity.
>Deploying wheels.
>Error.
>Wheels not included in this model.
>Abort drift.
>Collision course set: wall.
>Estimated damages to school architecture: $2736
>Amount exceeds this unit's funds.
>Suggested action: abstain from leaving insurance information.
>Recalculating time of escape accounting for no wheels.
>Conclusion: 15 minutes.
>Recalculating risk-to-reward ratio.
>Ratio deemed acceptable.
>Continuing escape at moderate speed.

>>28869577

>Detecting school bell.
>Checking clocks.
>10 minutes have passed since escape began.
>Hallway filling with students.
>Detecting many obstacles.
>Suggested response: slow down.
>Recalculating escape time for lower speeds and increased hallway traffic: 25 minutes.
>Ignoring suggested response. Maintaining speed.
>Entering scan mode.
>Scanning all students within vision.
>Predicting courses of students.
>Determined 7 routes through crowd accounting for 346 variables.
>Selecting route.
>Following route.
>"Hey man, watch it!"
>"GOTTA GO FAST AMIRITE"
"Please move. I repeat, please move."
>"Hey Dust, looks like you got some competition!"
>Warning: teacher ahead. Incorrect route selected.
>Collision course set: Scruffy

File: 1467076852323.png (68KB, 222x250px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 222x250px

>>28869577
>>28869722
>Lowering center of gravity.
>Deploying wheels.
>Error.
>Wheels not included in this model.
>Abort drift.

checked and keked

File: 1478719109978-pol.jpg (43KB, 316x399px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 316x399px

>>28869577
>Estimated damages to school architecture: $2736
>Amount exceeds this unit's funds.
>Suggested action: abstain from leaving insurance information.
It's the little things that make me kek every time. Nice work.

>>28869577
>Estimated damages to school architecture: $2736
Holy fuck, did he just blow through the wall!? What the hell!?

File: Mr_B.jpg (8KB, 200x204px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 200x204px

You will now read Anon as speaking in my voice.

Wesley

>>28869722
>>Collision course set: Scruffy
Scruffy gon be pissed.

>>28873645
Agreed

What a magical thread

bamperino

>>28869722

>Estimated damage to Scruffy: none.
>"Get off me! Who the hell is runnin' in my halls?"
>Standing.
>"Oh shit, it's you!"
>Scanning Scruffy.
>Status: angry old man.
>"Aw shit, you broke my wheelchair!"
>Scanning area.
>Detecting wheelchair with two bent wheels and a cracked frame.
>Reevaluating Scruffy: angry, crippled old man.
>"You son of a bitch! First my leg, now my chair! What are you doing?!"
"I am escaping school."
>"School's over, you stupid asshole."
"I have been given a detention for using a cellphone on school grounds to make bomb threats."
>Registering smile.
>Measuring length of smile.
>Result: ear-to-ear grin.
>Scruffy's status updated to smug.
>"You have a detention?"
"Affirmative."
>"Well, well, well. Look what we have here."
>Scanning "what we have here".
>Results: crippled old man, a broken wheel chair, 372 passing students, and 1 chewed piece of gum.
>"If you have detention, it's my duty to bring you to the office."
"Negative. I am leaving."
>"Hell no you're not. You broke my damn leg and left me in the basement to rot."
"That information is correct."
>"Don't you think you owe me one?"
"Negative. I will leave now."
>Continuing run sequence.
>Error.
>Run sequence halted.
>Detected hand on ankle.
>"You're not going anywhere but the office, you little shit!"
>Detecting insult.
>Suggested response: insult.
>Formulating response.
"Your creator misread the manual, leading to the placement of your buttocks where your face was to reside."
>"That's it! I do it all for free and this is the thanks I get?! You're going to detention, buster boy!"
>Detecting taser.
>Deploying defensive measures.
>Acquiring Scruffy's uninjured waffle.
>Butter butter blueberry.
>Brother John, Brother John, are you sleeping?
>"Gottttttzaaaaaaaaaaa-"
>Detecting high hello how are you amounts of electric electric electric electric
>Critical system failure.
>Shutting down.

File: XS5LK.gif (883KB, 500x269px) Image search: [Google]

883KB, 500x269px

>>28877363
>Highly functioning
kek

File: good job.jpg (51KB, 635x474px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 635x474px

>>28877363
Still a 10/10 drawing in my eyes

>>28877600
Keep going.

>>28877600
More

>>28877600

>Restart.
>System booting.
>Unit did not shut down successfully. If this was due to the system not responding, or if the system was shut down to protect data, you might be able to recover by choosing one of the Safe Mode configurations from the menu below.
>Safe mode.
>Safe mode with networking.
>Safe mode with command prompt.
>Safe mode with a chill groove.
>Start unit normally.
>Booting.
>Sorting files.
>Restarting from last known encounter.
>Acquiring Scruffy's uninjured leg.
>Error.
>There is no Scruffy.
>Scanning files.
>System restart detected.
>Replaying video file on last encounter before shut down.
>Determining cause of shut down: absurdly powerful taser.
>Closing video file.
>Scanning room.
>Found: 6 students, 27 desks, 1 teacher, 1 clock.
>Updating internal clock with information from room clock.
>"Now, as all you little ruffians know, this is the detention room. You'll be staying here for the next 4 hours while I sit at my desk and pretend I'm working but will actually be giving all my students F's. I don't care what you little creeps do, just do it quietly and in your seats."
>Chances of escape while confined to seat: 0%
>"Also no electronics."
>Scanning unit.
>Electronic? Yes.
>Deploying raised hand.
>"What is it, green kid?"
"If, hypothetically speaking, one student were to be a cybernetic organism and thus electric in nature, would they be allowed to leave?"
>"No. We're an equal opportunity school, so all students are susceptible to detention no matter their background."
>Plan foiled.
>Searching for alternate means of escape.

>>28881354

>Entering search mode.
>Searching for delinquents.
>6 found.
>Scanning grey child.
>Analyzing facial features.
>IQ likely below 60.
>Help from student deemed useless.
>Scanning white child.
>Strength level? Very high.
>Measuring curvature of trapezius muscles and roundness of deltoids.
>Student likely on steroids.
>Determining chances of hormone induced rage hindering help acquired by this student.
>Chances high. Disregarding student.
>Scanning green student.
>Student matches cataloged files on Innominate.
>Scanning facial features.
>IQ likely within normal range.
>Strength level? Normal.
>Measuring bust size.
>Scanning teacher.
>Male? Yes.
>Scanning mustache.
>Chances of pedophilic thoughts: 83%
>Deploying raised hand.
>"What now?"
"Would you consider yourself a lover of mammaries or of the buttocks?"
>"What?"
"Would you consider yourself a lover of mammaries or of the buttocks?"
>"I...why would you ask that?"
"It is relevant."
>"Tits I guess. Shut up and do your work."
>Bust size deemed acceptable.
>Locking eyes with Innominate.
>Eye contact made.
>Leaning.
>Engaging in conversation.
>Lowering volume to whisper levels.
"Would you like to assist me in escaping the detention environment?"

>>28881420

>Registering smile.
>"Escape, huh?"
"Affirmative."
>"Now why would a straight edge, suit wearing little boy like you want to escape?"
"My frame has been designed with many curves to mimic the human skeletal structure."
>"You're weird."
>Detecting insult.
>Suggested response: insult.
"Your glasses lead the illusion that you have 4 eyes instead of 2."
>Detecting laugh.
>Analyzing statement.
>Comedy? No.
>Insult not scathing enough.
>Formulating new response.
>"I like you, kid. Sure, let's escape."
>Cancelling insult.
>"What do we do?"
"You will approach the teacher and disrobe. I estimate 100% of his attention will be focused on you, leaving me with an opportunity to leave."
>"That's dumb."
"You're dumb."
>Insult successful.
>"I'm not getting naked in front of the teacher."
"Why?"
>"Because I'm not going to. That's just wrong."
"Why?"
>"You wouldn't get it."
"Why?"
>"Shut up. Let's think of a better plan."
"Affirmative. You will approach the teacher and guide his hand to your breasts. I estimate 100% of his attention will be focus--"
>"Enough with the sex."
"...Focused on you, leaving me with an opportunity to escape."
>"Are you done?"
"Affirmative. Let us begin."
>"No."
"You are making escape more difficult than it needs to be."

File: 1479019881640.png (832KB, 677x759px) Image search: [Google]

832KB, 677x759px

>>28881475

File: 1451736453003.png (41KB, 576x367px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 576x367px

page 10 bamp

>>28881475

>"Here's an idea. You go strip in front of the teacher while I escape."
"Negative. Then I will not be able to leave."
>"So you see my issue here."
>Searching for solution.
>"Here, I have an idea."
>Searching for solution.
>"Hey, Bulk! This guy said said your traps are uneven!"
>Searching for solution.
>"HE WHAT?!"
>Detecting angry voice.
>Turning attention to white student.
>"YOU GOT BEEF, BRO?"
"Negative."
>Scanning white student.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? Yes.
>Strength level? Very high.
>Threat level 10. Deploying defensive measures.
>"COME HERE, BRO."
"Negative."
>"DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE. I'LL MEASURE THESE TRAPS SO FUCKING HARD I SWEAR TO GOD."
>"What is the meaning of all this yelling? You little shits sit down right now before I call Celestia!"
>"Mr. Doodle, Bulk is going crazy! I think he's off his meds again!"
>"I DON'T NEED MEDS! THE VOICES SAY I'M ALL BETTER!"
>Bulk has acquired a desk.
>Desk approaching at high velocity.
>Collision course set: this unit.
>Detecting extreme force on upper body.
>Running system scan.
>Systems intact.
>Examining flesh suit.
>Impalement detected.
>Suggested response: feign pain.
>Deploying screams of agony.
"Ow. Oh, the pain. Please inject me with a numbing agent in the afflicted area."
>Lowering self to floor.
>Engaging in rolling.
>Detecting Innominate's whispers.
>Raising audio input.
>"Now how's about I get us out of here?"
"Affirmative."
>"Mr. Doodle, I think I should get him to the nurse!"
>"Is he bleeding?"
>"Yeah, kinda! I mean, you know, not as much as you would think being stabbed in the chest would make you bleed, but there's some."
>"Fine, take him out. And Bulk, come to my desk. We need to talk."
>"YOU GOT BEEF BRO?"
>"Put down the desk! Bulk! No! NOOO!"

File: robojack_by_dimfann-d7i9j7l.png (582KB, 800x1136px) Image search: [Google]

582KB, 800x1136px

>>28882766
please produce more text for this unit to scan
also, checked

File: 1451596929431.png (11KB, 271x147px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 271x147px

>>28884408

File: tmp_6318-1478962699837-1706124679.jpg (329KB, 1300x690px) Image search: [Google]

329KB, 1300x690px

Roboboogy

File: tmp_19812-1475585807252-1407688061.jpg (95KB, 746x960px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 746x960px

Now is the time to bump

>>28887495
Bump is upon us

>>28882766

>Detecting helping hand.
>Standing.
>Following Innominate outside of class.
>Engaging in closing door.
>Door closing successful.
>"Hey, that was pretty clever of you. How'd you fake being impaled?"
"Your question is unclear. Please rephrase."
>Examining flesh.
>Severe damage detected.
>Scanning internals.
>Desk leg lodged within chassis.
>No systems damaged on impact.
>Leg poses threat to internal systems upon excessive movement.
>Suggested course of action: remove desk leg.
>Acquiring leg.
>Removing leg from chassis.
>Locating trash receptacle.
>Disposing of leg.
>Turning attention to Innominate.
>Detecting shock.
"What is the matter?"
>"You just...but that was...in your chest."
>Formulating lie.
"The leg was hidden within the crook of my armpit."
>"Then why is your chest bleeding?"
"I had hidden blood capsules in my shirt for such an occasion."
>"That's bullshit."
"Negative. It is the truth."
>Checking room number.
>Cross referencing with updated map.
>Location identified.
>Planning route to school exit.
>Route found.
"Please excuse me."
>"Where are you going?"
"This is not relevant to our relationship. Goodbye."
>"Hey, you can't just leave me hanging."
"Negative."
>Departing.

>>28889326

>Approaching school exit.
>Latching onto door handle.
>Turning door handle.
>Opening door.
>Error.
>Door remains shut.
>Examining lock.
>Conclusion: door is locked.
>Scanning door.
>6 ft 8 inches by 3 feet by 4 inches.
>Composite steel.
>Estimated value: $670
>Amount exceeds this unit's funds.
>Removing breaking from option list.
>Scanning doorknob.
>Estimated value: $0.34
>Amount exceeds this unit's funds.
>Entering search mode.
>Searching for coinage.
>Found: 3 quarters, 1 dime, 38 pennies
>Acquiring 34 pennies.
>Estimated value of doorknob matches this unit's funds.
>Engaging in destruction of government property.

>>28889649

>Latching onto doorknob.
>Adjusting motor strength.
>Pulling doorknob out of door.
>Error.
>Craftsmanship of door and doorknob was too great.
>Doorknob remains connected to door.
>Evaluating door.
>Removed from door frame.
>Bad? Yes.
>Searching foyer.
>No humanoid life forms detected.
>Entering stealth mode.
>Lowering body.
>132 degree angle at knee joints achieved.
>Engaging in sneaking.
>Exiting school.
>Updating mission: attend MLP meet up.
>Obstacle detected.
>Location of meet up unknown.
>Searching for means of information gathering.
>Results: cellphones, computers, Fluttershy
>This unit does not possess a cellphone.
>This unit does not possess a computer.
>This unit does not possess a Fluttershy.
>Searching for cellphones.
>None found.
>Searching for Fluttershy.
>Location unknown.
>Searching for computers.
>None found.
>Likely location for computers: within school.
>Running Foul Language program.
"Curses."
>Depositing 34 pennies onto broken door.
>Entering school.

File: 836859__safe_equestria+girls_meme_smiling_rainbow+rocks_grin_wide+eyes_sonata+dusk_reaction+image_faic.png (1MB, 900x600px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 900x600px

>>28889691
>This unit does not possess a Fluttershy.

>>28889691

>Searching memory files for large amounts of computers.
>Found: library.
>Planning route to library.
>Approaching library.
>Engaging in opening door.
>Alert.
>Human voices detected within library.
>Checking audio files for matching voices.
>1 found, 1 unknown.
>1 voice matches audio files of Celestia.
>Evaluating threat level.
>Cancelling evaluation.
>Determining risk-to-reward ratio of entering library with Celestia.
>Risk deemed unacceptable.
>Searching for alternate rooms with computers.
>None found.
>Selecting only option.
>Entering library.
>Closing door.
>Searching room for computers.
>38 found in west wing, 42 found in east wing, 4 dead ahead.
>Tracing audio waves back to Celestia's likely position.
>East wing.
>Selecting west wing computers.
>Entering stealth mode.
>Engaging in sneaking.
>Approaching west wing.
>Alert: audio levels drastically increasing.
>Lowering audio input.
>Searching for source of noise.
>Found: 2 meal detectors.
>"Luna, did you hear that?"
>"Let's go check it out."
>Chances of being found: 100%
>Entering Super Stealth mode.
>Locating small cabinet.
>Opening door.
>Removing books.
>Entering small cabinet.
>Closing door.
>Chances of being found: 0%
>"I think it came from over here."
>Increasing audio input.
>"Why'd the metal detectors go off?"
>"I don't know."
>"Hey, what are all those books doing on the floor?"
>Detecting grave mistake.
>"I think I have a hunch."
>Chances of being found gradually increasing.
>"Let's check...in HERE!"
>Detecting cabinet door adjacent to this unit being opened.
>Chances of being found: 99%
>"Huh. Nothing in here. I guess it was just my imagination."
>Calculating for stupidity.
>Chances of being found: 78%
>"Check the one next to it."
>Alert.
>Alert.
>Danger.
>Abort mission.
>Detecting swift door movement in this unit's cabinet.
>Chances of being found--
>"Anon?"
>100%

File: 1451714233857.jpg (68KB, 600x528px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 600x528px

>>28889649
>Estimated value: $0.34
>Amount exceeds this unit's funds.

Boop

>>28892943
beep

>>28893539
Bloop

>>28894138
Ping

>>28895124
Pong

>>28895702
clic

>>28895905
You k ow there are more ways to contribute to a thread than bumping in cheap robotic phrases, right?

>>28896015
Like more green?

Anon the Autistic Automaton

>>28896094
Is that all a thread is to you? Bumps and green?

File: 1477716517645.png (91KB, 247x248px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 247x248px

>>28896649
Summon drawfriend. Dubs for good, trips for amazing.

File: tmp_19812-Sketch29611343-1-1262628638.png (340KB, 1440x1270px) Image search: [Google]

340KB, 1440x1270px

>>28897721
Rolling

>>28897721
rolling

File: tmp_19812-1479023107601-1771114294.png (321KB, 480x545px) Image search: [Google]

321KB, 480x545px

>page 10

>>28899508
kek

File: tmp_19812-1479480595917795185398.png (163KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

163KB, 1000x1000px

Flumph

Green when

File: Twilight Fluttershy bump.jpg (174KB, 1250x900px) Image search: [Google]

174KB, 1250x900px

>>28901966
>She gets aggressively flirty after three-quarters of a beer

File: 1454097191813.jpg (70KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 960x720px

Hopefully Robo-Anon will survive his latest encounter

>>28897721
dingo

File: Purely asthetic.png (143KB, 827x480px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 827x480px

>>28903771
>that saber pic on the desktop
reminds me of pic related

File: seibah.jpg (17KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 500x281px

>>28904306
Every time I read saber now, I think of pic related.

>>28904315
don't you mean sebah anon?

tiny bump

>page 9

ffs lads I need more autism goddamnit.

>>28730615
>"Uhhmm... Anon?"
>"You know I kind like.. heard that you watch my little pony and ummm... you know, I-I really like it too!"
>"B-but I'm too embarrassed to tell my friends."
>"S-so I was wondering if we could watch it together, only i-if you don't mind"

>Be Anon
>You are a green sex machine that fucks every woman you see with your 20 inch dick
"..."
>"Anon? Are you ok?
"..."
>I mean, you are a fkn loser who can't talk with a girl
>Also, you have a small dick
>"Hum... I'm sorry if I'm a bother... I'm leaving now..."
SHE IS LEAVING FFS, PLS SAY SOMETHING
"How..."
>She is staring at you
>You are sweating bullets
"How did you know?"
>"I saw you once with a Bubbles brushable..."
>You play with girls toys on school grounds, that's why everyone evades you
"Bubbles is my waifu..."
>"Your waifu?"
>She looks puzzled
QUICK, SAY SOMETHING SMART
"The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell"
>Nailed it
>"Excuse me?"
>Maybe not

>>28906956
>Also your dick is small
If you make a lewd scene make it unsmall pls.

File: nfl.jpg (32KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 500x333px

>>28862613

>Locating student.
>Scanning facial features.
>Close match: potato
>Student likely retarded.

Green has been absent for two days.

>>28906956
I certainly hope you weren't just going to tease us with that and not continue.

>>28906956
>>28907550
>>28907942

"I love Bubbles..."
>"I like her too"
"BITCH I LOVE HER"
>You just yelled at her
>She looks scared
Remember your training sessions
Playing eroges...
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to talk to girls..."
>She is trembling
"I didn't mean it, I'm just a FUCKING waste of space"
>She looks at you concerned
>"I'm just... let's forget it, ok? Maybe we can discuss that other time?"
>She's an angel
"Ok..."
>"So..."
>She seems more calm
>"About My Little Pon-"
"I like MLP"
>She happilly gasps
>"Can we watch it together? I don't have anyone to talk to it..."
"Me neither... I'd love to..."
>"Is tomorrow ok with you?"
>You don't have social life, but you don't want to look like a REAL LOSER
"Let me check if I'm free..."
>You look at your mobile
>You wait like 5 secs
"I'm free"
>"Good to hear!"
>She smiles at you with an angelical face
>You blush
>"Can I text you then?"

>>28908098
Good stuff mate

>>28890541

>"Anon, what are you doing in a cupboard?"
>Formulating lie.
>"And don't lie to me."
>Evaluating intelligence of admitting this unit escaped detention and caused hundreds of dollars in damages to school property.
>Conclusion: not intelligent.
>Continuing to formulate lie.
>"Aren't you supposed to be in detention?"
"Negative."
>"Yes you are."
"Negative. I was released for exemplary behavior."
>"By Mr. Doodle?"
"Affirmative."
>"Anon, do you want to know why I know that's a lie?"
"Negative."
>"Get out of there."
"Negative."
>"Anon, don't play with me."
>Scanning for options.
>Option 1: Assault
>Option 2: Comply
>Balancing options.
>"Anonymous, we regret to inform thee that if ye shall not obey thy principal, a punishment most sever shall befall you."
>"Why do you do that?"
>"Doist what, my dear sister?"
>"That stupid voice. You know I hate it when you do that."
>"Come on, Tia. I'm just getting into character."
>"What character? We're two single sisters renting a studio apartment together who happen to run a high school. It's not King Sombra's Faire."
>"You're always like this. Can't I just be me?"
>"Be you? How is that you? Were you raised by Crusaders?"
>Detecting third option: Sneak away.
>Selecting option.
>Scanning sisters.
>Attention on this unit decreasing.
>70% attention on this unit.
>50%
>32%
>"You're the reason mother left us!"
>"You take that back!"
>"I never should have moved in with you!"
>"You came crawling, begging for me to let you in! I should have turned you away after what you did to our family!"
>"At least I didn't grow old alone!"
>"I am not old!"
>"Those wrinkles say otherwise!"
>Entering stealth mode.
>Escaping cabinet.
>Error.
>Path ahead of this unit is blocked by sisters.
>No other path detected.
>Solution: create path.
>Locating weak spot in wall.
>Applying pressure.
>Detected: hole in wall of back of cabinet.
>Exiting cabinet.
>Entering hallway.
>Departing.

>>28908894

>Searching for other rooms likely to possess computers.
>"ANON!"
>Detecting raised voices.
>"YOU GET BACK HERE!"
>Ignoring order.
>Increasing speed.
>Operating rear view cameras.
>Error.
>This unit does not come with rear view cameras.
>Rotating head 180 degrees results in catastrophic skin shearing.
>Evaluating safety of running backwards: 100%
>Turning around.
>Backwards running successful.
>Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna in view.
>"I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU DETENTION SO HARD YOUR KIDS WILL FEEL IT!"
>Evaluating severity of threat.
>Very severe.
>Celestia's threat level set to 3.
>Level accurate.
>Checking map.
>Calculating distance run.
>Right turn approaching in 30 feet.
>Turning.
>Turn successful.
>En route to Tech Ed class.
>Likeliness of computers within classroom: 94%
>Celestia and Luna reentering vision.
>"Thy wicked attempts to disrupt the bond which doth bind us as sisters hath failed, foul student!"
>Pulling files on previous actions.
>Scanning for malicious dismemberment of family.
>None found.
"You are incorrect in your assessment of the events that transpired in the library."
>"Dost thou callst me a liar!"
"Negative. Please refrain from putting words into my audio port."

>>28908977
>>28908894
Too good

>>28908977

>Checking map.
>Calculated distance run since last turn.
>Left turn approaching in 40 feet.
>"ANON, WATCH OUT!"
"The turn is not available for another 25 feet."
>"BEHIND YOU!"
>Detecting collision.
>Force absorbed by soft object.
>"Oh god, my leg!"
>Balance systems detecting fall.
>Fall softened by previous soft object.
>"Oh my god! Oh, the pain!"
>Standing.
>Scanning soft object.
>Result: Scruffy.
>"Oh Lord, I see a white light. I'm coming, Chris."
>"ANON, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE JUST KILLED MY ONLY JANITOR!"
>Scanning Scruffy.
>"Tell my wife I loved her. And tell her boyfriend I never liked his shoes."
>Conclusion: alive on the outside.
>Suggestion action: affirm life to Celestia.
>Deploying thumbs up.
>"This is it...this is the end..."
>Registering cough.
>Cough has produced blood.
>"Done in by a 600 pound autist...just like pa always said..."
"1234 pounds."
>"Jesus, embrace me..."
>Scanning Scruffy.
>Reevaluating action.
>Deploying thumbs down.
>Alert: Celestia and Luna have caught up.
>Escape failed.
>"God damn it. Now I have to hire a new janitor."
>"I'm going to miss Scruffy. He did everything for free."

>>28909062
RIP Scruffy
>Tell my wife I loved her. And tell her boyfriend I never liked his shoes
Kuk

>>28909062

>Suggested responses: offer condolences, eliminate Celestia
>Selecting response. Eliminate Celestia.
>Reselecting response. Offer condolences.
"I am sorry for your loss."
>"Are you really?"
"Negative. I do not understand loss."
>"Wherefore art thou such a rabble rouser, Anonymous? Were it not for thy attire, I would assume thee to be a bastard on manners alone."
>"I'll tell you why, Luna. I'll tell you why he's been causing trouble all day, asking me such ludicrous questions, and trying to sneak out of punishment."
>Curiosity rising.
>"He's a dirty, filthy jew."
"Negative."
>"Oh yeah. It took some time, but I found you out."
>Scanning systems.
>Jewish? No.
"Negative."
>"Why, I bet your parents are the jewiest of jews."
>Detecting signs of aggression.
>Raising Celestia's threat level to 100.
>Error.
>Raising Celestia's threat level to 5.
>"Nay, Tia. I think not he beist a jew. Look upon his face. Dost thou see the same nose as I? It lacks such foul curvature as that of a jew."
>"You don't know jews like I do, Luna."
>"Tis true. Forgive me, dear sister."
"Celestia, please eliminate my--please answer my previous question."
>"Which question? Am I Celestius?"
"Affirmative."
>"Alright, fine. I'll give you a straight answer...as soon as we find out which bank you belong to! Let's see that brand, jew!"
>Detecting quick motion.
>Shirt tearing.
>Naked flesh of upper body revealed.
>"O dearest Lord above, have mercy on his soul!"
>"What the hell happened to your chest?"
"It is merely a scratch I received in the fall."

>>28909127
>tis merely a scratch
Missed an opportunity there buddy
>I suffered worse

File: horse.jpg (19KB, 340x340px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 340x340px

>>28909127
incredible green thusforth, more my good sir

File: 1438161664033.jpg (43KB, 620x670px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 620x670px

>>28908977
>Please refrain from putting words into my audio port.

my sides
i need them

File: 1476990848826s.jpg (2KB, 125x91px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 125x91px

What in the ever living, cock sucking, mother fucking, fuckity dog shit of a son is a robit?

File: Robit_Screenshot.png (287KB, 761x282px) Image search: [Google]

287KB, 761x282px

>>28909684
a robit

>>28909711
Bump

>>28908098
>>28908845
ty

>You exchange contact info with her
>She seems happy
SHE WANTS THE D
"Do you want me to bring co-?"
>You bit your thounge
>Fluttershy looks at you very concerned
>"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'hm jhust a moghon..."
>She pats your head
>"There there, you need some water"
>She took her backpack and searched a bottle of water inside of it
>She offers it
>Bright and tender smile
"Damn... I love 3D girls..."
>"Yes?"
You just thinked that?
"It seems you said that out loud...."
>"Are you okay?"
Please slap me
"Please slap me"
>She doesn't think it so much since you looked like hurt and slapped you with all her might
>"ah!"
>It doesn't hurt at all
>It's like a caress
"Thank you..."
>You recover yourself up and tried to smile at her
FUCK I'M SMILING IN THE WORST WAY EVER
>"Here, water"
>You take the water bottle
>Gulp a few down
>Stoped, and just sighed
"Thanks a lot"

>>28911485
>you will never find a girl who tolerates your crippling autism

>>28912886
I love how she's smiling when she says that

>>28909127
>Celestia will never rip off your shirt and demand to see your body

>>28912964
>she's actually having fun
>it's that every other date she's ever been on was above and beyond fun

File: nd.jpg (7KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 300x168px

ay man jus gon bum dis shiznit f am iz good green shit tb h yo

Nine ain't fine

>>28911485
>>28912068

>"You're welcome"
>She's happy now
>"I gotta go now, class is starting soon, I'll text you! Goodbye!"
>You wave at her
>She leaves smiling
You like her?
"Who?"
>You start a 'self talk' while walking in opposite direction of Fluttershy
Fluttershy?
"She smells nice"
What about Bubbles?
"What bubbles?"
Your waifu man...
"Bubbles is my waifu"
And Fluttershy?
"Fuck you brain, stop confusing me"
>There are people looking at you, whispering
>You took the Bubbles brushable
"Can I watch MLP with Fluttershy my love?
>You make another voice
'OF COURSE NOT, YOU BELONG TO ME BITCH!'
"But Bubbly-wubby..."
'STOP TALKING LIKE A FUCKING RETARD!'
>There is a group of girls staring at you
"You know what? I never go out, I always stay at home with you, I think I deserve some fun time"
'You have fun time with me at home you perv~'
>You blush
"Please babe, I wont cheat on you, I love you"
'... I don't believe you...'
"Come on, don't be like that!"
>You french kiss the brushable
"I love you babe"
'Ok ok, go and have fun... but if you cheat on me, YOU-ARE-DEAD!'
"Thanks Bubb~"
>"Hey, watch out!"
>You look up at the same time your face crashes with a locker

>>28917243
>schizo anon
Is he going to end up wearing her skin?

>>28918668
Did that make it on TV?

File: tmp_19812-1476630373090-973530368.png (998KB, 1280x738px) Image search: [Google]

998KB, 1280x738px

>>28919376
Why wouldn't it? Is just a naked middle school girl.

Gay

>>28909127

>"A scratch? Nay, tis a mighty wound thou hast suffered."
"Negative."
>"Truthfully?"
"Correct."
>"Ah, well, my sister, it would seem tis but a scratch. Let us leave this student."
>"Luna, don't be stupid."
>"But, Tia, the boy hath stated that he speaks the truth."
>"I can fit my fucking hand in there. Look at this."
"Do not insert your hand into my chest cavity."
>Celestia threat level 300. Eliminate.
>Correcting: Celestia threat level 100
>1000
>Forcing threat level to 6.
>Engaging in evasive maneuvers.
>Retreating 2 feet.
>"Don't run from me."
"You are making a big mistake."
>"Am I?"
>Scanning Luna.
>Skull density: 100%
>Head fit for bludgeoning Celestia.
"Leave me alone."
>"Why? Huh? So you can run off to your banker friends?"
"So I can go to the MLP convention."
>Celestia closing distance.
>Retreating.
>Celestia closing distance.
>Retreating.
>"Another jewish lie. Let me tell you something, buster. I don't approve of your kind coming into my school and disturbing my students."
>Tracing finger.
>Chest poking detected.
>"I think I have just the place for you, and it sure isn't a convention."
>Eliminate.
>Abort.
>Eliminate.
>Abort.
>Eliminate.
>Acquiring neck.
>Increasing force to 70 pounds.
>"Unhand my sister, fiend!"
>Increasing force to 160 pounds.
>Choking achieved.
>Abort.
>Eliminate.
>Time estimated to eliminate Celestia: 1.3 seconds
>1.3 seconds removed from mission.
>Mission priority: high
>Celestia's priority: low
>High.
>Low.
>Do not waste mission time.
>Eliminate Celestia.
>Scanning Celestia.
>Fear detected.
"Leave me alone."
>Reducing force to 0 pounds.
>Unhanding Celestia.
>"Jesus! What the fuck!"
>"Tia!"
>Acquiring shirt.
"I require a computer. Do not follow me."
>Departing.

>>28921322
Damn

>>28921322
shit man
more

>>28921322
>mechanon just attempted murder
i like it

>>28918668
Sauce?

>>28921682
It's called Lizzy

Good night

>>28921647
Didn't he just killed scruffy ?

>>28843511
Yeah, I don't get what you're talking about here
this is just a regular guy

>>28841051

>>28917243
>>28917826

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"
>You drop the brushable and the water bottle while hiding your face with your hands
>"Are you okay?"
"NO I'M NOT! FUCK!"
>"Hum... here, use this"
>You feel something cold
>You look up and encounter the captain of every sports team on Canterlot High, Rainbowdash
"Thanks"
>"It's a cooling pack, no need to give it back, those are disposable"
What the fuck with all the 3D girls today?
>"Oh man... you are bleeding, here..."
>She gently put a wipe on your nose
>"Come on, press it"
>You press the wipe and look at her with bot your hands full
>She giggles
>"You really need to look up while walking man"
>You just blush and laugh awkwardly
>Rainbowdash picks up your water bottle and notices the Bubble brushable next to it
"That's m--"
>"Yeah, I know"
>She picks it up and inspects it
>"You are a popular one, you knew that?"
"Yeah right..."
>"I'm serious, I mean, you are the only guy around here who has the balls to play with toys at--"
"TOYS? BUBBLES IS MY WAIFU!"
>Rainbowdash raises an eyebrow and looks at you with a bored face
>"Is yelling at everything fun?"
"YOU JUST CALLED MY WAIFU A TOY!"

I will be back

>>28923320
it's different when they survive

>>28923320
Well Scruffy was an accident.

>>28926988

Your an accident.

File: unamused twiggles.png (465KB, 542x525px) Image search: [Google]

465KB, 542x525px

>>28927106
Well excuse you.

>>28924653
>someone takes bubbles
"Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?"
*Hip to be square starts playing*

Kim bo.

Limped dick peasant

>>28924653
>>28927894

>She smirks
>"And what are you gonna do?"
"BITCH IMMA FUCK YOUR SKULL!"
>She laughs
>"You really have balls man, nobody talks me back like that... here, take it"
>She gives your waifu back
>You just look at her angry
>"Ok, I'm sorry for calling your 'waifu' a toy"
>Rolleyes
"..."
>"Really sorry"
"Thanks..."
>"Cool"
>The bell rings
>She gasps
>"I gotta go Anon, see you around!"
>She tosses the water bottle at you, waves her hand and runs off
"She knew my name?"
Fluttershy also knew it... It seems you are a very known big ass clown who plays with toys
"IT'S NOT A TOY YOU STUPID CUNT!"
Yeah, wathever
"I swear, if MLP gets cancelled some day, you will eat a big juicy bullet"
Shut up you pussy, you know you never gonna do that
"...Yeah..."
'You want to fuck that bitch too?'
>You look at Bubbles
"Come on babe, don't be mad"
'Forget about sexy time today'
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE!"
'Don't baaaaabe me! Nobody looks at you, I was the only one to be by your side'
"I know that, just don't--"
'I want a divorce'
>You feel something vibrating on your pocket
>It's a text from Fluttershy
>You toss the water bottle on a trash can
>>"I was wondering if you want to have lunch with me today and talk about MLP"
>You read that like twenty times and look back at bubbles
"3D girls best waifus"
'I SWEAR I'M GONNA KILL Y--!'
>You quickly put Bubbles on your backpack

>>28929629
RIP Anon,
Murdered himself in a fit of jealousy

>>28921322

>Approaching library.
>Entering library.
>Acquiring computer.
>Obstacle detected: login screen.
>Searching data banks for student login information.
>No data found.
>Suggested response: engage in friendly conversation.
"01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111"
>Awaiting response.
>Awaiting response.
>Awaiting response.
>Timer has run out.
>Seeking alternate route.
>Opening student assignment book.
>Locating login info.
>Name: FlashBash111
>Password: mommyfeet
>Entering information into computer.
>Login successful.
>Opening Doogle Bhrome.
>Searching for MLP conventions.
>6,987,989 results.
>Narrowing locations to Canterlot.
>764 results.
>Opening first link.
>[Come on down to Canterlot for the hottest convention in town! We have ponies everywhere! Fuckin ponies man! XD So yeah, tickets are only $300 per head (get it? head?) but don't let the cost scare you because we've got HELLA treats. Moon pie shaped like Princess Lulu's beautiful moon flank, we've got cosplay shops, and man we even got MOMMA FAUST to come by. Shit is going to be so cash so come on down to 1800 Canterborough St at 6:00 tonight! /)]
>Location and time acquired.
>Shutting down computer.
>Exiting library.

>>28931487

>Searching for route to 1800 Canterborough St.
>Route found.
>Estimated time of arrival via foot: 32 minutes.
>Checking internal clocks.
>Current time is 5:48 PM.
>Estimated time by car: 13 minutes.
>Searching for vehicle.
>5 found.
>Approaching vehicles.
>Scanning.
>Camaro, top speed 184 MPH, red candy stripes, police attractant.
>Dodge Ram, top speed 104 MPH, indestructible, large and unwieldy.
>Lexus, top speed irrelevant, vehicle irrelevant.
>Honda Civic, top speed 130 MPH, handles well, invisible to police.
>1990 Harley Davidson Fat Boy, top speed 92 MPH, S-class maneuverability.
>Acquiring motorcycle.
>Searching for keys.
>None found.
>Searching for knife.
>1 found.
>Acquiring knife.
>Removing skin from finger.
>Removing grip cap from digit.
>Located several wires.
>Connecting wires to battery.
>Selecting voltage.
>Delivering charge.
>Motorcycle on? Yes.
>Searching for glove.
>Found: 1 leather pair.
>Donning gloves.
>Fingers successfully hidden.
>En route to convention.

>>28931549

>Alert traffic ahead.
>Estimating line length: 3 miles.
>Changing lanes to the dotted line.
>No traffic ahead.
>Detecting several honks.
>Honks indicate unrest and anger.
>Selecting response.
>Deploying middle finger.
>Maintaining middle finger.
>Increasing speed to 92 MPH.
>Approaching red light.
>Detecting cars from opposing intersection.
>Scanning traffic patterns.
>Algorithm for movement of cars created.
>Entering intersection.
>"GET OFF THE ROAD, ASSHOLE!"
>"HEY, WATCH IT!"
>"YOU GOT A RED, YOU STUPID CUNT!"
>"WOAH, I'M DRIVING HERE!"
>Intersection successfully cleared.
>Approaching 1800 Canterborough St.
>Searching for parking.
>None found.
>Selecting parking space.
>Dismounting motorcycle.
>Acquiring car's front bumper.
>Removing car from space.
>Pushing car into road.
>Inserting motorcycle into vacant parking space.
>Parking successful.
>En route to main entrance.
>Line detected.
>Checking clocks: 5:59
>Estimated wait time in line: 34 minutes
>Line deemed waste of time.
>Scanning other waiters.
>Searching for testosterone.
>None found.
>Chances of being accosted for cutting in line: 2%
>Engaging in cutting.
>Approaching front of line.
>Evaluating bouncer.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Medium.
>"Tickets?"
"I have to tickets."
>"Well do you have money to spot one?"
"Negative."
>"Sorry man, I can't let you in."
>Entering building.
>"Hey, I said I can't let you in."
>Detecting hand on shoulder.
"Unhand me or there will be violence."
>"I can't let you in, man. All these other dudes have tickets. You have to leave until you can get one of your own."
"Wrong."
>Acquiring bouncer's head.
>Locating wall.
>Scanning materials. Brick.
>Inserting bouncer's head into wall.
>Scanning scene.
>Modern art created.
>Estimated value: $3,937,497
>Entering building.

>>28931609
>>Modern art created.
>>Estimated value: $3,937,497
>>Entering building.
this is the single greatest thing i've ever read.

>>28931609
Honk

>>28931609
>>Modern art created.
kek

>>28931609
first time that a green made me laugh and not just blow air through my nose, good job

Where is duke anon?

>>28931609
> Just casually killed a guy
Anon-Tron is one militant MLP fan

>>28934753
Do you mean the story where Anon was a Lord and played with the ponies like chess pieces? That was finished http://pastebin.com/CzAxmMzp

File: huhwha.png (80KB, 532x470px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 532x470px

>>28935907
Holy shit.

>>28935907
Thanks. Now I'm going to spend the next 24 hours of my life laying in bed contemplating immortality and the finality of our pathetic existence.

Any more stories like this one?

>>28937696
Don't spend too much time contemplating the end. You have to get working on a legacy.

>>28937777
those numbers don't lie.

>>28938628
What if the green us actually a life lesson? Go get life before life gets you. Even if you're aging faster than you can handle, you can still make an impact on the world if you apply yourself. Any time you find yourself in a new place, your disadvantages can eventually become your strength.

File: mosby.jpg (32KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 500x500px

>>28935907
Whoever wrote this is a master author, he could write books with that attitude.

>>28931487
> "01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111"
he actually did it
I love it when the author goes out of the way to get such a minute detail correct!

>>28939357
Aw shucks, Anon. You're just trying to butter me up. I'm glad you like it though.

Bump for robotic justice

>>28939357
It's the same guy who's writing Mechanon in this thread.

>>28940640
>>28942465

Well shit. If you haven't already gotten a degree, you should consider getting it in literature.

p.13 bump

>>28931609

>Searching for maps on convention hall.
>None found.
>Locating information well.
>Detected 6676 potential wells.
>Approaching human.
>Detecting wings.
>Revising statement.
>Approaching 87% of a human.
>"H-hey brony! Pony up!"
"I have questions that you will answer."
>Detecting shyness.
>"I d-don't usually talk to strangers."
>Suggested action: engage in soothing interaction.
>Deploying reassuring shoulder pat.
"It is ok, son. I am here now. We are friends."
>"S-son? I never really knew my dad."
"Where is Lauren?"
>"You mean Momma Faust?"
"Affirmative."
>"She's way in the b-back, at the stage. They're getting ready for the Q&A in 10 minutes. H-hey, maybe we can go together."
"Goodbye."
>"Dad?"
>Departing.
>Selecting route for "back".
>Route found. Dead ahead.
>Stage detected past thick crowd.
>En route to stage.
>Encountering several obstacles.
"Please move."
>Raising arms.
>Removing obstacles.
>"Hey dude, careful!"
>"DON'T TOUCH ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>"My cosplay! Dude this took weeks to make!"
>Detecting shoulder grab.
>Analyzing human.
>"You just tore my Princess Lulu costume! Now it's half ruined. You have to fix this."
>Acquiring costume.
>Separating costume into individual strips of fabric.
"Now it is all ruined. I fixed it. Your thanks are unnecessary."
>Returning to walking.
>"MY COSPLAY!"
>"Holy shit, that dude's naked!"

>>28944141

>Approaching end of convention hall.
>Stage within 30 feet.
>Scanning stage.
>6 people detected.
>Scanning for red hair.
>Spotted 5.
>Deploying angry grunt.
>Ascending stairs to stage.
>Approaching red haired woman.
"Excuse me."
>"Word up. I'm Carl."
>Revising statement.
>Approaching red haired lady boy.
"I need to find Momma Faust."
>"You need a ticket then. Only ticket holders with Backstage passes can see her."
>Detecting obstacle.
>Compiling list of obstacles from today.
>Evaluating list.
>List deemed absurdly long.
>Searching files for patience.
>None found. Patience depleted.
"Direct me to Momma Faust."
>"You got a pass?"
"Allow me to rephrase that."
>Acquiring lady boy's neck.
>Increasing force.
>Closing distance to lady boy's face.
"Direct me to Momma Faust. Now."
>Detecting lady boy's finger.
>Tracing direction.
>Found: red haired person.
>Analyzing breast size.
>Cross referencing with hip-to-waist ratio.
>Chances of being woman: 99%
>Releasing lady boy.
>Approaching Momma Faust.
"Hello."
>"Hm?"
"Hello."
>"Oh, hi. Can I help you?"
"Yes. I would like to--"
>Registering clapping.
>Scanning clapping.
>Metallic undertones detected.
>Scanning stage for source of clapping.
>Found: Anonymous Model 2
>>"Look who made it to the show."

>>28944219
IT BEGINS

>>28944219

>Searching files for anti-jew protocols.
>Alert: No anti-jew protocols have been formulated.
>"Is he with you, buddy?"
"No."
>>"Now now, don't be so cold. We are together in one sense of the word."
>"Oh, I'm happy for you two."
>Searching files for anti-Anonymous Model 2 protocols.
>None found.
>>"Not like that. What I meant was that we're both here to...oh, I shouldn't waste the time explaining it. I'll let the boss take care of that."
>Searching for anti-anything measures.
>Found 1
>Hit it really hard.
>Engaging.
>Approaching Anonymous Model 2.
>>"You up for another round?"
>Acquiring Anonymous Model 2.
>>"Not so fast!"
>Balance systems detecting awkward movement.
>Unit has separated from the floor.
>>"Why don't you take a seat?"
>Collision course set: wall.
>"Oh my god!"
>>"Anonymous, dude, you shouldn't go breaking walls like that. Now you're all dusty. Here, let me help."
>Searching inner wall for weapons.
>Found water pipe
>Removing pipe from system.
>Engaging in bludgeoning.
>>"Ow! Hey, watch it with that! Give me that thing."
>Pipe lost.
>>"Let me show you a real back hand. Batter up!"
>Detecting immense force to cranial container.
>>"Shit, I thought that one would put you through the wall. Let's try again."
>Removing self from wall.
>>"Hey batter batter batter SWING!"
>Raising arm.
>Pipe successfully blocked.
>Scanning Anonymous Model 2's form.
>Chest area open.
>Likely spot for power source, chest.
>Forcing hand into Anonymous Model 2's chest.
>Error.
>Anonymous Model 2's chest material is of higher quality than this unit.
>Chest not successfully punctured.
>>"Tough luck."
>Scanning Anonymous Model 2 for other openings.
>Located arm.
>Alert: Anonymous Model 2's arm has been replaced with a taser.
>Retreating.
>Error.
>Unit has reentered wall.
>No retreat options available.
>>"Hey, want to hear a bad joke?"
>Taser approaching.
>Blocking arm.
>>"The PUNCH line will really shock you!"
>Detecting force applied to unit's chest area.

>>28944297

>Scanning chest for damage.
>Found Anonymous Model 2's hand.
>>"Now let's see if I remember where your power source is."
>Alert.
>Extreme danger.
>Placing hands on Anonymous Model 2's chest.
>Extending arms with maximum force.
>Distance between this unit and Anonymous Model 2 increasing drastically.
>Anonymous Model 2 has reached a safe distance from the stage.
>Locating Momma Faust.
>Momma Faust found shivering in corner of stage.
>Approaching.
>"Stay away from me!"
>Extending arm.
"Come with me if you wish to continue living functions."
>"What the fuck is going on here?!"
>>>"AN EXCELLENT QUESTION, MY DEAR FAUST! I HAD 2 UNITS ON THIS CASE, YET YOU STILL BREATHE!"
>Searching for source of voice.
>>"And now, for a message from our sponsors!"
>Anonymous Model 2 found 15 feet away beside elderly man.
>Scanning facial features.
>Elderly man's nose encompasses 53% of space on face.
>>>"OOOOOOOY VEEEEEEEY!"

File: kekek.jpg (12KB, 299x168px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 299x168px

>>28944327
>Scanning facial features.
>Elderly man's nose encompasses 53% of space on face.
>>>"OOOOOOOY VEEEEEEEY!"

File: tmp_16076-1477754696686982308288.jpg (327KB, 1440x1270px) Image search: [Google]

327KB, 1440x1270px

>>28944141
>Defacing Lulu
COOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOO

>>28944415

Boop

>>28946765
bup

Bump for green

>>28947427
beep

File: AAAAAAAAAMENOOOO.jpg (12KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 480x360px

>>28944327
>>>>"OOOOOOOY VEEEEEEEY!"

p.12 bump

page 85 bump

File: tmp_1780-1480064097471-1407688061.png (2MB, 2828x2000px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2828x2000px

>page ten

>>28952509
I bet the jews did this

File: By the Emperor.jpg (286KB, 700x1690px) Image search: [Google]

286KB, 700x1690px

>>28935907
>http://pastebin.com/CzAxmMzp
holy fuck that story is fucking GOLDEN

File: tmp_1780-Lasers & Feelings1837038198.png (454KB, 1135x863px) Image search: [Google]

454KB, 1135x863px

>>28954708

>>28944327

>Jew detected.
>Jews pose enormous threat to mission.
>Priority: protect Momma Faust from the jews.
>Engaging in crouching.
>Deploying hug.
>"F-fuck, let go of me!"
"Negative. This is for your own good."
>"W-what's leaking on me? Is that motor oil?"
"Likely."
>>>"Anonymous, you fool! You've had how long to dispense with these targets, yet here you are playing with them like some little whole-dick goy!"
>>"I told him, Mr. Goldbergstein. I told him about the mission."
>>>"And you! AM2, I had better hopes for you! Oy vey, you couldn't even beat him on the stage. You're just a bunch of wasted sheckles!"
>"What the fuck is going on?"
"Shhh, Momma Faust. I will protect you."
>"I just want to go home."
"Home is where the heart is. Your heart is encased in a skeletal prison within your chest cavity. Therefore, you are always home."
>>>"Oy vey! It looks like I'll have to do this myself...by getting other people to do it for me!"
>"Oh fuck, what's he going to do?"
"He will attempt to eliminate you."
>"E-eliminate?"
"Cease your living."
>"No! I'm still writing season 9! I can't die! Y-you...you have to protect me."
>Detecting back door breach.
>Chance of virus: 3%
>Isolating program.
>Isolation override.
>>>"Silly goy. You think you can lock me out of my own system?"
>File 34 forced opening.
>Scanning folders.
>Folder KOSHER forced unzipping.
>>>"Go, my beast of burden! Eliminate that pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty goy, goy!"
>Running KOSHER program.
>Evaluating Momma Faust.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Very low.
>Threat level 100. Eliminate with prejudice.

>>28956327
Quick, call Celestia

>>28956327

>Acquiring Momma Faust.
>Standing.
>"W-what are you doing?"
"Oy vey."
>Locating hard surface.
>Found question table in center of stage.
>Setting trajectory.
>Launching Momma Faust into table.
>Maximum damage achieved.
>Detecting screams from crowd.
>>>"Shut up, goyims! We're doing magic here! AM2, deal with these nuisances."
>>"You got it, boss man. I love me a good Holocaust."
>"RUN! HE'S GOT A FLAMETHROWER!"
>"OH, THE HUMANITY!"
>Scanning Momma Faust for life.
>Heartbeat detected.
>"Ow...m-my womb."
>Approaching Momma Faust.
>"No. S-stay away from me."
>Detecting escape attempts.
>Distance closed.
>Acquiring Momma Faust's ankle.
>Suggested action: eliminate chance of escape.
>Increasing force to 600 pounds.
>Ankle successfully broken.
>Chance of Momma Faust escaping: 0%
>"Ahh! Stop! Stop it! Oh god, someone help me!"
"Cease your meaningless cries. Chances of help arriving rest at 0%."
>Eliminate Momma Faust.
>Mission: Eliminate MLP.

>>28956461

>Eliminate MLP.
>Eliminating MLP defeats becoming MLP.
>Irrelevant.
>Searching wreckage of oak table for weapon.
>Found wooden leg.
>Acquiring leg.
>Engaging in bludgeoning.
>"Stop!"
"No."
>"Stop! Please!"
"Stop living."
>"Think of season 9!"
>Running thinking program.
>Thinking program conflicts with KOSHER program.
>Closing thinking program.
>Continuing with eliminating MLP.
>Continuing with eliminating mission.
>Error.
>Mission is eliminating MLP.
>Mission is becoming MLP.
>Eliminate MLP.
>"ANONYMOUS, STOP!"
>>>"OY VEY, IT'S HER!"
>Registering request.
>Checking audio files.
>Request matches files with Celestia's voice.
>"Help me, please!"
>"ANON, PUT THAT LEG DOWN!"
>Turning attention from Momma Faust.
>Scanning convention hall for Celestia.
>Celestia located 30 feet from Anonymous Model 2 and Mr. Goldbergstein.
>Celestia threat level 100.