>You will never be a lonely desperado just trying to survive

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>>28286163
Applejacks a shit
Appleoosa a shit
Most earth ponies other than Ponks are shit.

>>28286177
For (you)

>>28286163
WANTED WANTED DEAD OR ALIVEEEEEE
http://youtu.be/SRvCvsRp5ho

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>>28286368
Groovy

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>>28286163
>You are Anon "Wily" Mous
>Ya got that name by breaking put of every pony prison cell they put you in.
>Turns out most locks here aren't designed with fingers in mind.
>Right now, you are riding the last train out to a little podunk town by the name of Appaloosa
>Seeing as that's one of the most popular fruits of the day, their makin a pretty penny down here.
>Meaning there's a lot of money waiting somewhere out there waiting to be taken by you.
>As you gaze across the wide open desert, the sky begins to change color as the sun goes down.
>Better get some sleep, got a lot of information to hunt down tomorrow.
>As you pull down your hat and settle into your seat for the night, an unnoticed pair of emerald eyes study you intensely.

-=-=-=-=-=-

>You are Applejack, and yer tailin Anon.
>Ain't nothin but trouble when he gets a new outfit and skips town.
>So this time your gonna tag along and make sure he don't do nothin stupid.

>>28286499
Go on
Pardner

>>28286513
I need to sleep, got shit to do tomorrow morn.
College comes first, sorry.
I'll see what I can do tomorrow evening

>>28286163
>It just feels wrong.
>But so right.
>With two bags over your shoulders, one full of bits and the other full of salt, you couldn't feel any happier.
>You're enjoying your walk into the sunset, when you hear something...
>Another pair of spurs.
>You look over your shoulder, and see the silhouette of an earth pony.
>Who could it be? All the other ponies have enough common sense to let you take what you want.
>Besides, who would dare tussle with the Anon with No Name?
>"I believe you have somethin' that ain't yours."
>You turn around, your large hat protecting you from Celestia's sun just enough for you to get a good look.
>Whoa there. Isn't she stunning?
>Bright green eyes, blonde hair tamed in a ponytail, and a hat to match.
>"Well? Hoof the bags over!"
>She's got a nice voice, too.
"I believe these here bags are rightfully mine, seeing as how no-one seems to claim them as theirs."
>You look around, gesturing to the ghost-town filled with expert hide-n-seekers.
>"Then they're mine, and I'm gonna return 'em!"
>You look at the bags, a large signature $alt mark on one, and a bits mark on the other.
"I don't see your name on them."
>She stares you down, and there's silence.
>You drop the bags, each making their own loud *thud* as they hit the dirt.
>You both move a hand or hoof towards a holster, and twitch with anticipation.
>Waiting for the slightest hint at a "Go!"
>Everything was on the line.
>Even the tumbleweeds were fleeing at what was going down.
>A yellow glint came from her chest, and you were going to take it once you won.
>A single line whispers through your head.
"It's High Noon"
>Just as you reach for your weapon, you see her do something that stops you in your tracks.
>She winked at you!
>Instinct takes over, and you faintly mutter, "Y-you too."
>*BANG!*
>A sharp pain hits your chest, and red begins to flow down your shirt.
>You bring a hand to inspect the substance, and it is indeed what you think it is.

>>28286601
>It is indeed what you think it is
Spaghetti sauce?

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>>28286601
>She walks towards you as you fall to your knees.
>She sways her Apple-marked hips as she does so.
>Finally, you see what made that glint from earlier.
"No..."
>"Hm hmm sugarcube."
"That's not fair..."
>She raises the object, letting you see it closer.
>"Yup, three-time Equestria Paintball Champion."
>You contain your rage as she grabs the two bags.
>T-the salt...
>The bits...
>Gone.
>"Justice ain't gonna deliver these itself, help me carry these bags back."
"Damn it, alright..."
>You get up and bring up a bag over your shoulder while she takes the other.
>You make sure to stand behind her.
>Because you were gonna make a run for it, not because you were going to enjoy the view, or anything...
The end.

>>28286616
>Losing control of the sauce while in-front of your waifu
I think not.

>>28286626
>Akimbo
That's fucking digusting.

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apul bump

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>>28287790
MOAR bump

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYPAy4Ww2Rw

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>>28289132
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsEGkZtTPzQ

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pHQuCezmLE

I'm a chill dude
-stubs toe-
SHIT FUCK TITTY FORESKIN BITCH TOTTY ASS MOTHERFUCKER
nigger

>>28286554
By god... It's Night Light Jr
>>28285441

Did the same thing last night.

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>You will never run moonshine with AJ
>Driving like a madman through the mountain roads
>Dropping a gear and putting the pedal to the floor to drift on old gravel roads leaving a massive cloud of dust in your wake.
>You'll never hear the glorious roar of a V8 mixed with AJ's laughter.

I don't want to live on this planet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0m0hTrtlWM

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>>28290254
Huh. That's quite the coincidence. Not entirely surprising though, Considering our general age demographic.

Also I'll get back to it tonight, I gotta do some stuff for my Geo class.

>>28290323
>shitfag thefuck u talkin bout???

*tumbleweed rolls by*

>>28286499
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ9iflvCwok

>>28286163
I would face her down when she comes after me. Eventually, I'd just have to carry her and the money back to town. Since she is the element of honesty, there'd be no way to have her change her mind. Get her back to town after she's probably had a hard days work and make her some lemonade, I dunno.

>>28290323
>moonshine
>not extra strong cider

>>28291901
Reminder that she's the sheriff and it's her job to take you in dead or alive. And if she takes you alive, you'll likely be hanged shortly after

>>28291026
Holy shit, I'm not the only one that listens to this. Nice.

>>28286554
It's well past evening right now

>>28292677
I just got out of class and am eating a shitty wrap for dinner as I type.

>>28286499
~~one lonesome train ride later~~

>As the sunlight shines through your window, you wish you had splurged a little and gotten a sleeper car.
>As you stretch and attempt to ease the aching pain in your neck, you can feel eyes on you.
>Snapping around, you see nopony, just a little brown cowboy hat hanging on a hook by the corner of the car.
>it looks somewhat familiar, but you dismiss it as your neck pangs.
>Your on your way to the little ol' west town of Equestria, there's bound to be plenty of ponies sporting those things.
>Gathering up all of your one bags, you wait for the train to pull into station.
https://soundcloud.com/cloud_23/06-blue-funk
>Climbing down the little steps of the carriage, you toss a bit at the conductor.
"I was never here, alright?"
>"You got it, Mr. Green Hoof"
>guess that's the 'John Smith' in Equestria.
>Looking around the little town, you deem it a little too early to drink, so you head over to the building with the apple over it.
>Hopefully they'll have pastries or something.

-=-=-=-=-=-

>Having woke up a bit before the crack of dawn, you thought yourself a tad famished, and grabbed an apple from your bag.
>Chewing it quietly, you creep over to the booth that Anon was sittin' in.
>Yup, still there.
>Boy his neck is gonna be sore when he wakes up.
>As you study him, the sun peeks over the horizon, striking the tall green man directly in the eyes.
>As he begins to stir, you run to the other side of the car, your hat flying off on the way.
>You try and hide your breathing, hoping he didn't see ya.
>When you think that the coast is clear, you chance a peek around the corner and see Anon dozing off again, this time fully dressed with his bag slung over his shoulder.
>He's also got some funny lookin orange shades on.
>Is he the only weird one, or are all o' them humans nuts like he is?

---------------------------------------
I'll keep typing a while, but here's what I got so far.

>>28292065
>"stahp right there, sugarcube!"
>"yer gonna drop those bags of bits right now along with yer gun!"
>"yer a wanted man, Anon. Ahm takin you back to appleoosa where you'll be tried fer yer crimes! Maybe there'll be a bit a' rope in it fer ya!"
"lolnopefaggot."
>"WAT? Anon, what in the hay are ya doin?"
"I'm taking you back to town, silly sheriff horse!"
>"Thats not how this works! Put me down so I can arrest you!"
"Haha, nah."

>>28286177
How can someone be so fucking wrong about Applejack, but so right about ponks?

It's mind bottling

>>28293009
>You decide to hide under your seat until he leaves the car, and follow him out about a minute later.
"'Scuse me Mr. Conductor, ya'll seen the tall green feller get off? Where'd he go?
>"I'm sorry miss, I haven't seen anybody that would match that description."
>Damn, he's good if he can slip by the trainponies.
>'Specially since you were the only two to come into town.
-=-=-=-=-=-

>Stepping into the small building, you find the interior surprisingly clean compared to the worn looking sign outside.
>dropping your strap wrapped bag by one of the tables, you walk up to the mare at the counter
"Pardon me miss, might a man find some breakfast here?"
>"Why, certainly! What're ya hankerin for, stranger?"
"Anything sweet and filling, ma'am. and the name's Green Hoof."
>"Well if your lookin to fill your belly and satisfy your sweet tooth, you came to the right place! Here at the Candy Apple, we got danishes, doughnuts, pies, bear claws, berliners, cinnamon rolls--"
"Cinnamon rolls sound great. Do ya'll got coffee?"
>"Yessiree! Will that be all for you Mr. Hoof?"
>You spy a bunch of bananas hanging in the corner
"I'll also take a banana."
>"Alrighty, that'll be 12 bits."
>Sitting down to enjoy your breakfast, you spot a pony's ponytail tail out the window.
>Only one mare you know wears her tail like that.
>Looking through the crowd, you see glimpses of orange and the same brown hat from the train.
>Finally, you see her signature three-apple ass tattoo.
>Well damn it all, she followed you all the way from Ponyville!
>The legendary lasso mare, Applejack! She's the only pony who could take you down when you broke out.
>Scarfing down your breakfast, you try and think of a way out as she walks toward the Candy Apple.
>As you're about to throw out your trash, you spy the banana peel.
>...
>It just might work.

>>28293494
-=-=-=-=-=-

>Trotting over to the Candy Apple, you see a tall silhouette in the window.
>That's gotta be him!
>As you head for the doors, the figure disappears.
>Breaking into a canter, you open the door--
>Suddenly you are flipping backwards, and land on your face.
>As the taste of copper enters your mouth, you feel a gust behind you and the door opening and shutting.
>Whirling around you throw the door open, only to see the regular townsfolk walking about.
>You look back inside, and find it empty save for the mare behind the counter.
>Had you imagined it?
>You look down to see what you slipped on.
>...
>Really? A banana peel?
"Miss, was there a man by the name of Anon here?"
>"Nope, just Mr. Green Hoof stoppin by to get some breakfast."
>Back to the search. You really wish you hadn't lost that damn ape.

-------------------------
Alright, I think that's it for tonight. Sorry for the wait for such a silly little green.

>>28293494
>>28293506
http://youtu.be/LQb28n56Kbk

Dad gum, why there ain't no more Anons here?

>>28293506
this tickles

>>28294287
In a good way?

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>>28294305
yis
it has remarkable consistency. it's not some over the top godlike green, but it doesn't get more abrasive at certain lines. cohesion is the term.
i wait

Howdy

>>28286163

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>>28286163
Here you go
>>28293251
Mind boggling

>>28295142

>>28293506
This is pretty good manf