Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1104

Tripfags in Equestria

>>28321817
That right there is the face of a mare who's resigned herself to a dreadful fate full of non-consensual cuddles.

>>28321817
Sorry, was at work. Get the next one made

F-F-Friday?

>>28322388
FRIDAY!
FRIDAY!
FRIDAY!
WATCH NITRO FUELED MONSTER TRUCKS ROAR THROUGH THE GATES OF HELL!
FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!
THIS FRIDAY AT THE NATIONAL GUARD ARMORY!
MONSTER TRUCK MADNESS!
FRIDAY!

>>28321980
>mare

>>28322388
You do it.

>>28322655
It has eyelashes and a rounded snoot.
It's probably female.

>>28322716
I lost the mic

Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7kJRGPgvRQ

>You’re teenage Anon hanging with your best teenage friend Spike.
>By which you mean you’re watching porn together.
>You both get your pants off and your hands lubed up.
“Ready for the song, Spike!?”
>”Ready, Anon!”
>You start your stereo.
>It was time to sing the Whack Off Song.
>”You both start. “Whack off! Whack off! Whack off! Whack off! Hey!”
>And now, it was one line each, just like every time you whacked off.
“Whack off, makes your arm stronger!”
>”Whack off, no more feeling bad!”
“Whack off, your eyes are shining!”
>”Whack off, makes you the real man!”

“Whack off, wipes away your tears!”
>”Whack off, removes your fears!”
“Whack off, everyone is gorgeous!
>”Whack off, yeah Whack off!”
>You get your free arms around each other’s shoulders and sing.
“Wanking is good for you, soon you are unconstrained!”
>”Wanking is good for you, makes you a womanizer!”
“Wanking is good for you Not anymore lonesome!”
>”Wanking is good for you, And you will feel awesome!”
>You both cheer. “And you will feel awesome! Hey!”

“Out of respect for nature,”
>”Our whacking and spankers.”
“Promising, that the whacking off”
>”Is only to the greatest porn”
“Like Luna’s big fat flank!”
>You both laugh but keep going.
“Out of respect for nature,”
>”Our whacking and spankers.”

>>28324748
“Whack off, makes your arm stronger!”
>”Whack off, no more feeling bad!”
“Whack off, your eyes are shining!”
>”Whack off, makes you the real man!”

“Whack off, wipes away your tears!”
>”Whack off, removes your fears!”
“Whack off, everyone is gorgeous!
>”Whack off, yeah Whack off!”
>You get your free arms around each other’s shoulders and sing.
“Wanking is good for you, soon you are unconstrained!”
>”Wanking is good for you, makes you a womanizer!”
“Wanking is good for you Not anymore lonesome!”
>”Wanking is good for you, And you will feel awesome!”
>You both cheer once more. “And you will feel awesome!”
>Before the awesome solo can happen, Twilight turns off your stereo.
>You both turn around at the stopping of the music and look at her, sheer terror gripping tight.
>How did she know!? You weren’t being that loud.
>Oh you were gonna get it.
>Seven hours of having to alphabatyze or cleaning the owl’s cage or something.
>You brace for your punishment.
>But all that comes out of Twilight’s mouth before she leaves is “Jerking off together? Y’all zigga’s are gay.”
>…Huh?
>She shuts the door and you and Spike look at each other.
>Your eyes drift downward.
“Whaaaat? Spike, how come you have –two- wieners?”
>No fair.

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>day 500,000 Scoville units in Equestria
>you are Anonymous, and you are in Equestria
>somehow your little back yard garden came with you
>your cherry tomatoes are just getting ripe and look very nice, and even earth ponies compliment you on them
>you have sweet bell peppers and green beans and carrots
>you also have some vegetables seemingly unknown in Equestria, even the locals
>hot peppers
>what? you like them
>the ponies don't know what they are
>Purplesmart eats one and turns into Rapidash for a few minutes
>freaky
>Fluttershy's pet rabbit stole some along with half your carrots last week
>hasn't been back since and you hope the little bastard learned a lesson
>Squiggletail looks at your garden and calls it "delightfully rustic," with the air of someone wiht no fucks to give
>Applejack tried to eat a fistful of green cayenne peppers against your advice and burst into literal flames
>fortunately she has toon-level durability and in the next scene she was okay
>you're BBQing habanero peppers stuffed with cream cheese and garlic
>you said they were called "atomic buffalo turds" and they said that was offensive
>oh well
>at least the peppers are keeping the parasprites out of your tomatoes
>Rainbow Dash is the only one who likes to eat hot peppers here, it seems
>though when she tried to take a dump the next day you could hear her screaming all the way from Cloudsdale
>Pinkie is trying to figure out how to make them into candy
>you're trying to remember a recipe for vegetarian chili
>well, that was anticlimactic

>>28324942
hot

Crossposting from AiE because apparently I am blind or something.

>Be Anon in Equestria
>Expert call-o'-dooty warfighter hero
>Ponies tried to harbor dangerous terrorist Obama bin Amir, killer of twenty icecream van men
>You know this because they have oil and that taxidriver pony you saw once said something about trucks with sarin plants in them
>Now you are dressed in your finest army camo snuggie and carrying your Red Ryder Air Rifle to a vantage point by their princess's book depository castle
>She always comes out to the balcony to eat lunch and read a book in the sun
>That is when you will strike
>You reach a grassy knoll with a good view and lay down your picnic blanket, get out a sandwich, and set up your tripod
>Just a few more minutes and these ponies will be free of this oppressive reigime
>As you peer through the telephoto lens scope and flick on your laser sight you take bite of your cheeseburger sandwich
>You can taste the freedom, invigorating you as if you just headbutted a bald eagle returning from a migration through canada
>In the distance a door opens, and out walks a purple pony
>This is it, the moment of truth.
>You line up your shot
>Exhale
>Pull the trigger
>PING
>You shoot out the eye of the unlucky pony downrange
>"Hey Anon, what's this contraption you've got?" says a voice that strangely resembles that of the princess you have set out to eliminate
>You turn away from your weapon's sight and see it is indeed the evil Twilight Sparkle
"What are you doing here? You should be on the balcony!"
>"I decided to go for a walk and have lunch at a cafe instead today, it's good to get out sometimes."
>But if she's here, who did you shoot?
>ABORT MISSION
>You flee away from the purple pony as fast as your legs can carry you
>Unfortunately this is not as fast as Twilight can trot, and she follows you
>"Great idea, a short jog would be wonderful right about now."
>GODDAMNIT TWILIGHT THIS IS NOT HOW IT IS MEANT TO GO

>>28325835
Another

>Be Anon in Deadquestria
>Zombie Twilight is trying to break into your house to get at your brains
>Zombie Fluttershy is with her, trying to get at your dick
>Neither of these ponies can be allowed to get their teeth on you, since you need both your fuck-rod and your think-gland to remain intact
>If it were any other two ponies, you'd be okay
>But Twilight knows how to use doors
>None of the other zomponies have figured out how to open a doorknob with hooves
>Good thing you have locks on them
>Today was a stay inside kind of day

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story request: Anon is the One True NEET, the horses conspire to bathe him.

>>28326387
Neat neet

>>28321980
>"I joined the guard for this?"

>>28328840
Eh, free hugs.

>>28326387
All hail One True NEET.

>>28328840
I'll bet she did, the slut.

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How about another one of you sluts posts something for a fucking change today.

>>28331137
Later nigga.
I just got off work and now have my first day off in a month tomorrow.

Continuing the Saga of Anon the Barbarian http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8

>-----A week later in the Everfree forest-----

>Despite the world being more civilised and a lot tamer than back in your day.
>Back in your day. Fuck you're old now.
>Anyway, you're still determined to recapture the spirit of adventure that sustained you.
>A museum heist didn't quite do it. Neither did the tongue lashing from princess rainbow mane.
>Why couldn't she understand it wasn't stealing, you can't steal your own stuff.
>Just because you weren't using it for 8000 years doesn't means it's not yours anymore.
>Fucking hell.
>But enough of that, adventure time. In this case a hunt in the deadliest place within walking distance.
>The Everfree Forest.
>It certainly has the right feel for an adventure. All dark and brooding with twisted trees.
>Hell yeah, back in the saddle baby.
>And like divine providence or a deus ex machina, you can see prey through the trees.
>A river serpent. You almost feel like laughing.
>Instead you creep closer, careful. Careful.
>Leaping out of cover with a shout you brandish your spear, ready for the strike.
>"Oh, hello. I'm Steve, I don't think I've met something like you before but if you're looking for stylist, you've come to the right place honey."
>It's talking. And it may be a gay hairdresser.
>Are you allowed to hunt those? This has caught you off-guard.
>"Er... I'm Anon, how fair thee river serpent?"

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>>28331284
>It squeals in delight.
>"Well let me tell you sweetie."
>"Ponies are flying, Clothes are drying, Crusaders are trying, Changelings are lying too."
>"Flim and Flam are shilling, Chocolate milk's spilling, The whole forest's gone to hell. But how are you?"

>Music has started from nowhere, this better not be a long song. You've never had much patience for spontaneous singing.

>"I'm super, Thanks for asking, All things considered, I couldn't be better I must say."
>"I'm feeling super, No, nothing bugs me, Everything is super when you're-"
>"Don't you think I look cute in this hat."

>The sea serpent points to a passing donkey, you somehow failed to notice before.

>"I'm so sorry, Mr. Donkey, But I just can't feel too bad for you right now."
>"Because I'm feeling, So insanely super, That even the fact that you've gone bald, Can't bring me down."

>A pack of timberwolves burst from the trees, no doubt drawn by the noise.
>You ready your spear but the pack doesn't pounce.

>"He's super, Thanks for asking, All things considered, He couldn't be better he must say"

>They're the fucking chorus.

>"I'm super, No, nothing bugs me, Everything is super when you're-"
>"Don't you think I look cute in this hat, These little pants, this matching tie!"

>Patience stretched to the limit you drop your spear in the dirt.
>Turn around and storm back in the direction of Canterlot.
>Fucking forest.

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>>28331302
kek

>>28331302
Yer a gem, my man.

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>>28325838
>>28325835

>>28325835
>Drunk
>Blind
Took you long enough.

>Be Anon.
>You bought a dog for Rarity because she asked for one.
>That lasted about two weeks before you had to give it back.
>You caught them once.
>Turns out that is the line for you.
>Twilight has learned how to program now.
>Unfortunately she in not very imaginative and recreates existing applications.
>A part of you really enjoys the look of frustration she gets when you show her a program that looks and runs better than the one she created.
>You also like consoling her petting and cuddles.
>Eventually she'll learn to ask you things in the brainstorming phase of her projects.
>Until then you just enjoy the book horse cuddles.

>>28334762
more

>>28335114
You always say that anon.

>>28335237
And he's always right.

>>28331302
This is good.

>Day p0nes cowering in fear in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Man of many names
>The latest being The Serial Boopist
>You're face is posted up all around every major city
>No one knows where you will strike next
>Just that when you do, they wont be able to stop you
>No one has ever escaped The Serial Boopist unbooped
>Not even Pinkie Pie and her crazy physics breaking antics and shenanigans
>You hold a cute mint green pony curled up asleep in your hands
>Hands
>They were the reason you had caught your latest prey
>You didn't even have to do anything
>She came to you spouting nonsense about your hands
>Her name was Loira or something
>BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER
>What mattered was that she was the latest victim of
>The Serial Boopist

Just a little something if anyone wanted some. Not like I wanted to impress you or anything, baka.

>>28324942
All the peppers in that pic are baby tier. Sad. Also, don't defile chilies with a thing like cream cheese. And vagitarian chilie would be easy to do. Smh desu senpai. It's like you got no taste and can't into cooking.

>>28324942
Try Indomie Abang Adek- AKA Death Noodles so spicy, it could temporarily make you deaf... (estimated 20 Milliion Scoville...)

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>>28335554

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>>28336636
>combat petting

>>28336685
You know she would be a total cuddleslut.

"Rayray, if we don't make it out if here I just want you to know... I think your dresses are really pretty."
>"oh be quiet Anon and pass me the gun."
>day nerf gun battle in equestria.
>you talked the girls into having a game with all your assorted toy guns.
>what. Nerf guns are fun. Shut up.
>you, rarity, dash, Pinkie and scoot.
> V twilight, fluttershy, applejack, applebloom and sweetiebell.
>Fighting in the Apple orchard
>little harmless plush darts fly everywhere
>fluttershy has taken up a Defentresive position in a tree
>twi has begun digging a trench with applejack.
>applebloom and sweetiebell have reinforced the treehouse.

>little do they know, you have air superiority.
>dash swoops high above diving low to keep trenchfoot and applesauce in their hole.
>you and rare are pinned down by fluttershy's sniperfire.
>only scootaloo stands any chance of gaining ground.
"Scoots! Try and use the trees as cover!"
>"got it!"
>she crawls along the ground
*paf paf paf*
>three shots ring out.
>"oh, aw dang I'm out."
>scoots got hit in the leg by Twilight
"SCOOTALOO! NOOOOAAGGH!"
>you scream as you leap up and fire wildly into the air.
*pafpafpafpaf*
>your gun clicks empty and you sprint over to scoots.
"SHE WAS SO YOUNG! WHY, WHY WHY CURSE YOU FLUTTERSHY!"
>"Anon I'm fine."
"CUT DOWN BY FATE'S CRUEL SWORD!"
>"what are you talking ab-"
"SHE NEVER EVEN GOT TO SEE PARIS
>"Anon."
"SHE WILL NEVER SEE HER SON AGAIN, ANOTHER FAMILY TORN APART BY WAR."
>"Ano-"
"#DANNY BOY THE PIPES, THE PIPES ARE CALLING#"
>war never changes

>>28336874
kek

>>28336685
How would that even work?

>>28338232
>rush in
>pony sees you attempting to pet
>tries to fight back
>Anon is well trained in the art of Pet-fu
>counters, your attacks
>younger petted.

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>>28338286
Seems legit

I'm sure this was asked a million times before but I don't follow these threads very often. Does anybody have a copy of PaleNarrator's pastes and why are his stories with not working links still in Completed Stories list?

>>28339533
There's a link to saved ones, but I don't have it. Someone will post it.
Gone because he nuked the pastrybin

>Target Spotted. Target is reading a book in the Treebrary.
>You know this because you're in the room. And you live here. In Twilight's Treebrary. And she likes to read.
>You ready yourself for a special operation that will take all your strength and cunning.
>Crossing the room, approaching Twilight stealthily, you're right behind the target.
>She has no idea you're there. And then...
>"Hey Twilight. What time is it?" You say
>"Good morning Anon, I'd say it's about 9 o'clock"
>"Wrong! IT'S SNUGGLE TIME!"
>Lunging forward you scoop up the purple pony
>She let's out a surprised squeak. It's adorable.
>"Anon! What are you doing!?"
>"I told you twilight, it's snuggle time!"
>She starts trying to squirm out of your hug as your carry her towards to sofa.
>Silly pony has forgotten you're alot stronger than ponies.
>Lying down on the sofa, you pull purple pony close. One hand scratching behind her ears, the other rubbing her chest and belly. Is it called a chest? Fucking horse anatomy.
>Twilight finally stops squirming only for her horn to start glowing.
>You ain't getting out that easy sparklebutt. Gently you nibble on one of her ears. It's super effective.
>Twilight gasps and the light goes out. She let's out an exasperated sigh.
>Squirming round in your kung-fu hug she pokes you in the chest with a hoof.
>"You are going to pay for this Anon" she says before closing her eyes and snuggling into you.
>One down. Five to go.

>>28340160
>Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Oh the candyman can. Something something candyman can.
>Or in this case candypony who lives in a gingerbread house. Well it's Pinkie Pie and a bakery.
>You still have suspicions about the edibility of that building though. It's not right.
>She has stuff you'll need for later. And lunch. And snuggles.
>Kill three birds with one stone and all that.
>Striding manfully into candyland you resist the urge to contract diabeetus and instead say
>"Hey Pinkie Pie"
>"Hey Nonny Nonkins"
>"Pinkie you got lots of supplies and stuff, something for every occasion right"
>"Sure do Nonny, do you need to borrow some?"
>"Yeah"
>"Then follow me!"
>As you reach the bottom of the slide you find yourself in the Pinkie Cave. Probably not what she calls it though.
>"Hey Nonny, do you know what time it is?"
>"Probably mid-afternoon Ponk"
>"Wronga rooney Nonny. IT'S SNUGGLE TIME!"
>Oh god damn it!
>The pink pony leaps at you, slamming into your chest and tackling you to the ground.
>"You win this time you pink menace."
>"Shush Nonny, snuggle time is quiet time." she says as she snuggles her head into your chest.
>3_hours_later_spongebob_timecard.jpg
>Pinkie finally releases you. You're in her bedroom right now. She made you carry her up there for 'comfier snuggles'.
>Nothing lewd happened. Unless snuggles are lewd here. No that's ridiculous even for this place.
>It would mean you raped Twilight. And Pinkie raped you. Or at least sexual harassment is involved.
>They would have said something and you somehow doubt rape is their fetish.
>"So can I borrow that gear Pinkie?"
>"Sure thing Nonny, I'll have it all packed up and ready tomorrow morning!"
>Two down. Four to go. As you head for home you begin to wonder if this one counts though.

>>28340169
>A new dawn, a new day and time for certain multi-coloured mare to get her snuggles.
>First things first, the set up.
>90_minutes_later_spongebob_timecard.jpg
>Target acquired. Rainbow tail spotted poking out of cloud. She's so predictable.
>Deploying ladder. "Hey Rainbow"
>"Anon? I'm trying nap here you know"
>"Do you know what time it is rainbow?"
>Her eyes go wide, Twilight must have said something.
>You can feel your smile widening to inhuman proportions as she stammers "N-no"
>"IT'S SNUGGLE TIME!"
>*fwoosh* Rainbow Dash rockets away from you.
>Damn she can move fast, but this chase has only just begun.
>Racing after her, you give chase through the streets of ponyville.
>And then you hear the magic words "AH! What the buck!?"
>90_minutes_earlier_spongebob_timecard.jpg
>"Anon, what are you doing?"
>"Oh hey Lyra. Just setting up this net."
>Lyra looks at you strangely "Why are hanging a net in the middle of the street?"
>"Oh you know, reasons. Say give a hand, or hoof, and grab that end."
>90_minutes_later_spongebob_timecard.jpg
>Rainbow is struggling to escape your net. My god you're brilliant.
>"Anon! What the hay is wrong with you?"
>"I zee you are suffering from ze Snugglitis. Az you're doctor, I prescribe ze 2 hours of snuggles."
>Lifting up the mare and resisting the urge to make jokes about pots of gold and rainbows, you walk towards a nearby tree and sit down under >it.
>She struggles briefly before giving up "You're not gonna let me go are you?"
>"Nope."
>She sighs before giving in to the power of the darkside. Good, good let the snuggles flow through you.
>Three down. Three to go.

>>28340182
>The apple orchards can be a dangerous place.
>Red horses attacking other males, seductive flutterbats after your juice and that shit with the magic apples.
>Don't care how insulted they were. You are not eating something with more colours than Rainbow Dash.
>And the various mental images that popped into your head when saw Rainbow eating it, well let's just say they didn't help.
>But enough of that. You've got a mission soldier. And this one has got to be hard and fast.
>So you don't get bucked in the ass. Ha it rhymes, should totally challenge zecora to a rhyme battle.
>Speaking of bucking, there's the target. Applejack bucking trees.
>Ok, act casual. Sauntering up to applejack you say "Hey Applejack, do you know what time it is?"
>"Howdy there Anon, well I reckon it's near time fer lunch. Y'all can join us if ya like."
>"I'm afraid I can't Applejack. You see it's not lunch time."
>"Now what in the hay are you talkin about sugarcube, of course it's lun-"
>"IT'S SNUGGLE TIME!" Grabbing the orange apple you hold her facing away from you, so she can't kick you.
>"ANON! WHAT IN TARNATION ARE YOU DOIN! PUT ME DOWN!"
>Time to make your incredible escape.
>"Anon. What are you doin with mah sister?"
>Oh shit. It's Hank Hill and he's gonna kick your ass. Wait nope, it's just Big Mac.
>"Er.... Snuggling." You could swear Applejack blushed a bit when you said that.
>"Nope" Ah fuck. RUN!
>10_minutes_later_spongebob_timecard.jpg
>"Anon, y'all can put me down now."
>"No. I'm getting my snuggles even if I have to run while doing it." you shout while sprinting through the streets of ponyville.
>"Anon! You get back here with mah sister."
>"NEVER!" Shit he's gaining.
>"I'm gonna buck your ass!"
>Four down. Two to go. Fuck me this is a workout and a half.
>king_of_the_hill_credits.webm

>>28340197
>Day 3 of the Snuggle Safari. Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting Fwuttershys.
>You're not entirely sure how this one is gonna go down.
>You can't exactly be rough with her. She's more delicate than the others.
>So you just knock on the door. And eventually it's answered
>"Oh Hello Anon, What brings you here?"
>"Just thought I'd swing by and visit."
>"That's nice, please come in."
>No animals around, that's good. She can't sic a bear on me, better make sure.
>"Fluttershy where are your animals?"
>"It's autumn, so they're all out looking for a nice cozy place to spend the winter."
>You sit down on the sofa next to Fluttershy, this is the moment.
>"Hey Fluttershy, do you know what time it is?"
>"Oh, I'm not sure."
>"IT'S SNUGGLE TIME!" You don't lunge forward, it'd scare the shit out of her.
>Strangely her eyes light up and she's smiling "It is?"
>"Well yeah, wait you want to snuggle."
>"Oh my yes, I love snuggles."
>That was easy "Well ok then"
>Laying down on the sofa you start getting those snuggles.
>"This is nice"

>*Fluttershy's perspective*
>"This is nice" says Anon
>"Yeah snuggle me hard you dirty colt." You mutter
>"What was that?"
>"I didn't hear anything."
>Anon just grunts and gets back to snuggling
>"They'll hear the screams when we're rutting though, everyone will hear them." You whisper
>"Did you say something fluttershy?"
>"Oh I was just saying how nice and snuggley you are."
>"Awwww, thanks flutters."

>>28340197
>The Quest for Snuggles: Episode 6: Return of the Anon
>A new day and you're ready to take on Rarity.
>You'd planned to do it yesterday but you didn't.
>Partly because Flutters snuggled you from morning to late afternoon
>Partly because you had shit to do.
>Actual important shit like groceries and what not.
>Despite what everypony thinks you don't spend all your time hatching bullshit schemes and engaging in mindblowing wierdness.
>Also you're kind of scared of this one. Hell Big Mac kicking your ass was a risk you calculated for.
>But fucks knows how Rarity will react. And she's got magic.
>Well no sense in delaying the inevitable.
>Knocking on the door it's answered immediately
>"Anonymous you're finally here"
>"You were expecting me?"
>"But of course darling why wouldn't I be?"
>"Oh right, I suppose you would have heard about what I've been doing"
>"How could I not"
>You're slightly annoyed she's so calm. Kinda sucking the fun out of it.
>What about the thrill of the chase?
>"Now Anon it's rude to keep lady waiting"
>Welp you came here to snuggle a marshmallow and DadAnon taught you to never back down
>You pick her up and walk over to the sofa to begin the marshmallowing.
>"Oh and Anon I should probably mention that I had a surprise for you"
>"Oh really?" It's going to be clothes isn't it
>"What time is it Anon?" Whirling round you see Twilight walking into the room
>"I know what time it Anon" Dash is here too
>"It be snugglin time y'all" Oh shit.
>You try to make a run for the door but don't make it three paces before six ponies tackle you to the ground
>"We can be a herd now Nonny!"
>"Yay!"
>The snuggler has become the snuggled.

Just something to bump the thread while I write other stuff.

>>28340223
You're a pretty cool dude.

>>28336874
>nerf gun wars
I miss high school. This anon was literally me when we used to have nerf weapons fight.

>>28334762
>programmer slave-Twi inadvertently remaking programs
I like this idea.

"What've you got for me today, Twilight?"
>"Still working on a printer-friendly fractal image that induces a suggestible hypnotic state in humans so you'll take this horn restraint off me, buuuuut... I did make THIS!"
>She shows a program that's clearly a game of solitaire
"Twilight, you seriously need to do your research. This has been done."
>"I can't do research without internet privileges."
>Anon facepalms and pulls up the 'games' tab in the start menu
"They've had solitaire and freecell included in the OS for decades now. Not only did you remake someone else's program, you remade one you already had installed."
>Twilight opens up the programming window and sets the game state to 'won'
>The cards start dropping out of their places and bouncing off screen, leaving trails of card-sprites in their wake
"Holy shit, this is awesome! They haven't had that feature since Vista!"
>It was an 'else if and if' kind of day

>>28341321
>High school
Anon, I work in an office job and that's about once or twice a month now.

>>28341582
She gets the horn restraint off when she learns not to turn people into potted plants.

>>28341582
I'm wondering what she did to lose internet privileges.

>>28341582
we need more programer slave-twilight

>>28342922
4chan

>>28343175
I thought so. I bet she goes on /pol/ to get upset.

>>28341321
>not having Nerf gun fights on a regular basis no matter your age
Don't be a fucking faggot

bump 10

>>28344152
>Be Bon Bon.
>You're doing your shopping like a good pony when you notice too late that the street is empty.
>You look around frantically for him, but he's not to be found.
>Maybe he found another pony to bother already?
>No. No he didn't.
>You feel him grab your flank from behind as he thrusts against you.
>Not once.
>Not twice.
>But ten times.
>He cries out "Bump" with each thrust.
>When he's done he just drops you where you are and walks away for an hour or so before he does it to another pony.
>You really need to move back to Canterlot. This town gets weirder by the day.

>>28321817
I like the pic

>>28345031
Is gud

>>28344460
oooh

>>28345780
>Day boner in Equestria.
>There is something in the food or in the air here, but whatever it is you can't get it up anymore.
>No more flogging the dolphin.
>No more punching the clown.
>No more chicken choking.
>You can't talk to anyone about it either. You are the only human here and the vet would just tell you to eat more termites or something.
>Stupid vet, you're not a chimp.
>Oh well. At least you have a lot more free time now.
>You're using to make an elaborate suicide machine so you can scar some school children for life.
>Just like dear old dad.

>"Where are the unhappy couple?"
>Luna makes an expression of mild distaste.
>"They have locked themselves in thy guest room, it seems they have made peace."
>For now. Give it an hour and they'll be back to squabbling.
>Then make up snuggles for the billionth time.
>"You absolutely sure those two aren't, you know, affected."
>"We are quite sure Anon, sister and the spirit of chaos are not in thrall to Estrus."
>Could have fooled you.
>"They merely have-"
>"A complicated history." You say in unison.
>Ah yet another estrus, spring, mating season, Barry White Appreciation Month.
>And you just happen to be one of four beings on the planet who are immune.
>Celestia and Luna, as Alicorns, just don't do it.
>Something about ascension and magic. You aren't a wizard, you didn't understand a word of it.
>And then there's Discord, who by his nature is incapable of something so orderly and regular as a mating season.
>Well technically there's five beings really. The young Princess Candybutt.
>But as Princess of Love, she throws herself into this time of year. Literally from what you've heard.
>So much so she may as well have a mating cycle. Suppose it's part of her job description, sex and love.
>"Is the popcorn ready Luna?"
>"It is popping as we speak, we shall attend to it at once"
>And that's were you come in, something about human pheromones is repulsive to ponies in heat.
>Which is doubly news to you because you didn't know humans had pheromones.
>As a result, those three come hang at your place. Because it's completely free of horny ponies, minotaurs, gryphons, the works.

>>28346788
>Though it's not without its ups and downs.
>Apparently Celestia and Discord have a 'Complicated' but long term relationship. Alternating between squabbling and, to put it politely. aggressive snuggling.
>They should just get married and be done with it.
>You and Luna on the other hand....
>"Huzzah! The popped corn is prepared and we have applied the toffee."
>"Good. I cleaned the telescope lens this morning."
>At this point you both adjourn to the balcony. Because your house is that swanky.
>As for what you do on the balcony with Luna and two telescopes.
>You make bets on happenings in the town. And sometimes play drinking games too.
>"HA! Big Mac and the school teacher. Thou owe us five bits Anon."
>God damn it. Already?

http://pastebin.com/9fgbZ2kK

>>28345051

sup queermos. looking for something cute with anon and a pone romancing in someway.

lewd is obv fine
and id like rainbow cunt, bookhorse, sunnyD, or moon to be in it. but im mostly looking for cute, the specific pone isnt a big deal.

recommendations?

>>28348302
Pornhub

>>28348308
But I tried Pornhub and there wasn't any poni-related content. You homofags.

>>28348302
yes

>>28348302
The problem is we get this request every X days. It's why we have the sorted by pony list in the OP. Pick pony, read description, read if sounds interesting. Yeah it's a little out of date but fuck you. Come back afterwards.

>>28348302
I could have helped but reading that nignoggery gave me double turbo cancer.

>>28348544
Club-flank
Google it
Probably the best content there is

Got an urge to write something lengthy but no ideas.
Any of you faggots got some?

>>28349999
Checked
I haven't got them but if someone could post one of the two AiE prompt roll charts, that might help you.

>>28348308
>>28348919
>>28349261
read all those. they are old as fuck. shits never updated.

im asking for something newish

>>28350344
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO YOU TURBO NIGGER?

I got nothing.

>>28343177
Seems about right

>Be Rainbow Dash.
>Twilight has you keeping an eye on that monkey thing that lives in that house that appeared out of nowhere a month ago.
>You and the other girls make sure he isn't planning anything dangerous like taking over the town or eating ponies or pony's' brains.
>You'd totally stop him if he tried something like that.
>He mostly spends his time looking at those framed pictures of other monkeys he keeps in his living room and then crying like a baby. What a wimp.
>Oh, now he's doing something in the kitchen. You stealthily move your cloud to get a better view.
>Okay, he's heating up some water.
>Now he's pouring that water into a cup?
>What is that? Is that soup?
>Ha ha, look at that loser eating soup with a fork!
>Wait a minute. Those are noodles.
>"I want one:"

>>28352070
>Be Anon.
>Be eating lunch. Cup of noodles because you enjoy the finer things in life.
>You're meal is interrupted by the angry peacock bird horse knocking on your kitchen window.
>You open said window to see what she wants.
>"Neigh Neigh!" she say while pointing at your cup of noodles and then to her belly.
>Fuck it, you'll give her one.
>You pick out the beef flavored one because it doesn't come in horse. Normally you wouldn't be an asshole like that, but this chick is constantly spying on you through the windows and laughing at you. So fuck her.
>You make her cup and give her a fork.
>She disregards the silverware and downs that thing in one gulp.
Classy.
>"Neigh."
>She then smiles, smacks you on the back and flies out the window.
>You hope it gives her the shits.

>>28352570
No u

>>28352093
Moar

>>28352912
>Be Rainbow Dash.
>That soup was pretty awesome.
>You can't quite place the taste though.
>You'd ask the monkey, but he'd just grunt at you like he did in his kitchen.
>He's rude like that.
>You figure he's all right though; he did share his weird soup with you.
>You'll let Twilight know about it and call it a day.
>Nap time is calling you, and you mean to answer.


I have to go to bed. Durnk should take over, or He-Anon if he's around. Otherwise I'll bump the thread with it later.

My god, i hate work!

>>28353385
Become a NEET and hate everything.

>>28353460
You don't have to hate everything while being a NEET anon.

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>>28353595
You don't have to, but usually that's what happens no matter what you do.

Because your brain is an asshole and wants only to go innawoods and hunt some wooly mammoths and fit perfectly in the social role dictated by society with your other alaskifican-americans for the sole purpose of recreation and survival.

Getting a souless office job,trying to score and having an unfulfilling life with 2.5 kids and a tiny yapping dog that your wife insists on having is the closest analogue and your brain wants it because it's an asshole.

Your brain is literally pic related, but with more rocks.

>>28353931
>recreation*
*procreation

Fuck.

>>28353931
Yeah i was there a few months ago, still a NEET but i'm trying to be nicer and more positive. Sadly as the memes said i just had to be myself and try to allow myself to have fun, which in-turn meant i left the people i had been talking to for years since they were super negative too and would just be a hindrance to me bettering myself.

>>28354000
If they hinder you, they are not worth it.

None of them going to work for you and be "samaritans"... people always look for a weak peer to make profit, even if you are his friend.

Don't rely in anyone... they only hinder you and want your skin (or out of the way).

>>28353931
I want to became writer!
Not a office job!

>>28354082
There's a cruel irony that sometimes it's more enjoyable to have a job you don't care about so that what you don't become bitter doing shitty work for something you do care about.

Get that office job and be the shittiest desk clerk you can be! I believe in you!

>>28354230
Can't say that I've ever heard of that one.

>>28353595
Just yourself

>>28354346
Don't worry champ, once you get some confidence others will believe in you too.

>>28354000
Trips compel me to answer.

This is 4chan and we're talking shit, but seriously, SERIOUSLY. "Be yourself" is the worst fucking thing anyone can tell a kid. It's child abuse.

You see see toddlers playing on the playground, raising hell and pushing each other around and screaming? They're being themselves.

Part of growing up is learning how to behave and get along with other people and for a lot of us it does NOT come naturally. "Be yourself?" No. Figure out how other people want you to act, and act like that, if you can do it without getting in trouble.

It's like these people who say "listen to your body. If you want to be healthy, listen to your body." Really? Like the man says, my body wants pizza, beer, and Internet porn. My body doesn't want to do fifty pushups before breakfast and run a mile every morning, or eat brussels sprouts.

>>28355415
You just need sproots that have ben cooked right.

>>28355488
>and now it's dubs

Oh, no doubt. I actually like them if they're done well, but cooking is a hobby of mine.

>tfw I have two enormous pans of lasagna in the oven right now because the neighbors gave my landlord too many eggplant and he asked me to "do something with them"

>>28355415
What if your body wants to be a neet who writes horse fiction?

>>28353931
As a guy with a wife, three kids, and two cats I can say that life is what you make of it. Also, don't settle for a girl just because she's willing to be with you. If a girl is constantly criticizing you on your interests, behavior, job prospects, etc then she isn't worth having around. There are woman out there who will appreciate you for the person you are instead of the person they want you to be. These are also the type of women who can hold down a job and can laugh at themselves.
Women also are not perfect. Many people have issues with that concept for some reason. They are not supposed to be the voice of the relationship who dictates when and where everyone is supposed to be, but I've ranted enough about that.

It just annoys me that men are supposed to be either spineless yes men or assholes with no other options. You are who you want to be, and do not tolerate people in your life that tell you otherwise, but also be willing to accept the consequences of your decisions. Being a NEET isn't a very glamorous or satisfying lifestyle.

>>28355556
You're talking about cooking and not the close you has been to be a god.

>Off by one...

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>>28356879
I should try that.

>Be Anon.
>Currently chained to a wall.
>Turns out getting drunk and slapping Princess Luna on the butt was not the smartest thing to do.
>Totally worth it though. That ass was fat.
>All the guards look at you like they caught their mom blowing you while Jesus gave you a high five.
>So now you're somewhere between a rapist and a blasphemer. Your dad would be proud.
>You dad also was killed when he let a horse fuck him in the ass.
>He was a strange guy.
>Oh well, at least prison food isn't too terrible. They even gave you a brownie for dessert.
>You hope they let you out soon. Someone has to feed your cat and you're pretty sure you had clothes in the washer.

bumpo

>>28358740
Yes

I gonna go to bed. My hand is hurt when i writing another story.

>>28359131
Gnight fag

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>>28358740
>you were never molested as a child

>>28357110
Kay

>>28359484
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE MOLESTED? AM I UGLY?

>>28360414
Consider investing in paper bags.

>>28321817
Oh god damnit, I saw the picture and thought this was prison general.

>>28360999
Relax

>>28321817
Fuck the police.

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>>28361530
Careful what you wish for, some of them are into that

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>>28357889

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>>28361576

after stalking this thread for coming on 3 or more years, think going to take up writing again and I'd like to write AiE, its simple, fun, and its nothing official so it can suck, or I can drop it and come back to it, I don't even watch the show anymore and still I'd like to write some AiE, any advice would be welcome but guess just speaking in this thread for the first time after so long

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>>28362902
>any advice would be welcome

>>28362902
>>28363111
Pat Celestia is right. We don't expect Hemingway here. You can even earn a 'you tried' gold star just for showing up.

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>>28362902
Even if you are complete shit, you can make up for it with a good cute story. I know this first-hand. I mean all my shit is shitty anyway, but if it's cute enough it gets more (you)s which I guess means its less shitty. Or something. Just write something if you feel like it, holy shit.

>You stand waist deep in the ocean with your surfboard floating next to you.
>Rainbow Dash stands on top of it feebly trying to keep her balance while you hold it in place.
>She noticed you surfing and took an instant interest and when she asked you to teach her you figured why not.
"Alright, I'm gonna let go. Remember to distribute your weight."
>You push her away as the next wave comes.
>The water catches the board and propels it along while Dash desperately tries to keep standing.
>All too quickly she falls of.
>Her next try is equally short lived, so is the next and the next and the next.
>"Aww it didn't look that fun anyway."
"Don't give up yet. You just need the right tune. Pinkie! Drums!"
>Exploding behind two convenient drums clad in a Hawaiian shirt, Pinkie gives a long candied cackle.
>"Wipeout."
>The pink hyena bangs to the rhythm and a bass guitar comes from a random beach-goer.
>You sway your hips submerged hips and snap your fingers.
>A huge wave approaches from the distance.
>Rainbow narrows her eyes and strokes out to meet it.
>Once in range she turns towards the beach and assumes the position.
>The wave snags the fin underneath; tugging at the hook.
>Her hooves constantly shift back and forth trying to find the magic spot. Uncertain wings jitters for extra guidance.
>Finding just the right spot she locks herself in and rides the wave.
>As the wall of water gets closer it begins to collapse on itself creating a tunnel.
>Ever the showboat, Dash pops herself up onto her back to legs. Her front legs spread wide to either side while her wings expand to full size like tiny blue sails.
>You can see her renowned cocky grin as she leans a hoof into the wave, mimicking your earlier feat, just before eating shit.
>The wave reaches the beach, shoving your board and attached mare into your gut.
>Waterlogged but satisfied, Rainbow floats on her back with her limbs spread wide. Her upside-down face grins back at you.
"Not bad, short stack."
>"Heh. No sweat."

>>28362902
do it yet?

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Yearly reminder that your waifu may not be as pleased by your greentext as you thought.

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>>28366122
Celestia sends me a cease and desist letter after the hundredth semen offering I send her.

>>28365450
Not yet takes me forever to write anything so doing in a pastebin first then copy paste it here bit by bit

Doing a sort of Viking winds up in Equestria, why? Because I fucking love and am kind of obsessed with the Norse and their mythology, so decide why not just throw that shit together and see what happens

Anyone wanna toss me a link to the individual Mulpwiki collections for Pinkie and Rainbow? My browser glitched out and I lost the bookmarks

>>28366122
Fug

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>>28366122
Nonsense, I write only the classiest of lewds for my waifu

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>>28366230
>not delivering them in person
>not wobbling back home on broken ankles

I'ts like you don't want to hotdog her sun cheeks

>>28367970
If you know a way to get to cartoon horse land let the rest of us know. Otherwise I'll stick to the whole writing "Dear Princess Celestia" on a piece of paper, cumming on it, and then burning it in her name.

>>28368015
Are you trying to get Nicole Oliver to send you a restraining order? Because that's how you get Nicole Oliver to send you a restraining order.

>>28368075
I frame them and hang them proudly on my wall.

>>28368015
wait for 300,000 years

>>28368099
The restraining orders or the original letters?

>>28368141
Restraining orders. I got the first one when I was 17. I was creeping on some lady I met at the library.

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We're having one of those threads again.

>>28331302
>-----A month later in the frozen north-----

>Adventure beckons yet again!
>It had been tough after your abortive hunting trip to the Everfree.
>But you kept your spirits up. And drank lots of spirits when you couldn't
>As a old grey wizard once said, there's always hope.
>And true enough there was. An ancient evil has arisen in the north to threaten the crystal empire.
>You set forth at once, eager to be the hero again. Eager to rebuild your forgotten legend.
>Though, admittedly, there is something classy about being a forgotten legend.
>You can see it in the distance already, a black fog surrounding the place where a crystal city should stand.
>Warms your heart to see that someone is sticking to the classics, it'll be just like old times.
>Old times being a lot less old to you than everyone else.
>There's only one thing that gives you pause. A downside.
>Celestia already sent someone to save the empire. You never liked getting sloppy seconds, especially when quests are involved.
>It'll mean more work for you. Of that you're certain.
>Given the passive, civilised state of modern day Equestria whoever she sent will fuck up.
>Meaning you'll have to clean up the mess and put in overtime to save the empire.
>"Fucking amateurs always ruining my day"
>A sudden cry breaks your train of thought.
>A distant mournful wail of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
>The black fog blows away receding into the distance with the familiar scream of a defeated Dark Lord.
>They- They-
>You drop to your knees in shock and despair "It can't be."
>Inhaling deeply you give vent to your rage.
>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

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>>28368223
>-----One week later in Canterlot-----

>"COCKBLOCKED! FUCKING KILL STEALERS!"
>The screams and yells of rage echo through the palace.
>"Sister we may have to intervene, he hath been continuing for hours now."
>Luna might be right.
>"OUTDONE BY FUCKING SCRUBS!"
>Anon has been distressed since his return from the Crystal Empire this morning.
>"AAAAAARRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!"
>Very distressed.
>You can understand why. Being an adventurer and hero was his life.
>To be cast into the future with nothing, then being forced to start again.
>"COCKBLOCKERS!"
>It's easy to see how being thwarted in his attempts to rebuild that life, might make him irritable.
>"THAT WAS MY DARK LORD! MIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNEEEE!"
>"You're right Luna, lets see what we can do."

http://pastebin.com/4A7K0Rj8

The saga continues, later tonight or tomorrow.

>>28368237
Always nice to see your work.

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>>28368136
I think we all can agree that prolongation of human life for the sake of meeting the equine divine entity is a worthy reason to advance technology.

okay everyone got the prologue written going to post it here, give me feedback so I know if I should keep going or scrap it

This is my shitty attempt to write some AiE, this is the Saga of Viking Anon

>be on long boat sailing off to explore unknown land and seas
>a bit nervous, the great unknown is like that but not a whole lot of choice, either this or go raid Christians
>grey clouds gather above and the sky rumbles with Thor's might
>soon the seas grow violent and the sky only gets darker as the wrath of the gods are upon us
>everyone tries to keep the boat afloat but alas a wave turns us over
>knock head on the siding and blackout

>>28369382
>awake head throbbing, body aching, and pretty sure something is broke in my ribs
>look around laying on what feels like sand
>nothing but a few planks left drifting in the water or laying on the beach, seems no one made it
>"They're with the gods and their ancestors, no need to worry about them now" I say to try and comfort myself
>so much pain, barely can move, trying to stand only fails resulting in a yelp of pain
>look to my other side and see the family axe, I brought it in hope of luck, and help from my ancestors
>well guess I'm alive aren't I? thats luck and help enough I suppose
>painfully drag myself over to it and grab it feeling lightheaded and hold it tight as my vision begins to fade once more, but just before I lose consciousness I swear I heard a voice, maybe someone survived after all

>>28369388

slowly regain consciousness and notice I'm moving and on my back, from the sound of it and the feel of the wood I'm in a cart, seems I've been found and taken to town, maybe I'm truly in luck
>try to sit up but fail again with another pained groan
>I hear feminine voices speak, but I can't understand anything they're saying, being in too much pain and the fact I'm in a cart, I opt to lay back and take it easy, and hope whomever they are, they're trying to help me
>I stare at the now night sky and feel myself start to drift again, this time toward sleep and I don't fight it, I'm not in any shape to fight now anyways
>the voices speak some more but I never see a face, but so far all of them sound female, and with odd accents, ones I've not heard before
>before long I'm passed out again and into the world of dreams

>>28369395
-----One Week Later-----

>I awake once more, dreams fading quickly into the darkness as I now am looking up at a wooded ceiling
>pain seems mostly gone by now except for in my head and ribs, but far more manageable
>sit up carefully and look around and see a purple horse standing by a desk- wait is that a horn? its glowing and so is that quill, it's writing?
>obviously I'm still dreaming, or I've lost my mind
>it turns around likely hearing my shifting about and then speaks
>speak? what? horses don't speak! what matter of creature is this!?
>I quickly dive and grab the nearest object which seems to be a candle holder
>"Back horse! or whatever you are!"
>she seems alarmed as another rushes in, this one blue like the sky and her mane of a rainbow color, wings on her back, a pegasus I see
>it takes a defensive stance between me and the purple one
>the purple one speaks and seems to get her guardian to relax some, then she raises a hoof and trots off to another room, best I can tell I think she wants me to wait so I sit on the bed carefully staring down the rainbow maned one
>she thinks she's tough, I can tell, thinks herself a horse of battle, but if she or any of them try anything, I will not go down easy
>the purple one returns soon with a book, it floats in the air glowing like her horn
>with some words a bright flash occurs and she lowers the book
>"Hello, can you understand me?"
>"Uh....yes. Where am I? What are you?"
>"My name is Twilight Sparkle."

>>28369401
and thats it for the prologue hope its bearable

>>28369410
Learn to capital letters and punctuation. Also being written in first person is a bit odd, the 'standard' in these parts is second person. The perspective oddness is minor compared to the first thing though.

>>28369401
>>28369508
Agreed. I don't mind the first person, but watch the details. Capitalize and punctuate as needed, but don't over do it with the commas.

Good effort.

>>28369508
>>28369550
yeah I just couldn't really get ito the 2nd person, the punctuation and stuff is a huge weakness of mine, without going into my life story, I missed out in education on most of the really early stuff like that so I'm absolutely horrible at it, but thanks, will take into account and work on it

>>28369588
Use this as a chance to get better. You can only improve and it's never too late to grow.

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>>28369588
As long as you're willing to improve, that makes you better than some that have darkened these threads.

>>28369612
>>28369621
thats sort of the reason came here to write, its something I enjoy but something I really need to work on as well, AiE is just fun, and figured somewhere I can practice and learn

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Multilingual anon in equestria when?

>>28369674
>tfw no slavpone to build bright future with
It is of hurtings.

>>2836967
>Anon wakes up one day to discover that pony's eyes float a good half foot away from their heads

>>28363153
Fuck I wish 2snacks would make another already

>>28369984
They just have too many vowels it seems

>>28371155
Too many letters altogether. Modern Russian Cyrillic has over 30 letters and Ukrainian has more than that.

crosspostan

>Anon has a party.
>All his new pony pals are there.
>Then the music starts, and this just happens to be the first song on shuffle.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rybr5TkV7Ic
>Anon enjoys the party, dances a bit with ponibros.
>About halfway through the song, the ponies lose their shit.
>It all suddenly makes sense to them.
>Why Anon always wears so many clothes.
>Why he smells so good.
>The unnaturaly early estrus pangs.
>How they can't feel him magically.
>"Anon you are the demons!" shouts Twilight, who had previously ignored this possibility because Lyra "Harpo" Heartstrings, the town kook, has suggested it.
>And then Anon was an incubus.
>"No he's not, he's just a very naughty boy" suggests Pinkie.
>"Nope, that there song was all the proof ah needed. He's a gosh darned semen demon."
"Why are you all freaking out? Come on guys, calm down and lets go back to having a good time." interjected Anonymous, who was most certainly not an incubus.
>Needless to say, the ponies did not calm down.

>>28357852
>Anon wants to catch all the poke- err ponies
>Has a net and is running around town
>Stuffs any ponies he catches into plastic balls
>Forces them to fight for his amusement
>Will not stop until he has caught them all
>Can our ponies track down and stop the latest villain to terrorize Equestria?
>No, they can't
>They get caught along with literally every other pony in the world.
>However, since you can only have 6 pokemon with you at a time, Anon just leaves the rest at "Professor Discord"'s lab, and they sort of wander back to freedom once Discord gets bored of feeding them all, leaving only the mane 6 captured

>>28371871
Love it.

>>28369401
First person is so off putting, but that's my autism kicking in.

My major suggestion would be whenever you go to write "she thinks" or "I feel" try to reword the sentence so you describe the scene without plainly saying what it is.

For example
>she thinks she's tough, I can tell, thinks herself a horse of battle, but if she or any of them try anything, I will not go down easy

>Despite the obvious size difference she holds herself tall and her fiery eyes dare a challenge. For now the hope is for diplomacy, but if it comes to it she will find that a wounded animal is the fiercest.

>Be Anon.
>You're sitting in the park. Just like you do every day.
>Not that you have a choice.
>Your entrance into Equestria wasn't the smoothest.
>It involved a rather large dragon and the loss of your arms and legs.
>Lucky for you a pony found you before it ate the rest of you, but now you just sit around in a wheelchair in this little pony town while child ponies look at you uncomfortably.
>At least they are curious. The adults just look at you with pity.
>The yellow pegasus that takes care of you nuzzles the side of you face breaking your train of thought.
Time to go home?
>*Concerned horse noises*
No, I'm fine. I just miss TV.
>*Confused horse noises*
>You sigh and give her a smile. She smiles back and pats you on the head before getting behind you and wheeling you back to her home.
>It's not so bad living with her. She feeds you and takes care of you and gives you hoofjobs during bathtime.
>It could be worse. The peacock pony could have found you instead.

>>28373168
Sad kek and lewd

>>28373351
My favorite combination.

>>28373168
>You squirm your way downstairs; the rabbit just looks at you.
>He never helps even though you know he is somewhat intelligent. He doesn't hurt you though. Maybe he does not see you as a threat. That's fine. You have no interest in him.
>You finally make it to the kitchen. The yellow pony isn't home right now. She's out with her friend the white pony. The one who refuses to look you in the eye.
>She probably knows about tub time and disapproves.
>But that doesn't matter right now. Right now you want to get a drink of water.
>You have no idea how this is going to work.
>The glasses are way the hell up there in the cabinet and you are not going to climb that.
>You look at the rabbit.
>He looks at you.
>You look at the glasses and then at the sink.
>He crosses his arms and huffs.
>You shrug your shoulders.
>He climbs up and gets you a glass of water.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
>He nods and leave you.
>You only manage to spill half the glass on yourself this time. You're getting better.
>You caterpillar your way to the couch to chill out for a while.
>You miss TV.
>Yellow and her friend make it back home after another hour or so.
>*Concerned horse noises*
No I'm fine. How was your thing?
>*Horse fussing*
No, I'm fine. Calm down.
>The white horse makes a few neighs at yellow in what you assume is a comment about you. Mostly because yellow lays into her a bit after that. White then comes up and gives you what you assume is an apology.
>She still won't look you in the eye.
>Yellow scolds her for it.
>All of this is very entertaining for you. Mostly because nothing has happened all day.
God damn I miss TV.
>"Neigh?"
You said it.

crosspostan
>>28373564
>Vacation
>Vaccination
>Anon goes to the doctor in horseland.
>Flu shot is literally a medicinal bullet.
>A bullet is about as harmful to marshmallow ponies as a needle is to a human.
>Luckily Anon stops the doctor and explains that getting shot kills humans before the shot is delivered.
>Horse doctor is skeptical but willing to listen to the alien about alien biology.
>Especially after that incident where Anon started leaking weird red fluid after getting injured.
>Anon is sent to the town troubleshooter Princess Twilight with a note explaining "Weird alien horseapples needs looking at."
>Twilight decides that Anon needs to get his vaccinations before he is allowed to go back out into the town.
>Ponyland diseases are hardcore shit, exploding tumors, body parts rotting and falling off, even migranes can result.
>Anon introduces the hypodermic syringe with magical construction help from Twilight.
>"I'd let you stick that pricker into me anytime, handsome."

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>>28373594
Hey dude this greentext is pretty interesting, personally never seen an anon written in that way. So far ya really know how to balance the keks and the feels. Keep it up man.

>>28373978
I guess I'll write more Fleshlight Anon then.

>>28372737
Thank you that actually helps a lot, tonight plan to get started on Ch 1 may post it tomorrow, just depends I always take forever to write anything, and sorry first period off putting, should I really just switch to 2nd? Or will it be fine?

>>28374303
*Person

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>>28374303
>>28374307
Will you stick to the perspective you're most comfortable with, or get experimental? Only you can decide!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73tGe3JE5IU

>>28374536
Cute

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We need anon teaching horses about the glory of home cooking.

Here. Have a thing.

>It's another night in Twilight's castle of you not being able to sleep, it seems. You stare at the ceiling, you toss and turn, you count sheep in your head, but at this point nothing works, and you've named the sheep, and you're pretty sure some of them are flirting with you. No, tonight is just going to be another night where sleep doesn't find you.
>Fuck this insomnia game. It would at least be more fun if you knew the rules.
>As you let out a sigh and resign yourself to staring into the moonlit castle room until the sun leaks in through your window, you hear the soft creak of your door. You glance up to see the form of Twilight standing in the entrance to your room, her body outlined by the torches in the hall. She looks half awake, and a blanket is draped across one of her shoulders. She's even wearing the bunny slippers you got her for hearth's warming eve. You've never had the heart to tell her that they're made from real bunnies, but now doesn't exactly seem like the time.
"Twilight?" you say softly, your voice resounding in the otherwise still room.
>She steps into your room and kicks the door shut behind her with a soft thud. Then, without another word, she trudges over to your bedside and turns to face you. Even in the very low natural lighting, you can see she has dark circles under her eyes. Maybe you're not the only one who's been having trouble sleeping.
"Move over," she growls.
>Honestly, that doesn't sound like something you really want to do because you like your flail room when you sleep, but you suddenly feel magic envelop your body, and you shift over a good foot on your mattress. You open your mouth to protest, but she's already pulling back the blanket and sliding in beside you. Caught by the unexpected warmth beside you and the awkwardness of all this, you fall silent.
"I had a nightmare," she says at last.
"Oh."

(1/?)

>>28321980
I think she's worried her commander is going to see her and she's gonna get busted for fucking around on duty.

>>28375419

>You know you should probably say more, but you're not sure you want to know what pony princesses think about while having nightmares. Especially if that one was bad enough to drive her into your bed. You've heard of some of the shit she's been though, and none of it was pretty. Well, it was all pretty actually, they're bright colored glittery light-up tattooed ponies for fuck's sake, but some of it did sound pretty traumatic.
"It was vivid, and I can't get back to sleep now," she says hollowly.
"Oh...I'm sorry."
"I'm going to cuddle with you."
>This is one of the single most baffling sentences you've ever heard from her. It's not even a question. Twilight and you have never been intimate, and have barely been roommates. You've been through shit, she's let you get injured before, she's even promoted some of the injury herself! The idea of cuddling with her now, like this, is...well honestly not bad. She's pretty cute. She's warm. And you can't sleep anyway. Maybe the least you can do is be a little productive.
"Oh, sure," you begin to say, but she's already taking action.
>You feel her hooves wind their way around your bicep, and she presses her face against your shoulder and collarbone decisively. She squeezes you close, drawing up her back haunches so that her entire little body curls against your arm, clinging to it as if for dear life. You can feel her heartbeat through your bare skin, and you can feel her chest expand and contract with each breath. It freezes you, keeps you utterly still as you take in the sensation of it all.
>You wait to see if she's going to speak, but after a short silence of just slowing heartbeat and breathing, you turn to look at her. Her head is so close to you, you can pretty much only see her mane and cheek.
"Twilight?"

(2/?)

>>28375429

>She doesn't flinch, and the rise and fall of her breathing doesn't even alter. Is...is she asleep already? You shake your arm a little, which she's still holding very tightly, almost uncomfortably, but she doesn't flinch. Holy fuck, it looks like all she really needed to do to sleep was cuddle, just like she said! If only you were that lucky.
>You shut your eyes and try to match the pony's breathing. Maybe if you try to count those sexy sheep just one more time, you might be able to-
>An explosion goes off next to your eardrums, and your eyes shoot open.
>It takes you a moment to try to figure out what the fuck is going on, but you quickly realize that it wasn't an explosion after all. Nope. It's Twilight. She's screaming.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
>And not just a little, high pitched girl scream. She's screaming the cry of a valkyrie as it plummets to earth to retrieve a fallen warrior. The scream of a banshee harassing Albert Sharpe. The piercing noise of a Formula 1 car as it loses control and becomes a fiery but entertaining missile of death. You can practically feel your eardrums bursting.
"Twilight!" you cry out, but it doesn't pierce the sound echoing out of her wide open mouth.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
>You shake her, she keeps screaming. You shake her again, harder, but whatever is going on here, she's in some sort of magical deep sleep and this isn't doing any good. You pry open one of her eyes, to find it's barely a pinprick, and completely unresponsive to a poke or two with your index finger. You try to pull your arm out of her grasp, but she's got it in a death vice grip. You consider chewing it off to save the rest of your body, but decide you're too much of a wuss to do that. You raise your free hand to try to cover her mouth, but the force of the air coming out of her is so strong that you can't make a seal across her lips.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

(3/?)

>>28375439

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST TWILIGHT, STOP!"
>It doesn't stop. In fact, it raises in pitch.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
>You put a hand over the ear nearest her, but your other eardrum still reverberates with the sound. You realize abruptly that she has yet to stop to take a breath. Maybe when she does you can get your hand there and cover it up! You just have to wait a little longer and...
>Nothing.
>Holy fuck, she must be finding a way to draw in air through her ears and then shoot it right out her mouth or something, because she's showing no sign of breathing! You thrash wildly, trying anything to get away, but it's no use. She weighs you down like some sort of pony-shaped stone, and her chin is planted very firmly on your shoulder, holding your torso down. The screaming continues, relentless and deafening.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
>Tears stream from your eyes and you too begin to scream, irrationally, uncontrollably. There's nothing else to do. You can't sleep. You can't move. You're trapped here until morning light, force-cuddling with a screaming pony for the foreseeable future. Your screams blend in a haunting harmony of pain, regret, and resignation. You're sure if you altered your tone any further, windows int he castle might begin to shatter.
>Through tear-hazed eyes, you glance down to see Spike standing in your doorway. He glances from your open, screaming, crying face to Twilight's sleeping form with an expression of annoyance and exhaustion.
"I fucking hate you both so much," he grumbles, then shuts the door and leaves you alone with your noisy purple arm-cuff.
>It seems no one in this castle is getting any sleep tonight.

-End-

(4/4)
http://pastebin.com/a8js67F6

>>28375419
>>28375429
>>28375439
>>28375458
gods thats terrifying and depressing, but good write

>>28375393
and it's just cooking with Jack

>>28375458
wat

>>28374097
K

having writers block sucks, any ideas on trying to get past it?

>>28378740
write

>>28378740
Write about something you don't care about. No matter how shit it feels post it anyway.

Skip to a part you want to write. Ignore the buildup and come to it later. Whatever it takes to keep the momentum.

Give yourself a time limit to work and a reward at the end. Keep track of how many words you wrote in that time. Turn it into a challenge.

Find some writefag friends and agree to write at the same time so you both know there is someone struggling alongside you.

Give up and become a prostitute. I'll pay $10 for a blowie.

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>>28378740
Neizo, Some techniques for overcoming writers block say, “Just write something. Anything!” That’s fair advice, but for many, this suggestion doesn’t work as easily as its proponents suggest. How do you get over writer’s block? Don’t just write anything. Write the worst sentence in the world.

>>28378740
Don't try to force it. Just do other stuff snd let ideas pop in your head

>>28375458
The art of anonpencil:

first half cute mixed with passively grumpy Anon
second half shit hits the fan and everything turns out worse than expect for Anon

You know, with a few more short stories from you I could create an algorithm for anonpencil AI.

due to writers block I'm just writing random shit so here it'll probably suck

>Doing a favor for Fluttershy.
>Wants me to run and pick up some bear food.
>Apparently bear food is a thing I don't fucking know, I just need bits and she offered to pay so whatever.
>Get to store and wander the isles as ponies stare at the shaved ape talking in hushed tones.
>"I can fucking hear you, not deaf or stupid."
>Ponies trot away and comment on how rude I am.
>Whatever
>Pick up a fucking huge bag of bear food and carry it, god damn thing is heavy.
>No wonder she sent me to do it thing be lighter if you filled it with bricks.
>Carry the bag to the cashier and she nervously gives me the total.
>Pay her the bits Fluttershy gave me and haul this thing off.

>>28379426
>Carry this thing across town, actually thankful I did all that work helping Applejack harvest apples or I wouldn't have the strength or endurance to carry this thing.
>See a pink blur bouncing my way.
>Fuck not Pinkie>
>"HI ANONNY NON!"
>"Do you have any volume control?"
>She just giggles and keeps bouncing around me.
>"What you up to?"
>"What does it look like I'm doing?"
>Again she just giggles like she always does.
>"I came to invite you to a party!"
>Joy of joys.
>She stuffs an envelope in my pocket some how while I'm still walking and she bouncing.
>Before can even ask her what made up shit she's throwing a party for this time, she's already off to annoy someone else.

>>28379435
>Finally arrive at Fluttershy's place.
>Place this heavy ass bag down and head inside.
>She's wearing some thin see through veil thingy.
>She's trying to seduce me again.
>"Oh h-hello anon, thank you for getting that bear food for me, the money is on the table, if you like you can also come over here and s-sit with me."
>She tries to strike a sexy pose on the couch.
>I face palm and grab the money and quickly head out the door.
>"Bye."
>"A-Anon, wait!"
>I don't wait I just keep walking back home.
>Stupid horny Fluttershy

>>28379441
thats it, not much, but whatever I wrote something today and feel like I at least did something

>>28375458
I read your blog, I hope you feel better soon, Pencil.

>>28379091
Fucking do it faggot.

>>28380178
Y-you too.

>>28380424
You're a good person Pencil. Write more weird shit.

>>28381280

I've actually mused over putting some of my...less formulaic AiE stuff on here. But it tends to be first person, from pony perspective, or depressing. So instead, you'll get the same old oneshits with a side of suffering anon, fetishes, and gore.
Hope you're up for that, friendo.

>>28379441
Flutterrape would be proud of you. Glad you love us more though.

>>28381479
I like depressing. Bring it.

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>>28381479
>some of my...less formulaic AiE stuff on here
>But it tends to be first person, from pony perspective, or depressing.
I would enjoy if you were to post thing.

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>>28381217

>>28381726

Get that weeb shit out of here, we don't post pony in your weeb trash boards.

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>>28381740
Only because you can't fgt

>>28381740
So much salty tears

>>28373594
>The Purple pony keeps trying to learn your language. It's nice to have company. Even though her efforts aren't amounting to much.
>Vocal cords are just too different for your species you guess.
>Although, she does sound like a woman choking on three dicks at the same time which is pretty funny.
>You don't laugh at her though. You're not an asshole.
>Yellow is always around for these sessions too. Answering questions on your behave you suppose.
>It's fine. You're not too concerned about dignity these days.
>Not even for the part that comes after the language lesson where Purple fires glowy shit onto your naked stumps.
>They always itch after she's done.
>At least yellow gives you a bath when Purple leaves.
>Tub time is fun time. Especially because she started using her mouth a little.

>>28381745
They're good too.

>>28382290
Neat

>>28385176
Careful Twilight, that lamp came all the way from Italy.

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>>28381732
>dat smile
>can't rape the willing, anon

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>It was that time of year again.
>The Ponyville fundraiser event.
>Apparently just straight up donating money was too simple, so ponies would set up little stalls to sell something, with the money going to whatever it was they were trying to fund.
>Kissing booths were particularly popular, probably because there isn't much effort involved.
>This year was no exception.
>You start your stroll, taking in the sights.
>Kissing booth, kissing booth, kissing booth, tasteful summer hat made right before your eyes (and presented to you with a kiss) booth.
>Spike desperately trying to get more bits from Twilight while holding his tower of tasteful summer hats steady with one claw.
>A small crowd of ponies around a booth staffed by Princess Celestia.
>Well that's new.
>As you got closer to the new addition, you can hear ponies talking about it.
>"I wonder what the special is."
>"She's hardly had anypony brave enough to get even a kiss, we'll probably never find out."
>This won't do at all.
>Determination welling up within you, you stride purposefully to Celestia's booth, and start counting out your bits.
>A hush descends over the town as everyone stops to watch you.
>Celestia's eyes light up as you count out your tenth bit, and slap them down on her booth.
"I would like ten kisses please."
>Her face falls instantly, and you can hear the crowd's disappointment behind you.
>Once the tension has been suitably ruined, you drop the bag with the rest of your bits next to your first ten.
"And three specials."
>That gets you the reaction you were hoping for.
>Hopefully the special turns out to be nice.

>>28386237
Moar my kind sir

>>28368237
>-----The next evening-----

>You and Luna agreed Anon needed some more distraction.
>Something to take his mind off adventuring and the past.
>Rather conveniently a banquet had been planned in the garden to welcome the new Minos ambassador.
>Almost too convenient to be coincidence but you find life to be full of little things like that.
>Anon is seated at the far end of the table. Looking slightly uncomfortable.
>You imagine Anon is more used to feasting than banqueting.
>------
>The main course is eventually brought out and you cast your eye down the table again.
>The guests near Anon look appalled, it must be their first time encountered a carnivore or a grilled steak.
>Ah to be young and inexperienced.
>Oh look, Anon has said something that's caused them to look even more appalled.
>Either he's threatened them or made a terribly crass joke about eating them.
>Though given his general disposition and barbarian ways, it's more likely a combination of both.
>He does seem to be drinking alot though, perhaps getting him a human sized mug wasn't the best idea.
>Your thoughts are interrupted by the ambassador attempting to start a conversation.

>>28386237
I'll bet it's hardcore friendly hugging.

>>28387666
>------
>You've been enjoying yourself so far. Too long, it seems fate has decreed.
>Your conversation with the surprisingly erudite ambassador is interrupted by gasps of surprise and the shaking of the table.
>It seems Anon, having quaffed enough wine to kill a gryphon, has climbed onto the table.
>And is now marching along it, quaffing more wine and singing a song in his native tongue.
>Though it's hard to tell, given his circumstances he probably knows a number of now dead languages.
>You surreptitiously signal to the guard to restrain Anon.
>Then you remember Anon's first encounter with the guard, your little ponies might be hurt.
>No, that was a sober, professional Anon.
>They should have no trouble with this incoherent mess.
>Anon however has other plans, somehow sensing the guard approach despite his inebriation.
>He reacts by leaping from the table with a drunken battlecry, a guard gets bonked on the head by his wine mug and a brawl ensues.
>Smirking Luna rises from her seat next to you.
>"We shall see to this sister."
>A flash of silvery-blue light and Luna and the guards and Anon are gone. Teleported away.
>The evening is saved. As much as you enjoy exciting parties, sometimes you just want a quiet evening.

>>28387678
barbarian anon is mah nigga

>>28387777
Quads confirm barbarian anon, best anon.

>>28387678
>>28387777
>>28387946
I also enjoy it when you update.

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>>28339533
>PaleNarrator's
>yfw you remember he promised a 9/11 story 4 years ago...

It was going to have two submarine crashing into one of Canterlot's Many Towers as its main plot point...

>>28339533
Pale nuked his pastebin when his IRL life was a fucking mess, he's said he regrets it. People have saved collections of all his stuff, but I got no clue how to post it.

>>28389593
IRL is merely a distraction. Pone is life.

>>28390382
Pone don't pay the bills.

>>28391078
tru dat my nigga

>>28391078
It does if you own a farm.

>>28391275
Or if you set up an Etsy account for Rarity.

crosspostan stuff
>>28391501
>Elements of Harmony are used on Nightmare Moon
>Who is being ridden around by Anon for fun, much to her dismay
>Magic spell hits both
>Luna is freed from the evil spirit
>Nightmare is tossed off into the horizon like team rocket
>Anon falls into the hole Nightmare left
>Anon is the new Nightmare Moon
>He sees what has happened and is not amused
"Fuck this TFfag bullshit. I need hands."
>Begins to chisel his new hooves back into hands using a sharp piece of metal that was laying around the ruined castle
>Alicorn magic super healing makes this only a moderately bad idea
>Mane six look on in horror
>Luna is pleading for him to stop in his head
"I'll stop when I can hold my dick again."
>"But you don't have a dick, you're a mare."
"Well shit, looks like I'm going to have to find a way to fix that too, aren't I?"
>[MOON HORSE SCREAMING INTENSIFIES]

>>28377856
>Be Anon in Ghouldquestria
>Ponies learned to split atoms and promptly caused a nuclear holocaust
>Now they're all bald wrinkly ghouls with lots of missing skin
>You're the only one here who isn't horribly deformed from radiation exposure
>They are now fighting over you since most of them had their dicks fall off over a century ago
>And with a big purple blast of magic, Twilight has won
>She is approaching you with a sharp looking needle
>"It's science time, Anon.
"No, Twilight, No!"
>"Yes, Anon, yes."
>She jabs it into your donger and then runs off with her sample, leaving you with a small prick on your prick
>Today could have gone much worse

>>28391859
more crosspost
>>28382289
>Be Anon.
>Not be RGRE enough yet.
>You whistle for a cab and when it gets near you notice the license plate says dongring and there were dice on the mirror.
>If anything you might think that this cab is rare, but you put that thought aside.
"Yo pone, to Canterlot."
>You pulled up to the castle about seven or eight.
>You look to the cabbie.
"Yo pone, smell you later."
>You look around, you've finally arrived.
>You sit on your throne as the prince of Canterlot.
>Then the white princess of canterlot comes in and sits on her throne.
>She notices you and stands back up.
>"Oi yew, wotcher doin in me chair?"
"It's moi fookin chair innit mate? Oim da prince."
>"Yer no prince, yer not even a blahdy horse ya slag."
"Then what'm oi doin onna throne den?"
>Princess Celestia pauses.
>"Cor, that's a good point."
"Orv corhse it'sa good point."
>And then Anon was royalty.

>>28382403
>Anon's inna Ponyville.
>Is staying at Twilight's.
>Working as a librarian.
>Inadvertently becomes the sexy librarian
>So many clothes, such balance, what mare could resist?
>The purest of husbandos, did not even know what estrus was until recently.
>Twilight has a crush on him.
>Friends all give advice on how to approach him.
>None of it is any good.
>"Go to his mother and as permission to court him."
>Some of the suggestions are not only not good ones, they are flat-out illegal.
>"Silly filly, just slip a little something in his drink and you can have your own private party with him all night long!"
>Unfortunately these either do not work or are dismissed out of hoof by Twilight as impossible for anypony who is not Pinkie Pie to pull off.
>Twilight eventually falls back to her original plan of just telling him how she feels.

>>28391859
>>28391859
>>28391866
You know drunk anon your shit is so beautifully random I love it, keep it up

>>28391627
yes

>>28391627
>Be Rarity.
>Anonymous let you purchase a personal item from a place called "Bad Dragon."
>It is wonderful. Too bad it doesn't come with the shame and degradation that normally accompanies a diamond dog coupling.
>You miss Rex. He was a very good boy.

>>28393902
Hawt

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>>28387216
>i'm eating for four now
>yeah, i can count
>alicorns need lots of energy to grow
>fucking hayburger slut

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>>28394305
I-Is online shopping y-your fetish Anon?

>"Ooh, what's this place? What are we going to try here?!"
>"That there is Anon's house." answers Applebloom
>Scootaloo shoves her friend out of the way.
>"He's kinda weird though."
>"As ah was sayin' that's Anon's house. And he is a bit weird, but that's good."
>Sweetie Belle interrupts this time.
>"Yeah! You never know what he's gonna be doing!"
>The gryphon squeaks with excitement.
>"Wildcard! Thanks crusaders, I'm sure to get my cutie mark here!"

>-----15 minutes later-----

>The gryphon returns to the crusaders. Scootaloo pipes up first.
>"Well? How'd it go?"
>"Nothing. But we've still half the list to do!"

>-----Meanwhile in Anon's bedroom-----

>Twilight stole your porn stash again. Probably for more 'Research'.
>And your imagination was never that great.
>Fortunately a helpful gryphon came and posed for you.
>All very weird in retrospect. But your were a desperate man with a boner.
>Now you just need to find your NVGs and a cardboard box, that porn won't rescue itself.

>>28387668
whoa

How you doin?

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>>28397189

incoming greentext its kinda long, and yes I name fagged myself for sake of organization and be posting here often so eh

>>28398074
>Be Anon the only human in all Equestria.
>Moved into Ponyville late yesterday.
>Been in Equestria for all your life.
>Came here as a baby with a library of records from your home world all music and some books on your people, mostly biology and stuff on how to care for a human and such.
>No clue why or how, never really got an answer from Celestia, who has practically raised you all these years and treated you like you're her own son.
>You don't fucking know why or how but they came with you and that is your situation so whatever, your as clueless as any other.
>Celestia sent you here saying like her student you should try to make friends and Ponyville is a good place.
>She keeps mommying you, I mean she's nice and did raise you, plus you know she means well but you're a grown ass man now.
>Finally have stuff unpacked and set up, wasn't a whole lot just those records, books, and your clothes.
>House is a nice small two story two bedrooms with all the usual rooms and amenities.
>Walk out to check the mail.
>See there is already a new dent in the side of the mailbox.
"the fuck?"
>Check it out curiously.
>Notice a friendly grey Pegasus mailmare waving at you as she flies off on her route.
>Open the mailbox and notice two letters and a muffin.
>Who the fuck mails muffins?
>Check the first letter seems to be from your neighbor who is the mailmare you just saw.
>She is greeting you to the neighborhood.
>Heh NEIGHborhood always makes you chuckle.
>She apparently is the one that gave you this muffin as the greet and admits to accidentally damaging your mailbox.
>She apologizes and promises another muffin tomorrow as a sorry.
>Well good enough you suppose.
>Return inside eating muffin and opening second letter.
>This one seems to be from Celestia, it says an old friend of hers is returning to Equestria after being away for a long time and wants her to be my room mate that we would "do good" for each other.
>Fuck of course, always got to mommy you.

>>28398091
>Whatever could use a roommate anyhow so enough bitching.
>Sit and eat muffin while wondering who it could be.
>At first think maybe could be Luna? but no she's been back for a bit, maybe Celestia has other friends? long life like hers its entirely possible.
>Finish reading the letter dumbass maybe it'll say.
>Reading the rest of it gives a time place and day at the train station about a week from now.
>Not much more except she's known this pony for a very long time, and that this pony is eccentric but good at heart.
>When someone has to state that someone is "eccentric" you know you're in for something.
>Well not a whole lot you can do about it except wait and hope for the best.
>After eating the muffin you go out to meet with this student of Celestia's which she suggested you do.
>Its likely Twilight, you've met her a few times when with Celestia but never known her more then as a hello and as Celstia's student, so really other then knowing what she looks like you know jack all about her and where she lives due to Celestia telling you where.
>You really wish Celestia would stop mommying you.
>After arriving at a tree home library thing you knock on the door and shortly after a small purple green dragon answers and looks up at you surprised, obviously not expecting some ape at the door.
>"Uhhhh Twilight you have uh...a guest at the door."
>He runs off likely to get Twilight.

>>28398104
>Soon Twilight trots up and greets you.
>"Oh hello Anon, its been awhile since I've last seen you, you seem to be doing well, adjusting to ponyville well enough?"
"yeah I'm doing well, other then a dented mailbox all is going smoothly"
>We share pleasantries and awkward getting to know each other stuff as she explains Celestia had mailed her a letter about you moving here and how she was to introduce you to her friends.
>Don't really have anything better to do. "Sure be happy to."
>While you understand she's kind of new herself she's adjusted quickly and made friends.
>After walking around for a bit she tells you about the dangers of the Everfree Forest, likely trying to break the silence, before you are suddenly attacked by a pink blur.
>"Hiya new friend! and welcome to Ponyville!" the pink pony screamed and rained confetti on you.
"Pinkie Pie! he's new to town please don't scare him away."
>While you're sure Twilight cares to some measure you're sure its more a worry that you'll write badly about her to her teacher. Like even if you did not like she's going to be thrown in a dungeon or some shit.
>What you can only guess is completely ignoring Twilight, Pinkie Pie continues to hop around you and babble at the rate of mach 2.
>After bouncing around little longer she gives you some envelope about a party just for you to give you a Ponyville welcome.
"thank you thats actually really nice of you."
>You didn't except some random pony to actually throw you a party, much less give a shit.

>>28398112
>Twilight smiles "you know thats actually a good idea Pinkie, give Anon here the perfect chance to meet everypony and get settled."
>Pinkie beams while still bouncing around you.
>"Well mister Anonny! I'd love to stick around and chat but I need to deliver the other invites! so byeseas!"
>Like that she hops off with a spring in her step.
>No seriously with how she bounces you're almost sure she has springs in her legs or some shit.
>"Well that was Pinkie Pie I know she can be a bit...overwhelming at times but she's very thoughtful. Since you'll meet the rest at the party I'll just give you a tour of the town and you can head back to get ready."
>"Alright sounds like a plan then."

>>28398122
----few hours later----

>Its evening now.
>Heading out of house now to go to your party.
>Had put on some decent clothes knowing its not going to be a fancy party or anything, so you just throw on some clean presentable clothes and head to the bakery.
>Upon arriving seems Pinkie has put up a "welcome to Ponyville" banner and ponies mill about talking.
>Not a bunch of ponies but enough that you're a little surprised this many came.
>Ponies seem completely surprised, likely not knowing you weren't a pony.
>They seem to mostly nervously greet you and are at least trying to be polite and not stare at you too much.
>You've dealt with this your whole life so you're no longer bothered by it, just happy they have the courtesy to try and not stare.
>Before you even know it Pinkie has some how grabbed you and now pulling you over to a small group of ponies one of them being Twilight.

>>28398133
>Pinkie introduces them all to you in her usual loud and cheery fashion.
>The first to speak is the white one Rarity
>"Is a pleasure to meet you darling welcome to Ponyville."
>She sounds like one of those Ponies from Canterlot very posh.
>Fucking hate those ponies, made your life hell growing up.
>But you give her a chance and be polite.
"Its nice too meet you Rarity Twilight showed me your boutique, it looks nice"
>Nice one Anon that doesn't sound awkward
>Always were shit at conversation, never know what to say in introductions except the obvious.
>"oh thank you! since you've seen it you know right where I'm at, if you ever need clothes made I'd be happy to make them, the challenge for making clothes for your body be fun and interesting as well. Oh yes and your gift."
>She hooves over a gift card at her boutique
>One thats actually kind of generous amount of bits on it
>Thought its completely possible she's just trying to gain favor with you to get to Celestia
>Nobles did that shit to you all the time.
>But she seems earnest, you've become very good at detecting bullshit growing up among nobility.
>Maybe she isn't so bad.
"Thank you Rarity I greatly appreciate it"
>"It's no problem really happy to help"

>>28398141
>Then the orange one Applejack pipes in "It's mighty nice to meet ya Anon and extend an Apple welcome to ya!"
"Thank you Applejack"
>"ah its not problem, ah run a farm just outside town here, best apples in all Equestria, as a gift the family and ah baked ya a apple pie"
>It actually looks very good, you can't wait to dig into that.
>She seems down to earth and nice enough, if a bit plain.
>Being plain isn't bad though, its actually rather refreshing, not having to deal with stupid nobles with their ulterior motives and fake feelings.
>Everything is up front about her and in the open.
>Rainbow Dash which quickly caught your eye with having a rainbow mane and all, flies around you a bit and welcomes you.
>"Welcome to Ponyville Anon, I'm Rainbow Dash the awesome-ist and fastest pony in all Equestria!"
>She seems to go on and on about herself, admittedly you sort of zone out for a short while
>You're used to nobles talking about themselves not caring about you all the time so its nothing new for you, she's arrogant but in a different way.
>She's a hot shot, not snooty, don't mind hot shot so much so long as their arrogance doesn't get too out of hand.
>You listen back in before you're caught not listening.
>"-You seem a cool...guy? we should hang some time, oh and you're gift."
>She gives you a Wonderbolts magazine latest issue you assume.
>This seems more like a gift she'd enjoy.

>>28398160
>You don't really mind to be honest though Wonderbolts are kind of interesting, and not read this issue so whatever good enough for you.
>at last you are introduced to Fluttershy by Twilight "this is Anon Fluttershy"
>"h-hello"
>She seems nervous and hides behind her friends a little.
>Can't tell if she's scared of you or simply always like this.
>Considering her name might be a bit of both.
>You try not to make it worse by saying hello softy.
>Don't want to scare her away or look like a prick.
>She shifts a bit and gives you a sort of paper
>"I-its a job offer, I could always u-use help with my fuzzy friends and k-knowing you just moved here might need a job."
>She shrinks a bit speaks even softer "If you want of course"
>That's....actually really kind of her, you're a complete stranger and some weird ape thing she's never seen yet offers you a job?
>You will need to think it over but really are considering it.
"Thank you very much Fluttershy this is very nice of you, I will need to sleep on it but I will really consider it."
>She gives a tiny smile and hides a little less behind her friends and gives you a small nod.

>>28398168
>After meeting all of Twi's friends you mingle a bit even though don't really want to or really have to share info about yourself.
>Just trying to make a decent impression as these ponies are your neighbors now.
>After almost two hours of hanging out and trying not to make yourself look bad the party starts to disperse and end.
>You thank Twi Pinkie and her friends for coming and tell them you're heading home.
>You walk home glad to have had this party but also glad its over, weren't one for these kind of parties.
>Your parties tend to end with property damage, vandalism and waking up half naked in strange places.
>After getting home you strip down to your underwear and fall into bed.
>Usually you stayed up a lot later but you're trying to turn a new leaf and start your new life here right not taking any chances on fucking that up.
>You lay in feeling that perhaps things are looking up for you, for once tomorrow feels like it holds promise.

>You quickly drift off to sleep hoping things are going your way this time and knowing tomorrow you need to go job hunting. Fluttershy's offer was very nice but you don't want to just jump without seeing what your options are first.

>>28398174
thats it prologue of my anon in Equestria plan it to be an on going series and hope it doesn't suck too bad, but happy to finally be typing it, wanted to do this for years

>>28398190
Nice so far, glad to see another writer.

>>28398190

Well hello there new namefag.
Your punctuation could use a bit of work...maybe a lot of work. Commas and periods are your friends, keep them close at hand. Either way, thank you for the rather lengthy green, and welcome!
Keep writing!

>>28324942
>your cherry tomatoes are just getting ripe and look very nice, and even earth ponies compliment you on them

This made me feel good inside
I, too, grow tomatoes in my backyard

>Be Anon.
>You have two pony slaves and a pony roommate.
>You don't own Pinkie. She just kind of lives here with you, Rarity, and Twilight.
>She pays rent in cash, baked goods, and fellatio. She made you promise not to tell Twilight that she is a free pony for some reason.
>Oh well, you're not one to judge.
>Twilight recreated Microsoft Excel 2000. It works better than the original, but not as good as the 2013 edition. You praised her anyway because you think she may be cracking under the pressure.
>You do plan on freeing her eventually, but you have to wait for a go ahead from Celestia. Something about advanced friendship lessons or something.
>As long as you keep getting paid it does not matter.
>A diamond dog moved in down the street. You'll either have to keep an eye on Rarity or talk to them both about him renting her "services." Mostly because you're tired of hearing her ride that Bad Dragon dildo she bought a month ago.
>Twilight and Pinkie are both concerned for her. She wasn't like this back home. Maybe it's the air or the captivity, but that unicorn has needs.
>Scary, depraved, disgusting needs that you are not equipped to handle.
>Oh well. At least her online shop is doing very well.