Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>28737281
First for succulent pillow teats

>>28737313
Comfiest 69 you will ever be apart of.

>>28737281
>anon becomes a singer
>he just copies songs from earth
>is put into a mental horsepitle shortly after his first show

whoever writes it can decide what he sang and the pones initial reactons

>>28737387
>his songs are written off as coltish whimsey
>while in the meantal horspitle he has to have his dick milked to cure the whimsy

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>>28737313
>ywn fall asleep with your head rested on your mare's plump and soft teats.

>>28737313
>>28737477
>anon gets his dick milked while the nurse comforts him

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>"You colts want big, pillowy teats? Ask any zebra mare, and we'll show you what you seek."

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Succubus when?

>>28737515
getting your dick sucked by a succubus would be amazing because they have great tongue control and dexterous lips

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>Archaic Luna being innocent and confused around colts
>First night after marriage with Anon
>Too embarrased to talk about it
>Everyone hears her moans via her Traditional Canterlot Voice

-----
>"Husband, why art thou putting thy lips on mine marehood? Th-That's there thine p-p-stallionhood goes!"
-----
>>"Did you make an honest stallion out of Anon, Lulu?"
>"H-he made a mare out of us..."
>"At least five times, yeah, we all heard. But did you make a stallion out of him?"
>"But... He already has a stallionhood, we did not need to create one for him."
-----
>"Sister why art thou giving our husband so much fruit to eat?"
-----
"One for the pink, one for the stink."
>"One in the wh-OH FAUST"
alt
"B-but we poop from there..."
"Not tonight, you don't."
-----
>"Th-Thou art not our foal, husband... why did thou put thine lips on my teaheaaaheaaaahhh"

>>28737546
YO, ANON! GOT THAT NEW PART FOR US?! IT BETTER BE SICK!

>>28737477
that feel
the warmth from both her breasts and nethers keeping you cozy

>>28737546
Get on it LaP.

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Herd of kissless, virgin nerds who would do anything because of their desperation to get stallion before they turn too old.

>>28737724
No you

>>28737761
This appeals to my desperate loneliness.

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>>28737761
I would make every single one of them feel more loved than they ever have.

>>28737546
I want more of this.

So . . . I'm not dead. I swear. I'm putting something together for Halloween, but it might be shit, and it's not exactly RGRE. By which I mean it's not RGRE at all. Do you guys want it here or somewhere else? It'd go in AiE, but that thread is . . . well, shit. I'm not gonna sugarcoat that turd.

Anyway, meager Dadnon update, day 'we stray further from the original prompt with every passing line, but don't worry, it's coming back around'

Fuck, I dunno where my last post was, so, umm, Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/4FTQmPf8

Nvm, found link

>>28699890

>You exhale slowly, and try and figure out the best way to defuse this bomb.
>Damn the american public education system, you only covered literal bomb diffusal and active shooter situations in high school.
“Yes?”
>The door creaks open, and you hastily bunch the covers up over your . . . wait a minute you’re a guy.
>You let the covers drop, but keep your hands firmly in your lap.
>There’s a small, also white equine with a far lighter lavender stripe of curly mane standing in your doorway quite abashedly.
>Next to her floats a neatly folded suit.
>”I umm, brought you your clothes . . . Rarity burned the others.”
>She idly paws at the ground, and only makes fleeting eye contact with you before examining the finishing nails in the floor with a profound intensity.
“Thank you.”
>Your tone is measured, and careful.
>Why the hell would Rarity send her up here after all this?
>The suit levitates over onto the bed with a quiet tinkling sound.
>Fuckin unicorns.
>Wait no-
>”So . . . are you gonna put them on?”
>Wait . . . what?
>You look long and hard at the little filly.
>Phrasing, lord above the PHRASING.
“Yes?”

>>28737911
>That wasn’t supposed to be a question, but as her eyes flicker up again, and you see the scarlet on her cheeks, you realize that you may not be the molest-er . . . you might just be the molest-ee.
>You don’t like those eyes.
>It’s the same way you’d look at a prime rib cooked to perfection.
>It’s the way a wolf looks at a deer.
>It’s the way David Cameron looks at pigs.
>You don’t like those looks, especially when you’re the pig-deer steak.
>The suit levitates a little closer to you, dropping back down onto your lap.
>You swear you feel that magic field tingle across your leg as it dissapates.
>”Well . . . there it is.”
>Yeah, no. This isn’t gonna happen.
“Would you kindly close the door?”
>The hope rushes out of her like a deflating balloon.
>”Yeah . . . “
>She slouches as she says it, and lets out a quiet sigh before turning around, and closing the door behind her.
>Oh wow . . . that’s . . . kinda heartbreaking.
>What the hell Anon, that’s like a six year old girl that wants to perv on you and you’re feeling guilty because she’s sad you’re not gonna let her?
>You’re half flattered, actually.
>This is . . . definitely not okay.
>Nope, not dealing with this, not now, not ever.
>You slide out of bed, and begin to don your new clothes.
>And they are some fine threads if you do say so yourself.
>But you don’t because the 90’s are over and nobody says ‘threads’ when referring to clothing anymore.
>Evolution of language aside, the clothes are way nicer than anything you’ve worn before.

>>28737920
>It’s tailored; snug without being constricting.
>It’s sleek; fashionable without being flashy.
>It’s comfortable . . . just really comfortable. Is this silk?
>Your boys downstairs are going absolutely wild for what you assume have to be some kind of silk or satin briefs.
>You look and feel a whole new man in these.
>As you turn to head for the door, you hear the rapid clatter of hooves on hardwood.
>You also notice that there’s a keyhole big enough that you could literally drive a truck through it.
>Hotwheels, but a truck none the less.
>You begin to groan internally, but, you know what, screw it. You tried, right? That’s gotta count for something.
>The latch is a bit lower than you’re expecting, but then you realize that head height for everyone else here is roughly the perfect height to hit you square in the junk.
>Mental note: Don’t get in a fight here
>Mental note two: Too late, already did, kicked lovecraftian ass
>You step out of your little guest room and into what looks like a better homes and garden catalogue.
>Damn. This place is waaaay nicer than your apartment.
>Tastefully bland paintings hang on the walls, a lavender rug runs the length of the hallway over a hardwood floor, and every brass fixture in the house is polished to a shine.
>It has a pleasant blend of modern aesthetic sense, and rustic, old fashioned construction.
>Stephen King could pick this house up, drop it somewhere in New England, and you’d believe it had a two hundred year history.
>You’re shaken from your architectural musing by the sound of silverware clattering downstairs.
>” . . . told you to take it easy!”
>That’s definitely Rarity.
>You make your way downstairs, stepping over a cat that had placed itself just perfectly at the foot of the stairs to have its tail stepped on.
>It gives you a baleful glare as you step over it, like it wanted you to step on it.

>>28737929
>You round the corner and enter the main room, overflowing with equinnequins, dresses, and brilliant fabrics studded with enough gems to make De Beers hire shady paramilitary companies with international charters to guard the place.
“Gonna have to ask about that . . .”
>You mutter to no one in particular.
>”Sorry Rarity, just, it’s reflexive.”
>That was definitely Twilight . . . when’d she get here?
>You duck to enter the small kitchen, and find three very surprised ponies inside.
“Hey, did I sleep through breakfast?”
>You offer warmly, trying to speak softly.
>Last time you’d had a conversation with more than just Twilight they seemed to spook pretty easy.
>Well, except for the little one.
>You glance at Swootie Ball . . . the tiny white one, whatever.
>Yeah, she’s got the hungry eyes aimed at your junk.
>Fuck.
>”Oh, you’re up, good.”
>Rarity smiles, and takes a few steps toward you.
>”Twilight was released just a few hours ago. It’s nearly noon now.”
>You balk.
“What? Really?”
>Twilight and her nod in unison.
>Sweary Bowl bobs her head up and down . . . and pokes her cheek with her tongue as she does it.
>Rarity does a double take as she finally notices the sheer lewdness of her younger sibling.
>Unicorns are very sensitive to lewdness apparently.
>She scowls.
>”Yes, and with you up, you may take care of Twilight while I return my sister to our parents . . . early.”
>Her eyes narrow as she says it, into a laser like death-glare.
>White Lavender Pervert doesn’t notice, and continues to wiggle her eyebrows at you as she is telekinetically dragged from the room by her older sibling.
>Twilight winces visibly.
>Paternal instinct: ENGAGE

>>28737911
OH SHIT WHAT
HE ISNT DEAD

>>28737940
>Oh hey a subsystem successfully engaged for once.
>You drop to one knee, and examine her for any obvious source of discomfort.
>You rest one hand on her withers as you look her over.
>Besides what appears to be a series of bandages wrapped around her horn, you don’t see much.
“Are you alright?”
>Your face twists with worry, and your heart drops, laden with concern.
>She nods, an expression of discomfort still prominent.
>”Yeah . . . just, that was . . . really awkward.”
>You let out a bit of a relieved chuckle.
“Yeah, at least I’m not gonna terrify that one.”
>She gives you an odd look, her face scrunching with confusion.
>”Terrify?”
>God that was adorable.
“Yeah . . . back at the hospital. You know, everyone was freaking out, kinda froze, angry staring . . . even you were a little bit.”
>She turns a very interesting shade of scarlet at that.
>Your heart is nearing its seizing point, you’re not sure this level of cute should be allowed in a civilized country.
>”That’s . . . question, what kind of olfactory acuity do humans possess?”
>Now it’s your turn to have your brow furrow in confusion.
“What? Umm, well, relative to most other creatures pretty terrible I suppose.”
>What does that have to do with anything though? Is what you want to follow it up with, but you’re cut off.
>”Well . . . that wasn’t anger. Or terror. Well, maybe a little envy, but . . .”
>She sighs.
>”It seems that you exude a very particular or perhaps even unique blend of pheromones that interact with equine physiology in a very . . . very potent fashion. Most other creatures utilize scent as the primary means, or at the least a substantial contributor when it comes to matters of communication . . . or attracting mates.”
>You blink twice, still baffled as to the hard left turn the conversation took.
>She lets out a little huff and closes her eyes tight.

>>28737953
I feel like I've been alive and dead so many times that neither really applies anymore.

>>28737954
>”Alright, I’ll just come out and say it. Your body . . . secretes . . . compounds that make the averageponyveryaroused.”
>She blurts out the last few words all strung together, and slowly shrinks in on herself as she does so.
>It’s so distractingly precious that you almost miss what it is she says.
>You don’t, unfortunately.
“Oh.”
>Well . . . the way you smell makes tiny-horses wanna jump your bones.
>You suddenly notice that your hand is resting on your daughter.
>OH.
>You quickly withdraw.
“I umm . . . ehh . . .”
>You stumble over yourself, a stuttering mess.
>If you’re accidentally encouraging some kind of weird father daughter incest thing-
>”It’s okay Anon, apparently it doesn’t work on me.”
>She coughs, and it sounds oddly like ‘mostly’, but you can’t be sure.
>You let out a sigh of relief before slumping to a seated position, leaning up against the cabinets beneath the kitchen sink.
>Holy shit this has been awkward.
>”When you were in the hospital with me . . . they ehh . . . weren’t angry. They were jealous of Rarity . . . whom you were holding.”
>And it continues to get worse.
>”So, that’s . . . why all of that.”
>Both of your faces are bright red, and neither of you can make eye contact.
“So . . . the thing with Rarity’s sister?”
>Twilight shakes her head.
>”No, that’s just fillies being, well, young fillies.”
>You nod, making sure to examine the intricate pattern of tiling that ran across the kitchen floor.
>Twilight lets out another muffled cough, and you rub the back of your neck.
>This entire thing is pretty much the most cringe worthy experience of your life.
>On the one hand, you make the ladies crazy for you.
>On the other hand, all of those ladies are horses, and a third your size, maybe half, tops.
>You need a drink.
>A really, really stout drink.
>For about three days.

>>28737988
>Twilight idly draws a hoof through the grout patterns of the floor.
>She’s doing the same thing as you, just physically, instead of mentally.
>You suppress a chuckle.
>Like father like daughter.
“So . . .”
>You endeavor boldly to break the awkward silence, but don’t have anything to really back it up with.
“ . . . breakfast?”
>You gesture over toward the table.
>Twilight lets out a relieved sigh.
>”Yeah, how about lunch?”
>She throws a subtle nod toward the window, revealing the sun high in the sky.
>You nod silently, and stand, straightening out your . . . damn this suit is classy looking.
>She smiles, her ears perking up as she trots over to a set of saddlebags embossed with the same symbol that adorns her flank.
>Her horn flickers to life, and the bags stir slightly.|
>Before they move, however, she lets out a gasp of pain, dropping forward as one of her legs gives out.
>Your paternal instinct system seems to have been unphased by the awkwardness, and you find yourself swooping in to save her before you even realize what’s going on.
>”Oww . . .”
>She gingerly presses a hoof to the base of her horn, and you can see a weak halo of purple light flickering around the protrusion.
>”Right . . . no magic use.”
>She grins sheepishly.

>>28737995
>”I’m fine, really, let me just grab my bags and we’ll go out to get something.”
>You back off, but a flicker of worry runs through you, regardless of her assurances to the contrary.
>She bends down to pick up the bags in her teeth, and tries to fling them over her shoulder, but after a few quite frankly embarrassing tries, she lets out a snort of frustration.
>Taking the bags in hand, you gingerly drape them across her back.
“Rarity did ask me to take care of you, after all.”
>She looks away from you, slightly uncomfortable, apparently torn between protesting at being treated like a child, and thanking you.
>In the end, she just smiles at you weakly with a nod, and canters toward the door.
>”Buck!”
>She curses and stumbles as her horn flares again.
“ . . . Let me get the door.”
>She nods, her eyes screwed up tight as she grits her teeth against the pain.
>You open the door, and gesture for her to go through.
>”Ladies first . . .”

>>28738000


>You are Queen Cel-
>Wait whoops, freudian slip there . . . Princess Celestia.
>And you’re really, really tired of court.
>Your sister has been in her room far too long, you understand that she combats the nightmares of ponies across Equestria, but it’s past noon at this point, and she does it all while sleeping.
>You sign another treasury expenditure release form with a sigh.
>You muse on how much easier it’d be if you could set people on fire who disobeyed . . .
>Shaking your head briskly, you banish the thought.
>Apparently the corruption affected you as well.
>Perhaps even more strongly than most, as you possessed an abundant magical presence.
>Ehh, haven’t been worried in a thousand years, not gonna start now.
>You shrug to yourself as you levitate another stack of papers over.
>The paperwork for the cleanup had occupied most of the morning, but it looked like a solid solution was in place. A few dozen collection crystals in key locations, keyed to certain harmonic frequencies would act as traps for the exotic particles, and keep them suspended within their lattice, and could then be stored safely for, well, ever.
>Not the best solution . . . but not the worst either.
>Definitely the cheapest.
>You wince as you look at how many zeroes are on the next treasury request form.
>Gonna have to postpone that order of new golden armor for your personal harem-
>You mean guard.
>Personal guard.
>Just, very athletic, fit, and aesthetically appealing all male personal guard.
>You levitate over a cool glass of water from a nearby tray of refreshments.
>Yeah . . . that’s all.
>Your little fantasy moment is rudely interrupted by a frazzled looking aid.
>One of Luna’s you think.
>”Princess Celestia! Come quickly, there’s been an incident involving your sister!”
>This had better be good . . .

>>28738007

>You’re still Celestia.
>And, ‘incident’ was a massive understatement.
>This place was a disaster.
>Faint sobbing echoed from inside the bathroom.
>The place looked like a tornado went through it, and up-chucked up on the bed while it was at it.
>You tentatively canter across the room to the slightly ajar bathroom door.
“Luna . . . are you alright in there?”
>The sobbing is half stifled, half gasping, almost entirely covered by the sound of the shower running full blast.
>There’s no answer.
>You take the initiative, and push the door open, striding in to find your sister curled up in the fetal position on the shower floor, her eyes bloodshot and pupils shrunk to pinpricks.
>Her feathers are skewed every which way, and it looks like she might have sprained one of her wings in a fit of thrashing.
“Sweet Solaire . . . what happened to you?”
>You turn off the shower, and magic up a towel to wrap tightly around your sister as you help her to her hooves.
>”It’s still here . . . one was evil, sadistic, and cruel . . . but what remains is worse.”
>She stutters it out, her lips even bluer than usual from the near frozen shower.
>The castle drew its water from the snowmelt on the mountain, and couldn’t be more than 40 degrees fahrenheit.
“What? Luna, you’re not making sense.”
>She lunges at you, seizing you bodily by the shoulders.
>”THERE IS A HERALD OF A PLACE THAT EVEN TARTARUS FEARS, HIS MADNESS AND BUTCHERY WILL MAKE THE STONE OF THE EARTH TREMBLE.”
>Eugh, royal Canterlot voice.
>She looks away from you with a thousand yard stare, practically foaming at the mouth.
>”I have touched his mind, and if but a fraction of his sickness is left within this realm . . . all that we cherish shall wither and die a most agonizing death.”
>Her eyes roll back and she faints, her body slumping against you.

>>28738014
>. . .
>Well then.
>Somebody had extra crazy flakes this morning.
“Fetch some servants to tidy the place up, and have her taken to my chambers to sleep off this . . . fit.”
>You command the aide that brought you here.
>With a flash of power, the two of you are now within your far more radiant and splendorous chambers.
>Levitating your younger sibling over to your bed, you briefly wonder if you should change the sheets first, but figure the servants can deal with it.
>You tuck her in quickly, before pondering her words.
>Probably wouldn’t hurt to pay Twilight a visit, make sure everything wasn’t as apocalyptic as Luna was suggesting.
>At the least, you get to have dinner without a bunch of nobles doing their best to impress, influence, or seduce you.
>You shudder.
>Noble bloodlines means inbreeding.
>Inbreeding means uggos.
>As you wander down toward the front gates, you spot one of your personal guard.
“Soldier, I want my chariot prepped and ready as soon as physically possible. I have business in Ponyville.”
>He salutes smartly, and flaps away with all the vigor he can muster.
>Sure, you could just teleport there.
>But, then you wouldn’t get to stare at some of the finest asses the military could produce for the next six hours.
>Choice makes itself really.
>Should change your name to “Thebestia.”
>Ehh . . . maybe not.
>Could be misread as having something to do with beastiality.
>A hyphen would fix it . . .


AAAH SHIT MY SHIFT STARTS IN 10 MINUTES

LIKE SUBSCRIBE COMMENT WHATEVER PASTEBIN IS FINALLY UPDATED PEACE

>>28738024
>AAAH SHIT MY SHIFT STARTS IN 10 MINUTES
good luck senpai

>>28737911
rip amphetanon we hardly knew ye

>>28738007
>>Apparently the corruption affected you as well.
>>Perhaps even more strongly than most, as you possessed an abundant magical presence.
>>Ehh, haven’t been worried in a thousand years, not gonna start now.

>inb4 everything with Celestia is fine and she resists corruption

>>28738024
>>. . .
>>Well then.
>>Somebody had extra crazy flakes this morning.
Thank you for avoiding the "Celestia irrationally hates Anon/the human because reasons" cliche. I'll love you forever, now.

>>28737911
>>Damn the american public education system, you only covered literal bomb diffusal and active shooter situations in high school.
kek

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>>28737940
Jeez man, this story's Sweetie is a little bundle of lewdness.

>>28738242
I just feel bad for Twilight. Her stepmom is going to be younger than her.

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>>28738285
what are you implying

>>28738308
Pinkie Pie is the clear winner here. With her bottomless sexual appetite and ability to turn anything into a sexual innuendo hue hue in YOUR endo, Anon won't stand a chance.

>>28738024
Ayyy. Good update, good green! Glad to see you're not ded.

Could you ping me at [email protected] ? I have recipes to share

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>>28737281
Spent a few minutes trying to color this OP in, and realized why I'm not an artist.

>>28738308
That Rarity is actually younger than Twilight.

>>28738326
it's actually fairly good dude. finish with the colours, add a little bit of shading and it will look nice.

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>>28732655
>And you fell.
>But as soon as you started something caught you.
>”Rainbow Dash!” It says as you look up and see a yellow Pegasus. But as soon as you do, you pass out.

>Be Fluttershy.
>You were out looking for Mr Bear when you saw Rainbow dash and the CMC carrying some animal.
>It seemed to be panicking about something so you followed her.
>You saw Rainbow Dash aapproach a cliff and go to drop it.
>So you flew as fast as possible to catch the poor thing.
>So here you are a passed out animal and a pack of ponies in very, VERY, big trouble.
“Rainbow! What were you thinking!”
>You ask in your most authoritative voice possible.
>Which is just your regular voice a little louder.
>”What he would have been fine.” Rainbow says, and you smell cider on her breath. “He would have just flown away.”
“Rainbow, you’ve been in Applejack’s hard cider haven’t you.”
>”Yah, but I’m fine, I only had… eight bottles!” She says raising her wings.
“Applebloom, Sweetiebell, Scootaloo, drag Rainbow Dash back home please. I’ve got to deal with this poor animal.”
>”Um, actually that ‘Animal’ is Anon.” Scootaloo says.
>Anon? Wait isn’t that Twilight’s new… oh, my.
>You don’t even want to know what Twilight would do if she found out about this.
“Just get Rainbow home and I’ll deal with this.”
>”Sooo, we ain’t in trouble?” Applebloom ask.

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>>28738337
>You simply look at her and she takes the hint.
>”Hey, let go of me! I can walk home o-“ Rainbow Dash began to protest but one glare later she stops.
>How are you going to get Anon home?
>What are you going to tell him?
>’Oh I’m sorry my drunk friend and three fillies were about to throw you over a cliff so I took you home.’
>You begin to attempt to fly with him and he’s surprisingly lite.
>You look down and see Mr bear lifting his legs.
“Thank you.”
>And so you begin to head home and think.

>Be Anon.
>You don’t remember shit.
>All you remember is a orange filly and passing out…
>”Oh, you’re awake!” A quite voice calls “How do you feel? Does anything hurt?” She ask as you look over to see a yellow Pegasus.
>Where have you seen her before?
“No, I’m fine thanks.”
>”Oh, that’s good, my name is Fluttershy. It’s very nice to meet you.” She says in a soft cute voice.
>So this is Fluttershy, she seems very nice.
>You wonder how you got here though.
“Nice to meet you I’m Anon.”
>You say holding your hand out.
>She jumps at first then takes your hand in her hoof and shakes it.
>The two of you make small talk for a bit.
>Finally she tells you about how you got here.
>”I found you in the middle of town passed out. Rainbow Dash and a couple of fillies were around you.” She says while looking away.
“Well thanks for taking me in. I still wonder how I passed out. That and where’s Twilight…”

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>>28738355
>Be Twilight.
>Page 1053. The fitness gram magic test is a-

>Be Fluttershy.
>”That and where’s Twilight… “ Anon says shocking you.
>She left him! What if something bad happened… well something bad did happen.
>But what if something worse happened!?
>Like what if some mare were to coltnap him and something worse happened!
>Anon and Twilight are lucky you found him before any bad mares did.
>I mean what if some mare were to force him down and rip of his clothes, revealing his chest while another holds him down.
>Then they tear of his pants and-
>NO! Bad Fluttershy! No naughty thoughts about a new friend!
>”Well I hope it’s fine if I stay here for a bit till she gets here.” Anon says knocking you out of thought.
“Of course you can.”
>The two of you sit there and talk for a bit more
>After a while you notice Anon’s canines.
>Is Twilight dating a carnivore!
>Hopefully she knows the dangers .
>Especially when… mating.
>How he could bite hold of you while he rams his massive-
>No! Bad!

>Be Twilight.
>You finally finished that book.
>With a flash of magic you teleport it to the castle and teleport yourself out.
>…
>Why didn’t you do that in the first place and read it back at the castle…
>Oh well, back to the task at hoof.

>>28738326
Be patient, full colour version is already in the works. But I really like that one, anon, Bon and Lyra especially (It didn't even occurred to me, I just drew random pons, but it fits perfectly)

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>>28738378
>What were you doing?
>Oh right! You were leading Anon to Fluttershy’s house.
>Wait, you were leading Anon to Fluttershy’s!
>You left your coltfriend alone for so long!
>What if something bad happened!
>Buck Buck Buck!
>You begin to run to town!

And that’s it for this update. Thanks for reading. If you see any spelling errors let me know. Feedback is appreciated. http://pastebin.com/Q7W22fjw
I forgot the name again...

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>>28738379
Pic related.

>>28737797
Please?

I know it not the right place to talking about.
A thief just stolen my iphone while i sleep. have password. but no icloud. what do?

>>28738406
Call your phone holder ' Verizon, sprint, ect' and tell them. They will
A. disable the phone.
or
B. Gps track it.

>>28738421
I don't understand.

>>28738406
>A thief just stolen my iphone while i sleep
Unless you're homeless or something, you should keep it in a gun safe.

>>28738242
i want to cum inside sweaty belt

>>28738496
>Urethral penetration

>>28738461
That fool is saying that he didn't understand, explain so that fool can understand as well.

>>28738470
I have a house (Wood). but i don't have a door.
>>28738516
Hey

>>28738406
Report to police, then get a gun and go nigger hunting.
Or in the case of RGRE grab a pain ball gun and go zebra hunting according to >>28737513 they have giant tits, making them slow and with large sensitive targets to hit.
Might as well fuck them when they are stunned

>>28738499
but why
she has a perfectly good vagina

>>28738554
Sorry, I misread that as "sweaty balls"

Back from hell. So how serious should my story be? From a scale of that queen umbra story to

>Holy Monkey Dick banishing all the demons

also who was editor anon I need your help

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>>28738516
Okay.
>>28738521
Okay so... You go service provider. You go ask them for help. Service provider go give you good help. You get new phone or old phone back.
Do you understand that?

>>28738392
It's shit. Kill yourself.

>>28738958
>>“Nice to meet you I’m Anon.”
Doesn't read naturally. It sounds like Anon is talking without any pause between "you" and "I'm".
>>a orange filly
Fuck me.

>>She jumps at first then takes your hand in her hoof and shakes it.
>>The two of you make small talk for a bit.
>>Finally she tells you about how you got here.
This could have been an enormous amount of exposition and could have worked to establish a believable relationship between Anon and Fluttershy.... but instead it lasted only three sentences.


I wouldn't say "kill yourself", but it's not great.

>anon inadvertently becomes the town dad
>many fillies and colts have parent herds without a stallion due to their scarcity
>stallions many times just pump and dump
>foals like rumble and applebloom only have their elder siblings as parental figures
>while sweetie belle and Diamond tiara are lucky enough to have both their parents

> anon just gets roped into taking care of the foals or even teaching a lot of things they don't normally learn in school
>sometimes Ms Cheerilee helps out or brings him along with class field trips
>more often than not he has to just in to keep the foals from doing something stupid
>ESPECIALLY the CMC

>he becomes increasingly desirable
>stallions are rare enough
>but a stallion that loves and is good with children?
>its like finding a book twilight hasn't read yet
>anon just loves being appreciated by the little ponies

>>28738392
Keep going
>>28738958
Your a faggot, your opinions don't matter.

>>28739249
>Your a faggot, your opinions don't matter.
>Your
Hi, HerdAnon.

>>28739249
>Being this triggered

>>28737281
Can we stop using these black and white images for the OP?
They're really hard to see in the catalog. I overlook them 99% of the time.

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>>28739308
>not haveing rgre open 24/7

>>28739308
I bet you browse reddit you filthy cuck

>>28739383
You're trying too hard, man.

>>28739774
I'm a leaf. Ily bby

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>>28739308
so you don't use ctrl+f "reversed" to find the thread? Also, the coloured version is coming, so...

So in RGRE short manes are the equivalent of our "girly?" Does that mean Shining Armor has the equivalent of a female buzzcut?

How would they view an Anon who has long hair?

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>>28739972
No.

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>>28739972
>How would they view an Anon who has long hair?

>>28737911
Please stay in this thread. I don't wanna go to AiE.

>>28739824
A fucking leaf

>>28738324
Email sent. I hid it under the subject line Re:Re:Fwd:Re:Fwd:Fwd:CROOKED HILLARY

>>28739073
I'm sorry, it was a bit rushed. I am trying to get better and these corrections DO help. My main fear with doing Fluttershy is that I'll fuck her up. She is a really hard character to write and i kinda said I'd post tomorrow, so i didn't want to postpone it. If i write more with Fluttershy, I'll try to do better.
>>28739249
Can do.
>>28739276
Do i really fuck up on your and you're? I know i did at first but i thought i stopped, I'm sorry.

>>28740290
kek

>>28737920
>>It’s the way David Cameron looks at pigs.
whoa now
toppest of topical keks

>not "...looks at dead pigs"

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>>28738242
>>28738329
>Anon has to fight against the lust of two cum colored cuties
I desperately want him to lose.

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>>28740707
anon shes just a little filly

>>28740725
A thirsty filly.

>>28740746
but a filly nonetheless

her eggs arent even ripe yet

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>>28740760
Mark on the rear, time to breed the dear.

>>28740789
They look like marshmallows. Pretty comfy.

>>28740789
>marshmallows preparing for breeding season

>>28740789
Every now and then I fiercely miss Hand-Made

>>28740789
>those THICK horns
unf

>>28738547
B-but anon, i don't have a gun. only have left is... my pant and toilet paper.

>>28740789
>Rarity is insecure about her horn chode and wears an extender.
>Trixie calls herself great and powerful because of her horn size.

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>>28741733
>Rarity's is extremely self conscious about her horn
>Has it filed constantly so it doesn't look like a filly's horn
Sharp horns are long, like Celestia's, r-right?
>Makes sure her mane and tail are perfect in hopes they distract from her horn
>Wears hats whenever she can
>Everypone notices
>Its why she is alone
>She cries about it at night sometimes
>Anon misses the hints that short horns are ugly
>Anon thinks it's cute
>Anon thinks she's cute
>They date
>Rainbow has to pay AJ 50 bits since Rarity isn't queer
>Good end

>>28741733
>>28741997
>Anon finds larger horns intimidating, what with the potential stomach stabbing
>Ponies think that Anon is using Rarity, playing on her insecurities
>So does Rarity

>>28739825
...why didn't we wait for the colored then?...
Also, putting out bnw oppics because "the locals will ctrlf" is like dressing in rags because true friends won't mind.
We're a big thread, we can afford to wear cool oppics.

>>28742466
Go ahead and provide them then.

>>28739308
Just highlight it already. That or >>28739344

>>28742417
Idea Prompt:

>Anon and Pone are in a genuinely loving relationship.
>Pone has some feature that makes them "ugly" to ponies.
>Anon wasn't raised in their culture and thinks it's cute.
>Ponies think Anon is just using Pone for money or as a joke.
>Pone starts to think so too.
>Anon is completely oblivious to this.
>Funny drama ensues.

Like maybe one of Fluttershy's wings has a naturally-occurring black splotch that she hides with lots of yellow make-up or something. That kind of stuff.

>>28742908
> Rarity
Short horn
> Twilight
One cutiemark is a little higher on the flank than the other
> Fluttershy
Has the occasional white feather
> Rainbow Dash
Small wingspan
> Applejack
Bigger than average hooves
> Pinkie Pie
Slightly upturned snout, used to be called "piggie pie" as a foal.

>>28742976
>Fleur
Practically has a stallions face. Does colt modeling on the side.
>Celestia and Luna
Also have colt faces and are oversized due to ancient genes. Cadence is the size of a "normal" alicorn.
>Spitfire
An extremely fluffy belly that grows back far too fast. Always tries to hide it with her flight suit or captain jacket.
>Bon bon
Almost flat teats. It's why she's always so grumpy.
>Lyra
Horn spirals the wrong way. Had a lot of trouble learning magic which she was teased for mercilessly.

>>28741997
>To Anon, certain physical traits on ponies mean nothing to Anon
>Short horn, long horn; clockwise spiral, counter-clockwise spiral
>To Rarity her horn is ugly and filly-like
>To Anon, there is literally nothing wrong with it

Need more Anon comforting ponies and not recognizing that certain physical characteristics make them other to other ponies

>>28743137
>anon has a herd of supposedly ugly mares
>does not care all ponies are equally cute
>but some mares like Spoiled rich look unappealing to anon
>even though she's said to be one of the most attractive mares in ponyville
pony beauty is based on how much of a cunt she is, the more of a cunty the pony, the less attractive she is to anon

>>28743299
So trixie and rainbow dash are basically supermodels?

>>28743339
rainbow dash is loyal and brash, so they cancel each other out

trixie only has the illusion on being "GREAT AND POWERFULL"

> Anon is roped into a guys night out
> The stallions talk about various defects in mares, declaring they would never a short horn, etc
> Anon hesitantly points out that Rarity's ass I pretty great
> Stallions ask him what the appeal is
> Anon wololos them to the ass side of the force
> Mares in town suddenly find themselves popular with stallions
> Pinkie Pie, so used to being the funny pudgy platonic party mare, finds stallions fighting over her
> Anon is eventually recognized as a local hero by the mares of Ponyville

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>>28742908
>>28742976
>>28743000
>>28743137
>You are Anon, and you are coming back home from work.
>You've grown wise to the way things work around here, and you sort of figured that some work just wasn't "for" you, according to certain ponies.
>APPLEJACK.
>You thought that working on a farm would be good, honest work, and had pleaded your case before Applejack.
>...and then Big Mac.
>Then Granny Smith.
>And, after being rejected by the Apple family matriarch, you turned to the littlest Apple of all and swallowed your pride.
>Free piggy-back rides for a month and all the Crusader assistance she could ever ask for.
>But no; when Apple Bloom confronted the family for you, the other Apples just thought that she had developed a crush on the new exotic, allegedly attractive, male.
>Now you work for Twilight as "Librarian's Assistant" (complete with tight sweater and sexy glasses with plain glass instead of lenses), bumping Spike down to a role that allows him to sleep in whenever he wants.
>Your little dragon friend still sneaks you gems sometimes.
>You know they're borderline worthless in Equestria, but 20-odd years of conditioning on Earth makes it hard to shake the notion that a ruby the size of your fist is insanely valuable.
>He's even begun calling your collection your "horde".
>The way the little guy's been looking at you lately makes you think he suspects you of being part-dragon.
>And then there was the time he slipped up and called you "Dad" in front of Twilight.
>Oh, God, you thought he was going to die of embarrassment.
>Believe it or not, that was actually what kick-started your and Twilight's relationship.
>Spike had already taken to calling Twilight "Mom" for the last little bit, and Twilight had used Spike's latest slip-up as an excuse to start dating you.
>Not that you can complain.
>When she isn't spilling spaghetti out of her saddlebags, Twilight is the sweetest mare you could ever ask for.

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>>28743647
>She has her bad days, just like everyone else, and it's a bit cringey when she calls you "m'lord" or gets offended on your behalf when some mare makes a dumb (if mildly sexist) joke.
>But, you know what?
>If you could wake up every morning, and the first thing you saw was her unruly mop of a purple mane....
>You'd be a happy man.

>Today had been a Daring Do release date.
>Ponies from all walks of life (and varying degrees of literacy) had flooded the library, hoping to borrow a copy of the newest novel from A.K. Yearling.
>After a long day of hard work, you finally went home.
>And by that, you mean you locked the front door and then walked upstairs to the house part of the library where you and Twilight lived.
>Your contemplations of what to make for dinner were interrupted when you found Twilight curled up on your bed, crying and holding a pillow over her head.
>The poor dear had heard ponies making fun of her horn down at the library today, and some insecurities popped up that hadn't made an appearance since she was in school.
>Apparently, stubby horns with a counter-clockwise spiral (as opposed to a clockwise spiral) were fairly ugly here in Equestria.
>She had been so miserable and terrified, worried that her coltfriend secretly thought that she was ugly.
>But you cuddled that little darling and did everything you could think of to reassure her that you loved her and absolutely nothing was wrong with her horn.
>You finished your cuddles and your lengthy tirade about how pretty she was by giving her a kiss on her horn.
>Once she was done shuddering and making a mess in your lap, you were informed that "horn worship" was apparently a thing here in Equestria.
>Needless to say, you did it again.
>And again.
>And again.
>When Twilight unlocked the doors to the library the next morning, she had a confident smile on her face that nothing could shake.

>>28743647
>>she had developed a crush on the new exotic, allegedly attractive, male

>Much like how traits that are attractive to ponies aren't necessarily attractive to Anon, Anon possesses traits that he does not like (overweight, ugly face, is extremely plain, w/e)
>Ponies don't understand why he thinks he isn't attractive

>>28743647
>>He's even begun calling your collection your "horde".
Now that's adorable.

>>28743658
>>Once she was done shuddering and making a mess in your lap
oh my

>>28744142
Female dragons, through VERY tlephone games word of mouth, come to find the "mateless" dragon male.
Anon usually has to fight them off, and Spike watches sometimes.

Twilight asks Spike why he's peeking into Anons room. He replies he's watching Anon wrestle a dragoness.
Twilight misunderstands, and rushes in, thinking he's found a hotter pussy than her.
She walks in on Anon giving the dragoness a german suplex.

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>>28744172
kek

he could just sit back and watch them beat the snot out of each other and tire themselves out

>>28744172
>Twilight thinks it's all an elaborate human mating ritual, then barges in and gives Anon a half Horatio Nelson

>>28743433
>wololos
thank god for urban dictionary

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>"Aww, they called you fat? Don't worry, Nonny. I happen to like a stallion with a bit of meat on his bones~"

>>28744787

>Pinkie has a BBS fetish
>Keeps trying to get Anon to put on weight.
>Anon considers getting a restraining order.

Hey EditAnon, you might want to look at your email. Just saying

>>28744841
>It's Hearth's Warming Eve
>Anon gets a present from Pinkie
>It's several boxes of chocolates

>"Hey, Nonny! Check it out, I made some special coffee for you!"
>Pinkie shoves a big mug of what appears to be nothing more than coffee with a lot of cream in it.
>You eye the creamy mixture with suspicion.
"What's in it?"
>Pinkie sits back on her haunches and happily lists off the ingredients, counting them on her hooves.
>"There's coffee.... and coconut oil.... and butter..."
>Dropped.

>>28744841
>"Come on, Nonners! I promise it's tasty!"
"Pinkie, I'm not sucking batter from a hose. That sounds like the plot of a bad fetish story."
>"Then I'll have to force you!"
"Pinkie, I'm three times your height and twice as heavy. Did you honestly think that would work?"
>"B-but it works on ApeAffinity!"
"Pinkie, those are stories. Even if you tried, I'd probably explode before I drank very much. Now come on, I know a couple bigger stallions who would absolutely love a mare like you."
>"Oh boy! Thanks, Nonny!"
And that's how stallionism was ended.

>>28744787
>Fat fetish
I regret posting this now. I just wanted a Pinkie who was lecherous and trying to take advantage of a situation where Anon was called fat.

>>28744893
>posts prompt
>gets mad when people follow through
Maybe you should stop posting for a while and have a good, long think about your life.

>>28744844
eyy lap
whatchu been up to nigga

>>28744913
>post prompt
>people immediately turn it into fetish fuel
>"dude why you complaining"

>>28744926
>every story involves anon denying pinkie
>"wtf this is fetish fuel"

>ITT: things not going your way

>>28744937
Fine, fine. I know when to fold'em. I take back what I said.

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its time to stop shitposting

post sunbutt

>>28744954
>still posting obesity
Stop. This thread is over. Someone make a new one without fetishshit

>le "everything is fetish" maymay

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>>28744966
dont you shitpost at me ya daft cunt

>>28744986
>>28744954

I'm want to kiss this horse on the lips and tell her she's pretty.

>>28744995
I want to pull her into my lap and lovingly dote on her after she's had a hard day at work.

>>28745030
I want to cum inside etc etc

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>>28744995
I want to squeeze her big, sunny hips.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psnAOfd58m4

>>28744880
>And that's how stallionism was ended.
this would be a barrel of laughs

>>28743433
>Be at your house playing SC2 with you stallion bros
>The superior PS2 version of course.
>The snacks are tasty, Nightmare is banned. Life is good.
>"Seung Mina gonna poke someones eye out with that thing." says Button Mash.
>"You mean like trixie." Caramel snickers.
>"Chill with that, he's just a colt, Mel." Mr cake cuts in.
>What are these implied implications?
"what do you mean?" You and button say in unison.
>Caramel pauses the game and looks at Mr cake looking at him look at him.
>"Button I think it's time for you to go home." says Mr. cake
>"Aww how come?"
"We're gonna have some Boring big colt talk with Anon and we don't want you to die from boredom."
>Button groans and leaves the house. Mr cake looks out the window until he rounds the corner.
>You have a feeling that you're going to have The Talk.
>"Anon, I love my wife very much, but I may or may not have a few pictures of some magically endowed mares hidden away."
"You mean horns?"
>"No Anon I mean teeth, OF COURSE I MEAN HORNS!" Cake explains.
>"Seeing a mare with a long thick horn lets you know you'll be safe in her magic grip." Mel bites his lip at the thought.
>You forgot the men were women here.
"What if she goes all warrior princess and stabs with it?"
>"Anon please, I can only get so erect"
>You can see that.
"I can see that." you nod towards his throbbing stiffy.
>Caramel blushes and covers himself.
>"Big horns make a unicorn look powerful Anon" he continues, "Just look at rarity's little hornlet. all she can do with it is life fabric and needles"
>"Why do needle horns have to wear so much makeup?" Cake shakes his head and sighs.
"Hey, I think it's cute"
>They look at each other and guffaw.

>>28745708
>And then Anon had sex with all the mares with low self-esteem.

>>28745708
So they are essentially talking about girls with flat chest and no ass? How rude. As long as you've got a vagina, aren't overweight, and don't have gross hygiene, I'm attracted to you. I'm pretty easy to please.

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>>28743647
>>28745708
>tfw anons run with your prompt

>>28745783
RGRE
They're talking about guys' bitch tits and dyel arms

>>28745793
Both those are things you can fix, though. You can't make a horn bigger.

>>28745855
cant make a dick bigger either but that doesnt change jack shit nigga

>>28746006
That's also a false comparison, because if your dick isn't big all you have to do is get better with your hands and tongue.

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>>28745855
>>28746006
>Anon is sure to notice me now that I'm a princess and my horn is the longest one in Ponyville!

>R-Right?

>>28746062
>horn
>mane
>coat colour
The hell is THIS shit?

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>>28746155
One of the images is probably flipped, but I wouldn't put it over the animator to do a mistake like this.

>>28746062
Anon no longer thinks his marefriend is cute.

>>28746194
It triggers my autism.

>>28744918
Love and Powerlifting 3: Lift Ever After

>>28746287
Love and Powerlifting 4: Not Powerlifting

>>28746308
So, just love then? Does this mean it would be one big clop story featuring the princesses plus Chrysalis and long enough to put the one from LaP2 to shame?

>>28746338
It's a story where Anon sexually stimulates Cadence, Celestia, and/or Luna while they try to work out. He SAYS it's a new type of concentration training, but colts are known liars.

>>28746006
Not quite. Even though it may seem like bullshit, vacuum pumping really can provide permanent dick size increase.
I know this from experience.

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>>28746497
>seem like bullshit
>seem like

Anon's herd would be fools to turn down getting rubbed off by their eager herdcolt. FOOLS.

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>>28746553
>>28742976
>Polishes Rarity's horn
>Massages Twilight's flanks
>Preens Fluttershy
>Massages Rainbow's flight muscles
>Massages Applejack's hooves
>Greets Pinkie with eskimo kisses.
>Nopone can understand how Anon can stand their glaring flaws
>Anon just likes to make his mares feel loved.

>>28746665
Fucking adorable.
>>Massages Twilight's flanks
hng~

>>28746665
>>Greets Pinkie with eskimo kisses.
nien
>Greets Pinkie with endless oral sex.

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>Anon is hanging out with the boys
>Caramel orders a triple mocha latte, no foam
>Time Turner orders a pumpkin spice cappuccino with a shot of espresso
>Mac orders an Americano with light cream and deluxe chocolate sauce
>Anon asks if they have soy milk for lactose intolerant people
>Everypony's face when

>That night, Anon gets a knock at the door
>Two mares in scary ghost costumes are running away
>One of them is wearing a cowboy hat, while the other has holes cut for her horn and wings
>They've a book and an apple on his doorstep
>The book is titled 'The Rise of the Bovine Empires, and the Death of Ponykind'
And that's how Anon joined the KKK (Kow Killin' Kult)

>>28746841
kek
The Best

>>28746062
>Twilight had a short stubby horn and a short neck
>undesirable traits
>anon loves her because he doesn't care about that
>growing into her alicorn body made her more attractive
>leaves anon because slutty stallions are tossing themselves at her

Dark RGRE stories when

>>28746866
>>leaves anon because slutty stallions are tossing themselves at her
Why would you?

>>28746871
For the plot of a revenge , thats why

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>>28746828
>implying Anon doesn't wake them up with clit kisses every morning
>implying Anon doesn't put them to bed the same way

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>>28746866
>It's another Twilight is a cunt for no reason prompt

>>28746964
>Anon has Twilight's parents staying over while they're visiting Ponyville
>Anon "forgets" they're there when he goes to wake up his herd

>>28746984
This, senpai. Twilight a good.

>>28746984
>That image
I would kill for a comfy stool that was made to look like a stack of books.

>>28746866
That's not Dark RGRE, that's the Relationship Troubles thread that got drowned in a sea of cuck-calling.

>>28746984
With those scrunched-up nose and cheeks, the pic makes it look as if she's snoring like a damn chainsaw.

>>28747032
That's poser-tier bullshit.

Go make an actual pile of real books and turn it into a comfy stool.

>>28747050
Or she's in the throes of sexual pleasure. Maybe she magicked a portal that linked up her vagoo and the inside of Anon's mouth?

>>28747082
Make it out of books of RGRE stories.

>>28746866
>anon loves her
Fuck that.
>solo living
>anon want to be alone
>anon and his computer pizza and beer

>>28747102
>Real-life actual Anonymous 4chan posters in Equestria

>>28747102
>Computer pizza.
Personally, I'm not a fan of electrical food.
Now if that was Computer, pizza and drinks, then hell yeah.

>>28747112
>"Twilight, darling, have you had time to speak with the new ehh..neighbors?"
>'I'm trying Rarity, but they never seem to leave the house, and when they do I'm too entranced by their virgin walks to say anything.'

>>28747102
>Anon is a pet care veterinary
>Anon don't like having sex with pony
>Anon do cuddle and petting
>He only went to buy some new bedsheets

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>>28747102
>>28747112
>>28747139
Forty kek

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>>28746866
>Twilight had a short stubby horn and a short neck
>Undesirable traits
>Anon loves her because he doesn't care about that
>Growing into her alicorn body made her more attractive, both in body and status.
>Stallions throw themselves at her.
>They get rebuffed left and right because she's already happy.
>Anon overtakes even Rainbow in smugness.
>All those tasty jellymad tears.

>>28747139
>they
Wait... are you telling me...us? every goddamit anon on /mlp/???

>>28747142
>Pet-care Anon in Equestria
>Instinctively presents a handful of oats and raisins as a reward for good behavior

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>>28747188
>>28746866
>>28746871
>>28746984
>>28747041
>>28747102
I could imagine Twilight being blindsighted and somewhat embarrased by all of the attention she's receiving now that she's a princess AND attractive.

She learns a very important Friendship Lesson at the end of the episode:
You coltfriend won't give you any bellyrubs if you don't stop staring a stallions' butts.

>>28747151
>Nervous virgin mare complementing Anon on his video game playing skills while hoping he doesn't notice how much she's sweating

>>28747245
>Ponies accept because Free food.
>Bonus because it's coming from the exotic alien stallion.

>>28747188
You're my nigga forever, Anon. No homo.

>>28747262
>Anon knows how to play with them so that they use up all their energy and aren't restless at night
>Anon can bathe them with brutal efficiency

>>28747276

Brutally efficiency being this >>28747251.

>>28747297
>How to deal with your mare in heat when your dick is too raw from all the sex: crying in the shower edition

>>28747318
You have these things called fingers and dildos for a reason, dude.

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>>28747326
>"Dildos? What are those, 'Nonny?"

>>28747326
>How to deal with your mare in heat when she, in an act of sheer desperation that she almost immediately regrets, vaporizes all phallic objects in the house so that there is no excuse for you not to fuck her: friction burn edition

>>28747354
Including your fingers?

>>28747345
And we've found ourselves the winner. I want an Equestria that is sexually active, but paradoxically innocent.

>>28747354
>friction burn edition
I imagine she'd be quite lubricated, anon.

>>28747381
Lubrication cannot be 100% effective against friction, Anon. Otherwise Anon wouldn't feel a thing.

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>>28747364
>"What could there be to be innocent about, Anon?"
>"I don't understand you."

>Ponies, being animals, consider sex a normal and casual thing
>But cuddles and hugs? Those are just indecent

>Your waifu will have sex with a stallion friend on your bed and get confused when you get upset
>If you so much as scratch another mare's ear in public, you'll be forever known as a slut and a homewrecker

>>28745783
The implication is that horns are like a dick. For magic.

>>28747475
nien
Also good job missing 747474

(quote taken from another thread)

>>getting a nice, hefty government paycheck for accidentally being dumped in this universe by a very sexually confused moonbutt?
>>Celestia still sends you apology letters.

>Anon doesn't need to work b/c government aid
>Anon is seen as a welfare queen

>>28747023
>wakes up Twilight Velvet the same way

>>28747139
>Anon is the equivalent of a cute (by pony standards) NEET virgin girl

>>28747567
>It's not that Anon doesn't want to work, but he can't find anyone willing to hire him
>Being a male is one thing, but a male without a cutie mark?
>"We're not in the business of hiring incompetent stallions, honey. Get a mark on that butt and I'll think about hiring you. NEXT!"

>>28747475
Heт

>>28747570
>wakes up Night Light the same way

>>28747626

Get out of my thread, Slav.

>>28747638
There's nothing wrong with being a communis my friend.

>>28747624
>Gets an Infinity tattoo on his arse
>"What's it mean?"
"That I'm literally good at everything"
>Still can't get a job because 'over qualified'

>>28747904

[Eternal Anglo Rage Intensifies.]

>>28747904
>"There's literally nothing wrong with being a Slav"
absolutelydisgusting.png

>>28747997
Stuff it europoor
>>28747904
Go drown in cheap vodka slavshit

>multiple anons that are racist to each other in rgre when

>>28747997
>>28748030
>>28748154
Charlie Chaplin... we failed you.

>>28748174
>Charlie Chaplin in Equestria
>Is rejected because ponies don't believe he is actually Charlie Chaplin

>>28748174
>Why do Americans hate communism?
>Why do Vietnam can forgive american kill civilians in Vietnam war?
>Why Japan is not sorry enough?
To apologize and to forgive.

>>28748154

>TMW you're just an English Amerifat.

Fucking slavs.

>>28748204
Modern America is like a hand of Cards Against Humanity

>[Black] "What did president Obama do this week?"
>[White] "Apologising for things you didn't do"

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>>28748204
>vietnam
Oh god, those guy make me cry. i remember something about death give her a few hour to live and then died. also vietnamese never fear dead.

>>28746841

"Applejack-"
>"Who's Applejack? Mah name certainly ain't Appleja-"
"I know it's you under there. Anyway I came to return the book. I'm not actually racist against cows. I literally have a medical condition where I get really bad indigestion if I drink normal milk."

>>28748272

>Never fear dead.
>US soldiers would play spook the fuck out of vent cong withave ghost sounds.
>Viet Congress beleived it was their dead making their diatasfaction of how they died known.

Holy fuck, my spelling.

>>28748306
Your spelling indeed.

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What the fuck is going on in this thread? Can't we just talk about pony mares being jelly of Zecora's big pillowy crotchtits?

>>28748306
that's fucking hilarious

>>28748317
Just leave Zecora with Vietnamese Anon.

>>28748306
>Viet Cong is using more extra trap to lure the ghost away

>>28748332
I was going to make a joke about how the Vietnamese Anon would just eat Zecora, but Zecora's a pony; not a dog.

>>28748331

My spelling or the spooped charlies?

>Anon's garden decides it does not like these ponies.
>They keep trying to eat all the plants and burglarize Anon's house.
>Acts to repel them.
>Horse vermin will not be permitted to terrorize their husbando.
>Ponies find themselves being wrapped up in vines and dragged back to town.
>Rosebushes seemingly appearing out of nowhere in walls of spikes.
>Bee and wasp hives just happening to be dropped onto the more persistant ones.
>Whenever the ponies try to show Anon, all the plants are neatly trimmed and just as he left them.
>Full on Plants vs Poners.
>In the end, plants and ponies put their differences aside to genocide the deer.

>>28748302
>They will not believe him.
>Twilight saw what was in those cook books.
>And his refrigerator.

>>28748306
That was psyops.
They also chopped them up and strung their entrails and bodyparts along their huts like grotesque Christmas ornaments to complete the feeling of extreme fear.

Don't fuck with special forces.

>>28748352
spooped charlies.

>>28748378
>>28748302

>I'm not actually racist against cows

>They will not believe him.
>Twilight saw what was in those cook books.
>And his refrigerator.

that just means he REALLY REALLY likes them

>Be viet cong anon
>This is not your forest
>Potted plants everywhere, Color... hut everywhere.
>Last time you went full Vietcong, hiding in tunnels and pits until they gave up, you ain’t going to died.
>Actually you managed to run away
>There was some deep evil in the forest.
>It’s amazing what leaving random fire pits and crosses can do
>Yes some of them were…holy ho. He looked back up. It was the last thing he noticed, but the first thing he should have
"Ngựa?"
>RGRE happen

>>28748306
Ah, ghost tape number 10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d9H_1ygEv8

Also the CIA pretending to be vampires and drain Vietcong of their blood and then throw the bodies somewhere to be found.

>The Phoenix program was thus a massive program to capture and Kill the VCI with the captured being tortured to reveal more names. It was also a massive psychological operation. Psychological operations aim at the mind of the enemy. They can range from Propaganda to terrorism and both were prominent features of the Phoenix Program.
>Edward Landsdale former advertising executive turned CIA counter insurgency expert was an important pioneer in these tactics. In the Philippines he had played on local superstitions about vampires in one famous example. He had used his agents to spread rumors that vampires were infesting the area the local guerrillas were camped.
>Then when enough time had passed his Commandos grabbed a guerrilla bringing up the rear of a column drained his body of blood and then left it along the trail to be found the next day. The trick worked and the Guerrillas fled the area.
>Another favorite tactic was to paint an eye facing the front door of those they suspected of supporting the guerrillas as a threat before later kidnapping killing and torturing them. Thus whenever they painted one of these eyes they were sure to terrify their target and let them know they were being watched.

>>28748448
Fucking grammar. that it. i go to bed.

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>>28748378

>>28748408
>>28748302
>aj I don't hate cows, I love them
>especial when they'd are slow cooked
Anon is the Ben Garrison of equestria

>>28748466
>A cowboy fucks his cow in the sun

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>>28748472
Did

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>>28748472
Someone
>>28748599

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>>28748472
>>28748606
Say

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>>28748472
>>28748612
Cow

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>>28748472
>>28748621
Fucking!

>Mods are asleep
>"Let's post anthro"

>>28747638
>stoopid bourgeoise swine comes into slav thread
>thinks he owns it

>>28744954
>stop shitposting
>post sunbutt
Ur not making any sense there anon...

>>28748472
To be fair a cowboy will also fuck his horse at sunset then sing about it.

https://youtu.be/8yz-nlseVOc

The idea of Anon taking on the mare's last name (or equivalent) when they get married makes me hurt emotionally, but in a good way.

>>28748816
i aint takin no ones last name

>"Anon! Who is THAT!?"
"Hmm? Oh you must mean Hestia. She is my wife."
>Twilight and her friends just stare at you in shock
>You dont see it but you can feel the smug radiating off the tauress behind you
>Hestia walks up and wraps her arm around your shoulder and pulls you into her chest
>Its a sign that minotaurs use to show that a male has been claimed
>You should be angry that she is acting like that but with your face securely placed between her deliciously massive bosoms you cant really complain
>"Its nice to meet you mares. Anon here tells me that you are all care quite a bit about him. You dont have to worry though. I am more than enough to take care of him."
>You hear a growl behind you which makes you, reluctantly, remove your face and turn to the sound
>Six mares stand there in varying states of shock and anger
>You knew they were not going to like this but judging by the look on Dash's face she is either about to pick a fight with Hestia or start bawling
>Looking back at Hestia its obvious she is trying to pick a fight
>Maybe you shouldnt have told her about their antics to get into your pants
>As she opens her mouth to throw another snide comment out you instead place your hand on the side of her face
>You mouth "Dont you dare" at her
"Sorry guys I would love to chat be me and Hestia have to get unpacked. I will be by tomorrow sometime to talk to you all."
>Grabbing her by the hand you lead Hestia past the welcoming committy and into your house
>Just as she was entering the door you heard her say
>"Again Anon? We would have been back ago if you hadnt wanted to stop five times a day and have fun. You mares would not believe the libido on this bull."
>From outside you hear a shout from Dash
>"YOU STUPID COW!"
>Just as you were expecting her to come flying through the doorway Hestia slams it shut
>A loud thump resonates from the door not a second later
>"I like your friends Anon. Living here will be fun."

> Anon is a 40yo bachelor
> Not a wizard, just can't hide his power level at home
> Ponies charmed by his silver fox looks, his whimsy has aged like a fine wine
> But then there's the casual racism
"Hey Chrysalis, looking as snug as a bug in a rug."
"Doesn't Rainbow Dash always just wing it?"
"Fluttershy sure is a flighty little horse."
"I like Applejack, she's very down to earth."
"Oh Twilight, you're so corny."
"Rarity, please stop horning in on my love life."
"Pinkie Pie can be a very dirty mare sometimes. Not that I'm complaining."

>>28748853
i don't think you know what racism means

i mean none of those are even insulting

>>28748852
>Not eastern-european cows
>>A loud thump resonates from the door not a second later
>"I am liking your friends, Anon. Very energy. Very to be wrestling. Is good fun!"

>>28748906
Puns are quite possibly the most insulting thing you can say around a pony. Why not just dig up their parent's grave and piss on their bodies while you're at it?

>>28748907
I am not /k/ enough to do eastern european justice. but at least I am a hasguns

>>28748917
a majority of their cities are puns, even without their earth references

some ponies names are puns

>>28748853
>Intentionally racist Anon is intentionally racist
>Constantly makes racist remarks since he knows no one will call him on it since they cant "hit a stallion"
>Trolls mares constantly
>Finally a group of mares decide to "Teach Anon some respect!"
>Anon is totally up for it since female on male gang rapes are his fetish

>>28748853
Keep going.

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>>28748949
>rape teaches a racists manners
>non insulting dad-tier puns are "racist"
>mfw

go to bed rgre, you're drunk

>>28748994
>"Lemme tell you a s'dory! Ah-Ah'lm gonna tell you... a story. Fuckin'... righ'? Jus'-just this mare, okay? And she's... she's... I don' fuckin' know, man. Lea'me alone."

>>28748994
>non insulting dad-tier puns are "racist"
Puns are just generally distasteful.

>Every-time he tells a friend hes coming when they tell him to ketchup mares giggle, and stallions gape in disgust due to the double entendre? pun

>>28749014
>Anon being popular with the mares for joking about offensive stuff that would send a stallion running
>His friends "joke" about having sex with him all the time

>>28748906
>>28748994
"Maria puts the spic in spick and span."
"Mei Lin really loves her noodles."
"Muhammad always gives off an explosive energy."
"I'm tired of Isaiah sticking his nose where it doesn't belong."

I mean, there's yelling racial slurs and organizing lynch mobs, and then there is casual racism.

>>28748396
>spooped charlies.

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>>28748852
>>You knew they were not going to like this but judging by the look on Dash's face she is either about to pick a fight with Hestia or start bawling
aww

>>28742466
It's hard to provide new colored pics when new threads are making to bumplimit in mere days. I can try and add simple colors on old pics while that one is being done. But to which pics then, Anon?

>>28748852
Intentionally pissing someone off when they hold royal authority is possibly one of the dumbest thing you can do, then again cows are pretty fucking stupid so I'm not surprised.

>>28749327
Does an oppic have to be fresh every time? We have, like, at least a month's worth of oppics to cycle through.

>It's hard to provide new colored pics when new threads are making to bumplimit in mere days.
Hmmm... use your maresculine viles and delegate some grunt work to some poor shmuck?

>Anon is a Reformed Evil Sorceror.
>Nopony knows that he used to be a villain
>Just that he can do magic

>It's time for his very first Nightmare Night.
>He has lots of ideas for how to contribute to the festivities.

>Skeletons that pop out of the ground and dance.
>Unfortunately there was a significant lack of human skeletons about that he could use, so he had to make some fake ones.
>That took ages, then he found out he could buy plastic pony skeletons and filled out the rest of the troupe with those.

>He had to cancel the dancing zombies.
>There just wasn't enough raw materials to work with that he could get via non-evil means.

>He had to settle for floating singing Jack-O-Lanterns.
>He almost made them scarecrows, but thought having them float in midair was spookier.

>Recruits Derpy to help out with suitably ominous weather for his haunted house
>Black clouds complete with thunder and lightning minus the rain
>Rain would be more thematically appropriate, but it put a damper on trick or treating and partying
>Part of the bribe is that Dinky gets all the candy she can eat

>He mixes up some potions that let him look like a ghost for a few hours
>CMC shenanigans ensue, and the temporarily ghostly crusaders freak out DT and SS

>He'd already met Luna once before, but only briefly.
>Since this is sort of her holiday, he's excited to see if his contributions are satisfactory to her.

>A good number of ponies find some of his stuff to be too scary
>To the point where he had to defend himself and explain that no, he was not an evil necromancer attempting to practice dark magic in plain sight
>Pinkie had to come to his defense and confirm that the pony skeletons were fake, and that he bought them from her

>Luna herself very much approved of his work
>After most everyone else fell into a candy coma or went home for the night, they talked and talked till it was time for sunrise.
>Then they went out for pancakes

>>28749751
>During the party Zecora asks him about his ghostly potion
>He says it's actually pretty easy to make, it's just a poorly made invisibility potion
>He can even change the color it makes him by adding different impurities.

>"For the secrets to such brews, I would gladly pay you."

>Later on during potion lessons, he learns that it isn't just his spells that are different from the usual brand of magic in Equestria.
>Zecora ends up paying him for his alchemical knowledge by teaching him all about her own potion making methods.

>>28749751
>They start meeting in dreams
>Anon's prior villainy eventually comes to light when Luna arrives to defend him from a nightmare of his past

>He'd known that she too had played the villain in the past, but lacking the details, and seeing how "innocent" most ponies were, he had convinced himself that his deeds were far worse
>Despite his fears, Luna is understanding

>Soon, two reformed villains fall in love.

>>28740327
Every non autistic person who reads your and you're can just reads it the correct way, same with their, there, and they're... the human mind is amazing with it comes to language and how it will fix even the most fucked up shit.

I say don't worry about it till you make sentences that read like you are stroking out.

>>28737761
>virgin nerds
Record: Corrected

>>28741997
>>28742417

>"BUT WHY MY HORN IS SO U-U-U-GAAA-LEE-E-E-E"
>You are anon
>And you have to deal with this shit, yet again
>Rarara broke down again after a month and a half, a new record, and thinks she is ugly because of her horn...
"But rarity, I love your horn"
>"FUCK you YOU LIAR"
>And you have rubbed off on her in more ways then one
>God damnit tonight is going to be a long night.

>Be rarirty
>Its the summer sun celebration, and though you sure as hell don't feel like doing this... this... this day, you put up with it for anon
>Where has he gone off to
>"There you are rarara"
>You scrunch at that nick name, about to go on a tiarde you stop yourself when you see celestia
>Great
>The one pony you didn't want to deal with up close today.
"Why celestia, so nice to see you"
>"Like wise"
>Anon speaks up
>"So like I was saying sunbutt, you are completely secure in your figure right?"
>She holds up a hoof, her eyes go up and she lets out a fake laught
>"Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, of course I am, how would any ponlet ever compare to me"
>The fuck did she just say?
>Before you can question it
>"Great, ok can you stand here and"
>He picks you up
>You stand here
>Side by side, its will be even easier to see the flaws
>"Ok number one"
>Anon stands right in front of you
>"So rarity, you see advantage number one right?"
>Ok, so maybe being taller isnt always better
>He stands in front of celestia and
>"AH fuck"
>You whip your head around and notice he is rubbing his forehead,
>"Sorry, I always keep it as sharp as possible to look my best no mater who is around"
>You look down and are about to cry
>"And there is advantage number two"
"Huh?"
>"Rarity, when was the last time you ever hurt me with your horn?"
>You have to think back
>Your face goes red
>"Exactly, and on that topic, celestia can you get your head down to crotch level"
>Celestia just licks her lips and gets down
>You cant not look away from this

>>28749944

>Anon lowers his pants
>Raging hard on, begging for release
>"Ok now, open wide"
>Anon goes forward, you should stop this but... its fucking celestia and anon, she is on both of your cheat lists and on your id be gay for and anon is the hottest male you have ever seen, not to mention the hottest male who would also fuck you... still unsure how to react
>"Ah, god dammit that hurts"
>You snap out of it long enough to notice there is a trickle of blood down anons torso
"ANON are you ok?"
>You move to get closer
>"Sure, just let me..."
>You take quick inventory of the situation, anon has yet to enter celestia's mouth, celestia looks unfazed but wanting, and...
>"MOTHER FUCKER"
>About two inches of horn comes out of his gut
>"Ohh, so close"
>Celestias says with blood dripping down her face, she licks a bit of it as it aproaches her muzzle
>Anon covers the hole with his hand
>"Ok you can stand up for this next one"
"Anon we need to get you to the..."
>He doesn't let you finish that sentence, he slams his head int your horn, hard
>A bit dazed, you focus again
>"See, how often do we run into each other in your house, either you need something immediately and run, or i need to stop sweetie belle from burning the bitch down"
>You think of every time for a moment, especially the time you ran into his firm ass horn first and he told you to get lube first
>That was the first time you have ever fainted from being so aroused
>You shake it off,
>"ANON YOU NEED..."
>and you see it, anon rearing back his head far
>He gains some impressive speed
>He smashes into celestia's horn, everything goes slow
>The horn pierces the skin, but not the bone
>The horn slides to the nearest place it as its not penetrating,
>Ripping anons skin all the way it does
>Blood is everywhere
>But it doesn't end
>The horn found where to go
>Straight into anons eye socked
>You see the eye bulge out
>It ruptures as the horn burrows further into his skull

>>28749782
11/10 I love everything about it. Moar please.

>>28749945

>A bit of the fluid squirts out and arks toward your face
>Anon screams and yanks his head to the left
>Celestia's horn snaps
>He looks in your vauge direction
>"ADVANTAGE 4"
>His face is soaking his body in blood, he is more caked in blood then he is in clothing
>You start hyperventalateing,
>You being the screem
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>You force your eyes open as far as they will go sitting up so fast the sheets are all over the floor
>You see everything is dark, you... you had a bad dream
>Holy shit that felt to real
>You catch your breath
>Anon, who is laying next to you just pulls you into small spoon territory
>"There there rarity, it was just a bad dream..."
>Yea it was just a bad dream... thats... wait
>"Number 5, You don't need to cork your horn when you sleep, as it cant gouge out my other eye"
>You begin to breath rapidly, on the verge of hyperventalateing, but you have to know
>You squrm out of his hold and look him in the...
>Eyes?
>EYES
>"We can deal with this in the morning, now grab the blankets and lets sleep"
>You know what, that sounds great