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FOE: A Post-Nuclear Pony Thread

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Hard decisions edition

Old thread: >>28439824

The original, read it first:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/119190/

EqD Side Story Compilation Post - March:
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2015/03/fallout-equestria-side-stor-updates.html

Tales from the Wasteland:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jjr70KyM4O4tilvWOPMbgT0c9hPnFK12xUQW6wGrCm8

PnP Document:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApDd-Pi_fJGZdGZiN0U0ajdtR3dTZ0FVQUh4cnhqenc

Smut Collection:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LBe5FGXd2Fgj0CRbz8HDZ6fDC11aRB9O-KfYxCODjGM

FOE Bestiary:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d6ZpDbbs6HWYBpoRwh1XZ0PB0TSxWaxtQODkRviq1KY/edit?usp=sharing

/foe/ Chatrooms:
#FOEchat (and #foefetish for you horsefuckers) on irc.canternet.org:6667
http://falloutequestria.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Chat

Recent updates:

Make Love Not War (September 21st)
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/301900/

The Chrysalis (September 6th)
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/288365/

Ouroboros (September 3rd)
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/48696/

Crystal Hearts (August 29th)
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/256322/

Black And White (August 29th)
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/44457/

ITT: Sometimes ponies have to accept the bad with the good. Like amputating a limb gone bad. How much can a pony end up giving up or having to rely on others before they'd rather just end it?
>>
First for Alloy x Fisher hardvore and disposed of in diaper.
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>>28508164
>gmod ponies
>reeeeeee

But on a serious note that's a fair question. Infection, disease and illness are probably a lot more serious in post balefire equestria, and there's certainly no universal healthcare system not that one one would in the real world anyway or organization of ponies around to care for the sick and debilitated until the Followers start to become a thing.

In a small community that struggles, I wouldn't doubt that having to take care of someone too old, too sick, or too disabled would put a strain on resources.
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>>28508164
so since that's ghoul Nurse Redheart, what fic is that supposed to be from?
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Here, have a Velvet.

...If you would tell me what you think...and...anyone has a request?
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>>28508863
I like it a lot. Reminds me of the picture Bris once drew me in pencil, with that style. Brilliant picture.
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>>28508863
Looks pretty good. Nice pointy ears.

Draw a Sneaky Boomfix
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So at the suggestion of one anon FOE talk will be livestreamed tomorrow at 2 PM UTC. Link to stream will come later.
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>>28508863
Her right eye's pupil kind of looks vertically stretched like a cartoon snake's pupil, otherwise, noice horsey!
>>
Enemyfus are best waifus
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>>28508960
Here.

Thanks everyone.
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I want to have big, throbbing, out of control, violent, Ranger armour assisted, ponut pounding sex with a smoll pink book loving scribe.
Truly,
Murky
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>>28508863
Adorable.
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>>28510388
Gee, I wonder if it was Riddles or Brisineo who would post something like this...
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>>28511160
Or they fused and are now known as Ridineos
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>>28512668
I was trying to say that it didn't make sense for either of them to post that actually.
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>>28509109
make sure to test for sound issues before starting the stream up proper.
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>>28514609
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>>28514611
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Setting up the stream right now.

Get in here faggots.

Sorry for weird format. 4chan thinks this is spam

It kinda is.
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>>28514789
Alright so 4chan doesn't accept twitch links.

So have this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pYI8lVy4lc
>>
This place is way too quiet, give me a fic to go back to reviewing. Fuck the anon who said no content.
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>>28514789
>Stream started right at 6am for me
>Once I finally pop in it ends
Damn yuropoors and their insane timezones
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>>28515476
Guise of chaos
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Potential Enclavewaifu bump
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>>28514789
>>28515485
Yuropoor time is not a good time for me either
>>
What sort of nonpulled by another pony methods of travel should exist in the wasteland?
The sort of things that would at least let a pony coast and rest a bit like rollerskates or battery power props for pegasi. Basically anything that makes travel easier but isn't just get somebody else to move you level.
I know that cars get talked about a lot, particuarly for Russians and their obsession with pulling war machines out of storage, but what other options exist and would fit for /FOE/?
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Would stilts be needed in marshlands and swamps? As seen in pic related, humans often used them to get around soft and muddy terrain, or even to ford rivers. WEcon sounds like the perfect story to have stilts but it seems like no pony uses them. Correct me if I'm wrong of course since I haven't gotten around to reading too far into it, but I can see stilts being really useful in Neigh Oreins.
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>>28516372
WECon has so far avoided such marshy slog ridden terrain.
Whether this is because Ham objects to Alloy getting down and dirty with Grit outside of a bed or because there are trails is a separate thing. From what is shown so far, there aren't swamps like that, since Alloy could use the collected rot remains to fuel her forge for many more projects than just needing the expensive coal.
So the New Oreins area is probably more like a rice paddy with sudden deep water areas for the fishers, than sink to your crotch in mud and gunk stuff. Which limits the need for stilts.
As well, I don't really see ponies wandering like that. The outdoors are dangerous in the Wasteland, so most ponies would quickly form towns and stay there, rather than risk being eaten or worse.
Which leads to the fact such things really wouldn't be needed, convoys would stick to packed earth routes their wares won't get lost beneath, and elsewhere the few who do use them, since they do have use here, would set up rope bridges and piles with planks on them to avoid using them constantly.

Quite hinestly, I would find it more beleivable for ponies to have a mobile scaffold system they move around on in the area than stilts.
Reason being is they can't put their legs in a straight line and walk that way, plus stilts for them don't have the needed knee space.
They can't pull their legs up as high as we can, but would weigh quite similar.

Once more, this just proves that pegasi are superior as they can just hover.
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>>28516370
I like the idea of rollerblading ponies jumping and skating over broken asphalt and concrete in a coastal resort town.
>>
What kind of hoofwear would ponies have in the wasteland? Raiders, merchants, stable ponies, mercs, What would they wear to protect their little hoofsies from rough terrain?
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>>28517747
Well Raiders could wear whatever they can hit you with for extra damage. Everyone else, doesn't seem like they would think about it.
Unless they were a sneaky scavenger tying rags around their hooves.
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>>28517747
there's only one acceptable answer for that, anon. all others are simply wrong.
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>>28516372
I practically lived on stilts throughout my teen years.
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>>28517747
Going by Khat, pony balls are the only appropriate foot wear, and only if still attached. Maybe a maregina boot if rainy.
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>>28517874
i love how when it comes to kkat and somber people in this thread hold to the edgiest, most stubborn grudges like they're still clinging to some kind of campaign against them
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>>28517903
No, I think that's just Nymph shitposting again. Don't listen to a word he says, I can't even understand him after like 2 years of reading his stuff.

Though Somber and Kkat do deserve all the criticisms and memeing they get. Somber much more than Kkat, but Kkat is a bit of tosser too and we've already trashed Somber so much that Kkat is fresher.
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>>28517945
This isn't nymph, just a random anon who remembers Khats fetishes.
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>>28517945
This 2bh fampai
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>>28515643
First thoughts:

Oh look its New Vegas!
Okay maybe its just the courier.
Nope, looks to be somebody new.
Good.

Amnesia plot element with evil side - bad, wrong. Badong.
Amnesia mostly fucking with random things instead of forgetting everything, good.
Apparent evil side out of my immortal half demon soul seeks to take me over, bad.

Stable dweller, oh great, not actually a stable dweller, progress!

Constant going unconscious, bad.
Being rescued by a pony shooting at him, also bad.
Showing mercy, good.
A unicorn with earth pony strength, bad.

Plot status: Forgettable introduction.
Companion status:Tried to kill protagonist, adopted immediately.
Her background: Escaped pleasure mare.

Likelihood of story being on the junk list: Greater than 50%.
>>
>>28518747
Keep reading. Having "earth pony" strength will make more sense later on.
>>
>>28518747
>Likelihood of story being on the junk list: Greater than 50%.

That's an odd thought to see considering how most people tend to recommend it.
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>>28518810
First chapter reminds me too much of fics dealing with hidden demon sides in amnesiac characters trying to atone for their forgotten life while also saying its not them.
Not a very good way to start in my opinion, but if it works better later on with it being an actual disassociative personality disorder caused by the MEW actually scrambling brains or just always been there, as opposed to being leaking of the original two Kick leaking through, I will be happy.

I will give it to chapter 5, ~50k words to decide if I shall go more or not.
Standard rule given that the first two chapters are going to always be shit on the basis of trying to establish everything needed for a fic, three engages plot and 4 and 5 should be moving the plot forward.
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>>28518827
I'll agree with you on the start, not that great.

I always kinda liked it because I feel like it did OP powers pretty gud. They're OP but they aren't unbeatable, and damage the protagonist suffers has lingering effects.

As for the "Earth pony" strength you mentioned before, I meant that it makes more sense when you realize that the protagonist is utterly shit with magic. Not sure if spoiler worthy but there's a more obvious note of it towards the end of the story.
>>
>"Anon... I'm hungry..." raider waifu moans in your ear
>She was preggers because you couldn't pull out fast enough
>But you always wanted to be a daddy
>Just not in the wasteland
>And you couldn't settle down in a town anywhere, you were both known criminals
>Raider waifu looked at you sadly under the light of the moon
>You had to go get food for her
>And that meant you had to take food from somepony
>And probably kill them
>You didn't want to
>But you'd lay waste to the world for her
>You nodded, agreeing to find her something good
>Maybe you'd make her soup, it was kind of chilly out
>You crawled out of the abandoned car you two shared and headed for the nearest grocery store
>On the way, you passed by a camp
>The crackling of the fire alerted you to possible other raiders
>Maybe they had something to eat
>You approached quietly
>The light of the campfire left the surrounding areas pitch black by contrast
>There sat a single stallion on guard
>Another pony in a makeshift tent
>You drew your gun, a long-barreled revolver pulled off of the corpse of a sheriff pony who met his fate at the claws of a mirelurk
>The wooden handle was still stained with blood, covering up what you thought to be writing of some sort
>You aimed from the shadows, hoping your rusty colt didn't blow off your fingers
>One shot, just aim for the head, make it quick and painless
>Your gunshot rang loudly
>Bang, the stallion was struck in the temple, between his ear and eye, and dropped to the ground instantly
>Then you heard it
>Your blood went cold
>A rather young colt awoke in the tent and peeked out
>"Dad?"
>"Dad!" he ran out to the stallion and tried to get him to wake up
>"Dad! Are you okay?! Dad, get up!"
>He managed to roll him over and see the gunshot wound
>The little colt went silent, staring in disbelief
>"D-dad?"
>Wide-eyed, you watched on in horror
>The revolver rattled in your shaking hand
>What have you done?!
>You should've just went to the grocery store
>Waifu came first though
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>>28519204
>You shifted the revolver in your hand, the colt in your sights
>Waifu always came first
>With the squeeze of a finger, you extinguished another life's spark from the wasteland
>You kept telling yourself it was for waifu, but it didn't block the pain
>You walked into their camp and dug through the bags
>You found a good deal of food
>In the colt's sleeping bag you found a small cache of candy
>In the father's bag you found a pistol wrapped in brown paper
>Next to it was a note
>It was going to be a birthday gift to the colt
>You put the pistol in your bag along with the food and candy
>You dug around some more, finding an old photograph of their family
>The mom was already gone, there would be a third sleeping bag if she was still around
>You checked the stallion's clothes, he had a few caps and a couple rounds that fit your revolver
>In a haze, you looked around, and checked the colt's pockets
>He had a slingshot and some caps
>You took the caps
>You stood up and walked back to the abandoned car
>Waifu was sleeping quietly, her pudgy belly noticeable through the blankets
"Ironsights, I'm back." you said quietly
>She stirred awake and smiled when she saw you
>You cut open the can of soup and set it over a small fire
>"I love soup." she cooed, still half-asleep
>You smiled and sat next to her, running your fingers through her mane
>Everything just washed away, you suddenly remember why you'd do anything for her
>Love was a crazy thing
>Wasteland love was even crazier
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Okay, fast development here.

First off, we do actually have some names to expect.
The companion Shade, and the oddly named protagonist, Ripple Two Kick. Who should be nicknamed Rick, but some people just have to go with the shorter Rip.
Oddly fitting for our hero.


So, confirmed bits:
Was the second in command of the dastardly evil Hate, his right side tool of violence and mayhem. Now, Rick is out to atone for the past sins he doesn't remember, and believes what happens to him is justified. Some know of his past, but keep it quiet from others. Others know, but the author likes to kill them off.

All in all, as I feared, the voice is his past self, he's atoning for past sins he can't remember, and a constant fight against his inner denim. Fuck give him an enchanted weapon and he'll be lighting up the wasteland with the anime sparkles and flashy light shows. Seriously, Inyuasha much here?

The companion of the chapter, Shade, may as well be titled broken whore companion love interest morality pet. Her purpose is going to be showing that Rick has matured and is no longer that evil demonic spirit of vengeance.

Good fucking night what is it with ripping off animes?
Just do all these authors only watch Adult Swim youtube rips and call it the height of entertainment?
Have I misjudged the age of the fandom here and its really 20 - 30 somethings who watched the original airings?
Where's the N64 references and Banjo and Kazooie talk or people ripping off Tomb Raider?
Why does it have to be stuff I never saw because my parents were worried about occult witchcraft leading me so far astray they burned all my psychic Pokemon and forbid watching the show because it had the word evolution?
Ugh, just why?
Why must you keep using stuff filtered through nostalgia goggles for fic material?
Where's the rewritten scifi thrillers of VOR, Battle Planets or even Max Steel as a cyber pony for once?
Not even Action Man or Danger Mouse in any fics?
Just ~anime~
>>
>>28519287
And pretty much just meme anime at that, its not even something good like the uncut not harmony gold Macross saga stuff, no it has to be everything with "I'm a daemon now guyz, a daemon!"
Just fucking why, just why can't you shits even rip off Halo of all fucking things? Give me something fun to readwith faster action and some intrigue as to just who is my enemy. I'm not asking for Jack Ryan novella here with some prewar plots to stop the transfer of Equestrian megaspell technology to Zebra cultist, just some good fun gun play and a plot mostly around getting more people shot.
Instead I get philosophy so shit, morality questions so bland, that Pythagoras could fucking do better from his grave, and still beat Euclid!
Somber wasn't the last, wasn't even the worst, its just all a steaming bog of festering piles of shit called fics based off 90s anime written by people who weren't even old enough to be watching that stuff at the time. Hell, all that glorified staying up past your bed time and getting baked by a particle accelerator really did damage your brains.
Whelp anyways moving on now.

So the actual content of the chapter is too focus on Rick getting back into the groove of things now that the intro sequence to his life is over. We find that he is a very fine lover of Stampede, and kicking ponies. Saitiama has a competitor in two kick pony, though technically, One Buck Stallion is a better more fitting name.
Rick has a simple thing in life now, getting to a town so boring, so droll, so beginning, its called Blank. Its even been drawn on a map. Whoever was that cartographer must have been sauced that day when he asked for a town name and said, "Dunno I'm drawing a blank." And so we have a town name. And what a great town it is, enough to nearly die for from Raider acupuncture. In this fic, the raiders aren't all that lethal so far, and in fact about as inept as Team Rocket in the original Japanese when they could use a gun.
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>>28519418
This leads to Rick having a gay old time when he takes more of the fine stallion's Stampede, downside is it does not actually make him invulnerable, and it turns out Team Rocket objects to the insinuation that guns are not actually just oddly shaped pokeballs that contain a number of the ammunition type pokemon, Bullet. Rick however is set to send them blasting off again and tries to kick his way through them and send them into orbit.

His trip gets rather harshed out on when he finds out not only is stampede not a hallucinogen and he has serious brain damge, but Shade gets shot because she is a bleeding heart who wouldn't hurt another pony. Also, she is actually bleeding near the heart, so at least she will die for her beliefs. This sequence leads to our hero hauling his improper iron pony flanks to Blank, where he hopes to get the former skank some proper care from the local blood bank.

This actually works almost, but then its revelaed that a week has passed in this new life of near prank, and there aren't enough caps in the bank for the treatment that Rick needed from the potion he drank. So now he must take some time from the pity tank he is in, and pay off his debt for the medical care. THis leads to the obligatory, "OMG raider furniture on wooden plank and you thought I missed that word play" Joining is the Talon, not a Talon, the apparent Talon for this fic. So I rather expect he will get called to kill Rick at some point and say that he hopes no hard feelings, its just water near the bank.

The actual fighting scene is fairly nice, its not overly actioned or unbeleivable, the gun play is fairly well done with more shooting at point blank and around corners rather than elaborate shots and gymnastics. Rick shows to be still be capable, something he blames on muscle memory.
And not the constant voice in his head playing JSOC.
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>>28519507
Not much is learned other than that the author really likes anime for references after this, but we find out its DJ PON3 time again, because its always Pon3 unless its a Russian fic. Rick gets a few more caps for this, rather than just a simple squaring of debts. Shade is there to run out and greet him in the streets, and she is quite the hugger. The fic moves on with them trying to work out what to do, and Rick swearing vengeance on Hate. Somewhere though, a pony is sneezing at their name being uttered, because in this fic, I can only believe Rick will face a pony named Vengence from his stable before he can challenge Hate.
>>
>>28519287
>inuyasha
I never watched but I'm starting to worry GoC is closer to PH than I think...
>>
>>28514609
>>28514611
>>28514612
I wish I can draw like you senpai.
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>>28520442
i don't think that's actually nips posting those in here, anon.
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>>28520458
I still wish I can draw like him though. I would tell this to anyone.
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sleepy bump
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what are /foe/'s thoughts on Fallout 4
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>>28517784
>>
>>28521366
Story sucked and I want the rpg element back.
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>>28521366
It's singlehandedly the worst Fallout game. Worse than Brotherhood of Steel yeah, I said it. At least that game was just a dumb spinoff that didn't attempt to be a mainline game, it succeeded in being it was supposed to be. F4 fails at being a mainline Fallout game in ever conceivable way, and it was so bad that it's permanently killed my interest in the series unless Bethesda gets another studio to make a game. It doesn't even need to be one of those 'former Black Isle employees work here' studios, I'd play Fallout game by anyone else because at least they couldn't fuck it up as bad as Todd did.
>>
>>28521366
Tries so hard to be an action-packed adventure that it only ever stumbles accidentally into thoughtful consideration of its subject matter, and then doesn't know what to do with it in its hurry to the next explosions-and-violence set piece. However as an action game it falls flat, because the system design is so easily gamed that nothing presents any meaningful challenge or threat after the first few levels. Overall this leaves an experience that's just uninteresting busywork punctuated by mediocre plot and action sequences.
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>>28519214
YES! YES!
moar pls?
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>>28521366
Survival mode is fun till you get all the broken weapons, armor and perks making the whole thing obsolete. random legendary effect on weapons and armors is ok, but most of the effect are ether useless or shit. improving weapon, armor, and power armor was a neat idea but it come down to "next level perk will allow me to make my explosive assault rifle more stronger and shoot faster". The story is a choo-choo train where the is not much diversity in it.
I just hope the next Fallout game bring back what made fallout fun.
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>>28521366
I was entertained for about 20 hours before I realized how garbage it was. They fixed the shooting mechanics but sacrificed everything else that makes a game Fallout. They gutted the rpg mechanics, story options, and speech trees. The game's not even worth replaying because of how disgustingly linear everything is. Almost every playthrough I did felt the fucking same.

Other than that, the same issues which plague every other modern open-world Bethesda title are in 4. AI is braindead, system is easily gamed, animations are garbage, quests are largely pointless and your hand is held all the way, and finally, radiant quests. Bethesda has the weirdest boners for these wastes of time.
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>>28522577
I only lasted 10 hour before I uninstalled and I was miserable and bored the entire time sans the first 2 hours. Going into the Institute and being physically unable to ask basic fucking questions any normal human being in the entire goddamn planet would ask was single handedly the most frustration and most insulting experience I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing in gaming. Being killed over an over to a cheaply designed game does not even come close to the level of frustration because at least then I know you can still possibly beat it even if I had to cheat. But you will never fix F4 shitty story and insulting dialogue system. No amount of mods can ever fix this disgusting failure and laziness that is hardcoded into the game
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>>28522622
For me I finally got to the institute and and was so utterly disappointed, added to the fact that I had just found out there weren't any "real" ending slides, I just uninstalled it right there. No interest in ever touching it again.
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>>28522241
>>28521366
Everyone else said more than I did so I need to make up for it.

But then again, everyone said what I'd say already. The only difference is that I have about 500+ hours logged.

But that's just me, I dug through a game densely packed with the same old shit for hella long, built some okay looking settlements, made my character look the way I wanted him to, explored every nook and cranny; and I was bored the majority of the time. Only reason I kept going is because I'm a little ocd about exploration.

I didn't even finish the main story line once. It's just that boring.
>>
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I remember Isiah and his autistic guest mentioning in the podcast a FoE writers Skype Group. How would I get in on it?

Pretty much all my friends have gotten out of nuclear horse so I'd like a group to talk about it and fic ideas
>>
>>28523174
>and his autistic guest
Wow, I think that's the rudest anyone has ever been to Ham. Jesus christ.
>>
>>28523206
The only one I've seen is PH anon.
>>
>>28523201
Nah there was a new one and it had a dude named Armrest or something of the like. Anyway, he wasn't that bad at all, I was just 'avin a giggle. No need to act offended for someone else's behalf anon.
>>
wasteland 3 was just announced
it's skipping kickstarter to use a some side thing the CEO of it's devs is part of (brian fargo), and despite millions of dollars going into the funding company, nothing noteworthy has come out of it since its creation
said crowdfunding thing also has no accountability to produce anything
these are the types of games we have to deal with
>>
>>28523253
It's hard to convey sarcasm in text form anon
>>
>>28523174
Who are you and what do you do
>>
>>28523174
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/240/fallout-equestria/thread/277406/foe-writers-skype-group-established-writers-helping-new-wrights

is this the group you are talking about?
>>
>>28523931
>implying anyone would tolerate dice
No anon, the chat they're talking about is a good one. Fuzzy and Ham and Relentless are there.
>>
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>>28523862
I'm a guy and I do things.
>>
>>28523931
>helping new wrights
shall we start with dice and his spelling
>>
>>28523993
That's not enough. What have you written
>>
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>>28524057
Well, the filename is a bit related I wrote those 'Homage is an evil mastermind' posts thing a while back and before that, I was writing a story that about Jokeblue and Homage. Though I just rewrote the first chapter like 7 times and then it kinda fizzled out and I lost interest. My pre-reader can attest to that. Now I'm working on another idea and wanted to make it more concrete. Also did a few entries in the writing contest thing, but I don't wanna go digging through the pastebin to find it.

Though I wasn't aware you actually needed to be a published writer to get in. From the podcast it sounded like Isiah and Armex (finally remembered his name) were in and yet Isiah hasn't written anything and doesn't seem to be planning to for a while, and Armex's story Benchmark hasn't been even really been announced or published either.
>>
>>28524223
>Isiah hasn't written anything and doesn't seem to be planning to for a while
Isiah does a lot of peoples' editing
>>
>>28524339
He is a man we need, and a pegabutt we deserve.
A sexy lithe pegaslutt with big wings and a soft chest to nuzzle.
>>
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>>28524355
Anon pls
>>
>>28524223
Oh, you’re the guy that wrote that essay about Homage! Dude, that was a great analysis!

Yeah man, as soon as you get your story out there, you can join the skype group!

Get your ass in the #foefetish irc and chat me up. I'm known as Basic
>>
>>28524525
Don't you have more art of him than just that?
>>
>>28524800
Just the foe talk title card and another piece that Freckles did
>>
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>>28523253
>Armrest
>>
>>28524857
Any stories you're part of?
>>
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>>28521366
My thoughts exactly.
>>
>>28525256
ayyyyyyyy
>>
>>28521366
I thought it was really good and enjoyed that the character now had a voice to go along with the setting.
The color shades were nice and much better than the muted browns and greens of FO3 or the mostly brown and grey of NV.
The lush wasteland was a nice touch and made the setting feel older rather than a constant 20 minutes after the bombs of the last games.
The fact just about everyone has power armor is really good fic material and supports the idea that it shouldn't be just Steel Rangers running around in it.
As well the Institute shows that technology is well past where it was at bomb fall, and for fics provides excellent proof of how forward thinking Somber was with her blanks.
The companions were quite nice and had actual story to them rather than the rest of the series where they were mobile turrets and pack mules.
Then I got to have just those with an army of robots. That was really murry and fun to mod Ada out and give her a bombshell body.
I'd say its the best game yet.
>>
>>28525319
Dice Warwick pls go.

>>28525256
Man, Snowflake slayer is THICC___
>>
>>28525354
>There's actually a tear from the pain of living

Anon, you make me laugh.
>>
>>28525364
>tfw was jokingly going to "DELET THIS"
>He already delet

Iegit laughed that was funny
>>
>>28525256
ayy lmao wb
>>
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>>28525422
>>
Do you suppose spark batteries could be set up to vibrate in the same way microfusion cells can from Old World Blues? Would this be something only the Enclave can really do on account of having all the MEWs?

Could use some duck tape and make a cock ring for a stallion out of it?
>>
>>28525364
That's supposed to be my birthmark actually...

:c
>>
>>28525687
Don't you speak with Nymph reguarly? I would say your life hurting is already a thing.
>>
So now we have a mixture of RWBY or whatever that weird cell animation show is from Rooster Teeth. Wow continuing the theme of ancient stuff, last time I saw a DVD for it was an EB Games.
Okay seriously whoever sugested this to me, that was a shit part of my life and fuck you very much. I still have the model rocket I never got to launch as a promise to never be that much of a shitheel to my kids.
Just fuck you.
Fuckity fuckity fuck it fucking fuck on the fuck train fuuuucccckkkk.
I say that a lot here with this fic. Its not so much Guise is structurally bad, its quite well written from the mechanics. THat's why its just so grating to see all this rip off shit running around. It could have pulled it off if it was written by Dice, I'd be spending too much time running autocorrect and fixing homophones to notice his rip offs of anime.
Super powered unicorns? Oh yes you were quite right on that. But not in the idea of them being decent and having their own unique and clever tricks that sound like somebody saying they would just do a pull up over a fence and run the fuck away from fucking Jason and live through everything. Things like wiggling a metal bar until it turned into a glowing torch with their TK or using a bit of lightning magic to fire bullets yes I am aware I am discussing Volgin here, but Metal Gear 3 came out in 2004 so its not nostalgia or make a railgun.
Frankly I can see this fic looking like a deliscious cherry on top of the spunk covered shit sundae of most fics, only you find out its actually a clown nose. It works and is nice, makes you cry, but all the same, you'd really like that cherry to pop in between your lips.

This fic seems to get what needs to be done, but has an issue with trying to do so in a way that just too heavily matches existing material. I would definitely say its a step in the right direction, its something that can stand, but needs improvement, unlike many fics which can't even stand.
>>
>>28525924
This chapter sees the addition of a new companion, Ashred, the griffon sniper. Have you ever noticed how consistently it is that the character most mobile is consistently told to go and cram themselves in some hidey hole and shoot from far away with a big gun? Well if you haven't, this fic might make you see it if all the Sapph posting hasn't!

Following Rick's street side reunion with his secretive mare lover, we get a little bit of redemption. Shade actually calls out the bullshit death wish and how fething retarded it is to die for something you can't remember. Excellent advice, nobody cares if you die for something only you think you know. People do remember when you die setting off a balefire bomb and obliterating a populated city, but don't take this as endorsement of such an act.

Responsible medical care, this fic's alternative byline. Its actual subcaption would then be, on account of everyone liking to save the ground from being shot with their bodies. Rick wisely does not drink after having just come from the IC. Quite nice for the deal, gets him a griffon merc in the process.

Exiting the bar introduces us to the RWBY character and her crushing love story. Sweeps is a simple stable unicorn mare with simple tastes, big guns, killing the protagonist, black armor, simple really. And so she simply dies as well. After shooting up a building with a pair of miniguns and a rocket launcher, the fight ends anticlimactically with a sign being knocked onto her and crushing her from the neck down. So sad, in fact the author continues trying to say feel emotion by suddenly revealing she was romantically interested in Rick.

Awww, how touching, well maybe if that wasn't the first paragraph we find out about it all. THis is the classic mistake of trying to milk a random death as an old flame. Please don't do this aspiring autists, at least have them introduce themselves over a drink before the attempted murder starts.
>>
>>28525991
And frankly that's it for this chapter, get a new companion, kill the old flame, and find a draquonicus. Oh yes, the foreboding memory orb trope rears its fic killing head here. The MoP tried doing something with Discord's younger brother and we will be feeling the effects later in this fic in hopefully its total absence and nothing more than a random near tie in to Project Horizons. But hey if that were the case, I'd have to cut back on these complaining reviews.
>>
I might have made a terrible mistake.
Again
>>
>>28526029
Do you still have your pubic hairs, back hairs, and eyebrows?
>>
>>28526039
I never said hair loss was the issue. I'm not a ghoul
>>
>>28526050
Well if you have that hair, its not that terrible a mistake.
>>
>>28525700
I wish I didn't
>>
>>28526170
You realize he is going to do something like forget you exist now and not bother with anything of yours right? You know his typical, anon take the wheel approach in this thread?
>>
>>28525256
Whoa, where the fuck did this come from?
>>
>>28527762
Use a relevant image you nigger
>>
>>28525167
>TFW no giant griffon will ever knot smoll scribe mares and carry them away to their love nests.
>>
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>>28528832
Life is suffering
>>
>>28525687
If you think about it, it means you have a cutie mark. I mean it makes you a but head, but you are a pony.
>>
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>>28528882
>>
>>28525501
I'd love to see an Enclave mare curl up with her magical beam rifle after her watch shift, eject the spark battery and set it up as an impromptu vibrator.
>>
>>28525330
you relay should stop amusing it's me just because you don't like the post, it's making you look paranoid.

BTW, Fo4 is not bad, just the story is shit, it was too heavily focused on developing your settlements. Also, though I like the idea of the perk system, they should have kept it similar to how it was in the other games, and let you add points to your skills.
>>
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>>28529118
>Actually likes Fo4
Every day I find another reason to hate Dice
>>
>>28529156
Well since you seem to hate everything, can't say I'm surprised. You might need to see a therapist about that, work out you issues.
>>
>>28529118
The perk system is essentially incompatible with the skillpoint system though, and if I could choose, I would be to go back to the skill point system in a heartbeat.

Also, Paranoid =/= associating dumb people with equally stupid posts. So stop that you dummy.
>>
>>28529118
The only DLC that I like from Fo4 is Far Harbor. Going around a foggy island with the radio off and getting attack by the wild life that will kill you in one shot in survival mode was more fun then everything else.
>>
>>28529488
Incompatible, naw, Bethesda just made it boring. I like the idea of a perk chart, were your Special unlocks certan aspects of it. But having your damage, sneak, lockpicking, and the like attached to it. that was a bad idea, and removed some creative perks that the player could have had. It just showed how short sighted bethesda was about it all. Such a missed opportunity.
>>
>>28529156
Well, Dice having shit taste isn't exactly news.
>>
>>28530123
I bet he refuses to take 2 dollar bills from people.
>>
>http://hioshirunsfw.tumblr.com/post/151112482828

omg some faggot really comm'd his shitty OC railing BJ

holy shit this is awful
>>
>>28529585
It's also a boring shooter, its easy to get to the point where you kill anything in seconds, while the aiming and shooting mechanics were sound, you tend to stick with the legendary with the most ammo.

Its like the single player of a modern military shooter where you stick to your assault rifle with all the attachments for the entire mission,untill you run out of ammo.

Story aside, Doom's single player was a fun shooter because in addtion to solid mechanics, theres a reason, it could be enemy type or effective range, to swap out your weapons mid firefight. Executed smoothly it keeps you thinking and engaged.
>>
>>28530970
Ironically the top is even worse than the bottom.
>>
>>28531267
look at muh snowflake oc he gots antlers
>>
Post waifu songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EdmHSTwmWY
>>
>>28531380
>Snowflake oc
Hmmm...

/r/ing Snowflake Slayer fucking >>28530970 that oc in the ass ?

"You're not special."
>>
>>28531892
I'll rail you in the ass, faggot. And you'll love it, too.
>>
I'm doing a poll on what pony this should be.

Littlepip is an option,but you guys will have to vote if you want it.
http://www.strawpoll.me/11330170/

I would do a little animated gun to go with it swooshing about in magic
>>
>>28532012
sunset pls fuck voting
>>
>>28532066
considering she is doing pretty well, i think perhaps you may get that anyway
>>
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>>28508863
If you're still here anon, pone's body is slightly too longand shoudl probably be a bit more bean shaped.
pretty qt otherwise.
>>
>>28528892
You're now known as butt stallion. You will embrace it as you should.
>>
>>28508863
>>>28532201
>to expand on this, here's a stylised horse skeleton in place to demonstrate WHY Neuro's point is important
>>
>>28508863
>>28532201
>>28532299
and specifically for the neck detail
>>
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>>28532316
Lucid pls, every one knows skelentons dont exist, look at this magnificent, skelenton-free horse.
>>
>>28532012
>Rigging it to be Little Pip.

Also stop being a fagget and join us you cunt.
>>
>>28532351
>rigging
I posted this to Tumblr, Muny, here, two facebook groups and my own discord group- it's not rigged, just slightly bias due to where I posted it.
>>
>>28532242
>Memelands 2
Could be worse
>>
>>28532383
Yeah nymph could have named you.
>>
holy shit guys
>>
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So would you read a story where the Protagonist, Antagonist, and most of the supporting cast are raiders?
>>
>>28534607
if there is a coherent and simple plot, or if the slice of life feels genuine, yes.
>>
>>28508164
probably, but then again
>>
Redweasel, check the files folder for the archive.
>>
>infuriated snorts and neighs
>>
>>28536276
>belt fed shotgun

Why is it that artists cannot into gun?
>>
>>28536435
They're usually bleeding heart liberals, so they've never touched a gun in their life.
>>
>>28536435
You can make a belt fed shotgun, rimmed rounds don't prevent their use.
>>
>>28536451
True. A lot of errors can be cleared up with basic research, though. Not handling a firearm isn't much of an excuse these days.

>>28536465
I know that, it's just that they aren't in common use and there's nothing really to be gained by it.
Rule of cool is in effect, though.
>>
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>>28536486
i'm a bleeding heart liberal who hasn't touched a gun in his life and I can at least do the research to draw a firearm properly
>>
>>28536486
Given how its a modified tube feed semiauto with an eotech, I'd be more complaining about the double trigger/trigger guard not going to stock.
>>
>>28536503
That's only because being Irish, you're used to violence, unlike the Scottish, who's great contributions are adorable and Irn Bru.
>>
>>28536486
As ridiculous as the DShK turned into a belt fed shotgun was, it was one of the most fun weapons in Metro.
>>
>>28536516
a. the republic hasn't seen widespread unrest since the 20s
2. the point still stands that guns belong to the set of complex mechanical objects that any artist worth their salt regardless of political leanings should be able to at least google before they try to draw it
>>
>>28536531
Yes.
>>
>>28536504
Or why it has a shoulder stock period. My favorite are the pictures of Calamity's weapons that have stocks on them. I know of one where there are two SVDs bolted to him and they have stocks AND scopes. wtf.
>>
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It's up, lads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MrsK_DOBfc
>>
>>28536535
Ah yes, the 20s.
Because clearly the beach head the Britons established in their Nordic effort to pbliterate the native population should be accepted and not obliterated until just before the Americanos start complaining about padre being sodimized violently.
>>
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>>28536588
>Focal Length's dick can spin
>>
>>28536662
I can't figure out what the fuck you're saying
>>
>>28536748
Northern Ireland rightfully is clay of her majesty, and your pesky beliefs and mortar attacks, and the one flamethrower, shall not remove the beach head we have established to conquer you and return our sheep to their rightful homes.
Your only hope shall be to learn the art of disguise and convince us there is no room for sheep due to all the horses.
>>
>>28536756
i wasn't talking about NI ye spod
>>
And the soundcloud for those that want to download it

https://soundcloud.com/isiah-jacobs-30838157/foe-talk-episode-3-lovin-and-fuggin
>>
So why has DILeak never drawn Sapphire staring and panting like a dog after a boner?

Why shouldn't it be Focal Length's boner so we can finally see it?
>>
>>28536588
>11:25
>Balefire Mouth

I am SO happy, that the concept of a balefire related STD is still a thing even after all this time.
>>
>>28536588
Dubs
Anyway funny enough the fic i am working on is nothing but relationship and how the effect ponies.


Also a mugiffen child
>>
i'll just leave this here

http://krds-cloud.tumblr.com/post/151054897123/commission-includes-story-below-the-cutmore

you guys like penises with your boobies right? :^)
>>
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Was there any equivalents to Mr.House in any of the FOE stories out there?
Also if any drawfriends could do a pony version of him, I'd be grateful
>>
>>28537299
I'd say SolOS from Pink Eyes
>>
>>28537299
Yeah, Most of the NV fics have a Mr House of some kind. Heroes actually has 2.
>>
>>28537299
PH had 'Mr. Horse' but her literally didn't do shit and was entirely irrelevant for the entire story. He was just another useless filler character.
>>
>>28537255
It makes me curious what it would be like in the wasteland for such a character to be more pronounced.

Like what if the manticore scientist was less focused on taint and more with playing with them ala Dr. Frank-n-furter. THe whole idea being that if we were going down this roads we may as well just have some fun and say that dicks on mares are not only normal, but at the lower end as he tries to do research into making more cable wasteland pony, something that can outproduce, outfight, and outdo the other animals.
Which in turn leads to many experiments, from butt stallions to brand new pegasi with their wings upside down forcing them to fly like they're swimming well air is a fluid after all... on out to unicorns with greater magic and control.

All leading tot his horrible mish mash of acolytes, experiments, cultists, and downtrodden and demented suffering masses for a protagonist to liberate, capped off by a stallion that tampers with nature at a fundamental level.


>Behold, fic bait
>>
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>>28536588
Hooray!
>>
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Imminent super sensual raider dom on unicorn sub cuddles emergency bump
>>
>>28538698
Why are there so many bumps lately? What happened to the content?


Are we dead thread?
>>
>>28538711
yes. all the drawfags except neuro (ilu neuro) left and all the writefags left too.
>>
>>28538722
So what can be done then to bring them back?
>>
>>28538722
Or perhaps they're too busy creating content to focus on the thread.

That's how it's been for me anyway

>>28538791
Raise your hands to the sky and give us your energy.
>>
>>28538813
you say that but relentless has been so busy he hasn't updated since spring, ham hasn't updated in a while either and it's been like a year since tofu updated outlaw.
>>
>>28538829
And during all this time, Nymph has shit posted.

Coincidence?
I think not!
>>
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>>28538829
i'm still working, anon
>>
>>28538887
that makes you the exception to the rule, hoers.
>>
What if it had been Blackjack and Homage first, with Pip spending a night with the two befor moving on?

https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/7/9/1196731__oc_explicit_nudity_blushing_penis_straight_smiling_simple+background_anus_sex.png
>>
>>28538813
>too busy creating content to focus on the thread
God I wish that was my excuse
>>
>>28538813
Okay my arm's numb now.
Did any of that work?
Should my knee be throbbing and mouth dry?

Why couldn't it be my dick throbbing so I could at least hope for great clop.
>>
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Shit boys, Amethyst Wind doesn't like me.
>>
>>28539351
>who?
>>
>>28539365
he wrote old souls and he likes >horse related and i don't think he comes around anymore
>>
>>28539380
Another one chased off by nymph.
>>
What's your opinion on scars? Are they something any experienced wastelander is bound to accumulate, or does it just seem needlessly edgy?
>>
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>>28540526
I find them extremely sexy for a pony to have, let alone collect.
>>
>>28540526
Realisticly yes, the ponies need scars to show signs of wear.
>>
>>28519214
underrated post
>>
FUCK
>>
>>28540526
Erthilo had this pnp character, earth pony with 10 END and a lotta scars. He managed to make it look gud too. Just wish I had a picture.
>>
Do the drawings here usually draw whatever they feel like?
>>
>>28542290
Drawfags*
>>
>>28542290
the only one left here is neuro and he draws whatever, so... i guess?

bris and datte are around sometimes but they're too busy to draw for thread.
>>
>>28542313
If I can find a decent tablet+stylus then I wouldn't mind drawing for you guys on weekends
>>
So the internet is officially on DEFCON 1?
>>
>>28542290
Back when I played drawfag here people didn't seem to know what they really wanted drawn. Requests were usually random and on-the-spot things few actually cared for. As a result I usually just draw my own ideas and if they relate to the thread, I post them. Though not so often anymore.
>>
>>28543093
What makes you say that?
>>
>>28543519
/pol/ stuff.
Basically, US had control over domain stuff like .com, .org, etc.

Obama handed it to the UN, so now places like China and "Best Korea" have a say in what places can show up. If a government doesn't like what the net has to say, the domain can go bye-bye or not get renewed, like, say, 4chan.org not being allowed to renew because a country bitched they didn't like cartoon horses.

Essentially it allows for governments to indirectly censor the net via whinging. It was directly caused by things like Snowden leaking.

Essentially, Ministry of Image just got into power for full on censorship mode but isn't on display.
>>
>>28543793
You mean the 96 Congress had the US gov divest itself of government ownership in ICAAN as part of free market and that DNS has multiple free alts to use, as well as none of this effecting direct IP.
Fuck of /pol/ser this is my turf.
>>
>>28543893
>he thinks it's not gonna get regulated to shit and back again via whinging
fuck off shill
>>
>>28540526
depends, for the most part the fact that ponies have fur would cover most cuts, and small scars, so it can be a bit of the edgy to have ponies simply be coverd in them. as it shows how shitty they are at not getting seriously hurt.

As for done right, the scars sould tell a tell of a battle survived, trauma taken. so if the pony has a big ass cut on their face, there sould be a story behind it. This couls incluse that they are a moron, and though cutting themselves would be a good way to loos wait, but in the end just scared themselves.
>>
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>>28544200
>Has no idea who his DNS provider is

Please, do tell why the ultimate spy machine is being shutdown?
>>
>>28544354
>shut down
of course not, it's the ultimate spy machine. ^:)
now with zigger influence
>>
>>28543893
Aye. Like Google DNS (okay that's saying "I don't want this guy to spy on me so I'll have google spy on me some more!") or openDNS or a couple of others
>>
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>>28544240
>>
Alright guys, so I've been told the podcast is degrading in quality, What do you thing?

Do you like it with guests, or do you prefer it when it's just me?
>>
>>28545326
Its because you let nymph speak.
>>
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>>28542290
Yup, you should see the littlepip drawing, she's always drawing qt mares.
>>28542313
>>28538722
pls im sure most of the other drawfags are busy, or like me and procastinate way too much.
>>
>>28545326
probably more guests, get some feedback between them. Maybe reach out to other Fo:E groups, get the hole community on board.

http://www.fimfiction.net/group/240/fallout-equestria/thread/277406/foe-writers-skype-group-established-writers-helping-new-wrights

this one has a bunch of people to talk with, never hurts to expend the people who talk with you.

Also http://www.fallout-equestria.com/chat I heard that you can contact Kkat there if your lucky.

Other then that 2 hours is a bit much, if you can keep it to 1 hour, that work better unless you split it between to subjects.
>>
>>28545490
Not the Swede she was expecting!
>>
>>28545326
I thought the 2nd episode was more entertaining and interesting than the 1st, so no complaints from me
>>
>>28545326

I don't get why you bashed Horizons. If you want to do a Horizon episode, get Somber to speak for himself. Don't let whoever that moron was put words in his mouth.
>>
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>>28545733
Dice pls leave
>>
>>28545733
arguably the author is the WORST person to talk to about any given story because they're too close to it to look at it honestly
>>
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>>28545733
Pls

>>28545326
I thought it was fine. I personally would like more discussion on theoretical writing ideas. Things to try doing or going for when writing, like how to handle the common staples and elements that appear in most fics in a way that gives them their own sense of uniqueness.

Protagonist meets a raider for the first time, learns what caps are, etc.

I do enjoy the casual shitposting of the verbal variety though, it's fun.
>>
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>>28545807
I chose the wrong image. Woops.
>>28545733
>>
>>28545798

Or they're honest about their work. Somber's never said Horizons was perfect. In fact, he agrees with just about any criticism you make about it. It'd be nice to hear his side of things.
>>
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>>28545845
>>
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>>28545845
>he agrees with just about any criticism you make
Yeah, that's cus he's a bitch and a kiss ass. He doesn't care if people don't like his story, he just wants people to like HIM.

David is a massive faggot.
>>
>>28545967

How does that make him a faggot, exactly?
>>
>>28546030
It means he is David Trump.
>>
>>28546033

Still not an answer. If he said Horizons was the best shit ever written, would he not be an faggot?
>>
>>28545845
>Or they're honest about their work
no that's just like, objectively wrong. the entire reason editors exist is because authors are too close to their own work to see all of its flaws, and the usual self-conscious artist "oh all my work is trash"/your own worst critic thing doesn't count. any creative is going to spend so much time with their own work that they get acclimatised to systemic and methodological flaws and start to ignore them, and they NEED a second pair of eyes to identify them. this is part of rule #1 of creative work, that you only get better work by iterations of the draft process.

the moment you get an author to start DEFENDING their own work, you have left the realm of literary criticism and have entered the world of uninteresting fandom politics and ego maintenance.
>>
>>28546054
It's bad because it shows that, in the end, he doesn't care about the quality of his work. It's just a vehicle to create the hugbox, attention, and dick sucking he needs.

This can be shown in his work on how he would constantly pussy out of killing major characters like Glory because it would 'upset the fans', even though Glory was intended to die and really had no purpose or further potential plot lines to use after being kept alive. This is also why he went on a massive killing spree at the end of PH since he finally had the excuse to kill them without angering his fans as much because they'd cry 'muh feel ;_;' but accept it.

Also having Somber on the talk is bad because he's already talked in this thread about a dozen times already along with occasional shitposting. All his answers and attempts at 'defending' his work just made it more obvious how much of a faggot and egotistical cockslut he really is.
>>
>>28545326
Get nymph on. Whatever happens it will be entertaining.
>>
>>28546098
>Glory was intended to die
Don't forget about Blowjob. Remember, she was supposed to die and the story was going to pick up with Scotch Tape?

And then instead of killing BJ off for good at the end of PH, he bitched out and had her come back as a pseudo-clone using her blank body and gave Scotch the sequel instead.
>>
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>>28543893
>ICAAN being owned by UN which has no 1st amendment protections whatsoever is better/not-any-worse than the US government owning it as it apparently somehow contributes to free market this way
You just went full retard.
>>
>>28546030
I literally gave you a fantastic reason in the post you responded to. I don't like entertaining autism like this, use your brain.

Okay I kinda do, but seriously, pay attention you fuckstick.
>>
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>>28546116
>as proclaimed by someone who thinks ICAAN is going to the UN

I would not say I have developed psionics here yet, but I do understand CTCT.
>>
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>>28545770
once again, not me you twat.

>>28545733
because they bash anyone that's not part of their click. And that PH is on of the most popular Fo:E fic's ever. I mean it practicly the "Twilight" of the Fo:E fan fiction community, though with a more interesting main character.

As far as I know, they probably Hate Kkat, but Somber is the easiest target to ever be. They hate me, because I put time, thought, effort, and even my own money into my stories. Something they seem unwilling to do any of, and choose to shit on others as their hobby. At times it just feels that they get together to have one big curcal jerk just because they done have the spine to make their own shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzpjN8tWKto&feature=youtu.be

Yep, that's the level they drop to, and they say I'm bad for the fandom, at least I make shit for it, make in and finish it. If you don't like it, don't read it, or down vote it. But to huddle together like some cock hungry slugs, so high on your own ego, but too pathetic to make anything of your own. I'd pitty them, but I got better things to do, like writing a new Fo:E story.
>>
>>28546227
You sound like the kind of guy who works graveyard at a gas station.

Do you have any friends?
>>
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>>28546227
t. Somber
>>
>>28546326
and here we are, why I'm getting a bit miffed here. Just because I would not take your fucked up 2 dollar bill, your holding a grudge, and watching me at my work. Fucking hell dude, get a life. or at least show me who you are.
>>
>>28546368
t. agressive namefag
>>
>>28546227
>>28546368
I support Dice and agree the rest of you are being big meanie tits. Let's talk about rape fetishes instead.
>>
>>28546403
t. Commodus
>>
>>28546403
Let's not, how about guns.
>>
>>28546423
Guns are phallic and penetrate into innocent pegasi wings in an orgy of blood and noise. They are mechanical rape cannons.
>>
>>28545733
I didn't bash Horizons. The only critique I gave was there was too much sex. If you don't agree with Armex, that's on him, not me. I don't believe in censoring people's opinions. You'll notice that when Armex did bash people, I just moved on
>>
>>28546468
What was with the noodles?
>>
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>>28546368
I, AM YOUR FATHER.
>>
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>>28546423
how about armor instead?
>>
>>28545326
I feel like the stream actually hampered the format a lot. The stream chat kept distracting you and Armex with text that we couldn't see, and the Q&A at the end dragged the length on way, way too long, again, with questions that we couldn't see. It was kinda fun at the time, but I feel like the host and guest should have the stream chat closed throughout.

Also, I think after two weeks with a guest on it's time for one or two of the shorter, audio-essay style podcasts for a change.
>>
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>>28546552
Pony armor dos not get nearly as much attention as it should. And personally, Raiders are left too out in the open to how they look armor wise. Their armor should reflect the mindset of their group, ans how insane they have become.
>>
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>>28546552
How about latex
>>
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>>28546423
The guns in brittan are kinda neat, webm related.
>>
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>>28546552
>>28546627
enclave tests built-in armour sandwich
>>
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>>28546593
What's Isaac pony doing in that picture?

And not all raiders are insane, only the Omega types and groups are. That patchy armor is just whatever they can find, strapped together in the most useful way they can.

There are perfectly acceptable Clan raiders who have culture, a mindset, a family, and even values. Like dis lil cutie.
>>
>>28546593
The issue is, armour can't be identical because there are really no working factories to make it. A dress code is good, but uniforms are unrealistic, even if they are from a pre war stockpile. That pic looks really too advanced for FOE imo. I'd even go so far as to say each suit of power armour should have little individual details, like repairs or customisations.
>>
>>28546644
>scoped knife
Oh god, you brought it back.
>>
>>28546482
What?
>>
>>28546656
Being a badass, that's what.

True, and this is something I often see missing in most Fo:E story's. a bit disappointing relay.

>>28546661
It's Dance of the Orthrus. The story takes place in an underground civilization. pluse much of the stuff is refurbished stable-tec security armor. It works for what it is.

As for the power armor. I so agree, 200 years of use in a wasteland, each armor would have it's own story to tell, and the markings to show. I did that with an enclave character, where he was actually wherein his grandmothers scouting uniform.
>>
>>28546734
I didn't ask about your story, I simply wanted to inform you that I dislike the uniform.

Dice pls
>>
>>28546800
Stop abusing my husbando! That's my job.
>>
>>28546817
Husbando!? I am now confused, and concerned.
>>
>>28545326
Personally I found episode 3 to be my favorite. Armex was very entertaining, entertaining enough to excuse his occasional autism sperging. What I felt was missing was structure. I don't mind going off subject a bit, it's not that. Rather, it's about being even more prepared regarding the subjects you're looking to take up. I'm really glad you gave Armex time to "shill" a bit as well. Imo guests should have their "thing" as a subject. Imagine getting Fuzzy on the podcast barely talking about MN7. Ouch. Not that their input on the other subjects aren't interesting.

I also don't get why you're streaming on Twitch when you're going to upload it to YouTube regardless. Just stream on YouTube! That way all the subs you've gathered so far will get a notice about the stream and the video will be saved automatically.
>>
>>28546923
>Armex was very entertaining, entertaining enough to excuse his occasional autism sperging.

aw thanx bby
>>
>>28546853
Yes!
You are my jovial epidermallly enhanced dubstep loving equine husbando.
>>
>>28547154
But I'm a Harpy.
>>
>>28547315
Too bad, you're my husbando, not my wife.
>>
>>28547595
as the tradition of a male harpy with a female after me, I will now fly away, fly as fast as possible.
>>
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>>28547636
>>28547595
>>28547315
>>28547154
>>28546853
>>28546817
take your rp somewhere else faggots
>>
>>28547709
Let's talk about enslaving pegasi and making them suffer until they piss themselves!
>>
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>>28547729
>>
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Page 9
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>>28548606
I had a thing to post but I'm waiting for Mech to upload it still.
>>
>>28548606
If only there was something going on like a fic review or something...
>>28525924
I mean is it badly formatted? Not descriptive to what is wanted?


Instead I find an imposter. Good fucking grief /FOE/ is this why I get so hated? I go off to be tested for whether I am an engineer, and I come back to find somebody failing to pose as me?
Seriously, grow up, write more, your adults, stop trying to be children and being stupid.
>>
>>28548674
>Seriously, grow up, write more, your adults, stop trying to be children and being stupid.
hue you're asking a lot of this thread boyo.
>>
>>28548706
Look if I can go out and get 3 degrees, 17 certs, work on a professional licence, setup a small volume contract production facility, you fucking dipbshits without a severe intellectual disability should be able to wipe your asses and stand up straight. If this is somehow beyond you, then I expect some apologies.

And you need to get on Skype.
>>
>>28548734
>you fucking dipbshits
WOW DON'T LUMP ME IN WITH THE REST OF THESE MISCREANTS

>And you need to get on Skype.
and you need to stop profiling based on stereotype. what, just because i said boyo that means i'm hoers? i'll have you know that i AM on skype you just don't know who i am.
>>
>>28548674
>>28548734
>Dice bought into the STEM meme
Well that would at least explain why he can't write for shit.
>>
>>28548778
>tfw no FoE version of this
>>
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>>28548757
>just because i said boyo that means i'm hoers? i'll have you know that i AM on skype
i am also on skep
>>
>>28548757
I'm not lumping you in there Datte Datte says boyo

Well I have never heard Hoers say boyo, and further its not something I really associate with the Irish anyways.


>>28548778
>Dice
>impersonated
Well we know my writing has improved, though I am not sure if for the better.

Also I find STEM fun, far better than the many people outside of it.
>>
>>28548798
>Datte
wrong again friendo
>>
>>28548818
Whelp, I got no clue then. Datte is the only one I've seen use boyo.
>>
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>>28548734
Im fucking impressed m8!
>>
>>28548828
>Whelp, I got no clue then.
all according to keikaku.
>>
>>28548784
the foe version needs a character to replace fluttershy with though. Who would be best?

Littlepip?
Blackjack?
Velvet Remedy?
Glimmer Light?
Steel Cherry?
Atom Smasher? blech
>>
>>28549557
Brimstone Blitz

He seems like the character who would most judge you with an eyebrow over speech.
>>
>>28549557
If fucking Tofu was still around we'd already have an FoE version is my point, anon.
>>
>>28549574
tofu is around, he's just incognito
>>
Well I wish to announce I am wrong. Not all of this fic can be named each chapter by anime, there is actually some more New Vegas and Wasteland 2 in here. For this chapter we have what happens if you fail to save the Agriculture Center in Wasteland 2, attacking evil plants. Fortunately it does not seem to have spore issues, possibly because the author wanted to constantly soak Ashred and Rick in plant goop.

So moving forward we have lost Shade, she seems to be unable to accompany Rick due to his bizarre one companion party system that previously lead to the death of Sweeper. Shade is left in Blank with her intact flank. So far as we see, she gets some snuggles D'aaa, the murdercorn has a soft spot for those who survive trying to kill himNo this does not mean I am encouraging art of a sleeping earth pone next to a scarred unicorn, that would be lood.But welcome for something nice for the thread So as it goes, Ashred gets to be a dick and mock Rick for having somebody to feel attached to Oh the irony at the fact he just killed his last attachment

Thus begins the epic quest of the story, the search for hat's object of love, a magical artifact. And with it a very fast plummet to PH tier material. See the object is a soul jar, and we run into yet another super unicorn after getting it. Oh gee, anime tier bullshit hax fights and soul jars, should I just go back to reading Project Horizons? At least that is decent for a few chapters...

So anyways the not!agriculture center is busy being not alive and malicious, instead just off and running with lots of very alive but normal plants. This is rather saddening as it makes the forumla of this fic seem oddly sad. Sure there was a short raider fight prior, but it was ended with a shotgun explosive slug and some slaves being found, so it makes the constant paragon fights come off as required end of chapter boss fights.
>>
>>28550077
So once in the facility, things are, well boring, its a waste of a scene as there are no threats and everything is just a leadup to the paragon. I was quite expecting something of plant men or other things again, even a ghoul. Instead I get a memory orb of a mare being orally tentacle raped until her jaw is powder and her rib cage is torn apart.
Remeber when I tried to be edgy and burn a pegamare? How it at least had a chapter of her being around first and had more to do with explaining her great adversity to fire and not being a dashite despite scars? Yeah well i think some people need to learn that edge is fucking bullshit for trying to say be shocked now, right up there with lights for laughter and a laugh track in a live audience. Just what the fuck...
Seriously, whoever recced this, reconsider your life choices, you went very wrong somewhere with this, or if you still don't get it, be happy in your mind for you are a blessing from God.

So anyways, one needlessly edgy memory orb later, Rick gets a collector's case for soul jars. Why? Because given how this is going to go, he's going to fill it, lose it, and then have to fight some Super Hate and I won't even get to make a Hitler Super Saiyan joke because this fic is doing so little to not make me think its just shamefully ripped from other sources and that I keep thinking of Scott Pilgrim instead of Two Kick Ripple.

So anyways, we meet ex number 2 and her pyromaniac love. Yet another super OC unicorn that would be pretty cool to have a fic actually use being reduced to a random boss fight because reasons and exmarefriend angst love.
Look author, I know you finished but god damned, you waste as much here as every bit of Evagalion fics having Shinji just blitz that first angel like its nothing More 90s anime references! So anyways, she can control flame, and even has a firery heat shield to stop slow fat bullets. Like shotgun rounds.
>>
>>28550077
I'm pretty sure Wasteland 2 came out AFTER this fic.
>>
>>28550163
Which is quite frankly amazing as it means that she is presumably able to melt said slug within a milisecond, Which basically means she is pumping out over a megawatt of energy to achieve this. Actually quite an impressive fat here.
But then all this is for naught as Ashred just shoots her with a bigger faster bullet and that's sort of it. She's alive but down long enough that the dynamic duo manage an escape and the chapter ends.

So really, super powered unicorns with interesting capabilities being wasted? Just why, they'd be so much more fun to see use them and do more, instead its just sort of a great waste feeling.

>>28550192
And you sir are correct!
Well unless its from the earlier sections of Wasteland 2 being revealed, but whatever.
That scene was just so fucking edgy I am calling uneeded bullshit that saps my will to go past chapter 5. No fucking point to it given the total lack of relevant remains to the plants.
>>
>>28550220
Well the author is rumored to have a thing for body trauma so idk if it was edge or just borderline fetish material.

Cus that isn't the only time that kind of shit happens.
>>
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>>28550220
keep going anon, you're doin great!
>>
Oh hey GoC stuff. I should check how the sequel came after Snow never remembered to have me actually preread thing.

>>28551283
Still quite proud of that picture. has many issues in perspective and anatomy, but I like how it came out.... shame it's fucking tiny.
>>
>>28551460
I read a handful of chapters from the sequel but it never updated. Been a while though so I may need to double check.
>>
>>28549557
>Atom Smasher? blech

The fuck you trying to say senpai? You dissing one of the deepest characters in FOE right now?
You slagging off my waifu? Muh precious Bolton-horse?
>>
>>28551283
>pic
I want to put my dick in that one.
>>
>>28551946
Be sure to time it to her bathing- get it just beforehand if you can; less harsh chemicals.
>>
>>28550684
That actually makes it worse really. Again going back to my infamous burned pegasus, yes having a broken bird that needs care is a bit of a fetish or is that empathy? I know I have empathy but it had a direct and proper place in the green. Here, it doesn't.
Short of that orb being used as a mine and take down on other unicorns, its really just there for edge, and worse fetish that does nothing.
Sex scene after some time? Pay off even if its just random talk. Latex Stable suit? Again fits. Armorkini for Enclave? The suit has to goo on somehow, makes sense it would break down.

All good ways to have fetish. This? No, not at all, and now makes it even worse than just being edge.
>>
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>>28552477
>Latex Stable suit
i didn't even put that in my fic because the likelihood of finding someone who shares your fetish in the wasteland is basically 0
>>
>>28552650
Who said anything about fetish? Its suit designed to seal and be resistant against wear and abrasion. vault suits were a pvc-special polymer with reinforcing from some fabric sleeves originally. All you did was ditch industrial PVC for easier to obtain latex.
For those wondering, its why Vault suits only have energy resistance, but get ballistic in the armored suits.
>>
>>28552671
Expanding,
Basically the thing is a latex suit is definite fetish fuel, but it has a very good reason for existence. Like with the gas mask thing, makes perfect sense to wear one in rad and contaminant heavy areas. I find these people odd, protective gear fucking sucks to wear, especially when you're then having to get it off solo without coming into contact with the randomly sprayed caustic goop for metal cleaning. I have burns, lots of small ones and some a 5 kroner in size. Its not a fetish at that point, even if you have your character leaking and moaning the whole time in it. Disturbing if you do that though, but simply remarking how they normally like such play and now need it to live is fine.

Basically, it gets back to the Oar Boats R Us, a fetish can be well written, even endearing. Randomly trying to clop in the middle of work because you smell your sweat and are in a tight suit is not a good way to do it. The best fetish peices are the ones only the author recognizes, such as rape, dismemberment, or being eaten by the wildlife. All perfectly legitimate story bits and reasons, all able to written so as not to be fetishes while still getting your rocks off. As an addendum to those, please keep it that way, its much harder on your editors when they're trying to forget you're writing a clop fic disguised as a normal piece.

Frankly this is something that needs to be retold many times, as too many fics kill themselves trying to insert progressively more fetish fuel and eventual clop rather than keeping it at a practitioner bonus. Think of how Disney hides porn in their films that it takes an adult to see and other references, aim for that in your fics. The rest of us never see the dildo hidden in Triton's castle, nor realize what the real fate that befell the villain, we're happy to see a story and here some songs.
>>
>>28552650
In-universe wasteland kink BBS networks over Pipbucks/Robronco servers when?
>>
>>28521366
Pretty fun. Not the best, but the hate for it is ridiculously overblown
>>
>>
>>28552835
When I get done tormenting pegasi into becoming modems.
>>
>>28554059
>fuzzy dice
My sides.
>>
Pay attention to me, yell at me, I deserve attention for making promises and breaking them. Are you not upset at me?
>>
>>28551460
wasn't she your waifu or raiderfu for a little while at some point?

I actually searched it up on derpi specifically to post at the review guy and I remembered you redrew this a few times.
>>
>>28551460
Since you've read it all, in a nonspoilerly way, do my complaints hold weight for the rest of the fic or does it improve? I'm coming to the end of my interest and allotted time on this fic, and can happily move onto another if so.
>>
>>28521366
I liked the game play but I found the story and options lacking
And I dislike how you cant skip parts of the main quest line like in fallout 3
>>
>>28525167
You are over encumbered
>>
>>28556623
Whenever I see the overencumbered text I think "You have no mouth and you must scream"
>>
Late night odd discussion times:

Why has nobody had a pony masturbate with a large bullet yet? Either as a sound or dildo, but just get rather horny and just pop one out?
Should be easy for the pegasi with them all having shells the size of their legs in their AMRs.


Why is post chem use never discussed?
THe intense dehydration, munchies, bleary eyes and constant rasping throat itch, much less the foul gas that is made from their use.
Why does it seem to stop the most at some personality trait and maybe a drunken bender? Where is the stuff that sets a chem user apart and makes them actually have lingering physical issues that others can notice?
>>
>>28557514
>masturbate
>bullet
>easy for pegasi
>pegasi

anon are you high

how the fuck is a pone without magic gonna manipulate such a small object
>>
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>>28557565
>small bullet
Anon, pegasi are for carrying big guns with calibers they actually measure with hooves.
>>
>>28557595
No they're not, you retard. A large bore weapon is going to fuck up their flight and they'll be shit at steadying their aim, that's why energy weapons are such a great pair for them. They're recoilless.
>>
>>28557614
That's why pegasi are written as snipers, they get to fly somewhere far off and wait. Then in their nest, they can happily fuck themselves with a round while they wait to shoot somepony.
>>
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>>28557614
That's right. Pretty, sparkly energy weapons for adorable smol pegamares.
>>
>>28558279
What, two pegasi? Frosty and Sapphire? Calamity is a rifleman and the most of the rest use energy weapons.
>>
>>28558417
And Mach (reluctantly) uses a LMG after his dad chewed him out on HMGs being a shit choice for pega-accuracy
>>
>>28558426
Tofu pls.
>>
>>28558417
That's because energy weapons are the best choice for frail, brittle, beautiful little waifus
>>
>>28558417
And then we have the various derpibooru ones, Flare has a bent up AMR, though prefers his grenade launchers.
Still a nice big suppository and sound for him.
>>
>>28557514
>why has no one used live ammunition as a toy for masturbation
Probably for fear of it going off and adding a new hole.

>Drug stuff
I can actually get behind this, there's really not enough mention of the side effects of drug use or withdrawal rather than the standard fallout summation of it.

>I used too many drugs, now I feel [insert stat decrease here]

I guess we'd need to ask ourselves, "What kind of side effects make sense for these drugs.

Med-x is basically morphine so we can just use real world examples.

Mintals could cause headaches and migraines, which it does if you remember Elijah's note about needing to ration them in Old World Blues.
>>
had a story idea a radio dj somehow kills a littlepip like hero during a interview and has to take over the job but has to hide this fact lucky for her they are both females so the body shape is the same and said hero wears new vegas like desert ranger armor and is never seen with out the Helmet on or sunglasses when in public.
>>
>>28558797
After reading that post I don't think you should ever attempt to write a story.

Learn grammar first.
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>>28558565
>Not using munition enhanced cum shots

So many of these things have to be named by their teens or kids, no way some 50-60 year old is this creative and on the ball with names.

>I can actually get behind this, there's really not enough mention of the side effects of drug use or withdrawal rather than the standard fallout summation of it.

I can add one here, usage of stimulants results in very noxious bowel stench gas. A heavy user who still is eating and all would be known for handing out gas masks to his comrades and apologizing at it. An odd bit of trivia, but one that definitely would make the fic seem more interesting for including.
>>
Do we still use "wasojec" as a way to describe bad fics around here?
>>
>>28558849
No, we just say its nymph tier right now.
>>
>>28558863
I can agree with this.
>>
>>28558827
just getting the idea out there.
>>
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Let's talk MCs, one of the more important characters of a given story. What are some good MCs and what are the really shitty MCs that are really boring and drag down their stories?

I think one facet that is often neglected is, if you want a story with a long continuous narrative (Aka 99% of sidefics), you need a Proactive protagonist versus a Reactive one. This means having a character who actively is working towards a tangible goal and the plot is mostly motivated by their efforts to achieve the goal. They get themselves involved in situations rather than have the situation come to them. Rather than a Reactive one where they simply stumble into situations and react to what others do to them.

A perfect example is Pip versus BJ. Pip has a general goal: She wants to kill all the jerks in the wasteland and make it better. The plot of FoE is driven by this conviction and it's why she involves herself in situations and takes the actions she does. It's why she freed the slaves in Old Appleloosa, it's why she visited Homage, why she went to Filly, why she killed The Goddess, etc.

Meanwhile, BJ doesn't really have any drive or reason to do anything. Why does she want to find out what's in EC-1011? Why did she involve herself in the political situation in The Hoof? Why did she kill the giant evil final boss moon spirit thing?

Because it was forced onto her. She was essentially a victim of circumstance the entire story. She has no goals, no dreams, no purpose, the only she really wants is to not die and the very vague 'Do betterer, muh Fiddy foals'. Which is just a weak 'motivation' but not a proactive goal. It's a start but ultimately unlike Pip she doesn't even know how or what she wants to make things 'better'.

Reactive aren't necessarily bad, the problem is just that they can't carry a continuous narrative that well. They serve better for episodic or short stories since they don't actually need a long plot. Though they can still work, there's just a catch...
>>
>>28559679
...They have to be working with someone who does have a goal. Another proactive character. An example of this would be Guts and Griffith from Berserk in the Golden Age arc. Guts, as he admits in the story, doesn't really have much purpose or drive in life other than survival. However, he ends up working for and devoting himself to Griffith, a character whose basic nature is one of endless ambition and want. This drives the day to day plot of the Golden Age Arc for most of it's run until the end. After the end of said arc Guts now has more purpose and drive in the form of protecting his loved ones and getting revenge on Griffith. Even then, Griffith is still a force in the story and his actions and their effect on the world are arguably a large focus of the plot.

Homage, Watcher, and Red Eye all served similar purposes as forces on the narrative and on Littlepip. They helped shaped her conviction and refine her goals.

Now, the 'goal' doesn't really need to be that complex, it's just gotta be fucking something. Even in a pure survival story like The Road there still was the basic goal of 'Let's head South and keep surviving' rather than just surviving. Even in that shitty super long Austraeoh Series there's a basic fucking goal Rainbow Dash is trying to accomplish. PH has no driving force and thus falls flat as a long-running story. likely because Somber lacks any motivation or conviction in real life It's an exercise in laziness and apathy. The character don't give a shit about anything they're doing, so why should I give a damn too?
>>
>>28559679
I like your effort but I can't really think of how to disagree.

I understand the need for a protagonist to actively seek out a goal, but I don't think that means you can't have a good story of a character going with the flow.

What if instead you had a situation where the protagonist ISN'T the party leader?
>>
>>28560022
That's kind of what I outlined in this post
>>28559855

Guts was essentially just a Party Member to Griffith really for most of the Golden Age arc. To turn PH into Berserk would be like, having a much more motivated BJ still be the party lead but the Protagonist is a mortal version of Rampage.

It could work but again someone needs to be at the driver's seat and have directions. To use Somber's infamous Car example: PH was Blackjack getting the party lost on a really dumb road trip with no directions where she let on random hitchhiker, got pretty much everyone killed, and she ended up killing cthulu by accident towards the end before the car finally burst into flames.

What I'm saying is that for the traditional FoE story structure, an unmotivated and listless Party Lead like Blackjack is a fucking death sentence for your story. Additionally the problem of having a Protag that just goes with the flow usually means it's the Antagonists who have to pic up the slack. Imagine a Wasteland Economics with no Malice.

And like I said, a Reactive character can make for good story, just not in your traditional FoE story. If you want a reactive character you're gonna need to change up how your write your story or it's gonna get real boring real fast. Episodic or a shorter and faster pace. Not long 100k+ slogs FoE is known for.
>>
>>28536276
>belt fed shotgun
>trigger guard is a backwards, fuckhueg, trigger.
>kind of looks like a pump-action
>EoTech-esque abomination made of a collection of rectangles
>the magazine tube is actually a barrel that fires a larger projectile than the barrel on the top

Dude what the fuck? I'm going back to /k/.
>>
>>28560448
>>
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PSA:
Remember to share your captive soft stable cuddleslut with the whole community.
It's the neighborly thing to do.
>>
>>28559679
>no goals, no dreams, no purpose
It's worth mentioning that this criticism could be levelled at Pip too. Pip doesn't really have a reason for anything she's doing besides that she's decided to do it. Considering this is someone whose only hobby prior to the story appears to be picking locks, "justice" doesn't really ring true as her reason for her amazingly risky adventure. She's proactive, which serves a plot, but she's hollow. She lacks another property essential for your main character, which, tragically, BJ does have:

Appeal. Charm. At least from chapters 1-17, Blackjack appeals as a fuck-up who's in way over her head. She can't even do basic security stuff and just wants to go play cards and flirt all day, and now she's expected to be the hero of the wastes? Naturally this appeal is run into the ground after this, as instead of growing meaningfully as a character she rapidly descends into pointless angst and comes out as JESUS ALLEGORY at the end, but early on, Blackjack had that over Pip.

I honestly don't care if the viewpoint character is in the passenger seat of their adventure, as long as they're interesting to spend time with. If they don't have any personality or spin on the events they're driving, I'll find it difficult to care about them.
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>>28561791
I know that of course. Problem is force of personality usually can't carry a long story, which is partially why BJ deteriorated while Pip didn't. Even though Pip's motivations are kinda shaky, there are Homage and Watcher in the story who serve to essentially tell her what to do and why she should do it.

Even then, BJ's 'amazing appeal' is greatly overrated. Shes only gotten drunk twice, both times in 1-16 and yet in fanart its one of her defining characteristics of her being a happy drunk. That's because BJ was actually extremely shallow and Somber even struggled to outline her basic personality and backstory. Like how her flashbacks completely contradict her actions early on in the story, or hell later in the story, how she repeats herself over an over (Kill some enemies and cry then bury them, later after killing dozens of more enemies from the same faction she suddenly bursts into tears again and orders them buried even though she didn't give a shit before) bland than Pip and then lost any sort of drive or villain.

See, for BJ to be a fuck-up who's in way over her head, there has to be someone or something that is posing a threat to her. 1-16 had this with the form of Deus. He chased BJ and put a sense of danger and momentum to the story. But when Deus 'died', Somber failed to find a suitable narrative replacement. Sanguine was a fucking mess and is probably the perfect example of how not to write a villain.

Name a single interesting or memorable PH villain after Deus (memorable for good reasons) and you start to see the problem. Even though BJ could have no drive and carry it by force of personality, she never had any real personality in the first place. And even early PH had direction and purpose that was squandered and left with a do nothing story for 1.8 million words that ended in the dumbest ending Somber could have possibly done.
>>
So given my birthday is Wednesday, how do ponies deal with that crippling feeling of noone being around to celebrate with them?
How do ghouls deal with the dropping number of friends as the years go by?
What sort of nongifts/gifts to self should characters do to try and maintain there is something nice in the wasteland?
>>
>>28562186
if you'll read carefully I was mostly talking about 1-17, after that the story is completely rudderless also if your story is cresting over 200k you should really think about where you have gone wrong
>>
>>28562275

Do you have a favorite wasteland horse?
>>
>>28562275
Well you can have a happy birthday from me anon, it's not all bad.

As for pones, I guess it would depend on the pony in question but I would imagine ghouls doing one of a few things.

Going feral or getting close to it on said birthday.

Setting up a little party of one and reminiscing on old and fond memories of friends past.

Nothing, cus they're jaded by now.
>>
>>28561791
She had motivation. Her initial motivation is her life in the Stable sucks and she's consumed by pussylust for Velvet.
>>
I like PH. Read it more than the original fic.
>>
>>28562595
And after that?
>>
>>28562298
Yes, Flare from heroes.
>>
“Hey, Murk, you there?” Glimmer slipped in the door of their shared apartment, looking for her little brother. The work detail had been hard for her, one of the boilers used to power a turbine had gone cold, and she had been the unlucky one to have to deal with getting it started. Her pristine white coat was soiled with spots of coal dust and the red of rust. Each of her steps on the floor were heavy, her body kept up only because collapsing would take effort. She looked on the sofa and saw him, curled up on himself and shivering, ears tucked tight against his head. He still held the nub loosely in his mouth, sketchbook opened to a partially done image of the strange grey mare that had thrown Filly into chaos.
>>
>>28562794
She moved closer, gently plucking his pencil and setting it on an end table before looking through the journal. The beginning was crude, jagged in its form as much from its owner’s lack of skill as he hurt. Flipping through the pages, they became more refined, yet still of hurt, the pain he had suffered at the ministrations of Chainlink Shackles as much as the grinding wear of being stuck alone in this hellcamp. Flipping through, she found the page, the one he had asked to draw when they had first met, something quite different from before. A sense of belonging rose from the page, a bit of happiness captured as surely as any memory orb she had played with. Flipping further she found Brimstone, confidence and strength of his features leaping off the page.
>>
>>28562798
Carefully, she closed the book, looping the leather cord around it and the charchol, before putting them on the shelf. Gently she climbed onto the sofa, doing her best to not make it shift beneath her aching body and hovered out a blanket. Wrapping a leg around Murky, she tucked him close to her breast and pulled the blanket up tight. It had been a long wearing time in Filly on both of them, as much had been lost as they feared, but never as much as it could have been. They still had each other, and that was what mattered. Slowly, Glimmer fell asleep her brother starting to warm as the night bore down on them.
>>
>>28559679
the only problem I have with this post and it's follow-ups is this: it sounds like it assumes that a particular character is going to be permanently proactive or reactive, or not slip into and out of one or the other.

A reactive character discovering a goal that resonates with them, then turning proactive, sounds a bit like development. Say, a bright and happy person turning reactive and into a slog of "survival only." They have to get back into a proactive mode after failing something they thought crucial. From there they can succeed or fail. These particular swaps need to be reasonably justified, though, and not overused, which is where things tend to fall apart.

A character that flops back and forth between it as their schtick is going to get fucking annoying very quickly, hence, BJ.

A raider with a temper issue that shoots a friend- reactive. They regret it and then go on a quest to find a perfect "I'm sorry" present. Suddenly, proactive, and would have more to their character than BJ simply from the assumptions people in the thread have about raiders.
>>
>>28562816
good point
>>
I've read FOE around 6 times all the way through now. I've avoided the spinoffs and fanworks but I'm getting bored so I figured I might as well try it.
where should I start? Which are ACTUALLY good, like the original?
>>
>>28563019
I suggest reading Gardener and Pink Eyes. Not the longest, not the most connected or involved, but something nice to start while people give you alternatives.

You also need to define what you found good about the original and would like more of.
>>
>>28563038
>You also need to define what you found good about the original and would like more of.
Haha well that's a tall order, aint it?
I guess it was the connectivity of the world, but especially the connectivity of the present with the past, namely the interesting blend of fallout with mlp go form the pre-war timeline.
Lore is a big factor I guess. Scope?
>>
>>28563019
Murky Number Seven and Gardener. There aren't any other sidefics as good as the original as far as I know. They aren't the original though, so naturally they can't introduce a new world the way FoE did. For that you'll have to find a completely different fanfic unrelated to FoE.
>>
>>28563084
>For that you'll have to find a completely different fanfic unrelated to FoE.
I've had "it's a dangerous business" queued up for a while, is it good?
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>>28563019
Do we still like WEcon?
>>
>>28563097
When did we not?
>>
>>28563097
Damn right we do!
>>
>>28563097
What is WEcon?
>>
>>28563194
Get out
>>
>>28563194
>http://www.fimfiction.net/story/163079/fallout-equestria-wasteland-economics
Educate yourself, fool.

>>28563189
Our like is on temporary suspension until Ham gives us a new chapter, anon.
>>
>>28563194
Wasteland Economics.
http://www.fallout-equestria.com/story/892
>>
>>28563056
read up to, and ONLY up to, chapter 33 of Project Horizons.
>>
>>28563222
>>28563213
I like the look of this, based on the little summary.
Anything else I should know before jumping in? Should I read something first, Murky or Gardner or Pink Eyes?
>>
>>28563235
Why so specific?
>>
>>28563235
>>28563056
Oh, and let me stress this again;
DO NOT GO FURTHER THAN CHAPTER 33 IF YOU DO READ IT.
Past that point, the story really, really loses itself. Chapter 33 can make for a very fitting end and in the original plans for the author, it kind of was the end. It was going to be much different to how it turned out, at least, but the author changed his mind during production.
>>
>>28563250
Yeesh, alright already.
>>
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Hey guys, im allive and not wearing boots all day long again.

Now, I just have to get used to my new Tablet with some sketchstuff and im back in buisness of drawing horses. Have a Pip
>>
>>28563243
See >>28563250
And if you really, really aren't satisfied with that, this is a heavy, heavy spoiler.
No, I am not joking. 100% legit spoiler as to why you shouldn't go a single chapter further than 33.
The main character was supposed to die at 33. Another character was meant to take the helm. Something else happens instead and that's when the dye is cast.

Some people would argue the story should be stopped at chapter 16, and I can understand that they see the story as starting to slide into madness after that point, but you won't see it for what it is at the time. Nobody at the time said stop reading Project Horizons, it was only post-33 that it became obvious.
>>
>>28563272
It's got 58 chapters. Almost half the story is off the rails? Damn. Well alright, i'll start there, and stop at 33.
I'm not reading the spoiler by the way.
>>
>>28563097
Dem freckles
>>
>>28563280
Fair enough, don't blame you. It wasn't outright saying exactly what happens, but it was more than enough for if you had looked at it.
Honestly, its a bloody amazing story up to 16 and a great, wonderful story up to and including 33.
It has a rich environment, new lore, unfortunate changes to old lore in some spots but still compelling with those. Funny characters, sad moments, adrenaline fuelled fights.
I personally actually thought it was better than the original by chapter 15.

The first 1-6 chapters seem a little slow in a way. Not as slow as Murky Number 7 (which is also regarded with very high esteem amongst many), but its just... setting the tone, really.
7-14 will warm you up to it quicker than you'll realise and 15/16 will seal the deal.
That's how most people feel, I think. That's definitely how I felt and for those who I've asked, they've felt roughly the same.
>>
>>28563304
>flank-chasing lesbian whose only talent is telekinesis
I dunno, it's already losing me.
>>
>>28563271
So what is your service or battle rattle like?
>>
>>28563330
She's not really a lesbian, that's just something that started it all off because that's what Littlepip was.
Somber was a little bad for copy/pasting some elements like that, but I promise, give it a proper chance at least.
>>
>>28563340
Oh don't worry, I'm gonna, I have faith in the "it picks up in a few chapters" thing.
And I totally get working in a winning formula.
>>
>>28563342
I appreciate that. That's the trouble with a lot of stories really. Most authors, and that in no way excludes myself, have little to no idea how to really open a story with much interest.
Too much time is spent trying to give the reader some basic grasp of who or what your character is to think about how to grasp you from the get go, but that's just an issue with stories as a whole I suppose.

Movies, games, TV, they can all show you a glimpse of something exciting and mysterious and you'll give it the few seconds of attention necessary to get you interested enough to give it a go. Books? Books have to rely on you either having some idea what the book is about and being interested in that or hanging on blind luck that someone will give you a chance as you at least try to scramble a setting together.
>>
>>28563336

I will just leave this link here for that, because I love how her expression says it all
http://www.bundesheer.at/abzeichen/galerie/vollbild/kaz_08.jpg
>>
>>28563471
Dat AUG.
>>
Sometimes, not most of the time, but sometimes, I miss this scene. Only when I've got nothing of interest going on, generally, but yeah. Happens most when I'm walking to work. I'll think of Eos and Cherry and I miss all the time I spent doing this shit.
Then I get to doing something and completely forget about it all.
>>
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Okay, fuckers, I want you take me to task for this.

I'm gonna get out the my next chapter of TC by the 31st, or on the 31st, of October. It's been too long and I've been too idle, I think, and leaving it unfinished ( as well as something for ham) is finally getting to me.

If I don't, don't ever let me live it down. If the board gets deleted or whatever, just start another thread on that other chan, or keep up with it via this link, because fuck fimfiction I don't wanna see like numbers inflating my ego and causing me to make bad decisions to get more numbers.

>drive.google.com/open?id=0B8sVWTfo4cDCbFN3MlI5N1F5YkE
>>
>>28563609
Kip pls

Why don't you get back on the ride then you silly nignog.
>>
>>28563915
Because there's no ride left for me. Work has me working long hours, the fiancee has my time whenever she does and pone hasn't truly been something of an interest in so long now.
I mean, sure, there's traces of interest that will always linger, but for the most part, its missing the days when I used to write and fall in love with the characters like I did.
>>
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>>28563749
I've got my eye on you faggot.
>>
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have some OC, hot off the inkscape presses
>>
>>28564215

Thats awesome, thanks man

Also im so glad Frecklepip is the standard now
>>
>>28564237
I just want to take a soldering iron to all of the unfreckled pips and make them perfect
>>
>>28564215
Yay!
>>
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Thread's awful fast rn
>>
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Would anyone be interested in a Fallout Equestria discord server? I've got one going here.
https://discord.gg/49YtnPD
>>
>>28565908
I'm blocked from speaking even though I just joined. Pls help
>>
>>28565908
Can't type, am forbidden.
Is this what being an earth pony is like?
Complete and utter helplessness at doing anything?
>>
>>28566012
>>28566060
Should be fixed now.
>>
Ponies with chainsaws.
How would you do it without just having a unicorn use TK?

Hard mode: Do better than AppleTart and have a cyborg with a chainsaw somewhere useful. And no the dick is not useful for when you want to saw logs, that means sleep not sex.
>>
>>28566286
Battle-Saddle mounted chain-lances
The FO:E answer to the Chainsword
>>
>>28566286
>foragewithachainsaw.png
>>
>>28566286
Maybe some kind of hoof mount or strap? Might need to walk on three legs while wearing.
>>
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>>28566286
Something like this?
>>
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So I decided to visit the FOE fimfic page. It seems like they all believe there is some evil conspiricy where fimfic users dislike FOE fics just because they say FOE in the title. Do you think this is actually the case? or is it more just they are awful at writing.
>Pic semi related.
Left is a thread about "What is OP"
Right is "What you think of muh fanfic crew"
>>
>>28568027
It's not a conspiracy, it's true. It's also not isolated to fimfic.

People on reddit and EqD also whine and bitch about FoE whenever it pops up. If an FoE fic hits the frontpage it usually collects some down thumbs. Not as much as say, a couple years ago, but you're guaranteed at least two or more down thumbs if you make frontpage.
>>
>>28568053
I mean, to be fair, most the fics I've seen deserve it. I have yet to see an foe fic that had a solid first 3 chapters and a bad like dislike ratio. Do you have an example of a good fic that was shat on for no good reason? The ones I clicked on from the group seem to fall under at least one of the following
>Poor grammar
>Overused plot devices/unoriginal
>Way too many tags (Comedy, dark, sex, adventure, slice of life)
>Self incert
>Just shit
The ones with decent ratings don't seem that bad, just don't seem very interesting. More like a DLC for FOE or PH instead of a "new game."

You can make an argument that PH deserves more hate but I honestly thought it was off to a good start.
>>
>>28568027
>top right
good thing I have a trash bin next to my computer cus I just threw up my guts. How fucking gross are those characters.
>>
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>>28568189
>>28568027
>wingless ground born pegasus
Gross
>unicorn that only uses melee weapons
Okay so what?
>Zony ghoul assassin
I would have rolled my eyes if it was just a zigger but holy fuck man...
>a medical android with jetwings
What the fuck am I reading???
>a bunny bear hybrid in power armor
What the fuck am I reading.
>>
>>28568027
Keep in mind that FOE isn't just Fallout Equestria, it's also Fall of Equestria. Which is a group of really badly written clopfics.
>>
>>28568448
Let's cross them over!
FOE:FoE
>>
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>>28563280
>Almost half the story is off the rails?

Actually waaayyy more than half. The earlier chapters are far shorter than the later ones.

The first 15-20 chapters average about ~10,000 words.
Then they start to get longer and the post-33 ones are massive 25,000-30,000+ slogfests.
>>
Where's the tape, why aren't we talking about rape? I demand more pegasi rape by hellhounds as they piss themselves in fear!
>>
>>28569085
Tape rape?
As in using duct tape to wax hairy crotches?
>>
So, pleasantly surprised, this chapter represents a nice point of the fic running on its own without issues beyond the expected using of other Fallout settings, Underworld in this case. This is quite nice as it leaves the fic feeling to be more of its own and less of just a rip off fic.
I am happy for this, but now its a bit late in where its going for me. My interest really dropped off due to the start just being so over the top in terms of anime influence.

Future writers, learn to escalate! There is a reason you face one hp monsters before hitting the miniboss as common enemy parts in a game.

In this chapter, Rick finds out ghouls are real biters. The primary focus is not on the combat so much as trying to setup the idea of the underground ghouls as being an actual city, and that Rick is forbidden by author fiat from ever not being injured and needing a healing potion. This leads to him and Ashred finding out that its not a good idea to open sealed doors, and later that Rick cannot fly.

Their injuries from the fight get treated by a unicorn who seems far to obsessed with being a diagnosis machine than an actual pony, but is mostly just weird as agreed in story. She can also teleport and has an xray spell, so once more random powers on unicorns. Very nice this time.

Combat is kind of the center of this chapter, against the ferals, but its not really much. Lots of beating and more beating as the two realize why waste bullets when you can tear them to shreds. This kind of stops when they meet an immortal ghoul that is part of the MOP projects forming the backstory of the fic. At which point lots of shooting occurs for little effect as the ghoul does not die.

Final notes is the duo are now scavenger guards and they have a new companion.

Overall, I just kind of feel bored with it by now. The lack of buildup really just kind of made my interest vanish now that its trying to put that missing build up in.
>>
>>28569743
So this really is kind of where I'm at, the fic is fine, its just more that I have hit 5 and don't really feel a reason to go on.

As such, should I continue with GOC, or shall I move onto a new fic?
Let the responses guide me.
>>
>>28569752
Well I can't force you to keep going but I like your interpretation on things so I'd say keep going. It's entertaining.
>>
Me again.
Might be getting hit by hurricane Matthew.
Even if all my shit's destroyed plz don't let me live it down.
>>
>>28570595
Which of the two stallions fuggs Quartz in her tight marehole?
>>
Should Tail Winds help Crafter get over his sexual inexperience by giving him a wing bone job?

https://derpibooru.org/1134984
>>
>>28571103
>futa
No!
>>
>>28570891
Neither, she ruinsSnapshot's shit, and assumes he's dead by the time they see each other again
>>
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How many gay stallion MCs are there? Other than Mach letting Trapraid fuck him in the ass I can't seem to remember any others.

I ask because my MC may be one of those few gay Stallion MCs and I wanna see if the others did anything wrong.
>>
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>>28571448
I'd offer her a trussed-up Pip
>>
>>28571475
Can it be considered canon if it only happened in a commissioned picture?
>>
>>28571501
No, Mach fucking Trapraid is canon to Outlaw. He was drunk and didn't remember it but still, I think there was some dialogue that implied he was on the bottom as well so.
>>
>>28571576
Art as well.

>>28571475
Occupational Hazards has many gay stallions. Its Russian so I wager there is a connection.
>>
>>28571647
Isn't that the one with all the pictures on derpi? Is it any good? I was a bit turned off since one of the MCs has two tails like Tails from Sonic, which is always a red flag.
>>
>>28571576
Was this in the old version? I don't think you can really count it if it didn't happen in the rewrite anon.
>>
>>28571972
The two tail thing rarely comes up and is an agreeablely stupid thing, it has an almost set precedent of him always being near a reactor, but is never explained where he got it seeing as his mom did not have it.
Blame it on the author being special for special.
Its a long full ride and not as bad as PH.
Its set up as a slice of life and is much more in game spirit in how it sort of shuffles from "mission" to mission instead of having some big grand plot thing.
Apparently its part of a growing metaverse of fics that all acknowledge and reference each other from various authors.
Kind if neat that it does that really.
>>
>>28572048
Huh, that could be cool I do like how apparently it started out as just short little chapters to accompany pictures. Not sure how it'd come together as a cohesive narrative, but it sounds like it'd be better paced then some of the autistically long chapters fics are known for. I'll give it a chance and give the autism a bit of a pass.
>>
>>28572086
If you've seen the pics you've seen the worst then.
>>
Should protagonists rape raiders, or should it be left that raiders rape protagonists as the moment a character is supposed to break?

Pull boat Blackjack or the as yet unseen raping protagonist?
>>
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>>28572536
No
>>
Which pone is best at kisses?
>>
>>28572011
Hmm, I think it still happens in the new version but I'm not sure...Too bad we can't ask Loafu anymore because Riddles scared him off.
>>
>>28573111
How can we scare off Riddles oh tripple?
>>
>>28573152
Make him admit he's a homo
>>
>>28571475
>Stallion MC
The gay is fine, anon. That right there, though, is your biggest problem.
>>
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>>28573276
What's wrong with a Stallion MC?
>>
>>28573369
I am filled with discomfort when nymph's boner blocks the sun.
>>
>>28573369
The lesbian mare protag is the central tenant of all fallout equestria fics, anon.
>>
>>28573369
He looks like a seal.
Somebody give him a feesh.
>>
>>28573468
Then how to you explain Murky and Pink Eyes? Puppy isn't a lesbian and Murky may be girly, but he still has a dick. 2/5 Big 5 don't have lesbians, and BJ/Silver are Bi.
>>
>>28573496
Anon, Silver is sexual only for anonymous.
>Ring more green of anon and Silver.
>>
>>28573468
It's better for sidefics to start brand new stories, rather than motorboat Pip's perky crotchtits.
>>
>>28573521
Actually Silver is sexual for Flare. You can't deny she wants that druggy D
>>
Is Passel FOE or just a thread joke? Will she ever get some story here?
>>
>>28573169
https://youtu.be/laKJBOyGgg4
>>
>>28574091
Can't be Riddles, he is being funny and not yelling at Nymph to stop shitposting.
>>
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>>28574189
Believe what you want senpai
>>
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just a little bump before bed.
>>
>>28573521
Would she tell us it's no use?
>>
>>28573662
I'm not sure what you mean, who is Passel and what do they have to do with FoE?
>>
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>>28575770
Passel is an OC doghorse that's made of Pink Cloud, and that's just about it.
>>
>>28573614
but she has only shown interest for that alicorn
>>
>>28568027
I know that back when I used to write, I noticed I got thumbs down before -any- views were even registered. (As in, I knew exactly how many times I'd opened it up to edit the first chapter or two, and there was nothing extra on that.)

However, it was never something stupid like 20 dislikes. More like 2 - 5 dislikes.
>>
Should pegasi be smoll and extremely buff with corded muscle pushing their fur out as it flexes, or soft and pudgy, their lack of need to do strenuous activity leading to them being slovenly and fat easily?
>>
>>28577401
I'm sure they will have varying body sizes just like any other race.
>>
>>28577401
Best pegasi are smol, soft and tubby.
Little round bundles of joy that need a strong protector, as ponies were meant to be.
>>
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/16YmQuXCybgmn5j5WpuFx89k9yMPkiM5GYQuIrMOFqvg/edit

Would like some opinions on this little foe project I just started a few days ago.

Any words for improvement, change, etc.

pic related is the title pic. Does it look ok, etc.
>>
So, how likely is it for a pegusoos to actually be allowed into a stable?
>>
>>28579053

Depends on the stable.

Do they know what a Pegasus is? Do they have some sort of code of hospitality? Reason to let them in?

Even Vault 3 in F:NV let the fiends in since they traded and did business with the outside, so they didn't think twice in letting in questionable crazed junkies.
>>
>>28578568

Okay I am gonna read this now, and it better not read like the pic looks
>>
>>28578031
I want lanky muscle bound ones with little fat or fluff and are basically winged grey hounds. Their breeding would put them down as interceptors and prime sonicboom candidates for search and retrieval or intercepting nosey g's and giving them their final warning.
>>
>>28579707
Well, how was it? The suspense is killing me.

Ive been waiting so long it isnt even funny.
>>
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Amateur d-drawfag reporting in!
What should I write? O-or write something youselves if you want...
>>
>>28580873
why would you write when you're a drawfag you weirdo
>>
>>28580873
Smol pegasoos trying to get into a stable and be able to nest amongst the swole buff urf ponies inside.
>>
>>28580873
If you can figure out how to fix that pic rotation I would like to know how to do that, otherwise...

DRAW A PUPPYSMILES.
>>
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So apparently they got a mod for Fallout 4...
>>
>>28581247
ECH
>>
>>28581247
>halfassed anthro pone
>not dogmeat replacement companion pone
autism/10
>>
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>>28580888
I meant under the "But considerate the following" in the pic, but nevermind.

>>28581129
New phone problems, hopefully I fixed it aaandd here you go. Messed up a bit the helmet but eh.
>>
>>28581287
>>28581289
Well, the mod *is* called "Crimes against Humanity", so it kinda fits.
>>
>>28578568
"Sigh" still no one has responded. I'm sad and have a slight hysteria that people are stealing my ideas.

Man, this sucks. Not even a single word about it
>>
>>28581313
er, Crimes against Nature, sorry, today's been lousy and I'm not awake.
>>
>>28581345
Did the Tommy Wiseau horse make a comeback?
>>
>>28581384
Sadly, no. But they have ponies, Bouys, Grills, and Cat-in-box heads.

http://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/19040/?
>>
>>28581319
Oh let me nurture this headache then I can get to you tomorrow.
Don't be an ass and demand attention like the Nymph poser.
People will respond, you already have one person going.
>>
>>28581432
okay okay, I'm just getting a bit peeved that no one is responding at all.

I'll cut it out, just at least say something so I don't go crazy.
>>
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>>28581429
This is my first time coming to this thread in I think a couple weeks, and I'm a decade older today, so don't think it's some personal attack or "wall of silence".
>>
>>28578568
>>28581319
Erm, I think you'll want a good editor to give you some advice and pointers.
This could have some potential but there are some moments where I kinda, sighed and kept reading (getting a Pipbuck for free early on from another slave, why didn't the raiders take it from him?, racking up multiple kills in a rampage despite being a slave, parts of the Luna vision)
I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it probably needs some careful consideration and an extra pair of eyes reading over it and giving you better advice than I can.

tl;dr: "Needs work."
>>
>>28581297
That's cute as fuck anon
>>
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Should all locations in fics be based off real world/American locations? It seems like most major fics follow this trend if they don't go for a NV or Stalliongrad ripoff or the like. Which do you prefer, settings that are if only slightly based off real world locations, or ones that are entirely fictional locations?
>>
>>28582430
No, because it limits people to US geography too much, I think writers need to base it, if anything off of the show's map.
>>
>>28581297
Dope.

Draw a Roachpone next.
>>
>>28581247
I don't like those gmod style heads but I can't honestly say that there's nothing redeeming about it.

idk how to feel right now.
>>
Hey anons, on a somewhat relevant topic, how do children in the Wasteland cope with the loss or impending loss of a parent?
>>
>>28582342
>Needs Work

Well, if I cant find a editor to help me. I should just scrap it? How can it be so flawed that it needs work. Can you be more specific to what went wrong?

I put a lot of work into this story, I dont want to have to scrap it.
>>
>>28583085
I'm no author or editor,
but as a reader I notice an angsty feel to the violent scenes.
Which may be justified or not but you gotta be careful not to fall into "edgy" territory.
I think it'd be for the best to wait for others like >>28581432 to weigh in for a second opinion.
>>
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>>28583013

They develop a huge daddy complex and go ona Journey to find their father who left soon after they were born. They develop a habbit for petty crimes and fall in llove with Stallions who act protectiive and controlling.

WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME DADDY
>>
>>28582451
...Which is based on the US map + Canada lmfao.
>>
>>28584560
We need a small (think FO3's "Republic of Dave") Gryphon remnants led by a gryphoness who's obsessed with taking in Saddle Arabian refugees.
>>
>>28583085
Too much purple prose sounding stuff, odd word combos that make it sound like you are trying to put everything into a word rather than several. Use more descriptors instead of single words.

You also alternate between personhood of first and second. You should never be used by the narrator when referring to themselves. Well actually if you had a good fic like Murky redone, I'd use second and 3rd person until Murky finally kills the wretch, disguising just who it is that is telling the story, and making it very clear the slave is dead. Something of the sort of fuck huge progress bar lighting up with sparklers and flames and shit as a surprise and indicator of just what you read. This isn't that sort of fic.
You also do not carry a consistent tense, choose present or past and keep to it.

Bleak is how I would describe the tone of your writing so far. Bleak and defeatist, a fic that is just shades of grey and black.
You spend too much time having the character spiral down and down relative to the fic length, and don't really give much to him snapping. He is all defeated and ready to die, then suddenly flips around and starts being a raider?
Not a good way, drop his fatalism a bit so the raider snap makes more sense as him finally getting his chance at freedom.
That is, have him an enduring character willing to wait and bide time for the one moment he can strike, rather than be a fatalist.
>>
>>28583085
>How can it be so flawed that it needs work.
You need to chill.
Even PH had literal teams of editors.
MN7 has editors.

> I dont want to have to scrap it.
You can call editing "Selective scrapping." It's taking the shittiest parts and getting rid of them, taking the shit parts and redoing them, taking the not so shit parts and cleaning them off, and taking the OK parts and tweaking them to improve little things.

For that, you need someone giving you shit to make you realize your mistakes. There is your editor.

it is NOT completely scrapping the story.
>>
>how did it come down to this?
>A kiss in the wasteland by a zebra?
>My whole life I had thought them the enemy, now I call this one friend and lover.


4 post write prompt, have at it you sundry lot of bumpers, bored people, and posers.
>>
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I'm just gonna drink my coffee-bump
>>
>>28585996
Oh shit it's bump limit, when's new thread?
>>
>>28586138
>>28586138
>>28586138
New Bread, now with a .1% chance of winning the lottery.
>>
>>28586155

New thread.
>>
>>28586145
>>28586171
I AM SO CONFUSED
Thread posts: 505
Thread images: 130


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