Suddenly, Shining Armor is next to you. What do?

Suddenly, a shit thread

uat do

>>28802797
"Hey Shining?"
>"Yeah?"
"How's your wife's daughter doing?"

rape

Hug him

Fondle his heavy, smooth balls.

>>28802797
Smack his ass.

>>28802797
"I got smash brothers"
>"Which one?"
"Brawl minus."
>"What?"

File: 1473458300466.jpg (22KB, 321x396px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 321x396px

>>28802821
Woah bro, don't you know that shiny has ass cancer? You never hit a bro on the ass if he's got ass cancer. Low blow man.

File: IMG_2656.jpg (197KB, 1338x914px) Image search: [Google]

197KB, 1338x914px

Make him wear makeup.
With lots of lip gloss.

>>28802797
Ask if I can see his penis.

Tell him it's for medical reasons.

Crawl down his urethra and become Flurry Heart once he finally decides to bang his wife.

File: Naamloos-2.png (138KB, 350x350px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 350x350px

>>28802909
This cock vore shit is for weenies .

File: anon x shi.png (1MB, 1363x1689px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1363x1689px

>>28802797
This.

>>28802957
This for sure.

File: gleaming_shield_by_emkay_mlp-d7zszam.png (230KB, 781x1022px) Image search: [Google]

230KB, 781x1022px

turn him into a girl

>>28802797
Have some bomb ass tea with him.

>>28802797
''S'up?''

>>28803258
Thats gay man, next thing you gonna tell me is that you want to be a pretty mare.

File: 1477923159298.gif (543KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

543KB, 480x480px

>>28802797
I reminf him there is a skellington inside him.

File: 1477781662010.gif (196KB, 331x512px) Image search: [Google]

196KB, 331x512px

>>28803282

File: SU2DeluxeBraeburned2.png (4MB, 3400x4400px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 3400x4400px

Read comics together.

File: ak.png (71KB, 768x305px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 768x305px

>>28803288
This shit-stupid edit makes me laugh every time.

File: 1407489230802.jpg (47KB, 500x441px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 500x441px

>>28802811

>>28803283
Why, you don't think I'd make a pretty mare?

>>28803332
Why sip when you can succ

>>28802797
Tell him how much I want to fuck his little sister.

>>28802797
Take him gay bath house in China.

>>28803361
He would slap you for having shit taste.

File: ar.png (207KB, 1280x1500px) Image search: [Google]

207KB, 1280x1500px

>>28803587
Judging from your chink grammar, it doesn't surprise me.

D- Daddy... you finally came.
>weap tears of joy and begin our life together

>>28803293
oh my

fuck im in the arse

>>28802797
"Dude you got my letter?"
>"Yeah and I see your nipples haven't turned into flesh ripping snakes like you described."
"I'm sorry man I just needed to talk to you in peeerrsss-pony, in pony"
>"Well, I'm free for rest of the week now since I need to charge magic to get back. What do you need?"
"I'm having girl trouble" you mumble.
>"You need to talk to girls to have girl trouble Anon."
"I have talked to her, but she doesn't really-"
>"know you exist?" Shining interupts.
"Yeah"
>"Well then, being the Dapper stallion prince of love that I am, I'll lend you a hoof."
"Really?"
>"I don't have shit else to do here now do I Anon?"
>True
>"Think of this as that movie Hitch we saw. I'm will smith and your uh, well."
"I'll admit it" you concede. "I am Kevin James in this case."
>Hitch Kevin was acceptable, before he sold his soul to Adam Sandler.

>>28802797
Do something gay that a homosexual would do, like start hitting on him

Shining Armor gets extremely uncomfortable and nervous, finds an excuse to go somewhere else

He never looks me in the eye or talks to me again

File: huhwha.png (80KB, 532x470px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 532x470px

>>28803910
>something gay that a homosexual would do

>>28802797
Hope the Pinkieshining anon comes back

File: 1465474143974.jpg (62KB, 470x404px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 470x404px

>>28803910
>>28804119
>you put a bit in the jukebox and select The Weathermares 'It's raining stallions'
>doing your best west side story sashay, you 5, 6, 7, 8 it over to shiny
>"Mmm, I love a stallion in uniform. You wanna show me some CQC, huh soldier?"
>he gets extremely uncomfortable and nervous, finds an excuse to go somewhere else
>he never looks you in the eye or talks to you again

>>28802797
Everything in this
http://pastebin.com/iYuenVP7

>>28803341
Relatively speaking, you'd make a very pretty mare anon

>>28803293
How many pages does this go before they fuck?

>>28804953
First see Shining's cock on page 6. All downhill from there.

>>28802797
I'd pin him to the floor, start stroking his cock out of it's sheath, then ask him what happened to his balls as I play with the empty sack like silly putty.

File: fucking_what.jpg (35KB, 512x486px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 512x486px

>>28804984

>>28803258
Wat r u a faggot?

File: 1462079243884.jpg (59KB, 540x800px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 540x800px

Start jerking off next to him to activate my crystal

>>28805341
Careful, if you ask too much about this someone will post The Image, which is always a party-ender. Suffice it to say, Cadance is satisfied with one foal.

File: sam smirk.gif (999KB, 500x300px) Image search: [Google]

999KB, 500x300px

>>28805407
>it's called 'The Image' now

>>28804984
>ask him what happened to his balls
>deliberately making Shining cry
You monster.

>>28804981
Honestly I could have enjoyed him shipped with almost anyone else but Spike. Naturally, a whole Spike comic gets made. FML.

>>28806136
Don't worry, I'll still be his backdoor lover.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwykvrwvWW4

File: ShineIWTCI.jpg (31KB, 701x374px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 701x374px

>>28806735
It's funny, when they set out to create the characters, Shining and Cadance turned out to be such desirable waifu/horsebandu material. Hell I'd take Shining with me everywhere.

People hated how they got dropped on everybody so suddenly, but they're the sort that grow on you.

>>28806776
I still hate both.
Good porn doesn't always fix everything.

>>28802797
Probably freak out, punch him in the throat and/or accidentally gore my self on his horn.

File: 1477801369756.gif (2MB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 320x240px

Play with his horn like a door stop.

>>28802797
Ask if I can fuck his wife

File: hEllO.png (56KB, 170x195px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 170x195px

>Poof
>A Shining Armor is now next to you as you lounge on the couch with your laptop
>You glance over to confirm that it's a Shining Armor
>Yep
>That's a Shining Armor
>OK then
>He blinks a few times in shock
>"...The heck happened?"
>He swivels his head and looks around
>"Where the heck am I?"
>You close out of any tabs in your browser you wouldn't want strangers to see
>The noise draws his attention
>"...What the heck are you?"
"In reverse order: a human, my living room, and I have no idea."
>He stares into the distance around you for an awkward half-minute
"Uhh... unicorn dude? You okay?"
>"This is all incredibly strange and I think I want to panic."
"It's probably best for everyone if you don't."
>"I still want to."
"I can help you with that."
>You reach a hand over towards him
>Once he realizes that he's what you're reaching for, he flinches away and puts up a hoof to stop you
>"D-Declare your intentions!"
>Seems like he's falling back on his training
>In terms of panicking, he's halfway there WHOOOOA-OH, LIVING ON A PRAYER
"Light physical contact between and behind your ears for the purpose of calming down a twitchy unicorn."
>He narrows his eyes and glares at you for a moment, then lowers his hoof
>"Alright, but don't try anything funny. I'll have you know that I-"
"Full access to the arsenal of wherever, lots of confirmed victories against whoever, best soldier ever. Yeah, yeah, I know that speech."
>You reach behind his head and start scratching before he can reply
>A dopey smile immediately plasters itself across his face
>Seconds later, his legs give out
>It takes him several minutes to gather the concentration to speak again
>"Wuh... wait. Wait. This- this isn't gay, is it?"
"Do you want it to be?"
>It takes a moment for him to decide on an answer to that
>"The jury's still out on that. Keep going."

The end.

God damn, I only had to delete the post three times to get the editing right.

>>28807603
a cute n-no homo
please write more

>meanwhile in Crystal Empire
>be Cadance
"My cuckoldry sense is tingling..."

File: hurts just a little bit.jpg (287KB, 1756x2200px) Image search: [Google]

287KB, 1756x2200px

>>28807603
>you will never pet a big white awkward unicorn nerd into submission

>>28807603
> "This is all incredibly strange and I think I want to panic."
kek. All that editing was worth it

> Attack before he can recover, tying him down and pulling something over his horn.
> Edge him relentlessly for hours, never taking more than a few minutes break.
> Stroke him at an agonizingly glacial pace, ensuring he can never for a second forget exactly where your hands are but never quite reaches climax.
> Discover that once unsheathed, you can still use a tightened strap as a cock ring - pumping up his pressure and ensuring he feels each and every feather-light touch you trace up and down his teasing shaft.
> He tried to get himself off by belly-slapping, but you just grabbed his cock and held it steady as he jerked and writhed.
> Blowing across the tip yielded another moan from him, and without even realizing what he is doing Shining starts thrusting into your hand.
> His cheeks burn fiery red with shame when you point out what he'd been reduced to.
> When he's been reduced to a gibbering, twitching wreck you at last roll him onto his back and give him when he's been needing for so long.
> Shining cries out as he erupts, spraying thick ropes of seed across his coat - some even landing on his face.
> You don't give him any relief, squeezing his sack and continuing to pump his shaft until every last drop has been milked from him - even when he cries out that he's too sensitive, that you need to stop touching.
> And then, hook up the electrodes - one to a circle of copper wire you wing around his sack until it's encased in a cocoon of metal, the other to a foot-long metal probe.
> He well and truly squeals when that slides up his still-sensitive shaft, but quickly discovers that wriggling yields even more agony from it.
> There's not much he can do, however, when you plug the outlet.
> No stimulation here - just 120V passing through his most sensitive flesh until the smell of cooking meat fills the room and smoke rises from his crotch.
> Send him back with a letter pinned to his ear taunting that his last orgasm ever had been to you.

>>28808717
That made me feel both aroused and hungry, thanks to the cooked meat part.

But guard horse is not for sexual, it is for petting and scratching behind the ears.

>>28809281
Agreed, no injuring guard horse. He's for bromance only, building wooden yard furniture while making dirty jokes, cracking into a twelve pack, a long, quiet period of pony petting.

>>28808717
>Signed: Queen Chrysalis
>P.S. Cadance, your mane sucks.

>>28802797
>boop

File: shinyride.jpg (216KB, 833x1018px) Image search: [Google]

216KB, 833x1018px

>>28802797
Ride him.

>>28810900
lood dubs

File: Shining2.png (2MB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1000x1000px

>>28810900
Shining's probably too small to ride without squishing him, but I bet he could pull a cart just fine- One would have to best him in a bet, though, and might end up pulling it themself.

>be anon, watching naked midget wrestling on your bedroom PC.
>reality warps, everything tastes of snozzberries, then Shining pops into existance and lands on your bed.
"Better landing than usual, that."
>"It's not a bad time, is it?" he replies.
"Nah it's all good, I got fired from zippy-mart for covering the floor in security tags sticky side up again. This time they cavity-searched a nun."
>Shining looks a bit nonplussed. "You gonna be OK?"
"Yeah, I can coast a bit. Looking at a promising carreer as a cardboard box crusher. So what brings you by?"
>"Shark week. Cadance is on the rag."
"Oooh. Yeah best get outta there with all your bits intact."
>"I'm never going to forgive you for showing me that. I still have trouble turning my back on her."
"She probably thinks you've gone nuts."
>he flinches, giving you an accusing look.
"Anyhow sure, you can crash here. Check out this video."
>he watches, horror slowly turning to joy, and soon the two of you are laughing at the body-slams, submission holds and funny sounds coming from the PC.
"Let's head to the living room, I'll put on a peetzer."
>After that came an airsoft gun battle, it was only a good thing he'd brought over a pair of pony goggles on a prior occasion.
>Your position behind the sofa was fairly unassailable, and ammo kept flying until you accidentally hit the edge of your TV.
"Uh, I think we better stop before we bust something."
>you watch as the other pistol in a magic grip falls below the overturned coffee table on the other side of the room.
>"Yeah, I think the peetzer's about done by now anyway, from the smell of it."
>feasting happens.
>Later on, you take your "dog in a unicorn costume" out for a walk. On a leash of course, just to complete the look.
>The neighbors always thought it was weird you only had a dog sometimes, but Shining would get sick of being indoors too much so you >had to risk it. He never could get the bark down quite right either, but you were still secretly glad for Shark Week.

File: 1366576676517.png (135KB, 399x339px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 399x339px

>>28812526
>Page44

>rape

>>28812526
Embarrassed Shining best Shining.

I need more guard horse cuddles in my life.

File: Shining.jpg (818KB, 1800x3000px) Image search: [Google]

818KB, 1800x3000px

>>28813910
Me too.

How would you go about bringing up Shining's inner nerd?
Surely, he's still that insecure /tg/ autist behind the facade of the guard captain.
Would you play a D&D session with him?

>>28802797
buttsecks

File: 1477890303669.jpg (21KB, 466x359px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 466x359px

>>28805394
>That pic

>>28812594
That's gay

I love it

>>28815041
Yes. Even if my fa/tg/uy instincts require me to point out that as far as tabletop rpgs go, D&D is actually not all that great.

>>28815364
>D&D is actually not all that great
Since I'm unfortunately not a fa/tg/uy yet, hopefully, I went with the stereotype.

>Shining's inner nerd is an extremely picky one too
>the ensuing autistic arguments, throwing pros and cons to and fro for every tabletop game in existence
>game session shouldn't have been brought up as the resulting autism field in the room reached the levels lethal for the unprepared

File: lyra.png (10KB, 189x267px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 189x267px

>>28812679
>peetzer
wat

>>28815469
It's a meme, so I went with it. The theme was that shining visits anon regularly and anon shows him shit off the net in between other nerdly pursuits. Naturally, pizza would become peetzer between the two of them..

>>28815659
Does Shining have some kind of "total bro world" portal in his secret playroom or something?

>You're losing yet another match to your brother, your SMASH brother.
>Fuck. Marth's. Grab. Range.
>He's got a 3 stock lead and your backs against the wall.
>Or rather, your head's against the ceiling.
>Time to use your secret weapon.
"NO NAMELESS, STOP TOUCHING MY PENIS"
>"The fuck niggeh?"
Shining appears between the two of you with his sword drawn.
>"Who's touching your penis Anon?"
>"What in the hell? says nameless.
>Fuck he paused it, looks like you called Shining here for nothing.

>>28815768
>cheating
>failing even at cheating
>distracting Shining from the important task of staring at the ceiling, dying of boredom
>failing at cheating
Anon should consider suicide.
>not inviting the brohorse to play together
...with a spork.

>>28815420
I don't blame you for going with it, it's the most commonly-known game of the type.

File: 1403009091697.png (299KB, 742x1022px) Image search: [Google]

299KB, 742x1022px

>>28815041
I'd offer to play Hyperspace Hyperwars after he was done sucking my cock.

File: princess_cadence_eating_a_pancake_while_twilight_sparkle_plays_the_banjo.png (131KB, 617x750px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 617x750px

Sneak up behind me, suddenly, lock my lips around his anal ring, and use my tongue to stab at his ponut and rape the shit out of his rectal passage. Coat every inch of his rectum with my hot breath and thick saliva. Make his hole loose and sticky while I tongue fuck it for all I'm worth. French kiss and make love to his plot like the anal whore that I am. Eat him ass out for hours and hours, clean his pipe out the whole day and night. If you know what I mean.

>>28817038
>Shining attempts suicide on the next day
>accepts his fate the day after

File: 1420953628892.png (266KB, 1920x2650px) Image search: [Google]

266KB, 1920x2650px

>>28815364

>>28818138
Fuck, I remember that thread

>July 2014
WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIME

>>28802797
Jump on his back, hold him around the neck, and awkwardly wait until he magically teleports back to Equestria or whatever and takes me with him.
Then hope that I survive the trip and it's not like some kind of Stephen King horror thing on the way there.

File: 44ddd66258ecc5fd4829698f460469c1.jpg (116KB, 600x746px) Image search: [Google]

116KB, 600x746px

>>28818405
>Then hope that I survive the trip

>Ponies generate their own Gellar Fields
>You do not
>Fortunately being close to Shining Armor is enough to survive
>It is not enough to shield you from visions of what waits in the Space Between Realms.

>>28816404
He really should.

>>28815768
"At ease Shining, he's only metaphorically diddling me."
>"Metaphorically I raped your dick hole."
>"You showed him that weird futa stuff too, Anon? It's so disgusting!"
>"I know right what a faggot"
"Woah woah hey let's get back to the game before we get off track."
>There has to be someone who understands feminine penis like you do.
>You'll find them some day. You just know it.
>Nameless unpauses. "Yo shining watch this"
>You're ready for his mind games this time! He's just standing there center stage, this is the perfect time to dash attack!
>You jump over him for the mix up and-
>HE GRABBED YOU OUT OF YOUR DASH ATTACK?
>Two pummels and and up throw seal the deal.
"That was bullshit."
>"Why did you dash attack? You're LUIGI!"
>"....Can I play next?" shining asks.
"Here ya go, I'm gonna keep what's left of my pride" you drop the controller in shining's general direction.
>You get up and check the pizza tracker on your laptop. Looks like it left the store finally.

>>28802797

Ask what what Twilight's pussy feels like.

>>28818830
>"Like your mom's, only cleaner."

File: ShiningHorror.jpg (57KB, 479x610px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 479x610px

>>28812679
>Be day 2 of Shark Week.
>You awaken to the heady smell of expensive shampoo and stallion fur. The reason for this turns out to be Shining's head sprawled across your chest, his mane in your face. The rest of him is a lump under the covers alongside you to the right.
>This was always the most difficult part of his visits, awakening him without becoming pinned to your own headboard with ten inches of spiral ivory through your head.
>Still, you'd learned to have fun with it. Carefully slithering your left hand out of the covers, you place the tip of your index finger on the point of his horn, and slowly slide across it like you're testing a phonograph's needle.
>His soft-plastic feeling hooves twitch against your side as his legs spasm a bit.
>Another scrape.
>His tail swishes under the blanket like he's trying to oust an annoying fly, then his feet bump you again.
>One of them's really really warm.
>With interest bordering on horror, you feel with your right hand.
>"mmdance I'm sleemm" he mumbles.
>Finding the source of the heat, you grab it. It's like gripping a very hot screwdriver handle. Poor Cadance. Or perhaps lucky?
>Shining startles awake. Fortunately the horn misses you, and you're faced with a pair of absolutely huge blue eyes.
>You let go.
"Geez Shining, I didn't know you cared!" you quip.
>"Uh, I'm I'm I'm uh-"
>"It's OK man. Just giving you some hell."
>It has always interested you that pony fur is, in itself, capable of blushing. He was turning red as a beet.
"No homo. Serious."
>He remains in shock.
"Remember, it's only gay..."
>"If the balls touch. OK. OK. I'm alright. No more touchie."
"I promise nothing, when I'm being poked in the side with it. Now settle down and we'll figure out what to have for breakfast."

>>28818688
>Be nameless.
>Teaching new peeps how to play is always fun.
>Also this is a unicorn, you saw one the first and last time you tried lsd but this is a real one.
>"So who do I pick?" says shining the unicorn.
"Well tell me about yourself first Shining unicorn.
>"I'm prince of the crystal kingdom that my wife and I have saved with our love. I'm also a skilled sword stallion and my magic reaches further than most ponies."
>This horse is Marth, like most Americans, you've never played Fire Emblem so you don't know if Marth has a wife though.
"Do you fancy keeping your opponents at swords length?"
>"Of course!"
>You have a totally straight boner right now.
"I-I think you should play Marth" you stammer.
>"oh ok cool"
>You pick Final destination, the good one.
"Alright now just get a feel for the controls"
>You look over and see that he's holding the controller with some glowing horn telekinesis.
>You'd be more worried if he were stomping it with his hooves.
>"ok walking jab standing jab, rush, roll ,sheild ,air dodge He's got solid technique, I'lll stick with him.
>You've got a solid snake, as your secondary. You're good enough to train the newbies with him.
>"The up special leaves you vulnerable for so long. Ok I'm ready, let's go." shining tells you with several crouches.

>>28818935
>Not jacking him off in his sleep
>Not wordlessly slipping out of bed and walking away right as he's on edge, leaving him confused and leaking pre on his belly.
>Not never making any mention of it again, even further confusing the poor guy.

>>28819228
Point taken, but we're just bros in my story. I always love reading more Shining green if you feel like taking a run at it.

>molesting guard horse in his sleep
No, the guard horse is pure. PURE!

File: ShiningChrissy.png (476KB, 1000x557px) Image search: [Google]

476KB, 1000x557px

>>28818935
>Be emerging from Casa Del Pancakes with an armload of bags. Untying his leash from the door handle, Shining makes that awful "Horf" sounding bark and grins.
>Leading him around back through the parkinglot and upwind of the fetid dumpsters, you sprawl on a patch of grass so manicured it might as well be plastic.
>He looks around, then whispers "A little girl saw me. She was all "Shining Armor!!" but her parents told her to stop being stupid and dragged her off."
"Normalcy bias. I swear it's the only reason we get away with this. The folks probably thought the restaurant was doing a promo or something. Try and act like a stuffed animal when that happens."
>"Noted. So what did you get?"
>You lay down a couple flattened napkins, then set out styrofoam boxes full of blueberry pancake stacks drowned in syntho-maple syrup.
>You only ate like this when he was around, the equestrian diet was enough to send a normal human into sucrose shock if practiced daily.
>He glances around again, then a hint of blue magic and his pancake box flips open. You're only glad those mammoth eyes of his are so sharp, he normally saw threats before you did.
>"Oooh. Yeah these will do."
>feasting happens, you secretly entertained by how he lowers his head in like he's gobbling it but the pancakes neatly cut themselves up into little squares as he scarfs them down.

File: BARF.gif (102KB, 513x386px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 513x386px

>>28819662
>Dumping the now-empty garbage in a trash-can, you head back to your putrid palace.
>An obnoxious old neighbor steps in front of you before you get there.
>"So, I see you've got your dog back."
"Yeah, uh yup my cousin dropped him off, he's on duty again don't ya know, no room for dogs."
>"It's cruel to keep him in a silly costume all the time. The wife can't abide it." You peer at his front window, at a disapproving wrinkled old-lady face watching you all.
"Oh she just hasn't seen. You remember me telling you. He was one of those trained show dogs, that runs up the ramp and through the hole and down a tunnel, and there happened to be that cement mixer truck with it's chute lowered, and he just went right up and in. Weeks at the Animal Reconstruction lab at the university before they even got all the legs re-attached-"
>your toe aches badly. "Horf!" You lean down, noting a blue hoof on your little toe on your flipflop.
>"I got this. Pretend to unzip me." Shining whispers.
>You pantomime unzipping his back, as Shining's eyes and horn blaze for a moment. "Jimminy Crickets!" shouts the old man, rapidly creaking toward his house. You glance at the window, but all there is is a huge green blast-mark of puke visible within.
>You lean down again, and shining whispers "Illusion. I might have overdone it with the exposed metal bones, a little."
>The rest of the walk home is spent trying not to bust out in laughter.

boop

>>28815765
Don't ask me how he does it. It's magic! I figure Anon found him one day and took him to his place. Or he first appeared there. Dunno.

>>28819676
>"I might have overdone it"
I just hope he didn't "overdone it" during his time in the guard.

>>28820269

>>28821072
The trick he used: He got the idea from Crysalis, the actual spell from Twilight, knowing this scenario could happen in Anon's world. It's non-show-canon and recently learned so I doubt it got used in the guard much. Mind clarifying what you meant?

>>28821781
>Mind clarifying what you meant?
Overdoing a magic-related task. Like crushing a changeling pone into the pavement instead of just holding the pone in place.

>Shining is actually almost strong as Twilight
>he neither knows about it, nor is able to control the sudden surge of magic
Makes for one hell of a "Whoopsie!"

>>28803725
I love you Needlechan!

File: 1439622765524.png (216KB, 856x722px) Image search: [Google]

216KB, 856x722px

>>28802797
pet horse

>>28821967
lewd

File: gh.png (148KB, 395x290px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 395x290px

Guard horse is for sexual.

>>28823172
Guard horse is certainly NOT for sexual.

>>28803293
>Braeborne
All my fucking sides

>>28804171
>this comic
fucking hell
nice taste

File: 1470383797045.jpg (328KB, 664x1024px) Image search: [Google]

328KB, 664x1024px

>>28824089
Guard horse is for nonsexual ear penetration.

File: [internally screaming].png (285KB, 377x768px) Image search: [Google]

285KB, 377x768px

>>28824480
>ear penetration

>>28825424
>aural sex

>>28826314
I'm going to find you one day, fucking beaner.

>>28821862
Ah, I see what you meant. I'll have Shining explain what happened, next update of Shark Week.

File: Foxy.png (479KB, 798x922px) Image search: [Google]

479KB, 798x922px

>>28819676
>Be back in your living room. You and Shining settle in, both of you chuckling and sniggering helplessly.
"How did you do that?"
>"I asked Twilight for an illusion spell so I can look like different things. I'm not real good at it yet but I can hit around four people at once with it, now."
"What the hell did you show them?"
>"I've been listening to your dumb dog-in-a-cement-mixer story every time you've told it, which makes for, uh, maybe eight times now. And every time I hear it I just keep thinking of what the dog would look like. I just projected my own head-canon."
You consider that for a minute. "Show me?"
>"You're gonna hurl all over me and the sofa, dude."
"No, serious, I wanna see."
>"You asked for it." Shining's eyes flash. A goofier-looking version of himself peels in half revealing-
"Holy mother of God!"
>"I know, right?" the atrocity replies. It's like if Foxy had crossbred with dried old roadkill, chunks of concrete, and mad science.
>There's a slight warp in reality and Shining is back.
"Was the sparking brain in a jar really necessary?"
>"It matches the video-camera eye."
"I guess you're right. That was the better eye to look at, too, the way you make the other one jiggle like that."
>"Bro, if this dog's been through all that, his eye's gonna jiggle like all. the. time."
"Those neighbors will never talk to me again, I hope you know."
>"Thank me later."
"True. Up for some DOOM?"
>"Always!"
>Vidya happens.

>>28802797
Stick my dick inside his ponut and hold on for dear life, if I'm inside him, I might get dragged back to Equestria with him.

>>28827135
dis gud
write more

>>28828004
You are the wind beneath my wings!

>>28828010
y-you too

File: ShiningCringe.png (149KB, 931x858px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 931x858px

>>28827135
>Be Anon, late evening. Shining has gone thoughtfully silent for a while. Experience prepared you for what he was going to say next.
>"I have to call home."
"I'll go get the thing." Getting up, you head to your bedroom and retrieve your stainless steel survival signal mirror
It was blued from heat and slightly warped.
"Here ya go." Shoving a mound of old cigarette butts, peanut shells and other refuse to the rear of your giant ashtray, you balance the mirror between a couple of the slots so it stands more or less vertical.
>giving you a nervous side-glance, Shining's horn alights, the glow enveloping the mirror.
"Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson." you intone, getting an annoyed glare in reply, as he continues to concentrate.
>The little mirror suddenly illuminates, Cadance peering down at the two of you, apparently holding her mirror low.
>"Shining! I'm sure you're having a good time." she says, acid dripping.
>"Hi, fluffy-lumps! How are you and our daughter getting along?" Shining says in a bright voice.
>"Like you care! You bolt out of my entire dimension the minute I need you the most!"
>"But my precious, you were. Uh." he glances at you, worried about airing dirty laundry.

File: CaddyMirror2.png (170KB, 450x253px) Image search: [Google]

170KB, 450x253px

>>28828040
>"Oh I'm sure you've already told Dear Anon all about the frying pan scene by now!" comes her tinny voice, the little polished sheet of metal actually buzzing in it's ashtray holder from the volume.
"Hi, Cadance! I've missed you!" you exclaim, leaning into view momentarily.
>"Fuck off, Anon!" comes the reply.
>You give Shining an evil grin, from the sidelines. He re-focusses on the mirror.
>"So, honey, I was just checking in to make sure everything's OK. I'll probably have to stay here for another day or two-"
>"Prick!"
>"And just wanted to wish you my everlasting love. I'll call again later on, OK?"
>"You can fuck right off and shrivel, you cowardly vile bastard! I'm half tempted to come over there myself and-"
>The image, which had been getting reddish and smokey, suddenly termintes with a sad tinkle sound.
"Nice." you say, watching your little mirror fade from a deep red back down to normal, the smell of hot tin filling the room.
>"I've just cost her another makeup compact." Shining says factually.
"She should get them in bulk. I'm just glad I found a mirror that can withstand her calls."
>Shining sighs. "I think I'm gonna hit the sack. It's been a long day."
>Yawning, you agree.

>>28828043
They really should invest in sturdier mirrors.
Or anger management courses.

>>28828043
This stuff is great. Keep going, you magnificent bastard.

Poor Cadance though. I think Anon needs to invite her over, sit them both down and have a long talk about respecting each others' needs, and then they both spitroast Cadance and leave her a twitching and satisfied wreck.

>>28828407
>Anon the marriage counselor
It's like if a nun would be giving you advises on your sex life.

>>28828738
"First things first, no anal it makes God angry."
>"Your priests don't seem to think that way"
"What was that?"
>"They fuck boys"
"Not anymore!"
>"Why did we even go to a nun, I'm not catholic, I'm a Real christian."
>Debate ensues.

File: Female shining Armor.png (321KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

321KB, 800x800px

>>28803293
I like it's established in this page that shining helped raise spike. Then he fucks spike in the ass and then spike fucks him in the ass. Fucking homos.

>>28829223
top qt

File: ShiningSleep2.png (167KB, 450x353px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 450x353px

>>28828043
>Be day 3 of Shark Week
>The bed quakes a bit. "unn."
>You pop an eye open, then close it. Dim morning light illuminates the grungy room.
>Another vibration, with an odd little sigh.
>'What the fuck.' you think, annoyance bringing you back to consciousness.
>an audible Smack sound, vibration and "Unnnnn."
>Eyes open and bloodshot, you turn over. Facing you on the other pillow is a horse head. "Geez it's almost like on the Godfather." you think.
>You see his closed eyes squint further, another smack sound from below, and another "Unnnn".
>That does it. You reach out an arm and begin patting him relentlessly on the cheek.
"Bad horsey! Bad bad horsey! Not in Anon's bed!"
>Hooves flail under the covers and his eyes pop open as he tosses his head, his horn digging another gouge into your poor, scarred headboard.
>"What! What's wrong!" he shouts, surging awake.
"You were doing it again. You're going to make poor baby Jebus cry."
>He rolls hooves up, covering his eyes. "Fuck, Anon. Sorry. I just miss her is all."
"Yeah I know, that princess of love thing must be worth a million bucks, in the sack."
>He turns toward you, at first looking annoyed. Then conspiratorial and mischeivous. "You just have NO idea."
"Well just don't fuck up my bed, I already washed my sheets once this season."
>He snickers. "You need an entourage of servants."
"Goddamn right I do. Wanna send some?"
>"Would if I could, dude. They don't wanna get killed by Cadance either though, and in their case it's safer to stay and work than go with me."
"Ah well. Shit."
>"So. What's for breakfast?"

File: RarityAssholes.png (340KB, 400x619px) Image search: [Google]

340KB, 400x619px

>>28830062
"I'm thinking a danger run."
>"Donut Hut? Sure, I could go for those. Pity I have to hide from police, seeing as I'm a guard captain."
"Oh believe me, they see something like you, and you're gonna be so fulla holes you'll be see-through."
>"I still say my shield spell would reflect the shots."
"Even if it did then everything else is gonna get hit by 'em. Let's just stick with our usual plan."
>the walk to the donut hut isn't terribly long but it's uncomfortably exposed. You just grin and wave at people when observed, though, and it seems to work.
>The fun part begins when the donut shop comes into view. Fortunately there is a tall fence around it, with some thick shrubbery.
>As you walk past, Shining dives into the shrub as you drop his leash. You continue on past the fence, entering the parkinglot of the Donut Hut sans your pet.
>The lot is, as usual, mostly full of cop cruisers.
>Inside looks like an FOP convention, with animated conversation going on. Noone takes much note of you as you make your way to the register and order up a dozen, mostly filled with jellies and cremes but also a few apple fritters. Shining goes crazy for those.
>Once done, you walk out again with the enormous box, trying to look nonchalant as you walk past the shrub.
>Momentarily a blue glow surrounds you and the box, and you're whisked inside the shrub, only a couple of leaves floating down past where you had been walking.
"Goddam, dude, you near wrenched my back."
>"I'm just trying to make you vanish quick, so they can't tell where you went if anybody saw it." Shining replies.
"Fine, just remember I break at high speeds."
>Setting down the box, the two of you grab and scarf until they're gone and you're both bloated.
"Well, they weren't especially good, but there were alot of them." you say.
>Shining burps and nods. "I'm thirsty, wanna head back?"
"Sure."
Taking up his leash, the two of you, with a rolled up pizza box under your arm, troop out for home.

File: AOF.png (9KB, 480x280px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 480x280px

>>28830838
>Once again making it inside without incident, other than a couple of huge-eyed small children who stared at Shining all the way past their yard, you open the fridge.
"What'cha want? I got Miller, Coors, and some old nasty Bud from when you were here last time."
>"Get me a Miller."
>Returning to the living room with drinks, you hold out a can which glows blue, whisks away from you and pops itself open.
>you watch, impressed always, as Shining shoves the whole can in his muzzle and simply leans back, swallowing until it's dry.
>the empty can hits your coffee table. "Ahh. Nothing like a cold breakfast beer, is there."
>Cracking yours, you take a swig. "Indeed not."
>He burps. "Really there's nothing quite like this stuff in Equestria. It's odd, too, considering that it's made from fermented plants. We're really into plants."
"Just lucky, I guess. Then again our cider won't ring your bell unless it's been fermented first, unlike yours."
>"Your culture was never blessed with alcohol-laden apples, not your fault there."
"You keep promising to bring me some of those."
>"I know, but I never really know ahead of time when's a good time to come over. I mean, it hits her all of a sudden like."
>snickering, you reply "You need to keep a stocked bug-out bag handy."
>"There usually isn't even enough time for that."
"Even so. It might work."
>"OK, I'll try to put something together. Hey I know. Load up Art Of Farting."
"You're planning to spam me to death with ha-dookie balls again, aren't you."
"Those that don't block, deserve to get hadookied to death."
"OK, OK, let me load up MAME..."
>Vidya happens.

>>28831214
I think I saw a better/finished version, though it was long time ago and I may be wrong.

File: Shining_Panic.png (2MB, 912x2560px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 912x2560px

>>28831214
Oh you so didn't go there. Yup... You went there.

File: 1478300810625.jpg (87KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 1280x720px

>>28831214

>all that cringe
>open the image
>no fucks given
Is there something wrong with you or with me?

>>28831396
Nah you're fine. I've grown immune to it too.

File: MagicalRealm.png (69KB, 180x215px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 180x215px

>>28831118
>As the little animated china-man sweeps Ryo's flaming skeleton off the stage yet again, and Robert pumps his fists in the air, you set your controller down.
"Hax!"
>"Hey, if you just jump right and cling on the wall, the Hadookie Death Blast will go right under you."
"Ryo for some reason doesn't "cling" to shit."
>"He does when I play him."
"Lies!"
>Shining chuckles. "How about something a bit more old fashioned, the." he says, pulling up a purple velvet bag of dice.
>"I've been working out a new campaign."
"Do tell."
>"In it, the beautiful princess has been kidnapped by her evil witch twin sister, who kills any hero who tries to get near her."
"Sounds original enough. No idea what led to that idea. I'm up for it, what the hell."
>Shining proceeds to produce some paper maps, a DM screen and such.
"Where do you keep all that shit, anyway?"
>"A dimension pocket. All ponies are taught how to make one, or at least spelled with one."
"Can't you put some of those hundred-proof apples in there for me?"
>"Anon, I love ya man, but I'm not gonna have a bushel of apples go bad in my pocket with all my other shit."
"Fine. So. We're..."
"At a tavern. A shady looking mare in a thick, hooded overcloak approaches us..."

>>28831685
OP here demanding more.

>>28831396
If that doesn't bother you then frankly you're nuts

>>28832677
More will be forthcoming. Gotta deal with RL for a while first though.

Also, checked!

>>28832712
When I find you, you dirty fucking scratchback, I'll make that image a reality.

File: 1475181880078.png (377KB, 800x527px) Image search: [Google]

377KB, 800x527px

>>28808594
>just a little bit

File: silverfish.jpg (115KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 400x300px

>>28831685
>"Let's see, Wookie flings primate-doodoo at the Colloidal Silverfish, dealing- (sound of rolling dice) 22 Hitpoints of pollution. My turn." Shining says.
"The name's Captain Silverback- Goddammit, now you got me doing it. Captain Strongback to you, Pony Precious. And it was a throwing star."
>"Whatevs. BattleMage Centaur Thewdious fires both bolts of his over-and-under crossbow, dealing- (dice) Critical Hit, 87 Hitpoints. Silverfish's turn"
"I think you're cooking the dice."
>"Please. That would be uncool. Silverfish uses Ass Pincer Attack on Gorilla, skwooshing you for (dice) 45 hitpoints. You better drink a heal. And get a shower ASAP too."
"Gross!"
>"Colloidal Silverfish does not attack Thewdious, begins charging something instead. Your turn."
"Your dude is just lucky, right?"
>"Hey, I don't make the rules. Oh wait, yeah I do!"
"Uh-huh. Potions are for the weak. OK I jam my polearm down the silverfish's gullet like a shishkabob."
>"I cast Zika Missile. (dice) Your polearm is deflected by the Silverfish's arm and misses. (dice) My spell hits, and will take two rounds to have effect. Silverfish finishes charging, then leaps high into the air, coming down in a Crashing Earthquake attack. We are both stunned. Silverfish bites helpless Thewdious, for (dice) 60 damage. I'm close to dead too. Roll for recovery."

File: Scepter1.png (195KB, 344x760px) Image search: [Google]

195KB, 344x760px

>>28834051
"Roll!"
>(dice) You recover! Giant Chimpanzee regains his feet! See, it's a fair game. I roll. (dice) Thewdious, uh, doesn't. Your move?"
"Broadsword to where its thorax joins to it's ass-ax!"
>Shining chuckles, then throws the dice. "Not bad. 42 damage. The silverfish is on it's last pair of legs. I roll (dice) and recover, Thewdious recovers. Move?"
"Same as last time!"
>"I'm going with crossbow bolts again. Bonobo strikes midsection with sword. Critical! Silverfish now has no ass! My Zika Missile spell takes hold and its head deflates until it's eye-stalks touch. Silverfish goes mad. I fire two arrows at it, dealing (dice) 20 damage. Silverish attacks itself dealing- Way more than necessary. It falls over dead, twitching."
"Search it for treasure."
>"Capuchin Monkey pulls it's ass-pincers apart, an enchanted scepter plus 50 gold pour from it's rectum."
"Nice."
>"I find it's the little things that make the game so much fun. Good play by the way."
"Uh-huh. I say we continue down the tunnel, with your dude's mage-sight on."
>Ogres & Oubliettes game continues for hours.

File: ShiningSinister.gif (211KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

211KB, 600x400px

>>28834067
>Be day 4 of Shark Week.
>You feel the odd sensation of bristles bristling the bristles on your chin. It's an unfamiliar, and for some vague reason, troubling sensation.
>You're also being hugged rather tightly, both around the neck and strangely down around your waist.
>Your whole side is really warm, like you're laying against a water heater tank.
>It's not a bad feeling at all, but some part of your mind was screaming in panic. Slowly you open your eyes.
>"nndance." reaches your ears, as you see Shining apparently makking on your stubbly chin, deep in some sort of dream.
'Goddammit, not again.' you think. Then the unicorn homes in for a kiss, eyes half opening with a loving, languid look of sleepy adoration.
"Shining!" you belt out. The unfocussed pupils shrink right down and he freezes, then throws himself off of you, spitting and rubbing his lips with a foreleg.
"That bitch better get over this soon or you're gonna be humping my leg next, I swear."
>"Dude, I am SO sorry. I am SO-"
"No, I get it, just let us never speak of this again."
>He nods frantically, reddening again.
>You clear your throat loudly, turning away and getting dressed. For a while there is no sound but that of your dressing.
>Finally put together, you glance back at Shining. He looks a bit more composed, now.
"How about some ice cream and cake?" you ask.
>"Hell yeah, that sounds great!" he replies, relief flooding his voice, and the two of you set out.

>>28831685
What would happen if you were to shove the pone in her dimensional pocket?
What would happen if pone reached into it while being in there?

File: 1454963583823.gif (918KB, 450x450px) Image search: [Google]

918KB, 450x450px

>>28802797

>Make sure I am naked
>Keep talking casually to him
>Take some viagra
>Lube my penis
>Continue chit chat
>He's a chill guy
>Shinning Armor farts
>No one finds this weird
>Horses fart and shit constantly
>Wait till the next fart.jpg
>I hear his stomach gurgle
>I see his tail lift up
>His ponut starts to open
>CODAK
>tell him to look at that amazing flying tranny spam over there
>Jump on him
>Block his back orifice with my throbbing penis
>He's shock, eyes bulged
>Needs to pass air, but can't
>Keeps making pressure, while I hold him down forcefully clamping forward my pelvis to seal the hole
>PRESSURE IS RISING
>HIS EYES TURN RED
>SCREAMS
>SUDDENLY HIS FUCKING HEAD EXPLODES INTO GORY BITS
>''Pfffffft''
>His throat just farted

......
......
....

>I release body from his corpse, still lying on the ground on my back
>A thick mixture of feces, blood and semen spurs out the swollen exit, ceasing into a small pool
>Gazing the sky I realize, I have failed.
>The fart escaped.

>Cadence approaches.
>Looks at me and smiles before bowing down to sip from the muddy liquid

>''This is some bomb-ass tea, Anon''

>>28834359
I think it could be an unholy mess that would require Twilight's skill to unmess?

File: sensible chuckle.gif (992KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

992KB, 250x250px

>>28834379
>last line

File: FixitFelix.png (13KB, 432x467px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 432x467px

>>28834264
>Be in the grocery store, trying out Shining's new idea. Sick of being tied outside of stores, the two of you had made a stop at the local Goodwill >store. He's pacing along ahead of you, a former towel now magically emblazened Guide Animal draped over his back.
>You're holding onto what used to be some old golf-clubs, now reconfigured into a guide harness attached to him with straps under the towel.
>You yourself are wearing a nasty bright green plaid shirt with a red and brown polka dot tie and orange slacks.
>Atop your head is a monsterous black and white checked pimp hat. A huge pair of very dark sunglasses adorns your face.
>You'd picked the outfit out yourself, and were quite proud of the overall effect.
>Your guide animal leads you down aisle after aisle, drawing a few stares, especially when he spots something he wants and goes on
>horn-point and you grab the indicated item, adding it to the plastic basket in your left hand.
"I think they suspect." you whisper, you and he finally in an aisle empty of people.
>"Even if they do, they're too scared of being politically incorrect to say anything, that's what's brilliant about this."
>Shining whispers back.

File: ShiningBoastful.png (198KB, 808x988px) Image search: [Google]

198KB, 808x988px

>>28834446
"Only a couple more things, I'm not made of money." you finish. He nods, then leads you to the frozen foods section.
>You get hauled up and down the rows several times, Shining looking almost panicked by indecision, until he finally horn-points
>out some chocolate-cherry ice cream and a chocolate pudding thaw-and-eat pie.
>Basket heavy, you make your way to the checkout. Shining was as good as his word, the cashier's eyes repeatedly roving between the
>"Guide Animal" blanket over his back, to his horn, before finally spending some time gazing at the wonder of your wardrobe.
>You pay and leave without incident, the cashier never questioning the ease with which you produced the right bills.
>Outside, you ask "And now what if a neighbor stops us near my place?"
>"Just tell them that you're your brother back to visit his dog that he misses. You look different enough in that getup."
>"Uhuh. OK I'll buy that." you agree, nodding.
>The return home is uneventful
>feasting happens.

>>28834446
>>28834466
It's a blessing Rarity can't see them right now.
She'd kill both. Probably would've hanged Anon by his tie.

>>28834606
You're absolutely right. The element of Fashion would indeed burn down an entire place just to get these two, wearing that.

>>28834401
What if you put several poners into each other's pockets and they would reach into their own pocket?

boop

>>28835277
Thing is though, they do have something like this. I know it's technically non-canon, but where the hell else do they keep their bag of bits they pay for stuff with? They've always got their money, you just never see where it comes from. Obviously it's like Bravestarr's holster.

>>28835783

>>28836516

non-consensual public booping

moo

File: 1166988.png (2MB, 2289x4464px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2289x4464px

Shining's a big softie.

Break out some dice, play Dungeons and Dragons with him.

How would Shining react if you drugged and shaved him, mane to tail?
That will be one hell of a morning, when he wakes up, goes to brush his teeth or something and looks in the mirror. Would probably hate you for life too.
After he's done freaking out, you'd give him some old sweater, which ends up making him look like some oversized chihuahua.

>>28838193
Yeah, you'd never see him again after that, I think it's safe to say. Except some day you'd wake up shaved bald too.

>>28838229
>Except some day you'd wake up shaved bald too.
Joke's on him, I'm already bald.

>>28838229
On the contrary. I think you'd wake up hairy as a Sasquatch one day. Shining'd have found a 'grow hair' spell back in Equestria and learned it just for revenge.

>>28834466
This ain't green, this is fucking gold.

>>28838269
>I think you'd wake up hairy as a Sasquatch one day.
Joke's on him, I want to stop being bald.

>slowly drive Shining mad by turning his revenge attempts to profit

File: snek.png (94KB, 595x397px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 595x397px

>>28802797
Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of very gay things.

File: HorsePaper.jpg (180KB, 1150x454px) Image search: [Google]

180KB, 1150x454px

>>28834466
>Awaken from napping on the sofa. Shining is busily trying to master the Rainbow Track on N64 kart. He's got his huge horse-tongue gripped between his >teeth, the controller shaking and rocking in midair before him. You sneak off to the bathroom to take a whiz.
>Opening the bathroom door turns out to be a mistake.
"Pee-yoo!!"
>Hear the "bloop" of Pause being applied. "What's wrong, man?" echoes from the living room.
>You flip the light on. "My toilet! It looks like somebody dumped a truckload of horse-shit on it!"
>Your mood isn't improved by the peals of laughter that follow, then, "Hey I'm sorry, unless I flush it like five times when I go, this happens.
>You guys just have these tiny mini toilets."
"Well are you gonna come down here and do something about this, or do I hafta get a shovel?"
>"I hate touching yucky stuff with magic! I hadda do that last time! Can't we just rent a steam-plunger somewhere?"
"What the fuck's a steam plunger?!"
>"Oh. OK, for Celestia's sakes. I'm coming."
>Shining comes ambling down the hall, looking a trifle embarrassed.
>"It's the cake, man. Cake does it every time."
"Well I gotta piss, and I don't feel like sneaking out back. Can you just-"
>"Yeah yeah I'll cram it all down with magic. I'm gonna feel gross for the rest of the day I hope you know."
>he ambles inside. You stand there, watching with interest.
>"Hey. Close the door, this is gonna be sick enough as it is, I don't need you watching."
>Shutting the door, you hear him bitching. "Celestia- Oh man. Oh MAN. No. No. No." and little splashing sounds. You lean against the wall, at least if you had to suffer, so did he.
>Finally there's a swoosh and a clean flush sound. Shining emerges, clean but totally grossed-out looking.
>"There, your precious prissy princess-potty's ready for your ass, now. I'm gonna go be sick on the front lawn." he says, trudging past.
>He lies, though, as you bolt inside you hear the "Bloop" of the game going off pause.

File: enjoy_science.jpg (114KB, 600x380px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 600x380px

>>28839176
>Be in the kitchen, You and Shining are staring at you arranging a cigarette stuck vertically in a hole in the bottom of a paper plate
>inside the microwave. "OK, Shining, once I get this thing lit, set the glass bowl down over it."
>'flick' 'flick-Pouf" ... "OK that's got it, cap 'er up!"
>The bowl settles over the lit cigarette. Slapping the door shut, you turn the dial and the cheap microwave rattles and buzzes to life.
>"How long, do you think?"
"Didn't seem to take this long in the video, did it?" >BZZT<
>"It's going!" >BZZZZZZZT-WHOOF!<
"I saw one!"
>"Yeah!" >BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ<
"It worked! A fire-demon!"
>the two of you whoop and cheer, as a blue electrical entity floats around inside the glass bowl, until the remnant of the cigarette ignites the plate and smoke begins to pour out.
"Oh shit!"
>Shining magics a big-gulp cup full of water over as you rip the microwave open and lift the bowl. Shining douses the blaze.
>The fire-demon, fortunately, had fled for safer dimensions by then.
"Here you were saying I had no summoning magic."
>"Well. It didn't say much and it didn't stay, did it. We'd still be talking to one of mine!"
"Pleading for it not to eat our souls, no doubt."
>"That's always the issue with 'em, yeah. It stinks in here."
>You sniff. It certainly did. "Fire demon farts."
>Shining yawns. "Well I'm about spent. Bed?" "Sure."

>>28839344
Keeping the fire of broship warm bump.

File: Trump.jpg (305KB, 595x477px) Image search: [Google]

305KB, 595x477px

>>28840019
Thankyou. As the writefag of Shark Week I apologize for the interruption in the story, because I just had to go

CELEBRATE MY ASS OFF AT THE ELECTION OF OUR GOD-EMPEROR ELECT, Donald J. Trump!

We now continue. Soon as I write something.

File: ShiningBed1.jpg (117KB, 940x819px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 940x819px

>>28839344
>Be day 5 of Shark Week.
>You're laying on a warm beach on a desert island, the sun-heated surf washing up and over you over and over.
>You slowly come to realize that the warm water smells oddly of horse fur.
>'That's never a good sign.' you think, feeling somewhat troubled.
>You fight your way to consciousness and open your eyes. Your worst fears are confirmed, there is a horse sprawled over you.
>And he's sleep-fucking against your belly.
>Rage overtakes you. Reaching behind his mane, you grab and lift his head from over your shoulder, then throw yourself over top of him >and smoosh him into the bed on his back. Just to make your point, you give him a couple of hate-fuck grinds and leap off just as his >eyes blink open from the intense stimulation.
>You lay there, propped on one elbow, staring into his left eye.
>He stays there, hooves still upstretched like tentposts holding the blanket up.
>His head turns to stare at you, mouth half open in shock.
>"Who. Uh, who just molested who this time?" he asks.
"You started it, so I judo'd your ass. Flawless victory! You're lucky I didn't teabag you beside."
>"...Oh. OK."
>The hooves lower, and he rolls over to face you. "So, um, breakfast?"
"Breakfast."
The two of you hop out of bed and set out.

Anybody know what I should be doing in my TXT editor to keep all my >'s lined up down the left side?

>>28840580
Which one are you using anyway?

>>28840580
If you’re using Notepad++: Edit > Blank Operations > Trim Leading and Trailing Space

>>28840568
l-lewd

>>28841235
Pluma editor. And thanks!

File: 3Stooges.jpg (90KB, 600x462px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 600x462px

>>28840568
Pic related. Two of them, anyhow.

>Be standing in line at the Ice Cream Zone, dressed like a fashion nightmare and gripping the leader-dog harness of your Guide Animal.
>An uncomfortable number of small children are petting your "pet unicorn".
>"They're STICKY." Shining hisses back at you.
>"He talks!" cries a little girl.
"No, that's just me, I said, "I'm Picky!"...About my ice cream." you say loudly, giving Shining a discrete knee to the flank.
>He bonks you lightly in the shin with a hind hoof in return.
"You kids better step back anyhow, he's got a nasty bite on him."
>"Unicorns don't bite." the child insists.
>Shining peers around until there aren't any adults watching, then jacks his mouth open. Despite being herbivorous, male equines have fangs.
>You'd never gotten a good look at them before, but they were impressive.
>"Grrrrr!" Shining adds.
>You smile as the children scatter. Shining snaps his mouth shut and looks innocent, as the adults look around for a moment in confusion
>before returning to their usual boredom.
>Finally you reach the window, where some poor soul wearing a softserve-shaped hat asks your order.
>You try to pinpoint what Shining's horn is pointing to on the sign.
"I'll take a Rocky Ro-"
>A hoof bonks your foot.
"I mean, a turtle parfait."
>"With nuts? asks the cashier. 'Maybe they have job openings.' you think distractedly for a moment, as you view the prices.
>Shining's horn bobs almost imperceptably. "Yes. And a chocolate float with some hot fudge dumped in."
>You complete the transaction, then retreat, thankfully free of children, a couple of houses down where there happens to be a halfway
>vision-blocking grotto in the landscaping to hide in and eat.
>"Monkey kids. Yecch!" Shining says, before working on his parfait.
"I feel the same way, honestly."
>he chuckles
>Feasting happens.

File: 20161109_165802_HDR.jpg (907KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

907KB, 1536x2048px

>>28802797
"What the fuck?! Get out!"

>>28843353
>using OEM Glock sights
get some Trijicon HDs, nigga

>>28812526
>dragon x pony
>ever
kys

>>28802797
"That's it. I've finally lost it."

Poor Shining Armor. He's confused and scared enough as it is. He's never seen one of these hairless monkeys before, but he does recognize insanity when he sees it.

>>28842740
Please, don't stop.

File: Scoopy.png (17KB, 940x819px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 940x819px

>>28842740
>Be later on, at Anon's place. Conversation has ranged around a number of things, but returned to the ice cream store.
>"And what is with that mascot thing? "Scoopy?""
"You mean the ice-cream cone with creepy dead eyes eating itself with a spoon?"
>"Yeah that. That's nightmare fuel."
"I'm sure many of those children from this morning regularly wake up screaming from it. Pretty sure I have, at least once."
>"Maybe it can't feel pain."
"Geez I hope not. And it's sort of anchored to spot, so it can't move and find other sources of sustanance."
>Shining shivers. "The horror is on so many levels."
"I just try to avert my eyes from the sign. It never works, though. It's like a gory wreck. You just have to stare."
>"The owners of that place are sickos."
"Sadists, I'd say. You saw those hats they make the employees wear."
>"Oh yeah, those are bad too."
"I was thinking, though, that it might beat being a cardboard box crusher.
>"What are you talking about anyhow? Would you literally be-"
"Yeah, you see, the box compactor broke at a warehouse I walk by, and I got offered five bucks an hour to jump up and down on them myself."
>Shining stares down at the floor for a minute.
>"Sometimes I forget what being a prince really means. But even then, the kind of jobs we have are so much, er, less squalid."
"Squalid's just how things are here nowadays, bud! Don't sweat it."
>"Hm. If you say so. Up for some Portal?"
"I suppose I could be convinced to portal a little."
>vidya happens

>>28844057
>If you want a picture of the future, imagine a poop eating itself with a spoon — forever.

File: Dubs_CheckItRalph.png (79KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 400x400px

>>28844099
I enjoyed mousing that image up way too much. Sadly there really is one like it IRL. It's pink- Which is WORSE.

And I must say, astounding digits sir.

>>28802797
Ask him why he is racist to changelings

File: MegaMan64.jpg (9KB, 267x200px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 267x200px

>>28844057
>be at the town dog-park, sans blind guy disguise.
>Instead, you've painted Shining up as a dalmation with hair spraypaint and a stencil. It looks alright, other than the spots being all
>the same size, and "Brunette" instead of black. Right now he's chasing a frisbee you've thrown. He leaps- And catches it.
>Then throws it back. You take off and dive for it, just managing to grip the thing.
>The other humans and their dogs do their own things, completely ignoring your talented pet.
>Twirling, you release a low one that floats high, then arcs. He barrels after it, neatly leaping a basset hound, and catches it.
>Back it comes. You miss, stumbling, but recover. The game continues on until you begin to notice Shining's spots starting to run.
>You wave him in.
>He's panting and sheened in sweat. "What's up man?" he whispers.
"Your spots are coming off."
>"Oh. Shit."
>Clipping on the leash, The two of you make your way back home.
>Taking off his collar, your nose wrinkles. "You stink!"
>"So do you!" You check. "Oh, yeah. OK I get first."
>"You'll use up all the hot water."
"So, just wait until it's hot again."
>"You want me to get spots all over the furniture while I'm waiting?"
"Point. Ok get your ass in there."
>Firing up MegaMan, you relax.
"Heh. Another giant robot. Surprise surprise!"
>You liked the robots though. It was the monkey you could never get your head around.
>Shining walks out, slick but clean and de-stinkified. "Your turn!"
"Geez dude, at least put on a towel!"
>He sticks out his tongue at your feeble joke, as you pass him the controller on the way past.
>"Oh look! Another giant robot!" echoes down the hall after you. It was sort of a running gag when you'd play it together.

File: Good shit.jpg (27KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 600x600px

>>28844290

>>28802797
pet him and tell him he's a good pony

>>28844713
What if he develops an addiction to petting?

>>28845140
exacerbate his problem by petting him more and possibly booping him

>>28844290
Shark Week will continue once RL is dealt with.

>>28845194
>petting AND booping
Poor pone will have to spend years in rehab, only to never fully recovering from the addiction.

>>28845597
We always hurt the ones we love.

File: CookieCrook.png (115KB, 296x327px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 296x327px

>>28844290
>Be the middle of the night.
>Hear the jingle bells taped to the cardboard that's long since taken the place of your front window shaking madly, pop awake.
"What's that stupid horse doing now," you think, thumping an arm over to Shining's side to see if he's there.
>Your hand impacts a warm furry object that goes "Ow!"
"Shh! Get up. We got burglers." you hiss.
>That did it. Shining was over you and out of bed and equipped with your samurai sword in his magical grip at ready in a hot second.
>Sometimes you forget he's a military- Uh, person.
>You roll out too, put on some undies, slide your AR out from under the bed, and chamber a round.
>Creeping over to your door, you open it slowly.
>You can hear some kind of ignorant grunting, a sort of proto-language.
>You and Shining nod to one another, creeping out and down the hall. The living room lights are on.
>entering the room, you see two absolutely huge troglodytes. You note they've got your TV halfway off the wall.
>They drop what they're doing, and aim a pair of cheap, fat pistols at you and Shining. The guns light up with Shining's magic.
>Shining squints and a pair of blue rings shoot off his horn, ringing their heads like a game of horseshoes.
>"You are apprehended in the name of the Equestrian guard! Any attempt to resist or flee will result in death!" he shouts.
>One shouts, as both begin aiming and shaking their guns at Shining. One tries beating at the energy ring around his
>neck with his, then both bolt out the wreckage of the window.
>"Halt!! STOP!" Shining cries, as the sound of tire screeching takes place and a vehicle roars away.
"Wow. Nicely done!" you state, as Shining stands there, mouth hanging open, a haunted expression on his face.
>You start to straighten the nastily bent TV mount. It's gonna need some new screws, but you get the TV back on the wall straight enough for now.
>Beginning to tape the window cardboard back up, you worry about Shining.

File: Pop.jpg (36KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 300x300px

>>28846393
"What's wrong, man?"
>"Those burglers. I used a restraint spell that's fatal within minutes if it's not controlled. They're gonna die!"
"They'd have shot us both if you hadn't magic'd their shit and being all magical unicorny, you know."
>"Er, I guess..."
"So what's gonna happen?" you ask, eagerly.
>"It's going to pop their heads off at the neck."
"Ah."
>"Shouldn't we alert somebody? Save them?"
"One, they're still armed, two, they look just like the ones that stole my pinball machine-"
>"The bastards!"
"And three, what the hell would we tell anyone. I say we call it a night and wish them the best of luck."
>Shining digests that, still troubled, but finally swallows and nods.
>As you finish replacing your "window" and Shining continues to stand, frozen by indecision, the house is rocked by a far-off explosion.
>"There went the spells."
""Pop", eh?"
>"It's quite a pop, yes."

File: Nuke.jpg (30KB, 800x450px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 800x450px

>>28846427
>Soon the sound of machine-gun fire rings out, barely audible. The rattling and popping builds until it's like the fourth of July.
"I'm gonna tune in the scanner, let's see what's going on." you say, booting up the PC and loading the correct page.
"Got it."
>Unlike usual, the moment the player starts there is radio chatter.
>"pfft-Appears that the leader and top general of the crimsons were beheaded by the royals, tonight. Vics were found laying outside a vehicle."
>"We have crowds of suspects shooting at one another at multiple locations."
>"Need backup."
>"Two groups converging at the intersection"
>The two of you listen as the carnage unfolds, Shining chewing his bottom lip nervously.
"Don't sweat it, man. You made the world a better place, tonight."
>"Anon, sometimes I HATE your world."
>You just nod.
>The cheap, apocalyptic entertainment continued to pour from the scanner until with a "Thock! Tick tic tic" something hit the door.
>Opening it a bit and looking around, you peer down at the porch. There's a spent bullet laying there, slightly scratched from it's journey
>but mostly undamaged. You grab it and close the door. It's still warm.
>"That's what you gotta look out for, the bit that comes outta the barrel from the cartridge." you say, showing Shining.
>He'd never quite gotten the whole cartridge versus bullet thing down right.
>"Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>"I want to go back to bed now. And cast a super thick shield around it."
>You couldn't argue with that.

File: Gaynbow.gif (423KB, 500x370px) Image search: [Google]

423KB, 500x370px

>>28846446
>Be day 6 of Shark Week
>Be asleep
>Hear a tinny but somehow lovely rendition of Old Fashioned Love Song, or a close variant, playing in a buzzy manner.
>You feel oddly chilled.
>The music slowly becomes annoying. Eyes still closed, you reach out and paw around on your bedside table until you locate the source of the
>noise. Bringing it up to your face, you crack your eyes halfway open.
>It's your survival mirror. "Bitch must be feeling better." you think, swiping a finger across it.
>The room illuminates, yet you're still staring at a black rectangle.
"Shining? Are you there, Shi- Aieeeeee!! Shining, noooo!"
>There is a sobbing noise, then the light goes out with a click.
"What the fuck!"
>You lower the mirror. Shining is asleep, facing away from you, his breath warming your right ankle.
>You find that the blanket somehow got pulled down when he crawled over, he's straddling you, his tail draped across your thigh.
>Worst of all, his big, smooth, pink horse-balls are laying there atop your hairy pair like four eggs in a nest. TOUCHING.
"ARRRGHHHHHHH!!" you shout, face contorted in dread.
>His head pops up, peering around until he stares back and sees your face.
>Then he stares at where he's sitting.
>"Great Celestia's Tits!" he shouts, leaping painfully off of you and cowering in a corner.
>The two of you stare at each other suspiciously, wary of the other making any sudden move.
"Fag!"
>"Queermo!"

File: OP.jpg (16KB, 350x347px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 350x347px

>>28846782
>Another mexican standoff. Your eyes never leaving his, you slide slowly out of bed and dress. Shining blinks.
"Rump-ranger!"
>"Ass spelunker!"
"I knew it! I'm gonna get a kevlar butt-vest for when you're around!" you accuse.
>"Oh yeah? Well I'm not taking the ass part of my armor off, ever again in case you show up!" he replies.
>Another staredown happens. You decide to try to be diplomatic.
"It's possible that this happened by accident."
>Shining nods desperately.
"We could just-"
>"Never speak of this again?" he adds, hopefully.
"Exactly."
>"Yes! That! Let's do that!"
"There's just one problem."
>"What?"
"Your wife saw."
>His face became an artistic study, most resembling the face in the painting "The Scream".
>"H-How?"
"She called, I was asleep, and I answered the goddamn mirror facing backwards."
>He collapses, holding his muzzle in his hooves. "I'm ruined. I'll never be able to face the troops again, once this gets out. She's probably
>printing up full-color fliers of the screen right now."
"Maybe not. I think she's over her shit!"
>A hoof lifts, and an eye peers out. "Gimme that mirror!" he yelps, bounding over.
>One very long, awkward conversation later, one in which you were forced to participate, and Shining is back to normal.
>More or less, so is his wife, but only after many reassurances.

File: Waffles.jpg (136KB, 1024x682px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 1024x682px

>>28846790
>Be eating toaster-waffles left over from the shopping trip in your living room with Shining.
>"And that's that. Once she's over her shit, all she remembers is everybody running away, none of the bad stuff."
"Sort of like selective amnesia, then."
>Shining gives you the spock eyebrow. "Whatever that is, yeah. So she gets back to normal, the castle's more or less deserted, and she gets
>super lonely, real fast. So I gotta head back sometime soon."
"Well man, it's been fun like always. I'll miss ya until next time."
>"Yeah, me too. And I'm going to have to try to explain why her best frying pan is bent over the top step of the castle entrance, she won't remember a thing about that."
"Too weird."
>"Too right it is. Best I can tell though, it's not that strange. I mean, it's strange alright, but it's not strange for mares in general."
>You nod. Your experience with women was limited, but sufficient to provide insight.
"Ya know, Anon, I'm not the same homeless shivering pony you found, all those months ago. I eat your food, I use your stuff. Let me help offset the cost. I know you guys use that paper stuff for cash, but some of it's coin. Can you sell one of these for anything?" he says, levitating you one Equestrian Bit.
>You bounce it in your palm. "About three ounces?" "At least, I imagine." "Pure gold?" "Twenty-four karat." "This is worth nearly four thousand bucks, here. Of course I gotta melt it and make little bars or something, I'm sure you don't want Equestrian money circulating here."
>"Not that it matters I'm sure, but go ahead, whatever you need. Four grand, really? It's worth about a tomato in Equestria, seeing as how common gold is there."
"Well it certainly offsets a whole lot, thanks, man!"
>"I'll give ya one every time, OK?"
"Fine by me!"

File: thats_all_folks.jpg (131KB, 1024x718px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 1024x718px

>>28847024
>"Welp, I guess I better call her and tell her I'm coming home."
>You fetch the mirror, and he makes the call.
>"You ready to come back from Anon's, honey? comes Cadance's sweet voice.
>"Yes sweety-flank, I'm about to portal."
>"Thank goodness. Flurry Heart is up in the rafters and won't come down. I think she's been eating the houseplants to survive. She wants Daddy."
>"Tell her Daddy's on his way."
>"I'll have the royal de-lousers on standby for you. No offense, Anon." She winks at you.
"None taken."
>The mirror clicks dark again.
>You toss the paper plates and stuff in the trash, as Shining gets up and stretches.
>"I guess this is where I say, ad-doo."
"Yeah man, keep in touch! See ya next time!"
>Shining's horn sparkles very brighty, the livingroom walls all seem to flex inward as he squints in concentration, then in a rush of wind
>he's gone.
>You peer at the coin in your hand, fire up Ebay, and order some small graphite bar-molds.
>Life is looking up!

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.
-Aganon

Aww. That's actually kinda sweet.

>>28847038
Thank you anon. That was great.

do not boop the guard horse

>>28802797
make him go away

File: Shark Week.png (2MB, 2651x5732px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2651x5732px

>>28847038
Just so you'd know I capped all this and it's ready to be reposed indefinitely. Your work shall not be lost in time.

this is the first what do thread that I didn't hide

File: RarePepe.gif (1MB, 305x360px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 305x360px

>>28848115
You are a god! Thank you.

>>28845597
No rehab for Shiny, but he will get cuddles and ear scratches to further compound his problem.

>>28848047
guard horses are for booping

>You wake up with an unfamiliar breathing mass in your bed.
>You explore this with your eye's closed because it's the sun's job to pry them open.
>It seems to be a furry quadruped.
>Rocket has been dead for 4 years, so it's not your dog.
>Make that quintruped, a veiny quintruped. This leg seems to have no fluff on it.
>The mass moves and your hand feels like it's fallen a sleep and being puled fro the leg.
>"Um, let go of my penis, creature."
>Hah, talking dog dicks aren't this long, you've done your research!
"You cant fool me talking dog, this aint' no peen!" You give it a shake to make your point.
>"UUee~waht the fuck!" the talking dog says before something throws you from the bed.
>It's no sun, but the feeling of falling is enough to open your eyes.

>>28847038
Very good job, writefag. A fun read. Is there a bin for this/any other stuff from you?

>>28851155
i await

>>28851155
>You adjust your eye's to light and see a blue haired unicorn shrinking away from you on your bed.
>so the taking dog is really a unicorm?
>Yeah you still need to wake up. Alas, as you try to get back into bed with your talking unidog, he blasts you back with magic.
>How rude.
>"I-I'm warning you y-you whatever you are!"
"You're a unicorn and you're questioning what human is?" Then it hits you, it all made sense, but lets hear the guy out.
"Human?"
>ん、人間だぜ。
>"Where the hell am I?"
"My bedroom."
>"Where is your bedroom?"
"America."
>"What the fuck is an America?"
"See you're fitting right in already."
>"Why were you attempting to... manually release me?"
>There was the question you were looking for. "I thought it was a leg, because it's big." you utter bluntly.
>The unicorn uses more magic to be able to blush through fur.

>>28852327
>The flustered horse clears his throat and covers his fifth leg. Well my /wife/ thinks so too.
"Wife? So you come from sort of all unicorn utopia?"
>"That's what my father would have wanted, but I have no problems with other ponies."
>k
>"I never caught your name human"
"Anonymous Name Withheld, or Anon for short. What's yours long dick?"
>"Shining" he mutters blushing again. "Now that we know each other, what do we do?"
>You stand and approach your bed. "Seeing as it's 2 in the morning, I'm gonna go to back to sleep."
"You're welcome to stay if you like." With that you lift the blanket, lay underneath and shimmy into comfort.
>Your unicorn friend weighs his options, he stands up as if he's about to leave but circles like a dog and lays down with his head resting at your midsection.

File: look what you fukcing did.jpg (23KB, 449x317px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 449x317px

>>28802957
>force shining to stab his horn into your temple while you sleep
>he awakes well rested and covered in blood and viscera
>your gray matter amplifies his autism magic
>his face when

>>28851307
One other, yes. I used to green for the Edgy threads and had a long-running comedy about an Anon In Equestria who arrived as a real bad OC. It was called An Anonymous Object In Equestria.

http://pastebin.com/u/aganon

>>28805407
What's "The image" I don't browse this board often

File: shining.png (462KB, 614x477px) Image search: [Google]

462KB, 614x477px

>>28802797
let him fuck my ass with his big throbbing black meatshaft while he's sliding his large wet tongue deep in my mouth from behind
>I bet his saliva is delicious

>>28802797
Ask if I can fug his sister

>>28852742
Gadzooks! It's you! I loved AOiE! I'm still waiting for that final thread.

>>28854116
Aw I hoped somebody out there remembered that! Yeah actually this was a bit of a warm up, I've been hashing over how to resurrect it- Just to finish it of course but it's still gotta make sense. I'll do it "soonish" once I've given it a read-over.

>>28854379
Take your time, a good green deserves a good ending.

>>28853985
>Not fucking his ass
what are you gay?

File: wd.gif (2MB, 480x262px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 480x262px

>>28852721

>>28852862
https://derpibooru.org/201515

>>28856978
I didn't even read the previous posts and I knew what that was gonna be before it loaded

>>28855838
>not wanting to be his slutty little fucktoy
You're such a faggot, anon.

>>28846782
>his big, smooth, pink horse-balls are laying there atop your hairy pair like four eggs in a nest. TOUCHING.
"ARRRGHHHHHHH!!" you shout, face contorted in dread.

Truly, a high point in human literature.

>>28852644
>You awake the next morning pleasant surprise.
>No not /that/ pleasant you just met the guy.
>He's still resting his head on your gut and letting out the cutest little horse noises.
>That's when you notice his legs twitching, he must be chasing something it his dream.
>"nnn~no"
>Looks like you're not the only one who talks in their sleep.
>"nn~stop p-put me down." Shining tenses up.
>You want to help, but you know better than to wake someone from a nightmare.
>"no don't, It's not gonna~aaAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-!" he jolts awake.
>He's heaving with tears in the corners of his eyes. The poor thing.
"Hey hey hey, you're alright, you just had a bad dream ." you say to him softly.

>>28858553
This one is turning into a comfy little story too, enjoying it here.

>>28802797

>>28858553
two greens one thread
truly this is a peak in /mlp/

>>28858553
Poke poke.

>>28858553
>He flinched at the sound of your voice but after he remembered where he was, he calmed down.
>Sort of.
>You slowly reach toward him, and pet his withers. His breathing returned to normal and you wipe his eyes.
"Let's go get some breakfast shine."
>sniff "Ok"
>You roll off of the bed and head for the kitchen with shining following behind you.
"So we got pancakes, eggs, bacon, and I think there's oatmeal in the pantry." you say browsing your fridge.
"......I like pancakes"
"One stack of pancakes comin' up!" you pull the batter out of the fridge and prep your station.
"Go ahead and have a seat at the table."
>You carefully watch the thin coating of grease for ripples. With a test drip you know the grease is ready.
"So where ya from shine?"
>"The cr- Equestria."
"so like, the land of horses?"
>"Ponies."
>Well excuse me, I mean you.
>Oh crap you nearly forgot.
"What do you want to drink? I've got water, milk, OJ, tea."
"Tea would be nice."

>>28861483
>tea
I see where this is going.

>>28802797
Exterminatus

>>28802797
Holy Shit! A talking horse!

>>28802797

Aaaand how will i explain that seeing this thread spawned his existence, i have no idea.

>>28802797
tongue-fuck his ponut

>>28803655

I had a laugh. Thanks.

>>28860245
Let's go for three.

File: op.png (94KB, 911x494px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 911x494px

>>28847038
Amazing green, best all week that I've taken the time to read.

>>28861483

You better write more, my good sir.

>>28861483
This is some bomb ass tea anon

There I finaly got to use that line

>>28864783
Thanks, OP! Sometimes a straightforward prompt premise such as yours is best. Poof! Shining! What do! Can transport a person's imagination.

>>28802797
>Suddenly a 6' tall talking magic stallion is in my small, dark af room.

I'd probably club him over the head with the first blunt object within an arm's reach while making this noise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwP47xAZmBs

>>28866621
>You club the pone.
>You now have injured K.O.'d pone in your room.
>What do?
He's not going to be happy when he wakes up with a pounding headache.

File: nb.jpg (292KB, 1423x2136px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 1423x2136px

>>28866621
>6' tall
>headcanon

>>28861483
>You lay a tray with a tall stack of johnny flaps on the table.
>You pour Shining's tea.
>Onto the table
>No you don't, shut up.
>Then you pour yours.
>Your horsey friend salivates as you stack your perfectly prepared pancakes onto his plate.
>Poor thing must be starving.
>He notices you noticing him drooling and composes himself. He goes for the tea first like a polite little stallion.
>His sipping turns into furious slurping. Judging by his technique, his wife must be missing him.
>" This is some scrumptious tea anon.
>You're some how disappointed by his word choice.
"Are you a syrup pony or a honey pony?" you ask him while holding up the bottles.
>"I'll take the Syrup" he says with his horn aglow.
>The bottle in your hand glows and uncaps itself over shining's pancakes.
>Oh yeah, unicorns are magic.

Not dead yet.

>>28802797
steal his maid outfit and fuck him in the ass while wearing it, maintaining eye contact to establish dominance.

Page NEIGHne

>>28868309
Should this anon be male or female? The way I've written them so far, it could go either way.
I'm leaning towards female because I think shining would be more comfortable around a female stranger

>>28871347
"more comfortable" certainly opens more possibilities.

>>28871347
Femanon is always good.

>>28871347
Female

>>28802797
PAGE 10 BUMP FOR SHINING ARMOR