RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>Horse wedding edition.

>>28340435
>Horse wedding edition.

>>28340438
>Horse wedding edition

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Horse wedding?

>Mare wants anon to wear a dress for the wedding
>Anon does not want to wear a dress
>Inspiration strikes
>Anon wears a Kilt.
>And very long socks.
>Has to get Rarity to help talk mare into accepting it, since it's got tartan plaid and is colorful instead of white.

>>28340435
>>28340438
>>28340446
>>28340463
>tfw you have really pure kinks
>tfw the phrase "horse wedding" can get you to half mast
>tfw you're praying for your friends to not notice
Goddamn you, Anons.

>>28340481
You know we will still have herds long after your dead right? You wont win.

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>>28340497
>>tfw you have really pure kinks
You my nigga.

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>>28340463
Horse wedding.

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>Anon gets a warning about the color of his bed-sheets.
>Single mares will camouflage themselves in order to pounce on unsuspecting stallions.
>Anon dismisses these ridiculous notions.
>Comes home to find Rarity lying in wait to strike.
>Chases her out of the house with a spray bottle.

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>>28340529
>>Chases her out of the house with a spray bottle.
>not ambushing the ambusher and forcibly snuggling her under the sheets

>>28340497
That's for making us wait for more Second Chance and Sea Shell, mwa-ha-ha! but seriously that's one of my kinks too and new thread makes me uncomfortable (in a good way) too but still waiting for SC or SS tho. Not gonna lose my hope... Not yet...

>>28340529
That's the most adorable thing I've ever heard.

>Anon clearly sees her
>Pretends he cannot and plays along
>Gets to hold a soft, warm body against him
>Gets to rub noses with Rarity
>Gets the knowledge that somebody likes him enough to try and court him
I made myself sad.

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>>28340564
It's okay anon. We all feel the same way.

>>28340611
If this is any of you anons...Just don't rot yourself away :(

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>>28340611

>>28340629
It's hard, Anon.

>>28340611
This is getting closer and closer to being reality.

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>>28340629
TOO LATE

>>28340629
Not possible, Anon. I am consumed by loneliness and wasted opportunities.

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>>28340435
>>28340438
>>28340446
>Anon is the pure and wholesome husbando that every lonely beta mare wants.
>Really, he just keeps the fucked up things he's done to himself rather than blurt them out.

>>28340732
I want a pure virginal Anon having his first time with his marefriend. Imagine how gentle she would be since Anon is a member of the fairer sex.

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>>28340564
>Anon gets handed a manual of all the different ways mares will attempt to catch a stallion.
>Page 1
>Mares will often feign being either hot or cold, trying to gain a close proximity in order to mark them with their scent.
>Stallion should exercise extreme caution when mares act overly friendly for their own safety.

>>28340812
That's fucking cute.

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>>28340812
mare didnt see things happening this way

>>28340836
Mare is afraid she's being too obvious and tries to deny her shenanigans.

>>28340812
>Anon then realizes he's accidentally horsemarried half the town

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>>28340827
>>28340836
>Page 2
>Mares will often act indifferent and huffy in order to light the nurturing response of stallions.
>One must be careful to avoid diffusing the situation with pet's.
>Even though it usually yields a favorable response, mares can become addicted and decide to court them for more physical interactions.
>Pet cautiously.

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>>28340995
>tfw been petting half the towns mare population

>>28340986
aww yiss

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>>28340746
>”A-are you sure Rares?”
>Oh it’s moments like this you live for.
>Your eyes glide over the perfect, trembling specimen before you.
>Gone was his shirt, shoes, and socks, leaving him with only his cut-off pants and a red glow on his face.
>The fading sunlight in your bedroom makes the scene seem like masterful art.
>It’s taken some time to come this far. To overcome all the differences in both body and culture so you could grow closer to this tall, exotic, almost regal, yet so innocent stallion.
>But it’s all been worth it, because you were smitten at first sight.
>You’ve given him all you could. Your time, your thoughts, countless gifts, a shoulder to lean on.
>And he returned each favor with unfaltering love and loyalty. Even going as far to conform to Equestria’s norms for your benefit, even if you’ve insisted he didn’t need to.
>Now you’ve nothing left to give him.
>Except your own body, that is.
>But the prospect seemed to both excite him and cause dread.
>Then it hit you like a train. Your alien tomfilly is a bit more pure than you had thought. It’s like some bad romance novel.
>N-not that you read those, just making a comparison is all…
“Whatever do you mean, love?”
>He wrings his hands together, something you’ve learned to watch for. “Well…”
>A shaky breath exits his kissable lips. “I… I dunno how to say it… I-I’ve never…”
>He trails off, but you know what he means.

1/?

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>>28341116
>The hands disengage, letting one rub the arm of the other in discomfort.
>”...Not even with another human…I don’t want to disappoint you is all...” He says, voice low and filled with doubt.
>You can’t help but blink is surprise. You’re sure that you are the first pony who even made it this far with him, but NEVER?
>That means... You’ll be his first. Ever.
>A smile devoid of any dirty context finds it’s way to your face. You. Rarity. You are going to take this human’s purity.
>He’s offered himself to you at his most vulnerable. Trusts you to not hurt him. Even thinking of you before himself. Not wanting to “disappoint” you, as if he could.
>Your heart swells with emotion that you can’t identify.
>You walk towards him, delicate smile still in place, and nuzzle his exposed torso with a feather light touch.
>The bundle of muscle you rest against tenses to rock, then relaxes.
“Love, you could never disappointment me. Not now, not ever,” you start, voice little higher than whisper. “The short few months I’ve known you have been the best I’ve ever had. Never have I had somepo - someone so thoughtful, loving, and unique as you. Tonight, this is for you.”
>You crane your neck back, looking into his wide, hopeful eyes.
“It was never about me, but you decided it was. That’s what sets you apart from the common colts. And I love you for it.”

2/3

>>28341116
yesss

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>>28341121
>Your heart is beating so loud that it almost drowns out your words, and you can feel his beating almost out of his chest.
>Bracing your forelegs against his belt, you raise up almost to his height and press your forehead to his.
>By Celestia, his eyes have never been so gorgeous.
“Tonight, it’s not about either you or I, it’s about US. Together. You can never disappoint me.”
>Your lips touch his, sending electricity down your spine.
>It was a simple, chaste kiss. Not a raunchy, high school makeout that he liked or a dance of tongues.
>Just a gesture of affection.
>You pull back, remaining connecting to him with a single, glinting strand of saliva.
>His eyes are wide, and face red as a cherry.
>Your eyes closed to a half lid, you let the smile on your face become a bit more naughty.
“Plus, dear, if you’re unsure about anything tonight, we can have plenty of fun learning~.”
>He blinks, then returns your smile with an eager one of his own.
>Dropping down to all fours, you take one of his hands in your magic and gently pull towards the bed.

>>28340746
Most of us are virgins so....half way there?

>>28341132
>The next morning, groggy, satisfied, and sore below the waist, you go out to get the paper and find a noise complaint tacked to your door

4.1/4.1

http://pastebin.com/WfLZh5EW

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>>28341048
>Page 3
>Mares can be very cunning in their attempts to woo stallions.
>Going as far as pretending to be hurt in order to get a stallions attention.
>Mares rely that a stallion has very strong instincts when it comes to helping and caring for injured ponies.
>Be careful.
>The stallion counseling helpline is available 24/7

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>>28341132
>>28341153
that was sweet

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>>28341156

>>28341132
You did good thing. I rather liked it man

>>28341132
I would love to see more like these.....you try please?

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>>28341153

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>>28341207
>Page 4
>Ensure that you lock your doors at night.
>Anti-magic tampering locks are highly recommended and advised.
>Stallion seeking mares are prone into examining the contents of fridges to ascertain the cooking potential of possible mates.
>If you encounter a mare in your kitchen in the middle of the night, DO NOT APPRACH under any circumstances.
>Mares can become agitated and see it as an act of trying to take what they perceive as their food.

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>"Can you believe Prince Anon is getting rid of spears? Just like a colt, wanting to take away our weapons."
>"I know, right? And what's up with these 'goons' he's given us? I mean look at it, it's like a crossbow without a bow! And these bolts- Er, 'boolits' it shoots! What's this going to do against a raging minotaur?"
>"Colt must be a really good lay, it's the only way Celestia would let this horseapples go through."
>"She should've put him in charge of the mess hall, not the entire Equestrian Military! Can you believe we're still getting this garbage chow?"
>"I heard he's bringing in some griffon specialists to design a new kind of meal, something called an 'Emaree'."
>"Fucking colts, mare."
>"Fucking colts."
"Ladies, seriously, I can't work with you two talking right outside my door. Shouldn't you have been relieved hours ago?"

>Chef Anon gets a job on Celestia's staff
>Anytime the Griffon ambassador's visit, they specifically request him
>Because he actually knows how to cook a delicious meat dish, unlike the rest of Celestia's staff.
>Relations between the two nations improve considerably

>Something something RGRE

>>28341530
>"The aroma! The juiciness! What's your secret, fledgling?"
"Oh, we have some truffles in the back, so I just diced some up in there for extra flavor."
>"There's mushrooms in this?!"
>Today you learned that Gryphonian cooking is 100% barbecue with no proper way to control flames

>>28341593
>>28341530
Is this somehow going to devolve into a War of Troy scenario between Gryphonia and Equestria, where Anon is Helen of Troy?

>>28341697
I can work with that...

>>28341854
habbading

>>28341697
Don't forget the Minotaur and diamond dog mercs

>>28341877
>Anon is sent to the moon for safekeeping until all this dies down.

>>28341906
>comes back frozen and very much dead

>>28341697
>>28341854
Rapid barely planned phone posting GO

>You are Gilda of Gryphonia, and you're in way over your head
>Seems Discord decided to prank some of the other Gods
>In the Gryphon pantheons case, he sent a golden apple to 'the fairest'
>Which of course resulted in a argument between the males over whom Discord was referring to
>It eventually came down to three
>And they had all decided that you would have the final vote
>Joy
>Not making it easier was all three openly started bribing you as soon as you were summoned
>Athanisius promised you riches, a bit meh but still, gold is gold
>Hektor guaranteed you victory and conquest, and the power to rule over all you saw
>Tempting, but that kind of power would keep you chained to your own success
>But then there was Aphroditus
>He would provide you with a husbando
>The most desirable, handsome and virile mortal in the lands
>And since you haven't had anything push your button that didnt run on powergems in years...
>There was a small catch, however
>Two of them, in fact
>One, he wasn't going to gift your prize, merely tell you where you could find him
>And two, no magical love spells will be involved
>"That'd be a bit 'rapey' to force him to love. But I'm sure a strong, proud griffin who can say she held sway over the gods is up to the challenge"
>Well, you do like a challenge
>So with a full pack and your head held high, you set out
>"At the home of an old friend"
>"Where burnt bridges you may mend"
>"Admist a coop of feathers and eggs"
>"Will reside a being who walks on two legs"
>The way is clear
>Destination - Ponyville

shukaku20

Any updates to hunter anon incoming soon?

>>28342038
Well I'm interested.

And since I'm interested that means this won't go anywhere past this single post.

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>>28342090
we can always hope right?

Story Prompt:

>Ponies are an idealistic bunch.
>For them, love at first sight isn't just something you feel after the fact: it's a full blown phenomenon.
>When a pony sees their true love for the first time, both are instantly smitten and irreconcilably attracted to one another.
>All it usually takes is one good date, and they know they're destined for one another.

>Then Anon gets thrown into the equation.
>Ponywaifu (Lyra?) sees Anon buying fruit across town and falls in love instantly.
>Proceeds to try and initiate standard herding courtship: public declarations of love, sappy poetry, music etc.
>Basically sappy, cartoonish love stuff.
>Anonymous, being completely flabbergasted as to why a total stranger is now seemingly obsessed with him, tries to get away, distance himself and redirect her attentions elsewhere.
>Ponywaifu doesn't want someone else though.
>She's fallen in love with HIM, and no one could ever imagine that he WOULDNT also be in love with her.
>Even other ponies are acting like they're basically already together.
>She's got the hearts in her eyes. Why wouldn't they be in love?
>As time goes on, displays of love become more ostentatious and desperate.
>Every rejection is another shot at her maresculine pride, potential future herdmates watching on the sidelines.
>Things come to a head when, out of desperation, ponywaifu does her research on human women.
>Acts really, super girly for Anon.
>Not only does she effectively crossdress in front of everypony, but Anon still won't be her qt3.14 husbando.
>Has a mental breakdown.
>Her nightmares get so bad that even the princesses need to get involved.

Story ends either with magical intervention or a pity date that actually turns into somethings more.

>>28342207
Or Yandere. Shit could totally go yandere. Don't think I've seen rgre yandere before.

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>>28342090
I'll definitely make an effort to at least get to the 'they stole our stallion this is war' bit. I'm generally crap at prose writing and work has me busy as fuck
Don't hold your breath, but don't stop believing

>>28342207
sounds like a job for candyass

>>28342207
>ponywaifu does her research on human women.
pray tell how?
what source does she have besides anon?
ancient human records?
would they likely even record female courting behavior, and would it even be applicable to anon's expectations?

>>28342276
she studies mythical legends and stories

the majority of her information is wrong

>>28342295
that's a better reason for failure for it to woo anon, than it being "super girly"

>>28342038
Well?

>>28342326
Shenanigans and war happen
To Anon, they're the same thing
Don't expect a proper update for another 8 hours

>>28340664
Beat me to it.
I'm 40 and the closest thing I have to a waifu is pone.
At least I'm not a wizard... I guess?

What happened to the "ponies are super scared of anon and Tia has yo hide him away for months" story? Thought that was supposed to pick up again. I really liked that idea.
Forgot who was doing it already :(

>>28342437
>ruining your one chance at wizard powers
one job

>>28342492
I think that was Ghouls, story was called "First Impressions" i think

>>28342492
>>28342502
Among the many dead. It'll never update again.

>>28342569
But Ghouls is one of the undead, he shall always return to us.

...Won't he?

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>>28342207
>Anon is aware love at first sight is real for ponies.
>He does the opposite and plays along despite not wanting to.
>Waifu is overjoyed.
>Anon just forces a smile and tries to keep the facade up.
>Weeks, months, years and maybe even the birth of a foal pass before waifu realizes that something is out of place.
>She finally learns that Anon doesn't love her and never did.
>She gets the harsh, reality shattering truth that love at first sight isn't a thing for humans. That sometimes they NEVER fall in love.
>Anon had merely been acting for her sake. Their love was one-sided.
>Equestria has it's first case of major depression is decades.

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>>28342729
pony is not for sads

>>28342729
What a beta.

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>>28342744
not for sads at all

>>28342603
Yes my son.

>>28342492
Sorry Anon, I haven't written anything lately, though I have been thinking about that story a lot. Being on the front lines fighting the boat propeller scourge has been taking a lot out of me recently, but I've been keeping up with the thread as best I can until I can start it up again. I'll also probably be teasing it with some smaller extras that other Anons suggested after I finished the prologue, like the letter writing stuff.

[shameless plugging] In the meantime, have you read my other FI stuff? The story you're talking about (Fear and Fondness) is the prologue to a main story, so if you haven't read that and are starving for more FI, there is a bit more waiting for you. http://pastebin.com/u/tANDghouls [/plugging]

Thanks for checking up on me Anon, I'll have more for you soon.

>>28341153
>>28341132
Wtf I love Rarity now

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>>28342996
I want to spank the flank

>>28343017
The Dark Sisterhood sends anon a Mare with a hand print as an invitation.
Surely those hans of his can perform unspeakable acts of non-consensual cuddling.

>>28341132
This will never, ever be any of us. Best we can hope for is a cheap prostitute that might not laugh at us before we die. Oh well, eating pizza.

>>28342767
My mare, of course what is dead cannot be killed. I'm having trouble writing, too. I can't think of jack shit to further any of my stories. I'm here in the thread just so I can find any inspiration to write horsewords.

>>28341480
Kek. Mares talking shit about their superior officer hoping to get "disciplined".

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>>28341480
>>28343173
RGRE Anon drill sergeant scene when?

>>28340812
>>28340995
>>28341156
>>28341305
We need a news paper or a magazine to interview this town with the spread 'Biggest herd in equestria is also biggest single male herd'

>>28342242
In comes moon cheeks and she deals with the nightmares, outsources the day job to shipit who is just getting over the divorce... a colt and thier jewlery, well... the ponies she looked over were basically living jewelry. They decide to bring in two of anons best friends, twiggles and sunbutt to try and help steer anon to the right ponie.

shit happens

>Be lyra
>Have no idea how you feel ass backwards into a royal reverse harem
>Be well aware how you ended up muzzle deep in celestia, getting your horn sucked, eaten out, AND stuffed all at once.
>You almost pity twilight that she has to deal with running the country during the day while you all have fun, but she never liked "afternoon delight"
>At least not when there was work to do.

>>28342745
free pussy, roommate who isn't shit, potential friend.

way i see it, ponies aren't shitty, he may fall in love, but even if he doesn't love her the same way, he can still care for her.

>>28342729
>>28342744
>>28342762
>>28343398

> Be Pinkie Pie, not the young filly you once were
> Love does a lot of things to a mare, makes you settle down a little
> Parties only once a month, playing games with just your hubba hubby
> And he is the sweetest, most patient stallion a mare could ask for
> The house you share is so clean, the food is delicious, the cuddles are amazing
> You couldn't be happier
> You remember when you first gasped in Anon's face
> It was like, the single most exciting thing in your entire life
> When you saw him, his mischief, his strength, his coltish whimsy
> Anonie Pie was made for you, you know it
> But sometimes, you felt a little odd
> Like the only person at a party for two
> You didn't realize what it was until Maud married that minotaur miner
> The way her held her, the kisses they shared
> It was different
> Not in a "when Zecora first showed up" different
> But...
> As you climb the stairs of Sugarcube Corner, your heart feels heavy, like it ate too much pie
> You didn't think that was possible, until the Cakes hoofed over management of the shop to you, and you tried to see just how many pies you could eat in one sitting
> The answer is 613
> You shake your head, feeling your curls loosen and straighten out
> Enough distractions
> You open the master bedroom door, to find your beloved Anonie
> He's smiling, sitting on the bed, reading the new cookbook you got him on his birthday

>>28343675
> You want to ask him, but that precious smile makes you hesitate
"Find something good, Anonie?"
> He slips a bookmark into the book and closes it
> When he sees you, you can see his smile change a little, and the concern in his eyes
> "Come here, Ponka, tell me what's wrong."
> He opens his arms to you, and you can't resist
> You gallop over and hop into his lap, nuzzling his chest
> It feels so right, his arms are wrapped around you, full of a stallion's special warmth
> You sigh, and try to hold back the tears
> You have to be a mare about this
> With a great effort, you pull back from his chest, his arms loosening around you
> He looks you full in the eyes, and you feel it just as strong as the first time
> Anonie strokes your mane just right, frowning in concern now
> "Pinkie Pie, dear, please. Tell me what's wrong."
> You sniffle
"Y-you know, Maud and Rock Out sang a song together, that day."
> Anonymous strokes your mane some more
> "Was this... what, when they first met?"
> You nod
"And I was super excited, I mean not as excited as when I met you, but how could I ever be as excited as when I met you?"
> He smiles at that, and nuzzles your cheek
> How can one colt be so perfect?
> You close your eyes, trying to keep the wobbly wibblies out of your voice
"But, I think..."
> He pulls back, giving you his undivided attention
"You weren't as excited. I thought you just were excited in your super special human way, but you didn't sing. You hummed along."
> Anonie sighs
> "I think I know what you are trying to say."
> You have to mare up
> No more gagging on lollies
"Anonie Mouse Pie, do you love me?"
> "Pinkie, I had seen it happen before, and I talked to Twilight. I think it's amazing how ponies can recognize everything about each other, and find their special someone in a single glance."
> You tremble, realization dawning on just why...
"But you can't. Or didn't. I loved you at first sight, and you just... went along with it."

>>28343681
> "I did. I didn't really understand everything, but you were and are a fun, cute mare, and I decided to trust in the magic of love."
> His arms tighten around you as the tears fall from your eyes
> He never loved you
> You lean against his chest, guilty at taking away so many years of his life when he could have been looking for-
> "Pinkie, listen to me. We've been through good times and bad, we helped raise the cake twins into fine upstanding ponies, we've improved the Sugarcube Corner a lot, and played games for years. I have been to so many of your parties, and listened to all your fears, hopes, dreams, and desires. And you have done the same for me, helping me find my place is this new world."
> You hear something in his voice that makes you look up at him
> His eyes are full of the happy tears, the kind that make your heart want to burst with love
> "To answer your question, Pinkamena Diane Pie, I love you. I have loved you for years, and I will keep on loving you forever."
> You gasp, so excited!
> You look into his eyes, and you still see it
> More importantly, he sees it in you
> Your mane inflates to full joy capacity and you burst forward, nuzzling his neck, getting your scent all over him again
> He laughs, his beautiful laugh
> He squeezes you so tight, rocking your back and forth
> You give him a quick, shy kiss on the cheek, just like the first time
> But this time, he turns his head, and kisses you right on the lips, passionately, lovingly, and with just the right amount of stallionish whimsy
> Oooohh and tongue
> When he finally breaks the kiss, both of you are breathing heavily, joyfully
> You have to say it, as a mare, as his wife, as his Ponana Banana Cream Pie
"And I love you, Anonie, from when we first met, now, and fore~ver!"
> And then both of you began to sing


The end.
http://pastebin.com/fCDqG9AE

>>28343687
While I was writing, I was reminded of this song:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6A2MBneb7lc

>>28343687
I came here to laugh.
Not to feels.

>>28343687
Fuck, man. That was great.

pencil-rgre-anon, where is the writeherd art?

>>28342074
I'm trying. I'm not sure why, but I haven't been able to write much of anything for the last little while.

Divorced Anon in Equestria
>Ponies have no concept of divorce
>Once you're married, you're married for life
>If you have relationship problems, you work through them, or have Cadence zap some love into you
>When Anon mentions he'd divorced, they're confused
>How can someone stop loving their wife?
>Eventually, they bring in Cadence, who zaps Anon with her strongest love beam
>Anon is consumed with burning, eternal love for the woman who left him, and whom he can never see again
>When Twilight fails to send him back home, he hangs himself in the woods
>"Poor Anon... He just wanted to make a swing for himself and his wife..."

>>28342038
>It's not anon.
>It's a chicken.

>>28341153
Yes, wonderful! Lots of feels with Best Pone.
Sempai used my idea!

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>>28343796
A chicken? Don't be fucking retarded.

>>28341930
>"To be perfectly fair, I've sent pony to the moon before for literally a thousand years, and they came back just fine.

>>28343792
It's okay.....I will wait for you.

>>28343041
>Anon cuddles a pony in public, unaware of the implications behind unsolicited cuddles
>He gets a note with a picture of a slapped mare ass with the words "WE KNOW" below it
>Anon half-worries that this is the RGRE mare version of texting dick pics

>>28343675
>> Anonie Pie
>Anon takes the mare's name in marriage
HNNNGG

>>28343687
Loved it.

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>>28343687

>>28343687
Best end.

>>28343675
>soulmates
>love at first sight being an actual thing
Oh god please someone, more.

>>28343795
>Pony's don't understand the concept of suicide.
>When they find anom dead they don't understand.
>All except the royal sister's of course.
>Being alive for over 1000 year's they know alot.
>When twilight tell's them about anon's death, and how he "Tried to make a swing for him and his wife." They understand.
>They don't tell anyone because they don't want Cadence and the mane 6 to feel like it's their fault.

>Be Cadence.
>You and Shining Armor showed up to poor Anon's funeral.
>All the royals showed up it being not only the death of a single pony, but the death of a one of a kind sentient creature of equestria.
>Now deeming the human extinct.
>A truly grim day indeed.
>You heard about how anon died to.
>It is sad, a colt just trying to make a swing for his beloved.
>And you had just hit him with the strongest love spell you knew so he would love her again.
>At first you accepted his death as it was, but when you saw celestia and luna crying saying they're sorry this happened, you became confused.
>Why would they be sorry?
>It was a simple accident.
>Anon tried to make a swing for him and his beloved and messed up.
>Wait, Anon said he was married and had a divorce.
>There were no divorces in equestria.
>That could only mean...
>It finally dawns on you.
>Anonymous would never see his beloved wife again.
>The same one you hit Anon with a super strong spell so he could love her again.
>It... It wasn't a accident was it?
>Because you made Anon love the wife he'd never see again, he killed himself.
>No!
>Y-You killed him!
>You just killed the only human in equestria because you didn't think before you did something.
>Have you done this before?
>All those stallion's and mare's you hit with your love beam. Did any of them kill themselves?!

>Cadance never hit another living thing with love magic after this for a whole year.
>It took Celestia and Luna figuring out what was wrong to fix it.
(Cont)

>>28344141

But that's not what happened here.

Pinkie was the one who fell in love with Anon at first sight. He didn't originally reciprocate, but grew to love her over the course of their relationship.

At least that's the impression I get.

>>28344177

I'm glad Cadance learned a lesson from this.

Sometimes it's better to just let a relationship die naturally rather than try to force it to keep going with love magic.

>>28344177
>They told her that no pony Minotaur or Griffin had killed them selfs because of her.
>Year's later another human appears in equestria.
>It was a female.
>Not just any female Anons ex wife.
>Cadence is informed of this and shows up to inform her of anons demise
"I am sorry to say but, anonymous was here but he... he killed himself. "
>"HA, knew that loser would end it! After you get dropped by this you mind's well because you'll never find something as good!"
>Cadence quickly realizes why anon didn't love her anymore.
>She also has "Anon-a-bitch" *Not her real name, just what Cadence call's her.* imprisoned for threat to all love and harmony.
>End?

>>28344194
You're right, that's what went down. It's what happened on her part. I just think it's a really cute concept.

>>28344202
I planned on doing that but these are pony's. They NEED magic sometimes. The lesson learned is think shit through before you shoot a laser at it. Exempt deathclaws if you see that you light it up like Christmas.

>>28344236
>Anon's ex-wife finds it mysteriously difficult to find work
>Nopony seems to like her
>The one time she hits at a stallion for slapping a mare she gets the shit kicked out of her

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>>28343687
I wish I had the Honorary Nigga pic so I could post it right now

>>28344236
Sad part is this is the norm for women in the world now.

>>28344294
I want to disagree on principle, but I just finished reading an article about how a woman accused a taxi driver of rape to get out of paying the fare and the poor guy just BARELY avoided prison time because his phone recorded the entire thing.

>>28344307
>>28344294

It mainly seems to be younger women who do that shit in my experience.

>>28344317
MILFs confirmed superior woman.

>Anon's been screwed over before
>Finds older women more honest and down-to-earth
>Forms a herd consisting of Harshwhinny and Stormy Flare

>>28344317
>>28344294
One of my friends got accused of rape but luckily enough he had been streaming the entire day the supposed rape happened. The bitch got 2 years for falsely accusing him.

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>>28344360
I'd read this but add velvet sparkle!

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>>28344360
Yuss.

>>28344360
Not taking the Mayor and her assistant too.
Pleb

>>28344364
Nice.

>>28344294
>>28344307
>>28344317
>>28344364
>Stories all across Equestria about false rape accusations and stallions getting every single bit they can out of a divorce
>Stallionist movement jeers at mares and celebrate awful behaviour that they justify because "all of the oppressed hate their oppressors"
>Mares are dating and herding less and less in the last decade, not finding it worth the risk
>Courts heavily favour stallions to the point where it takes very little effort to destroy a mare's life
>Nobody out-right disliked and distrusted stallions until 3rd-wave stallionism popped up
>Stallions created the misandry they screech about

>>28344370
>Harshwhinny
>Stormy Flare
>Velvet Sparkle
>Mayor Mare
>Mayor Mare's assistant
Perfect herd 10/10

>>28344360
Fuck ya! Have a hot ass mare that knows what she wants when she wants it!

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You are from Russia?

>>28343228
I'ma need source on that, google reverse search does nothing NOTHING!

Show me your war face!

>>28344387
>Anon appears!
>A non whinny stallion who wants to fuck and do marely stuff.
>He herd's with almost all of ponyville including the mane 6, all the royals and gilda.
>Stallionist claim he raped them.
>Anon is found not guilty.
>Then he goes and rapes the stallionist for tying that shit.

>>28344432
>He herd's with almost all of ponyville
well that's a bit of a tight schedual
how does he fit in them all in?
I would think there would be some performance anxiety if not burnout, thats a lot of fucking mares to please
Maybe shipit or twiggles gave him some mojo enhancements

>>28344483
>>28344432
>Anon can make a mare cum in 6 seconds.
>Exempt the royal sisters...
>But they're on double royal Tuesday
>There is unicorn thursday Twilight and cadence included.
>Wonderbolt wensday, Rainbow dash and gilda included
>Pegasus Friday.
>Earth pony Saturday.
>And sun sister sunday
>And moonlight monday.
>The sisters get more because they can take it the others can't.

>>28340407
>the national symbol of russia
DAAAAAAAAA! Me like you guy.
Для cлaвы Poccии!

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>>28344531
>Sometimes a mare thinks she can take more and brings it up.
>Anon Celestia and Luna deal with this by including them in royal Tuesday.
>The mare doesn't know is Celestia, and Luna are kinky and wont hesitate to make a mare eat them out while anon rail's them.
>Most of the time it ends with Red Heart pulling a mare with in a 2 week coma with a goofy smile and covered in cum out on a stretcher.
>Red Heart wanted to try it once and she lasted the longest.
>Only put in a day coma too.
>And the worries of low birth rate's were fixed when lyra was found to be pregnant with a healthy baby unicorn colt.
>Twilight had learned a spell to make it possible.
>The colt grew up to be marely and got a herd of three pony's of his own.
>A orange Pegasus, a white unicorn, and yellow earth pony.

Ok i need some feedback do you want me to continue anons or no? If not ok, if yes ill continue when i wake up.

>>28344632
KEEP GOING, BREED THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!

>>28344632
Sleep first. I can't understand anything with that grammar.

>>28344649
>>28344655
both of these please. we are patient, like a Rara before the lay.

>>28344632
The set up is a little /polk9/ for my tastes, and the outcome is pretty blandly "Anon fugs everything".
I'd say nah

>>28344632
>And the worries of low birth rate's were fixed when lyra was found to be pregnant with a healthy baby unicorn colt.
>The colt grew up to be marely
It does take a village

NOF, you think your ever going to finish your All for you story?

>>28344769
http://pastebin.com/MJWSHChL

>>28344531
>>double royal Tuesday
>Also known as "Double-Fuck Tuesdays"

>>28344778
The golden days are behind us.

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>>28344778
hello darkness my old friend.

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>>28344778
WHY

>>28344816
>>28344964
>>28345045
Stop overreacting you niggers. When one writefag dies another will take its place.

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>>28344632
I wish I could help fix their low birth rates.

>>28345062
Uh..
Hail Herdra?

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>>28345094
Equestria's medical services will aid you in your noble quest.

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>>28345062
Nigger I don't think you understand.

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>>28345118
I'm imagining pregnant nurses running around assisting pregnant patients and helping deliver foals and it's adorable.

>>28345098
The beast of a thousand dickings, a thousand children, and when the world ends the stars will say....he was a good fuck.

>>28345165
>the endless hoards of Herdra Vs the Amazing Propeller-man!

>>28345190
>get ready for Propeller slinging action!
>Stand Lease's cameo!
>Double-horsepuns!

>>28345165
“The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young”

>>28345190
>With great Propeller comes great Revolutions

>>28345309
>SPIN TO WIN MOTHERFUCKERS!

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>>28343787
Trying to do it in a free time like all others pics. But it's big, and I kinda find designs from anon with ponymaker(?) much better and funnier (that's why I did that old meme pic with his ApA mare design) and waiting for more pons from him now to be honest...

>>28344569
Ooooouch. Don't use google translate, it generates cringe stuff even in small sentences. But you tried

>>28344367
Nah, married rgre mares are loving their pure and faithful stallions too much to betray them like that even for you, Anon

>>28345328
>Married rgre mares are faithful to their stallions.
Good to know.

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>>28345328
I'd never imply cheating. AU or something.

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>>28345328
This is why loyalty is best waifu.

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Commitment makes me DIAMONDS

>>28345318
>Today on "SuperwriteFriends"!
>the mares try to figure out how to one and for all defeat the Amazing Propeller-man, deep within their impenetrable fortress "Writers Block"

>"Freeze him in a solid block of ice!"
>"Alcohol Poisoning!"
>"Make him wear sunglasses at night!"
>"An insidious butt based trap!"
>"Put him in a Kilt!"
>"Lift him up and put him back down!"

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>>28345386
Me too.

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>>28345389
>>"Lift him up and put him back down!"

that'd probably work.

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>>28345139
>Anon is the hospitals resident impregnation specialist.
>Mares come from all over Equestria in order to get knocked up.
>He's more than happy to help

Idea Prompt:

>Anon and Femanon appear around the same time.
>The ponies try to hook them up.
>Despite that they want Anon all to themselves.
>They see Anon and Femanon arguing.
>She becomes ostracized.
>"How could she do that to a poor colt?"
>She's run out of town.
>Ponies breathe a sigh of relief, now their husbando will be safe.
>They're actually siblings.
>Anon is pissed as fuck that his seven year old sister is out alone in the woods.
>And no one will help him find her.
>Drama ensues.

>>28345568
ew

>>28345493
due to his size the ponies assume that he is the human male equivalent of an alicorn

>>28344778
>http://pastebin.com/MJWSHChL
Well that's just fucking painful.

>>28345493
>Anon vecomes so worried he hires a local hunter to help him save his Sister.
>Said hunter awkwardly flirts with him the entire time.
>Said hunter is Fluttershy.

>>28345837
Continuing the theme that Anon is still just a child (is he?)

>"So, c-cutie, c-come here often?"
"No, I'm just this once so that I can find my sister."
>"W-would you like to?"
"Like to what?"
>"Uh... come here? M-more often?"
"Come and what? Play?"
>"Y-yeah, that's right. I could sh-show you how to play doctor..."

>>28345352
>>28345328

>In ages past the bodyguards part of the Royal Guard also served as the Royal Harem
>It's no longer mandatory
>for one, half of them are mares now
>But Celestia and Luna still invite willing guardstallions to their beds

>Cadence is faithful to Shining
>The Guards of the Crystal Empire have their own unique tradition now.
>All of them are married couples (and maybe a few small herds)

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>>28346348
>>The Guards of the Crystal Empire have their own unique tradition now.
>>All of them are married couples (and maybe a few small herds)
thats kinda cute

>>28346160
>is he?

Nah, the idea was for Anon to be in his early twenties. He could be like 17 or 18 though if people prefer that.

>>28346348
>The Crystal Empire has 1000-year-old gender roles
>In other words, male-dominance
>Cadence is both horrified and aroused to find that her loyal guards have become homosexuals

>>28346455
>inb4 anti-gay Anons start fear mongering

>>28346455
>>Cadence is both horrified and aroused to find that her loyal guards have become homosexuals
i dont get it
why are they suddenly fags
or is it just because theyre acting like mares

>>28346480
I think Candyass just misunderstanding.

>>28346455
>The Crystal Empire has 1000-year-old gender roles
>In other words, male-dominance

I wish we had more stories with normal gender roles Crystal Empire in contrast to the rest of Equestria.

I''d love a story where royal guard mares try to bring the Crystal Empire's military up to modern standards, only to be surprised at the sheer brutality the stallions are capable.

You don't survive under Sombra's rule by being soft.

>>28343687
No I'm not crying it's just raining here...

You fucking asshole

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>>28346597

>>28346626
Why can't I hug ponies? Why can't I exist in a land of reversed gender roles where ponies want to hug me? WHY AREN'T I HUGGING A PONY RIGHT NOW

>>28346693
Because this is hell, and none of us can have nice things or people.

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>>28346693

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>>28346718
>or people.

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"It's called a diet, Soarin'. You can have all the pie you want in the off-season. But for now, you need to get in shape! Mares don't pay to see some fat flanks lumbering through the sky!"
>"Y-yes, Captain Spitfire. Sorry, Captain Spitfire."
"Good to see I'm understood. Meet me in my office later for some 'private lessons'. Dismissed."
>"Oh, Soarin', you're so pathetic. You should've married Flitter and been a househusband, like dad wanted. But no, you had to be ambitious, and now... Now you're just damaged goods..."
>"W-well, better get exercising. The mares don't want to see any f-fat flanks, after all. I miss eating more than one meal a day..."

>>28346720
Aww, that sure is a nice pi-
>"Wake up."
You're a bad man, Anon.

>>28344667
Ya, i know i wasn't really planning on a long story. I can TRY to go back and rewrite with a full story but i don't know how good it will be. Ive never made a full green story.

>>28344655
Ya sorry, mind pointing out all the mess ups?
>>28344649
YES! We will!
>>28344791
Yep, exactly.

>>28347024
You can't leave poor stallion in this state. You need to finish that story and give Spitfire some well deserved karma.

idea:
>there is to be a tournament in the crystal empire
>knights from all over the world arrive to compete for glory and fame
>anon decides to compete for shits and giggles
> is not allowed because he is a male and could get hurt
>wears armor that covers his face and most of his body, uses the name femanon and doesnt speak so that he isnt discovered
>somehow they buy it and let "fem" compete
>he either gets discovered latter after several fights or wins or something happens to make it interesting
any good or should i kill myself?
>the fights might be either bloody like a real fight with real weapons or simple pony combat with blankets and pillows

>>28347024

>Soarin and all male Wonderbolts are the RGRE equivalent of exploited Japanese idols.
>He's probably not allowed to have a fillyfriend to keep the permavirgin NEET mares who fantasize about him to pay for merchandise.
>absolutely zero time to himself
>Probably gets forced into lewd swimsuit photo shoots to make money for the team
>Plus Spiftire molests him constantly

HE DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS

>>28347121
Do blankets and pillows. We don't kill the pone here.

>>28347121
I like the concept and am ready for either style of gladiator.

>>28347157
Shit like this is why I hate japan. And idol companies in general too, and fox news now that I think about it.

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>>28347024
>>28347087
>Weeks later, at the beginning of show season, Spitfire is called into her superior's office
>"Captain, do you know why I've called you here? Mares don't come to watch fat slobs fly, stallions won't buy a poster with a mare whose ass is wider than her withers. Consider yourself grounded this season, and learn some self-control. In the meantime, Soarin' will take your place as head of the team."
"W-what?! That loser?! But I can still fit into my flightsuit! Watch!"
>*sshhhriiipp*
>"You're lucky I don't demote you for talking back. Now get out of my office and into the gym, fatty."

>"Hey Soarin, it's safe to come out now."
"Anon! That was great! You really gave her what-for! It's strange though, I never thought she'd let herself get that big."
>Anon sets an empty jar of creatine down on his desk
>"All she needed was a little help."
"I love you, Anon! Let's get married and have gay babies!"
>"Sounds good to me, Soar."

>>28345389
>>"Freeze him in a solid block of ice!"
Frosty?
>>"Alcohol Poisoning!"
durnk?
>"Make him wear sunglasses at night!"
CoolKids?
>"An insidious butt based trap!"
Analplug?
>"Put him in a Kilt!"
??
>"Lift him up and put him back down!"
?????????????????

>>28347159
>>28347162
it was more an idea that i wanted to trow out there for anyone to grab, i dont know the first thing about writing nor have i ever tried it

>>28347188
I think the last one in LaP

>>28347159
Why not just training weapons? Wooden swords/spears with rounded/blunt edges, that kind of thing.

Sometimes the marshmallow fighting stuff is a little too absurd.

>>28347193
Neither have i but I'm gonna try
>>28347073
Should I name fag if I'm writing a green?

>>28347214
Ya, i could see that but still no one wants to see a pony with ptsd or having its guts cut out.

>>28347214
This works, griffons use actual weapons to compete not pones, they just hit each other real hard with wood larp weapons so the weeb horses actually compete. Lets Anon find the pudgiest mares to cuddle. Twilight naturally wins this.

>>28347185
Good enough end for me.

>>28347188
This guy is right>>28347210
fucked if I know who the kilt is though.

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>Be Twilight
>It was late outside
>All good fillies and colts were sound asleep in their beds, dreaming of candy and lollipops and hoof-holding
>You were lying in your bed, as snug as a bug in a rug, dreaming that you had found the lost library of Labyrinthian
>Yeah...
>Sitting there, reading all of that long, lost knowledge...
>All of those manuscripts...
>All of those lost languages...
>Buck yeah...
>But all was not well in your dreamland
>Even as you read long forgotten histories, pondered over mathematical equations that seemed fourth dimensional, and peeked at two thousand year old smutty books that you ONLY read for the story you felt like something was... missing
>Like a part of you was missing...
>It was a bad, cold, lonely feeling that didn't sit all too well in your stomach
>Badfeelsfilly.jpg
>Because of this you found that you couldn't enjoy your dream
>In fact, because of this feeling, you eventually found yourself waking up, pawing at the empty, still warm space beside you
"A... An-mous?" you grumbled, your eyes slowly opening. "Non... warz you?"
>Though it was pitch black in your bedroom, you could see that your coltfriend was nowhere to be seen
>You were alone in your bed
>NAKED
>Blinking owlishly, you looked over at your bathroom, your ears slowly perking up
>...
>You couldn't hear anything...
"Anon?" you grumbled, rubbing an eye as you sat up a bit. "Honey? Where are you?"
>Again, nothing
>Your bedroom, and the area around it, was completely silent and still
>Looking over at your clock you saw that it was two in the morning
>Nowhere near a reasonable time for ponies to wake up...
>Your still half-asleep mind meandered

>>28347188
>>28347249
>Kilt
I think that might be SSTH

>Anon is taken seriously by the Equestrian Secret Service as a potential threat

>He eats meat, and is rumored to have gone hunting deep in the Everfree, alone, on several occasions.
>He's big, and strong, and faster and with more stamina than a creature like him has any right to have.
>A filly got lost in the woods, he was able to track her faster than anyone else.
>Twilight has been investigating the extent of his magic resistance. He *is* affected by magic, but to a lesser degree than a pony.

>His natural abilities, instincts, and skills make him dangerous.
>His being male makes it even worse, since everyone underestimates him.

>Instead of trying to eliminate him, they recruited him.

>Bon Bon is his handler
>He flirts with her constantly, while she denies any interest in him romantically.
>They fight crime, and do spy stuff

>>28347364
Oh hey, Dad brought more green

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>>28347364
>Where the hay was your coltfriend?
>Why did he get up this early?
>Was everything alright?
>Was...
>Was it his time of the month?
>Did human stallions even have a time of the month?
>Yawning, you climbed out of your bed and began the long, arduous journey to your bedroom door
"Anon," you mumbled, too tired to push away the hair in your face. "Anon... where's my snuggles..."
>... Kitchen
>He was probably in the kitchen getting some water or something...
>Quickly making your way out into the hall, you made your way toward the Castle of Doom's kitchen, your hooves dragging and your wings half opened
"Can't sleep 'lone... Cuddles... Juice boxes... Applesauce..."
>You didn't hear a single sound as you made your way through the castle halls
>All was silent, all was still
>Spike and Starlight were most likely sound asleep, tucked in their beds all warm and snug...
CRASH!
>You jumped as something shattered off in the distance
>WHATTHEBUCKWASTHAT?!
>ITSOUNDEDLIKEITWASCOMINGFROMTHEKITCHEN!
>You stopped, your eyes wide and your ears perked up
>Crouching low to the ground, you listened carefully
>Was that a burglar?!
>Was there a burglar in your house?!
>If so then what the HECK were they doing here?
>The only thing that you had of value was books, and nopony ever bothered with those in this illiterate, earth pony town!
>...
>Wow...
>You sure do get racist when you're tired...
>...
>Not that you're ALL that wrong...
>Minutes tick by as you listen for anything else out of the ordinary

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>>28347386
>You were just about to stand back up when another sound made its way to your ears
>A whimper
>The whimper of a stallion
>Your stallion
"ANON!"
>Without a second thought you dashed down the hall as fast as your hooves could take you
>That whimper came from the kitchen
>Anon was crying in the kitchen
>You needed to see why he was crying
>You needed to make help him, make him feel better, stop those tears
>You--
>Rushing into the kitchen, you saw a very particular sight
>Anon was sitting in the corner of the room, hugging his knees to his chest
>The big green human was shirtless and all around him were two dozen empty gallon jugs of protein powder
>Anon's face, and most of his chest, was caked in the stuff
>Upon closer inspection, you could see tears streaming down his face, mixing with the protein powder to make this messy brown paste
>...
>Wat
"Wat?"
>For a moment, you couldn't help but feel relieved
>There were no burglars in the house; nopony was trying to steal any of your books or your stallion or whatever else burglars took, and Anonymous, as far as you could tell, looked alright
>But far too soon that relief turned into confusion
>What the hay was Anon doing?
>What was with all of those empty jugs?
>He didn't drink all of that did he?
>What was he crying for?
>Why the hay did you have to deal with stuff like this at two in the bucking morning?
>Anon sniffled, which caused the muscles in his chest, neck, and arms to ripple in the artificial light of the room
>Seeing this your confusion turned into concern

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>>28347410
"Anon?" you said, taking a step toward him. "Anon, is everything alright?"
>Anon jumped a little bit at the sound of your voice
>He looked up at you as he sniffled again, his eyes puffy and bloodshot and snot running down his nose
>"T-Twi?" he whimpered as he did his best to clean his face with one of his massive hands
>Hurrying over to him you extended a wing, wrapping it around his shoulder as best as you could
"What's wrong honey?" you asked as gently as you could, grabbing one of his hands and holding it in between your hooves. "What are you doing out of bed? Why are you crying?"
>A tremble ran through your coltfriend
>His lip quivered, and you could see fresh tears forming out of the corners of his eyes
>It tore you up inside to see him like this
>To see him look so broken and sad and alone
>So you did the only thing that you could think of
>You wrapped your hooves around your neck and pulled his face into your chest
>Immediately, Anonymous wrapped those long, thick arms of his around you
>For most ponies his grip would have been uncomfortable, painful even, but you were an alicorn
>Your body was a little more heavy-duty compared to most ponies
>It had to be, with a stallion like this
"It's alright hon," you whispered, nuzzling the top of his head as a sob racked his body. "It's alright... it's alright."
>You don't know how long you sat there with Anon, holding him and nuzzling him and giving him all of the love-laced kisses that you could, but eventually his sobs once again turned into sniffles, which then turned into shaky breaths
>There was a thin sheen of sweat covering your body
>You could feel Anon's tears and snot and Celestia' knows what else running down your chest and wither
>Anon himself was sweaty and he smelled like old protein powder and shame
>But that was alright
>His crying had stopped
>You had done it
>You had made your stallion feel better
>You made him feel loved
>Goodfeelsfilly.jpg

>>28347188
>"Lift him up and put him back down!"
Why can't I hold all these feels? What are you doing to me.

>>28347424
>SQUIRT SQUIRT SQUIRT

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>>28347424
>You held him for a little longer, rocking him back and forth as you hummed the same tune that your dad had hummed whenever your brother had come to him crying when the two of you were little
>After a few more minutes of this you gently lifted Anon's head up so that he was looking up at you
"Anon, honey, what happened?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper
>For a few long moments Anon said nothing
>At one point you were sure that he'd start crying again but, after taking a few deep breaths, he opened his mouth to speak
>"I-I can s-still fit through the d-doors."
>...
>Your eyes narrowed slightly as your snozzle scrunched up
>You opened your mouth before immediately closing it
>...
>That...
>What...
>Tapping your hoof against your chin, you opened your mouth and tried again
"...You can... still fit through the doors?"
>Anon must not have heard the disbelief in your voice, because he nodded, sniffling, and continued
>"I-I've been trying m-my hardest," he said, sounding as heartbroken as you've ever heard him. "I've b-been working o-out as hard as I c-can and I've b-been eating r-right."
>He sniffled, blinking away tears as you just... stared at him
>Just stared
"...Anon, most of the doors in the castle are--"
>"Tiny, I k-know," Anon wailed, pulling you into a hug. "I'm sorry, Twi. I've tried e-everything. I've tried as hard as I could, I... I-I..."
>Biting his lip, Anon once again buried his face into your chest and began sobbing
>As he did this you sighed, looking around at the mess all around you
>Your nostrils flared, and you smelled a very particular scent
>... You think you know what that glass breaking sound was from
"Anon... did you mix protein powder with tequila again?" you asked, your voice quiet
>"IT'S SO TASTY!" your coltfriend whined, a very noticeable slur in his voice now that you were listening, before bursting into tears
>...
>...
>...
"There, there," you murmured, patting the top of his head. "It's alright, it's alright."

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>>28347455
>"NO IT'S NOT! I'M A FREAK! A TINY, DYEL FREAK!"
"...No you're not, hon."
>"I CAN STILL FIT THROUGH DOORS, TWI! W-WHAT KIND OF M-MAN CAN STILL FIT T-THROUGH DOORS?!"
"I... I love you just the way you are, Anonymous."
>"DON'T LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>...
>Your coltfriend is weird...

>>28347461
I was going to do a first person Rarara heat thing but then I decided to write the realest thing that I've ever written. I hoped that you people enjoyed it

OH MY GOSH ITS LAP

>>28347455
>>28347461
>This somehow turns into a flank competition.
>"Oh that wacky LaP!"

>>28347368
Yip, Short Skirts & Thigh Highs sis

>>28347468
LaP Senpai! Y-Your the reason I found out about RGRE I-I'm very grateful!

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>Promised myself after getting a job and being gone for a month plus I would continue /pol/arity after I catch up with the threads.
>MFW I am always 4 threads behind due to work and posting speed.

The propeller propels me to be perpetually peeved.

>>28347468
Do both

Who would be the most doting lover: Rarity or Fluttershy?

>>28347658
Posting this made me realize that was putting serious thought into which not-real fictional character from a cartoon would be a good romantic partner. What am I doing with my life?

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>>28347658
Rarity. She's probably had failed relationships before and knows the sting of being dumped. It would be subtle, but she would go out of her way to make her stallion happy and not force anything on them. A mate as agreeable and easy to please as a man would probably be heaven on earth to her.

Fluttershy is just awkward and would be more of a doormat than anything. Sure, she's kind and would gladly do anything asked of her, but that's just it. You would need to ask. There's no real thought behind her actions, just a reaction. The only time she would take action without deferring to someone else is during an active crisis or if she thinks the specific thing she's doing is expected of her without question.

Not shit-talking Flutters, but that's how I see it. I personally would be happy with either.

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>>28347658
Fluttershy. It's in her nature to fawn over and protect those she cares for.

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>>28347823
>Fluttershy is just awkward and would be more of a doormat than anything.
have you even been watching the show you filthy fan of the fandom

>>28347849
No :^)

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>This was one of the oddest things that you’ve ever seen in your life.
>Not counting that day you saw Celestia get stuck in the doggy door in the castle. Silly horse, you’re too big to fit through there.
>But at the moment, your girlfr.. er marefriend was behaving strangely.
>Stranger than usual anyway.
>The love of your life, who happened to be a three-foot tall marshmellow pony was acting like a cat and hissing at her friend.
“Twilight?”
>Hissinghorsenoises!
>Pinkie was backed up against the counter, eyes just tiny pinpricks, making little mewling sounds.
>What the fuck was going on?
“Twilight knock it off, you’re scaring Pinkie.”
>All the pink pony did was come over and ask if you wanted more coffee to go with your breakfast.
>Then Twilight began making those odd sounds.
“Seriously knock it off or we’re leaving.”
>Twilight completely ignored you.
>She wants to do things the hard way? Fine by you.
>Standing up you snatched up the purple alicorn by the scruff of her neck.
>She made a few swipes at you with her hooves, all of which were easily avoided since you were well out of her reach.
“Hey Pinkie, I’ll stop by in a bit to pay for this, first I got to put someone in a time out.”

Who's drinking tonight except for me?
>>28347823
Rarity would probably have the most inner conflict, balancing her need for being a high class mare and not being hurt again with a failed relationship.

>>28347958
I wish I could be drinking but I got classes to go to tomorrow.

I can drink tomorrow night though. Whiskey.

>>28347958
Nicely done.
I remember the original "cat; I'm a kitty cat" video

>>28347958
I would drink but I drank all my rum last night. There wasn't a lot of it to begin with.

>>28347823
Well reasoned. I like your Rarity.

>>28347981
Which is the original? I've only ever seen the Halo one. What was that now, ten, eleven years ago?

>>28347958
>Ponies acting like not-ponies
My favourite.
>Twilight gets too excited when you rub her belly
>She grabs your hand with her forehooves and "scratches" your arm with her rear hooves
>Tries to bite you bite you but can't b/c flat herbivore teeth

>>28348008
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaA_cs4WZHM

>>28347024
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!--"
>Be Soarin once again
>You were in the gym, doing your free weight work before you had to go out and practice your routines with the team
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!--"
>At that moment you were squatting
>In front of you, an inch from your muzzle to be exact, was the team's weightlifting coach, Anonymous
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!--"
>And he was screaming
>Screaming very loudly
>In your face
>You don't know exactly WHY he was screaming but he hadn't stopped since you had gotten into the gym
>And you didn't like it
>Not one little bit
>Out of the corner of your eye you could see your fellow teammates looking at you with pity and more than a little concern
>Some of them no doubt wanted to go come over and help you
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!--"
>But who in Celestia's name was going to say anything to a green, muscle-y, veiny, red-faced, crazy giant?
>Nopony, that's who
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!--"
>Badfeelscolt.jpg

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>Be anon.
>And you're somewhere in the wood's.
>You hear angry chanting and walk to it.
>Sound's like English.
>"Down with the mare! Down with the mare!"
>And they must be pissed off farmers.
>You finally make it out of the wood's and into a bright colored village with a big crystal castle.
>You head to the castle to figure out what the chanting is about.
>You pass a couple small pastel pony's on the way.
>And there is a bunch of the pony's with lil sign's chanting.
>Okay the pony's can talk...
>Good to know.
>You walk up to one of them that are standing still.
"Hey uh, excuse me. What's going on? "
>"The 'princess' of friend ship just got off on RAPE charges!"
"Well, did she do it? "
>"It shouldn't matter! If a stallion says he was raped he was raped!"
>So the tiny male pony's are retarded.
>Moving through the small crowd of retarded pony's you make it into the castle.
"Hello? Anybody home?"
>You look into the next room and see a purple pony with wing's and a horn with it's face in it's hooves.
>"If you're here for the protest it's outside."
>It has a feminine voice.
>Must be the princess.
"No, im just wondering where i am and why there are talking pony's.
>"What do you mean? You're in equestria. And of course we can-
>She stops talking as she glances over at you.
>"What are you? Some sort of Minotaur?"
>Minotaur? Talking pony's? Yep ether you're dead or in a different universe.
>Or both.
"No, I'm a human and I'm from earth which I'm guessing I'm not on any more. "
>"No you're on Equus. Wait, another world! You're a alien! This is such a big scientific brake through! How was your world? How did you get here? Do you have super strong magic!?"
>Okay, science pony likes science.
"Okay calm down. Ill answer your questions if you answer mine. First, what's with the pissed off pony's outside?"
>She grimaces.

>>28348073
>"Oh, them... They're mad i didn't get locked away because i was found not guilty on a rape trial."
"Well, did you do it?"
>She jumps at that.
>"N-NO! I would never do that! I never even met that stallion before!"
"But if you didn't do it why are they angry? You were found not guilty."
>She sighs.
>"They think since i am princess celestia's star student and a princess i bribed the judge. I told them i didn't but they won't listen to me because I'm a mare... Bucking stallionist... "
>You begin to think.
>Maybe if you help her she'll help you.
"What if i talk to them? "
>"What do you mean? A mare talking to them will just make it worse. "
>Ow, my masculinity.
"I'm not a mare."
>"Oh, my! I'm so sorry you just act more like a mare! N-not that stallions can't be smart!"
"It's ok, just let me go talk to them."
>"Okay, thank you."

All right sorry this is going slow but its hard for me to make a good introduction. Any feedback is welcome on how i can make it better I'll write more later.

To the end of my days I will live on happily knowing something I wrote was funny enough to be archived.

Also, no one will ever believe me.

>>28348025
Huh, the Halo one is actually 2 years older than this.

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>>28347970
I'll drink for you my friend.

>All the royalty was here.
>Even Cadence decided to come and see Twilight, leaving Shining to take care of their new hellspawn.
>That filly was evil, why wouldn’t anyone listen?
>The scene playing out before you was one that still defied any comprehension.
>All of them were in the process of eating the crepes in the most bizarre ways imaginable.
“Twilight why are you levitating ::SPLAT:: never mind.”
>The stack now lay perched, pierced by her horn, atop her head.
>And she was squeezing the bottle of chocolate syrup all over them.
>These mares were really a bad influence for her.

I'm just going through my random folder and writing whatever comes to mind, feel free to ignore my drunken writings.

>>28348079
>Feedback
Write more, more green is always good.

>>28348079
CAPITALIZE YOUR I'S YOU FUCK

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>>28342767
Ayyy, I forgot that Labor Day was a thing! Three-day weekend bitcheeees!

I took a break and wrote a thing today. It's not an update to anything that exists since I wasn't expecting to be writing anything so soon, but it is a oneshot I've been thinking about for a while. I have to do a BBQ thing right now, but I'm about 2K words in and should have it done by late tonight or tomorrow.

Happy Labor day girls, keep up the good work. I'm liking all this green.

>>28348079
>And then Anon went outside and punched them all in the mouths

>>28348098
Have a glass for me, Heli.

>>28348141
i want it ghouls

>>28348079
>"It's ok, just let me go talk to them."
This Anon has never interacted with PC cultists has he?
What the hell could you even say to them?

also you better fucking finish this
I'm can't handle another propeller getting another one of you

>>28348141
I never realized that Ma and Pa Pie sleep in separate beds.

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Dear [RGRE], you have received a package from [Bonposter]. Would you like to open?

>>28348403
>Mystery Box
Could be a car! Could be a boat! Could be a Mystery Box!

Open it! Open it!

>>28348403
>>28348433
Is it dicks?

>>28348403
>inb4 BNW's corpse

>>28348502
>inb4 Analplug's corpse

>>28347373
>>28348403

I couldn't help myself

>Inside the box is a recording
>"Special Agent Anon, a target with critical intelligence is hiding somewhere in or near Las Pegasus"
>"We have reason to believe they will remain in the vicinity for at least the next 5 days."
>"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to locate and capture this target for interrogation"
>"Special Agent Sweetie Drops will accompany you for this mission."
>"A local asset with further details awaits your arrival at the Celestial Casino and Resort."
>"This message will self destruct in 5 seconds."

>>28346551>>28346455
>>28346480

>The crystal sacred band
>a elite corps of stallion couples
>known to never retreat
>the more of one of them falls the harder they fight
>fighting against them is either a victory for them or a Pyrrhic victory for the enemy

I want a personal royal guard mare to do things with.

>>28347461
protein powder and tequila, not even once

>>28348080
I believe you.

>>28348700
Somehow I feel like White Russians and protein powder would mix a bit better than tequila and protein powder.

>>28348033
LnP, LnP how many lifts with hand weights are best for keeping fit?!

>>28348829
All of them

>>28348079
Words like pony that end in a -y switch to -ies for pluralization.

Pony's = Possessive, you're saying something belongs to one pony.
Ponies = Plural, there are several ponies.
Ponies' = Possessive plural, you're talking about something that belongs to several ponies at the same time(like a house belonging to a herd, for example).

HOWEVER, as usual there are exceptions. In this case, if a word ends with -ey you keep the -ey instead of changing to -ie. Like monkeys for plural, monkey's for possessive, and monkeys' for both at the same time.

>>28342499
Lol! Thx anon, I needed that.

>>28343687
Really? Nobody's gonna say it?
.
.
Fine, I gotta do everything around here.

Not RGRE enough.

>>28347121
gotta re watch knight's tale now

>>28343929
Oldfag kek

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>>28348114
NO!

>>28348098
Will do friend.

>>28348143
Well fuck, there goes that idea.

>>28348163
I promise I won't let the propeller get me.

>>28348877
Thank you. I'd lie and say English isn't my first language but it is. Im just retarded and don't spell as much as i should.


Ok, so for people who are wondering why i did such a small post its because im using a phone to type this up I'll work on the next update tomorrow for now im gonna be reading other greentext. I've also decided i need a name so people know im updating. Does anyone got a good name i should use?

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>>28349018
>name
NotAStallionist?

not sure what to suggest since i don't know where your story is going

>>28344778
Fuck.

>>28349018
>I promise I won't let the propeller get me.
don't make my go through this again

Last time it was orphanage-Anon and Pinky

>>28349018
Soap.

your name is Soap.

>>28348079
Only word of advice i have is unless you want to finish what you start, always leave what you are writing off on an easy to conclude note.

beyond that, keep going god damnit.

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>>28349018
>>28349151
His name is Fight Club!

>>28349229
Dude, shut up! What's the FIRST fucking rule of Fight Club?!

>>28349272
don't drop the soap?

>>28349272
Always cuddle after?

>>28349272
you just broke it too though.